#pocparenting

I hate to see people talk about and criticize little black girls for doing practically anything, feeling good about themselves, dressing up, getting their nails done, behaving like children, etc. it just makes me sick. And it comes from every direction, from inside the black community and outside of it. I hate to see shit like that and it sucks because it plagues the mind and creates and further solidifies negative energy in my body and in my spirit because I was a little black girl too and I’m a black woman today, that is how generational trauma and nervous systems get destroyed, you start to carry those things with you when you have to see and combat them all the time. My advice for black women especially because you never get a break from it and black people is to flourish and grow and do whatever tf you feel like despite what them people are talking about even the ones who look like you!! Live your life, laugh, express yourself, ignore people like that and instances where they try to sneak their way into your algorithm and unsettle your spirit. Nothing good comes out of it, those are outdated schools of thought designed to create stagnancy in your lives and make you sick. I think our people have done enough keeping our ears, minds and hearts open to the negativity of this world towards us in the name of vigilance, safety, and the simple fact that we have no other choice but to be aware that it is happening. They want you to be aware, they want you to be afraid, they want you to carry it with you, for it to be ingrained within you. Decenter it.

A lot of people may not like this one but I think as black women we have a responsibility to our daughters to let them express themselves the way they want to express themselves, especially as a community of women whose femininity has been demonized or otherwise stolen from them for no reason other than because it can be. There’s a lot of discourse about what’s too grown for our daughters or what they are and aren’t allowed to do or express themselves as because we want to protect them from the world or because we don’t want them to be seen a particular way. A lot of this stems from us not being able to protect ourselves and protect our girls from abusers, from pedophiles, from passerby’s whom only desired to consume our daughters, dishonor them, or take from them. But, there comes a time as a community where we have to heal from our trauma, heal from the internalized sexualization of our children and daughters. When we talk about self victimization in the black community, let us not make the mistake of thinking that we have no right to feel upset or be traumatized after what we’ve experienced or the generational trauma we’ve endured and passed down to one another, but let it be a conversation about in which ways we continue to oppress ourselves or hurt one another because of things we’ve learned and are having a hard time letting go of so that we can flourish. This is common in all ethnic households, not just black ones, but because I’m a black woman, I’ll speak from a black experience. Outside of people of color, there is not a reality of a young girls femininity, beauty, or expression being policed so aggressively or limited so easily.