#poem 11

Sometimes it appears to me as a thought,

Sometimes it's just a dream,

But the only part constant in them is you...

Ruining me in the process and my life's theme.

But I really like it...

You and your thoughts,

Coming to my abode, sometimes in a sudden manner only to

Wreck me more than I have sought. 

Do I still remember, if you might ask,

Our first meeting, our first exchange of words...?

The answer will always be a yes!

Because it was one fateful summer

When I thought I'd hate you forever but promises are for cowards.

But not always all hates hold the same meaning...

I do hate you and may be I'll continue.

How did I end up like this will always be my question to ask!

When I was meant to be one of your few! 

May be I was forbidden to fall in love with you,

But I have always considered it as my fate.

May be you were never my destiny,

May be I was too late.

But you can never deny

That you didn't love me, even if it was for a second.

Because those eyes hold enough truth in them,

More then the stars and beyond.

Five autumns had passed by

But it still feels like yesterday...

When you told me with that smile,

"Hey! I'll be going away!"

Did you hear the shattering sound?

Or the droplets at the corner of my eyes?

Or the unnerving thoughts that were eating me,

And the endless sighs?

How am I supposed to forget

That enchanting smile, those deep eyes...

Those affections reserved only for me,

And that voice and the songs they used to sing?

I still go to those places,

I still wander my hands...

I still wonder if you would appear,

To take me to your lands.

It feels unreal that you are not here,

It feels so real that you have disappeared...

The emptiness is like a slap

Because I couldn't hold the person

Who was so dear.

There are times when I feel like screaming out your name.

But then I realize it would all go in vain,

That you are hard to tame.

My wishes for you always will be

What they used to be...

That you achieve what you have wanted,

And you stay happy.

I have one request though

If you care enough from the deems.

Can you please return for real someday...

And quit coming in my dreams?

You will see that I still hold that place for you...

Deep in my heart.

You will know in my eyes that

I'll always love you even if I was hurt.

I am lost in that maze,

Where I am still looking for you.

And I am constantly tripping

Just like a grass dew.

I have always been in love with you,

If that I could only show...

And tell you one last time

That I am yet to master

As we dance in the dim light

Our hearts beat fast, surrounded by a dozen others

We are all lost, we pretend to know what we are doing

I step on your toes, but you don't care

The light in your eyes almost makes it easy to ignore the fact that I’m wearing a dress

I abandoned my shoes an hour ago

And you took off yours to make us equals

We are a clumsy, twirling mess of blushes and shy smiles and giggles

I paint an image of us in my head alongside the numbers that count our steps

And the timer that counts down to the last time I will say goodbye to you

(I do not know that it will be tonight.)

I cannot imagine that this night will end,

But it does.

For the next week I close my eyes

April 2023 Poem a Day Challenge #11

huddled close to the speaker she is musicand waiting and listeningher eyes lowerednearly in prayer she is consumedby the orators cadencethe quiet scribbles she keepshiddenher secret artisan paintsmosaics of her hurried lifetime is running outon her present surroundingsshe is leavingnot fleeingjust leaving the herefor the here after because what she is here afteris far too fragile for the…

darling, you are going to make it it may not feel like it, with the weight pressing your nose into the concrete but one day you will lift your head up high and stare the sun right in her face there will be a home in your chest for joy and for sunsets and for long drives and for bonfires and for foggy mornings and you will love the things you do, you will love the person you are becoming as if she were always something beautiful and treasured. you will wake up one morning, and you will choose to live, despite it all, you will love life with every aching breathe you draw in you will no longer want to die, and there will be purpose in your shaking hands, they will heal

there are caskets lining the marketplace a cantaloupe colored megalomaniac upon a paper thrown from inhospitable distances we ignore the changing traffic signs wash our hands till sour and stay safer at home

cabinets full of ass napkins cupboards stocked with non perishables and internet connectivity to keep us warm

the revolutionaries take the headlines serious the cadavers don’t read headlines

a lifetime spent

watching TV together

singing along to theme songs

we’re gonna catch ‘em all!

memorising our favourite lines

‘The Doctor will not!’

crying over the same scenes

four knocks! nuuuuuuuuuu!

this is the foundation of

He said I was who he loved the most

Then he asked me for some toast