I realized that I’ve been saying this often recently but the truth is, I do care. I’ve been deceiving myself, tricking myself into believing that my opinion doesn’t matter, that what I feel and believe has no bearing on the outcome of a situation.
What am I thinking? Be it conscious or unconscious, I am doing myself a disservice. My opinion does matter. What I think, feel, believe is of importance.
It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I’m too scared to care. I can’t seem to mentally picture myself in that position anymore. It seems far and away, like a half-remembered dream but I have to reach for it. It is a goal I ultimately strive for. It is part of my “this is what my perfect life is going to be like” story. Someday, it’s going to become reality.
And hopefully that reality is a dream and not a nightmare.