Helvetian
Image by Anthony Carpenter, © Kenzer and Co.
[As previously mentioned, Hacklopedia of Beasts 2 remembers that Hackmaster was originally a comedy RPG, but its jokes are of a much drier sort. Like the name of the helvetians. In Hackmaster, they’re the example given of true neutral outsiders, and “Helvetian” is the name of the Gaulish tribe that formerly lived in Switzerland. Get it, ‘cause they’re neutral? If you don’t want to use the name of a real world people for a monster, “pordkin” is the alternative that Hackmaster uses.
I have made my version of the helvetian a monstrous humanoid instead of an outsider, because the flavor text given goes a lot into their birth, child care and diet. Outsiders in Pathfinder don’t have babies (typically) or eat, so it seemed like it made more sense to make them biological. If you wanted to make them proper outsiders, the only mechanical tweak they need is two more skill ranks per HD.]
Helvetian CR 8 N Monstrous Humanoid This burly humanoid appears as an anthropomorphic porcupine, a head taller than a human. It carries a halberd and wears a metallic breastplate. Quills grow long from its back only, coated in dark metal.
Helvetians, called pordkin by outsiders, are porcupine-like humanoids dedicated to the philosophical concept of balance. Most of them venerate the aeons, and they pride themselves on being even tempered and stoic. They often fight for the causes of neutrality, sometimes acting as mercenaries and sometimes on their own volition, in order to maintain the status quo. Young helvetians are often somewhat more boisterous and playful, but they settle down as their adult quills grow in.
These quills are tipped with adamantine, and helvetians are skilled at working with this particular metal. Shed quills are saved and melted down, crafted into weapons or traded for other goods. Helvetians train with halberds and other polearms, typically fighting in formation. Their adamantine defenses protect them from harmful energy, as well as blunting the force of all blows.
Helvetians are omnivores, eating primarily bark, tubers and social insects. Termite colonies are maintained like livestock, fed on waste wood and harvested through fishing them out with a quill. Their settlements, called cantons, are typically underground, with outposts for scouts in trees at their borders. Helvetians are nocturnal and are skilled climbers. They sleep communally in piles, quills facing outward. Personal responsibility is seen as the highest virtue in helvetian society.
