actually i’ll take a minute and write a little bit about it. warning i might not have the best things to say and it will probably be really rambling...
i made porterminus when i was extremely depressed and in a terrible time in my life. aimless and not feeling good about myself or my work. somehow i made it all in like 2 months? i remember i worked literally every day on it for those two months. i kept an accountability journal. i dont know how i did that. its like i was one of those dwarf fortress dwarves who get possessed by some spirit to make a thing.
i made porterminus because OFF just came out. and everyone was making rpgmaker horror games. it has combat because off had combat. its black and white because OFF was black and white and junji ito manga is usually black and white. its about a girl with long black hair because junji ito manga is mostly about girls with long black hair. she has a baseball bat because OFF. and on and on and on and on....
its not very original or good i think. i could go down a list of every part of the game and say how i think its not very good but just, i think its very mediocre at best and mostly derivative and boring and bad. I honestly dont know why people like it or look at it fondly at all.
but all that said im glad i made it and that its here and i have no intention of deleting it or anything. it was my first fully complete thing after years and years of giving up on projects. while im not proud of it now, back then i was. I’m happy that people like it even if i cannot see the things they see. its an important part of my artistic journey and i’ll never forget it for that.
i’ve toyed with the idea of remaking it or making a sequel and i dont think i ever will or even *could*. I am a different person entirely, to my core, than i was 10 years ago. I have had so many highs and terribly low lows that I could never get into the headspace of julie and donnie again.
thank you for reading and enjoying my stuff. i hope i can make things like this someday again
-edit: i should note that i had some pretty rough news today so im not exactly in the best mood to be thinking about this so take it all with a grain of salt, i suppose.
