lancandy28Â replied to your post âcan y'all maybe send me your opinion on mingjue? i'm curiousâ
I love da ge! He just didnt get as much screentime but i headcanon he's as smart as he is fierce, and he loves his younger brother and he died way too early uwu :( i want to marry nie mingjue cos i want to be a BAMF nie woman!
I wouldâve loved more screentime for him :( I think heâs very smart too! Huaisang is like the... nature kind of smart I guess, understanding nature and art, living things, Mingjue is smart in a strategic, logical way and maybe even in a kinesthetic way, knowing his body and how to train it well. Imagine how powerful they could have been had they just... combined their smarts sigh!Â
He loves Huaisang so damn much and I will never get over it! He really got a half brother and said this child is now the most important thing in my entire life and i will protect it with all i have... get you a brother like that i love him so damn much :(
icb Iâve seen Cao Yuchen complain about Jin Zixuan dying too early on in the drama but Wang Yizhou has never mentioned anything about Nie Mingjue dying too early as far as I know... ok he never does interviews or vlogs but still The things Iâd do for more Mingjue... I just want to know more about him! Just those few glimpses in the drama and then fatal journey was not enough! Give me more Nie bros!!
I wanna be a Nie lady too!! I get u!! But Iâd be happy to just be Mingjueâs personal bodyguard. I may be small but Iâm fierce, no touching my man!!
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Alexander Hamilton was lying down on his hard wooden floor, legs up against the brick wall of his home. The fireside was blazing bright, but he wasnât feeling any of its warmth. How could he when he had the unshakable knowledge that everyone else in the New York colony was feeling the warmth of a family, probably with whom to drink toasts to the Revolution, and he was reduced to dealing with his angry ache over the British army in unwanted solitude? He wistfully looked up at his fireplace mantle, inhaling deeply and seriously considering sending up a prayer to his mother. That is, if the afterlife allowed such things.
He heard a knock at the door. Who could it have been at this ungodly hour? Figuring it was some seemingly unsilenceable British crier making their Christmastide rounds, he reluctantly got up to answer the door, all the while mentally preparing some bitterly harsh words to say. His jaw nearly dropped when he saw who he could swear was Elizabeth Schuyler, except bundled in a mountain of scarves, shawls, and classy hats that only the extremely wealthy could even hope to buy. And holding some kind of box. âE-Eliza?â He stammered in surprise that she would come out to see him. âWhat are you doing here?â
Eliza lowered a scarf that was covering her blue lips. âI⌠umm⌠had something for you. Iâm so sorry itâs late, Father would never have approved if he knew I was giving gifts to any men besides him and my brothers.â She handed Alexander the box. âBut⌠Iâll leave now.â She started to turn around and walk away.
Alexander watched her walk away, looking down at the big green and red box he had just been given and then at the one who had given it to him. âB-Betsey, wait,â he called out to her. âPlease⌠stay with me. Itâs dreadfully miserable here by myself.â He bit his lip. Now he just sounded vulnerable, but he hoped it would get her inside his home. After all, it was true that he could use some companionship. What better companionship could he get than that of the woman he loved?
Eliza stopped to consider the fact that everyone in her home, even the servants, were all asleep. Surely they wouldnât mind if she stayed behind at the house of George Washingtonâs secretary for a little while. Especially when he needed someone the most. âAlright, alright,â she turned around and replied, pretending staying with him was such a big burden on her schedule. âIâll stay with you until you fall asleep.â She dashed into Alexanderâs house, delirious with excitement to see him open her present.
They sat together face-to-face in front of the fire. Alexanderâs eyes glowed as he watched the box just sitting there, hands tingling with uncontrollable glee. âWell,â Eliza teased, âI donât have all year! Open it already!â
He gulped. âWill you open it with me, then? This is the first present Iâve ever gotten from anyone, and I want to share it with you."Â
Eliza looked back down at the box, trying not to show that she was blushing aggressively. She looked back up at Alexander. "I donât see why not,â she quipped playfully. âReady?â
Alexander nodded vigorously and crudely attempted to untie the green bow that was holding all the shopping paper together. Eliza couldnât fight back giggles, no matter how hard she tried. She took his hands, which were still fiddling with the bow, and guided them through untying the bow in a⌠neater fashion. âThere you go.â She said, chuckling at how she just helped one of the Continental Armyâs most venerated troops accomplish such a simple task like untying a bow.
Alexander couldnât help but chuckle a little as well at his own clumsiness. He peered inside the box. âA wreath!â His eyes lit up brighter than the fire itself as he held it up. He scanned the wall for a place to put it. âI canât wait to hang this⌠somewhere.â
âYou donât have to hang it anywhere,â Eliza replied, taking the wreath from him, âbut here!â She placed it on his head and beamed. âDo you like it?â
Alexander looked up and giggled, pulling Eliza closer to him in a tight hug. âI love it.â
Eliza took off one of her scarves and wrapped it around his neck. âTake this, too. For keeps.â
Alexander gave her a shocked look. He took the scarf off and held it back out to her. âI could never take it. It belongs to you.â
âThatâs why I want you to have it. Youâll need it more than I do when you go back to fighting tomorrow.â Her eyes sparkled with sincerity as she pushed it back toward him. âPlease take it.â
âI donât fight, Betsey. I just man George Washingtonâs diary. Besides, even if I did fight, I wouldnât have anything to give you in return for all the things youâve given me.â Alexander sighed guiltily.
Elizaâs mouth was creased with solemnity. âPromise me youâll do your best at manning General Washingtonâs journal, and thatâll be the only present you ever have to give me."Â Â
Alexander looked down. He looked deeply into Elizaâs eyes, almost as if he intended to pierce through them. "Cross my heart.â Staying inside a tiny tent and writing about the war rather than fighting in it was the last thing he wanted to do, but he would do it for Eliza.
Elizaâs face lightened up and she gave him a kiss on the forehead. Alexander rested his head on her shoulder, yawning and feeling worn-out but not wanting to let Eliza know. âTired?â She smiled over at him as if he were her young child and she was his mother. He nodded pitifully. She wrapped an arm around him. âClose your eyes if youâre tired. Iâll stay for a while. Everyone in my house is sleeping at the moment, they canât miss me too much, can they?â She winked at him. By the time she actually got a look at him, he was fast asleep.
âSleep tight, Colonel Hamilton,â she whispered playfully, wrapping one of her coats around him. âYouâve got a big day tomorrow.â
My Secret Santa present for @polkaberry! Merry Christmas, beauty/handsome/whatever adjective goes with the gender you identify as! I hope this is decent. ^^â
Lin suggests that Pippa come over and watch Valley Girl at his place because heâs got a ton of ideas to rattle off.
Lin relates Alexander and Elizaâs courtship to that of randy and julie; he reasons that Alexander is like Randy - an outsider to the upper crust of philadelphia/new york society.
âSo Randy is definitely like Alex, right? He has no money, does what he can to get by, and crashes a party full of snobs and meets Julie, who is like Eliza, and itâs like, instant attraction.â
âYes, I see that. But Alexander would never hide in a shower for hours just to get a glimpse of Eliza.â
âThey didnât have showers then!â
Punk:
Itâs Halloween, thereâs a cast party at Jasmineâs.
Daveed makes his way through the door, ducking his head to avoid messing up his hair. He gives a wave and everyone goes quiet for a minute.
âDamn, Daveed, did you get hit by a Hot Topic on the way here?â Anthony pipes up. âYou look really good as a punk.â
Daveed smiles, reaches up to touch the glued-in spikes of his hair. Okay good theyâre still in place.
âThanks, man.â
Everyone takes selfies with punk Daveed. Heâs wearing a studded belt and a rancid t-shirt, as well as plaid pants. Heâs endlessly asked why.
âItâs not baggy clothing, which yâall have hardly seen me in. Also, Bay Area spirit.â
Feels:
Itâs Christmastime and thereâs little bits of decor strewn throughout the Rodgers: garland taped to door frames, strings of lights around mirrors. Some cheeky soul had even taken the time to affix mistletoe to various doors in the theater.
Anthony catches Jasmine under one such door. He adjusts the Santa hat on his head before pointing up. Jasmine follows his hand and laughs.
âYou choose this door on purpose.â
âGotcha.â Anthony smiles and leans in to give Jasmine a peck on the cheek.
Javier walks into the hallway at that moment, spots the two of them. âAhh, you kids. Giving me the feels. Is that what the kids are saying these days?â
Saucy:
Jonathan invites everyone over for dinner. Thereâs copious amounts of pasta and just as much sauce. Literally. Thereâs seven kinds of sauces.
âHey, Groff, what got into you? This is like happy hour for sauce.â
âIâm not sure. I was watching the Food Network and like, got this urge for sauce. So here it is, the pasta buffet.â
Someone makes a joke about taking breadsticks and leaving.
âIâm not an Olive Garden. Put the breadsticks down.â
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Alex feels like heâs participating in an extended version of Chopped.
[gift fic for fandom-weirdo1]
Alexander has a distant cousin who suddenly passes away and leaves him a fair amount of money. Heâs only met them three times, but family name had a higher card than personal familiarity, so that money had to stay in the family, hence his unexpected windfall.
He takes the money and rents a small restaurant space, gives it some TLC, and opens Sea Change Bakery.
Alex hires his closest friends: Lafayette is in charge of breads and savory dishes, John does cake decorating, and Hercules is the delivery driver and caterer. Alex is in charge of cakes and pastries.
It takes about two months for accolades from newlyweds and their wedding guests, as well as word of mouth from foodies, for business to become a steady thing.
Alex doesnât think he could be any happier.
And that is when Eliza Schuyler walked into his life.
Eliza was in charge of ordering macarons for her familyâs annual picnic. The theme of the desserts that year was floral. Alex takes the order sheet to the back, which causes John make a joyful noise that can be heard all the way up in the front of the shop.
Eliza peers past Alex as he comes back out to the counter.
âFloral design is Johnâs expertise. He hasnât made a noise like that since I surprised him with a ticket to Sia for his birthday.â
Eliza chuckles. âHeâs quite welcome.â
The macaroon order makes it to the picnic and are a big hit. After that, Eliza becomes a regular at the bakery - she comes in once a week for coffee and a pastry. She enjoys talking to Alex about all manner of topics.
She may have mentioned that to her sisters, who insisted on meeting this Alex fellow. Eliza tries to do damage control and say that Alex is just great to talk to, but her sisters demand to meet this man who was clearly interested in their dear Eliza.
Angelica and Peggy come with Eliza the next time she visits the bakery. They are quick to notice that Alex is giving Eliza big eyes while heâs talking to her. Eliza isnât aware of this, though - sheâs too engrossed in asking Alex about his method of making snickerdoodles.
Eliza squawks when Peggy swats her on the arm with a newspaper. She squawks again when Angelica writes her number down and catches Alexâs attention so she can give it to him.
âAngelica, please.â Elizaâs hiding behind the newspaper now to hide her reddened face.
âAlex, just give her a call. We can see that youâre clearly over the moon for her..â Angelica reaches over and pulls the newspaper away from Elizaâs face.
âYouâre welcome, dear sister.â
Alex comes to work one morning and is greeted by Lafayette holding a folded slip of paper.
âMadame Angelica visited the bakery this morning and left this note for you. She says that you have a very colorful challenge ahead of you.â
Alex takes the letter from Lafayette, unfolds it, reads the contents.
âThe Schuyler challenge - I have to prove myself to Angelica and Peggy through my baking. If I can satisfy their sweet tooth, I have their blessing to go out with Eliza. I have to serve one dessert every Friday.â
Lafayette beams. âWe will help you in this endeavor. The men here, we see how you look at Eliza. You loooooove her.â
âLaf, please.â Alex blanches. âI donât loooooove her. I really like her.
âLetâs get to work then. Gotta get that love train rolling.â
Alex gathers up nerve to call Eliza. She picks up on the third ring.
They exchange pleasantries before Alex tells her that her sisters gave him a baking challenge. She chuckles and assures Alex heâll do fine, that her sisters have done this before to her previous suitors.
Alex coughs and asks how well the previous suitors had fared.
Eliza laughs, says they didnât pass. She lets Alex in on a secret - her sisters like him already.
Alex musters the nerve and calls Eliza that night. She picks up on the third ring.
âHello?â
âHey. Itâs Alex.â
âOh hey. I was wondering when you would call.â
âYes.â He pauses. âSo Angelica came by the bakery today and requested I agree to an extreme version of Chopped so that we can go out.â
Eliza laughs, a low throaty sound that resonates through the phone, warming Alexâs sense of hearing. âDear me, that is a glaring mistake.â
âHow so?â
âAngelica never requests. She demands.â
âOhh.â Alexâs face turns red and he stares into the bowl of cake batter he was stirring. âIâve already messed up.â
âNo, no. Let the baking challenge speak for you. I know youâll do great.â
Alex smiles wide, wishes Eliza could see it. âIâm glad I have your vote of confidence.â
âOf course.â A flurry of noise comes from Elizaâs end of the line. âHey, Alex? I have to go. My sisters are home.â
âOkay. Iâll talk to you later?â
âTotally.â
Alex presses end and sets his phone down next to the bowl.
âHoo boy,â he says to the cake batter.
Alex and his crew undertake Angelica and Peggyâs baking challenge with gusto. They carefully craft seven desserts that would show off the full vibrancy of one color of the rainbow per week.
Red: Rainier cherry tart with latticework top
Orange: Orange marmalade filled macarons
Yellow: Lemon pound cake
Green: Key lime custard topped with candied lime peel
Blue: Blueberry cream pie
Purple: Plum pudding topped with lavender-infused sugar crystals
Alex clears a space in the front display cabinet so the weekly challenge is front and center for the sisters to see when they came in.
All three sisters come in the following Friday. Alex has just set the tart out when he hears the doorbell jingle.
The cherry tart is served with scoops of Lafayetteâs homemade vanilla ice cream. The sisters eat in silence; all of the men watch from the doorway, nervous about the incoming judgement.
The spoons are set down and the sisters put their heads together to deliberate. Peggy stands up, looks to the doorway.
âYou pass this one. Weâll see you next week.â
Eliza winks at Alex before closing the door. All of the men sigh in relief. Lafayette thanks his mother for her ice cream recipe. Alex smiles; he got through this round.
The next week, Alex makes a dozen of the orange marmalade macarons. John insists on taste testing the marmalade to make sure the balance of citrus to sugar is just right.
After three adjustments and four tastes, John gives the dessert his blessing.
Alex serves the macarons with orange pekoe tea.He excuses himself when he goes to address a call-in order, so he is not present when the sisters leave.
When he is finally free, he goes out to clear the table. There is a note, neatly folded and standing upright.
The impeccable script reads âYou passed this week. We will see you next Thursday. - Schuylers 3
The lemon pound cake is served by Lafayette, who brings an extra level of presentation by wearing a lemon costume.
âAnything for a friend,â he says.
The cake passes with flying colors. The review note also gives a glowing review of the French Fruit of the Loom model who moonlighted as their waiter.
Hercules volunteers to wear a lime costume for the presentation of the key lime custard. All of the sisters groan and cover their faces when he comes out wearing that and holding the tray with the desserts and small cups of hot chocolate.
Peggy shouts for Alex to âgo full Violet Beauregarde and rock a blueberry costumeâ for the following week.
âAlex, you really should wear the blueberry costume. Ladiesâ choice.â Lafayette gives Alex his brightest grin.
âNo. No no no no. I will not dress up. That is your wheelhouse.â He points to Lafayette and Hercules. âIâm taking this seriously.â
Alex does decide to participate in the fashion-adjacent presentation of blueberry cream pie. He doesnât wear a blueberry costume, instead, he settles on wearing his best blue shirt.
Peggy frowns. âAww, I was hoping you would do the Fruit of the Loom challenge too. Tsk.â
Alex smiles. âUnlike my friendsâŚâ he glances to the kitchen door, where the three other men are trying to look busy and not like theyâre eavesdropping âIâm taking this challenge very seriously.â
Angelica nods. âYouâre a good man, Hamilton.â She takes a bite of her pie, pauses to chew and swallow it, and licks the back of her fork. âGood pie, too.â
For the final challenge, all of the bakeryâs employees participate. Lafayette is in charge of decorating the table: purple tablecloth, purple candles, bunches of lavender and pansies in the glass centerpiece. John makes the dessert - he insisted on doing the sugar crystals, thank you very much. Hercules does the presentation and serving again.
The sisters ask where Alex is. The guys say he wasnât feeling well that day and sends his deepest regrets for not being able to be at the shop.
Alex was actually in the office, hiding out because he was so nervous. It wasnât like him to be nervous, but. Eliza. She was something special.
After the sisters leave, Alex peers out from the door of his office. He waves until he catches the guysâ attention and gives the thumbs up or thumbs down gesture.
He gets three thumbs up gestures in return.
Eliza calls Alex three days later.
âHey, are you going to be at the bakery tonight?â
âYeah. Whatâs up?â
âIâm bringing some friends from school in to try some of your desserts.â
âAwesome. Iâll put on a fresh pot of coffee so itâll be ready by the time you get there.â
About an hour later, Eliza and five of her classmates come through the door. Alex gets them all sorted with desserts and coffee. Heâs just gone back to his office when he hears a knock on the door. He looks up to see Eliza standing in the doorway.
âHey. Is everything alright?â
âYes, of course. I just wanted to give you something.â
Alex tilts his head curiously. âOkay.â
âI made these.â Eliza presents Alex with two cookies wrapped in plastic; one is a happy face and the other is a heart.
âThose look too good to eat.â
âThanks. I made them myself.â Eliza grins. âHow about we share them after our date on Friday?â
âDate? LikeâŚâ
Eliza nods. âYouâve passed the Schuyler challenge. We are all satisfied.â
Alex grins widely and reaches out to hold Elizaâs hand. He ignores the cheers of the men in the kitchen who are trying to look busy instead of eavesdropping.
fandom: marvel cinematic universe
pairing: bucky/steve
summary: When Bucky was in cryogenic stasis, his subconscious produced some of the steamiest dreams...about Steve. As he adjusts to freedom and the twenty-first century and reclaims his life, he remembers flashes of his dreams from cryo and finds that his relationship with Steve is coming to resemble the stuff of his fantasies.Â
word count: 3.2~ k
warnings: SMUT AHOY! Also stuffing, chubby!Bucky, Bucky being aroused by his own weight gain, and some light consensual teasing.
a/n: written for @polkaberry as part of the chubbystuckyexchange. Hope you enjoy! ><Â
----------
It's 2014, Bucky reminds himself. His sense of time has been so confused throughout all those years under HYDRA's control, sometimes it's hard to remember where, and for that matter, when, he is, but he's making progress.
When he does talk about the past, about HYDRA, it's always in clipped, concise sentences, broken and fleeting as his memories of those years themselves. Steve never pries or pushes him for details.
He's been laid up at Steve's for about two and a half months now after the fall of SHIELD. They're lying in bed one morning, Bucky's arm (his actual arm, not the metal one) draped over Steve's narrow waist, both of them too comfortable to get up and shut the curtains to block out the rising sun, when Bucky mumbles, "You knowâŚthere were parts that weren't terrible."Â
Steve stiffens a bit under his touch, and Bucky is quick to correct himself. "I didn't mean the work," he says, because he wouldn't relive that part of his time in captivity for anything. "I didn't enjoy--no, it wasn't that. It's justâŚsometimes, when they had me in stasis," he goes on, "I'dâŚI'd dream about you."
-
The first few moments after they put him to sleep were always a struggle. Alone, in his head, Bucky started to remember himself, to struggle against the dream that steadily pulled him under like an ocean current. He was scared, all hooked up to machines, and oh, dear God, what did he just do? Why had he done that, just followed those orders like another piece of equipment?
But then, almost quicker than blinking, the scenery around him would preoccupy him and he'd forget that what he saw before him was anything but real.Â
The landscape inside Bucky's head while he was in stasis looked a lot like Brooklyn in the '30s.Â
There was a routine, a monotony, to his little life--not exactly an idyllic one, but a routine nonetheless. Between shivering against the cold winter days and working the docks to keep food on the table and electricity in the little flat he shared with Steve, there was plenty to keep his hands full.Â
And then, of course, there was Steve himself.Â
Steve, who Bucky was constantly looking out for, who stepped out of his place to correct an injustice no matter what his odds were of getting out of the situation unscathed--for the record, they were usually slim.Â
Steve, who refused to be coddled or looked after no matter how the cold rattled his bones or how bad some neighborhood bully roughed him up--but that didnât mean Bucky wouldnât try his damned hardest anyway.Â
Steve, who Bucky would have gladly fucked into the floorboards if he got so much as a single word giving him the green light. But Steve was just so stubborn, so self-reliant. He put up his walls and Bucky was never sure how to chip through them. He didnât know how to just come out and say, Iâm falling in fucking love with you, punk.Â
So for the moment, they remained, maddeningly, best friends and nothing more.
-
It was one of those nights--January, below freezing. Ordinarily, Bucky would take the sofa, but tonight, he and Steve were huddled together on a mattress on the floor for warmth. Bucky tossed under the thin blanket they were sharing, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep and grimacing against the hunger pang hitting him in the pit of his stomach like the twist of a knife.Â
Times were tough, alright.
He curled into himself, trying to ignore how miserable he felt--heâd been through worse winters, hadnât he? But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldnât settle down.Â
Then, a delicious smell wafted in through the doorway. Bucky stirred, eyes widening at the sight of Steve approaching him, kneeling down with a pair of heavily laden trays that had to be wider than either of them.Â
âWell, I canât let you go to bed hungry, can I?â said Steve, setting the trays down on the mattress. By the soft hallway light streaming through the bedroom door, Buckyâs eyes widened at the sight of roast beef, steamed vegetables, all of it smothered in gravy and creamy sauces, and warm apple pie and slowly-melting ice cream and--Â
It occurred to him, just about then, that he hadnât heard Steve get out of bed. Everything around him--the room, the food, even Steve--had this soft, intangible quality that made him deduce, he had to be dreaming.Â
âWell? Eat up, Bucky, youâre skin and bones,â said dream-Steve.Â
âSays you,â Bucky snorted, but before he could get in another witty rebuttal, Steve shoved a heaping mouthful of warm, buttery potatoes, and all he could do was swallow with a low moan of pleasure.Â
âThere, isnât that better?â said Steve, before feeding him another huge, satisfying mouthful.Â
In a way, the whole experience ached somewhere deep. He knew there was no way this could be real--that any second, he might wake up and be miserable and starving again. He tried not to think too hard about that, though. He just immersed himself in the moment and hoped he wouldnât startle himself awake anytime soon. He wanted to enjoy this while it lasted.Â
After a while, the roast beef and potatoes were gone, and Bucky felt confident that he wouldnât wake up at the slightest sudden move. He playfully reached around Steveâs waist and pulled him into his lap, Steveâs face flushed a gorgeous pink as he straddled Buckyâs waist without a question or a second thought, as if it just felt natural.Â
Just the way he might do if he loved Bucky back.Â
âFull yet?â asked dream-Steve. âOr do you have room for dessert?â
âPlenty,â said Bucky, even though his previously flat, sinewy stomach was now visibly rounded and straining against the waistband of his threadbare flannel pants.Â
âGood,â Steve said, and fed him the rest of the rich, delicious feast, Bucky encouraging him all the while with appreciative moans and sighs and whispers of, âOh, please more.âÂ
Then, at last, Bucky had cleaned all the plates. âSo full,â he groaned, falling back against the wall with a hand pressed against his obscenely round, tight stomach. âSo good.â As he was panting and catching his breath, Steve leaned in with a sweet smile and kissed him on the mouth.Â
Bucky awoke with a start. When he came to his senses, he realized his arm was draped around Steveâs waist. He removed it and turned to face the wall, breathing shallow and hoping to God that Steve hadnât picked up on it.Â
As the morning got on, it didnât seem like Steve had noticed anything odd about the previous night, and Bucky relaxed bit by bit. Steve got breakfast on the table, and even though it was only leftover oatmeal which was probably still good, maybe, Bucky demolished his bowl like it was a full Christmas feast. Steve left half of his serving, muttering under his breath about not feeling well, and offered it to Bucky, who downed it just as ravenously. By the time he scraped the last dregs out of the bowl, he was comfortably full, but he couldnât shake the desire to be uncomfortably full--damn subconscious.Â
âYou alright, Buck?â asked Steve.
âYeah, fine,â said Bucky, but while Steve was getting the dishes, all Bucky could do was stare at the wall and mentally replay visions of Steve pushing him onto his back and hand-feeding him to over-satiety.Â
âYou sure? You seem a little...distracted.âÂ
âLeave it alone,â Bucky muttered, and that was the end of that.Â
Over time, the dream became a recurring thing. His lifeâs routine was now as followed: work, survive, make sure Steve didnât get himself into too much trouble, dream about Steve feeding him until he was struggling to breathe and then kissing what remained of his breath from his lungs.Â
The whole thing left Bucky feeling more and more starving each morning, and not just for physical nourishment, but for Steve--who, for his part, seemed completely oblivious.Â
For all that he wished to feel Steve's lips crash against his own, he was delirious if he thought he lived in a world in which Steve would ever kiss him first. Steve was a regular firecracker, until it came to romantic pursuits. He used to be much bolder, but Bucky'd watched a lot of women turn him down and by now, he was so heartbreakingly discouraged that 'making the first move' probably wasn't even in his lexicon anymore. Besides, Bucky didn't even know whether Steve could like him back, regardless of who made the first move. He'd do it himself, but every time he thought about it his pulse raced and he choked on his nervousness and if Steve ever asked what 'that look' was for, he would cough and say he thought he was catching cold.Â
And even if one day he did pluck up the courage to speak his mindâŚwell, what came after that? It was one thing to fall in love with your best friend, and quite another to say, Hey, do you think you could feed me until I can barely move?Â
Still, there were the little things.Â
The wash of relief that came every time Steve came back from the recruitment office unsuccessful--he'd be disheartened, but at least Bucky could rest assured that if the little guy was ever going to get deployed to his death overseas, at least it wasn't going to be today.Â
The cold nights made just a bit warmer when the two of them were huddled close.Â
The wistful smiles he caught on Steve's face when Steve didn't know he was watching.Â
And of course, he had his rather vivid imagination, too.
-
 It's 2014, still 2014. Bucky's mind wanders, it always wanders, but he's getting better at pinning himself down in the present. He's still in bed with Steve, murmuring about HYDRA, and he takes it as a sign of progress and a point of personal pride that he can talk about the past without getting stuck there for too long.Â
"Good dreams, then?" asks Steve. It's the first time he's asked Bucky for more details. He turns around in Bucky's embrace, sleepy eyes perked with curiosity.Â
"Yes. But no? IâŚI was back in New York," Bucky recalled. "You were there. We were living in that flat we had, but we weren't, you know, together together. It wasâŚlike being in an endless loop of not knowing if you liked me backâŚ"Â
"Sounds like a drag."Â
"YeahâŚbut then sometimes I'd fall asleep in the dream, and in that dream we wereâŚ"Â
"Together," Steve finishes. "Sounds like Inception."Â
"What?"Â
"It's a movie."Â
"I'll goggle it," says Bucky.
"Google."Â
"Right."Â
They're quiet for a moment before Bucky speaks up again. It hurts to talk about HYDRA--it hurts to think about HYDRA--but he just wants someone to hear him right now, so he breaks the silence. "And waking up, after all of that, it wasâŚit was just the worst."Â
"Did you remember anything? When you--?"Â
"No. They'd pull me out and it'd be like my brain was bologna."Â
A gun in his hand and a mask over his mouth, he would be a blank slate. He couldn't have picked Steve out of a lineup.Â
"ButâŚ"Â
"But?" Steve encourages.Â
"But I knew for some reason that all I wanted to do wasâŚ" He swallows a lump in his throat, feeling disgusted with himself, but he goes on anyway. "To get the job done so I could go back to sleep."Â
"Oh, BuckâŚ"Â
It's more than Bucky can say about the dreams he's been having now. Nowadays, they're full of screams and falling corpses. That imagery is a bit darker than he wants to venture into this morning. Baby steps, he reminds himself--isn't that what they were always telling him in group? He was going to have to be patient with himself.Â
So, in the spirit of self-care, he nudges Steve and says, "Wanna get us some breakfast?"
 -
It wasn't really the 1930s, but in cryo, Bucky couldn't tell the difference.
It was about three weeks before his scheduled deployment date when the food-sex-with-Steve dreams started to get really weird.Â
The dream started out one night as lovely as ever. Steve came to bed with a tray piled high and heavy with rich, delicious food--creamy corn and spinach pie and golden potatoes and a head-spinning selection of other things, all of it drenched in enough butter, real butter, to fill the room with its heavenly aroma. "That smells delicious! I'm starving," Bucky groaned, a smile spreading across his face as he reached for a fork, but Steve pushed him back into bed and made sure he didn't have to lift a finger.Â
They kissed between bites every so often until the whole tray was cleared, and when Steve set aside the empty dishes and pressed up against him, Bucky was surprised to feel Steve's hands through the thin fabric of his shirt, closing around soft little love handles.Â
When did that happen? he wondered, because the last he'd checked, he was starving and struggling to scrape by. He was a little alarmed, for maybe a minute, about the weight that had mysteriously piled onto his frame overnight, but more than that, he was overcome with how good it felt, how warm, especially when Steve's hands slipped under his shirt to touch plush, yielding flesh. "Looks like all my efforts have paid off," said Steve, shucking Bucky's shirt off over his head and tossing it aside.Â
"Huh?" A little gasp escaped Bucky's throat as he looked down and took in the sight of himself. He wasâŚyeah, he was pretty damn plump.Â
And Steve looked enraptured.Â
"Aw, Buck, you look so good like this," he sighed, "with some meat on your bonesâŚ" He paid Bucky's pudge a series of long, loving caresses before dipping his head down to suck and gently bite at the flesh. Bucky made a strangled noise as he felt his cock jump to attention and mussed a hand through Steve's blond hair.Â
Still lavishing attention over the roll of fat that had settled around Bucky's stomach, Steve tugged down Bucky's boxers and stroked him once, twice, achingly slow. "Shit, StevieâŚ" He grabbed Steve by the front of his shirt and pulled him up for a deep, hard kiss. When Steve broke away, Bucky's breathing was labored.Â
"Out of breath, there, Sergeant Barnes?" Steve teased, and Bucky felt so close to coming, he wanted to scream. Flushed and dizzy, he thrust his hips up against Steve's hand.Â
"A little, yeah?" he said between sharp little gasps. "HehâŚno way I'm going to fit into my uniform like this," he said, pressing a hand over Steve's other one, which was still on his belly.Â
"Maybe you don't have to," said Steve. "Fail your physical, get left behindâŚhere, with meâŚ"Â
Bucky felt himself flush as he let out a whimper of assent. That sounded so nice. No more bullets, no more shotgun shells. Just him and Steve. Steve taking care of his every need. Steve not just touching him, but grabbing handfuls of himâŚyes, he'd like that very much.Â
His eyes were closed when he felt Steve wrap his lips around his cock. "Oh, fuck, Steve," he groaned. Steve sucked him down deep, still palming and squeezing at his stomach and love handles, turning him into a wreck with sensation, and just as he was about to finish, Steve pulled up.Â
"Give me one second," he said. "There's still dessert in the kitchen."Â
Bucky whined. "I can't believe this."Â
"What? Don't you have room?" said Steve, giving Bucky's belly an affectionate pinch. "Cause I swear I can still feel some give."Â
"And I don't get my reward until I eat every last bite? You just want me even fatter, don't you, Rogers?"Â
He could barely make out Steve's smirk in the dim light. "What if I do?"Â
"Punk," he said, but his eyes and the tone of his voice said, oh, yes, please.Â
When Bucky woke up in what he believed was his and Steve's flat in the 30s, his morning wood was raging, and he was almost disappointed with the way his pants hung loosely under his familiar flat stomach and sharp hipbones.Â
Steve was already up, in the kitchen, making fried dough on the stove for the fourth morning in a row, oblivious as ever.
-
Steve pulls out his phone--this palm-sized shiny thing that Bucky can hardly even believe is a phone--and orders in from IHOP. "Ten to fifteen minutes," he says after he hangs up the phone, and snuggles right back into Bucky, arms wrapped around his waist, under his shirt. Bucky's middle is soft and pliant against Steve's solid arms--HYDRA might have jacked up his metabolism, but it's no match for the 21st century's deep-fried everything, and the weeks spent doing nothing but resting and recovering have started to catch up with him. He's gotten a little chubby, his pants starting to bite into his hips, but it's not like he or Steve have raised any objections.Â
But when he feels Steve roll a bit of his pudge between a thumb and forefinger, he gives a bit of a jump and then freezes.Â
"Buck?"Â
"What?"Â
There's a moment of awkward tension. Then, Steve clears his throat. "You know I don't mind it," he says, giving Bucky's stomach a small, affectionate nudge with the heel of his hand. "I know you've put on a bit of weight, but you don't need to worry about it. You're getting healthier, that's all--"
"It's not that," Bucky cuts him off. He appreciates what Steve is trying to do, assuaging his insecurities, but he isn't insecure. If Steve only knew--the other night, while Steve was off taking care of Avengers business, Bucky was busy exploring the swell of his own new pudge with one hand, pinching and squeezing while he rubbed one out against the edge of the mattress (as the metal hand wasn't all too conducive to jacking off). "JustâŚremembered more HYDRA stuff."Â
"Do you want to--?"
"Later, maybe."Â
He hasn't told Steve about the whole food kink thing--he hasn't entirely figured it out himself. Maybe it has something to do with how much easier it is to stave off the flashbacks when he's just the slightest bit overfull, the sharp, hypervigilant edge that his thoughts all carry softened by drowsiness and satiety. Maybe it's a Great Depression thing: after a lifetime of carefully rationing his meals and watching his cash, there's something deliciously dirty about getting to eat so much that some of it sticks.Â
Or maybe it's because of how loved it makes him feel when Steve keeps him so warm and well-fed.Â
No, Bucky doesn't flinch because of Steve's hands splayed across the softening roll of his belly. He flinches because all of this--a home, warmth, comfort, love, Steve--it's too close to one of his fantasies, and he's scared that any second he's going to jolt awake, turn back into a brainless puppet, and be forced to kill someone.Â
He's safe. There's nothing HYDRA can do to him anymore. The year is 2014. He knows this.Â
But even still, when breakfast arrives and Steve goes to get the door, he gets up, pads into the kitchen and checks the calendar on the fridge, just to be sure.Â
i'd like to know a little more backstory about steve's "on va voir" tattoo - when did he get it, why, etc. :D
Right, so Steveâs mom used to always answer his inquiries with âWeâll seeâ. When he was little, he thought it was just one of those things moms do. It wasnât until he was older that he realized it was because she never knew if heâd be healthy enough or if theyâd have enough money to go to the beach or Coney Island or get pizza on Friday night or see a movie if she didnât need to work an extra shift.
He got so used to hearing it that it became his default response, too. When Clint would ask if he wanted to go to this show or that party, heâd always say, âWeâll see.â It got to the point where Clint would ask and answer in the exact same tone and cadence as Steve would, so one day Steve switched it to French just to fuck with him. The look on Clintâs face! After he brought his brain back online, Clint laughed and dragged Steve to the party anyway. (Steve ended up making out with some beefy dude in the back yard, so you know, the French stuck around.)
Theyâre coming up on the end of college, Peggy and Steve with their art degrees (although Peggy is also a certified medical transcriptionist and phlebotomist, because everyone telling her âArt! How are you going to pay your rent looking at paintings!â and everything freaked her out) and Clint with his MBA, and Steve is all talk about opening his own shop.Â
Everyone says he should, his work is amazing, and heâs easily the most popular guy at the shop he apprentices at, and Stark even offered to front him the money and fund it until it became profitable. But Steveâs waffling back and forth. Peggy asks, âSteve, itâs not going to cost you anything to try it. Whatâs the worst that could happen?â Steve says, âWeâll see.â
Heâs still considering it, writing out pro-and-con lists, until one night he and Clint go out to a club (not Starkâs - itâs not open yet) and Clintâs dancing with his shirt off. Not unusual.Â
What is unusual is instead of everyone admiring Clintâs arms because, damn, son, look at those arms, theyâre admiring the new hawk tattoo Steve just finished wrapping around Clintâs bicep. And Clintâs giving Steve significant looks and at the end of the night he screams toward the sky, âSTEVE THIS IS A SIGN FROM THE HEAVENS OKAY? What is the worst that could happen?â Steve says, âWeâll see.â
When he signs the contracts with Stark, and Stark says, âWhatâs the worst that could happen?â he takes Clint and goes out and gets the tattoo, in french because it sounds better and itâs prettier. (Heâs allowed to have his shallow moments.)Â