#poppingthebubble

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck and know that you can free yourself but can’t bring yourself to do it?

Like the way out of the hole you’ve dug for yourself is really simple but the thought of actually getting out is frightening.

I have spent the last 23 years of my life living in a nice little bubble. It’s pretty cosy in here. I’m sheltered by my family. I have a job that pays the bills and is relatively easy going and kind of fits with my uni degree. I’m perfectly comfortable and safe and secure. 

But the bubble that is my life has been shrinking. I lost touch with most of my school friends after uni finished. Distance was a factor. But also my own complacency. It takes effort to maintain relationships. I told myself that I was more than happy with my own company. And I am. But it’s nice to have friends. 

I don’t get out much. That lack of friends thing means that I don’t have opportunities to go and do things with other people. And I don’t put myself out there enough to make meaningful connections with new people, and then make new friends.

My job is decent. I’m paid pretty well and it’s close to home (which is always a bonus). I’ve been working here for 2 years now. But I realised a while ago that it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life. It’s not the kind of career that I want. But I persevere, because changing a job - though it’s exciting - is not simple in the current job market. I keep telling myself that it’s not that bad.

Eventually, you get to a point where you stop and take a look at your life like it is right now. For me, I can’t say that I am happy where I am right now. I want to do more, experience more, be more. I want to experience everything life can throw at me. Friendship, love, heartbreak, adventure, learning, excitement, trepidation. I want to go to bed at night and be satisfied that I have done something in the day that - whether good or bad - I can look back on and say “I experienced something new”. 

Life in my bubble has become boring. It’s just get up, go to work, come home. On repeat. Every day. And I now realise that that isn’t living. It’s going through the motions. 

I want to live!

So I’ve decided that’s what I’m going to do. 

I’m going to quit my job and go on an adventure. I’m going to throw myself into the unknown and see what happens! I’m going to push myself right out of my comfort zone and force myself to be more social, do things that scare me and live everyday to the fullest. 

It’s going to be a long journey, and I have no doubt that it will be difficult. Breaking long held habits always is. But I am determined and focused.