#poetryheals

All my life I've only given

given myself entirely

not to humans

but to vultures

waiting for someone vulnerable

they can use and dispose of

to devour unabashedly

until the marrow is no more

I've been chewed and spat

worn like a rag

discared the moment I served no more purpose

I've been the brief amusement

to entertain their lust and gluttony

thrown like a broken toy

or burnt to cinders like old paper

I'ts like suicide

every time I cover my own eyes

and pretend I can handle beasts

all they eager to ravage me

anxiously decending into their pit

I profess love and courage

the very moment I feel their teeth

I conceal my pain and tears

with words of hope and fidelity

An immolation of emotions

an offering of faith

promises tainted in blood

lies painted in gold

I decieve my very spirit

with each attempt on my life

fabler of dreams

forger of truths

my role as a lamb

a saviour

and a fool

Only the dead,

Only the dying,

Or the chronically ill

Could possibly understand.

But, still life has it's demands.

      My spirit reeks of defeat and decay

             As those around me merrily go about their day.

I smile through the tears, grit my teeth and I push through,      

       all while they haven't got a clue,

              But  truly would I really want them to?

Pity me and treat me differently?

       Look at me as less than or incapable

              Unfortunate or unable....

                     I'm certainly not the same,  but fuck if I'll be treated as the lazy or the lame.

It's my burden to bear. From those I don't know, the grief I can spare.

It makes getting close to anyone a risk that I just wouldn't dare.

And those who knew me before,  well they don't know me anymore.

When you're in a constant state of ache, there isn't any room left on your plate for other people's mundanes.

This is for the people who feel like they are forced to portray an image of a false narrative to have a successful life. All while burying the person they truly are until the lies have piled too high and they no longer feel like they can't break free. But the smiles we see are just masks to hide the sadness within them because no one is allowed to see what lies beneath.

You deserved

Someone to love you

So i left to make the space

For the person

That is good enough for you

You hate me now

You scream at me

Tell me I'm wrong

I just think about me

So I laugh silently

So noone can hear

The true breaking within

I tell you just "fine"

Think what u want

It's not about us anymore

Because it's easier if u hate me

You'll get over it sooner

And I will stay here

Miles away, from you

Breathing and watching you

Find

The one