#poeticsolo

This Is How You Keep Her. A lot of this is complicated, the majority is common sense. Things that once I heard about, I have not stopped doing since. Other things that I have second-guessed. Plenty that have caused a mess. Though the bulk of this might leave you stressed, if you want to keep her around, it’s worth it. First off, Talk to her. About anything. And when I say anything, I MEAN ANYTHING. How you hate your baseball swing, why big girls shouldn’t wear belly rings, about winter, fall, summer, spring, EXACTLY how you like your chicken wings, because one day, she might be the one cooking it for you. Talk to her while you’re taking her for food, When she’s had a long day and is in a bad mood, while you’re in a public bathroom and your shitting nearly nude, Talk to her. About anything. Except wedding rings, that talk can wait. No woman in the world will complain about her man talking too much. So when you’re on the phone thinking “How the hell can I get her to shut up?” Talk more. However tread carefully, the wrong combination of words can start wars. Be honest and kind and at the same time, be the ear that she needs when she needs to speak her mind. Second. Be spontaneous. Now this doesn’t mean watching porn categorized as miscellaneous, sky diving, bungee jumping, or all that other crazy shit. Spontaneous just means be—different. Instead of going out to eat cook her a dinner in the kitchen. Go to a farm, ride horses and feed chickens. Sneak into a private pool and go skinny dipping, and depending on how drunk you are, try some underwater positions. On second thought, you might not want to try that drunk. Unless you’re a thrill seeker and that’s the kind of shit she is into, in that case take her to a level that her mind has never been to. Trace your tongue along her spine as if it were a pencil, and her body your canvas. Third. Be able to admit you are wrong, even if you’re right. In other words, just know when to pick your fights. What’s the use of constant yelling or back and forth messages fueled by consuming too many alcoholic beverages now all you’re sending is a bunch of incomplete sentences with no kind of censorship & no one can make sense of shit. But no woman ever wants to be the man in the relationship, when it comes time that she starts saying some senseless shit, Speak Up. Sit her down. & end the shit. Fourth. Be Educated. This might be the most underestimated. Trust me when I say you’ll be glad that you concentrated in those classes that were so hard they nearly left you constipated and the thought of dropping out was constantly contemplated but finally at the end you said “Mama I made it, G.E.D hol it down” In all seriousness, there is no bigger turnoff to an educated woman than a dumb motherfucker. You take her out to supper and you discussing how the Red Sox lineup is filled with sluggers but they don’t have any pitcher that can throw down on the rubber. Then you go on to social media and talk about who fucking each other, and what ain’t shit celebrity is cheating on their lover. Instead talk about how Ms. Garner just lost her lover. How in the Middle East everybody killing each other. Or how condom sales have dropped cause nobody wearing rubbers, about how Ray Rice’s wife said it was in god’s plan for him to slug her. Fifth. Be passionate. Not just for her, but for your dreams and your goals. You can always use improvement no matter what you’re told. Whether with work or your relationship you can always do better, it might mean a lot to her and to you be whatever, just know that with females they ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS remember. Even if you try cute shit and none of it is clever, just know, its not the size of the failure but the size of the effort. Sixth. Please Her. Emotionally. Let her know how much you care. Show her. Don’t tell her how much you wish she were there. Go for her. Mentally. Speak words to her that provoke her thoughts to slow dance & intertwine with yours for a psychological romance. Sexually. Relieve her with each stroke. Pull her hair, and gently choke as you penetrate her deeper than poetry quotes. Lastly. Be Consistent. The most obvious, yet the one so many never achieve. What ultimately decides whether you fail or succeed. If relationship was a person Consistency is the air that it breathes and the food that it needs. Nothing drives a female more insane, than when after a couple weeks everything just starts to change. All of a sudden texting patterns are no longer the same, and talking to each other turns into the waiting game. You take turns on who will hit each other up, then the only thing you become consistent at is fucking up. Fuck all that. Ignore that text so you can call her back. If you got her flowers every weekend when you first met, then every fucking weekend flowers are what she’s going to get. Don’t turn restaurant hopping into Chinos indoors, or spontaneous adventures into helping her with chores. She fell for the you that would surprise her during lunch with her favorite dessert. On the days she was sick YOU would call out of work, just to go over and pamper her even if it didn’t help but you KNEW that deep inside how much her heart would melt. Be the guy that she fell for, don’t ever mislead her, and I promise, if you do these things, this will be how you keep her.