Apr 21, 2025
Thursday sighs and frowns. "Nobody wants to learn about the Infinite Toilet Dimension?"
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Thursday sighs and frowns. "Nobody wants to learn about the Infinite Toilet Dimension?"
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"How could my memory about being an employee of the Office be faulty? I clearly remember working here! Not at this specific Office, but at the one I came from. You all weren't there, so what would you know, huh? It's like Stanley and the bucket, and that voice that sounded like hers. She wasn't there then either, so what would she have known?"
The Author: (looks at the current results of the second poll)
"Yes! One of the results is pulling ahead! Now we know for sure that one of the results is the superior result! Surely, once this poll concludes, all those who voted for the losing result will feel foolish for selecting the inferior option. They might even go so far as to rethink every decision they've ever made in their entire life. If only they had thought things through with a little more precision. Hhhhh. Quite sad, really. Perhaps the losers should have played my game a little more - then they might have had a better understanding of how to make better choices. I've got it! The losers will be treated to an hour-long educational video on how to make more effective choices on Tumblr polls. Surely that will help them feel better about the judgments they receive for failing at selecting choices on polls.
What do you think, Stanley?"
I think it's a great idea!
Sounds like a bunch of rubbish to me.
"A tie? A bloody tie? Why am I not surprised? It always comes to this. Any time there's a poll or a survey, we always end up somewhere in the middle. Neither on top nor on the bottom. Always right there in the middle. Just like you, Stanley. Painfully... in... the middle, like the most average thing anyone could possibly think of. Pulling averages no matter which way you're sliced. Hmmph. I suppose it was too much to ask for two such incredible ideas for people to have strong opinions on them one way or another. Perhaps that's been the problem all along, hasn't it, Stanley? We've presented our audience with too many amazing choices, it's simply too difficult for them to choose. We may very well have to start choosing for them. I realize that negates the whole purpose of a poll and a game where you make choices, but when everything starts settling down in the middle, the point becomes moot anyway, doesn't it, Stanley? Stanley? Stanley, are you listening to me? Stanley, are you- sleeping?! Rghghghfhfghf! Well! That's just bloody fine then! We'll just have to wait the remainder of this three days to see what the people have to say about what our official titles shall be. Enjoy your dreams, Stanley. I do hope they're better than this painfully average mess we have going on here."
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"No, no, everybody, you're right, you're right, Doom is better at giving the Kubrick Stare...... and it's dreadfully hot."
Doom: (looks at the poll of people voting whether they think she is autistic or not; she sees the current results)
Doom: ....Okay.
Doom: (goes back to sorting her shiny rocks again in some order that only makes sense to her)
"Hhhhh... It never fails. People love to see us suffer. You sickos..."