#politeparticles

It’s something that you can benefit from if you learn to use it automatically, even though you don’t even mean to be polite. It’s things like this that I think is important to question. It’s also an important knowledge, because you want to know why you need to use it - because Thailand in general is quite conservative about hierarchies. But how should we really show respect? 

He keeps on:

“For example, friends or coworkers who drop the formality of Khrap/Kha to express their tighter bond (real or imagined). Social rebels also tend to drop it as well [...]. People from circles that don't say krab/kha also benefit from suddenly saying it when they are in trouble with more powerful/superior people, and so on.”

You can practically gain something from not using it very often! But an opinion of mine is that you should show respect to people, no matter what. You shouldn’t feel obligated to show respect to so called superior people, especially when they don’t respect you. Respect isn’t about fear and respect is not a one way thing. What you should think about however is how to solve the situation smoothly (for your own sake) and if you risk your own or someone else’s life. 

We should all be on the same level when we speak, even kids. You can show respect in many different ways and you should show it to children as well. That’s so much more democratic! So if you forget or even choose not to use a polite particle in every sentence and someone gets irritated or mad at you... is it you or that person that are impolite? I don’t even think local thai people use it in every sentence, even if thai learners and thai teachers make you think that. 

On a website called Siamsmile they introduce us to thai and polite particles and among many other things they mention this:

“Use of the appropriate polite particle in a sentence can add just the right amount of politeness for a given situation.”

And:

“...the use of particles depends on a person's individual speaking style: some people use them a lot, others don't. In general they add informality and playfulness to spoken Thai. (Reference (2), P.287).”

Another thing I’d like to question is why there is a need of having a male polite particle and a female one. I know many people choose which one they want to use depending on how they identify themselves, but it takes courage and sometimes it becomes a bit loaded to use another particle that is not expected from you. Is there a polite particle that non-men and non-women use? I know about นะ (na) and จ๊ะ (ja), both being for all sexes, but they seem to be used in certain occasions.