Oct 30, 2023
M!A Karkat is a glizeri
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.
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M!A Karkat is a glizeri
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.
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me roasting the everloving fuck out of homestuck, as is common in a rather unhealthy blackrom
Headcanon anon here! Here are the kids' rankings if they were in the One Punch Man universe: John-S Class Rose-A Class Dave-B Class Jade-S Class Terezi-B Class Kanaya-A Class Tavros-B Class Karkat-C Class Sollux-S Class Feferi-S Class Eridan-A Class Nepeta-A Class Equius-S Class Meenah-A Class Vriska-A Class Jane-B Class Jake-B Class Roxy-A Class Dirk-S Class Aradia-S Class Gamzee-A Class Damara-B Class Rufioh-A Class
.
One of these day's you'll learn to stop setting yourself up for failure.
I wrote a johnkat thing
Part of integration into human society, Karkat has learned, is learning to keep a much tighter control on emotions than Alternia ever called for. It’s Thursday, the worst fucking day of the week. It’s seven in the morning. Admittedly, plenty of people get up significantly earlier all the time, but Karkat is not one of them, and he isn’t in the mood for comparisons. He shuffles into the bathroom and reaches for his toothpaste. Brushing his teeth is always a priority for him because he hates the way his mouth feels when he wakes up.
He isn’t thinking of much when he leans over to spit in the sink, but when he notices the foam is blue his brain freezes up. Why. Why is it blue, is he dying? He opens his mouth and looks in the mirror. His front fangs are all cobalt blue, and so are his gums. His tongue is blue, but only on the edges, and suddenly he is suspicious. Karkat squeezes a little more toothpaste out of the tube and rubs it between his fingers. His fingers become blue. He narrows his eyes and takes a deep breath. His toothpaste did not have a blue stripe in it before, he is 94% sure of it. John, it’s totally John.
John does these things all the time to Karkat and everyone else he encounters. Karkat takes another, very deep breath. He is calm. He is a calm person. His mind is a lake and he is calm. He takes one more breath, and John pops his head around the bathroom door and grins at him.
“Hi Karkat!”
Karkat explodes.
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Just think about it. Kanaya was like his troll-mom and he would talk about his feelings towards people he liked to her, then he watched her get killed. He also watched Sollux get KO'd and Feferi get killed. Then he talked to sober Gamzee, and said he has never been so scared in his entire life, and so on, more terrifying shit happened to him. nOW WHATEVER YOU DO, DO. NOT. IMAGINE HE REMEMBERED ALL THOSE MOMENTS BEFORE BURNING IN LAVA.
"JOHN: wait, does this really mean vriska's ghost stops existing, or... JOHN: is her ghost just going to keep existing in the dream bubbles because of "reasons"?"
I knew that ship was going to be sunk
I mean, really literally the only ships that weren't sunk were KanayaxRose (and then died with only minutes of difference) and RoxyxJohn (And in that case we haven't passed from the ship-teasing stage yet....)
DavexKarkat doesn't count because Caliborn is a horrible Being too and he doesn't know the difference between manga and yaoi manga
"JOHN: and if i never ended up meeting her ghost... JOHN: i guess i never stuck my hand in the house thing to get the retcon powers in the first place, so how... JOHN: god damn it."
I had considered all that about Vriska and John too...
But then who'll go to get Roxy and the sprites If Jaspersprite wasn't the only one who survived?? D:
Yeah John! You tell 'em!
So we cannot see what happenned, sadly, but we can solve--
...
John what are you doing
John stop
No really, STOP.
I understand you and all, but they don't and...
Also you shouldn't tell that to Kanaya, she was doing it for free anyways... too bad Rose's addiction and her own issues came up ):