#polyam class 1a

Now he was just attempting to avoid contact with his peers exiting their class as he slowly packed his bag up. Only his phone and his latest notebook remained on the desk now. A pen twirled in his right hand, his left sleeve pulled down to look between his arm and his phone. He bit lightly on the end of the pen, eyes flitting over his arm as he looked for blank skin to write on. Someone had called for “lights out” and they all had to respond.

”Of course he was going to say something,” Izuku thought to himself once some space was made. Someone had wiped away their initials. He pushed his pen onto his skin to write on his forearm his initials to the question marks that began to show up at his own slow response. ”That wouldn’t just be something he left alone.”

Izuku slowly packed up the remaining items, his pen being tucked behind an ear. He looked over the articles of the fight from this morning on his phone properly now. A swirl of curiosity or concern poked him as he entranced himself in his plans to analyze this morning’s fight tonight. Though, since he was more focused on his phone, the three teens approaching his desk were unseen until his notebook was taken out of his hands as he tried to pack up his belongings.

“Hey!” he panicked, more to himself as he looked up from his bag. He flinched when he saw that it was Katsuki, as well as two of their classmates, in front of him. Katsuki held his notebook up, the cover facing the two standing behind him. His hands fell back to his desk, pen twitching in his hand. His heart jumped to his throat as he looked between the ash-blond and his notebook.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, Deku, but we’re not done,” Katsuki said, a scowl settled over his face. The scowl matched the blinding anger fixed into their bond, but there rested confusion and concern in the distance. They both ignored the rising emotions. Katsuki was waving the notebook back and forth, not bothering to look at the cover as he stood over the green-haired teen.

“Whatcha got? His diary?” one of their classmates asked. Their attention was on the little notebook the ash-blond held still for them to read, though the ash-blond kept his glare pointed at him. The other two leaned closer to read the cover. Katsuki didn’t move as their classmate spoke behind them, the words almost echoing disbelief in their tone, as well as amusement. “Huh? Don’t tell me you’re taking notes on how to be a hero!”

The two were slow to laugh but once it began, they seemed eager to laugh at him. A mean, entirely unbelieving, tone after what they had read. Izuku’s ears burned as he listened. He ducked into himself, eyes squeezed shut briefly before he looked up. Red eyes captured him when he glanced between the two laughing and his notebook. Anger continued to simmer just under their bond, freezing him in place as he stared back at the blond. His voice clogged up in his throat as he tried to find the words to ask for his notebook back.

“That’s pathetic!” the one continued, arms wrapping around his waist as he laughed.

“He’s delusional!” the other added, small bouts of laughter dripping from his lips.

“Haha, real funny guys!” Izuku’s voice broke as he tried to laugh along, though his attempt was more weak and desperate. His emerald eyes broke line of sight from Katsuki’s and he stood from his desk. His eyes remained on his notebook. Katsuki was still holding the papers  up, his grip careless as he crinkled one of the four corners. “Now– now give it back!”

He looked into ruby eyes as he slowly, cautiously, held a hand out towards the ash-blond. His hands shook as their eyes remained locked. A burning smell began to creep up over the pages and his eyes moved to his notebook. Sparks ignited from both of the ash-blond’s hands as he crinkled the notebook before blowing the bound book up. Izuku could only stare as his notebook was burned up before it was tossed out the open window.

“That’s so mean,” he uttered weakly, hands following where the ash-blond had thrown the book. He’d have to go out back and look for it now. He hoped that no one else would find it and take it before he got there. The last thing he wanted was to try and recreate everything he had already written. He looked back at Katsuki as the blond started to talk and something soothed over their bond.

“Most first-string heroes show potential early on. Most people look at them and know they’re destined for greatness,” Katsuki said. Though the chattering of their soulmates had been present earlier and while he was in his dower mood, Katsuki’s was the only thing he could sense now. They were so, so close, the only thing he could feel was the calm, the pride, radiating from the ash-blond in front of him.  “When I’m the only student from this garbage junior high to get into Yuuei, people will start talking about me like that. They’ll realize I’m legit. The next big thing.”

The ash-blond looked away from him. His face was still serene, but a smile was forming while he talked about his future. Like he knew for certain that the events he was speaking of would play out. Izuku knew his plans were almost set in stone.

“That’s not ego talking, I just know I’m good,” Katsuki continued. He turned to look at Izuku, ruby eyes hard set on the green-haired teen. He grabbed the other teen in front of him by the shoulder, his hand smoldering with the effects of his quirk. “Here’s a little word of advice, nerd, don’t even think of applying! Or else.”

Izuku could only stare at his soulmate, mouth agape as the burning singed his clothes. The sinister smile further creeped onto Katsuki’s face. He couldn’t see anything else. Even as the ash-blond let him go and left him standing in front of the mirror. The other teens slowly moved around him to follow after the blond.

“That’s just sad,” the second teen spoke, eyes remaining on the shivering teen. He continued with a small shrug, “I thought you at least had some fight in you.”

“He finally gets it, he’ll never be a hero,” the first added, a grin still gracing his features. He turned around to face the back of the ash-blond they were following out of the school. “Better to find out now instead of later, I guess.”

Wind slowly breezed through the open window. The teens outside were chattering on and on and leaving the schoolyard now. Izuku stood by his desk, three other teens stopping at the doorway of their classroom. Izuku was shaking, attempting to gather his thoughts, his belongings, and ignore how Katsuki had thrown him around after he’d heard Izuku was still applying to get into Yuuei. He pushed away the wavering feelings that came from others now as he steadily tried to compose himself. Though he paused at the small tick of wavering emotions. Katsuki stood in the doorway. Izuku couldn’t tell what was going on with the ash-blond but he turned his head to look at Katsuki. It almost felt like... Confusion? He had never felt this before, but a sinking feel had dug its retched claws into their bond.

“You know, if you really wanna be a hero that badly, there actually might be another way,” Katsuki said. There was definitely peace but it was tinged with another emotion, voiding the bond from anything and anyone else at that moment. Peace was rarely a good thing with Katsuki, Izuku had found out. Peace meant he had thought over his words, thought over how they would effectively put down someone else. He hadn’t felt that sort of peace in a couple of years, especially with being on the receiving end of those thoughts. He tensed himself up, trying to prepare for what would be thrown at him. “Just pray you’ll be born with a quirk in your next life and take a swan dive off the roof of the building!”

Izuku stared at the ash-blond, shock and anger flooding his side at the words. It was strange, feeling this emotion coming from his own body as his face scrunched up, lips curled as he was about to respond to the ash-blond. He didn’t get far as small starbursts escaped from Katsuki’s hand, his own typical scowl settled on his face. And all that anger fled from him.

“Something wrong?” Katsuki growled at him, glare set hard over his eyes.

Izuku just fell back from his childhood friend and only known soulmate. Izuku laid back on the ground, looking up at them with shock as they turned towards the door. The ash-blond and their peers left quickly after that, no comment to how the green-haired teen remained on the floor, stunned at those words. They didn’t seem real. It wasn’t real. He refused to believe that Katsuki had said them, but there was no denying it as something heavy, something awful, settled down through a bond. It was strange, feeling this from Katsuki, but it proved it happened. Any hope he had for them was slowly drowning itself into disbelief as he repeated those words to himself over and over and over again. He didn’t know what to make of any of this. This was new territory for everything Katsuki had put him through, even if it was close to a one-off situation.

And even though it wasn’t his, this burdening feeling lingered with an air of false bravado and sharp smiles. It dug itself deep down into his gut, staying with him as gentle concern bubbled up underneath. It slowly, oh-so slowly, pushed out the guilt as they poked him with their concern. It still wasn’t enough to prevent him from scratching his arms, red lines hidden under his school uniform. A habit that appeared while trying to understand what was happening with the ash-blond. And their soulmates were trying to figure out what was happening too. 

Izuku slowly gathered himself, moving in a crawl towards his backpack still seated on his desktop. He closed the bag up, notebook still outside and his phone, as well as his pen, slipped into the pocket of his uniform. He knew he’d have to go out back to find his lost notebook, only hoping that no one had taken it or even damaged it more. As he pulled his backpack on, he caught glimpses of writing in different scribbles and colors covering his forearms. He stared at all the colors, trying to make sense of what to say to all of the worried, hurried scribbles.

“You need to leave, kid,” came a voice at the classroom door, knuckles rapping on the doorframe sharply. It startled Izuku, just enough to get him to nod in response and stand on shaky legs. He glanced out the window his notebook had flown out of, the tapping of the adult's foot the only thing telling him he needed to leave quickly. He only gave the teacher a small, barely noticeable nod and bow as he left.

Izuku stuffed his hands into his pocket, feeling out for the pen. He uncapped it as he made it to the stairs and started tapping the fine-tipped pen against his open palm. Soft footsteps echoed around the halls as he left out the back entrance. He had begun to slow his ever-beating heart as he watched more words slowly appear along his hands and wrists. He read a few more, turning his hands over to finish each message.

What happened? Everyone sound off -SeH

Izuku knew he’d have to respond as well after seeing all of the responding initials and short answers of ‘idk’s with a small tug up on his sleeves. Many of them were theorizing already about who it might pertain to. KE and AM were already ruled out as they were together. There were a few others that hadn’t responded yet. Most likely, they were without a pen currently, that being. He knew he’d have to respond soon as well, his only reason not to was to grab his notebook, then leave to be able to hide out at home. His mind wandered as he scowled at the ground, looking between and under and around everything outside the classroom window.

”That idiot. You can’t go around telling people to kill themselves,” he thought, running a hand through his hair as he stopped by a trash can. His gaze flickered upwards to check the window was around this corner before his trail of thought continued, ”what if I really jumped? What would he do then?”

He turned himself around, pausing when his eyes were drawn to the koi pond. He groaned to himself when he saw the koi nibbling at corners as if it were their food. He stood there, hands clenched at his sides as he watched the fish each biting at it, attempting to chew it into smaller pieces.

“That’s enough, give it back,” he spoke only to himself as he reached into the pond to take his soaking notebook back. The koi swam off as it was pulled out of the water and he started to look it over. He couldn’t get himself to turn to the next page as he stared at the words written on the front cover. The sounds of laughter filled his mind. His mind wouldn’t allow the laughter to leave.

”Stupid jerk,” he thought pitifully. He slowly opened the notebook. The cover seemed to take most of the explosion, only a few other first pages being burned around the edges. The worst was the water damage throughout the back pages. They had soaked up the most, being left on the surface. Only his newest page was the most affected by this trip. He’d be able to properly dry this more once he got home. He just sighed now, turning to walk himself away from the school. He kept his notebook pressed to his side as he started to read over more scribbles from his soulmates, at least the ones that had been without pens. But the few answering the call left him with a lot more questions.

AM thinks with the two feelings, one of them are the ones that won’t communicate with us -KE

It was angry before this too so I believe they are correct. -IT

YM, KK, YI, SI, and MI haven’t responded yet. You guys, sound off. -SeH

Izuku kept his pace slow as he moved his sleeve more to read the responses. His nail scratched his skin as the fabric was drawn tight around his forearm. His eyes focused on the responses coming from below the demand. 

I am praying busy, I apologize for my slow response. -SI

It wasn’t with me, I’m working right now. I’ll check in again later -KK

I’m only with my parents. I can’t stay long either, but I’ll be back to check in again later tonight as well. -YM

Sorry, I didn’t have a pen on me, I just finished training! -YI

MI is left then. You alright there, green? - SHi

Izuku sighed at the sight of his initials. He didn’t want to explain, not quite wanting to relive and retell the experience and possibly get Katsuki on his case if the ash-blond happened to see his scribbles, though he knew Katsuki’s arms were bandaged. So Izuku instead looked at his soaked notebook. He carefully flipped through all of the pages again, wanting to avoid answering for as long as possible. But he knew all of the damage. Knew he could take care of it all properly at home. Knew that he couldn’t put this off any longer without risking a mass panic that would travel through all of them. He sighed, his hand holding his pen shaking. His notebook was pressed to his chest as he looked over all of the new scribbles. His heart tugged on itself at the sight of all the frantic scribbles up and down where the questions and theories had been.

MI, what happened? Are you and angry alright? -KD

Are you hurt? Are both of you hurt? -SM

They could still be busy, give them a moment -MS

I’ll fly around to you. Which area do you live in -HM

KE is getting really worried. Please respond, MI - AM

Izuku pressed the tip of his pen to his skin. The messages that had built up slowly started to stop as he held the pen still. A dot would be there for them to see. He didn’t know what exactly to write. He decided to doodle a few stray lines to hopefully help ease them just enough to give him some room. Give him some more time.

His mind wandered to the event in the classroom, the sinking, heavy feeling still caught in the confines of his chest. All of it was brought to him by Katsuki. That feeling still felt as if it was sitting with him currently. It would likely die down later, but it was still so strange. It wasn’t often Katsuki’s emotions could be oh-so clear to the rest of them, to him even, and this– this guilt was the first emotion in a long time that was anything other than anger or rage. It seemed out of place for the boy, even with how his world views were, as well as society’s views.

Maybe it was time to tell the rest of them as well now. They should know too. They should get to decide if they even wanted him before they get to meet face to face.

If this was the end, he’d at least know now. He’d be able to keep believing in himself. Keep smiling for himself. Izuku would make it where he wanted without anyone else’s support or thoughts if that was the way it had to be. The way it had been since that day. He turned his pen to his skin, light lines dipping with each curve as he wrote.

I'm okay. Just got spooked by something. And it’s made me rethink something that I really should have shared with all of you by now. -MI

He left those words to sink into his skin. His pen lifted just enough to get away from the words, pressing back down to continue his doodles. Most were outlines of the hero costumes he saw, but they were surrounded in continuous explosions. He tried not to take up too much skin as he didn’t have anything to wipe away all of the drawings.

Dark blue invaded his drawing, taking him to a paragraph sitting below his answer.

MI, we all agreed with you that we would hold off on telling each other our full names since we wouldn’t want anyone posing as each other. You don’t have to tell us now. We can all wait. It might be preferable since I know we have all talked about attempting to get into a heroics course. -IT

A small smile made its way onto Izuku’s face. Even though they had majorly assumed what he had to tell them, he was glad they at least remembered why they were using initials, hair, and eye color in the first place. Izuku, along with quite a few of the others, had heard one too many stories about pro-heroes, sidekicks, aspiring pro-heroes, and vigilantes and their soulmates being kidnapped because villains had known too much. Too much had been given to the public, or the heroic force had carelessly used their loved ones name in public. Since they all wanted to be pros or come from families of pro-heroes, he thought it would be best for them to wait to tell each other their names in-person.

Izuku took his pen away from his skin. He slipped onto the first backstreet he could take home. He wanted to avoid Katsuki in case he saw any of the scribbles and writings, as improbable as it was.

No, it’s not my name, but thank you for the reminder. It’s something else, something my friend told me after

Izuku paused as “friend” was scribbled over in a deep violet color. A soft shade of pink echoed the sentiment, covering the edges of the word until it was almost gone. A purple arrow brought him to fresh skin, purple words slowly appearing as that soulmate wrote.

That childhood “friend” you’re always talking about? -SHi

A long sigh escaped from the green-haired teen. He knew how they felt about Katsuki. It was difficult to try and plead the ash-blond’s case without mentioning he was another soulmate to them. That he was the one they deemed “angry”. Though they thought all that anger and rage was their soulmate being angry at what was happening to him, not at him. All they knew was that he had said many, many not-so-terribly amazing things to or about him in the past. At some point, Katsuki was likely to come write to them as well, but, now, all of his writing helped him feel like he wasn’t too isolated from his peers. 

Yeah, him -MI

What has he said to you this time? -TF

Izuku took in a small breath, preparing for what he was going to explain. He watched as a few of their messages began to wash away slowly, just faded lines in the background to give him more room to write. To explain. He tensed up as he pressed his pen to his skin. The sinking feeling returned, but it wasn’t guilt and it wasn’t from Katsuki. It was him, with the sinking fear that he was going to lose everyone important to him again. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to tell them, his pen scribbling lightly onto his skin. His words were illegible, not that he was writing something anyway. 

A warm maroon color slowly weaved around his pen, the black ink sinking into their writing. His panic leveled carefully at the sight of the color. They were typically the one to calm down everyone, or attempt to reach out first from their bond.

You don’t have to tell us now, if this is something you’ve kept from us for a while, then you shouldn’t rush yourself to tell us -YM

Izuku looked around his surroundings once before slipping slowly into an alleyway far from the school. His pen touched his skin, once again leaving a dark blot where he started as he thought about where he should start. There was so much to unpack, to tell all of them, even aside from his conversation with Katsuki. He sighed softly to himself and decided to start there. At least if they didn’t want to speak to him anymore, he would be able to get this out just once to anyone else. 

To take a swan dive off the roof and pray I get a quirk in my next life

He didn’t initial his message this time. Instead, he pulled down his sleeve. He didn’t want to see what he’d get in response to that. He’d hopefully have to explain little about his quirklessness since it was all right there in his message. He just worried about the responses now. He would wait to see them until he got home, despite wanting to know what they were writing. But there at home, he could bury himself in his room without much explanation to his mother. He could hide and fix his uniform before school tomorrow. He could rewrite his notes and avoid any more questions, or even the hate they could throw at him. While he didn’t want to think that this would go badly, he needed to prepare himself for the worst possible case. He left towards home, but his plans didn't go how he wanted them to as messages slowly started appearing up on his wrists. Space had, apparently, run out on their forearms. Or they were restless and demanding answers now. Izuku only tried to glance at them, but tried not to read them. But the more that came up, the more he couldn’t ignore the frantic scribbling again as they entirely covered his hands. His eyes could leave as he pieced together at writing on the back of his hand.

did what?! -JK

What does he mean, pray for a quirk in the next life? -SM

When I get my hands on this fucking “friend”, I’m gonna throttle them -AM

Izuku stared at the writing, scratching the inside of his palm where more questions and vague threats were written. He looked around him again, standing close to an entryway of a shadowed alley with his back to the long strait of endless walls. He thought carefully for a moment before pressing his pen to skin again and underlining the word “quirk” slowly, pausing before each pass under the word. He did as SHi did in leading him to a new area of skin earlier. He began to write. Though, he barely got far enough to spell out the second word.

He didn’t hear the creature slipping out of the sewers behind him. He left himself defenseless.

“You’ll make a perfect skinsuit for me to hide in, kid,” the villain croaked out, trapping his arms. His pen was lost between his body and the villain’s fluid. His breath caught up in the attack. Izuku couldn’t free himself. “Don’t worry, I’m just taking over your body. It’ll be easier for both of us if you don’t fight back. It’ll only hurt for a minute. You’ll feel better soon.”

Murky, thick liquid almost fully encased Izuku. He couldn’t /breathe/. His nose, his mouth, all filled with sludge this villain was attempting to force into him. Into his body. He couldn’t call for help, couldn’t even write with his pen clattering onto the ground. All he could see left from his writing was a bold, dark line crossing his forearm. His soulmates wrote surrounding it, covering it as they no doubt felt the fear dropping as lack of oxygen was getting to him. He attempted to scratch at the liquid, panic starting to take him tight as he felt the concern and panic from his soulmates rise up as well. The villain encasing him had said something, but he couldn’t hear him. His thoughts were all running wild. His legs kicked out under him, his body trying to find the air it was missing. But all of his escapes were halted as more of the sludge enclosed around him. His breath staggered, unable to suck in air with his mouth and nose entirely covered.  His vision grew fuzzy, nausea bubbling with each panicked feeling from his soulmates. His limbs refused to move any more, doing nothing but patting the fluid that held him trapped.

“I– I think I’m dying,” he thought to himself. His nail tried to dig into the body surrounding him, but it did nothing. Tears bubbled forward at the thought, his eyes taken to his burnt notebook. To his forearm, where colors of his soulmates danced and overlapped. He couldn’t read what they were saying anymore.  “No way… This can’t be the end. I can’t die, I can’t die, not yet.”

His mind screamed for help. His lungs tried to heave around the sludge starting to fill them. His vision slowly became shrouded with that same sludge, and his eyes were too weak to stay open. He thought he heard a distant clang in the alley. He didn’t have much time to think as he ceased to be able to. 

This was the end, wasn’t it?

* * *

That's the first chapter! If you're here from the rework on AO3, this chapter, as well as 2-5, will be updated and posted when I post chapter 6.

If you're not from AO3, there will be more! Stick around! This tag 'quirkless or not' will be the one to find it through!

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