Ahh thank you for the great prompt, I hope you like this! It wound up pretty fluffy and full of feels but hopefully that’s a good thing, haha.

———-

“I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“Eh?” Osomatsu turned to face Choromatsu, who was sitting in the seat next to his in the lobby of the office building. All around them were people dressed in neatly-ironed suits and talking into fancy-looking cell phones, which left Osomatsu feeling pretty damn out-of-place in his hoodie and jeans. But thoughts about what he was wearing fled his mind when he caught sight of Choromatsu’s face. “Are you okay? You can’t breathe?”

“N-no. Not really…” Choromatsu’s chest rose and fell rapidly, his breaths ragged and unsteady. His face was ghostly pale, a drop of sweat trickling down his temple. He clutched a hand to his chest, and Osomatsu noticed then that his hand was trembling. “It f-feels like my lungs are being crushed…i-is it just me or does it feel too hot in here? I’m starting to suffocate…”

Osomatsu picked up quickly on what was happening, and jumped immediately into action. He stood up, and took Choromatsu by the arm, helping him rise shakily to his feet. “Come on, bro. Let’s go outside, get some fresh air.”

“B-but my interview…” Choromatsu’s breath hitched, his voice weak and gasping as he struggled desperately for oxygen. “I need to stay…”

“Bud, you’re not gonna do so great in an interview if you pass out during it,” Osomatsu stated, tugging gently at Choromatsu’s arm. Stiffly, Choromatsu followed, his knees locking as he tried to walk. They garnered a few strange, possibly demeaning looks from a few of the people there, but Osomatsu pointedly ignored them as he guided his younger brother to the exit.

Screw them, if they’re gonna act like that. Haven’t they ever seen an anxiety attack before?

Osomatsu didn’t slow down until they were outside. Fortunately it was a sunny day out, the sky clear and the air cool and mild. Just what Choromatsu needed.

“Okay, here we go.” Osomatsu steered Choromatsu toward a bench pressed against the front of the building, and Choromatsu sat down heavily, his breathing even more shallow and frantic at this point. Osomatsu was beginning to worry a little himself now, but told himself to calm down and focus. This wasn’t anything they hadn’t already dealt with before, and Choromatsu needed him to take charge.

He knelt down so he was level with Choromatsu, and placed his hands on his brother’s shoulders. “Okay, Choro, I know this is scary. But you’re going to be fine, I promise. You’ve been fine all the other times, haven’t you?”

Wordlessly, Choromatsu managed to nod.

“So trust me this time too. I’m gonna help you, okay? Just follow my lead, you’re gonna be okay.” Osomatsu kept his voice as gentle and soothing as possible, knowing it had helped him before.

Again Choromatsu offered a tiny nod, his eyes portraying trust. Or at least as much as he could muster in the throes of an attack.

“Alright, do exactly as I do. Breathe in–” Osomatsu drew in a deep breath through his nose, and watched to make sure Choromatsu was doing the same. He held it for three seconds before exhaling slowly through his mouth. “–and out.

Choromatsu let his breath go, a little too quickly, almost sputtering as he did so.

“And again,” Osomatsu instructed, repeating the steps. “In…” –wait three seconds– “…and then out. Slowly, no rushing.”

Choromatsu tried again, this time managing to take it a little more slowly, although his breath still wavered as he let it go.

“Good, you’re doing great, Choro,” Osomatsu encouraged. “Just keep at it, be mindful of your breathing…in, and then out again. Just like that.”

Osomatsu kept demonstrating for him, because it seemed to help Choromatsu settle into a rhythm. Choromatsu breathed in deeply and then exhaled, the tense muscles in his shoulders loosening some under Osomatsu’s firm grip. It took a few tries, but eventually Choromatsu seemed able to breathe stably on his own again.

“There…feeling a little better?” Osomatsu asked.

“Y-yeah,” Choromatsu answered weakly, breathing out one last time. He was still a little shaky, but at least he wasn’t gasping for air anymore. “…Thank you, Osomatsu.”

“Yeah, of course. I wasn’t about to just like, leave you to pass out or anything.” Osomatsu dropped onto the bench beside his brother, studying him closely with his eyebrows knit in concern. “You sure you’re okay? You still look a little pale.”

“I’m fine…just completely mortified.” Choromatsu sighed.

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed, you know. It’s not like you can control having anxiety,” Osomatsu pointed out. “It’s just something that happens.”

“I know, but it’s harder to convince myself of that than you might think.” Choromatsu dropped his gaze, wringing his hands in his lap. “It’s just…if I can’t get through even waiting for a job interview without panicking, how am I ever going to get hired anywhere? I don’t want to keep failing like this…”

“Choro, you are not a failure. I don’t even wanna hear you say that,” Osomatsu stated intensely, causing Choromatsu to glance up at him in surprise. “Yeah, sure, maybe these kinds of things are a struggle for you, but the thing is you keep trying. That’s what matters, not how well you do. You just need to take your time and make sure you do whatever you can to feel comfortable.”

“Maybe…I wish I could stay calm, but for some reason I just…I can’t. Whenever I even think of being in an interview, being asked all these questions and wanting to answer them all right, because I know I’ll look stupid and not get the job if I don’t…” He clenched his hands unintentionally into fists, forcing himself to take another deep breath.

“Hey, it’s okay…just relax.” Osomatsu placed a hand reassuringly on Choromatsu’s back. “That’s enough to freak anyone out, so don’t worry so much about that. You just have to work a little harder at staying calm, that’s all. You’ve gotten so much better at it lately. And you know what? One day you will nail that interview and get the job you want. I just know it, little bro.”

“I hope you’re right…”

“Of course I’m right! Don’t doubt your Nii-san, I know what I’m talking about.” Osomatsu nudged Choromatsu in the arm and grinned, and Choromatsu managed a small smile in return. “So what do you think? Are you up for going through with this interview, or do you feel like going home?”

“I think…I want to go through with it. Like you said, even if I don’t do well, at least I tried,” Choromatsu replied with determination. “And I won’t stop trying, either.”

“That’s more like it!” Osomatsu extended a hand toward Choromatsu, and pulled him back up to his feet. “Who knows? Today could be your lucky day!”

“Don’t count on it…but thank you. I’m glad you were here today,” Choromatsu said sincerely.

“No sweat, Choro. C’mon, let’s go back in.”

@chochomatsu I’M LATE BUT THANKS FOR THE CANDY, CHOROMATSU-NIISAN!!! =D

メリ—クリスマス!!

what really gets to me that this is the first time that choromatsu shows sadness about his living style - being a NEET, failing to find consistent jobs, etc.

"choromatsu rising" from episode 19 put his high self-image to light, but that skit didn't show how choromatsu really FEELS about himself. from episode 19 onwards, his "responsible sibling" facade cracks (especially in the "godmatsu" skit)

what's underneath it all is somebody who doesn't see any redeemable or particularly good traits in himself and has long given up on trying to change things after attempt and attempt which brings his self-esteem even lower. he is aware of how shitty he is but has never faced it until now