#poems!!

see,

if i had the time,

i would ask you a million questions

i would listen to every syllable that flowed

from the depths of your soul they stir

and boil up in amalgams of fear and joy

of love and yearning

if i had the time,

there wouldn't be a thought of yours i couldn't recall

or a secret i'd have yet to uncover

all of you i would see

if i had the time,

we would talk for hours upon hours

what about?

who knows

i'd share it all with you

we would know each other

see,

if i had the time,

i would pull you close

i would embrace your innermost desires

your tormenting memories

your dreams and nightmares

your vices

your virtues

if i had the time,

i'd beg to know how it felt

to see someone like me

clutching my hands around the vapor of your being

one that evades me

always evades me

see,

if i had the time,

i'd read this to you

i'd read it one thousand times over

i'd let you read it yourself

feel the pages of the book that is my skin

soak in the prose that is my mind

the paragraphs on my lips

that tell of a life we never lived

phrases atop phrases

that simply read,

'for you i longed.'

see,

if i had the time,

keoni,

i would tell you everything

i'd tell you my name

who i am

why i loved you

why i love you

and i would say,

"if you had the time,"

"maybe you would love me, too."

when i wake up i think to myself

my, what a time to be alive

the sky is grey

its clouds cast an eerie gaze

when i wake up

the grass is not green

the birds are all dead

the insects crawl into my ears

my, what a time to be alive.

i don’t ask for pity

you know i’m not one to dwell in it

no,

i simply ask for your affection

nothing less than the touch of you

your heart

and yet i sit beside you

and your warmth you will not give

i sit here, i weep.