#positive self-analysis

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Sparks flew as our blades met, little bits of light scattering off, raining specks like stars against the dark stone before swiftly dying.

Most stars were dead. At least, of the ones we could see.

That’s what Violet had told me, one night while lying back against the shade-chilled shingles of our home village’s highest building, staring up at the light specked sky.

Specks that appeared as they had hundreds, thousands, millions, billions of years ago. It took so long for their rays to travel so far. The sky offered a glimpse into the distant past, of what had been, and never would be again.

She couldn’t sleep that night. Most nights, neither of us could. So we climbed all the way up there, up a fence, up a tree, up the iron grate decor on the flaking plaster of an abandoned storage shed. We would try to see how much of the Navy’s navigation charts we could spot from our own pretend crow’s nest, a ramshackle circle of old branches and driftwood on the roof’s tiling, preparing Violet to join Captain Sørenson in His Majesty’s Royal Navy before she’d even stepped foot aboard a ship.

I don’t think our mother knew. And Violet’s idol of a father was always away, always far away in his captain’s quarters or always locked away in his study. He barely paid any mind to his bastard daughter, no more than he did the wild beast he had found floating out amidst the remnants of a shipwreck. The one forgotten by the Ascendants to die in the freezing waters of the Arctic Ocean.

The one he had decided to name as his second child.

I wouldn’t lose this.

[ . . . ]

A pearl of blood fell from Violet’s cheek as she lifted her gaze to me, the red staining the gold trim of her uniform, splattering across the navy. Hatred darkened her stare, absolute, churning like storm clouds behind the hazel. But her voice was just as dead as the stars.

“Celestine Sørenson-Martínez, you are under arrest for unlawful use of magic, harassing a Navy officer, and thievery of the Siren’s Soul.”

Okay so! This is a big reveal moment in the story: Celestine’s origins (or what she can remember of them), and her and Io being adopted siblings! So I had fun with a whole lotta symbolism in this one~

There’s some harsh transitions between the current and the past, first of all! That’s signified by the double spacing, and the carried symbol of dead stars. Rather fitting that it’s happening during a sharp edged sword fight, hmm?

I use a lot of alliteration and short, quick sentences, and even some clear repetition here. That’s to add onto the quickness of the scene and that sharp feeling, but also the beats of the sword blows, since Celestine is having this flashback all while fighting Violet!

The biggest symbolism thing here is the “dead stars”! Stars are incredibly important to sirens, both through their mythological beliefs and their magic! It’s said that the stars are the souls of sirens’ ancestors, watching over and guiding the living, very much still alive. But Celestine’s narration sees them as dead and cold and gone, following her own alienation from the rest of her species (and her general pessimism).

The sky offered a glimpse into the distant past, of what had been, and never would be again.

This line has quite a few different important meanings! I’ll try to explain this in a relatively spoiler-free way, but... let’s just say that Celestine is really tied symbolically to the sky, through her magic, and even her name (which is based on the word Celestial, aka sky stuff). She herself appears the age of 14, when in reality, she is far, far older. So what she looks like now is technically “a glimpse into the distant past”! And “of what had been, and never would be again”? Well... Celestine is definitely no longer the innocent and enthusiastic child she used to be.

The one forgotten by the Ascendants to die in the freezing waters of the Arctic Ocean.

Oh, Celestine. If you only knew how very wrong that is. The Ascendants are the creators or “deities” of the siren race. Floating in the Arctic Ocean is the first memory of Celestine’s, so rather than her being forgotten by them, it’s more like she was the one to forget herself. *nudge nudge wink wink* c;

I wouldn’t lose this.

What won’t you lose, Celestine? This fight? Or your sister and your second attempt at having a family? Seems you’re rather conflicted in your feelings here~

A pearl of blood fell from Violet’s cheek as she lifted her gaze to me, the red staining the gold trim of her uniform, splattering across the navy.

I really heckin’ love this line. First! Pearls are really important in One Siren’s Soul--remember that the Siren’s Soul itself is a pearl?? Yeah. And what if you capitalize the word ‘navy’, here? Celestine’s action of cutting Violet’s cheek will have far reaching consequences across the Royal Navy, maybe? c;

Hatred darkened her stare, absolute, churning like storm clouds behind the hazel.

Storm imagery with Violet is Very Important!! Take notes for later!

But her voice was just as dead as the stars.

I just really love this callback and thought it deserved the highlight~