#poor lena

The official report from the Precinct was a masterpiece of bureaucratic void. 

Jack Dekker, Senior Blade Runner. Status: M.I.A. Cause: Unknown. Major Mira Killin, his veteran partner, had vanished alongside him. No struggle. No blood. No encrypted distress signal.

Lena closed her eyes, and the memories rushed back, sharp enough to draw blood. Their wedding had been a small affair. It was sweet, intimate - a fragile island of normalcy in a city that usually chewed people like them up.

And then their two-day honeymoon in Tuscany, still a vivid, agonizing ache sprawled in her chest. She could still feel his hands against the small of her back, the calloused skin beneath his palms, and the way his lips tasted of rosemary and Italian wine.

They hadn't gone to see the sprawling, hyper-modern tourist traps of Rome. They had hidden in a farmhouse, talking in whispers about the future.

"I'm tired, Lena," he had said, staring out at the rolling hills. "The precinct is a meat grinder. I want out. I want to build something. Something real."

They had planned it all. The resignation letter, the quiet move to the coast, the life that wouldn't involve identifying chassis numbers or chasing down runaway replicants.

Now, there was nothing.

Lena leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees, burying her face in her hands. The silence of the apartment was suffocating. Every time a hover-car shrieked past the window, she flinched, expecting the heavy, familiar knock on the door that would mean he was home, bruised but alive.

But there was only the hum of the city- a vast, uncaring machine that devoured people like Jack without even a hiccup in its power grid.

She stood up and walked to the closet, pulling out his spare jacket. It still smelled faintly of ozone and his cologne. She clutched it to her chest, her knuckles turning white. They were supposed to be starting a new life. They were supposed to be growing old in a house with a garden, far away from the constant, flickering glow of New York.

Outside, a gargantuan holographic geisha danced through the smog, her translucent fingers trailing ribbons of light that promised “Authentic Memories: Relive Your First Love. Only 500 Credits.”

While Lillian surrenders what remaining information she still has on Cadmus-- or at least Lane's arm of it-- she also oversees Lena's physical rehabilitation. It takes a few weeks to get Lena steady on her feet, but Lillian is surprisingly patient, uncommanding yet refusing to let Lena quit when the going gets rough.

By the time she's ready to test her strength against Kara, it comes to no surprise of Lillian's that Lena's augmented limbs provide her a strength that rivals Supergirl's. Lena can lift, throw, and crush as well as Kara. Lena comes short on speed and agility, though it's still significantly greater than that of an average human's. Lena can jump as high as Kara (without flight), and Lillian keeps to herself Lex's eventual plan to outfit the lower limbs with rockets.

They discover that Lena's arms both double as plasma cannons. Lena's grip strength is on par with Kara's, and while her fingers are as dextrous as any human's fingers, Lena has to re-learn how to write, how to grip a pen, how to hold anything without touching it.

One day, Kara surprises Lena with a cat that Supergirl rescues from under a bridge. It's ragged and hungry, but purring by the time Kara shows up at the DEO with it in her arms. Kara joins Lena in the cribs-- having moved out of the infirmary weeks before-- and sits next to her on one of the cots.

"When I first came to earth, I had a lot of the same issues you're having now," Kara says softly. "I didn't really learn to improve until I met Streaky."

Kara relaxes her arms, and the cat takes a few sniffs at Lena before it deems her safe. With just a few steps it's purring in Lena's lap, gently kneading its front paws against the metal surface of her thighs.

"And this is Streaky?" Lena asks, eyeing the cat warily. She keeps her hands up and away from the cat, lest she harm it on accident.

Kara chuckles. "Well, no. This guy is old, but not that old. But he could be your Streaky, if you wanted."

Lena can't help but smile as the cat rubs up on her belly, clearly looking for pets. Still, she makes no move to oblige. Not until Kara gently takes her by the hand, and guides Lena's fingers towards the cat.

"Kara..." Lena hesitates.

"Do you trust me?" Kara asks.

Swallowing, Lena nods. Ever so carefully, Kara guides their hands to where the cat can reach. "Just keep your fingers out. Let him rub on you, that's the first step."

Lena watches as the cat does indeed scrape its cheek against her fingers and hand, even giving the tips of her metal fingers an experimental nibble. It seems completely unfazed by the lack of flesh, and only purrs all the harder as it arches its back up into Lena's palm.

"Feel how soft his fur is? That's how gentle you need to be. It'll come in time..."

"No," Lena chokes out.

Kara blinks. She looks at her friend, and finds Lena's eyes fill with tears for the first time since her rescue. As she watches, they spill down Lena's cheeks.

"No," Lena whispers, "I can't feel it."

Of all the things Lex had sought to outfit the augments with, sensation wasn't one of them. Lena's fingers are numb, utterly devoid of feeling.

"Get it away from me!" Lena chokes out.

Kara snatches the cat away without hesitation. In the next instant Lena bolts from the bed and out of the room, and Kara follows her with her hearing as she runs through the hall to where Kara's practice room was. Then, all she can hear is the cacophony of metal beating against concrete as Lena begins to whale on Kara's stack of cement punching blocks.