Anti has taken you to the hidden realm a few times, trying to acclimate your changing body. It’s not that there is much difference in ways of atmosphere or looks, but the lack of warmth was something that took you by surprise. He assured you that your body would get used to the change in temperature and you would be able to control your body temperature to match the temperature around you. 

Sighing, your eyes watch droplets of rain run down the glass window. You don’t want to leave this little haven of yours. It’s been your dream to stay in the woods, surrounded by the fairy folk and mystic creatures living there. 

Closing your eyes you rest your forehead against the window. You haven’t been open with Anti or Dark, for that matter, over the past three weeks. The pair seemed to be under a lot of stress dealing with things they don’t want to go into detail over, and you didn’t want to worry them.

Even now Anti and Dark sit at the far end of the cabin talking in hushed tones. You know you could make out their conversation if you really wanted to, but as of lately you’ve just been tired. Sleep has become a thing of discomfort. 

“We should take her back and test out her abilities. It’s clear they are getting stronger. Her abilities are going to be quite amazing, Anti. She will be sought after.” You hear Dark say as if he’s right next to you.

“I understand that, Dark.” Anti responds tight lipped. He hates the idea of forcing you to test out your powers before you’re ready mentally. “I won’t force her to explore her abilities before she is ready. As it is I have forced her into a corner just by staying around her.” Anti adds, his tone breaking your heart. You hate how much self loathing Anti holds over this predicament. 

Attempting to lift yourself from the couch to comfort him, you find yourself held motionless on the couch. No part of your body responds to your commands. Even your eyes refuse to lift. Feeling your heart pound in your chest you realize this feeling. Sleep paralysis. 

Worse than feeling helpless is what happens next. The darkness gives way to light, a field of beautiful flowers of all colors greets you. Everything looks so cheerful and peaceful. It always does when you first arrive.

Off to your left you see Ra bouncing from flower to flower in sprite bliss. Your lips curve into a small at his obvious joy. Ra is bigger than before, almost the size of an adolescent child. His hair is pulled back in a high ponytail as he wanders through the field. 

Calling out to him, you can’t hear your own voice, and yet he turns. His smile is warm and welcoming. Lifting from the ground his wings carry him to you, their colors shimmering brilliantly in the sun. His body shrinks the closer he comes until he’s back to his normal size, a little bigger if you’re thinking correctly. Holding your hands out he lands there, sitting down in your palms positively glowing with happiness.

He talks to you, his voice seeming to be muted by some mystical power. You respond, and again you can’t hear your own voice. He lifts from your palm his body language changing, and you know it’s happening. 

Both your heads look up to the sky as a black cloud rolls across the soft blue, blocking out the sun and casting the field into darkness. You shiver at the feeling of dread run up your spine. In front of you Ra grows to that of Anti’s height, his body paced protectively in front of you.

From the black cloud a man with dark tribal like marking across his face and torso descends from the sky. Dream you recognize him, but to you he’s nothing more than a stranger. Your eyes meet and he smiles.

You shiver again. His smile is hollow and filled with malice. Ra turns to you, shouting something you disagree to. His face is contorted in fear and in need to protect you. He pleads, his eyes trying to convince you to flee, to let him protect you. Again you stay still. 

The man across from you does something you don’t catch, but Ra is bleeding. Your hands wrap around him, pulling him with you, trying to protect him. Blood coats your hands as you try to stop the bleeding. Tears blur your vision as the ground next to you explodes, pelting you both with debris. 

Looking at the man you shout something, probably pleading him to leave Ra along, that you’ll do anything to save the sprite you love so dearly. The man does not agree. His cold smile widens to show sharp teeth. Before you can say anything more he rushes you, his intent to kill.

Raising your arms instinctually you create a barrier that knocks him back. Tears burn against your cheek as you stand to your feet to protect Ra.

Roaring with anger the man rams your barrier, cracks appearing with each attack he sends your way. Two more hits to the barrier and it breaks. Feeling the blow against your chest you’re knocked backwards, spinning in the air before tumbling head over heels. Everything hurts, you feel dizzy and weak, yet you get to your feet. You can’t leave Ra alone, you won’t let the man hurt Ra without giving him one hell of a fight. 

Closing your eyes, you feel a surge of power engulf your body. Opening your eyes you run forward, your left arm wipping out unleashing a huge wave of black and purple energy at the man. He tries to block, but the wave knocks him back, blood oozing from the area your wave hit. Over and over you send wave after wave against him, forcing him back from Ra’s weakened form. 

Sprinting forward you get in close to him. Barely missing a strong punch, you counter with a right hook of your own. The power behind your blow sends him flying back. Knowing that you can’t let up, you chase after him, jumping high into the sky. Angling yourself to land on top of him, you bring down your left fist into his stomach. 

You can’t follow up with another blow. The man’s hand grabs you by the neck, squeezing your throat tightly as he slowly gets to his feet. You can see he’s straining to maintain his stance, putting all his power into holding you off the ground. 

His teeth are bared as he says something you believe is filled with hate and malice. Using the last of his strength he throws you into the ground, your breath leaving your body and for a moment everything turns black. 

The moment you draw a breath back into your body you’re greeted with a large spear aim directly at your heart. Fear runs through your body as it inches closer to you in slow motion. You can’t move, your body still trying to recover from the slam.

Before it reaches you a familiar body appears above you. At first you can’t comprehend what happened, but as the warm sticky red liquid soaks through your clothing the full picture comes together.

Your mouth opens in horror at the sight of Ra standing over you with a spear pierced through his gut. Above him the man’s eyes roll into the back of his head. Ra’s hand buried in his chest. Heart racing you scramble to your feet. Shoving your attacker away from Ra before wrapping your arms around Ra you easing him to the ground.

Fat droplets of your tears fall against his face. Your heart breaking at the knowledge he is dying in your arms. Looking at the spear, you grab the staff and burn it down to the tip. Pulling Ra towards your stomach you pull the remainder of the spear free. Blood rushes out, pooling around his back, soaking the ground a deep black red.

Laying him down again you brush his hair from his face before pressing your hand against his abdomen. You can’t heal him perfectly, but you can try to repair some of his body to slow the bleeding. Looking to the sky you scream, calling for someone to help you save Ra.

Tears block your vision as his hand cups your cheek, guiding your face back to his. He’s smiling at you, and it hurts even more. Holding his hand against your cheek you feel his warmth slowly fade from his hand. 

Shaking him you call his name. Doubling over you wrap your arms around Ra’s body holding him tightly to your chest. Tears fall without abandon as your heart wails in pain. Rocking back and forth you sob holding Ra’s head to your chest until his body slowly shrinks back to his sprite form. 

Gingerly you hold his tiny body to your heart again, If only you could have protected him. If only he had never met you. If only he’d stayed in the woods, safe and far away from you.

“RA!!!” You scream finally hearing your voice. Opening your eyes you feel lost for a moment. Weren’t you just in a field of flowers? “Ra? Ra!” You shout looking down at your hands. No blood. 

“Emi, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Anti asks wrapping his arms around you, comforting you.

Looking at him you feel…. Empty. Ra died. He was in your hands. It was so real… but how… Turning in Anti’s arm, you cling to him and sob.

It was a dream. Another horrible nightmare of Ra’s death. It’s not always Ra that dies; sometimes it’s Anti or Dark, other times it’s your mother. There is never any pattern, and it’s always the same scenario each time, yet still, when you wake it feels so real you can’t help but cry for sometime afterwards. 

“Emi, what did you dream about?” Dark asks once you’ve calmed down.

Your tried eyes look to Dark, then to Anti. “I want to see Ra first, before I tell you.” You respond standing from the couch. Anti follow you to the door. 

Once outside you call for Ra. He comes almost instantly, his smile bright and filled with life. Fighting against your tears once more, you let him land in your palm. “Ra, this won’t make sense to you; but I’m glad you are alive.” You tell him.

His head tilts to the side, confused by your words before his smile returns again. “I am glad you are alive too.” He says brightly.