Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: In which your recent gift to Nanami has him quickly feeling himself.
Contents: fluff, humor, established relationship, canon-div
Word count: 4.3k
Never could you have foreseen the situation reaching such a dire level.
With both of your text messages sent to Nanami within the last half-hour going unanswered, youâd suspected that he might have succumbed to the sleep deficit heâd accrued over the previous weekâhis relentless schedule had been filled with one assignment after another, with the promise of finally winding down only today after a mission he was assigned in the early hours of this morning.
With this in mind, youâd made a calculated effort to be as quiet as possible, gently sliding the key heâd given you just a mere few weeks prior into his door lock, marking this as the very first time you were using it yourself.
As you quietly stepped inside, Nanamiâs shoes instantly caught your attention from the corner of the genkan, their leather soles still bearing the dark sheen of melted snow. It was this, coupled with some fresh ingredients left out on the counter just by the fridge, that offered undeniable proof that he was indeed home.
Only after youâd slipped out of your shoes and tiptoed further inside did you sense that something might be amiss.
A clothes hamper haphazardly lay tipped onto its side just outside the laundry closet, whose door was left ajar. Some of Nanamiâs clothing had spilled onto the ground, strewn about as if theyâd been hastily discarded, leaving a trail of shirts, slacks, and socks that led all the way up to his living room couch, where were piled what could be no less than two weeksâ worth of laundry.
You carefully waded your way to the end of the hall, past the guest bathroom, past his vacant home office, until you reached his bedroom.
As soon as you crossed the threshold, you heard a rummaging noise emanating from the open closet.
âKento?â you called out towards it.
It only took a couple of seconds for Nanami to stumble out of the confined area, looking like heâd just been dragged through a storm.
He was less than half-dressed, clad merely in his slippers, boxer briefs, and an undershirt that revealed the glint of his thin gold chain at the base of his throat. His hair was disheveled, and he bore a tired and troubled expression, with pupils darkened, brows furrowed, and the corners of his mouth tugged downwards into a tight frown.
It took you a moment to process the sight before you.
Your visibly disarrayed Nanami spoke before you could.
âAh, welcome back,â he said, the warm affection of his greeting swiftly slipping into something grave. âHave you seen my robe?â
A few weeks priorâŚ
To think that this all started with a pair of fancy, comfortable house slippers.
With his book in one hand and a freshly brewed cup of matcha in the other, Nanami had just settled onto your couch beside you, fully emulating a Sunday morning languor that mirrored the quiet mid-winter day outside.
Youâd wrenched your gaze from your phone just in time to watch him set his mug onto the coffee table before leaning back into the plush pillows with a gentle sigh.
He now had his leg extended, outstretched and slightly lifted off the ground as he idly rotated his ankle in an absent-minded, lazy motion that caused his slipper to repeatedly slide halfway off and on with each unthinking movement.
You couldnât help but chuckle at the amusing sight.
âYou seem to be enjoying those,â you remarked.
Nanami set his book on his lap and glanced at you, lips twitching into a sheepish smile.
âWell, these are some awfully comfortable slippers.â
Even months into this budding relationship, there remained something novel about the way Grade 1 sorcerer Nanami Kento seamlessly switched into the softened, unguarded iteration of himself, something deeply endearing about recognizing the way he shed a weekâs worth of job-induced tension and allowed himself to truly relax, even if for a mere few hours.
It made your heart swell with pure delight, just as much as it did back when youâd watched him lounge in this very spot the morning after heâd stayed over for the first time, no longer as a guest you were hosting in your house but as a partner with whom you were sharing a pleasant slice of home.
By now, youâd easily slipped into an alternating pattern, visiting one another whenever your weekend schedules permitted, and over time, youâd naturally stocked Nanamiâs go-to toiletries and yielded him a non-negligible portion of your closet and drawer space where heâd kept several changes of the clothes, along with all the things youâd offered him to make his stays comfortableânewest among those was this very pair of luxurious slippers.
âThey come in a set too, you know,â you added after a moment.
âA set?â
âMm-hmm. It includes a silk eye mask and a matching house robe.â
Nanami let out a low, pensive hum, and you returned your attention to your phone.
âI donât believe Iâve ever owned a robe before,â he murmured, drawing your attention to him once more.
âWait, really?â
Nanami slowly shook his head before his gaze flickered to you. âWhy, is that so surprising?â
You took a moment to truly consider his question, letting it resonate within you. âI donât know⌠I just think it would really suit you. Comfort always does look good on you, Mr. Nanami.â
Nanami settled deeper into the soft cushions, a bashful blush coloring his cheeks in the kind of vulnerable display you always treasured, always felt lucky to behold.
Something softened in your chest, and it was right then and there that you zeroed in on the next addition to his gradually expanding side of your closet, unwittingly embarking on what would be an entertaining ride.
No later than the very next week, you were able to hand Nanami his gift.
With both of you having the following Monday off duty, this Sunday presented the kind of placid respite that only the middle day of a long weekend could offer. Following a lunch date at a nice bistro, followed by a fruitful trip to the local bookstore, youâd returned to his apartment together.
By now, Nanami had already slipped into what was now the second pair of comfortable slippers youâd gifted him, and stood before his full-length mirror as he fastened a wide belt into the double loops of a brand new matching house robe.
âHow does it fit?â you asked from where you sat behind him on the corner of his bed, keen to confirm whether the size youâd picked out for him would provide a loose enough fit for his comfort.
With a muted swish and drag of his slippers against his hardwood floor, Nanami took the small side step that allowed him to meet your gaze through the mirrorâs reflection, something not quite yet readable in his eyes. He adjusted the shawl collar that framed his neck before finally turning around to face you.
âYou tell me,â he simply replied, his gaze moving over your face.
You took in the way his broad shoulders filled the width of the pale gray gown, which was composed of carefully crafted towelling and where the soft Egyptian cotton fabric no longer hung loose, molding his frame instead as it held snug along his sides and cinched at his waist by a thick, fastened belt. The robe had a wide hood and two deep front pockets just below his hips, one into which heâd slipped a hand as he brought his other hand to his hip, as if to strike a pose.
Effortlessly classy, functionally stylish, and, just as youâd envisioned, he looked damn good in it.
Your staring must have been prolonged enough to catch Nanamiâs attention, which he signaled with a sudden quirk of his eyebrow and a noticeable twitch at the corners of his mouth.
âWell, it looks perfect to me,â you replied, as casually as possible, even as you felt the inklings of a buzzing, familiar warmth come over you, driving you to briefly bite the inside of your cheek.
âIt certainly feels perfect,â he concurred, his voice low and warm and his nose crinkling in a way you recognized to be whenever he was absolutely self-content.
Like was totally feeling himself. With good reason.
Later that evening, you found yourself observing Nanami while he carefully arranged one of your napkins into a makeshift bib over his new robe as he sat down to have dinner.
âItâs just too comfortable to take off just yet,â Nanami said, responding to what could only be your perplexed expression. âSurely Iâm allowed to indulge in this today, right?â
Your palms shot up in mock surrender at his defensiveness from an accusation you hadnât even considered forming. âHey, I didnât say otherwise!â
âGood,â he returns, with an equally playful, self-satisfied smile.
Because of course heâs allowed to indulge you thought as you snickered at the sincerity counter weighing his joking tone, at the dualities of the man before youâgoofiness under seriousness, indulgence under restraint, the dutiful sorcerer who wielded a blunt sword to exorcise the most vicious curses in this existence, now deep in the plushy comfort offered by a simple cotton house robe.
So for the remainder of that sweet, long weekend, Nanami indulged in his new house robe, removing it only for the scarce occasions he stepped outside, or when he was showering or sleeping.
You could forever watch him roam around with a leisurely tempo in his step as he went about his dayâit was charming, adorable, sexy in the most understated ways.
You gave yourself a mental pat on the back, relishing the idea that youâd managed to offer him a small slice of comfort, not yet realizing what youâd gotten yourself into.
It wasnât until sometime later that you hit the absolute tip of the iceberg that was Nanamiâs fondness for his robe.
He wore it so often now, nearly whenever he was hanging out at home, and this quiet, late morning was no exception.
You were seated at the dinner table, busy drafting an addendum to a recent mission report of yours in a comfortable silence that was only punctuated by the sound of a wooden spoon occasionally hitting a pot.
Keen on sharing a recipe heâd talked about at length, Nanami had taken it upon himself to prepare his twist on a risotto, a dish whose preparation doubled as a test of diligence, requiring a near-constant presence by the stove as he monitored the pot and gradually added in the stock, one careful ladle at a time.
Kento also happened to be in the middle of reading a mystery thriller novel that had him particularly hooked. It did surprise you a bit when you spotted him taking his paperback along with him to the kitchenâhe usually treated his reading time with more sanctity, making it a point to separate it from any other activities.
But what truly caught your attention was what you noticed him do with it.
Youâd lifted your gaze just in time to catch Nanami as he slipped his book into one of the expansive pockets of his robe before reaching for the stove and adding two ladlesâ worth of broth to his pot which he then gently stirred.
You thought nothing more of this, that is, until a minute later, when you caught him fishing the book from his pocket once more, quickly thumbing his bookmark to find his page.
A moment later, he closed his book and returned it to his pocket.
By now, your mission report was long forgotten in favor of the scene unfolding before you, of Nanami Kento, whom youâve only ever known to be a practical, efficient man, engaging in a very much less than efficient enactment of his favorite hobby, as if his main purpose was to maximize the usage of the pockets of his robe.
Surely that wasnât what he was truly doing, you thought as you carefully observed him out of the corner of your eye.
Sure enough, it hadnât been a flukeâhe did this a few more times, each time making a point of tucking his book away into his robe pocket before resuming his cooking.
A short moment later, Kentoâs eyes found yours, a quiet but undeniable thrill radiating from them.
âThis story is getting wild. You must absolutely give it a read once Iâm done,â he said, casual as ever, before returning to his stove.
What you brushed off at the time as one of Nanamiâs amusing albeit peculiar new habits with his robe would only be the first of many others.
There are habits, and then thereâs this.
Nanami has his mannerisms, many of which youâd picked up early on as youâd surreptitiously observed the man who was still only your lovely colleague who was just broaching the outer limits of your attention.
He readjusted his glasses whenever he was narrowing his focus to lock onto a target.
He often rolled up his sleeves when he was gearing up to enter combat or preparing to take on an arduous task.
When deep in thought or pondering a tough decision, his hand instinctively went to his tie, smoothing its fabric.
And now, there was a new one, one youâd been noticing over the past few days, one that you were about to put to a test.
âNanami,â you called out to him suddenly one day, keeping your tone as neutral as possible.
You watched him freeze right where he sat on his couch, his countenance stiffening immediately as your unusual usage of his surname, well outside the formal confines of work, gradually registered.
And there it was, subtle but right on cueâNanamiâs fingers found the edge of the belt of his robe, sliding up until they found the knot and began fidgeting, adjusting something that didnât need it.
ââŚYes?â He replied after a short pause, a flicker of nervous curiosity clouding his eyes.
âIâll be driving out to the tailor tomorrow for a few items I need adjusted. Is there anything you want to have dry-cleaned since Iâll be in the area?â
âDry cleanedâŚâ he began, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he tried to decipher yours, but you expertly averted your gaze before he could probe too deeply. âNo, I donât have anything to be dry-cleaned⌠Is there something wrong?â
âWhy would there be something wrong, Nanami?â
He let out a nervous scoff, and you watched his fingers quickly find his belt again, less fidgety this time, just settling there.
âWell, good, now I know youâre just messing with me.â
âOh, am I?â you countered as you walked right by him, but your carefully crafted composure faltered, and the snicker youâd been suppressing escaped in an uncontrolled burst.
Nanamiâs demeanor relaxed as his hand slipped from the anchor of his robeâs belt to your hip, halting your stride with a gentle yet firm pull toward his lap.
âNot so fast, we ought to discuss thisâŚâ he commanded huskily.
Yielding to his tug, you savored in the moment and in the way by which, ever since youâd discovered that this particular mannerism of Nanamiâs stemmed from a mix of nervousness and hesitation, you derived great pleasure in baiting it out of him just to witness him embody it at your whim.
It was on an early, unsuspecting evening that the most blatant manifestation of Nanamiâs metamorphosis occurred.
Yet another particularly busy season at work made for late nights at the Tech, making your apartment the most convenient place for you and Nanami to retreat before youâd have to do it all over again in the morning.
You were spending the evening like youâd spent most of them these days: carefully planned leftovers made for a quick dinner, leaving you with just enough time to decompress before the inexorable wave of slumber came knocking at your door.
Today had been extremely brutal, and after spending ten minutes staring at your TV screen trying to determine whether you had the emotional capacity to embark on the new story arc for the program you were actively watching, fatigue made the decision for you and you ended up sitting on your couch, blankly staring at the wall instead, slowly processing the events of the day.
Nanamiâs soft steps could be heard behind you as he emerged from the kitchen area. You tilted your head up in time to catch him through your periphery.
In moments like this, you admired, almost envied, Nanamiâs deep delineation between work and home. On most days, he bested you at this, consistently compartmentalizing work as work and refusing, as much as he could, to allow it to encroach on his scarce downtime.
He set down a steaming hot cup onto the coffee table just before you, and it only took a few seconds for the calming, familiar floral scent of chamomile to tickle your nostrils, its scent, along with Nanamiâs presence, already doing wonders to ease your tension.
You caught Nanamiâs hand before he retreated it, brushing your fingers along his palm before giving it a gentle squeeze, a gesture of your wordless gratitude.
Nanami said nothing, letting a gentle press of his lips to your forehead be his silent acknowledgment before he disappeared from your focal view.
The serene quiet that had reigned between you for some time extended for a moment before it was interrupted by the gliding sound of the sliding patio door and the gust of crisp evening spring air that swept into the living area.
âAre they really still repaving that road over there?â Nanami spoke suddenly.
âOn the side street?â you asked as you brought the cup of chamomile tea to your nose, basking in its calming balm. âYeah, thatâs still going onâŚâ
âThey sure are taking their sweet time with this,â he muttered.
You couldnât help but snicker, amused by the snide delivery of his comment.
A brief silence before Nanamiâs pensive hum filled the air.
âWerenât they here recently?â you hear him mumble again, as if to no one in particular.
âWho was?â
âThe landscapers. Did they not do the shrubbery in the courtyard last week?â
Your weary mind needed a moment to shift focus, sifting through your memories to grasp what Nanami was referring to.
âRight⌠The landscapers were here last weekend,â you confirmed as it slowly came back to you now. âWe drove by them on the way to park the car, remember? You even made a comment on how good a job they seemed to be doing. Why do yoââ
âTch,â Nanami abruptly cut in with an unimpressed click of his tongue. âWell, I definitely take that back.â
You nearly choked mid-sip.
A glance over your shoulder wouldnât sufficeâthis time, you just had to fully turn into your seat to face him in earnest, this source of unusual snark.
When your gaze found Kento, he was peering out through the sliding door leading to your balcony, his hair down from its usual style, his reading glasses on, and he was casually swirling a mug of his own herbal tea, looking relaxed as he usually did at this point of the evening.
It was only now, as it caught and absorbed the hues of orange just beginning to tint the sky, that you noticed that he had notably changed into his favorite house robe.
Something about Nanamiâs allure tonight carried something different that you couldnât quite place.
Your train of thought trailed off as you suddenly spotted him peer up, moving to the side and closer to the edge of the sliding door as if to discern something from one of the apartment windows above and adjacent to yours.
âOh, this should be interesting. I got here just in time,â he said as he brought his cup right back up to his lips.
âIn time for what?â
He nodded towards his focal point. âSheâs about to start again.â
âWho is?â you asked, feeling as though you were hallucinating from tiredness and finding it increasingly difficult to grasp the thread of this conversation.
âThat loud neighbor of yours, the one whoâs always engaged in those loud phone conversations.â
âKento! Donât be a snoop!â you said in a loud, scandalized hush.
âWell, are you not the one who first told me about her all those weeks ago?â he countered, dismissing your playful outrage as he scooted closer to the door and slid it slightly more ajar, before leaning against the frame.
An incredulous laugh escaped your lips. âIâm honestly surprised you remember that.â
âOh, I more than remember itâsheâs been airing out her fraudulent boss for the last few weeks now.â He paused and turned to you, lowering his voice conspiratorially, as if sharing a well-kept secret. âLast time around, she was talking about a sting to catch him in the act. Hopefully, she provides us with an update on thatâŚâ
âWho is us? How long have you beenââ
âOh. You didnât tell me someone finally moved into that top-floor penthouse.â
âThe⌠what?â
Nanami paused to take a sip from his cup, shaking his head as he savored it before swallowing and continuing.
âThose curtains definitely werenât there last week. Someoneâs moved in.â Then, turning to you again, this time with the most serious expression ever, âYou havenât noticed?â
Your confusion melted away, replaced by amused bewilderment.
âNow, Kento, you know Iâve done little more than eat dinner and sleep here for the past couple of crazy weeks, when would I even have the time to notice something like this?â
Still, curiosity got the best of you, so you yielded to its draw, picked up your cup, and slowly made your way towards the window, towards Kento.
âGood pointâŚâ he started. âI do wonder what theyâve got going on, thoughâŚâ
âNanami!â
âWhat is it?â
âWhen the hell did you become this nosy, sir?â You underscored your remark with a light, teasing tap to his bicep.
When Nanamiâs smile reemerged, it held something genuinely coy, as if youâd caught him in the natural act of one of the hidden sides of himself, utterly disrobed within the cocoon of comfort delimited by your presence.
There was no facade he could sustainably maintain, not that heâd want to, no sides of him he could feasibly suppress under the fissure brought on by your caring perceptiveness.
With you, it was far more reasonable to get comfortable, made all the sense in the world to lean into it.
âAh,â Nanami said, perking up as he leaned closer into the opening once more. âSheâs talking about him again. This is about to get interestingâŚâ
âYou need to close this window, itâs getting chilly in here,â trying but failing to mask your own enjoyment at all this by hiding your face behind your raised mug.
âIâm confident I can keep you warm if you come here, and we can listen in together,â he offered, his words sounding more like a question than not as he extended his free arm, beckoning you closer. âDid you know this thing is made of one hundred percent Egyptian cotton?â
âYou and this house robe⌠What is it about it that always finds you in such rare form?â
Even as you shook your head in amazement, you couldnât bring yourself not to take him up on his offer, and you slowly slotted yourself into his open arm. As he gently closed it around you and pressed you close, you could immediately sense the decompressing effect that had been evading you all evening starting to seep from him to you, blotting out, in real time, the vestiges of your stressful day.
Nanami drew the patio curtain, leaving only enough to match the crack in the open sliding door. âIn case there are nosy neighborsâŚâ he solemnly stated, his tone taking a cautious tenor.
âYou canât be serious, Kento,â you snickered, your tone dripping with disbelief. âSurely you realize that you are being the nosy neighbor right now?â
Present day...
A suspended moment passed between you.
âYour robe?â you asked, unable to mask the amusement overtaking your surprise at the scene before you.
Nanami must have perceived the incredulity spelled on your face. He stepped just out of the closet and straightened up, lightly clearing his throat as he visibly attempted to regain his composure.
âI looked for it everywhere,â he said in a lower tone.
âYour⌠robe?â you repeated slowly to confirm what was dawning on you. âYou turned your place upside down searching for your house robe?â
He crossed his arms over his chest, something almost flustered settling in his allure. âAlright, go ahead, you can laugh.â
âIâm not laughing, Iâm just...â you trailed off, words forever lost, buried beneath the hand covering your moth along with the sound of your own uncontrollable giggling.
Nanami allowed you the moment he now realized this situation deserved.
âNanami Kento,â you gasped in between laughs as you took slow, trudging steps his way. âGrade 1 sorcerer. Indispensable to him are his watch to keep track of his precious time, his blade to exorcise the most tenacious of curse spirits, and at the end of the day, his fancy house robe.â
You reached into your tote bag and produced another smaller garment bag containing Nanamiâs robe, carefully folded with its soft fabric tucked in on itself, with a new addition made to it. You bowed your head slightly as you handed it to him with both hands, taking on an excessively apologetic tone.
âI hope you can forgive me for borrowing this prized possession for the time it took me to have it monogrammed.â
You lift your head up in time to see the spark light up his eyes, something between relief and affection chasing away all previous signs of disquiet.
âThank you, this is... Well, I suppose I should first tidy upâŚâ he said, quickly turning away, but not so quick that you donât notice the reddening of his face.
A/N: had fun writing this one lol | my JJK mlist here
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CW: mature themes, smut, NSFW/MDNI.
Title: Endurance Theory
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: In which Nanami Kento takes a not-so-subtle interest in the many effects of your new workout routine, and you endeavor to feed his curiosity.
Content tags: sorcerer!reader, established relationship, mutually assured downbad-ism, slight grappling with self-confidence, MVP Shoko, wingman Gojo?
WC: 15.9k
Also on AO3
If body language can betray the tension of withheld truths, Nanamiâs was currently telling quite a compelling story.
It was one of shoulders tightened, of knuckles whitened around his grip as his fingers moved in an unusually fidgety flutter over the doorâs keypad while he punched a code into the electronic lock.
Upon his six-digit entry, the lock emitted a sharp, screeching beep, its display blinking red before resetting and awaiting another attempt.
A shaky, breathy scoff escaped Nanamiâs lips, more agitated than amused.
âKento, where is thisââ
âDonât ask,â he curtly cut you off, and you heard him take a deep inhale before he brought a keycard to the sensor and began typing on the number pad once more.
You glanced up at his face, finding the vein tracing his temple to his hairline protruding beneath his skin, his brows furrowed in strained concentration, and his lips pinched into a tight, terse line.
This sight alone had your curiosity gradually give way to contentment.
The keypad emitted a soft, approving chime, and this time around, the lock yielded with a satisfying click.
Nanami opened the door, walking in first and holding it open for you as he cast a gaze around the room for a moment before giving a slow shake of his headâfor once, Gojo hadnât been exaggerating.
âAlright thenâŚâ you ventured, pulling him out of his brief contemplation. âWhy did you bring me here?â
You knew it then, that you were posing a question to which you already knew the answer. You hoped that the whispering volume and provocative tone of your words would suffice to conceal the excited tremor in your own voice, because if Nanamiâs body language was telling a story, yours was very closely following along.
When he turned around, finally meeting your gaze head-on, you gave him a slow, deliberate blink. The deep-set turmoil in his eyes as they met yours was only further substantiated by the urgency with which he pulled you by the arm, guiding you into the room and towards him.
âDonât ask me that either,â Nanami ultimately responded before crushing your body against his, and haltingly lowering his face down to yoursâŚ
A few months priorâŚ
When youâd first expressed your intentions to give Pilates a try, Nanami was, just as heâd been with all things, nothing short of a supportive partner.
Even after youâd returned from your first session feeling more than a bit ambivalent about the intensive in-studio class, heâd offered his unwavering support through the kind of warm and sensible words that typified him.
âI donât know, Kento⌠I was a bit all over the place,â youâd lamented at the time. By now, youâd nestled yourself right where youâd found Nanami this eveningâwith only the stove light illuminating his face as he put the finishing touches on the rose pasta heâd promised to make for you this week. âThe coordination component alone was⌠Well, you know how bad I can be with that kind of thing,â you concluded with a self-deprecating chuckle.
âDonât be so hard on yourself. This was your very first time, after all,â he reminded you as he gave you a sidelong glance that you tried to avert by burying your face in your cup of tea.
âIt was an intro class, Kento,â you said after taking a tentative sip of the still scorching hot drink. âIt was everyoneâs first time, and yet, the others seemed to be far more suited for this than I was. They were certainly keeping up betterâŚâ
You closed your eyes, basking as the steam emanating from your cup brushed against your face like a soft sigh, seeking to escape into that first sip that loosened a tightness you didnât realize youâd carried in your throat.
âIâm sure youâre exaggerating,â Nanami said simply.
You set your cup down onto the counter, but before you could deliver your retort, Nanami raised a finger to dissuade you.
âAnd even in the case youâre not, need I remind you that you were on call earlier today, and that you took on not one but two unscheduled missions? You were already fatigued going into this.â
Nanamiâs rational words gave you pause.
It had admittedly been a long day, youâd decidedly gotten a bit in your head, and it was clear to you now that it was the words produced by the vague sense of inadequacy youâd tried and failed to shake off on your brisk walk home from the studio that had inadvertently tumbled out.
Seeking to center yourself, you took a deep breath.
âRight, so youâre saying itâs not only a skill issue?â you delivered the words with a slight smile, half in jest, half attempting to lighten the tenor of the conversation, as you often did whenever Nanami drew out your most unguarded self.
Your quip earned you a deep sigh from Nanami, who, in turn, kindly played into your tongue-in-cheek remark.
âWhat I am saying is that before you unilaterally decide that itâs not for you, consider giving it one more session. And if itâs not a fit, then at least youâll have given it a fair try,â he replied as he picked up your cup and gently handed it back to you.
You took another sip before responding.
âI guess youâre right. These classes came in a bundle from the studio pass Shoko gifted me. Four sessions remain on it, so Iâll try to see those through,â youâd sighed, stifling your slight deflation. âIâd hate to see these go to waste.â
And so, with this in mind, youâd dragged yourself to your class the following week.
And to the next one.
And to the one after that.
The more sessions you attended, the more you applied yourself, the easier it all came to you, became second natureâthe motions, the exercises, the pacing.
And as you did, the practice grew on youâthe movements resonated more, leaving you feeling a strengthened connection between your body and your mind, one that had you feeling refreshed and more self-assured.
Before you knew it, the five introductory sessions had turned into a regular membership that saw you attending sessions on a weekly, sometimes even twice-weekly cadence.
Pleasant and pleasingâthatâs what Pilates was to you now.
Nanami was convinced that heâd noticed the changes long before you did.
After your third week, your posture had remarkably straightened.
By the sixth week, your core drew in tighter.
Almost three months in, and the curve of your glutes lifted higher and firmer, in a way that made his hands utterly itch whenever you walked by him.
And yet somehow, Nanami refrained from bringing this up with you directly.
Somewhere along the way, heâd persuaded himself that youâd remained oblivious to his lingering gazes.
Sometime later, he would come to realize how mistaken he was in this assumption and to comprehend the full extent of your perceptiveness.
âHey, you!â Shoko called out to you as soon as you walked into the Jujutsu Tech break room, her tone edging just over its usual lackadaisical. âAvoiding me, are you?â
âOh, uh, I believe Iâm being summoned for a mission or something!â you said as you took slow, theatrical backward steps, feigning an escape from the room.
âDonât give me that. Get in here.â She gestured to the empty seat next to hers. âI was seriously considering reporting you for failing to show up for your annual physical.â
âI love you, Dr. Ieiri, but you need to understand that Iâd rather take on a thousand fly heads than subject myself to another nasal swab,â you replied as you approached her and placed your packed sandwich on the table.
âRight⌠Remind me again, what grade sorcerer are you?â
âThere are things far more unpleasant than curses, Shoko, and the discomfort that lingers on me days after your swabs is one of them. I stand on that.â
A low voice emanated from the left corner of the room, one that you instantly recognized by its low timbre and familiar cadence.
Sure enough, Nanami was seated at a table at the far back, quietly speaking into his phone. Despite appearing to be in deep conversation, you still perceived the twinkle of recognition cross his expression, the softening of his eyes as they locked yours, and the small greeting he mouthed before reverting back to his usual measured composure as he responded to his interlocutor.
You responded with a quick, small wave, and a quiet warmth unfurled from your chest upon spotting his empty sandwich wrapper, identical to yours, and that youâd prepared and packed for him that very morning.
You turned towards a nearby counter to help yourself to a few napkins before heading back to your seat but cautiously halted in your tracks when you found Shoko fixing you with a curious expression on her face.
âYou look really good today,â she declared.
âYou look really good always,â you replied with a bashful chuckle.
âNo, seriously. Maybe itâs because I havenât seen you in a while, but⌠Your body looks great! What have you been doing?â
âNothing too special, I fearâŚâ
âFirst, you avoid our appointments, and now youâre egregiously gatekeeping things from me? Is this what itâs like to have a friendship on the rocks?â she said in a halfhearted tone that betrayed the falsity of her vexation.
âI resent that accusation, Shoko!â you lamented. âI donât know. Iâm eating the same, sleeping the same, training the sameâŚâ you trailed off. âWell, Iâve also been attending Pilates over the past months, thanks to you.â
âWell, Iâve attended the same studio for months, and I certainly havenât seen those kinds of results,â she said as she pointedly gave you a once-over. âDo a twirl for me?â
âShokoâŚâ your warning came in a playfully hushed tone, as your eyes darted quickly towards Nanami to gauge just how much of all this he might have heard. You found him with his brow now furrowed, still deeply engrossed in his conversation.
âWhat? Itâs literally only your target audience present,â she said with a smirk as you shook your head, and turned to face the counter, trying to decide whether the unwise caffeine intake from the coffee you were contemplating making would be worth the distraction.
âYour legs and butt look so damn good,â Shoko continued, as she pointed towards you. âMaybe you have to tell me who the good instructors are. Youâre still doing reformer, right? How do you like it?â
âI do reformer once or twice a week. Iâve also incorporated at-home workouts by following instructional videos. And yeah, I think itâs good now! For a long time, I didnât think I was suited for it.â
âWell, you are suited to it, and it suits you.â
âIâm still bad at some of the moves. The progressive roll up one? You know the one.â
âThe one where youâre supposed to peel off the mat one bit at a time? Donât worry, I still can only make it about halfway before I collapse wheezing.â
You snickered as you placed a capsule in the coffee machine. âOh, or the one where you do a bridge, and then get into the pulses.â
âHold at the top and lift your hips higher,â said Shoko in a chippy tone that undoubtedly imitated a very specific instructor she had in mind. âTheyâre already high, why do I have to do more work?â
âIf you want me to pulse higher, Iâll need someone to hold me through it,â you piled on.
âAnd talk me through it. And maybe buy me dinner at this point.â
You chortled as you carefully brought your cup to Shokoâs table.
âThe ones I do at home, Iâm a lot more comfortable with. Iâm less self-conscious, and I really get into the flow. Between the four walls of my room, I can really let loose,â you added, mimicking a thrusting movement as you did.
A thudding sound cut through the near-empty break room, sharp enough to make you glance up towards its source. You looked up in time to find Nanamiâs fingers fretting along the wooden table where his porcelain cup must have hit harder than intended. As he kept talking, his focused demeanor never faltered, his placid expression remaining steady.
You turned toward Shoko, eyebrows raised as you slowly took a seat beside her.
âHeâs on the phone with Gojo,â she plainly stated, answering your question before you verbalized it. âHeâs been pestering him all morning about the mission on which theyâre taking the first years tomorrow, keeps calling him his co-chaperone or something.â
âClassic Gojo,â you replied, before finally taking a first bite of your sandwich.
âWhatâs classic me?â Gojoâs clamorous voice boomed into the room as he walked in.
Both you and Shoko glanced up at him, finding him having already all but closed the distance separating the entrance from your table in a few long strides.
âAnything I can help with?â Gojo asked as he leaned down closer to your level. âOr do you two just miss me so much?â
âShoko was just telling me that it was you on the phone with Nanami,â you offered. âBut I guess thatâs no longer the case, since he seems to still be on his callâŚâ You trailed off, pointing your chin toward the blonde sorcerer.
You glanced back at Shoko, whose eyebrows lifted briefly before dropping into a frown as she kept her eyes on Gojo.
From here, everything unfolded with a quiet swiftness.
âOh wait, but I was just on the call wiââ Gojo started.
âGojo-san,â Nanami cut him off unexpectedly, an underlying urgency breaching through his impassive tone as he put an abrupt end to his call. âYou should really learn to modulate your volume, even in the break room.â
âWhat? I wasnât even that loud this time, was I?â Gojo glanced back to you and Shoko for validation.
With curiosity in her eyes, you noticed Shokoâs head tilt as she observed Nanami.
âAfter all these years, do you really think Gojo has acquired anything that could pass as an inside voice?â Her words earned her an expression of mock offence from Gojo, which she expertly pretended not to notice. âHopefully, we didnât distract you too much at the end there, Nanami⌠That call seemed pretty important.â
âIt was fine,â Nanami tersely replied, something unreadable in his eyes, and you couldnât help but feel that he was averting your gaze.
âReally? So, who were you talking to?â queried Gojo, now visibly set on pestering his friend. âCome sit with us and tell us about it!â
âMy break is almost over,â Nanami quickly said, equally intent on avoiding becoming the next victim of Gojoâs tormenting.
âWell, that didnât sound like much of a break. Are you heading back to your office? Iâll walk you back, you know, like the kind senpai I am,â Gojo quipped, honing in on his target.
âNo need to do thatâŚâ
âI insist!â Gojo said as he shot back up again and moved to intercept Nanamiâs attempted escape.
Nanamiâs eyes finally met yours for the first time in this encounter, and though his demeanor was otherwise unruffled, you could detect a subtle disquiet in his eyes that suggested anything but, even as he shot you an apologetic smile.
âSee you later?â you returned, to which he responded with one of his signature nods while Gojo responded with a wide wave.
As it stood alone, Nanamiâs behavior wasnât terribly out of the ordinary. On the surface, it didnât present anything that would be too much of an outlier from the manifestations of a reserved man avoiding the spotlight put on by his friendâs badgering at his place of work.
But you knew better.
For a couple of weeks now, youâd observed this pattern of behavior, begun drawing correlations between cause and effect, from the deep inhales Nanami would sometimes take when you found yourself in his close proximity, to the more obvious peeping heâd engage in when he thought you werenât lookingâall small yet damning indicators that showed the disruptive power you were having on your man. Heâd been subjected to your subtle yet steadfast testing of different scenarios and conditions until you began truly honing in on what you now knew to be the true source of his oddly specific affliction.
You didnât quite understand why he avoided it so much, but you sure relished the fact that he did. If it hadnât both endeared and thrilled you the way it did, you would have confronted him directly with all this eons ago.
But where would be the fun in that?
A few days later, you halted just before the office door, adorning the familiar metallic nameplate displaying Nanamin-sensei in bold letters, one that elicited the fond memory of the night Gojo had gleefully presented it to Nanami during a spirited staff outing a couple of years prior.
âIâm not a teacher,â you remembered Nanami correcting Gojo at the time, his tone cool in contrast with the loud, raucous ambiance of the izakaya at which youâd all gathered that evening. And while time had long since flipped that declaration on its head, it was the gradual manner by which this eventually came to be ended up being among the initial things that intrigued you the most about Nanami Kento, that certain nameless quality that spoke to his tendency to play the unaffected straight man all the while concealing his quieter, more understated inclinations.
But not even the 7:3 sorcerer could be inoculated from being gradually unearthed by the person who was determined to love him the most and who was, therefore, committed to know him the best.
And by now, you knew him quite well, a lot more than heâd estimated, you suspected.
You took a moment to compose yourself, mindlessly bringing a finger to your mouth as you fought to contain the mischievous smile tugging at its corners.
Nanamiâs door was already ajar, so you only gave it a quick knock before promptly popping your head through the gap.
âHey!â you quipped.
âHey yourself,â he replied, tearing his eyes from his screen just as he finished what he was typing, and before his stern features melted into a soft smile as his eyes met yours and he beckoned you inside.
âOh, I wonât stay long⌠I was just wondering if youâd like to train together?â
At this, Nanami raised an inquisitive brow.
âTrain together?â he repeated, his eyes narrowing, a flicker of something indecipherable.
âYeah! You know, maybe a quick session of drills or exercises?â You were exerting a great amount of effort to maintain as casual a demeanor as possible, not an easy feat considering the peculiarity of your proposition.
âWhat kind of exercises? And did you mean now?â he asked, as he quickly glanced down at his watch.
âWell, donât get too enthusiastic, Nanami-san. Only if youâre up for it, of course,â you replied, deliberately sidestepping the first portion of his line of questioning.
âI am up for it. Iâm just a bit surprisedâŚâ he trailed off, leaning back slightly into his chair. âTrying something new?â
âTrying something different,â you solemnly said, fighting to conceal the mirth threatening to slip through your words behind a small smile. âYouâve got my back, right?â
âOf course,â he said, albeit a bit distracted, and you watched as his eyes searched yours, scrutinizing for the brief moment it took him to accept that you were being sincere. The last vestiges of suspicion seemed all but gone when he quickly glanced at his computer screen. âCan you give me about fifteen more minutes?â
âSure thing, Nanami-san. Iâll go change and wait at the training grounds, the one by the east entrance?â
If your intonation suggested a question, you certainly didnât grant Nanami the chance to answer it as you scampered out of his office, leaving him surprised, off-guard, slightly confusedâexactly how you needed him to be.
It would remain unbeknownst to Nanami that your spontaneity on that fateful mid-afternoon was pure illusion. That it was only after youâd meticulously navigated through the potential scheduling conflicts that might have otherwise interfered with the session you were hoping to have with him that your long-simmering spirit of instigation finally found its opening.
Youâd arduously sought a moment when he would be free of meetings, one when he was on duty but not on call, and when you knew that heâd be on campus and not away mentoring one of the students. Thanks to your careful coordination and with your privileged closeness with Nanami, youâd gleaned his calendar for the best time to execute your little ploy.
And that time was now.
The training room located on the east side of the school grounds was one of a kind. The smallest of the three on campus, it was a cross between a gym and a multipurpose conditioning roomâperfect for individual or smaller groups or for impromptu drop-in sessions that didnât require a dedicated reserved space.
The back wall was lined with common exercise equipment, facing a large bay window that offered a delightful view of one of the campus courtyards. There sat a rowing machine, two stair masters, and four treadmills, one of which was currently occupied by someone you vaguely recognized to be one of the newer assistant managers, engaged in a light jog.
In the corner, just across the storage room, was a modest free weights area with walls lined by mirrors, where two younger trainee sorcerers appeared to be pushing through a spirited routine.
Punctual as ever, Nanamiâs arrival exactly fifteen minutes after youâd spoken brought the total number of attendees to five.
Manageable, you thought, as your worries about whether the room would be overcrowded alleviated.
You took in Nanamiâs appearance as he approached youâheâd traded his usual suit for a black, short-sleeved shirt and dark gray sweatpants, complemented by a pair of white sneakers. Although youâd woken up to the sight of variations of this ensemble on numerous occasions as he went on his early morning runs, there was something about the juxtaposition of him in this outfit while on campus, some subtle disruption in the blurring line between Nanami on the clock and his more casual, off-duty version that brought a certain exciting rareness and novelty to all this.
It occurred to you that you must have been staring because Nanami raised an inquisitive eyebrow as he reached you, subtle indentations still appearing beneath his eyes where his signature frames no longer sat.
âSoâŚâ he said, trailing off into a pause. His lingering gaze betrayed the evenness of his voice as he gave the subtle once-over youâve been eagerly awaiting all morningâhis reaction to what was now your go-to workout fit had come like clockwork.
Consisting of a pair of your favorite high-waisted V-shaped leggings that tastefully accentuated your curves, along with an oversized crop top whose hem youâd tucked at the front into your waistline, added shape without being too tight-fitting. Youâd been discreetly working on it for weeks, much like a lab scientist running a controlled experimentâcareful observation, tentative hypotheses, and repeated trials until you found the key to his sweet, now predictable reaction, and the catalyst that fuelled your bolstered confidence.
âWhat are you thinking?â Nanami spoke again as he brought a hand to his hip.
âWhat am I thinking?â you repeated, caught slightly off guard, working quickly to refocus on the task at hand.
âYou mentioned drills and exercises,â he clarified pointedly. âAnything specific you had in mind?â
Nanamiâs gaze finally met yours again, his query dancing in his eyes as you let out a contemplative hum, pretending to give earnest consideration to what was very much a premeditated answer.
âIâm thinking endurance.â
Your gaze deliberately lingered on his as you enunciated the last word before reaching for the two rolled-up exercise mats youâd leaned against the wall behind you and lobbing one towards Nanami, who caught it effortlessly. You maintained eye contact as you walked past him, perceiving confusion on his face, and headed towards the unoccupied corner of the matted floor area.
âEndurance?â you heard him repeat over your shoulder as he followed you.
âYeah, you know, sustained core strength, inner muscle control,â you turned around, walking backwards as you locked eyes with him, âstamina.â
Nanami remained facially impassive, but you saw them there, in his hand promptly balling into a loose fist and in the stuttering breath of his next inhaleâthe surefire signs of the impact of your words on him.
By now, there was no suppressing your gleeful smile.
âSo, how do you feel about trying a quick Pilates flow?â You said, casual as ever. âIt should only take about fifteen minutes.â
You watched as he surreptitiously lifted his head, scanning the room and lingering where the few other attendees were situated, eyes narrowing as though making some sort of calculation in his mind before fixing you with a small, knowing smile.
âOh, so this is what youâre roping me into?â he asked, his voice lower both in volume and in tone.
âIâm not roping you into anything!â you replied, raising two hands with feigned innocence before quickly adding, âWeâll cover basic moves, and Iâll be your guide. You trust me, right?â
âThis is how, where, and when you want me to try Pilates for the first time?â
âOh, so you donât trust me?â you asked, crouching down and busying yourself in unrolling your mat.
âI trust you're up to no good,â he concluded, but mirrored you regardless by rolling out his own mat adjacent to yours.
âIt will only be good, I promise,â you murmured before clearing your throat. âAlright, Nanami-san, lie down on your back,â you said without further preamble, loud enough to be heard by whoever could be listening, and taking on a sudden instructional tone.
Nanami suspiciously eyed you as you lay flat on your back, all nonchalant, before he quietly obliged.
âWeâll go through only three exercises,â you started, staring at the ceiling. âRemember, thereâs no rush. Pilates is less about quick and high-impact movements and more about internal muscle engagement. Itâs all about structure, form, and repetition. Itâs about building up your endurance. And throughout it all,â you paused, taking a deep inhale through your nose and slowly exhaling through your mouth as you turned towards Nanami, causing him to turn away from his fixed point on the ceiling and to glance down to his side at you, âbreath control. So just follow my lead, okay?â
At this, Nanami reluctantly nodded.
âGood, now bring your feet flat on the ground and bend your knees.â
You glanced over again at Nanami as he proceeded as instructed. You choked down a laugh at the state you found him in: facing the ceiling with his eyebrows furrowed, movement stiff as though he was already exerting the utmost effort.
âDonât flare your ribs, and try to pretend youâre relaxed, Kento,â you murmured.
He gave you a furtive side glance. âI am relaxed.â
âYouâre stiff as a board, but thatâs okay. You feel this here?â you asked as you brought your hand to the small of your back, sliding it along its natural curve.
Nanamiâs eyes glanced down, following your movement, and you swore you could see his breath slightly hitch before he brought a hand to his own back, mirroring your movement.
âOkay, good. Youâll inhale and then on the exhale, draw your lower back into the mat, like a slow pull from inside.â
Nanami did as you directed, his eyes still on your back before they moved to your eyes.
âGood, now inhale and release,â you said, maintaining eye contact.
You both inhaled at the same time. âExhale and pull in, just have your back gently connect with the mat, not too abruptly. Now inhaleâŚâ
Nanami followed your lead. He was quiet, focused, perhaps too focused on you, you realized. You broke his gaze and looked up towards the ceiling.
âYou got itâthis is called your imprint. This brings awareness to your pelvic posture. Letâs do ten more,â you said, unable to contain the smirk playing at your lips.
âYou sound so pleased about this,â he said, breaking his momentary silence.
âIâm just really happy youâre finally trying Pilates.â
He scoffed. âYou say that as though Iâve been resisting it.â
âYou havenât?â
âYou never even proposed it to meâŚâ
âOh, is that what you were waiting for? For me to propose it to you? And exhale...â
To this, Nanamiâs own steady, synced breathing was all he offered for response, his damning silence only further roused you.
After quietly carrying on the remainder of your set, you reset by shimmying closer to Nanami, your hands now almost brushing.
âNext, weâll do leg circles. Just mirror me, okay?â you breathed as you slowly lifted your leg up towards the ceiling, and began turning your foot in slow circles.
âKeep your hips steady, and your movements precise. Youâre a precise guy, right?â you added as you glanced over at him with a playful look.
Nanamiâs eyes narrowed as they glided sideways, a warning look you recognized too well whenever he was on the receiving end of your more provocative teasing.
âOkay, letâs slow down a bit,â you said, emphasizing your instruction by bringing your movement down to a languid, much slower-than-necessary pace.
When you peeked over at him once more, you could distinguish the strain manifested by the slight wince at the corner of his eyes as he kept up.
âMatch my pace, Kento,â you all but whispered.
Nanamiâs foot faltered, and for a second, it looked like he was going to lose his balance. He brought his hands down beside him, readjusting himself. You waited right until he found your steady pace before moving to throw him off again.
âOkay, now switch directions,â you suddenly ordered. âLetâs go counterclockwise.â His leg wobbled as he was caught off guard, lightly bumping into yours before he steadied himself.
You fought to suppress a smile, but Nanami didnât need to see it to call you out on your mischief.
âEnjoy this now while it lasts,â he mumbled.
âEnjoy what?â
âMessing with me,â he replied.
âSlow and steady, Nanami. Focus on your form.â The evenness of your tone notably mismatched the mischievousness of your non-response.
A light scoff emanated from Nanami.
You only spoke again after running through the same exercise with your other foot.
âOkay, letâs reset. Feet down, palms flat to the side,â you softly instructed as you snuggled ever so slightly closer to Nanami, your shoulders nearly touching by now. You could tell he noticed, and you watched him open his mouth as if he were going to comment, but he refrained from doing so at the last moment.
âOkay, weâre doing shoulder bridges now. Peel off one vertebra at a time, gently⌠lift⌠like this,â you said as you slowly lifted yourself off the mat, slowly thrusting upwards until your body formed a straight diagonal line from your knees down to your shoulders.
âNow slowly roll down the same way, one at a time. This oneâs good for the glutes and the hamstrings. Also abs,â you added with a giggle.
You turned, and your eyes met right then, and you found his to be clouded with the exact mix of curiosity and disquiet that youâd eagerly anticipated all week.
âYou said this is for your training purposes,â Nanami said, more a question than a statement.
âRight, it is,â you offered before promptly resuming your guiding instructions. âInhale and upâŚâ
You both lifted your hips in sync.
âBut you really donât need me for any of this, do you?â he posed.
âWell, that really depends on what you mean by âneedâ, Nanami⌠Ribs down, slowlyâŚâ you said as casually as you possibly could, now struggling to maintain your own focus. You knew that there would be no recovery if you allowed him to distract you.
âTechnically, I could leave now,â he mused, the words escaping his lips as if he were mentally tracing the solution of a complex enigma.
âSure, technically,â you said as you lowered yourself back onto the mat before peering at him. âBut I donât think you will.â
Nanami furtively glanced down towards your hips and then back at you.
âScratch that, I know you wonât,â you doubled down before he could speak again, poking a finger at his rib. âBecause I know that youâre a man who always finishes what he starts.â
In hindsight, perhaps this is truly where it began. His response to your playful dare. Perhaps this is the exact moment the neurons activated in Nanamiâs brain, reigniting this chain reaction of stimuli that had seen its inception long before this session, the one that heâd tried to mask behind some arbitrarily drawn line of decorum.
Perhaps you would have noticed it then, the determined glint that traveled through his eyes, were you not caught up in an enthralment of your own as you took your turn to look down at his hips, at his form, finding him surprisingly well-positioned, closely synced, his movement well contained. Whatever mental battle he was engaged in, heâd managed to seclude to the mental, leaving his body controlled, almost aggressively so.
âOkay, one more exercise,â you said after getting through the rest of your perfectly synchronized set. âThen Iâll let you go, promise,â you bashfully added.
âJust when we are beginning to have fun,â Nanami quietly mused.
âExactly,â you replied, smirking at the unsuspecting veracity of his words.
âReset to your imprint. Weâll do pelvic curls now, great for mobility. Something like thisâŚâ
You inhaled deeply, and on the exhale, you tilted your pelvis and began peeling your spine off the mat in a slow and deliberate way, much like the bridge, but this time keeping your hips on the floor.
And then you did it againâtilted your head ever so slightly, just to catch Nanamiâs eye, to see how he was faring.
Sure enough, Nanami was watching you, intently so.
Not unlike the countless times heâd been watching when you took up a corner of his living room, following along with a workout video, or the several times youâd caught him checking you out even more than usual.
It was a gesture youâd seen him enact several times, and the more often he did it, the easier it was to discern whether he was unaware he was doing it or pretending that he wasnât. In any case, it was always endearing, often amusing, and right now, it was the most empowering feeling in the world.
You beamed at him as you curled back down and watched his throat bob as his eyes traveled from your own to your pelvic movement, back up to your eyes again. You saw him freeze for the half-second it took for him to discern the pattern of your movement.
You were close enough to hear his breath stutter on the next exhale. Quick learner as he is, Nanami met you on your next curl up, syncing with your rhythm as you extended out in a thrust before melting back down into the mat.
You kept going at thisâa move so minimal, so subtle in appearance yet so controlled and fluid. His eyes narrowed on yours in absolute focus, all challenge and determination, and for the first time this afternoon, it was you who felt yourself wavering under the heaviness of his gaze as you curled up and down, up and down. It was now you who felt a warm, fizzing sensation trickling down your spine under the intense look he was giving you.
But then you noticed themâthe tips of his ears, completely reddened.
It pulled you back to the moment, to your mission. The next time your hips reached the top together, you let a quiet breath slip out, half sigh, half a sound of satisfaction.
If he faltered in his gaze, eyes flicking to the ceiling above you, it did not show in his movementâNanami had maintained his surprisingly impeccable form along with your steadily balanced rhythm.
âGood stuff,â you said. âI love it when weâre in sync.â
You start to lower again, way slower than necessary, rolling down your spine one vertebra at a time. âSlower⌠Stay in controlâŚâ you whispered, your breath hitting his shoulder.
Silence filled the space between you, leaving only the monotonous background buzzing of the treadmill, the occasional sound of weights hitting against their metallic rack, and the punctual drag of Nanamiâs sweaty fingers gliding over the mat as they curled under the pressure of a slower, more excruciating descent.
Time couldâve slowed to an absolute crawl, and still, Nanami held on to his control. Still, he remained in sync with you.
You continued through your set, and by the time both your hips found the ground for the last time, Nanami was breathing unnaturally steadily, as though heâd calibrated himself completely to your rhythm in spite of its deliberately unpredictable variations.
âAlright, that took us to the end. Great work, Nanami-san,â you said, as you rose into a seated position before pushing yourself up to your feet. âDo you have time for some quick stretches?â
Nanami watched you for a measured moment before replying. âYes, Iâm sure stretching is important after allâŚâ he said.
âRight!â You reached your arm overhead, and you both slipped into the familiar set of stretches you usually did before your more conventional workouts together.
âHow did you find it?â you asked him after a moment, as you leaned into a hip flexor stretch.
âHow do you find I did?â While Nanamiâs face was still slightly flushed, its features carried a certain familiar lucidity, his tone finding its typical evenness again.
You snickered at his response.
âA non-answer, Kento? Was it really that bad?â
âYouâll have to tell me. I was clearly the one being evaluated here,â his words like a challenge, a reasserted footing in this charged back and forth you were now fully engaged in.
âI was not evaluatingâI was merely watching you. You know, just like youâve been watching me instead of your form?â a playful accusation as you switched to stretch your other leg.
âI thought you said I had good form,â he said, and you couldnât help but chuckle at his sincere defensiveness.
âYou do. I didnât say otherwise.â
âBesides, is it so wrong to observe my workout partner, especially when sheâs also my instructor for the day?â he pondered, tilting his head as he lifted his foot into a thigh stretch, his balance as steady as his gaze.
ââObservingâ, âinstructorâ, all these words and yet,â you murmured, rising to your feet and cocking your head to one side, âyouâve been observing me for far longer than Iâve been your instructor, havenât you?â
Nanami stood upright, just as you did. Then, too, your movements were inadvertently synced, like a silent dance, with Nanami rising the extra inches he had over you.
Even under your scrutiny, it was the short, unblinking stare he gave you that had your pulse flickering in your throat. Face tilted up, you were now in the waiting position, anticipating how or even if he was going to dodge out of this corner into which you'd gently coaxed him.
âHmm. Should I be apologizing for that?â he said, and the low tone of his indirect admission did little to pacify your jumpy nerves.
âNo apology necessary,â you replied, intent on focusing on steering this repartee back onto the path youâd meant to for weeks. âBut do tell me, o student mine, what have you observed?â you asked, emphasizing the last word.
You were trying so hard to keep your voice even, fighting to remain tethered to the upper hand that was threatening to slip through your fingers. The idea that youâd riled up Nanami enough for him to finally confront you on a matter heâd seemingly been avoiding for the better part of the last three months made way for an ardent, almost electric thrumming reverberating through your body.
âDo you want the short answer?â Nanami took one step closer to you, and if youâd previously doubted the tonal departure of this conversation, his eyes telegraphed that confirmation, and his words backed up the tension that was simmering between you.
You stared up at him, eagerly awaiting the second part of his question as it hung in the air.
âYour endurance is good,â he said, as he lifted his foot backwards to finish stretching his other thigh. âBut I can think of one area where it wonât necessarily translate, and I wonât be as lenient once we enter that arena,â he concluded, very matter-of-factly.
It was now Nanamiâs turn to observe you as the weight of his words settled within a deep part of your core, the one that was now fizzing with anticipation at their veiled meaning.
A loud sound emanated from the front of the room, towards the free weights corner, one of the trainees seemingly dropping one of their dumbbells onto the flooring. Itâs what finally snapped you both out of your exchange and reminded you of your surroundings.
âMaybe we can trade notes later tonight, Kento.â Emotion, adrenaline, and pure unfettered recklessness formed a most dangerous cocktail in your belly as you added, with a smile, âMaybe I have some feedback of my own."
As you quickly turned your head towards the storage room to fetch the cleaning materials to tidy up and wipe down your mats, you used the opportunity to take a moment, partly to steady your composure, partly to give yourself a mental pat on the back.
To qualify the walk back from the training room as energetically charged would be an understatement.
Only after youâd both turned the last corner out of the training area and ensured that you were safely out of the field of view from its large window, did you conspicuously slide closer to Nanami, making a point of peering up at him in an effort to catch his attention.
You were intent on making the most of the few minutes you had remaining before you and Nanami would inevitably have to split off to tend to your responsibilitiesâyou were still on the clock, after all. And yet, you didnât need a verbal reaction; his tensed jaw, his taut shoulders, and his distracted eyes that were visibly struggling to stay fixed ahead carried all the familiar hallmarks of your man riled up.
It was your turn to observe him now, and you smiled up at him teasingly as you watched him wrestle with the bait youâd laid out for him to take. Warmth spread through your chest as you took pleasure in knowing that your little program was going according to plan.
Right up until it wasnât.
Nanami unexpectedly took a sharp turn into an unfamiliar hallway, one that had him slightly bump into you in the process, leading you in a direction exactly opposite to the one youâd usually take to head back towards the main building.
âWell, this is certainly a longer way back to your office,â you commented.
To this, Nanami did not answer. You looked up at him again, expecting him to offer an explanation, but his gaze remained fixed as ever, long strides keeping his pace steady.
You were the one playing catch-up now.
âOr a detour to the showers?â you offered, still peering up at him, looking to the side, making a move to take the next right into the hallway you knew would take you towards them.
Nanami scoffed in return as he brought his hand to the small of your back, gently but firmly guiding you back onto his intended trajectory.
âThis is new,â you pushed again, now firmly ensconced in your growing restlessness at Nanamiâs silence, which screamed volumes.
âTrying something different,â he finally said, speaking for the first time in a minute, and peering down at you with a pointed look. His reference to your earlier comment in his office was not lost on youâhe was plotting something.
You quickly got to making a mental map of the east wing of the campus grounds, trying to pinpoint which of the least familiar areas this path would lead you towards. You were so flustered at this sudden change of plans, at this palpable energetic shift as Nanami momentarily took the lead in this little game that youâd dominated all afternoon.
Nanami finally stopped in front of one of the doors, all indicators pointing towards his being at the right place.
He knew good and well that he was acting upon a spontaneity that was almost premeditated, one that heâd at the very least prepared for, even without knowing when his opportunity would hit, but trusting that heâd spot it when it inevitably did.
And spot it he didâas soon as youâd waltzed into his office earlier that afternoon, with a look in your eyes that spelled nothing but trouble.
The word echoed through his mind as he reached down into the right pocket of his joggers, producing the keycard heâd fished from his drawer before he left his office after your unusual proposition, leaving him with only one thought in his mind.
Trouble.
âWhat was that?â came your voice, piercing through the hazy wandering of his mind. As the curiosity in your eyes and the faint echo of his own voice lingered, it was only now that Nanami realized that heâd verbalized at least the last part of his train of thought out loud.
âYour scheming will get us in some trouble one day,â Nanami said, only slightly louder than what heâd imagined heâd mumbled before.
He returned his attention to the door as he brought his keycard to the sensor, after which he was met with a prompt requiring a six-digit code, which he began punching in the easy code heâd committed to memory weeks ago.
âAnd is that day today?â you asked, voice low.
By now, youâd sidled yourself next to him, close enough for him to feel your warm breath brushing against his bare forearm, for him to be able to discern through his peripheral vision that your eyes were on him, and to sense you watching him intently.
Rarely rattled, Nanami felt himself expending an inordinate amount of effort in holding himself together, an effort that perhaps came at the expense of his own focus as he was met by a sudden, sharp beep from the lock, signalling a wrong code.
Shit, he thought. The possible scenarios flitted through his mind. Input error, erroneous code memorized, the wild card Gojo Satoru presentedâŚ
âKento, where is thisââ
âDonât ask,â the words slipped out before he could hang on to them, a reflexive shield lifted before your question could completely strike him. He took a deep breath before trying the code heâd memorized once more, hoping that he had it right.
His silent prayer was answered as the lock clicked open, the door giving way under his grip as he pushed it open.
The first thing he took notice of was the way the natural lightning spilled through the translucent curtains, illuminating a room whose layout was not dissimilar to the standard dorm issued to students. Having never made use of them himself, Nanami only had, until recently, a mere passing knowledge of this separate dormitory wing containing the lodging reserved for staff and visiting sorcerers or officials here on Jujutsu Society business.
But this? This was beyond what heâd expected.
The whole room carried a spaciousness and lavishness that stood outâa wide, fancy bed in the corner, a plush sofa, a large television screen fully equipped with the additions that could rival a small home theater. These premises leaned more towards a hotel room, one that was far fancier than the countless ones heâd found himself relegated to when he was traveling for work back in his salaryman days, one that Nanami couldnât possibly imagine being a line item in Jujutsu Techâs budget.
One that had all the markings of Gojo Satoruâs selective opulence.
âAlright thenâŚWhy did you bring me here?â
The sound of your voice felt like cold water on Nanamiâs fevered psyche.
His world narrowed back to the present, a force pulling him back to his current predicament, away from the nebulous memories onto which his mind was fruitlessly clinging, searching for a figment of anything that could prove that he wasnât always like this. That once upon a time, he wouldnât have even dreamed of entertaining the idea upon which he was about to impulsively act, and that there did exist a time when he wasnât so terribly taken by you, not so terribly down bad.
Inappropriate, unrestrained, flat-out greedy, and yet here he was, pivoting on his feet, turning around to find the source of the melodic voice well-laced with provocation belonging to the woman who had, in fact, made him like this. A moth to a flame is what he was willingly reduced to, even more so recently, with the palpable aura of self-confidence that seemed to take over you whenever you dressed, acted, and behaved like this.
And when his eyes connected with yours and you gave him that slow, knowing, igniting blink, further edging into his mind until his senses were filled with you, the truth rang out like a bell.
That by crossing over the threshold into that room, heâd also already crossed whatever line heâd drawn in his head. And that now, you had to come with. That now, he had to put up at least some semblance of a fight.
âDonât ask me that either,â he heard himself mouth the words just as his body moved, borderline yanking you towards him before crushing you against him.
By the time you heard the door click shut behind you, Nanami had already pressed your back against the wall, dexterously wedging you between it and himself with a quiet forcefulness that sent a shiver up your spine.
There it appeared, flaring at the edges of your mindâthe urge to do what you always did whenever Nanami Kento was worked up for you like this, to yield into his embrace and in every other possible way, to slip into your intimate dance whose moves you were all too eager to reenact.
But then you recalled your self-assigned mission.
In your mind, there was a planâa sensual, semi-scripted sequel to the encounter youâd just orchestrated in the training room.
There was to be an outfitâsimilar but distinct from your current one, a tastefully curated ensemble that pushed beyond the limits of what you would allow yourself to wear while on the clock.
There were supposed to be reenacted exercises, callbacks, and teasing banter masquerading as the âfeedback sessionâ youâd promised him moments ago.
There was supposed to be a timeâlater that evening, in that suspended moment of transition between work and the domestic routine youâd each slip into.
And finally, there was a placeâpredictable, along the lines of the usualâsomewhere within the comfortable confines of your home.
Youâd planned, and fate laughed, backfiring all over your intentions.
It was obvious now, as clearly as you could feel the rigid, searing warmth permeating even through the thick fabric of Nanamiâs joggers, palpably hardening against your bellyâthat your little scheme of a workout session had yielded a check for which you wouldnât be afforded the privileged preparation to cash.
And its currency? Trouble.
Your eyes darted to the side, breaking Nanamiâs gaze for the time it took for your eyes to register the actual place you were in right now, taking in the naturally lit room, gliding over the furnishings that appeared to be new and that were uncharacteristically sumptuous for Jujutsu Tech standards, before finally landing on the large plush bed in the towards the back corner of the room.
It was a sight that nearly made you forget that you were still technically on the Techâs premises, and the thought alone of the impropriety this reality presented sent a shimmering thrill from the depths of your mind, coursing through your blood before settling where you ached for Nanami the most.
âHaving second thoughts?â Nanamiâs grounding voice pulled you back to the moment.
When your eyes locked with his again, you found them narrowed, telegraphing something indecipherable as the corners of his mouth twisted down into a frown.
âSecond thoughts about what exactly?â you said, pushing him.
âYour endurance. Proving my theory wrong. All this,â he replied, and while his words called back to the teasing banter youâd engaged in while in the training room, his demeanor carried an air of newfound seriousness.
âWell, for starters, I really donât believe the burden of proof should rest on me,â you murmured, running a finger along where his left clavicle lay exposed, leaving a line of goosebumps in your wake.
âIâm asking if youâre truly up for this,â he said solemnly, pulling back a bit as he gently took your hand in his. âWe donât have toââ
âNow this just sounds like you want to back out,â you cut him off as you pressed your forehead to his, snaking your fingers through his hair as you slid a hand behind his head. You tried to pull his face down to yours, but still Nanami resisted, standing still as a rock as he raised a pointed eyebrow at you.
You understood it now that Nanami had truly perceived your brief pause as you took in your surroundings and that he would refuse to proceed without ruling out your hesitation or any kind of reluctance on your part, without your express approval.
His thoughtful consideration, even in the heat of this moment, only further fanned the flames of desire rising within and growing between you.
It was in moments like these that words failed you.
Because here you were, wrestling with finding the most succinct way to verbalize that your fantasizing of getting frisky with him on campus long predated your getting together, that many a boring staff meetings found you sitting across from Nanami during which your mind was in the absolute gutter, daydreaming about the different sins you and him could commit in the name of testing the conference tableâs sturdiness, and that though youâd both happily erred on the more routine side of things when it came to your habitual hook up locations, there always remained a non-negligible amount of curiosity within you at the prospect of occasionally tossing out your proverbial rulebook and to prove that true desires were often downstream from intrusive thoughts and that all thoughts were, by definition, once unthinkable.
So maybe the words didnât fail you.
Maybe you just failed in getting them out.
And maybe Nanami felt the same.
So instead, you just answered his immediate question.
âYes, Kento,â you huffed, the words coming out a lot more desperate than youâd intended as an undercurrent of urgency, and the urge to arch yourself to close the last few inches of distance that kept you apart overtook your playfulness. You emphasized your answer by digging your fingers deeper into his scalp, hoping that your certain reassurance registered with him by now, before you added for crystal clarity, âYes, Iâm sure about us fucking in this undisclosed room on campus while weâre on the clock.â
Needless to say that there was no wrong answer to Nanamiâs question, but if his reaction to your unexpectedly bold words was any indicationâa few heavy blinks accompanied by a slight shudder as his body moved towards you again before his mind could command itâyou could now confirm with certainty that you were both on the same page.
Your breath mingled with Nanamiâs as his lips parted, and finally, he yielded; finally your lips brushed. You felt his mouth tugging into a smile as much as you did the low, satisfied hum that vibrated through you. An electric current thrummed beneath your surface, your kiss first igniting as something exploratory, tentative, like playing a familiar song just half a beat slower than it should be.
Nanamiâs right hand found your left shoulder, now laid bare just where your shirtâs neckline had slid aside, his fingers caressing with the mesh texture of your sports bra, venturing lower and lower down your chest with each pass. His left arm banded tightly around you, a steady hand holding you at the small of your back, pressing you up where your bodies were already flush against one another, in a way that made your insides ache with need.
âI can think of one area where your endurance wonât necessarily translate...â
It was just as his tongue slid into your mouth that Nanamiâs defiant words echoed through the fogginess of your mind, right on cue to tether you to the reckless yet grounding spirit of instigation seated deep within you, to the force that had allowed you to venture this far into your playful scheming, and that now sought to see this little game youâd both slipped into through to completion and to victory. You clung to this desire, arduously so, not unlike a climber would to an icy, treacherous mountainside, every inch a true test of your tenuous grasp on your own will.
Nanami was now rocking against you, slow and subtle, instinctively mirroring the rhythmic movement his tongue was engaged in. By now, his hardness prominently protruded between you, prompting you instinctively to pull at the soft locks of hair, eliciting, in turn, the deepest of groans to reverberate through his chest.
You thought it also to be instinct that dictated the way his hand gently glided to tangle into your hair, fingers weaving through your soft, silk-pressed strands that were once painstakingly tied into a neat top bun with the express and practical purpose of keeping it in place during your little training session. And here you were now, about to embark on a different kind of physical challenge, with not an idea nor a care for how messy your hair would become.
Nanami let go of your lips for the moment it took to catch his breath, a brief moment of reprieve during which your lips weakly formed themselves around his name, your only cryptic warning for what would be your next move.
You kicked off your shoes before you inched yourself even closer and wrapped your arms around his neck, and when Kento tried to close his lips over yours again, you lowered your head before he had the chance, flexing your legs at the knees before hoisting yourself up to wrap and lock your legs around his waist.
Effortlessly, Nanami caught you, just like you knew he would, shifting his weight to recapture his balance as he held you underneath your thighs to carry you.
You peppered his face with slow, feverish pecks over his temples and his forehead, onto his cheeks and the tip of his nose as he slowly made his way backwards towards the bed, and as soon your feet came into its proximity, you planted your heels onto the mattress, and used your combined body weights to push forward and send Nanami tumbling down onto his back, with you following closely, conveniently landing squarely on his crotch with a bounce.
Your moan followed his groan.
Absent anything more suitable, you blurted out the first thought that came to mind, wielding it as your paltry defence.
âYou donât mind my manhandling you a bit, do you, Kento?â you said brightly, a nervous giggle bubbling up your chest and escaping your lips with a small quiver.
âI enjoy it as much as I suspect you do,â he said, unceremoniously reaching one hand up and into both the waistband of your leggings and that of your underwear, sending three of his fingers to brush up against your folds.
Only a few languid strokes at your entrance sufficed for his digits to gather the evidence that would support his hypothesis, causing you to tilt your hips up reflexively and to squirm against his intensified touch.
His eyes met yours, something of vindication sparkling in them.
âYouâre like this already, my love? Here I thought youâd last loââ
Nanami cut off abruptly as you moved, a small controlled swivel of your hips.
Bucking up against his hand, you chased.
Pulling his hand away, he retreated.
A ruthless tease.
Without breaking in your rhythm nor your gaze, you ground down against the rigid length of him, telegraphing your continued intention of holding up for as long as it would take as your gazes met.
The flickering you found in Nanamiâs eyes had you faltering as you took in the duality of his disposition. The way he leaned onto his elbows gave him a cavalier allure, one of a challenge and determination heâd usually reserve while in the thick of a mission. And yet, there was also something placidly reverent in his demeanor, manifested in the way he tilted his head up to watch you through the strands of hair that fell over his face, decidedly disheveled in the wake of the frantic raking of your fingers.
Like he was yielding to you.
A thrill formed in your belly and fizzed through your veins, setting off small ignitions throughout your nervous system along the way. The incipient power that saw its inception several weeks prior, when youâd first noticed Nanamiâs lingering gaze as youâd unexpectedly switched sides during one of your at-home Pilates sets and caught him off guard, had now reached fever pitch as you towered over him as he gazed up at you, dark pupils swallowing up hazel irises.
Nanami Kento was visibly in rare form today.
But then again, so were you.
Reinvigorated by the scrumptious sight below, you rose onto your knees, just enough to gain access to his waistband yet just low enough to keep the punctual soreness of your muscles, strained once during yesterdayâs reformer Pilates session, then again during the earlier session you had with Nanami at bay. He kept his eyes on yours as you heard his shoes land unceremoniously on the ground and as he lifted his hips to grant you ease of access to ease his bottoms down and off of him. You broke his stare as the new object of your fixation captured your attention, thickly erect.
Damn, did your stomach clench at the sight of him.
Nanami pushed himself up against his elbows, raising himself into a seated position, and his hands found the sides of your hips before his fingers slid underneath your waistband once more. He brought his face to your neck, running his nose up and down its column as he worked to free you from your own clothing.
âRemind me of your theory again?â you barely managed to breathe out between pants, your hail mary attempt at breaking the incredible tension fizzing between you as your sweet man took his sweet time, cool fingers deliberately brushing over your scorching skin. âEndurance something? I donât think you wereââ you cut off when he paused over one particular area of your neck, leaving a gentle, lingering, open-mouthed kiss on your skin.
You swallowed thickly and pulled back for the brief moment it took to readjust yourself, lifting one foot at a time as you allowed him to gently tug your leggings and underwear off you. âI donât think you were incredibly clear on the specificsâŚâ
You trailed off as you noticed Nanami being particularly focused on where he held your underwear, still nestled into your pants the way youâd worn them. Your eyes followed where his were fixed, and you noticed it right away, the wet, creamy patch where your slick had settled.
You watched as Kento slowly, pointedly lifted his gaze to yours.
âIs it truly worth revisiting the rules of a game Iâve already won?â he asked, his tone tinged by his smirk.
If your newfound exposure to the contrastingly cooler air hadnât rendered you sensitive enough, Nanamiâs confident words only further exacerbated the liquid heat that grew between your thighs. You couldnât help the nervous gulp that rose in your throat as you struggled to maintain your composure.
âOh, so itâs a game now, is it?â you said with another jittery chuckle.
âSays the one who started it,â he replied distractedly as he busied himself with folding the indicting piece of undergarment before reaching to place it on the corner of the bed just behind you.
It took you a moment to register that he was moving to do the same with your leggings, and all you could do was nervously chuckle in disbelief as you witnessed Nanami solemnly enact an act of such propriety in the middle of all this, as if it were the most normal thing in the world to be playing hooky at work, to sneak away into some remote, fancy, unused dorm room to act upon your most primal of urges like a couple of hormonal teenagers.
It wouldâve been absolutely absurd if you werenât ten toes down for it.
âAll of this off a little Pilates, Kento?â you murmured, verbalizing your slight bewilderment.
You didnât wait for his reply before sliding your hands underneath his shirt, cool fingers ghosting over the warm, coiled muscles of his abdomen and up the flat, sparsely hairy planes of his chest. Your eyes made contact once more, your gaze only momentarily interrupted when you peeled his shirt over his head and off of him.
Now fully bare, Nanami moved to reach down for the hem of your shirt, but you swiftly placed your hands on his shoulders and tipped him over before he got the chance to go any further, watching him land unceremoniously on his back. Whatever retort heâd reserved for you palpably fizzled off his tongue as he watched you straddle him in earnest and as you flattened a hand right above his abdomen to steady yourself as you lowered yourself with unparalleled slowness and control, bringing your chest as flush as can be to his all while reaching your hand between you to find their grip on him.
A puff of air escaped Nanamiâs parted lips, followed by a low, throaty groan as your fingers glided up his shaft once, twice, then with a third leisurely pump before holding and aligning him to your entrance. You only broke his gaze to peer down at his lips as they moved to tell a wordless story through soft groans and intense breaths, a chronicling of his slow descent out of any semblance of aplomb.
And despite your best efforts to hold on to the slimming edge of control you had over him, Nanami surprised you by yielding to his growing impatience, breaching into you with a slight upwards angling of his hips, closing the ultimate distance between you once and for all.
You yelped in surprise, squirmed at the sudden invasion, at his thick head notching just past your entrance slightly before you expected it, leaving you gasping and throwing your head back at the stretching sensation.
A brief moment passed before you finally regained enough of your composure to refocus. You expected him to push further, anticipated him to bring his advance to completion, but with the sole exception being the rhythmic pounding pulse of his member against you, Nanami remained still as a statue.
You tilted your face downward to face him, a movement that inadvertently inched him ever so slightly deeper into you, igniting a scalding wave of heat to wash over you and eliciting a deep, breathy whimper to escape your lips, just as you peered down at your man.
Mouth slightly open and twisted at the corners, eyes shining with a familiar and knowing glintâNanamiâs expression carried a salacious slyness.
And if it wasnât enough of a signal for Nanamiâs message, he slowly brought his hands behind his head, settling into a comfortable position. And by now, there was no denying his smirk.
Itâs what finally made this longstanding, maddening, nameless pressure break within you, and like the lethal snap of an overstretched elastic, several weeks of restraint, countless reserves of relentless teasing youâd kept at bay returned with a roaring vengeance.
Perhaps Kento was right. This was a game, a long one at that, one in which you were deeply invested now more than ever, one that you certainly did not intend to give up at the eleventh hour.
Fueled by this accumulated energy, you tilted your hips, one swift motion to fully bury him into you.
You both moaned in relief. Nanami wasnât smirking anymoreâhis jaw was now gritted, eyebrows knitted together in strain. You quickly steadied yourself, inhaling on the full impact of his stretching, filling your lungs to the best of their capacity, and raggedly exhaling at the stretch and at the pressure.
Nanami uttered your name, something between a growl and a mumble, and it was all the fuel you needed.
You began rolling your hips, a slow and steady cadence, pulsing ever so slightly, ensuring that you didnât lift yourself up too high, finding purchase on his chest.
Inhale.
You remained close to his hilt, drawing on your lessons learned from your Pilates practice as you kept your core tight, focusing on your posture, engaging your pelvis, feeling empowered by a familiar strength in your body, propelling you to perform the way you needed it to. It didnât help that you could now hear Nanamiâs breathing growing more laborious, more intense, betraying his turbulence even as he tried and failed to fix you impassively.
Exhale.
Your heart rate picked up, inner walls clamping down and around him, as you sought to keep your own eyes focused on Nanami and on doing one of the things you did best, which was to read between the lines of this man. His eyes were darkened, reflecting the intensity of the moment, yet also attentive, carefully assessing your comfort in the way he always did, in the way that drove you insane.
Endurance.
You mentally repeated the word du jour to yourself. It took everything out of you not to slam yourself against him, not to reach forward and playfully pinch Kento on the cheek as you often did when you teased him, and to capitulate, to concede the game, and to ask him to forget all this, to just take you properly already.
But today you were in it for the long, literal ride, for the much-anticipated pleasure it would be to see to his undoing, to outlast him and to prove him wrong. You shifted at the thought, finding a new angle that felt oh so good, and you honed in on it, drawing small semicircles with your hips as you chased down the phrase at the end of this chord change. Pressure formed at the base of your spine, and the whimpers you were working to keep at bay mounted into earnest moans.
EnduranceâŚ
You were latching onto a word whose meaning was quickly slipping through your grasp as you began to feel the soreness of your legs, echoes of the in-studio reformer workout you had last night, of your session moments ago with Nanami, your core loosening slightly, your rhythm breaking on an irregular pace.
Nanami must have sensed this because he shifted beneath you, and you caught him just as his hands instinctively flew from where heâd loftily nested him behind his head moments ago and reached for your hips with the obvious intent of granting you the assistance he thought you needed.
You quickly shifted your weight backwards, launching yourself off of where youâd held onto him for balance just in time to catch Nanamiâs hands in each of yours, halting him mid-attempt. It was yet another move that offered you a new angle, one that hit you straight in a sensitive spot that had you mewling. You quickly tried to cover it up with speech.
âHaaa, keep your hands to yourself for a bit, sir,â you sighed, breathless as you kept rocking your hips back and forth, trying to maintain some semblance of stability.
âAre you sure you donât want my help?â Nanami huffed, interlacing his fingers with yours.
âHelp me lose, you mean?â you defiantly countered even as you squeezed both of his hands and leaned into him to shift your weight back to your hips.
âI want to helpâŚâ he trailed off, seemingly not fully there himself. You could sense him unraveling as well, could feel him engage in subtly shallow upward thrusts in an attempt to enforce his quicker, deeper strokes upon you, to open and rile you up further, a newfound vested interest in expediting your undoing, lest he be the first to fall.
You resisted his play at taking control by slowing down to a languid grind, pressing yourself down as far as you could, feeling him buried in your deepest core, in your belly. You were stretched beyond measure, to the point that you let out something of a laugh of disbelief that ended as a low whimper.
âControlled movements,â you spoke in between breaths, with no particular intention of completing that thought.
âControlâŚâ mumbled Nanami beneath you.
âControl,â you repeated, snapping your hips forward a little faster, âDo you feel in control, Nanami-san?â
âYouâre in control, my love,â he panted out. âYou have been for weeks.â
Nanamiâs hips bucked up as he said this, somehow digging himself even further than he already was, eliciting a shuddering moan from you.
âYeah?â you said, the strain in your voice reducing it to a whisper, shifting steadily as you slowly picked up the pace. âIs that why youâve been watching me so much lately?â
âI love to watch you at any time,â he said, reaching for your face.
âYouâre particularly taken with this whole thing, arenât you? Something about my newer workout habits?â
âYouâll have to be more specific.â
He thrust into you in earnest this time, causing you to moan loudly and arch deeply into him, legs now wobbling with warning. You didnât know how many more of those you could last.
âDonât do this, Kento,â trying and failing to hold a warning tone. âDonât cheat.â
âI canât help it, Iâm a precise guy,â he said, tone impassive but eyes glistening in mischief, flipping your earlier taunt back onto you. âAnd you can concede at any time, you know that, right?â
âWhat I know is that youâre holding back from me.â
âOh, how so?â he said as he caught your next gyrations with a hard thrust of your own, and this time you moaned into his hand, baring teeth as you fought the urge not to bite Nanami out of misplaced frustration.
Your entire plot seemed a little trivial now.
Youâd long since understood that you were both partial to the more subtle, actions-louder-than-words forms of expression, and for once, youâd thought you had something here, a little edge over the well-tempered, patient man that was Nanami Kento. For all of this talk you loved to dish out, you were having a hard time verbalizing what you were feeling, not only right this instant but every single time youâd caught him admiring you over the last few months.
He voiced his love and support for you constantly, his heartfelt words a consistently comforting reassurance. But there was a particular power held by the more inadvertent, less refined, and least controlled effects you knew to have on him. Even months into your relationship, even after countless hours of learning each otherâs minds and bodies, of partaking in intellectual bouts of banter that often ended with you naked in each otherâs arms, there was something deeper about feeling wanted by Nanami at the most basic, carnal level that clouded all reason, something that was simply so enchanting, so exhilarating, like a drug.
It gave you confidence, certainly. But confidence often waxed and waned, and suddenly you found yourself grasping at the vestiges of the glow that had carried you thus far.
âHey,â his voice cut in, edged with a bit of worry. âStill with me?â
You quietly nodded, smiling as you began to rock your hips harder now, determined to blot out the untimely shadow of doubt that had managed to sneak through your mind. Nanami gently extricated his fingers from yours and held you at the hips, and this time you let him. He didnât attempt to drive, nor push nor pull, but just held you as you found your hands on his chest once more, bending yourself a bit to shift all your weight to your hips, something more frantic in your pace.
Your heart was pounding, and frustration soon transfigured into delirium as you became single-track minded, determined to prove a point you could no longer coherently define.
Nanamiâs thumbs caressed the sides of your hips, drawing small, soothing circles, signalling his silent encouragement. The friction felt amplified in your mind, reducing you to tiny whimpers as you tried to catch your breath.
âHey,â he said again, his voice softened by the roguish smirk he was giving you. âLet me know when you inevitably tire. I promise to be merciful on my victory lap.â
âWhat⌠I wonât...â you said, moaning as he angled himself just enough to amplify the impact of your rocking but not enough to impactfully hit that one particular sweet spot that was now screaming for attention. You felt your more usual self returning, ready to embark on yet another verbal bout of banter with the man responsible for your losing your mind like this, but opted to refrain and to conserve your focus and energy for your physical exertion.
âAs in, you wonât tire? Or you wonât let me know?â
Nanami punctuated his question by bringing a thumb to where your bodies met, torturously rubbing up and down at your sensitive flesh.
You threw your head back with a shout, the sudden movement of your head sending your hair tie flying God knows where, freeing your hair from the loosened bun that once held it, a picture-perfect representation of your unraveling.
âFuck, Kento,â you sobbed.
âWhich one is it?â he insisted, his voice even but his breathlessness now more than evident. And in that moment, you realized that the scale was decidedly, dangerously tipping, that if you didnât give it your all now, there would be no chance beyond this.
âYou love when I ride you, Kento. You always tell me not to tire myself, but I know you love this, donât you?â
Nanamiâs response came solely in the form of firmer rubs of this thumb.
âYou know something? I do think of you often, when Iâm on the reformer, when Iâm on the mat, whenever Iâm engaging my core, whenever Iâm engaging my muscles, I dream about riding you long enough to end you. Youâd like that, right?â
Nanami groaned at your bold words, now thrusting up to meet your hips in earnest, all pretence of control tossed out the window. A rhythmic squeaking emanated from beneath you, softly filling the space.
âTalk to me, Kento,â your voice half an octave higher, dripping with equal parts desire and desperation. âTell me what youâre thinking whenever you eyeball me in my workout clothes. Whenever you peek at me when I exercise at home or earlier today. Tell me, what was going through your mind when you fell for my relentless teasing in the break room the other day?â
Your attempts at swallowing your own moans were already laughable, but the sight of Nanamiâs wrecked expression only made you turn up the volume, deliberately so.
Pushed to their absolute limit, your legs were now finally giving up. You knew that you only had so few rolls left in you, only so much endurance you could pretend to have. You were already feeling spent, your bodyâs anticipation of your imminent release taking up the last few ounces of energy you had to give.
Youâd left it all on the table.
âYouâre killing me,â came Nanamiâs hot misted response, and he brought both hands to your hips, gripping so unbelievably tight, as he pressed up into you, hard, enough to make you falter, enough for you to succumb to the searing soreness of legs that had given it their all, to relax in your posture and to literally fall over.
Nanami caught you just as you were about to topple forward, raising himself as he wreathed one arm around your shoulders and one hand onto your lower back. Your world tilted as Nanami maneuvered you onto your back, cradling you close to him on the way down, refusing to relinquish a single inch. He cushioned your head in the crook of his inner elbow, ensuring he broke your fall.
The sudden change in angle had you squirming beneath him, clamping tightly around him, and damn near sobbing as you kept rocking your hips upwards, chasing friction with renewed determination.
Nanami peeled away only to reach down to the hem of your shirt to begin pulling it off again, and you lifted your arms up and hoisted yourself just enough to allow him to complete his endeavor You both moaned in unison as the move pushed you closer together. You didnât wait for him to pull off your sports bra, making quick work of the strappy clasp before depositing it into Nanamiâs waiting hand.
âThese, Iâm not folding,â he said solemnly, more to your bouncing breasts than to your face.
âI donât expect you to, silly,â you replied, throwing your head back with a melodic giggle.
He promptly tossed both garments over his shoulder. Before bringing his thumb and index finger to hold your chin, he tilted your head up to have you meet his gaze.
That smile that accompanied the little helpless sound you made as you tilted up into him, mischievous yet bashful, so characteristically you, was undoubtedly one that heâd come to live for. It caused an electric shudder to run through him, rendering him incoherent and immobile for a moment.
âYouâre killing me,â he repeated in a murmur even lower than the previous, bringing his mouth to yours and covering your widening grin with his own, as if to seal this moment between you.
âYouâve been observing me for far longer than Iâve been your instructor.â
Even now, your words still echoed through Nanamiâs mind, their veracity kindling something deep within him. Your confidence was always something he deeply admired, long from afar and even more in your proximity. He thought you far better than him in this regard, far better suited to the more political but necessary aspects of your line of work as Jujutsu sorcerers that he never saw himself particularly skilled atâdiplomatically headstrong, strategically stubborn, not unwilling to challenge the status quo. It was a character that seeped through all aspects of your life, something heâd learned as he got to know you better outside the context of work.
Not a day passed without him striving to rise up to the level of being your reciprocal.
So when you had your more vulnerable moments, when the insidious vines of self-doubt managed to coil around your mind, he was resolved to be the counterbalance, to always be there to remind you what you represented to the world around you, and more selfishly, how treasured you were to him.
You were not wrong about your Pilates practice doing a number on Nanami. To him, yours had been a transformation that stretched far beyond the visible, more physical manifestations in and of themselvesâit also carried a less earthly, more ethereal element to it.
It told the story of your hatching from your humble cocoon, of embarking on something new and daunting, and finding the will to keep at it until you excelled, both in your physique and your psyche, tethering yourself to a newfound self-assurance that gave an edge to the woman he ardently adored.
He watched you now, as your eyes narrowed and you began to move, restless energy that seemed to be finding its outlet through the small, erratic stuttering of your hips, and yet another tighter clenching of your walls. Your earlier recrimination, light as it was, was not lost on him. He was not holding out on you; he was holding on.
âStill with me?â Nanami heard you echo the question heâd posed you earlier when heâd noticed your attention slip, only realizing now that your roles had inadvertently flipped and that heâd stopped moving.
âYou are absolutely killing me,â he started again. âThatâs what often comes to mind whenever you mesmerize me. I donât mean to hold anything back from you. Itâs just that the rest of my thoughts from there are often less⌠coherent,â he continued.
âCat getting Nanami Kentoâs tongue at the worst possible moment,â you said as you brought a hand to the one that held your chin, gently bringing it to your lips as you kissed his fingers. âSo tragic.â
âOh, I still intend to have the last word, my love,â he countered. He didnât take long to follow up on his promise, as he pulled almost fully out of you before firmly pushing back inside, taking care not to put too much weight onto you.
Nanami watched as the throaty, rapturous cry of pleasure tore out of your lips too soon for you to manage to muffle with his hand. From there, he broke into a steady but relentless rhythm, reinvigorated with a determination of his own, quick but deeply penetrating darts of his length digging into you, seeking to demonstrate what heâd failed to succinctly verbalize.
The bed frame began to squeak once more, louder than it had moments ago, singing the song of a storied, unleashed desire finally finding its destination.
Your moans grew louder, sounding something more akin to a continuous hum that took on different scales and volumes, rising to Nanamiâs ears and traveling straight down to further fuel the force behind his velocity, a chemical reaction that transformed the reactants that were your delightful pleasured cries into the product that was his newfound desperation to undo you.
You began speaking again, words just coherent enough for Nanami to follow your commands, to let your breathless encouragement guide his next moves. He progressively sunk deeper into you, each stroke hard and purposeful, to steal moan after moan, to prove time and time again that you had indeed, made him like this and that he would live a thousand lives just to do this again, to let himself be taken to the brink of absolute madness just for a chance to watch you unravel at his hand.
âYou did so well,â he heard himself mumble, words flowing before he could preprocess them. âYou lasted longer than I expected, and your endurance is enviable.â
Nanami heard you choke down a sob as you reached behind his head and yanked him down towards you, your hands gliding over his shoulder before clinging onto his back, a desperate play at regaining any form of tactile control as he softly teased you.
âBut youâll concede now, right? Youâll let me watch you come?â
âKento⌠IâŚâ your warning broke out into a long moan as he drove into you a little harder, holding you at the hips as he pulled you closer to him. His pace became more punishing, some in speed, more in intensity, and you deepened your arch in response, tension tautening the entirety of your body as you tightly wrapped your legs behind him and squeezed in time with each of Nanamiâs relentless pushes into you.
âI know,â Nanami groaned, spasming and shaking with his own impending satisfaction.
Endurance, who?
Not the man who was feeling himself reach his own precipice, the one who could already tell that his overactive imagination would forever file this encounter into a sacred, permanent area of his brain, to be henceforth deployed to the forefront of his mind every time anything resembling the notion of you and Pilates came to his mind.
âI know,â he repeated, his thrusts now carrying more of the allure of slow yet forceful slams as he chased and chased and chased both your orgasms.
Endurance, where?
Not here, he thought. Not with you.
The gibberish sounds emanating from you were competing with the increasingly loud creak of the bed beneath you both, and Nanami wanted so badly to kiss you, but he opted to lean down to nip at your bottom lip, letting your cries find their space in the air freely.
âI know,â he said, jaw locked in strain. âPlease take me with you?â
A question or an order, a demand or a plea. Whatever it was, it was this that finally did it for you. It was that tone, your strong, sexy man hitting that specific fucking spot once, then twice, then again and again as he meticulously drew your orgasm out from you, bit by excruciating bit, until your mind was splintered into a million pieces.
You clamped down so hard around Nanami, pulled him so close into you, twitching and convulsing underneath him as you yielded to your sweet release. He followed too closely behind you, almost simultaneously so, and it was, in turn, his name on your tongue, your sole anchor to reality as your world narrowed on anything but, that drove him over the edge. Nanami cursed under his breath, mouth slightly open, eyes tightly closed, and he let out a few groans of relief in time with his deliciously warm, sputtering spilling into your depths before he stilled within you and collapsed onto you, sparing you the bulk of his weight by resting on his legs astride you.
Time was such a foreign construct in moments like these. Whatever duration it took for you to regain lucidity and land back down on earth had been enough for you to begin to feel the full weight of what had happened, for a burning sensation to form over your cheeks and your face as you took in how absolutely wanton youâd been, at the words youâd uttered in the moment, bold and filterless, even for you.
Your fingers nervously fidgeted with the damp strands of hair that stuck to Nanamiâs sweaty temple. His breathing was loud but steady, and you started to feel him slowly soften where he was still slotted inside you.
Kentoâs hand began to wander as well, running up your thigh as his lips found a soft fold of flesh on the side of your throat and lazily nipped at it.
âI think itâs a draw,â you said unthinkingly, surprising even yourself.
At this, Nanami halted in his movements and lifted his head to face you with a raised eyebrow.
âExcuse me?â
âYou prematurely ended my demonstration when you tipped me over, knowing damn well that I almost had you. But then you also made me come first. So itâs a draw.â
A hearty laugh bubbled up Nanamiâs chest as he raised himself onto his knees. âThatâs not how the game worââ
âYou didnât even explain the rules of your little game. You were so confident, but not enough to let me end you, apparently. A draw.â
âAlright, a draw,â he conceded, peeling off of you and murmuring words of apology as he gradually pulled out of you. You whimpered a bit, partly at the physical sensation, partly at Nanamiâs militant sense of politeness even as he engaged in the steamiest of acts.
He fixed you, his mouth pulling into a smile so sincere and deferential. âIt only means we need a rematch,â he declared.
You laughed as you rose onto your elbows and took in the room in earnest. Nanami disappeared into the washroom and returned about thirty seconds later with hand towels and a change of clothes.
âI guess this room is truly well equipped,â he mused distractedly as he got to help you clean up.
âKento⌠This is clearly your first time here. Just whose room is this, already?â
Nanami froze in his movements and opened his mouth, ready to deploy the response heâd convinced himself would be easier to repeat than the truth.
You reached down to playfully pinch his cheek.
âAnd donât you dare say âdonât askââŚâ
Nanami lifted his gaze to yours and drew a deep, deflated sigh.
A few days priorâŚ
âNanamiiiin!â Gojo called, breaking into a jog to catch up to his colleague.
âLeave it alone, Gojo-san.â
âLeave what alone? You donât even know what Iâm about to say!â he protested.
âWhatever it is, it can wait,â Nanami said in a clipped tone.
âNo, it really canâtâŚâ Gojo replied, his tone dropping to something more sinister. âNot unless you want me to run back into the break room and tell on you... Should I?â
At his friendâs taunt, Nanami faltered in his steps ever so slightly, but kept walking.
âShould I tell your lovebird that you lied to her by omission? That our phone call ended not one, not two, but at least five minutes before you pretended to hang up?â Gojo said, effectively closing the distance between himself and Nanami. âAfter scandalously eavesdropping the way you were?â he added to his face.
âI got on a second callâŚâ Nanami interjected, unconvincingly.
âI didnât even need to use my six eyes to know that there was absolutely no one on the other end of that line. And I certainly didnât need them to confirm theâŚâ he trailed off into a brief pause. âThe conundrum youâre dealing with. Tell me, Nanamin, has the prospect of spending the entirety of tomorrow with me excited you that much?â
âGojoâŚâ Nanamiâs warning tone was only emphasized by his rare drop of the habitual honorific. âThis is bordering on the foothills of harassment.â
Gojo raised his hands. âHey, Iâm not the one whoâs bricked up at his place of woâ,â
Nanami now fully halted in his steps. He raised a fisted hand, up to the side of his own head, before anticlimactically placing it on the wall beside him.
âSo tell them, then. I donât care,â Nanami said in a defeated tone. âI have other things to worry about right nowâŚâ
âIâm sure you do. You are down bad. Luckily, Iâm here to help you with that!â
Nanami finally turned, his glare deepening as disbelief flickered across his face at his friendâs poorly worded statement.
âN-not like that, obviously! UnlessâŚ?â
âIâm done,â Nanami said as he turned around and started walking again.
âWait, no! Okay, all jokes aside, here, take this,â he said, pulling onto Nanamiâs shoulder and sliding an envelope into his field of view.
âYou need to loosen up, big time. When the time comes, do yourself a favor and treat yourself!â
Nanami, who was now no longer able to pretend that his interest wasnât piqued, reluctantly accepted Gojoâs offering, much to his friendâs delight.
âThank me later!â Gojo said over his shoulder, walking away with his hands in his pockets and his loud, boisterous laugh.
Nanami waited until he was back in the safety of his office before opening the envelope, half expecting yet another crass drawing typical of the white-haired menace, but instead found a post-it note with a scribble in the unmistakable handwriting heâd recognized since his high school years: âDigs are super nice, trust me! Live a little!â
He tore off the note, removing it from a fancy-looking platinum black Jujutsu Tech keycard.
A/N: Thank you for reading my totally not self-indulgent story, I hope you enjoyed it! A time was had writing this little thing teehee đŠľ
JJK Masterlist
Title: Impromptu
Pairing: Nanami Kento x Black fem!reader
Summary: In which Nanami Kento joins you in the shower after an eventful day, and you enlist him to help you wash your hair.
Content tags: romance, fluff, light hurt/comfort, canon div, suggestive themes.
WC: 3.7k
Also on ao3
Neither you nor Nanami plan for the first time he helps you wash your hair.
Dialed down to its faintest stream, your shower head hangs onto its fixture above you, releasing a thin trickle of water that gently hisses as it drops onto the ceramic floor. Lost in your diversion, you fix it intently, enthralled by its unwavering flow, periodically reaching out to feel it glide past your touch as your fingers reshape its flow into a spectrum of paths that spatter into soft splashes at your feet.
As motion suddenly halts behind you, so does the sensory glide and swish of airy foam being gently pressed and lathered over the warm skin of your back.
âCan you turn around for me?â
Nanamiâs voice reaches you through the fog of your lulled mind in a low murmur, his words slightly blurred by the sounds emanating from the steady stream of water before you.
Slowly, you oblige him.
Once you turn to face him for the first time since heâs slipped into the shower behind you, you find Nanami Kento like youâve never quite perceived him beforeâa curling steam lightly veils his figure and his features in a languid, shifting haze, lending an almost dreamlike quality to this particular view of him.
Droplets cling to his skin, catching the muted light as they drip off his darkened, damp hair and slide down his jawline and his chin, down his shoulders and off the planes of his chest before gathering at the edges of bone and muscle for the quick instant it takes them to finally surrender to gravity. Neatly disheveled, he still visibly carries the lingering afterglow of his exertion.
This time around, Nanami has refrained from his usual lighthearted jokes about joining you in your post-tryst shower, which he would playfully withdraw even when youâd tease back with an offer.
This time, he hasnât resisted when youâd wordlessly tugged on his arm as he gently set you down after carrying you into the bathroom.
For the first time, heâs silently and solemnly followed you in, without preface, without even actively deciding to, only realizing in the moment just how terribly he needed this tonight.
So now, here he is.
And as this tumultuous day folds inward, itâs not lost on you how little Nanami has spoken this evening.
Youâd been out on a particularly precarious mission earlier this morning, the kind that had ended with you requiring a longer-than-usual RCT treatment session with Shoko, which took up the bulk of the afternoon. With the looming anniversary of Haibara Yuâs tragic death already having resurfaced some of Nanamiâs more latent sensitivities these past few days, you understand that todayâs incident has left him sentimentally stirred.
As he stands here before you, wet and bare and in his most natural self, Nanami looks even more vulnerable to you now than he did earlier this evening, when youâd made gentle love, both seeking to blot out the otherâs tenaciously emotional remnants of a draining last few days spent in your respective lines of duty. The fervor heâd displayed at the time, in his desperately firm grip on you, in his equally devoted soft touch of your deep-toned skin onto which heâd spelled out his feelings in a language far more cogent than any string of words he could muster up in his disquiet, has now taken a milder, more placid allure.
But even so, as his eyes now linger on yours as he brings your washcloth up to the juncture of your shoulder and neck, you can confirm that the fire ignited within Nanami by todayâs incident, exacerbated by the kindling that formed years of unresolved upheaval induced by the Jujutsu world, and soaked in the kerosene that were his augmented feelings of wistfulness undeniably persists.
Your eyelids drift shut, surrendering to the soothing sensation of his touch, pulling you deeper into a state of decompression.
Starting from your neck, Nanami draws careful, unhurried circles, applying delicate pressure. He works his way downward, across your collarbone, down your arms, and over your wrists, holding your hands as he brushes over your palms and fingers, pressing out the tension that has settled deep into your bones, vestiges of a culmination of compartmentalized feelings that were routinely pushed down in favor of more immediate concerns.
But you donât need to be anything other than your true self here, as Nanami traces over, under, and around the full forms of your bosoms in a manner that is as thorough as it is reverent.
You donât need to pretend to assume a hardened facade when he squeezes your washcloth between his fingers, allowing for the slippery foam to slide along your ribcage, the curve of your waist, and down the firm roundness of your hips.
You donât need to suppress the soft breaths of contentment that slip through your slightly parted lips, releasing along with them a particular pressure you didnât realize yourself to have until this very moment.
Nanami works his smooth, soothing strokes down your knees and calves before he squats down to cradle each of your feet, steadying you as he gently passes over them, cleaning and easing out the dayâs fatigue that still palpably thrums beneath your arches.
Once heâs through, you sense him rise and place one hand on your shoulder as he uses the other to reach for the shower dial behind you. The stream rouses to a steady rush, a warm cascade drizzling over your back. Nanami lifts the hand shower from its holder and guides it over and around you, and even as you keep your eyes closed, your hands easily find their place over Kentoâs waist, right where it tapers, anchoring you to the moment before it slips away.
Nanami murmurs again, emanating from somewhere close above your head, echoing in the deepest recesses of your mind.
You tilt your head up, your gaze curiously lifting to his face as the words heâs just spoken drift away unheard.
âYour hair,â he repeats for clarification, âIâve just dampened some of it with my maneuver just now. Iâm sorry.â
He reaches up to your face, fingers gentle as ever as they gather and tuck back the few strands that cling to your cheek after having escaped from the silk scrunchie that loosely holds up the rest of your hair in a messy top knot bun.
âOh, thatâs okay.â Your sheepishly spoken words bounce against his bare chest. âI honestly shouldâve worn my shower cap before getting in here, so thatâs on meâŚâ
âWould you like me to bring it to you?â
âNo, thatâs fine,â you say, bringing a hand over where his has already reached the shower door handle. âI wonât be needing it.â
You grasp the hand shower from him, fingers brushing over his as you whisper your thanks before taking over the task of rinsing the remaining soapy suds, revealing the rich glow of your clean, golden skin underneath. Nanamiâs lips soften into a soft, unguarded smile as he reaches behind you once more, this time to retrieve his own washcloth, as he begins to soap himself.
âIâm actually thinking of just giving my hair a quick wash tonight,â you say as you angle the shower head to rinse each of your shoulders.
He halts for a second, realization dawning over the features of his face.
âAh⌠Let me get washed quickly then, and get out of your way soââ
The rest of Nanamiâs words remain forever suspended in the air as he watches you turn your back to him and rise slightly onto the tips of your toes to fix the shower head back onto its holder, allowing its stream to pour directly over your head, soaking your hair in earnest.
His eyes follow as your fingers find your loosened hair tie and pull it off with ease. You gently shake your hair loose, a week-old silk press that holds more at the ends than at its edges, letting it cascade down just past your shoulders before you bring a hand up to gently tussle the strands on either side of your middle part to allow for the water to seep into your roots.
Nanami is fascinated by the way water permeates your hair, slipping out in a slower trickle, not unlike a sponge gradually saturates after absorbing its fill. You pat down the excess water punctually, and after a while, he begins to perceive themâthe small curvatures appearing towards the crown of your head, manifested in the way the water adopts a newfound, shimmying pattern as it descends your hair down to the ends before collecting into streams that drip onto the floor.
Slowly, your hair takes a new form, curls now decidedly its prominent pattern as your strands enact, in real time, this quiet act of remembering, holding on to each other as they tighten along their natural bends, familiar points that outlast any brushing, stretching and heating youâve applied to it days ago, with their dark brown deepening into something closer to jet black.
Length seems to vanish underneath the water, underneath your touch as your hair folds and retracts into compact coils.
Nanami witnesses gravity pulling your hair downward with noticeably more heaviness. Quietly, he observes as you take half a step backward, gathering your hair into your fist as if for a ponytail before squeezing out the excess water that escapes through your grasp into rivulets, each press leaving your strands looking lighter, as theyâre relieved of their excess weight.
What passed as a near bone-straight style mere moments ago has now transfigured into something beautifully voluminous with spring-loaded curls drawn up into themselves.
A full transformation, right before his eyes, and all within a few moments.
And through it all, Nanami kept a silent, meticulous ledger of beauty.
In the absence of the tail comb youâd normally have on hand for this impromptu endeavor, you make use of your next best instrument, your fingers, to part your hair into four sections. Nanami studies this too, as you deftly bisect through your soaked curls, first completing your middle part by lightly detangling it along the way, revealing a seam of scalp beneath it. You make a similar transversal part, starting from the top of one ear towards the other, and this time it appears to yield with a little more resistance.
On your end, the cooling effect of water over your roots unearths yet a deeper degree of tension you didnât know yourself to hold, one which dissolves as you are saturated from crown to nape, robbing the dayâs tribulations of any dry area where they could otherwise try to stick. You find yourself slipping into ease once more, much like you did under Kentoâs soothing touch just moments prior.
As if on cue, youâre reminded of Nanamiâs presence when he gently reaches his hand from behind you to hang up his washcloth and to retrieve the hand shower, carefully moving it around you and towards him to rinse himself.
When you finally peer over your shoulder, and your eyes meet his, you can tell that youâve caught him staring by the way heat rises up his neck and touches his ears, discernible even through the shimmer of the showerâs steam.
As you smile up at him with a tinge of mischief the way you always do once you decipher the language he never speaks out loud, his ever-perceptive soul cartographer, Nanamiâs world hisses into focus, not unlike it did whenever he honed onto a targetâit takes everything within him not to reach for where one of your curls slicks against the side of your neck, and to taste the visual proof that you are indeed here, wonderfully alive, delightfully well, and right now, all his to admire.
Even as this impassable reality snags onto his composure, Nanami manages to return your smile, a controlled acknowledgement despite himself, as he makes quick work of rinsing his body.
âIâll be out of your hair shortly,â he says, his signature deadpan tone coming out a bit lower than even he expected, contrasting the sly pun in his words.
You couldnât prevent the chortle that escapes you if you tried.
âAlright, mister funny guy, can you pass me the shampoo bottle?â you playfully ask as you turn to fully face him.
You watch as Nanami fails to conceal his self-satisfied smirk while he reaches back over on the corner shelf, his hand hovering over two bottles, both creamy white with black lettering.
âHmm. You have two shampoos here,â he remarks, his eyes flicking over to you.
âOh, that first one there should be fine for tonight.â
He reaches for the leftmost bottle and hands it to you.
âThanks. My hairâs been a bit dry with the colder season,â you elaborate, unprompted, surprising even yourself. âSo Iâve been using this hydrating one a lot; it has hyaluronic acid among other helpful ingredients.â
âI see,â he says with a solemn nod, and his eyes narrow in the way youâve come to recognize as Nanami carefully filing away a piece of information heâd like to retain.
Perhaps itâs this perception that loosens something within you just as you absentmindedly shake the bottle for the short moment it takes you to contemplate what youâre about to propose to him.
âWhat if I do want you in my hair, though?â you speak once more, coming closer to him and punctuating your oblique request with a playful poke at his chest.
At this, Kento fixes you, hazel eyes narrowing in search of any sign of jest. You satisfy his curiosity by pressing the cap open and extending the bottle towards him. When he moves to grasp it, you intercept his hand before heâs able to, tenderly taking it into yours and turning it palm up before squeezing a little over a quarter-sized dollop of product into it.
âI actually didnât really intend to wash my hair tonight until you stepped in here with me,â you continue as you pour a bit of shampoo into your own hand. âWill you help me with the back, and Iâll do the front?â
Kentoâs gaze travels from his hand to your eyes just as you peer up at him, any vestiges of restraint now fully evaporated from his expressionâhis jaw softens, the corners of his mouth turn upward, and his eyes ignite with a sincere, radiant warmth.
The enthusiasm you find mirrored on his face elicits a pleasant spark of excitement that licks low at your spine as you share yet another of your wordless, intimate exchanges. You promptly turn back around, partly to give him access to the sections youâve just assigned him but also to hide the way your face has undoubtedly contorted into something that falls short of the nonchalance you seek to project.
Undoubtedly, you trust Nanami Kento with your life. Still, there is a novel, thrillingly nerve-wracking quality to revealing this part of yourself like this to him for the first time.
And yet here you are, doing it.
Behind you, a similar sentiment holds Nanami back from moving first.
By now, the shampoo youâve distributed into his hand pools outwards, the product expanding to fill the contours of his palm. He knows that there is a methodical process to everything when it comes to your hairâheâs observed you work with it on countless occasions, as you styled it in the morning, as you wrapped at night before bed, or in preparation for an intensive workout. Nanami has witnessed your hair in a plethora of styles, ranging from sleekly straightened after a silk press to vibrantly curly following a twist-out to artfully arranged in numerous long braids, be it two, four, or dozens more.
But he admittedly feels much less versed about your wash days and associated routinesâtheir specifics posing a blind spot in his knowledge, making this new territory for him.
But heâs also terribly keen to learn.
âSince this is a bit unplanned, Iâm keeping it simple tonight,â you speak once more, raising your voice just enough to be discernible over the sound of the shower. âIâve parted my hair to minimize the tangling. So, just start with one section, apply the shampoo at the scalp like this,â you pause to demonstrate, âand use your fingers to scrub at the roots. Work your way down; that way, it wonât tangle too much. Weâll do this until the lather is super foamy.â
You peer over your shoulder at him, only now noticing that he still hasnât budged.
âGot it?â
âI got it,â he murmurs his acknowledgment.
âYou nervous, Kento?â you ask, keeping your tone light and teasing, hoping you mask your own feelings.
Nanami chuckles, lightly shaking his head with an amused smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, but doesnât deny anything.
He gently brings his hands up to your now dampened hair, carefully starting with the back left section and working his way up from the middle of your head, right under the delineation youâve just made with your parting, and makes his way down to the roots just at your nape, right where your curly, soaked strands cling to the golden skin of your neck like a kiss. He pulls a strand to hold in his hand, examining how distinctly it coils as it gets closer to the root before watching it disappear under the rich lather. You both continue like this for a few minutes, with only the sounds of drips against porcelain blending with the whispery soft sounds of shampoo being worked into foam.
He must have slowed in his movements, Nanami thinks, based on the sound of your giggling voice stirring him from his distraction after a while.
âYouâre doing great, Kento. Donât be afraid to get in there.â
Nanami follows your lead and begins scrubbing in earnest again, gently but firmer. By now, the enclosed space is filled with a distinct sweet scent, a warm mix of oud, jasmine, and sandalwood, made even richer by the steamy air.
A few minutes later, he completes the other side just as you also finish with your second quadrant. You pick up the hand shower once more and hand it to him.
âHelp me rinse?â you ask, slowly blinking up at him, the way youâve learned to do whenever you ask him for a favor.
Nanami obliges.
There is something so utterly ethereal that mesmerizes him about watching your hair transform in real time once more, this time with each pass of his own fingers, allowing him to revel in the tactile impression he can now associate with what heâs visually witnessed over the last few minutes. He takes in the way your hair absorbs both water and product, drinking it and keeping a little more of it with each pass, feels its coils compressing under his palms and expanding upon his release. He catalogues these textures, making what he hopes will be indelible mental notes of the structured softness of your hair in its wet form, and contrasts it to the silky glide of his own.
No longer is it the enduring, nagging disquiet in the back of his mind that holds his tongue, but rather the undeniable, visceral truth of having unexpectedly discovered yet another new pathway through which to deeply connect with the woman who has completely claimed his heart.
Your muffled voice surfaces again.
âKento?â
âSorry, can you repeat that?â
âI said, Iâll do a hair mask for conditioning and wash it in the morning since itâs already late.â
âAlright.â
âMeaningâŚâ you add with a snicker, âI think we can be done here now.â
âI got it,â he concedes with a bashful chuckle.
Nanami hangs the hand shower back up for the last time this evening, his movements languid, almost reluctant as he switches the water off for good.
You turn around to face him once again, sliding your arms around his neck to pull him down closer to your level. He yields to your touch, easily so.
âSo, have I met your expectations?â he asks, speaking before you get the chance.
âWell, youâre not out of the woods yet. I do need help with the leave-in,â you returned with equally serious playfulness.
âHmm. But I must not be doing a terrible job if youâre willing to have me do thatâŚâ
His quip earns him your snicker. âIâm just making the most of the situation. Thank you for being my willing hostage.â
âThank you for choosing me to be your hostage,â he returns, his hands finding their way to your waist.
Something unspoken passes between you, the underlying, wordless weight of your words settling deep within each of you like a stone dropped into still water, its ripples spreading palpably beneath each of your surfaces.
âI wonder what the shrinkageâs looking like this time?â you muse after a suspended moment, speaking more to yourself as you pull at one strand in each of your hands.
Your gaze meets Kentoâs for a short moment, long enough for you to detect a pinprick of mischief briefly cross his eyes, before he pulls you closer and leans in, sinking his face into the right curve of your neck.
âIâd have to take a closer look,â he mumbles, right by your ear, before burying his face into your hair.
A surprised laugh spills from your lips.
âNow, Kento. If you want us to stay here to air dry in this shower, just say that,â you mumble against his shoulder, trying but failing to maintain your air of feigned lament.
You instinctively cling to him, much like he does to you, pressing your warm skin to each other as if to conserve the heat between you, as if to adhere yourselves to the peace of this moment before it slips away.
Thereâs no real telling how long you stay like this, within the comfortable fogginess on the edge of everything, devoid of any mask, of any sort of veneer you each tend to wear in the name of tolerating things and of putting up a strong front for one another.
For now, all this is what it needs to beâa deeply intimate moment you share, more than either of you could have ever hoped for from this impromptu encounter.
It's been one year since I marked a year of sharing fics on this blog. Here are all the Nanami fics I've posted since then! đŠľ
Endurance Theory | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: In which Nanami Kento takes a not-so-subtle interest in the many effects of your new workout routine, and you endeavor to feed his curiosity.
Content tags: Fluff and Smut
WC: 15.9k
Disrobed | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: In which your recent gift to Nanami has him quickly feeling himself.
Content tags: Fluff, humor
WC: 4.3k
Spellbound | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: In which you endeavor to help Nanami decompress at the end of a long day, and you get a little more than you've bargained for.
Content tags: established relationship, canon-divergent, fluff with some humor and some spice
WC: 4.8k
Bento Box Banter | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: One early Sunday morning, Nanami embarks on an investigative mission to answer one question, only to be left with another.
Content tags: Fluff and humor
WC: 4.7k
Impromptu | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x Black fem!reader
Summary: In which Nanami Kento joins you in the shower after an eventful day, and you enlist him to help you wash your hair.
Content tags: fluff
WC: 3.7k
Shared Burdens | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: post-Shibuya!Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: Apple picking with post-Shibuya Nanami
Content tags: fluff
WC: 1.9k
Going the Distance | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: When long-distance takes a spicy turn
Content tags: Suggestive fluff, mature themes
WC: 2.6k
Loudly Lowkey | Read on Tumblr
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: To be loved is to be seen, then Nanami sees you very clearly.
Content tags: early relationship fluff
WC: 930
Flattery Fluster | Read on Tumblr
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: Complimenting Nanami for the first time.
Content tags: early relationship fluff
WC: 614
Silver Linings | Read on Tumblr
Characters: Nanami Kento & Ino Takuma
Summary: In which Ino finds a gray hair and immediately phones a friend.
Content tags: short drabble, Nanami & Ino mentor-mentee dynamic, fluff
WC: 858
Tethered | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Characters: Nanami Kento-centric (with x f non-sorcerer!reader)
Summary: It starts on his sixteenth birthdayâin the years that follow, Nanami slowly comes to accept the recurring appearances of a particular spirit as being synonymous with marking some of his trips around the sun, bringing some sharp thorns from his past to persistently prick into his present.
Content tags: Nanami-centric (with x Reader), Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence (post-Shibuya), Introspection, Slow Romance, Getting Together, Healing, Growing Old/Growing Old Together
WC: 10k
Syncopation | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: Every Tuesday night, a certain jazz bar serves as both a temporary escape from the mundane routine of daily life and a poignant reminder of a forsaken aspiration.
On those evenings, itâs just you and the music filling the space between the jagged pieces of yourself youâve been desperately holding together, and for a while, youâre convinced that itâs enough.
That is, until you cross paths with Nanami Kento, after which nothing is quite the same.
Content tags: Fluff, Slowburn, mature themes
Chapters: 2 of 10 posted (ongoing series)
You can also find last year's compilation below:
đŹ 0  đ 10  â¤ď¸ 139 ¡ Nanami Kento x Reader Masterlist ¡ I'm coming up on one year of sharing my (mostly Nanami lol) writings on Tumblr...đ¤Ż
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CW: mature themes, smut, MDNI
Pairing: Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader
Summary: It was such a soft radiance that highlighted the contours of his forearm, well-defined and solidâlike someone who didnât need to prove anything. When he picked up his pen, twirling it once in his fingers before he began tackling the preliminary portion of his report, Nanami did it effortlessly, as if all of this was nothing.
Not knowing that to you, it would become everything.
OR
Five times you manage to stave off the urge to act upon your fascination with Nanami Kento's most alluring physical feature, and the one time you don't.
WC: 21.5k
Also on AO3
It really didnât have to come to this.
Itâs the first coherent thought that crosses your mind as you draw your legs up from where they slung off the sides of the low couch. You push against your feet, the cool leather a welcome relief against your heated skin as you scoot further up the smooth surface. The distinctive flick of the light switch reverberates down the hallway, and a faint glow illuminates the ceiling above you, bringing the skip-trowel texture composing it into focus. Your eyes follow where the light catches the amalgamation of ridges and valleys, as your breath finally evens down from its rapid rhythm.
The unique sound of a kitchen cupboard closing shut pulls you from your daze. The slow thud of approaching footsteps on polished hardwood follows it, resonating in the dim, quiet space. You close your eyes, take a deep breath, and you fail to stifle the soft chuckle that bubbles up within you, a laugh at your own expense as the absurdity of the situation washes over you.
Because it does dawn upon you now, the silliness of it all. All of this time, all of the mental energy poured into holding onto a secret with a declining half-life, only to have your efforts inevitably undone.Â
Only now, in the clarity granted by hindsight, does your mind flit to a memory as clear as day, back to several months prior, when the catalyzing encounter of the saga that eventually led to this moment that brought you to uncover a new facet of Nanamiâs desires and to confront the particularities of your own.
âI donât know, Ino⌠Maybe you should hold off on the more demanding missions for a bit. Isnât this your third injury in just as many weeks?â you asked as you offered the younger sorcerer the energy bar youâd just unwrapped for him.
âAnd risk missing out on some field practice? Hell no!â Ino replied indignantly. âIâm only Grade 2 on paper, you know this. This is a minor setback, no big deal!â He tapped his cast for emphasis and nearly dropped the bar heâd seemingly forgot he was holding in the process, just barely catching it with his mouth before it fell to his lap. You could only shake your head as you watched the goofy scene unfold.
The past few weeks had seen a relentless surge of curse-related activity as the Tokyo metropolitan area entered what was typically its most hectic time of year. This time around, the busy season had resulted in every active sorcerer effectively forced to work on-call as they were assigned to successive missions which, more often than not, stretched the boundaries of their capabilities. Youâd witnessed it yourself, as a Grade 2 instructor assigned to quite a few field missions that increasingly erred on the higher side of your experience level.
Youâd had your start as an instructor at Jujutsu Tech at the same time Ino joined, first meeting at orientation, and over time, youâd grown to know and appreciate him like a younger brother. While his tenacity was usually admirable, it also worried you at times, particularly recently. Heâd been pushing himself, even going as far as volunteering for the type of missions that would result in his current predicament: sitting in one of Shokoâs examination rooms with a broken arm freshly wrapped in a cast, awaiting his next round of RCT treatment.
âBesides,â he continued, âI was assigned with Nanami-san, and when I tell you that you wouldâve loved to see him in action today,â he said, his tone tinged with a not-so-subtle playful lilt that did not escape you. âHe kicked some serious fucking ass out there and I bet you wouldâveââ
A heavy, exasperated sigh emanated from the entrance behind you.
âIno, your energy would be better spent focusing on recalling facts rather than on the retelling of hyperbolic stories.â
The interjection came as a distinctively calm voice, one carrying a uniquely measured cadence, and did not require you to turn around to identify who it belonged to.
You shot Ino a warning look as you both watched Nanami Kento cross the few strides that took him to the opposing side of the infirmary bed. He dropped a thin stack of papers onto the examination room counter before his eyes met yours, a smile and a wordless greeting passing between you as his head slightly dipped in a respectful bow. You responded with a nod of your own, as you tried to mentally downplay the soothing wave of warmth that washed over you.
You were still slowly being acquainted with Nanami, who had recently made his return to the school, mostly via common interactions with his protĂŠgĂŠ, much like the one you were having now. Theirs was a bond youâd watched form and grow in real-time, largely thanks to Inoâs incessant updates.
But youâd also made observations of your own, taking notice of some unique and understated traits that only further piqued your curiosity about the man dubbed the 7:3 sorcerer.
As a teacher yourself, youâd been particularly sensitive to his affinity for mentorship with students and established sorcerers alike. They were the kind of observations that made you wonder about the specifics of what had made him leave in the first place, and even more curiously, about what had compelled him to return.
There was also something just so singular about how Nanami conducted himself. His was an even-tempered presence, bearing a quiet confidence that made him such a steady and welcome counterbalance to the otherwise frenetic atmosphere at the school. It simply made him such a pleasant person to be around, and lately, it was more often than not that youâd catch yourself, as you did in this moment, stealing fleeting glances at him as he draped the tan-colored suit jacket heâd been carrying over the examination chair before taking a seat.
âPfft. What hyperbolics?â Inoâs mouth stretched into a wide grin as he turned away from Nanami and back towards you. âYou truly should have seen it! Five hefty curses cornered Nanami-san, and he had to find a way toâŚâ
And thatâs when it first happened.
Youâd glanced over just in time to catch sight of Nanami using his left hand to skillfully undo the cuff of his right sleeve, folding it neatly over itself until it reached his elbow, gradually revealing the perfectly toned arm underneath. By the time he was repeating the process on his other arm, the quiet precision of his movements and the hypnotic rhythm of controlled and focused intent had you completely spellbound.Â
Though innocuous in its practical purpose, the act held such an airy allure, one you thought couldnât possibly be solely attributed to the overhead halogen lighting. It was such a soft radiance that highlighted the contours of his forearm, well-defined and solid, like someone who didnât need to prove anything. When he picked up his pen, twirling it once in his fingers before he began tackling the preliminary portion of his report, Nanami did it effortlessly, as if all of this was nothing.
Not knowing that to you, it would become everything.
It hadnât even registered with you yet at the time; the extent to which one too many furtive glances had been enough for a seed to take root in your heart, its insidious vines coiling around your unsuspecting mind.
âHey, are you even listening?â Inoâs sudden, rambunctious voice, along with the lamenting intonation it carried, pulled you back to reality.
Only now did you realize that youâd decidedly relegated Inoâs voice to the background, prompting you to return your attention to him, but not before catching the fleeting upward curve of Nanamiâs eyebrow along with the hint of curiosity discernible even through his near opaque lenses as he raised his head, his eyes meeting yours for the briefest of moments.
Agitation coursed through you by the time you turned to Ino, as you quickly processed the embarrassing fact that his loud comment might have exposed your moment of indiscreet inattention.
âI am listening, Ino, if only because you are speaking entirely too loudly for me to do otherwise,â you said, your words strained by the anxious tightening of your jaw.Â
You thought youâd detected a light scoff emanating from Nanami, so subtle, so nearly imperceptible that you wondered if youâd imagined it. You didnât dare look his way to confirm it.
âFine!â huffed Ino. âThen you can read about it in my report, just like everyone else! Oh, speaking of which, Nanami-san graciously offered to fill it in for me, you know, since my good arm is out of commission! Isnât he the best?â
Nanami cleared his throat before intervening. âIno, Iâm rather keen on leaving on time today, so please, letâs focus on this?â
You took this as your cue to exit what could only become an increasingly compromising situation for you, keen on avoiding any further embarrassing displays of distraction.
âIâll leave you two to it. I have an assignment of my own for which I should be preparing⌠Ino, please do the reasonable thing for once in your life and try to get some real rest, will you?â
You trained your eyes on the exit door as you headed towards it, determined to resist the urge to get distracted again, a flimsy plan that failed as soon as you realized where youâd left your phone.
On the counter.
Next to Nanami.
You took a deep breath to steady your nerves before you made your way around the bed and quietly retrieved your device from the counter, hoping that Nanamiâs focus would remain on the report he was so diligently fillingâa prayer that was only half fulfilled.
âKawasaki City?â he asked, his voice coming unexpectedly, gently, and you were grateful that his eyes did not immediately leave his report, because you simply could not prevent yours from surreptitiously glancing over to catch one final glimpse at the hand that gripped his pen, at the way the light caught the fine hairs on his forearm.
You didnât realize how long a silent pause had elapsed until Nanami halted his scribbling and lifted his head, curious eyes peering at you over the rims of his signature goggles. You quickly made a mental migration back to his question, your distracted mind only now registering that he was inquiring about your assignment.
âAh yes, thatâs the one⌠The zoneâs been mostly cleared now, but theyâve assigned a small squad of us to do one final sweep before sending in the cleanup crew.â
âI see,â he said, pausing briefly. âGood luck, and be careful out there.â Sparse words heavy with sincerity.
âThank you, Nanami.â Your reply came out meeker than youâd liked, something you cringed at internally before you grabbed your phone and finally shuffled towards the exit and out of the room.
âInoââ Nanami started, eyes still on the door, warning already well-laced within those two syllables.
âNanami-san. All due respect,â Ino cut in, not even pretending to attempt to conceal his self-satisfied grin, âbut youâve got to let me cook. Canât you see Iâm trying to talk you up? At this point, youâre just getting the way!â His lament was carelessly loud enough to be audible from the corner youâd just turned into the hall.
But hear it you did not, as you were too preoccupied with a conundrum of your own, the one consisting both of taming the small flame that had ignited within you and of fighting off the vivid imagery along with its significantly less tame derivatives that lingered and threatened to slink into your mind. The ones that would mark the first instances of perceiving Grade 1 sorcerer Nanami Kento in a decidedly different light.
Weeks later, the shortage of level-matched sorcerers required to meet the moment of this prolonged crisis remained persistent, resulting in teams and assignments being in a perpetual state of flux. Amidst this chaotic reshuffling, you found yourself paired with Nanami on a mission for the very first time. Some part of you briefly wondered which stars must have aligned to favor these auspicious circumstances before you decided against putting a question mark where fate had placed a period.
Todayâs mission found you both on this sunny early afternoon, tasked with ridding a shrine of several cursed spirits who were intent on disrupting the area during its peak season and on terrorizing its poor visitors.
It was an assignment that quickly revealed itself to be a test of endurance rather than strength; numerous hordes of low-level curses had congregated around each of the seven entrances, six of which youâd spent the better part of the morning purging of their unwelcome intruders. In a bid to optimize energy and recovery, youâd suggested that you alternate turns exorcising the swarms, a strategy that now found the two of you hiding behind each of the two opposing pillars of the gate that marked the final entrance left to clear.
It was your turn to take on this next wave of curses, and by now, the searing soreness of strained muscles youâd rarely ever asked so much of had become difficult to ignore. Using the tip of the spear that comprised your cursed tool, you steadied yourself on shaky legs that you could almost hear screaming in protest, as you remained determined to conceal any sign of struggle and to see this final stretch through.
âAre you alright?â You heard Nanami call out from the opposing pillar, his tone edged with genuine concern.
God, this is embarrassing, you thought to yourself and could only nod at him, refusing to speak just yet for fear of betraying the shakiness in your voice, avoiding eye contact lest any evidence of your growing weariness become apparent.
Target focus, target focus, you repeated to yourself, like a mantra, as you steadied your trembling hands, turning your attention towards the horde of curses approaching on the horizon. If you could just manage to reach that first target, land that first blow, and chain it to activate your technique, the rest of the combat sequence would fall into place.
âStay put, Iâve got this,â Nanami said as he suddenly left his post, crossing the distance between himself and the oncoming swarm in a few long strides before you could process, let alone protest what was happening.
You leaned onto your spear, repositioning yourself to face the sorcerer, just in time to watch him tighten his wrapped tie around his right hand and to witness the surge of cursed energy as it lit up his fist before he landed a decisive blow onto the first curse, staggering it and knocking it into the line of curses whoâd blindly followed close behind. You watched as Nanami landed rapid, precise 7:3 blows with swift, successive slashes of his blade, only now realizing that this was your first earnest look at him in the heat of the battle.
And what a sight it was.
One right hook.
Two left slashes.
Repeat.
He set out with a slow rhythm, a cadenced dance of contained destruction and speedy precision. There was a controlled fury in his movements, a certain juxtaposition of sheer strength and disciplined composure, ridges of forearm muscles moving rhythmically as he landed one incisive blow after the other. As the density of the oncoming horde increased, so did Nanamiâs tempo, so much so that for a brief moment, your fatigued eyes struggled to track his rapid movements.
The 7:3 sorcerer had decidedly entered a state of flow, seemingly unfazed by the volume of curses that threw themselves at him in a last-ditch effort to hold down the last fort of their invasion, forming the linchpin separating them from their assured demise.
Finally, it came down to the final three curses, far more imposing in stature than the previous, their presence heavy with the weight of their power, the apparent leaders of this enterprise.
All this appeared to be inconsequential to the indefatigable Nanami Kento, who unleashed a single, forceful blow that tore through all three curses at once, chopping them down right at their weak spot, thus putting an end to their onslaught, once and for all.
A tingling warmth flowed through you, easing some of the tension in your aching muscles, and you thought that maybe it was something beyond mere tiredness that accounted for this particular tremor traveling down your legs.
You trudged over to where Nanami stood, finding him still visibly recovering as he brought the back of his hand up to wipe his forehead, displacing the loose strands of his neatly disheveled hair. The sleeves of his cerulean shirt were pulled back, revealing a toned arm dotted with small beads of sweat, and accented by his signature watch, which gleamed as it caught the midday sunlight.
It suddenly occurred to you that you must have been staring when you caught a glint from Nanami's glasses as he shifted, and you watched as he scrutinized you, appearing to conduct a subtle but thorough assessment of his own.
âHow are you holding up?â he asked, a light strain accompanying his words, his chest slightly heaving from exertion as he still caught his breath.
I should be the one asking you that, is what you wanted to reply.
âIâm completely fine⌠How about you?â you asked instead, attempting to ground yourself by counting the patterned spots adorning his tie, now only loosely coiled around his hand.
âGood,â his reply came laced with relief, as though a weight was lifted off his shoulders, and you felt his eyes linger on you for a brief moment before he followed up, âIâm fine as well.â
You found yourself nervously shifting your weight from foot to foot, each fidgety movement pushing the sharpened point of your spear to dig deeper into the cool grass as you hesitated in your next words.
âThank you for taking on that last wave,â you said, still taking a trivial mental tally of black spots on yellow fabric. âYou sure made light work of clearing them.â
A quiet twinge of self-consciousness rippled through you as soon as you uttered the words, and you winced internally as you silently hoped that they didnât fall as flat with him as they sounded to you. You lifted your gaze, catching his for the brief moment it took him to turn his back to you, and you told yourself that you were imagining the faint flush that appeared to creep up his neck, just above his collar. You convinced yourself that the way heâd pressed his lips into a thin line was not a smile, nor even a suppressed iteration of one.
âItâs not a problem,â Nanami said over his shoulder. You watched curiously as he walked back the few steps that separated him from the spot where the discombobulated remains of the final three curses still lay. He knelt down to pick up what appeared to be an object dropped by one of the large curses, before he began to make his way back to you, his gaze still not quite returning to you.Â
âThe truth is,â he continued, âI wouldnât have been able to conserve this much energy had you not handled the previous waves as effectively as you did.â
Surely, these were but the polite words of a Grade 1 sorcerer towards his Grade 2 colleague.Â
Surely, it was the nebulous product of a tired and overactive imagination, and not an undercurrent of timidity you were detecting in his voice.Â
And surely, youâd tell yourself later, as youâd replay this interaction in your mind, it was the adrenaline propelling you in the moment, driving your unusual urge to keep a conversation going.
âStill, NanamiâŚâ you chirped, feigning a confidence you did not yet feel you had, âAt the risk of employing Inoâs terms, you did sort of hard carry me at the end thereâŚâ
This earned you a small scoff from the stoic sorcerer, a tiny but remarkable crack in his otherwise guarded demeanor, a pleasant surprise.
âAbsolutely not,â he said before finally meeting your gaze from beyond his tinted lenses. âIt was a team effort, and we made a good team.â
âEh, I donât knowâŚâ you replied, averting your gaze with a non-committal hum.
âYou donât know if we make a good team?â
You threw a glance his way, and this time, the tiny amused lift of his lips was unmistakable.
âNo, yeah, I think we do,â you replied as nonchalantly as you possibly could.
âGood. I think so too.â
Surely, there was no deeper significance to this.
Regardless, heâd completely disarmed you of the remnants of your unperturbed veneer, and you found yourself mirroring his smile, not that you could even help it if youâd wanted to, not after he punctuated his statement with such a natural utterance of your name.
As you fought the urge to break the connection of his gaze and to hide from the unexpected vulnerability it was drawing from you, you steadied yourself by bringing your second hand to the worn wood of your spear, its familiar texture a slight comfort against the nervous tremor in your grip, further digging and it into the soft dirt surface of the ground. It crossed your mind that at this rate, you just might find the planetâs core before this conversation ended.
Nanami held up the object heâd just picked up, revealing it to be a small wooden placard.
âWe should return this where it belongs,â he said, thankfully moving on from the suspended moment. âI believe I recall which gate had its signage missing.â
As you descended the shrineâs sloping grounds, the crunch of the gravel path underfoot sounded a soothing rhythm to an easier, more natural conversation as you recapped the missionâs events thus far. Nanamiâs memory proved to be correct, so you both stopped before a small gate by an off-beat path right by the third main entrance, one which notably had a bare signpost.
You watched intently, captured by the quiet precision of his movements as he meticulously reattached the placard to the side of the gate, and you couldnât help but marvel at the duality demonstrated within the time span of a single mission; the handiwork of hands that were dispensing righteous destruction a few minutes ago, now engaged in an authentic act of restoration.
Nanami backed up after having completed this endeavor, and only then were you able to make out the aged inscription on the wooden placard:
Destinyâs Path
Much like at the moment you were assigned to this mission, with this partner, your mind flitted to the notion of fateâs inescapable decree.
Several months separated you from that first joint mission, and you and Nanami now found yourselves engaged in an exercise that was as experimental and intimate as your blooming relationship.
âAlright, so the cabbage into eight wedges first and then cut each of those in half, the sweet potato and carrots cut into one-inch chunks, and then for the okra, you can just sever the stems.â You instructed, as you carefully placed a kitchen knife into his hand, handle first.
âYes, chef,â he replied solemnly, a mirthful smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
It was his spirited refrain, one heâd now delivered for the third time this evening, earning him yet another snicker from you. Though it was his kitchen you were occupying, heâd gladly adopted the role of sous-chef for the night.
A comfortable silence hung in the air for a moment, and the reality of the situation settled. A Friday evening in Nanamiâs apartment, the rich aroma of onions and bell peppers melding with sautĂŠed beef in a pan wafting through the kitchen along with a tomato and cayenne broth simmering in a stockpot. It comprised the beginning of a savory West African peanut stew recipe youâd committed to share with him some weeks ago, a promise Nanami was now holding you to via a rather impromptu dinner night. An array of emotions swirled and commingled within you; a blend of nervousness and elation, of novelty and familiarity.Â
There was no label, none that you knew of at least, for the melding of your identities through a cultural dish whose preparation you knew like the back of your hand, and yet felt like you were learning for the first time all over again. Youâve tried to articulate the simplicity with which Nanami welcomed you into his space, to put into words the inexplicable but deeply satisfying sense of belonging that he instilled within you through acts like this one.
Underlying all this was a certain permissiveness to allow yourselves to drop the formalities imposed by the limitations of the workplace, of getting a glimpse into the reserved sorcerer in a rare, relaxed form, into undiscovered shades in his voice, and into an utterly understated playfulness that you were quick find both endlessly surprising and positively delightful. It truly was a nameless sentiment, something of a catalytic blur, a steady whisper in the background of shared breaths and of casual touches.
It was almost dizzying.
But not as dizzying as watching Nanami pull back the sleeves of the black polo shirt heâd changed into in two swift movements, leaving you no time to prepare nor to brace yourself against being unexpectedly faced with his exposed forearms.
Your breath slightly hitched at the sight.
In theory, your simmering broth, along with the meticulous process of sautĂŠing your beef chunks with the bell peppers and onions youâd just added to your pan, should have sufficed to keep your attention.
In practice, the steady and rhythmic sound of Nanamiâs knife striking wood only underscored what you could only imagine being an unmatched display of dexterity and an effortless masterclass in precision as he worked right beside you, each audible cut drawing you, enticing you to take a peek.
Just checking on his progress was how youâd shamelessly rationalize it in your mind.
So here you were, inconspicuously shifting your gaze over to his cutting board and, just as expected, your eyes fell upon a riveting sight. You caught the edge of your lower lip, observing Nanamiâs slender, nimble fingers as he guided the knife over the firm yet yielding raw sweet potato, which, in turn, offered a slight resistance at each slicing movement, causing the muscles in his forearm to flex and his veins to ripple beneath his skin like tiny, pulsing rivers.
Those glorious veins.
How much time had elapsed as you watched, mesmerized by the way they disappeared and reemerged under the surface of his skin? What stopped you, really, from grabbing his arm right then and there, from tracing the constellation of every single vein that ran down from his fingers to the taut skin above his wrist, right down to where the fabric of his rolled-up sleeve bunched up on his forearm? All youâd know for sure was that after a while, Nanami paused mid-slice and glanced at you.
âIâm not doing this wrong, am I?â he asked, in a tone carrying an undercurrent of genuine concern.
It was a stammered reply, delivered almost too quickly, definitely too loudly. You turned back to your task at hand, the stoveâs once comforting warmth now only serving to intensify the heat crawling up your neck and rising towards your flustered face.
You felt Nanamiâs gaze linger on you for a bit before he resumed, his movements now slightly slower and carrying a renewed diligence. For a moment, you felt small a pang of guilt at the thought of having potentially planted a seed of doubt in his mind as a result of your shameless ogling, a sentiment that quickly faded away after he cut the last of the sweet potato, slightly shifting his angle, granting you an even clearer, more direct view of his effort as he took on slicing the carrots. Those offered less resistance, so when he started once again, it was in a brisker rhythm, each motion, each accompanying sound a note in the sinewy symphony of movement before you, capturing your full attention. There was no denying it now.
This was decidedly a thing.
Nanami finally threw a sidelong glance in your direction, and this time, you were sure that heâd caught you red-handed; you couldnât even pretend to be subtle anymore, and you fully expected him to finally call you out on your staring when your eyes met and he spoke again.
âSo is it wood then?â he said, a statement more than a question, breaking neither his gaze nor his rhythm as he continued to chop the vegetables.
His seemingly random question juxtaposed with his casual demeanor had completely thrown you for a loop. For the few seconds you tried to decipher it, your mind was in a bit of a whirlwind, and you briefly thought that perhaps it had finally happened, that youâd finally lost your mind, that you were far enough gone that you were now hallucinating and hearing nonsense.
âIâm sorry⌠Wood?â you asked, completely puzzled.
âYour secret ingredient for this dish? Iâm assuming thatâs what thatâs about,â he said as he gestured his head towards the stove, bringing your attention to the wooden spoon youâd distractedly long since let slip out of your fingers and fall into the stockpot, nearly fully submerged in the broth.
âHa. Very funny,â you said, trying and failing to suppress a snicker at just how ridiculous this situation, and the circumstances that led to it, were. âYou should be minding your carrots, sir.â
You reached for the tip of the spoon that was still accessible and carefully tried to pinch it at an angle that would spare your fingers from being burned on the edge of the red-hot pot.
âYes, chef,â Nanamiâs voice broke the tense silence just as you were about to retrieve the spoon, and something about the comedic delayed timing of his response sent you over the edge as you let the chortle you didnât realize youâd been desperately holding escape your lips, along with a sudden movement that only served to push the distressed spoon to slide deeper into the pot.
âDamn it, look at what youâve done!â you cried out, your giggles betraying your attempt to mask your amusement.
Nanami chuckled as he reached his arm over, muscles flexing with the extension, coming to the rescue just in time to grab the tip of the spoonâs handle by the last few millimetres that remained safe. Just as he expertly brought the spoon into the adjoining sink for rinsing, a sharp exhale escaped him, transfiguring into an earnest burst of laughter, rich and unrestrained.
âIâm glad my troubles, which you caused, by the way, amuse you so much.â You brought a hand to your face, partly to cover what was now decidedly a shared laughter between you two, partly to conceal the embarrassment you felt about what your indiscretion had brought you.
âThanks,â you said sheepishly when he handed you the now clean spoon, before adding with caution, âI know you want to, donât say it again.â
âYouâre welcome,â he replied with a smirk and a rising intonation as he resumed cutting the vegetables, an anticipated implication that he would defy your request.
You told yourself that there would be ample time later, for entertaining the colorful thoughts that permeated as a low hum in the background of your mind for the remainder of that evening, as you stole more subtle glances at him throughout the rest of your dinner prep, as you later chatted away over a successfully prepared meal. That youâd admonish yourself later tonight, for engaging in the all too tempting mental exercise of imagining other uses for Nanamiâs arms, and for relishing in the creative results this yielded.
Slipping.
The threadbare mask youâd painstakingly managed to keep up thus far was now slipping.
The closing weeks of the first term of the new school year found you firmly ensconced in what was now a deepening romantic relationship with Nanami. By now, youâd long since stowed it neatly at the back of your mind; the notion that each passing day only inched you closer to that future, inevitable moment when you would be pushed to confront whatever consequences would come out of the sweet release of disclosure.
An inflection point would precede all this, however â a pivotal moment you would only pinpoint in retrospect, arriving on a late July afternoon marked by a suffocating heatwave.
The beads of sweat were finally beginning to cool on your forehead as the minutes ticked by. The small fan Nanami had placed on the coffee table before you a few minutes prior served as a scant but much-appreciated last defence against the thick, humid air, which had long since frizzed the edges of your once-sleek, silk-pressed hair.
About half an hour had passed since youâd both languidly stumbled into this unused office, desperately seeking refuge within what was seemingly the sole room in this building benefitting from a window that did not directly face the scorching midday sun, an oasis in a school building whose air conditioning had fallen to the whims of Murphyâs Law and had ceased to function during the cityâs warmest week on record.
Nanami sat at the desk toiling away at some mission report while you were slumped on the adjacent couch, tackling a lesson plan, each of you battling on different fronts of the same war against the heavy, humid air.
The usually lively post-lunchtime coworking session youâd both been looking forward to had thus taken a sluggish tenor as you tried to focus on each of your tasks while holding onto the last bit of sanity amidst these terrible conditions that were anything but workable.
Youâd swapped the hot tea youâd normally share at this time with a much less optimal cold drink that wound up being more ice than coffee, and instead of the usual buzz of conversation often consisting of Nanami delivering his scathing commentary on the latest episode of the new baking reality show youâd both been watching in tandem, a quiet stillness descended on you, only intermittently interrupted either by a sigh, the clacking sound of his keyboard, or the scribbling sound of your pen gliding across your tablet.
Out the cracked window, the cheerful chatter of some students who had gathered outside around some cold refreshments could be heard, and you wished you could emulate a fraction of their eager energy.
Only once the pen youâd been holding flew out of your hand, bouncing past your feet and rolling down somewhere under the couch, did you realize that youâd been absentmindedly tapping it against your knee in your fidgety distraction, its unceremonious clattering sound pulling you out of your contemplation.
You bent down and lazily padded the area just underneath the couch, first with your foot, then with your fingers, but they came up empty, finding only the ridged hardwood floor.
âAh, shit,â you muttered under your breath. Now was not the time for this.
A very irrational reevaluation of the merits of completing a lesson plan in time for said lesson began to creep into your thoughts, and just as you began to contemplate abandoning ship for the day, Nanami calmly rose from his seat and made his way towards you, having observed the entire debacle out of the corner of his eye.
âThis damn penâŚâ you bemoaned as you padded the same area over and over again, as though it would magically materialize after the umpteenth pass.
âIâll get it,â Nanami said coolly as he crouched by you, right in the cramped space separating the coffee table from the couch that seated you.
You lifted your head, and it was in this newfound proximity that you took in just how much his tone contrasted with his demeanor, and how affected he was by these sweltering conditions.
It was evidenced in the way his disheveled hair clung onto his sweaty forehead, his tie off and draped over his shoulders, in the way the first two buttons of his shirt were undone, exposing his gleaming collarbone and in the haphazard manner by which his sleeves were pushed back to his elbows, wrinkled and uneven. It had you wondering whether it was just you or if this heat wave somehow managed to melt away a certain poise Nanami usually carried, giving him a rugged, slightly more cavalier allure that even you found to be rather novel.
It crossed your mind that perhaps it was a different kind of heat, one that had little to do with the weather that held dominion over these wandering thoughts.
Nanami brought his knuckles to the floor, extending his legs behind him and holding his body straight and taut as he flexed his arms, lowering himself in a controlled movement before dipping his head to glance underneath the couch. He reached one hand just by your right foot, while expertly hovering his chest just a couple of inches above the floor. The subtle bulging of his muscles beneath his shirt as they tensed certainly did not escape you.
Your eyes flicked first to the pen Nanami was now handing you, then back to his face, where you found a nearly imperceptible air of contentment and the beginnings of an amused smile. A silent testament, you thought, to his successful little expedition.
âLifesaver,â you said, returning his smile. âMy students get to have a class tomorrow, thanks to you.â Your attempt at feigning a relaxed demeanor held, until, that is, your fingers brushed against his as you took the pen, and you tried to suppress the involuntary hitch in your breath at the contact.
Get it together, girl, you thought to yourself, as you watched Nanami bring his hand to the floor, still without a word, expecting him to return to his seat.
Instead, with a measured exhale, Nanami lowered himself back towards the ground.
âI can feel it, you knowâŚâ When he finally spoke, it was barely audible over the buzzing fan, addressing the floor more than you.
âHmm?â you said as you cautiously glanced down towards him.
âThe tension.â He concluded his sentence, his voice even, low in tone yet loud in the relative silence. He held the position, his body a straight line from shoulders to toes, arms at a near-perfect right angle. His eyes kept straight ahead, and you couldâve sworn that it was only once your eyes traced over his arms, sparse hairs smoothened by the glistening sweat, that he finally extended them, raising himself in a smooth movement with a light grunt as he exhaled.
You felt your chest tighten.
âWhat tension?â you asked, unsure why you were murmuring, fairly sure that you should be bracing to hear whatever he had to say next.
âOne,â he let out, his voice a low rumble, tilting his head up and peering at you through the blonde strands of hair that now fell over his eyes, holding your gaze just long enough for it to be noticeable, before his arms bent again, exerting muscles that revealed a striking pattern stretched over clearly defined veins. He lowered himself once more and pushed back up, a swift movement this time.
âTwo,â he spoke again as he lowered himself into what was now clearly yet another push-up.
Amid this unbearable heat and out of seemingly nowhere, Nanami Kento had broken into some damn push ups.
âThe tension. In my neck, through my shoulders, down to my lower back. That chair is stiff, less than ergonomic. And sitting in it all dayâŚâ he trailed off, his eyes lingering on you before he counted again.
âThree.â
Despite the now unmistakable smirk stretching Nanamiâs lips, his tone was deceptively even, holding a rough rasp devoid of any strain, and it went straight to your core, trickling as a tingle down between your legs as your throat suddenly went tight and dry.
âSitting in it all dayâŚâ he started again, picking up where he left off. âSomething about the stretch of this exercise brings me so much relief.â
Nanami returned his focus to the space on the floor, right between his palms, allowing you the opportunity to keenly observe him. By now, heâd slipped into a fluid rhythm, each push upwards, each descent executed with control. His breathing was audibly rhythmic, quick exhales as he pumped his arms taut, muscles shifting as they flexed. He made the whole thing look so effortless, so damn hot.
You mentally clung to the justification that you were truly defenceless with your eyes here, on Nanami, on his flexing arms but your mind decidedly elsewhere, faced with your traitorous mind and the trips your it took down memory lane, back to other occasions during which youâd witnessed Nanami engaged in a similar exercise in a much different context, echoes from moments of shared passion past. You tried to defend yourself; it wasnât your fault if, suddenly, momentarily, it became the most rational idea in the world to join him on this office floor and to slide yourself just under him. That if you were quiet enough, perhaps you could avoid being heard over the whirring sound of this fan, fluting up in the air and traveling out the ajar door and window, andâ
That train of thought sent a jolting awareness of your surroundings, of your location, surging you back to reason.
âSixteen,â you heard Nanamiâs voice reemerging to the forefront of your mind.
You straightened your spine, pushing the capped end of your pen into your thigh in a misplaced attempt to maintain what little grip you had remaining on yourself and to find your footing, refusing to concede defeat to this dangerous game he had instigated.
âNanami-san,â you started, the formal addition of the honorific to his surname eliciting a light chuckle that settled into further reinvigoration as he rose again, his muscles scrumptiously straining with push-up number God-knows-what as he picked up the pace. âI donât know if the heat finally got to your head, or if this is your very roundabout way of asking for a massage or what, but you are doing entirely too much and I shouldââ
âDid someone say massage?â
A familiar, boisterous voice rang in the tense silence, causing you to jump in your seat and prompting Nanami to snap his head up towards the door. âI heardâWoah, you two are living good in here! Why are you gatekeeping the cool room?â
âGojo, have you ever heard of knocking?â Nanami said, his tone finding a level of acerbity that was even further pronounced than the one he typically addressed him with.
âSo mean to your favorite senpai, Nanamin⌠Besides, doorâs wide open, and you don't seem to be busy working, so itâs fair game, right?â He looked to you for a confirmation you were still far too shaken to give, even if youâd wanted to humor him.
Gojo appeared to be the least affected by the heat wave out of everyone. Heâd maintained his usual energetic demeanor, which he displayed now by shamelessly waltzing into the office like he personally owned it. âOh, hey⌠Where the hell did you find a fan?â
Nanami let out an audible sigh that sounded more like a groan, rising from what would be his final push-up for now into a kneeling position before getting back on his feet. For what felt like the first time in forever, you could finally feel yourself breathe again, Gojoâs interruption having managed to defuse the dangerously charged energy that almost had you willing to risk it all. Only when the heat made a resurgence to the forefront of your mind did you realize just how dangerously dulled your senses had been rendered.
âNanamiiiin, Iâm so good at massages. Relax and let me give you oneâŚâ Gojo said as he extended his arms forward and wiggled them towards a defenceless Nanami.
âAbsolutely not,â Nanami said firmly, backing up towards where you were still seated on the couch, only cornering himself and you in the process.
You scooted aside on the two-seater, grabbing your tablet in one hand and gently pulling on Nanamiâs arm with the other, enacting your spontaneous plan for a quick escape.
âCome on, Nanamin,â you crooned, using the sobriquet Gojo relentlessly employed. âYou were just complaining about the tension, right? Gojo barely seems to feel the heat, and heâs far stronger than me. Iâm sure heâll do a better job than I could ever dream.â
A few swift movements and youâd maneuvered up from the sofa, and stood behind the desk, decidedly flipping the positions you and Nanami had taken for the afternoon.
âShe is so right!â Gojo explained, only further reinvigorated by your endorsement. âSit back, Nanami! It will be my honor to take care of my bestie!â
You kept your gaze on Nanami as he fixed you through narrowed eyes that telegraphed the quiet wrath he had for you for this transgression, for the ultimate act of betrayal it was to inflict Gojo Satoru upon him, a man for with virtually no concept of personal space, on an unbearably humid day like today, no less.
Under different circumstances, you would feel a tiny twinge of guilt for pulling a gambit like this; alas, Nanami had chosen his game, and youâd chosen yours in turn, one that just so happened to involve the exploitation of the godsend that was a classic and chaotic Gojo-induced distraction. So instead, you snickered in your corner as you watched the white-haired menace slide himself behind Nanami and unnecessarily wrap his arms around his chest, eliciting a visceral swat of a hand, along with a cautionary âDonâtâ from his visibly irritated counterpart.
You caught Kentoâs eye and met his challenging look with a smirk not unlike the one plastered on his face not two minutes ago, when heâd subtly yet relentlessly teased you.
Would there be hell to be paid later? Probably. But for now, you could at least slip away while the two former schoolmates bickered. Now you thought that perhaps joining the students in partaking in refreshments wouldnât be such a bad idea. You could use a chance to cool off.
And to stop yourself from slipping any further.
If your so-called mask had been hanging on by a thread, it was not in a single moment, but gradually, over the months which followed, that it completely chipped away, much like driftwood being nudged away from the shore by the lapping of gentle waves.Â
As you and Kento spent more time together, you both grew more comfortable around one another, becoming more honest and comfortable, and gradually uncovering each otherâs strengths and flaws, preferences and aversions, virtues and vices with an acceptance that felt natural and easy.
Your bond had strengthened by now, having long since crossed the line delineating work from life partners, and you were now bound by a promise to make the ultimate promise to one another.
In between these deeper, candid moments, smaller revelations emerged: the subtle ticks and habits, the unintentional mannerisms and underlying drives, the little unspoken details that were concomitant with a blossoming courtship. Suffice it to say that youâd inevitably shared your predilection for Kentoâs arms in many ways, some less subtle than others.
On one such occasion, it had slipped out a confession concealed in a question, one day as you were having breakfast together. After some light prodding from your part, Nanami finally relented and gave you an answer other than âeverythingâ when youâd playfully asked him what his favorite feature of yours was; âfingerprints of joyâ was the exact term heâd used as a simple yet touching description of your dimples whenever youâd smile, an answer that made you seriously consider tempering your response once heâd inevitably flip the question back to you.
Tried as you might, you ended up being significantly less civil than he was, âmy favorite necklaceâ being one of the bolder terms youâd not-so-facetiously employed, contrasting the softer, playful drag of your finger over his bicep.
The comfortable rapport that had settled between you was not one you took for granted; it was one of the few wherein you could simply be yourself and not have it be âtoo muchâ; it was the same intimacy that unveiled the tormenting tease beneath Kentoâs surface. And there was an inimitable joy derived from appreciating the man that you loved, warm fuzzies associated with making him blush, or smile, or laugh, whenever you flipped the usual script and when it was you who placed him in the crosshairs of your playful provocation, for once.
By now, you were reasonably convinced that the storm had sufficiently passed, and you figured you could breathe easier, relieved that the passage of time, along with a normalized exposure to Nanami Kento, had successfully dulled the more ardent manifestations of your fixation with your favorite physical trait of his.
What you certainly did not expect was for what you would only later understand to be a dormant force to re-surge with a furious vengeance in the early hours of the morning during a quick weekend getaway.
It was a trip youâd secretly planned in a relatively short time, fueled largely by an experience youâd had one evening just a few days prior, when your fiancĂŠ had returned home exhausted after a tough mission closing out a gruelling multi-week assignment.
Though you werenât unused to the physically and emotionally taxing nature of your duties, youâd hated what youâd seen that night, in the culmination of weeks of relentless work with no break. Reserved as he was, Nanami was not infallible. Youâd grown to know him very well by now, more than anyone else; youâd immediately detected the telltale signs of exhaustion, made apparent in his tone, devoid of its usual edge, and in the weariness etched on his face, and perhaps more evidently, in the way that heâd completely crashed as soon as heâd dragged himself out of the quick shower heâd barely managed to stay awake to take. He was burning out, long overdue for a break.
That night, you stayed up in the early hours of the morning, concocting your plan.
Youâd worked through most of the night to pull as many strings as a Grade 2 sorcerer ostensibly could, drafting messages aimed to cash in on the decent amount of goodwill youâd garnered amongst your colleagues over the past few years. Ultimately, however, what truly helped you bring this endeavor over the finish line was leveraging your connection to one of the owners of a top-of-the-line, nearly always sold-out kikufuku shop, in conjunction with what was now a burgeoning friendship with Gojo. Although, in retrospect, you suspected that the fellow teacher would have settled for having any involvement with a plan of keeping a secret from Nanami as being adequate compensation.Â
By the time youâd clocked out on the following day, youâd managed the impressive feat of securing some overlapping time off for Nanami and yourself, and of successfully planning a short coupleâs getaway.
A few days later, the fruits of your labor surfaced in the form of a considerably more tranquil version of Nanami.
Today was already the final day of what now felt like too short of a trip, and having opted to sleep in on the two mornings prior, youâd both made it a point to wake up early in order to catch todayâs sunrise over the beach. With the consequences of a very late night still weighing heavily on your eyelids, youâd both emerged from a gruelling battle against sleepiness, just barely victorious.
It was just before five in the morning when you were groggily strolling the sandy beach situated just behind the resort you were staying at.
An inconspicuous glance at Nanami disclosed his relaxed posture and his softened facial features, a stark departure from the overstressed man whoâd slumped into your shared home a few days ago. Your heart warmed now, as you observed him in this relatively rare form, dressed in a relaxed t-shirt and khaki shorts, arms moving in a loose, subtle swing as he walked carrying his sandals in one hand and a beach blanket in the other, how his hair was ethereally tousled by the whispering late summer ocean breeze.
He was lost in thought, chest rising and falling in deep, intentional breaths, and you hoped that he too, was taking in the salty scent of the ocean, that he too, could anchor himself in the serenity of the moment as the sound of the waves set a gentle rhythm to your sleepy steps, that he could ground himself in the soft feeling of warm sand yielding under his bare feet. And if this moment could serve as a modicum of respite, as a sliver of an escapist refuge both now and in the inevitable future moments when they would be called for, then you would consider your mission as being accomplished.
You halted your march just as the sky began to blush with hues of golden orange, towards which you turned, and Nanami followed suit, setting down the blanket heâd brought for you to sit on. You hadnât made it too far from the resort, just enough to escape the early morning crowd; only a few other fellow beachgoers were sparsely spread out on the semi-secluded section of the beach. You settled onto the left end of the blanket, expecting him to join beside you, only to feel the unanticipated pressure of his body behind you instead.
Nanami carefully repositioned himself, gently snaking one arm around your waist and the other around your shoulders, pulling you toward him and enclosing you in a tender hug from behind. You mentally traced his movements by the way his warm breath moved from fanning the top of your head, over the back of your neck, and onto the side of your cheek, as he punctuated his journey with a soft kiss just below your jawline before his head settled on the right side of yours.
You closed your eyes, a contented sigh escaping your lips, and you wished nothing more than to ingrain this little haven of tranquility into your mind, for it to become the unforgettable safe place to which you could always revert.
Just as you turned your gaze to witness the sun now making its definitive ascent over the ocean, you thought you felt Nanamiâs grip tighten ever so slightly in a shift so nearly imperceptible that you questioned whether it had even happened. It was a concern that quickly became secondary to your sudden awareness of the flimsy nature of the fabrics comprising his cotton t-shirt and your mesh cover-up forming the trivial barrier between his warm, well-defined arms against your cool skin, to the compromising position you now were in.
A sudden tension traveled through your body, seeking a place to nest as you fidgeted with the hem of your top, trying to return your focus to the wonderful scene unfolding ahead.
âWhat a perfect sunrise,â you ventured, in your best attempt to sound casual.
Nanami only offered a low hum in agreement, resonating and vibrating through your ear. And then, you felt it again: a slight upward shift of his hold, a minute increase in pressure.
This time, it was unmistakable.
Every sensation intensified tenfold in that moment. His muscular chest pressing into your back, his breath tickling your neck, the crook of his arm resting gently just below your chin, close, so dangerously close that you could lick it.
Without much thought, you brought your hands up and closed them over his biceps, at least as much as they could possibly wrap around their circumference, and slid over them, getting a good feel for the flexed muscles underneath his skin, until you landed on his elbows.
And then you pressed inwards.
Your move met no resistance, resulting in his caged arms further tightening across your chest. A sharp exhale escaped your lips as the feeling reverberated through your body, sending a shiver down your spine and straight to your core. You instinctively brought your thighs together, their friction only exacerbating the very sensation you were looking to evade. Your breath hitched, and you felt your mouth go dry.
As you tilted your head, leaning further back into Nanami, something you didnât think could be possible, you could now distinguish the accelerating thumping sound of your heartbeat against your chest just under where his arms held you. You couldnât imagine that he wasnât privy to the escalating effect this all had on you.
He sat up straighter, a shift in movement that pushed his elbow right below your neck. Again, you felt it, gradual pressureâmeasured, steady, much like its perpetrator.
Just within biting distance, came the intrusive thought, popping into your mind like a sudden gust of wind in still air. It would be the first of many over the next few minutes, and you didnât exactly know how much time passed as you staved off the ones that erred on the more wanton side of things, the ones that had you making a mental, logistical calculus of how much you could reasonably get away with, on this waterfront sparsely dotted by a few fellow beachgoers.
Nanamiâs steady voice suddenly rumbled behind you, almost rattling you. âQuite the breathtaking sight, well worth the early wake up.â
And before you knew it, it was over. The sun was now up in earnest.
Nanami slowly loosened his grip on you, and still, you almost toppled to the side as you returned to reality, to where you were, to your packed itinerary for this final day of this short getaway, the one youâd meticulously planned and shared with Nanami with an excitement heâd reciprocated, a plan you found yourself now willing to completely discard and replace with the other, much simpler one you now had in mind.
You slowly turned to face Kento, attempting to gauge his body language, and found his eyes still fixed on the soaring sun behind you, engaged in a slow cross-arm stretch, and you could almost see the tension release and exit through his gentle sigh. If he was perturbed at all, he showed no signs of it.
Then, with a sudden shift, he switched arms, locking eyes with you.
âShall we get breakfast, then?â he asked, casual as ever. âThat concierge did a solid job pitching that brioche French toast. Iâm itching to try it now.â
And had you not known him better, you wouldâve missed the near imperceptible lilt of the tone of his voice, the hints of mirth crinkling at the corner of his eyes, the echoes of a knowing smirk under his deceptively soft smile.
You would have missed these details, had you not known better, following this sunrise that would long stick with you, for all the improper reasons, and you wouldnât have suspected that, far more likely than not, Nanami Kento knew exactly what the hell he was doing.
The evening on which your suspicions were confirmed came a few months later, on the tail end of a chaotically busy period.
The combined effects of missed dinners and hurried goodbyes, of long work shifts and scheduling conflicts, had compounded, barely affording Nanami so much as a stolen moment with you, much less the quality time he yearned for.
Arduous missions stretched late into nights, and heâd find you home long after youâd lost your battle against somnolence; on your end, you could almost hear the guilt of your failure to stay awake ring loudly in the silence of the early hours of the morning, when youâd find Nanami crashed next to you, with exhaustion spelled on his face.
Canceled lunch dates were communicated in brief text messages youâd punctuate with goofy animated GIFs, a consolation tactic Nanami wouldâve otherwise found to be endearing had it not carried the very calculated mandate of allowing you to evade his enquiries about whether youâd found the time to eat your first meal of the day.
Pure intentions and poor luck, right places but wrong times, and the universe appeared to be conspiring against you.
All the while, sitting just beneath the surface, was the simmering unease, steady as a metronome whose pulses were the moments of lucidity that pulled Nanami out of the comfortable shroud of the feigned normalcy heâd allowed himself to slip into. It was the same sentiment that caused his throat to constrict after encountering those occasional close-call encounters that had him face a formidable cursed spirit, the same feeling that transfigured into a pit in his stomach whenever it was you who was out on the field, and he hadnât heard from you in a while. The ever-present threat now carried the weight of something unprecedentedly precious, and every once in a while, he would be subjected to reminders that were as intangible as they were painful, reminders that this line of work remained incredibly dangerous, and that this could all come to a very sudden end.
The Jujutsu Tech car came to an abrupt halt, jolting Nanami out of his contemplation.
His fingers brushed the cool metal of the door handle just as he peered into the rearview mirror from the backseat, and when his eyes locked with those of the colleague heâd spent the bulk of the week with, he found a weary gaze, reflective of the relentless pace of their recent assignments.
âThank you for waiting, Ijichi. I should only be a few minutes,â Nanami said, giving the assistant manager an appreciative nod before exiting the car and making his way towards the training field.
On the radial bridge between surrender and acceptance, Nanami often found gratitude to be his only path out of ruinous rumination.
So today, he chose to be grateful.
Grateful for having cleared his mission much earlier than expected, and for the time this afforded him to take a trip to the campus facilities, to shower and to get into a clean change of clothes, in the hopes of catching you just as your lesson ended.
Grateful for Ijichi chauffeuring him from the dorms back to the training field where he could wait for you to wrap up your lesson and for agreeing to drive you both back home, together, finally for the first time in weeks.
Grateful for the current moment that granted him this sight of you, mid-lesson as you supervised a hand-to-hand combat session for a group of students, a view heâd grown both so fond and so familiar with.
The aluminum bleachers squeaked under Nanamiâs weight as he took a seat, his eyes never leaving you as you paced behind the three pairs of students engaged in their bouts, occasionally stopping either to correct a stance or to provide some feedback. The visual transported him to a similar moment that found him on this very row of seats a little over a year and a half ago, a memory as sharp and clear as if it had occurred just yesterday.
You were alone when he noticed you.
Only a few weeks removed from the day heâd traded his briefcase for his blunt sword, an inexplicable unease and sense of displacement still loomed over Nanamiâs head even as he walked the once-familiar campus grounds. His quest to locate a quiet spot to enjoy a late lunch in peace and away from one particularly aggravating Gojo Satoru led him to these training field bleachers.
Heâd resigned himself to a life of relative solitude from the moment heâd crossed the threshold out of his office building for the final time, intent on leaving any semblance of his paltry attempt at a civilianâs life behind. The Jujutsu world had always been less than ideal, and a return to this life had meant making certain self-evident vows to himself, one of which being that he wouldnât drag anyone into his orbit while he was active.
Never had he imagined that he would be the one dragged into someoneâs orbit. Into yours.
Youâd emerged from the field house on that early fall day, just as he opened the bento box heâd packed with the previous nightâs leftovers. Even from this distance, he recognized you as the Grade 2 instructor heâd been vaguely acquainted with via cursory greetings, the one heâd continuously heard Ino speak so highly of.
Nanami observed as you entered a sequence of practice drills with your cursed weapon, a long spear that you worked so fluidly, as though it were an extension of your body. Each of your moves was a masterclass in balance between power and restraint, each strike precisely measured, each swing calculated. He watched as you thrust your weapon into wide, controlled motions that sent the long drapes of your skirt twirling in the wind, dark curls whipping around your face with your movements, the autumnal afternoon sun warmed your brown skin with a soft honeyed glow. By the time his phone vibrated to signal the end of his break, Nanami glanced down, only to find his bento untouched.
Perhaps he was compelled to take a few more late lunches following that day.
When Ino indirectly called him out on this new habit of his, it was Nanamiâs ingrained inability to stray too far from candor that rendered him unable to outright deny the younger sorcererâs cheeky hypothesis, that the true reason heâd opted to spend so many recent lunch breaks eating at those benches rather than the significantly more comfortable break room was because âthe view was better out thereâ. Nanami understood from the moment heâd uttered his vague non-answer that it would mark the first point of exposure.
This inevitability was confirmed, a few weeks later, the cat decidedly out of the bag when Yuuji made a grand display of throwing his two thumbs up through the window just as Nanami slid into the booth seat across yours at a nearby cafe one day as heâd invited you to have tea after clearing another mission together.
âYou do so well with Yuuji,â youâd said, once the teen was out of sight, dragged away by the sleeve by the young Nobara. âThat boy is very lucky to have you as his teacher.â
âWell, technically Iâm not a teacher,â Nanami replied in a tone that failed to convince even himself.
âYou teach him things, Nanami. Thatâs the textbook definition of a teacher.â
A silent pause settled between you. Nanami stirred his tea absentmindedly as he watched you cut the apple strudel youâd ordered into smaller pieces.
âIâve been thinking about joining the faculty,â he said, the words barely formed before leaving his lips.
âOh, thatâs wonderful, Nanami! I would be so thrilled!â you exclaimed. Nanami watched you quickly straighten up in an obvious attempt to dial back your expressed excitement, but heâd already witnessed you perk up, your genuine reaction stirring something deep and pleasant within him.
âWe all would,â you quickly added. âEspecially Gojo. You know he would immediately take credit for it.â
Nanami brought his eyes shut and rubbed his temples at the thought, âPlease, Iâm not even there yet. Iâve not talked to Gojo about thisâŚâ He paused again, opening his eyes to lock onto yours. âOr anyone else, for that matter.â
âOh⌠So Iâm getting the exclusive?â You replied in playful conspiracy. âI feel so privileged.â
Nanami nodded quietly with a light, nervous chuckle, picking at the biscuit on his plate but not finding the will to take a bite from it.
âBut in all seriousness, you should go for it. Youâre a great mentor and a skilled sorcerer. The school could badly use someone like you.â
To this, he said nothing, his eyes wandering out the window in contemplation.
âHowever,â you ventured after a brief moment. âIf you have any reservations, and you ever want to talk about themâŚâ You trailed off, leaving the invitation suspended in the air.
Nanamiâs reservations were so many, most of which he couldnât possibly attempt to articulate even as they jockeyed for position in his mind. When he glanced back at you, he could sense you hanging onto his silence.
âYouâve done this for a while. Tell me your best piece of advice about teaching.â
He watched you gather your thoughts, pressing your lips together and narrowing your eyes like heâd seen you do countless times when a student would ask you a question and you would carefully formulate an answer.
âIf you ever forget what itâs like to be a kid, get out. Thereâs no point in doing any of this if you canât place yourself in their shoes, or yours, ten, fifteen years ago. As long as you remember the powerlessness and the lack of agency that comes not only with being young but with being condemned to our way of life, to seeing cursesâŚâ Nanami watched you pause to take the first bite at a piece of strudel, and as you chewed, he could almost see the rest of your thought forming through your eyes. âItâs such a burden, one no one should bear alone, least of all a child. At least, thatâs how I see it.â
Before this moment, Nanami had tried repeatedly so, to qualify this magnetic draw to you, to label it. Was it the juxtaposition of the soft-spoken instructor against the fierceness you appeared to carry? Was it your nuanced condemnation of a system, all the while dedicating yourself to its people?
Perhaps it was at this moment, Nanami would ponder later, that heâd decided that this way of life was one worth living rather than simply surviving.
âHey, you. You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?â the playful tone of your voice snapped Nanami, who had been too engrossed to notice your approach, back to the current moment.
Gratitude.
He rose from his seat, bringing his hands up to gently cup your face, and leaned in to brush his lips against yours in a tender kiss. You froze momentarily, caught a bit off guard; for as physically affectionate as you now were with one another, neither of you was usually the type to engage in public displays of this, particularly not on campus. Today, Nanami quietly broke this unspoken precedent.
Only the first of the several he would break later.
âWe have a ride, if youâre ready to leave now,â he said after he slowly pulled away. The notes of your lip balm were of vanilla, but to him, they carried the familiar taste of a fragile slice of happiness.
âYeah⌠Iâm beyond ready,â you murmured, still reeling a bit at the surprise, at the intensity of the moment. âLetâs get the hell out of here before I get roped into some last-minute bullshit, like last week.â
If the lapse in Nanamiâs usual propriety was displayed in that one kiss, yours would manifest in several ways before you made the short ride back to your shared apartment.
And much as heâd done on so many occasions from the training field bleachers, Nanami simply watched you.
He watched as you leaned into him in the backseat of the car, running your hand against his thigh, innocently at first, then moving dangerously close to his crotch with every caressing stroke. The self-satisfied grin that stretched your lips as you detected a hitch in his breath did not escape him.
He watched as you teased him on the elevator ride up to your apartment as you pressed your back against his front, giving him a subtle, deliberate press and grind and catching his eyes in the reflective panel, just in time to watch his gaze falter ever-so-slightly. This, too, heâd remember.
He watched you, knowing that you enjoyed all of it, that you thrilled at the mischievous pleasure it was to poke the agitated bear, and he let you have your fun, exercising a restraint he didnât think himself capable to maintain after a long, stressful and restrictive week spent nearly entirely away from you.
But as soon as you crossed the threshold into your shared apartment, as soon as he shut the door behind him and turned around to find your hands gripping onto his tie, pulling, yanking, his face down towards yours, almost too zealously?
Nanami decided heâd watched long enough.
He pushed back into you, his hands working in concert as one brought your fists together and off their hold while the other slipped into your hair, kneading your scalp down to the base of your nape. Assertive yet tender, his touch was a study in contrasts, sending a single, tantalizing shiver down your spine, igniting into a fizzing warmth in your stomach.
Your tongues met right before his searing lips closed onto yours in a kiss that was so urgent, so fervent, dripping with an eagerness you hadnât felt in a while. He swallowed your whimper as your back lightly hit the vestibule wall, a reaction that wrenched a low, self-satisfied growl from his chest. Nanami could feel it now, more than everâseveral daysâ worth of unmistakably pent-up energy coalescing into a single, white hot ache.
He was unwilling to relinquish any closeness, not even now, as you peeled off him momentarily with a small, breathless gasp, two of your quick, heaving breaths to each of his. He felt your drumming pulse on his lips as he settled into the side of your neck, his mouth just below your jawline.
His mind replayed the slightly disappointed expression heâd discerned on your face earlier this morning, which now felt like a lifetime ago, after a phone call heâd later admonish himself for taking summoned him, along with his fellow Grade 1 sorcerers, to the school for a meeting that definitely could have been an email, just as youâd brought him a cup of orange juice to pair with his toast. He heard himself groan out in frustration now, at the memory of the first breakfast you were having together in weeks being unceremoniously cut short, and he nipped at your throat, eliciting a moan from you that faded into the background of the hazy, regretful thoughts that were reinvigorating him to make up for lost time.
The late afternoon sun was mostly blocked out by the heavy living area window curtains, which had remained drawn, a testament to the hurried exits you both made earlier. Nanamiâs eyes were slowly getting accustomed to the dark, just enough to catch your warm brown eyes searching his as you gently pressed your palm against his chest, blinking up slowly at him with an unreadable gaze. He sensed you shifting your left foot behind your right one and glanced down just in time to watch you slip out of your second shoe, but not before you slid your knee up the inside of his leg, pressing and rubbing against his crotch teasingly, evoking an uncontrolled hiss out of him at the unexpected contact.
âMissed me, Kento?â you crooned.
A light chuckle rumbled up through Nanamiâs chest. âMaybe just a little,â he mumbled.
âJust a little? Just maybe? Come on now. Weâre well into a few weeks married now. Surely you can be more honest with me,â you replied, in mock offence.
âOh, you donât find me honest?â he said with a scoff, something dark in his response.
Instead of pulling away from this newfound, compromising position, Nanami doubled down, firmly pressing his hips to yours, forcing your leg back down, and you found yourself now trapped between the wall and the visibly voracious man before you.Â
For the brief second he brought his head down to your shoulder, with his hot breath ghosting over your neck and his lips grazing your ear, you expected him to say something, to call you out, to chastise you, but instead, his response came as a slow, deliberate roll of his hips against yours, ensuring you felt every last inch of the increasingly stiffening problem youâd helped create against your core.
You arched into him with a throaty gasp as his lips found the base of your throat once more, lightly nibbling. His hand closed on your hip, firmly gripping it in place as he leaned against the wall to summarily kick off his shoes, not unlike you just did a mere few seconds ago.
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â you ventured, in between the two languid grinds of his hips that pushed his thigh to settle between your legs. âAre you honest?â
The dark chuckle preceding Nanamiâs reply should have served as your first warning.
âAre you?â
His fingers twisted around the hem of your shirt, and you could already tell, in the way he pulled it over your head in one swift movement, lobbing it over his shoulder with a dexterous flick of his wrist, that he would waste no time in dispensing with your clothing, that his desire to ignite this fuse burned just as brightly, perhaps even more fiercely, than your own.
Youâd barely heard your top land unceremoniously on the linoleum floor before feeling his fingers reaching to do the same with your camisole, goosebumps erupting where he grazed your skin, spreading like wildfire. You pulled at his tie again, pulling him down and planting another kiss on his lips, something slower, more sensual than the first. Only when its straps slipped down your arms did you realize that heâd used the moment to unhook your bra, and you shook out of it, letting it clatter to the floor as well.
Your second attempt at undoing his tie was thwarted once more, something slightly rougher in the way he grabbed your hands and drove them back down to your sides.
âTurn around,â Nanami said, brusquely. The space was quite dark, but you didnât need to discern the expression on his face to understand that the strained gentleness of his tone did not make this any less of a command, one you gladly obliged.
Your steadying hands met a texture, cooler and smoother than expected, meeting a bit of resistance as they glided over the surface. You felt a bit heady for the short moment it took you to reorient yourself, to realize your compromising position, to recognize the blurry outline of your own reflection in the flat, full-length mirror mounted against the vestibule wall.
You stilled and patiently waited, agitation melding with eager anticipation as your mind associated a vivid visual with the sound emanating behind you, one of the audible friction of sleeves sliding upward against bare skin, an enticing prelude of what you knew was to come.
Nanami trailed his hand along the waistband of your skirt, the one he loved so much; it looked so good on you, it was so easy to remove. He hooked his deft fingers and slowly slipped them downwards until he met the resistance of the thickest part of your thighs, pushing past before allowing gravity to complete the endeavor. Your senses heightened as he haltingly did the same with your underwear; the slickness of your arousal was untouched but felt, unseen but heard as he peeled off the final barrier covering you, the faint rustling of your underwear dropping onto the flooring marking the definitive end of his task.
Through the reflection, youâd observed Kentoâs actions.
Through the reflection, heâd observed you.
Your stomach fluttered with an invigorating sensation, and you thought you could weep in restless anticipation.
âTruth framed in silver,â he said, his tone guileful, his voice growing huskier with each word as he hovered his lips just above your ear, âthe mirror never lies.â
The shift in tenor of this encounter was suddenly palpable, and just as you were about to offer your best attempt at a matching response, his arm encircled you at the waist and he pulled you back towards him with a strong press of his fingertips into your hip, sending a jolt that went straight to your core. You caught it all in the reflection, a sight so deliciously distracting that you failed to notice his other hand surreptitiously sliding down between your legs.
Nanami hovered just over you, fingers lightly brushing against where you desired him the most, just long enough for you to suffer the ache of unspent need, just close enough for you to feel the pressure which had built within you and was now left hanging, and he found just enough dampness to gauge how utterly aroused you were. You bucked at the contact, barely stifling an impatient moan, eliciting another low scoff from Nanami, your second warning of the evening.
That Nanami now held the upper hand, and that you would suffer a bit for it.
For a moment, you thought about how quickly the tables had turned in this little back-and-forth. If you were going down, you thought, it wouldnât be without a fight. Just as you had half a mind to formulate a witty, provocative comment to retain some semblance of a footing in this battle of wits, Nanami slid his middle finger into you, hooking it upward, finding, in record time, the spot heâd long since learned to reduce your body to pure need.
An unbridled, breathy moan cascaded out of your lips, ringing loudly in the charged silence, a sound almost as obscene as the lack of resistance met by his articulate finger, and as the slick sound it made. You didnât have to look up to feel Nanamiâs steady gaze on your face as he took in every last detail of your reaction.
His fingers moved with gentle insistence, picking up a controlled but unrelenting pace. His ring finger joined a short moment later, padded tips rubbing against the most sensitive parts of your walls, moving with intensity, with intent, carrying the express purpose of proving a salient point. The slow pleasure building at the base of your spine had you squirming, incrementally bending down, instinctively going as low as Nanamiâs grasp would allow you, his arm otherwise holding you firmly in place.
âKentoâŚâ you whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut as you fought to stay tethered to reality.
âDonât look away.â Itâs another command uttered into your ear, traveling straight between your legs, his tone carrying a slight harshness this time and you opened your eyes, meeting what you knew to be a deeply watchful gaze, even as you only barely began to make out his features through eyes that were still getting accustomed to dimly lit surroundings.
Your head dropped slightly, and your eyes returned to the reflection of his hand and of his fingers. He picked up the pace, his movements growing more dauntless, as if he was putting on a show with an air of nonchalant pride. Your eyes glued to the sight of his calloused fingers repeatedly rubbing against that one sensitive area, the one heâd learned to relentlessly exploit in moments like these, when he both wanted and needed to bring you to a quick undoing.
It was too much; the feeling of Kentoâs long fingers working you, the sounds they made and how they mingled with your escalating whimpers; the occasional brush of his palm against you, the sensation of the wet line of kisses he traced from your bare shoulder to the side of your neck, his quickening breath on your exposed skin. You felt all of it, each element inching you closer towards the sweet solace of release after over a week of having to go without.
But what ultimately did it was the reflection in the mirror, the one that granted you an angle you were unused to, a visual whose details you were already committing to memory. There was just something about witnessing his fingers and the way they drove into you, twisting, seeking to unlock the deepest parts of you.
Your knack for ascribing meaning to the abstract concepts, a strength you often leaned on as a teacher, was now squarely working against you, etching indelible associations into your mind.
Like the manifestation of sheer strength earned through repetition and grit, the one Kento drew from to defeat those curses on a regular basis with dexterous swings of his arm, the same strength that now held you against him, the same strength powering his movements.
Or the precision heâd used that first time youâd watched him chop those vegetables in his kitchen, what now felt like eons ago, and how it was analogous to the way he was now driving into you with practiced precision.
Or even the rhythmic pull of the muscle against the edge of the fabric of his shirt sleeve and the way it sat snug on the curve of his forearm, adorned by the gleaming band of his watch, its cool metallic band occasionally brushing against you as he moved.
It was like that distant memory of the first time youâd been taken with the way heâd rolled up his sleeve in that infirmary, a quiet assertion of competence, of power, as heâd prepared to bring his task of filing his report to completion.
And how it was now you that Nanami Kento sought to bring to completion.
It was the last coherent thought you formed before the coil within you finally tightened beyond capacity. You were desperately chasing your imminent release, your hips rocking helplessly against his fingers, against his palm, greedily chasing that friction, and suddenly you were there, right over the edge. Words of warning sat on the tip of your tongue, not quite fully formed, but when your eyes focused on his, you saw the exact moment he read you.
âTell me how youâve missed this,â he said, and it was a gentler tone that carried words that appeared to be for him as much as they were for you. âShow me.â
âFuck, Iâmâ,â you breathed, trying but failing to catch the thought before it escaped you.
The first part of his request would go unfulfilled; you wouldnât get the words out, except for a light curse as you were hit with the thrilling force of your release. As for the latter part, he wouldnât have to ask twice.
You clenched around his fingers, hard, quivering through the breathless cries that fluted up into the air as you tipped your head back into his chest, clutching the arm that was still holding on to you. Nanami gave one insistent final press into your upper wall before stilling and letting you ride out your climax, soft praises in his low voice spilling into your ear, words you could only discern once your moans subsided moments later, once you began to come back to yourself.
When you reopened your eyes, you caught, in the reflection, the intense gaze of the architect of your unraveling and found something familiarly ruthless brimming just beneath the surface.
Nanami was far from being done with you.
The realization sent another tingling between your legs, causing you to inadvertently clench around the fingers you only now registered had remained inside you. After a moment, he began to pull them out in a tantalizingly slow, drag, and you certainly didnât miss the very deliberate brush of his hand back down against you, your slippery release aiding the downwards slide of his palm, past his wrist and just far enough to feel the ridges of his forearm which formed an unfamiliar but welcome sensation for your muscles to naturally clench around.
It crossed your mind that Kento was being premeditated in his movements, a hypothesis that was almost immediately supported once he rubbed his palm down once, twice, and a third time against your sensitive flesh before pulling away, meeting the slightest resistance as your body instinctively bucked up against his hand, and as it tried to keep a hold on it before he lifted his hand to your eye level. And when he extended the fingers of his hand, moving them slowly, presenting the sheen of your slick on them, showcasing with excruciating detail the mess youâd made on him, you understood that this man was dead set on being particularly relentless this evening.
Nanami leaned deeper over your shoulder, his ear pressed to your cheek, and brought his fingers to his mouth, licking them off, one by one, slowly, meticulously, his eyes fixed on yours through this once innocuous mirror, and all you could do was watch, exhale at the sight, and try not to lose the remainder of your mind at his low hums of satisfaction, at the sloppy sounds of his tongue laving over his fingers, and then down his arm over where heâd just dragged it against you.
A fucking menace.
Once he was through, Kento took half a step back, and you instinctively backed up into his steps, into him, knees feeling a bit shaky as your bare ass met his rigid hardness prominent even through the barriers provided by his pants.
The contact jolted some lucidity back into you, returning your capacity to discern further beyond the shapes reflected to you, to spot the nuances, to study the facial expressions youâd spent the last couple of years learning, a subject you could confidently teach an extensive course on from sheer memory. You could see them now, the small tells youâd picked up on throughout your relationship, evidenced in this particular furrowing of his brows, in the tightness of his jaw, in the way his shoulders were drawn taut in an attempt to contain an inordinate amount of tension. They were the ones confirming that Nanami Kento was also only hanging on by a thread, that maybe you still had a chance to recoup some of your lost ground, that perhaps you shouldnât count yourself out just yet.
It was a notion that revitalized you.
So you bent over, leaning onto your hands on either side of the mirrorâs edge, and pushed back against him, something of a long, most deliberate grind, your bare backside brushing against the fabric of his pants to which he let out an audibly sharp exhale and a small jump back from behind you.
âThere you are,â you murmured playfully, releasing a self-contented giggle as you felt him twitch within the confines of his boxers.
You leaned further back, trying to reach him again, seeking to recreate that enticing friction, but Kento was more swift this time around. He caught you, pulling you up and firmly holding you flush against his chest.
âTell meââ he started, his hot breath causing you to inadvertently buck into him, interrupting him. He steadied himself in recovery, snaking his arm around you and across your chest, returning his mouth to your ear and locking eyes with you once more before resuming. âTell me, was it honesty from your part when you copped out, that one time I held you like this?â
âI donât even know what youâre talking about,â you replied defiantly, feigning ignorance of the dire direction in which this conversation was headed.
Because you knew damn well what he was referring to. Youâd known it, as soon as Nanamiâs arms slid around you from this angle, squeezing the top of your chest in this particular way, the memory of that long weekend at the beach resort came rushing back to you, carrying along with it the feel of warm sand between your toes, the sound of crashing waves, the taste of salt on your lips, and the feeling of coming this close to tipping over even as you were held in place, of falling even as you sat firmly on sand, of vocalizing that one thing youâd wanted from Nanami for a while.
He nipped at your earlobe, bringing you back to attention, before continuing, âWas it honest of you to dangle that carrot, only to pull it all away?â
You scoffed at his playful audacity. âAlright, Kento. Letâs not be revisionist here, Iâm not the one who pulled away.â
âAh, so you do know what Iâm talking about. Good. Because never did I think that I would be led on by my own wife,â he said in a tone tinged with mock offence.
âLed on bâ Please. Donât even start. You and I both know you werenât going to do anything.â
He let out a short, amused chuckle at your indignation, followed by a low hum as his eyebrow shot up in a questioning arc. âElaborate. What do you mean by âanythingâ?â
You felt his words pierce through your thin veneer of indifference and land deep inside you, where the truth lay.
âAt the beach, Kento? In broad daylight in the early hours of the morning, in public? Yeah, thatâs not you,â you retorted, feeling your air of defiance slip with every word. Uncharacteristically off your bantering game, you tried not to wince at your rather meager attempt at evading his question.
âWhatâs. Not. Me?â He said as he held your gaze, a brazen challenge in his tone as he shifted his arms higher, squeezing tighter with each emphasized word, visibly not falling for your prevarication.
You felt like a weary tightrope walker, precariously swaying above a silent, perceptive audience of one, faltering in this foolâs errand that was the maintenance of this delicate self-imposed balance, tired legs wobbling, begging you to put an end to this self-inflicted turmoil, to give in to gravity and to allow yourself to fall.
Through this damn mirror, you locked eyes with Nanami, finding them heavy with intent.
And suddenly, it wasnât so dark anymore.
âYou want something,â he said softly, not a question but a declaration.
Was it the spark you saw in Kentoâs eyes in the moment as heâd cornered you towards the edge of the invisible cliff?
Was it that some of the pent-up tension youâd just released had taken some of your inhibitions along with it, replaced with a hazy, slightly more relaxed perception?
Or was it simply easier to peel away from the safety of timidity into the fire of candor when it was through the artificial buffer of a mirror?
Whatever it was, it had certainly emboldened you.
Here goes everything.
âMirror never lies, right, Kento?â Youâd had no intention of reprising his words when they tumbled out of your mouth in a soft whisper. âSo why donât you tell me what it was that stopped you from finishing what you started, back then at the beach?â you heard yourself say in a tone you barely recognized, tremulous with a blatant, reciprocal lust. âFrom finally putting me into a real headlock andââ
You cut yourself off just as you witnessed a darkening spark cross Nanamiâs eyes, brief but perceptible enough to make your stomach flip. He closed on the remaining space that turned his hold into something closer to the one youâve been seeking for so long, with the crook of his elbow nuzzling into the base of your throat, just off center, the sensation causing you to squeeze your thighs together, and your heart to pound through your chest.
âAnd⌠What else?â he whispered, matching your low volume, warm breath brushing your nape. âComplete that thought for me.â
You shook your head, a motion that was not so much to express your negation as it was to dispel the trance threatening to take over your mind. When you opened your mouth again, an uncontrolled, nervous scoff preceded your words.
âJust answer the question, Nanami.â
You reached your arms behind to hold him on either side of his legs, a blind attempt at maintaining some form of tactile control, realizing only now, how fully clothed he was, versus how you decidedly were not, as you ran your hands over the soft fabric of his trousers; it was a striking manifestation of your positions in this balance of power, in this repartee. You felt his next deep chuckle more than you heard it, but this time you could sense an undercurrent of agitation, of your manâs willpower slipping, palpable, like static before a storm.
And so, you added, âOr will you back out of this too?â
Nanami pushed slightly into you, and you brought your hands back on either side of the mirror, steadying yourself once more.
âI see,â he started. âSo you donât think I can wait you out?â he said, rocking into you in slow movements, the sensation of his rigid length all but contradicting his statement. âYou know, I was just thinking about how lucky I got with todayâs assignments. Two short missions, a couple of hours each, an in-and-out, really.â He paused to gently move a loose strand of hair that had fallen over your eyes aside. âMy day was a cakewalk. But yours? Early morning class, back-to-back training sessions⌠Iâd imagine youâre tired, that you just want to lie down, therefore Iâll just wait, until you inevitablyââ
He cut himself off with a hiss that extended into the lowest of groans.
You felt it before you realized that youâd decidedly let the intrusive thought win; the sinking of your teeth, more nibble than bite, into that soft compressed roll of flesh, by the elbowâs bend, just on the inside of Nanamiâs arm.
It was what set him into eager motion, and everything moved so quickly after that. You spotted the decisive moment in his eyes, carrying their first visible sign of reciprocal lust.
Nanami released his grip for the first time since youâd entered the apartment, a major concession to his overpowering stance, and you nearly fell forward at the sudden shift. You watched him disappear behind you, into the obscurity of the room, as he seemingly leaned down into something of a lunge. You heard the sound of a heavy drag against the floor, followed by that of objects softly tumbling onto the ground.
âWhat are youââ you started.
Before you knew it, Nanami caught you by the waist once more, and gently but firmly pulled you aside as he made way for what he was sliding towards the mirror, settling it between the wall and your feet. It took you a moment to discern the distinctive shape of the entryway bench that had long graced the entrance of your home, a small navy blue couch, upholstered in supple leather, stylish in appearance, dual in itâs practicality, of serving as a spot to sit while putting on the shoes that it now clearly no longer held.
You lifted your gaze towards the mirror, and found something eagerly desirous having replaced the playful front Nanami had managed to hold thus far; if you were silently telegraphing your keenness, he was responding in kind, his eyes not leaving yours as he gently nudged you forward, your feet lifting to hang over the edge of the small couch as you kneeled onto it.
He held your gaze still, and instead of perceiving his movements, you were left to rely on the sound of a sharp metallic clink resounding loudly in the silence, followed closely by the distinctive whispery rasp of his leather belt gliding against a thick fabric and punctuated with a brisk zipper sound. When he settled behind you, returning to the proximity youâd gotten accustomed to, Kento was armed with a familiar, damp hardness that you felt on the small of your back.
For as uncharted as the territory of this angle was, you both moved wordlessly, as if this was a well-practiced dance. You lowered yourself to bring your palms flat onto the bench, your hands sliding across the smooth leather. You aligned your back, lifting your hips up and spreading your knees apart, just enough to feel an aching breeze on your core.
Nanami climbed in earnest behind you, teasing his tip right against where his fingers had worked you a mere few minutes earlier, a slow, torturous, repeated motion he relished in for some long, excruciating seconds. You whimpered in lament, struggling to deploy the words of defense and mercy dancing on the edge of your tongue. Only when you began to squirm did he place his left palm on your back, holding you in place as he began to steadily press into you, inch by inch, until he filled you, deliciously so. Short, breathy moans escaped your lips with each press, and they were met with a low, restrained hum emanating from your lover, as you adjusted to the thick, welcomed intrusion, and he waited for you as you did.
After a moment, you were practically vibrating with an unabashed need for friction, something he caught on to. He pulled you at the hips, bringing your back flush onto his chest, keeping you both on your knees. You could now admit that you both loved and hated this mirror, for the newfound angle it gave you as you watched Kentoâs right hand slide up from your hips, slowly, torturously caressing you along the way, kneading the fleshy skin that sat on the side of your breast, up until his arm found its gratifying destination.
This time around, there was no half-measure when Nanami hooked his arm just below your throat, constricting you with the right amount of pressure that allowed you ample ability to breathe, but that would deny any movement beyond that, something you realized as your back arched instinctively both at the anticipation and at the actual hold. Despite having barely moved since he entered you, you could feel your pleasure mounting exponentially.
Your eyes met once more, and you realized that heâd been keenly observing you, studying your face as you went through all these motions. While his gaze was electrifying, you saw hints of the Kento you knew surfacing, burning with lust and love, always prioritizing your pleasure, your well-being. And there it was, conveyed through the simplicity of a glance, the truth that wasnât a safer place on earth to be.
You watched the corners of his mouth twist up into a soft smile, a crinkle in his eyes which spoke equal parts of mischief and affection, forming quite the juxtaposition with the successive prompts he threw at your reflection.
âYou enjoy this, donât you. Whenever I wrap my arms around you? When I hold you like this, while Iâm inside you?â
There was a newfound roughness in Nanamiâs voice as he emphasized the last word with a tightening of his right arm around you, along with a deep press of his left hand fingers into your hips. You moaned and bucked your hips at the combined sensations, at the implication, the truth, the underlying desire of words said in such an even tone. You were intent on pushing him to give you what you needed, but he held firm, granting you only half of what you craved with this hold, completely denying you the motion portion of this equation youâd grown so desperate to solve.
âTell me, honestly,â he emphasized employing the word that had become the refrain of the evening, âLet me hear you, my love.â It was quite discernible now, even in this compromising position that had you at his mercy; the thick lust in his voice, reminding you that the effect he was having on you was not so one-sided, and that he needed to hear you, just as much as he wanted to.
âYesâŚYes, I do,â you breathed, words slipping out as a ragged exhale, and you felt a sting of tears at the sudden intensity of a confession youâve carried too long, one you somehow could only bring yourself to make in this current moment.
âYes, you do,â Nanami repeated, his voice reduced to a low hum, but you could hear his approving smile even as he tried to conceal it, his eyes fixing you as though to speak to the deepest parts of your soul. âThatâs my girl.â
You keened at his praise, your legs reflexively twitching with a forceful movement that sent the weight of your body shifting precariously off to the side. You let out a gasp, expecting to tip over before Nanami strengthened his hold and repositioned you back firmly onto him, pinning you down by keeping one arm around your chest, and the other encircling your waist. The new angle pushed him deeper still into you, eliciting a whimper from you and a whisper from him, words traveling directly into your ear.
âLetâs not fall now,â he said, in a tone that was already softer, palpably affectionate, ânot yet.â
Always there to catch you.
It ruined you beautifully, in the moment, the fact that Nanami had not only mastered the art it was to rile you up, but heâd also long since known about this particular little inclination youâve carried since forever, that heâd sat on this power, his teasing dispensed as an excruciatingly slow, intensifying burn over the last few months.
None of it mattered now, because he began to move and despite the unmistakable eagerness dripping from both of you, Nanami took his time in taking you from stillness to stride, setting off in a carefully slow but powerful pace as he drove himself into you.
And fuck, did it feel so good.
He rocked his hips into you as you rutted back against him, as much as your limited range of motion allowed you, at this foreign angle that did not take away from the familiarity of this dance.Â
You squirmed as he drove into you with incredible precision, gradually picking up the tempo with each stroke, his measured gaze never leaving you, and even in the throes of escalating rapture, you discerned a strain in his expression, carrying an undercurrent of something carnal. You were panting, trying to catch your breath as he moved you against his hips effortlessly, making you feel each thick inch as his arm applied a deliciously punctual pressure against your upper chest with every thrust.
It felt both rough and tender. The visual was doing so much for you, too much, but still you fought the urge to shut your eyes for the umpteenth time to ground yourself, and Nanami caught this, attentive as ever.
âStay with me,â he said, as he squeezed you ever so slightly to get your attention, your muscles immediately clenched around him in response, and he groaned at your reflexive reaction, renewing his intention of keeping up the pressure and on keeping you contained until heâd achieved his singular objective.
Your eyes desperately searched for a focal point, landing on themselves in the mirrorâs reflection. You barely recognized the woman it presented, hair wildly disheveled, makeup sensually smeared just like as you barely distinguished your voice, with the wanton moans and the vocalized feedback aimed at the man in the reflection, as you told him how good he was making you feel, as you asked him to go harder, and as you let him know that heâd found it right there, the perfect spot, just like he always did. Youâd grown more vocal, loud enough to be heard over the increasingly rhythmic slapping sound of your skin against his, and to match the volume of the words Kento was in turn, directing at you, words that only belonged to you and that bound you to him in ways that transcended what your bodies could ever achieve.
You felt yourself unraveling, your pleasure mounting as you visually took in the intimate spectacle unfolding in front of your eyes. Nanami was attuned to you like a piano string was to its tuning fork. Heâd learned to find the things that made you tick and where you needed him the most. Heâd practiced how to calibrate himself to the right rhythm, to the perfect angles, using your expressive reactions as his North Star. And in the same way heâd learned all this, he could always tell when you were close to climax, just as you were now.
âLet go for me, my love,â he whispered to your reflection, his voice rough with need.
The thunderstorm of pleasure had long been on the horizon, but that first cold ripping sensation of lightning always caught you by surprise. Your body pulled taut with gratification, and you came, quicker and louder than the first time, convulsing at the rapturous intensity of your orgasm, your pleasure hitting you in waves, trapped, constricted, with nowhere to go but in on itself. You tried to cling to your vague awareness of Nanamiâs gentle coaxing, to his encouraging words as he nibbled at the shell of your ear and saw you to completion, his thrusts slightly relenting in tempo but not in intensity.
When you came to, it was to witness your slumped body leaning against your husband, breath still evening, and you could not help the smile gracing your lips, and the joyous delirium it manifested. His grip had loosened by now, and he was stilled, but still inside you, his chin resting on your shoulder as he watched you.
Nanamiâs wonderful arms lowered to hold you at the hips again, and you gripped them, leaning on them as you tilted your face backwards and to the side, and you caught his lips in a searing kiss, one that was slower, lazier but also so dizzying, the only reminder of your predicament was the instinctual roll of your hips and the clenching that came along with it as the kiss deepened.
After what felt like long, radiant minutes, he brought you both down onto the small couch and gently broke the kiss to turn you over at the hips, lowering you onto your back in a single, swift movement. You felt his weight carefully sit atop you as he straddled you at the waist.
You peered up at Kento, at your beautiful man, a thin sliver of light slipping through a narrow gap in the window curtain ethereally bisecting his face in a golden diagonal path that illuminated his left eye, over the bridge of his nose, and gliding down the hollow of his right cheek. He was still clothed, except for his unzipped pants; still relatively composed, barring his rumpled shirt, his tousled hair, and the lipstick marks smudged on and around his lips and down the side of his jaw.
You could detect it, as clear as day, that something had switched within him. Gone was the playful, mischievous man who wanted to prove a point, who sought to get the last word, who endeavored to wring an admission out of you in the name of the little teasing game youâd both slipped into. Replacing him was a more heartfelt iteration of himself, the one you knew to be less relentless but no less restrained in his passion, and who would aim to both come and watch you come, face to face, where he could read you, like his favorite book.
Nanami sat back on his knees, looping his finger into the knot of his tie, loosening it just enough, in the way he knew you loved to watch him do. He took your hands into his and brought them to the dangling silk fabric, finally letting you complete this task, finally indulging you in yet another small fixation.
Kento looked down at you, running a finger along your deep-toned cheek, and for the first time in this encounter, he grounded himself in the moment. There had been a time, in a not-so-distant past, when he would feel almost guilty on occasions like this, whenever heâd found himself yielding to the warm, effervescent energy that surged from his chest.
For so long, choosing happiness while being ensconced in this particular field of work felt nothing short of selfish, foolish, and delusional. But somewhere along the lines, Nanami had become an inadvertent student of yours, and what heâd learned was that there was a deeply repressed side of him, silently yearning for a sliver of the joy heâd worked so hard convincing himself he didnât need.
Teacher to many, even to him in some ways; youâd been the one whoâd forced him to confront the fact that the line delineating blind selflessness from being a coping mechanism was as thin as it was blurry. There was a certain pattern of behaviors, one that saw Nanami conceal survival in virtue, that youâd called him out on quite a few occasions.Â
A late-night phone call in your early days together that had you both up way past your usual bedtimes.Â
A lunch date while picking up the emotional pieces after a tough mission.Â
An argument the two of you had, after youâd called him out just as he was about to slip into what he could now retrospectively admit to be this self-preserving cocoon of self-sacrifice, call-outs he knew deep down to be true, to be well-intentioned in their objective of saving him from himself, and for which, after some self-reflection, he loved their messenger all the more.
But sometimes, Nanamiâs appetite for what had long eluded him surfaced in a simpler form, like the one of a man and his lover, happy to be reunited after several days of work getting in the damn way.
And now, Nanami chose happiness.Â
Now, heâd allow himself to have this one thing.
âHey, handsomeâŚâ you started, pulling him back to the present as you brought a finger up to his cheek and lightly poked at it, âYou good?â
The corners of his lips twisted into a tired smile, and his response first came as a gentle, reverent kiss on your forehead. Then your temple. The outer corner of your eye. The top of your cheek. He spoke in between each of these, over a weekâs worth of tension, of stress and frustration defused into sincere words.
âSo many⌠fucking... assignments... I⌠Iâm sorry,â he said solemnly, and the vulnerability in his tone was audibly palpable to you. His words suddenly reminded you of the way this had all started, about the yearning and eagerness you had for one another after a dreadful few days of going without.
âI know... Not your fault,â you said quietly.
âIâm here now⌠Not leavingâŚâ he continued, as his lips moved down to your jaw, to the pulse on your neck.
âYouâre here, Kento,â you whispered, words that you hoped could reassure him as much as they did you.
Nanami rose slightly onto his knees, positioning himself between your legs. You felt him pause briefly, right at the edge of entering you once more. With a shuddering sigh, he slipped back into you with silky swiftness. You moaned at this first thrust, as he pushed firmly into you, holding himself in the deepest part of your core for a moment before moving again. This time, Nanami was less verbal, more focused; you were less pent up, more present, more sensitive to the way he poured his feelings into you, pure passion conveyed through his movements.
You knew of this demeanor well, of this determination set in his eyes; the express intention of keeping himself just on the edge, of delaying, of denying himself the solace of release until he could wring one more orgasm out of you, and directly watch you fall apart for him.
Always so considerate. Always so stubborn. Could he not give in for just this once?
âSo good, Kento,â you managed to get out, shifting the rest of your energy towards a mission of your own, of coaxing him to finally let go and to finally finish inside you. You writhed up to meet him halfway, desperate to have him bury into you, clamping down around him every time he pulled out of you, feeling your determination and pleasure mounting in tandem.
Your eyes met and Nanami must have detected your intentions because he shut his closed, eyebrows knitting in concentration as he sat back onto his knees and pulled you by the hips, maneuvering you closer to him with one hand and reaching to palm your breast with the other, doubling down on his own objective of bringing you to your release.
You waited until he moved to switch his attention to your other breast before you grabbed his hand, brushing it up against your throat, and you felt Kentoâs fingers hover over its column just as your mind did over the idea of settling them there; an intrusive thought you would have allowed yourself to verbalize, had you not embarked on a different mission of your own. Instead, you enlaced your fingers with Kentoâs and pulled his arm, brushing it against your lips, nibbling over his wrist, over his forearm, eyes still on him as you watched him barely withhold a hiss at the contact, visibly hanging on to his composure by a thread.
And for the second time that evening, you closed a soft bite over his arm.
Kentoâs eyes snapped open and locked onto yours with a searing intensity that made your breath catch, and you found, etched into the depths of his gaze, a silent yet familiar narrative of unraveling, one you could cite chapter and verse.
You watched as his initial shock bled into amusement, a reaction attesting not to a fluke but to an affinity, a path newly discovered, a new door unlocked. You felt yourself teetering dangerously on the edge of your own release, thighs quivering as your mind registered Nanamiâs peculiar reaction to his arm under your teeth.
âThatâs not fair. You canât do this,â he said with a breathy chuckle.
âThen stop me,â you whispered back, your tone laced with provocation as your lips nibbled over his arm, your teeth just barely grazing him.
Nanami was still watching you, still resolved to maintain his composure, but you could feel it in the way his pace picked up, his thrusts now slightly more erratic, slightly less precise. You knew he was close, as sure as you knew what it would take to tip him over.
You bit down again, a bit more forcefully this time, and he let out a guttural groan in response, as he watched you through half-lidded eyes, desperately using what remained of his will to keep his eyes on yours, as he always did.
âPlease, please fill me, Kento,â you moaned, your play at speaking to his depths, your final attempt at coaxing him to come with you, wiggling your hips as they came up against his, throwing everything at the wall, anything to take him with you as you spasmed with the eagerness of your pleasure and barrelled towards your release.
âFuck,â Nanami cursed with a hiss, as he yanked his arm away from you and pinned both your hands on either side of your head, his fingers interlacing yours as he leaned his head down to your level, shifting all of his weight to his hips, sinking deeper into you. The dam was finally breaking, his rhythm faltering recklessly, his hips a stuttering pace, finding a tempo that smoothed into the pure, mutual longing youâve had to keep at bay for over a week. You felt the bench slide and shift under his forceful thrusts.Â
And when Nanami choked your name against your lips, it was with a reverence that eclipsed any other form of praise he could muster.
You vaguely heard yourself begging him greedily, praising him deliriously, thanking him sincerely until you cut yourself off with your own long, unabashed moan just as you tipped over the edge. You wrapped your legs around Kentoâs waist, bringing the balls of your feet to the small of his back and arching deeply into him, clenching onto him as you quaked through another rippling climax.
And now, you felt it. Now, the paragon of self-control that Nanami Kento was would finally yield to the limits of his restraint.
Nanami held you down in place in a firm hold, and huffed out a short scoff followed by a low grunt. He gave a brisk, fluid double thrust before he spent himself into you, his release coming as hard and long as the groan that ripped through his lips as he pressed and held his hips to yours. A shiver of pleasure shook you, your hips bucking into his instinctively as you felt each pulsing tremor of his release sputtering deep inside you. You opened your eyes to catch a quick glimpse of his face inches from yours, his eyes glazed over, his smile soft, satisfied, spent. You felt a blooming sensation in your heart as you witnessed Kento arrive at the destination he so deserved. This right here, you thought, was your antidote to everything.
It always was a deliciously nebulous feeling, and this time was no exception; youâd tried it countless times before, to temporally orient yourself within the first minutes that followed Kento taking you to orbit and back like this, always finding yourself unable to know how long youâd stayed in place like you did now, with his full weight on your body, still deep inside you. How long did it take for your fingertips to make the full journey spanning the small of his back to the nape of his neck, stroking feather-light touches that glided slick with sweat, until they found his undercut, right where his hair clipped close and where his scalp was the warmest to touch? You both lay there for a moment, as your breaths slowed, basking in the aftermath of a most sincere act of love.
Lost in a hazy fog, youâd nearly forgotten where you were until the metallic clang of your ring hitting the bench leg as your hand hung off to the side jolted you back to reality. You absentmindedly ran your hands along the leathery texture, only for the time it would take for your thoughts to flit back to a blurry memory that clung to the edges of your mind.
Several months prior, one of your nightly strolls together finds you and Kento in a boutique furniture store. Youâre seated on the plush leather entryway bench that caught your eye as soon as you entered the shop.
âLook. This thing is comfortable as they come, doubles as a shoe rack, good quality, and itâs on sale? Iâd say itâs a solid buy,â you say.
Nanami hums softly, in contemplation. âThis isnât just you wanting it for yourself, is it?â
âThis is for your apartment, Nanami.â
âIt is, but with the amount of time youâve been spending thereâŚâ
âOh, so Iâm overstaying my welcome now? Is that what Iâm hearing?â
âDonât do this. You already know youâd be over more often if youâd let me have it my way.â
âWell, any more and I would be living there.â
âPerhaps you should be,â he says, his tone devoid of jest.
You pause at the implication of his words. âIs this your not-so-subtle way of soft launching cohabitation, Kento?â
âAnd if it is?â
You turn on your half of the small couch, rotating your body towards him, and you find him fixing you, serious as ever. You narrow your eyes at him. âReally? Despite what has to happen first?â
âSpecifically because of what has to happen first.â
Itâs a commitment he makes so easily, as if it is the most natural thing to say, in the middle of a random furniture shop after an impromptu leisurely weeknight walk and some froyo.
You brought your hand back up in the air, your contemplation bringing you to fix your wedding ring on your finger, as you lay your back on this small cushioned bench, which you now recognize to be quite the symbolizer of a new beginning, even tonight, in a twisted, unusual way.
âAre you alright, darling?â Nanamiâs voice reached the foreground in your distant haziness.
Silly, idle thoughts converted into your response before you could stop them.
âWe just made another use for itâŚâ
âHmm?â he mumbled against your ear, where his lips still rested. âAnother use for what?â
âThis little bench of ours. Doubles as a shoe rack, triples asâŚâ You trailed off, letting the suggestive connotation hang in the air.
âA good investment,â he concluded after a short moment with a light, almost timid chuckle, as if he hadnât yanked the piece of furniture himself, just minutes ago, as if he hadnât just boldly taken you on it.
You mirrored his amusement as you reveled in your amazement at the diametrically opposed dualities of this man. Because now it was the more tempered version of your Kento resurfacing, the one who left a gentle trail of kisses that were as wet and hot as the fluid spilling off the sides of your thighs as he slowly slipped out of you, and shifted off of you. Nanami brought his lips to yours in a play to swallow the inevitable whimper he knew youâd emit, your usual protest at this kind of friction and its resulting loss of contact.
âStay hereâŚâ he instructed softly, as he peeled himself off the bench.
And this is how you found yourself lying on your back, staring at the suddenly mesmerizing portion of the vestibule ceiling youâd never had the opportunity to pay particular attention to. Your eyes were here, tracing its unfamiliar pattern, but mentally you were tracing another line, the one which took you from that fateful first encounter at the infirmary, what feels like forever ago now, to the present moment that had you catching your breath and chuckling to yourself in both disbelief and contentment.
In retrospect, this fixation with his arms was so silly. In the grand scheme of things, it was so small. It always was the small things with Nanami. Like the way he tends to keep his footsteps light, like he was doing now, as he crossed the distance to the master bathroom, and flicked the lights on along the way. Or the gentleness of his movements as he reemerged in your field of view for the time it took to help you sit up and handed you a glass of water before disappearing as he crouched down beside you, bringing a warm damp cloth to clean you up, soothingly stroking his fingers along your shoulder as he did so.
You finally turned to meet his gaze, your mind still in a haze, and you watched as he moved swiftly, wordlessly sliding his two arms underneath you to lift you up, carrying you bridal style.
Itâs the small things, but also everything else.
Because it wasnât a small thing, that all of the dangers in the world lay outside this door, outside this room, the fact that right now, wrapped in these wonderful arms of his, is where you felt the safest.
It was no small thing that all of your worries, all of your troubles, all of your insecurities, could be cast aside in his presence, granting you a kind of freedom that was so difficult to hold on to while around others, the one to unapologetically be yourself.
Itâs not a small thing, that even now, as you let your hand travel up the firm planes of Nanamiâs pecs, up to his defined collarbone, over the beautiful curve of his shoulder and down his sculpted bicep, that not even this warmth and strength came close to accurately representing the full sense of safety you felt with him.
It was a safety that went far beyond the physical; for as cautious as youâd always been around shedding your inhibitions, for as nervous you were about opening yet another layer of yourself, to confidently accept yourself and to allow yourself to be accepted, there wasnât a single person on this planet that you could trust more.
It made you wonder if you would ever be equipped to justly convey such a precious feeling.
You pressed your cheek against Kentoâs chest, listening to his breathing and his heartbeat as he maneuvered across the apartment towards the master bathroom.
âYou enjoyed that a little too much,â you said, finally breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you.
âWhat part? Youâll have to be more specific,â he playfully replied as he glanced down at you.
âYou love tormenting me.â
âTormenting you? Need I remind you that it was, in fact, you who started this?â
âNo, you started it, with that kiss at the school. Never had you do that before.â
âOh, am I not allowed to miss my wife?â
âAh, so you did miss me. Finally, heâs honest.â
Nanami gently eased you down on the bathroom floor, right next to the bathtub, which was still filling up, and just in front of the mirror, through which your eyes met.
âItâs not my fault we seem to need a mirror to be candid with one another,â he said with a smirk.
He wrapped his arms around you once more, hugging you from behind. They were relatively small, but in the bright overhead ceiling light, they were prominent; you brought your fingers up them, to the small bite marks on his forearm.
âTread lightly, Kento,â you started in a reciprocal tone, âThis is a two-player game now.â
Nanami knew this well, and for this, too, he would be grateful.
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The year is 2075âI'm 80+, and still writing Nanami Kento fanfics đ. 50 years prior, I wrote these about our favorite Jujutsu sorcerer. đŠľ
Nanami Kento x f!reader Fanfics
Reverse Psychology | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x fem!Reader
Summary: "Itâs just way too tight, Kento. I really donât think youâll fit.â
You deliberately punctuate your statement with a lilt of your voice, one that implies far more than your words convey, a shift that does not go unnoticed by Nanami. Itâs what finally earns you the view youâre fishing for.
Content tags: Suggestive fluff, mature themes.
WC: 3.4k
Endurance Theory | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: In which Nanami Kento takes a not-so-subtle interest in the many effects of your new workout routine, and you endeavor to feed his curiosity.
Content tags: Fluff and Smut
WC: 15.9k
Shared Burdens | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: post-Shibuya!Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: In which you and Nanami find some much-needed solace in apple picking, and seek to lighten each otherâs burdens.
Content tags: fluff, post-Shibuya AU.
WC: 1.9k
Sinewy Symphony | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: Five times you manage to stave off the urge to act upon your fascination with Nanami Kento's most alluring physical feature, and the one time you don't.
Content tags: Fluff and Smut
WC: 21.5k
Flattery Fluster | Read on Tumblr
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: In which you compliment Nanami for the first time.
Content tags: early relationship fluff
WC: 614
Bento Box Banter | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: One early Sunday morning, Nanami embarks on an investigative mission seeking the answer to one question, only to be left with another.
Content tags: Fluff and humor, sequel to Bento Box Blunder, but can also be read independently! Written for Nanami Week 2025.
WC: 4.7k
Temperature Check | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: Ten months into matrimony, a domestic dilemma doubles as a temperature check between you and Kento.
Content tags: Fluff and humor, suggestive themes
WC: 5.9k
Going the Distance | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: One Sunday evening, as a weak network threatens the connection you're both craving, the impacts of the long-distance situation you currently have with Nanami take a spicy turn.
Content tags: Suggestive fluff, mature themes.
WC: 2.6k
Loudly Lowkey | Read on Tumblr
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: If to be loved is to be seen, then Nanami loves you very dearly.
Content tags: early relationship fluff
WC: 930
an exercise in expression | Read on Tumblr
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: What does it feel like to be loved by Nanami?
Content tags: contemplative fluff
WC: 665
Distant Blues | Read on Tumblr
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: In which Nanami cherishes your presence and misses you in advance.
Content tags: contemplative fluff
WC: 1k
Sugarcoated Secrets | Read on Tumblr
Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!reader
Summary: Nanami is acting awfully suspicious. You endeavor to get to the bottom of this.
Content tags: Fluffy humor, a gift fic for my friend Lu!
WC: 4.2k
Tethered | Read on Tumblr or AO3
Characters: Nanami Kento centric (x non-sorcerer!reader)
Summary: It starts on his sixteenth birthdayâin the years that follow, Nanami slowly grows to accept the recurring appearances of a particular spirit as being synonymous with marking some of his trips around the sun, bringing some sharp thorns from his past to persistently prick into his present.
Content tags: Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence (post-Shibuya), Written for Nanami Week 2025.
WC: 10k
Silver Linings | Read on Tumblr
Characters: Nanami Kento, Ino Takuma (Gen fic)
Summary: Ino makes a surprising discovery and immediately knows who to call.
Content tags: Fluff, Nanami & Ino's friendship and cute mentor-mentee dynamic.
WC: 1k
You can also find last year's Nanami writing compilation below:
đŹ 2  đ 7  â¤ď¸ 118 ¡ Nanami Kento Masterlist - 2024 ¡ Every piece I wrote this year pertaining to our beloved 7:3 sorcerer.
Nanami x f!reader
âThat shirt looks good on you, Nanami,â you say, breaking the comfortable silence that has settled between you.
It is a quiet early September afternoon that finds you seated across from him in the Jujutsu Tech break room.
Instead of enjoying your lunch hour outside and making the most of the fading summer like most others are doing, you find yourself stuck in here, knee-deep in creating some student plans for the imminent start of the second semester.
The only thing that's brought Nanami here on his off-day is a last-minute meeting he has with Yaga and Gakuganji regarding the next round of recommended promotions.
At least, thatâs what heâs told you.
In reality, you find that heâs shown up rather early for a meeting that isnât happening for another hour, and while youâve only known the man since the beginning of the school year, you know exactly how implausible his cited excuse of having mixed up his schedule likely is.
What is plausible is that heâs also here to keep you company.
Itâs the train of thought thatâs led you to inconspicuously glance up from your clipboard to take him in. Heâs engrossed in the book that heâs holding on the table, forearms flush against the laminate surface of the table, eyes moving along the lines of his captivating novel.
The open window makes way for a much-welcomed light breeze after yet another abnormally scorching hot summer, along with the midday sun, which bathes your seating area with sunlight, most of which settles on your unsuspecting colleague.
As usual, he looks greatâhandsome and put together, but perhaps even more so today, after having traded his usual tan suit ensemble for a more casual outfit comprising a burgundy polo and black trousers.
Nanami canât see the way the light catches the lines of his face, the way it sharpens his sharp jawline, and the edge of his nose. He canât take in the way the deep red of his quarter-zip seems to glow under the sunlight, giving him a particularly composed and effortlessly attractive aura.
And so, without much thought, you've decided to voice your observations.
He seems to take a moment to consider your compliment before his face flickers from your face to his shirt, then back to you.
âMy shirt?â he finally asks.
âYeah! I know itâs not your usual color, but it really suits you. You should wear it more often.â
Nanami nods slowly, seemingly lost in thought.
âThank you,â he says with a shy, tentative smile that is even more reserved than his usual.
âYouâre welcome,â you softly reply, your voice laced with amusement as you observe his bashful reaction.
He returns his attention to his book, and you return yours to your course planning, but only for the brief moment it takes for your attention to be drawn back to what is now a visibly blushing Nanami Kento, hopelessly trying to play off his fluster.
You watch as a flush creeps up his neck, deepening the redness of his face, before adding, âOh hey, your complexion even matches your shirtânow thatâs genius.â
His brows furrow for a moment before rising in surprise. Next, his eyes snap up at you, a hazel brown gaze seemingly searching yours for any sign that would neutralize what he thinks he's just heard you say, finding only a knowing mischief complemented by the subtle, gratified curve of your lips.
You smile at the scene unfolding before you and at the pleasing notion that it only took a simple compliment to disarm the usually unflappable sorcerer.
Itâs a notion that has you both tickled and curious, and that ignites your desire to explore it furtherâŚ
A/N: a short late-night writing exercise about my fav 𩵠| Masterlist
Title: Meridian
Pairing: Fushiguro Toji x handler fem!reader
Summary: It is during the quiet lull that fills the gaps between jobs and in the absence of distractions to evade facing the jagged pieces you've each been desperately trying to hold together that a series of subtle intimacies form the unspoken bond that emerges between you and Toji, poised to indelibly blur the line delineating professional from personal.
Content warnings: mature themes (mdni), canon-typical violence, language.
Content tags: canon-divergence AU, slow burn romance, hurt/comfort.
WC: 20.9k
A/N: This is my (tardy) entry for the subtle intimacies collab hosted by @seiwas! Happy one (and now two!) year anniversary, sel! Thank you so much for allowing me to partake in your lovely event!
Also on AO3
Although Toji isnât physically at your side by the time you stir awake, his presence very much remains.Â
It lies on the rumpled, soft cotton bedsheets that still bear the deep imprint of his bodyâs form.
Itâs carried in the clean scent that lingers in your bedroomâvanilla sweetness from your lotion intertwining with the robust woody notes of his aftershaveâone that youâve come to associate uniquely with him.Â
It floats as a placid weight in the morning air, palpable, like the lingering warm shower steam that still mists the bathroom mirror with a soft haze.
It had taken very little to convince Toji, a few weeks ago, to stay overnight for the first time, after youâd spent the evening lazily cuddled on your living room couch, chatting awayâyouâd lamented the late hour before reminding him that Megumi was away on a school field trip and those were more than enough reasons to keep him from returning to his empty home.Â
The spare toothbrush youâd handed him on that night now sits next to yours, and although its bright red handle sets a vibrant visual clash against the muted brown finish of your own brush and holder, something about the way they are stored together like this makes them fit just right.
An amalgamation of emotions swirls through your mind, a common occurrence during quiet, reflective showers on the mornings after Toji spends the night.Â
Youâre still discovering things about him, still reconciling certain parts of the fierce assassin youâve worked with for the better part of a decade with the softer man beneath the surface, the one that youâve grown intimately close with.Â
Some of his penchants donât surprise you. Heâs always exhibited some foodie tendencies, always tried to get into some form of eatery after carrying out a job, regardless of its severity.
Others emerge as subtleties that gradually reveal themselves, like his tendency to wake up extra early, and his deep inability to sleep in past a certain time, no matter how late a night heâs had, an echo from a time that precedes when heâd abandoned his former name.Â
And then, there are your shared routinesâunspoken, newly established, borne out of a trust that doesnât require a promise.
And so, when you set a kettle to boil after your invigorating shower, it is two cups that you retrieve from the cabinet.Â
You carefully select and pluck some fresh mint leaves from the bundle you picked up from the market the day before, their peppery, sweet scent filling the air as you place them into the first cup. A sachet of cinnamon tea is what you place in the other, and itâs the one you slowly bring to your lips a few short minutes later, just as you hear the anticipated knocks reverberate through your door.
Ten years prior
Four evenly spaced raps echoed loudly at your door, jolting you out of your reverie.Â
With the consequences of a nearly sleepless night still weighing heavily on your eyelids, you vigorously shook your head to bring yourself back to your usual state of alertness.
You were on day three of an insomniac episode that felt somewhat more acute than the ones that usually usurped your mind on the eve of a new assignment. The resulting fatigue was usually short-lived, easily masked by the jittery buzz of energy drinks and strong coffee youâd consume in quantities that pushed past any reasonable daily allowance.Â
But with a particularly odd, anxious stirring tugging at your senses, today felt somewhat different.
It was rare to have what youâd dubbed as the âtrinity of unknownsâ, wherein the client, the target, and the contractor were all divulged to you at the last possible moment, and all turned out to be people you had never engaged with.Â
It was the outcome of accepting to cover a job for an old friend whoâd cited an emergency back homeâin a convincing display of impeccable persuasion that had come to typify him, Shiu Kong had pitched the job along with its alluring reward in a way he knew you would not refuse.Â
But as someone who thrived within strict, well-defined boundaries, what had felt like a no-brainer at the time now spelled multidimensional threats to your structured work style as a handler.
Four more knocks, each one louder than the last, resounded through the door once more.
Striding with an assurance you were still mustering, you approached the door and peered through the peephole, only to be met with the silent and looming form of a silhouette that was too large to fully perceive through the narrow, gloomy lens.
Intuition led your left hand to your waist, and you ensured that your handgun was holstered as you brought your right hand to the doorâs lock before opening it in one swift movement.Â
The first thing you noticed was just how built he wasâa tank of a man, one who could likely overtake you in an instant with his bulging muscles threatening to burst out of his tight black t-shirt. His piercing green eyes were nextâdark locks fell over them as they transitioned from neutral to surprised to apprehensive before trailing down to where your fingers still gripped your weapon. And when his gaze met yours again, you averted it only for the brief moment it took to take in the jagged scar that sliced over his lip and the way that it curled, drawing attention to each word he spoke.
âWhereâs Kong?â he asked, his voice coming out gruff, his tone even deeper than youâd imagined it to be.
âUnavailable,â you replied cautiously as you held the door wider and stepped aside in your wordless invitation for the towering man to come inside.Â
It didnât take too long to realize that he didnât seem to have any intention of budging.
âHeâs out of the country,â you added, âtending to a last-minute emergency.âÂ
At this, the manâs eyes immediately narrowed.Â
âI donât like surprises,â he said pointedly, his tone calm, barring the tinge of distrust it bore, effectively deploying a wall of tension in the dimly lit space between you.Â
âWell, neither do I,â you retorted as you held the door open with one foot, moving the hand that held it to your hip, âbut unfortunately for both of us, I am in fact the one running point on this.âÂ
You paused for his response, one you realized would not go beyond the light scoff that escaped his lips while he remained otherwise still, though expecting a more persuasive argument from you.Â
This is exactly what annoyed you with unknownsâitâs a good thing youâd anticipated something like this, a good thing that you had a backup plan.
âThat said,â you continued, âsince you seem to be unwilling to cover this, Iâll just find someone else. Iâll be damned if I lose out on my cut of ten and a half million yen.â
Youâd already turned around after letting go of the heavy door when he lodged his foot in the threshold, catching it right before it shut. Your heart skipped a beat as you pulled the door back once more, not expecting the full-on smirk you were met with, one accompanied by an eager twinkle lighting up his eyes.Â
âTen five, huh?â he mused. âHow is that a much higher figure than the one Kong gave me?â
âI renegotiated with the client. A careful review of the scope warranted some changes in the fee,â you stated, and now it was your turn to narrow your eyes at him. âLike I said, Iâm the one running this now. But if youâre not interested, thenââ
Your attempt to shut the door was met with gentle but firm resistance.Â
âMaybe we started on the wrong foot,â he said as he stepped one foot over the threshold, and you somehow intuitively found yourself shifting aside to let him in. âMaybe weâll pretend weâre not strangers, at least for this one job.â
The irony of his proposal did not occur to you until much laterâthe fact that heâd never formally introduced himself to you.Â
But then again, Zenâin Toji never truly needed to.
âJust about four more minutes now,â you said into your wired earpiece after a quick glance at your watch.
You were standing by a window in a hotel room whose panoramic views and lavish furnishings whispered of indulgences you couldnât imagine justifying for yourself. It was a cold, early January morning, the kind that had each of your exhales clouding the glass before you in a mildly irritating obstruction as you trained your binoculars on the intersection where your target was expected to appear, based on his routine.
âIâll let you know as soon as he rounds the corner,â you continued. âI canât stress it enough, Zenâin, no funny, flashy business. This needs to be clean and inconspicuousâthe client specifically requested covert protocols for this.â
âWell, they should have paid for that bit,â came Tojiâs retort, crackling with static through your earpiece.Â
Even from several stories above, you could practically hear his teeth gritting together, not unlike the way they did whenever he was upset about having lost a horse bet, and you were unable to refrain from rolling your eyes at the visual.
âThey literally paid for it,â you replied. âItâs part of the agreement we signed andââ
âThat you signed, maybe. I didnât sign a damn thing,â he cut in. âAnd to me, for the peanuts theyâre shelling out? This sounds more like an addendum to a contract. To me, it sounds like they should be charged extra if theyâre gonna dictate how Iâm going to do my job.â
You let out an exasperated sigh, one that came out as a puff of irritation, misting the glass once more as you tried your best to ignore him and to keep your focus on the intersection.Â
âTo me,â he paused for emphasis, âit sounds like you failed to negotiate on this one, Miss handler.â
While eighteen months into this work partnership with Toji had more or less accustomed you to his temper and to this kind of bickering that was characteristic of him, it still bordered on the unusual to witness him act out like this in the middle of a job. For someone youâd only known to bear a cool focus on the few rare occasions youâd been out on a job with him, Tojiâs insistence on instigation was not lost on you.Â
And yet somehow, you couldnât resist feeding into it.
âOh, so now youâre the one telling me how to do my job?â you questioned.
A brief, derisive scoff buzzed through your earpiece, but he said nothing. Just as you were beginning to enjoy the short silence that had settled between you, Toji spoke again.
âWhatâs the story with this client, anyway? This reeks of something familiar.â
âI told you alreadyâthey remained anonymous and went through a third-party intermediary.â
âYeah, I got that part, but what did you know about them?â
The last threads of focus youâd desperately tried to hold on to had now all but slipped out of your grasp. You shifted your binoculars down the couple of hundred meters that separated the street corner from the park bench where Toji was seated.Â
You took in his outfitâblack parka, gray scarf strategically wrapped tight to conceal his wire, and a matching winter hat that sat snug over his head, allowing only for a few midnight strands to dance in the icy wind that slightly reddened his cheeks. By all appearances, he looked like a typical park dweller enjoying a crisp morning.Â
Suddenly, as though he could sense you watching, Toji slightly lifted his head, his eyes traveling all the way up to the twelfth floor from which you were peering down at him, and held your gaze. You were thankful for the distance between you and for the fact that he couldnât perceive your slight jump as you met his impassive stare, thankful that he wouldnât notice the way your breath hitched slightly as he caught you off guard.
âIâve briefed you on everything I know,â you finally mumbled.
âNot everything,â he said matter-of-factly before he returned his attention to the street before him.Â
His sharp quip hit you like a splash of frigid water, the stinging implication of his words snapping you back to reality.Â
âAnd what the hell do you mean by that, Toji?â You watched as a satisfied smirk tugged at his lips, at your slip, at your usage of his first name, which had seen an increasingly frequent occurrence these days. âAre you insinuating that Iâm somehow hiding somethingââÂ
âNot what Iâm saying,â he cut in, his tone gentler this time around. âJust think it throughâŚâ
Now you recognized this for what it wasâone of the little impromptu challenges he loved to throw at you whenever he wanted to test a strategy or prove a point. This instance felt like the latter, and as much as he was getting under your skin, especially at a time that called for utmost concentration, you still found yourself, as you often did with Toji, compelled to bite.
You returned your gaze to the intersection, carefully scanning each figure lest you miss your target.
âWell, on paper, the target is listed as a mercenary curse user, but mainly heâs a two-bit crook. Many parties seem to have it out for him, largely people heâs double-crossed, and they range from local crime rings to members of the big sorcerer clans.â
Toji let out a low hum without elaborating beyond that. You inhaled deeply before resuming.
âThe client paid top dollar to go through a third-party and went to great lengths to insist this be done as covertly as possible and without any traces, which isnât particularly unusual or remarkable, but it also likely means that this isnât really about sending a message.â
Still no response from Toji. The silence stretched into a moment, and in the absence of any feedback, you repositioned your binoculars towards him. You were immediately drawn to a sharp glare that twinkled at regular intervals, and it took you a moment to identify it as the sunlight repeatedly catching one of his shiny silver jacket buttons. It took you just as long to realize the surprising cause of the flickeringâthe restless bouncing of Tojiâs leg.
A year and a half of close association, and youâd never seen him fidget like this.Â
Or at all.
And then, it clicked.
âJujutsu SocietyâŚâ you breathed out. âSomeone among the higher-ups wanting a problem to go away. Desperate enough to resort to employing the Sorcerer Killer. Perhaps even backed by one of the big three clans?â
âWho knows, really...â Tojiâs first reply in a while came in a rather indifferent tone, but his body language appeared anything but, with tension coiling down his arms and into his clenched fist as his indirect confirmation faded into the cold air.
Silence settled between you once more.Â
The button started twinkling repeatedly in the light again.Â
âThis is newâŚâ you whispered, your voice barely a breath as you inadvertently vocalized your partial thought.
As faint as your volume was, Tojiâs movements appeared to halt at the sound of your voice.Â
âWhat was that?â he inquired.
âSince when do you care about the specific motivations behind these jobs, anyway?âÂ
âOh, trust me, I donât give a ratâs assââ
âBut you do feel some kind of way, donât you?â you interjected, cornering him before he could evade the crux of the issue, as he often did whenever a conversation started hitting too close to home. âFulfilling a contract that could potentially benefit them?â you added, with emphasis on that last word.
He scoffed again, his mouth curling in contempt. âNah, Iâm just wondering just how aware you are of what youâre getting mixed up with.â
By now, youâd gotten accustomed to this dance, to the fact that despite your trusted alliance, he still remained so adamantly guarded about so many aspects of himself, particularly those that pertained to anything related to his ties to the Jujutsu world, and to the Zenâin.Â
By now, his prevarications did not escape you, even as he attempted to mask them under a half-hearted, insincere casting of aspersions on your capabilities.Â
âRight. Sure,â you replied. âIt totally has nothing to do withâŚâÂ
You trailed off as your attention was captured by the subtle tap of Tojiâs boot heel against the icy ground, to the way it had resumed just before you spoke, only to stop as soon as you did.
Uncanny, you thought.
In the newfound silence, he tapped his foot for a few seconds before speaking again.
âYour mic cut out or something?â he asked, almost expectantly.Â
Almost as if he wanted to hear you.
âYou know something, Zenâin? Youâre awfully chatty today,â you said in a lower, almost teasing tone. âIf you wanted to make conversation with me, there are many more direct ways to go about it.â
Toji halted his fidgeting.Â
This time, when he tilted his head up towards your window, it was slowly.Â
And this time, you didnât flinch.Â
Even through your binocularsâ enhanced zoom, it was something indecipherable that you detected in Tojiâs eyes, an elusive quality that ignited a longing to draw nearer and to perhaps get a better read on this proverbial book that very rarely opened up.
Just as he opened his mouth to voice what you could only imagine would be a biting retort, a movement caught the corner of your eye. You quickly jerked your binoculars towards the intersection as you watched the unsuspecting target youâd been anticipating for the better part of your morning already rounding the street corner.Â
âShit. Okay, there he is, headed your way,â you blurted.
You returned your gaze to where youâd last seen Toji, only to find the bench vacant. You quickly scanned the area, finding him already up, already on the move, stalking towards the alleyway he was set to guide his target into.
âKeep it clean, Zenâin,â you warned, speaking quickly in an attempt to get your full instruction out, anticipating what you knew would be his next move. âNone of that bullshit you pulled in Fukuokaââ
You watched helplessly as he tore out his earpiece and shoved it into his pocket, without breaking the meticulously calculated pace of his stride as he crossed the park.
And there he was in action: Zenâin Toji, doing what he did best.Â
Before your eyes was the version of Toji you were the most versed with, one who appeared far from nervous and who projected an aura of aplomb carried by a deep resentment and animosity towards a system that had failed him repeatedly.Â
It was the man who possessed the unique ability to convert such sentiments into a relentless, singular focus on getting the job done and securing his payment.Â
This version of Toji didnât need to hear a damn word you had to say.Â
And yet, even in this moment, you couldnât help but hang on to the slip youâd witnessed just a moment prior, to these waters of vulnerability that had only been partially tested, to this tiny but noticeable deviation that proved the rule.
âNot only did that idiot screw this up, but he also left a trail as obvious as daylight and one hell of a mess for me to clean,â you lamented one day, some months later, as you absently stirred the straw in your cup, fighting against the bubbly pressure in your mocktail. âIf I break even on this one, itâll be a damn miracle.âÂ
With the initial intention of decompressing alone, youâd wandered into your favorite izakaya as you often did on the heels of a tough job like todayâs. By the time youâd unexpectedly spotted Toji sitting near your usual spot at the far end of the bar, you were mentally situated somewhere between being too exhausted to muster up the energy it would take to avoid him and longing to vent off the incidents of the day to what you knew would be a listening ear. Ultimately, youâd succumbed to the latter shortly after yielding to the force of habit of taking the empty seat next to him.Â
After a short silence, Toji let out a low, unresolved hum, betraying his keenness to comment even as he remained absorbed on the phone he was typing away on.
âWhat is it?â you asked, giving him a sidelong glance.Â
âOh, nothing⌠Itâs just that Iâve always known you to be more pragmatic than this,â he said with a hint of derision in his tone.
âYouâve barely known me for two years, but okay. Whatâs your point?â
âMy point is that this is what⌠The third big job like this that youâve pawned off to someone else? Sorcerer targets, no less.â His piercing green eyes finally met yours as he concluded his reflection. âNothing pragmatic about that.â
His words hung in the air as he broke your gaze for the brief moment it took for him to wave the bartender over. You averted your gaze just before he could meet your eyes, feigning profound interest in your drink, as if it contained the answers to everything.
âSo, why didnât you put me on it?â he asked.
âPut you on what?â
âThat little project of yours wouldnât have gone south if Iâd been handling it,â Toji said matter-of-factly. âI know this. You know this. Why didnât you assign it to me?â
You let out a sigh as the thought settled in your mind that he was intent on not letting this go tonight.Â
âThis might be so hard for you to believe, but my jobs donât all go to you, Zenâin.â
âSure, but these always have. Until recently, that is. Until you started avoiding me.â
The bar suddenly felt too quiet, Tojiâs voice too loud as he put words to a truth you couldnât directly deny.Â
You let out a scoff, pretending to sip from the drink you already knew to be empty by now. âLike I said, I work with other people too,â before imitating his tone, âI know this, you know this.â
âOkay, and howâs that been going for you?â he retorted.
Not fucking great, is what you wanted but couldnât bring yourself to say, lest you validated his point and be pushed to divulge the real reason why youâd been dodging him.
As you risked another glance at him, he looked up from his phone, his eyes locking with yours, his face an inscrutable mask, and you felt increasingly exposed as the seconds trickled by.
âSo⌠What is this, Toji?â you said in a mocking tone as you poked at his arm, your attempt at easing whatever this tension was. âYou gonna ask me to be exclusive with you now?â
To this, he simply scoffed and turned away, offering no verbal response.Â
For the first time this evening, you actually took in his demeanor, shoulders loose, dark tousled strands spilling back onto the edge of the hood of his light jacket, the faintest smirk tugging at his lips as he typed a response to whoever he was conversing with over text. He seemed to carry a casual confidence, a particularly cavalier allure, only compounding the precarious tone this conversation had taken.
Perhaps it was time to go.
Just as the bartender made her way over, you thought this would be a good opportunity to settle your bill. Before you could even formulate your sentence, Toji spoke first.
âSheâll have an order of the karaage,â he said, cool as ever.
You stared at Toji in disbelief, frozen by the complete unexpectedness of his act, and by the time you turned back towards the bartender to rebut, she had already swiftly scurried away.
âWhat the hell are you doing?â you asked, turning back to Toji.
âIt doesnât take two years to pick up on your tendency to forget to eat on a day like this,â he said pointedly before returning his attention to his phone.
Something about this ticked you off.
âIâm just about ready to leave,â you said.
You slid one leg off the stool as you prepared to get up, but Toji grabbed at your wrist, gently pulling it up to your eye level. Your hand was trembling at this point, your agitation mixing with the symptoms of what was increasingly feeling like low blood sugar. To make matters worse, as if on cue, your stomach emitted a low growl, singing the song of what was nearing a day and a half of neglect.
âNot before you eat something,â Toji said, his voice low but his eyes narrowed in a mixture of concern and something else.
It was with an inadvertent ease that you followed his guidance and sat back in your seat, and only when he was certain that youâd relented did Toji return his attention to his phone.
Tears borne of an unidentified frustration quietly began mounting, threatening to prickle at the corners of your eyes. The past few weeks had been a storm of growing pains as you sought to establish yourself more independently in this nebulous underground world.Â
As a non-sorcerer who could see curses and the carnage they sowed, you werenât unused to the harsher lessons of life. But eventually some of the lessons, like todayâs, chipped at your patience a little harder, some of the stress that had gradually built up now sought an outlet, and some part deep inside you wrestled with the reality that in this chaotic world of yours, the only steady anchor that had kept you grounded throughout these recent tribulations was sitting right next to you.
âWe hang out too much, you know.â The words abruptly escaped your mouth before you could measure them.
âWe hang out too much?â Toji slowly repeated, staring at you with an incredulous look.
âI see you outside of business more than I do any of my other associates.â
âYou see your other associates outside of business?â
âWhat? No, I donât. And thatâs my point.â
âWell, then Iâm glad I get to be your special person,â Toji returned with a smirk.
âIâm serious, Zenâin. The fact that youâre privy to my eating habits proves my point. And thatâs exactly why I diversify my sourcing.â
Tojiâs eyes slightly narrowed at this, and his voice dropped when he responded.
âYou do realize that the one who followed me here tonight, right? I was sitting here minding my own business andâŚâ
âI did not follow you! I obviously didnât think youâd be here!â you snipped, immediately earning you a snicker from Toji. âBesides, Iâm the one who introduced you to this place. Itâs been my go-to spot long before I ever met you.â You emphasized the last word, poking his arm with your finger as you did.
âYouâre gonna try to call dibs on a fucking bar, Miss handler?â he said with a cocked eyebrow and the shadow of a teasing smile.
The eye roll you gave him reflected the playful spirit that seemed to be slowly returning between you.
You had half a mind to finally ask him what it was that had him unusually engrossed as he tapped away at the keys of his phone, but you were instead preoccupied by this subtle tightening of your chest.Â
It irked you a bit, this uncanny ability Toji seemed to have when it came to reading you, the way he often indirectly shirked your unspoken rules of engagement, and, perhaps even more so, the way youâd allowed him to. Perhaps it was all this, combined with your particularly sensitive disposition, that caused you to have this unguarded moment.
âWhat do you want, Toji?â you asked, surprising even yourself with the directness of your question.
âWhatâs that?â he said distractedly, his eyes never leaving his tiny screen as he appeared far more interested in whoever he was chatting with on his phone.
âWhat is it you want from me?âÂ
At this, he lifted his head, and a silence stretched as you watched him stare with an inscrutable expression in his piercing eyes, and you felt like you had the time to die from regret at your impulsive words three times over before he responded.
âWhat I want from youâŚâ He pondered. âSo you mean aside from a steady flow of lucrative contracts, like old times? Or is that too much to ask?âÂ
âClassic Zenâin. So I really am yet another woman youâre using for money.â You dared to hope that the tension had eased, a feeling that proved to be fleeting when Toji scoffed and quietly responded.Â
âYou know damn well itâs not like that with you,â he said simply.
âNo? Tell me what itâs like then,â you pressed defiantly, yielding to the sudden surge of incitement coursing through you.Â
He took a sip of his drink, and as his gaze held yours over the rim of his glass, a silent calculation seemed to be running through his mind. All you could do was watch, trying to drive down the loud thumping of your heart hammering in your chest.
âYou handle the jobs, and I fulfil them. Successfully. We make a good team. That simple,â he finally said, after having visibly weighed his words.Â
âAnd here he is, Zenâin Toji, evasive as ever, jumping ship.âÂ
Your accusation was met with yet another scoff.Â
âAm I jumping, or am I just avoiding getting pushed?â Toji mumbled as he returned his attention to his phone, as if to minimize this subtle concession.Â
You observed him, pointedly so, and you could tell that he knew you were. Still, he kept his eyes on his screen.
The bartender reappeared with your appetizer, and your stomach growled at the delectable sight, and at the delightfully aromatic notes of garlic and ginger from the marinade wafting toward you.Â
âYou can add those to my tab, and Iâll settle my bill now,â Toji told her as he finally snapped his phone shut.
You stared at him, unable to articulate, for the second time that evening, the full thought of your surprise at his gesture.
Toji must have noticed this because he smirked at you and held up his hand.
âOh, and please donât read into this, Miss handler,â he said, poking at your arm not unlike you did a few moments ago, and it was his turn to take on a mocking tone. âAfter this, I expect all of our food outings to be all business⌠And your treat.â
He reached into his jacket pocket and withdrew his wallet to pluck out a few crumpled notes, which he placed on the counter with a finality that signalled he was about to leave.Â
âListen, you really donât need to test me. Youâve drawn the line, and I wonât try to cross it,â he said in a slightly dismal tone, and his eyes momentarily appeared to carry an air of something wistful.
But by the time heâd glanced down at you, heâd all but recovered what resembled his usual demeanor.Â
Just as you were going to respond, you watched him glance toward the door and stand up, noticing the way his lips curled upwards into a smile that didnât quite reach his eyes.Â
Following his gaze, your eyes landed on a young woman who stood by the entrance donning a fur coat and an oversized bag whose iconic, undoubtedly pricey logo evaded you in this whirlwind of a moment, one that swung as she enthusiastically waved at Toji.Â
You returned your gaze to him.
âSupplemental income,â he said as if to answer your unspoken question. âYou know, since Iâve fallen on hard times. Maybe you know someone whoâs hiring?â he added with a smirk as he stood up. âCall me when you want to get serious about business again. Itâs really simpleâget me those jobs, and Iâll get you your money. Every time.â
âRight⌠Like old times,â you said. You were trying to keep up in this repartee, but hearing the slight tremble in your own voice caught you off guard.Â
He observed you through narrowed eyes, with something of an intense, unreadable gaze as he downed the rest of his drink before slamming the cup on the bar, a little louder than youâd expected.
âLike the old days,â he mirrored as he leaned down slightly to speak his next words, eyes fixed straight ahead, âAs long as you donât ask me what I really want from you again.â
The quickness with which the goosebumps rose so easily on your skin at his statement bothered you.Â
It bothered you, almost as much as the pit in your stomach at the sight of Toji placing his arm around his companion for the night did, almost as much as the illicit directions in which your treacherous mind wandered off to later that night, as you tried to forget the sensation of Tojiâs calloused fingers closing around your wrist in an act betrayed the genuine concern that lie beneath the veneer of callousness that typified him.Â
You knew it then and there, that for the sake of your wellbeing, you would have to learn how to quash that quiet, nefarious voice in the far back of the mind, the one that whispered the two words that came to completely upend the premise that Toji Zenâin was an associate, a colleague, maybe even somewhat of a friend, but that neither of you had any business in wanting anything more out of this purely professional arrangement.Â
And yetâŚ
When you met up with him a few days later to discuss the details of the next job you have for him, youâd braced yourself for any kind of weirdness that might arise from Toji. If he felt affected at all, he certainly didnât show it; not then, as he displayed far more interest for the images flashing at the top of the screen tracking the coverage on his favorite racehorse, the one who had just incurred a career-ending injury before his very eyes, and not at anytime during the months that followed as you found a work pace that resembled more like the âold daysâ.Â
A few months after the incident at the izakaya, things between you had seemed to regain a certain normalcy.
Until they werenât.
At some point, youâd found yourself managing more jobs than you could supply for, and this just as Toji almost abruptly became less and less available.Â
This seemingly sudden shift compelled you to call up Shiu one midday in spring, during your daily walk.Â
âHey, have you managed to get a hold of Zenâin lately?â You asked as soon as he picked up.Â
âHeâs not working with you?â came Shiuâs voice, heavy with sleep and a subtle hoarseness that hinted at a hangover.
âI havenât spoken to him in weeks. Heâs a tough guy to reach these days, and I could really use his manpower right now.â
âWell, get in line. To be honest, Iâd assumed that he was busy taking jobs from his favored one when he rebuffed my job offer a couple of days ago. That bastard also left me sitting on the gig of a lifetime with no one to execute it.â
âFavored no more,â you said with a sardonic laugh escaping your lips. âMaybe this is the end of the line, Kong. Maybe weâve both been outclassed. Someone else might be out there sourcing better opportunities for our friend.â
âWell, I suppose his hands are somewhat full with his wife assigning him the task of a lifetime,â he said.
You stopped in your tracks.Â
âWait, his wife?â you asked.
âAw, shit. He didnât tell you yet? You did not hear it from me, okay? Youâd better act surprised when he tells you the news about the little blessing theyâre expecting together, otherwise he may never return either of our calls.â
For a moment, your world felt weightless and still, before a raspy rattling cough eventually emanated from the other side of the line, breaking the silence.
âAlthough at this point,â he continued, âthat son of a bitch might truly be out of the game for goodâŚâ
There was no telling how many minutes ticked by after youâd hung up the call, leaning on the cold metal railing of the bridge youâd been crossing, lost in watching the current carry half-melted patches of ice down the riverâs stream.
A tangle of emotions jostled for dominance within you as you processed what youâd just learned.Â
First came surprise at the double revelation of Zenâin Toji being both a married man and an expecting father.Â
Then, genuine excitement and joy at its significance, at the prospect of him making something good for himself.Â
What followed was a subtle pang of betrayal at the conclusion of him keeping a major life update from you, one that quickly transfigured into a shameful acknowledgement of your fleeting sense of entitlementâthe deeper, less reactive, more honest part of you knew better than to take offence at any of this, especially after years of trying to enforce a professional boundary between you two.
Ultimately, it was an odd, quiet stillness that settled in your chest: a certain comforting clarity, an odd mental weight lifting from you as you accepted that perhaps this was exactly what you needed to hear right now, as the sun steadily crossed its meridian on this quiet spring day.
Because now it was easier than ever to turn the page and to finally entirely quash any lingering thoughts that something could ever happen between you and Zenâin Toji.
Three years later
âYeah, something unexpected at work⌠No, just the night will be fine⌠Iâll be back before he wakes⌠Thank you, I truly appreciate it.â
Toji snapped his phone shut and sighed, wincing as he fully exhaled, the sharp pain in the side of his rib a vestige from the physical altercation heâd been in moments ago against the four goons who had tried to stiff him on a job heâd successfully delivered.Â
Something had to change.
These small-time jobs were not yielding nearly the results that heâd wanted. In light of his new, single-parent situation, Toji had tried his best to stick to lower-risk activities, but in a way, doing so had proven to be more of a pain in the assâthe pay was meager, not at all commensurate with the bullshit he had to deal with on the side. These were a far cry from the high-stakes assassination jobs heâd engaged in, once upon a timeâthe juice was simply not worth the squeeze.
He tilted his head upwards, leaning back against the wall of the dimly lit alleyway heâd slid into, just a few streets away from where heâd successfully knocked out his assailants. His eyes strained as they searched the inky sky for any distraction from the discomfort.Â
Tojiâs thoughts wandered to three-year-old Megumi, to the reaction his son might have this time, when the kind oba-san heâd often entrust his son with would tell the young boy that his father would once again be unable to pick him up tonight as originally planned. While Megumi had had a more tearful reaction in the first few occurrences, it had only taken so many instances before heâd adapted, gradually reacting less, at least outwardly.Â
âHe was less surprised than slightly disappointed,â had said the oba-san of Megumi, one morning as Toji showed up on his neighborâs doorstep to pick up his boy. She had become the de facto babysitter Toji would turn to whenever he was in a pinch, and that Shiu was also out of town. The sentiment of pity she seemed to harbor for the child was not lost on him, even as she tried to disguise it behind her warm smile.Â
It frustrated Toji to no end, but he really couldnât complain much. Heâd only detected authentic kindness from his neighbor, even when he burdened her with last-minute requests as heâd just done tonight.Â
Something had to change.
Another pang of pain emanated from his ribs. He instinctively reached for the area, fingertips brushing against the familiar outline of the leather edges of his wallet, which happened to be at the perfect angle to soften the blow of one of the hits heâd tanked. In it, he currently carried only one thingâa picture of the woman whoâd somehow maintained indirect but tangible links in her eternal watch over him and their son.
Toji completely took the blame for allowing this to happen. Somewhere along the way, heâd deluded himself into believing that he could enjoy good things. And for some time, he did.Â
Until life caught up with him.Â
His eyes adjusted to a shape in the dark sky, one of a small, faint crescent barely holding the shape of a new moon rising.Â
It was never a new beginning for Toji, only a new cycle.
He pushed off the edge of the wall and began making his way down towards the city centre, armed with only a couple of thousand yen and the determination to earn the monthâs expenses back.
On his way there, he walked past the izakaya youâd often frequented, the one heâd managed to drag you to on quite a few occasions after a mission.
Something had toâŚ
Heâd tried everything else. Heâd taken jobs from small-time monkeys who were playing mafia without having nearly as much influence as they needed to. Heâd picked up the occasional bounty heâd come across if it advertised a payment worth his time, which was becoming increasingly rare. Hell, heâd even swallowed his pride and damn near begged Shiu for jobs but the man had been decidedly long out of the game as far as the Japanese territory was concerned, after an endeavor involving some Grade 1 sorcerers had gone direly south and forced him into keeping a low profile for the foreseeable future.
âHave you even tried calling her yet?â Shiu had said on the phone one day, in one such case, when Toji had called inquiring about jobs.
âCalled who?â Toji had absently replied, feigning ignorance despite knowing exactly who Shiu was referring to.
âOh, alright, so youâre not really trying to help yourself, are you?â his friend said with a sigh. âI gave you her number and informed you that if thereâs anyone worth a damn remaining in that sad state of the game, itâs her. I donât know why you hesitate so much to reach out to your old handler. â
âI have my reasons,â Toji replied.
âWell, that has nothing to do with me, then. I canât help you beyond this, Zenâin. Say hi to the little one for me.â
âI told you itâs Fushiguro, you useless idiot. And I already told Megumi that his uncle abandoned him, just like he abandoned his father,â he said, quickly shutting his phone closed before he could get a response.Â
It was the same phone that was now growing hot, feeling as if it could burn a hole in his pocket, just like it always did whenever he walked past this establishment heâd long associated with you.
As his feet took him back to the city center and towards the gambling parlors that felt like home, Toji tried to make the mental migration to which overseas races were running so late and which bets to make that night.Â
It was the best thing he could do to help himself pretend that you werenât filling his head, invading his every thought, and that he wasnât the very person getting in the way of the change that needed to happen.Â
An abrasive cloud of tobacco smoke wafted through the premises, testing what was your already weak tolerance to its absolute limit.
Here lay bare an abundance of misplaced machismo, coming in the form of overpriced alcohol, of comically large imported cigars, and of men engaging in unspoken dick-measuring contests as they passed by each otherâs tables.Â
You hated most things about this place, but it was the only one that fit within your stringent parameters of a central vicinity, along with an enforced prohibition of weapons checked at the door.
It was the kind of establishment that strayed remarkably from your usual meeting spotsâa dimly lit room in the retrofitted back of house of a restaurant that was seemingly upscale in appearance but not so much in substance. Unfortunately, it had also, for years, doubled as a meeting spot for the whoâs who of the underground curse user world.Â
You watched as one of the said curse users sat across from you, unceremoniously chugging down the remainder of his beer as you stared at the drink youâd barely touchedâa club soda with lime that carried far too conspicuous a carbonation to pass off as a gin and tonic as youâd hoped. In hindsight, its bland taste was truly emblematic of the way this negotiation had gone thus far.
âIâll say this. I do think they should send out girls like you here more often,â the man said. He was a curse user, visibly one of the smarmy, presumptuous ones who came from backgrounds that did not quite reach the prestige of the Big Three sorcerer families.Â
âNo one sent me here. Iâm here representing mine and my clientsâ interests,â you replied, trying your best to ignore his condescending tone, his lecherous gaze, and the urge to punch the smirk clean off of his face. People like this were even more bothersome than the Fly Heads you would spot on occasionâat least those curses could be exorcised.
âA twenty percent fee is highway robbery, bordering on levels of disrespect I canât imagine is of your making. And I donât take well to being disrespected.â He paused for a moment, making a show of reaching for a second cigar before heâd even finished through the first once heâd walked in with, before continuing, âNot even by pretty little things like you. Iâll do it for eight.â
The sexism was par for the course from someone like this and left you largely unfazed. It was everything else that was off-scriptâyou typically refrained from any kind of in-person discussions until you had some form of bargaining chip or a guaranteed vested interest from the contractor or a common third-party partner. Instead, youâd taken a gamble on a sketchy referral, telling yourself youâd wing it and work out a deal anyway. The combination of these factors, along with a lingering uneasy feeling, threw you off your game.
âWell, I donât take well to having my time wasted,â you said, hoping that what was still only a feigned assurance would quickly transfigure into something real.
âAnd yet here youâve been sitting for the past twenty minutes. You couldâve walked at any time, but something tells me that you want this as much as I do," he said, leaning in close enough that you could smell the stench of alcohol on his breath, "Iâd even venture to say you need this even more."
There was a certain degree of veracity to his words, you thought as your mind wandered off to the true motivation behind this endeavor, to how the incidence and reward of this job could help you cement yourself as a key player for the sector once and for all, a stability youâd vied for if only help alleviate the pressures weighing on you and your family since your father passed in the spring.Â
But you were also playing the long game, and your reputation always took precedence over the outcome of any deal. You werenât so desperate yet as to allow yourself to be played like this.Â
And so you held his gaze, intent on maintaining an air of resistance for as long as you physically could. Only once a feminine voice emanating from the nearby entrance of the bar caught his attention did he break eye contact, suddenly much more interested in ogling the woman who had just entered.
Your eyes scanned past the newcomer, glancing over the tables and the makeshift bar before landing on a familiar face sitting in the darker corner of the bar.
Your breath hitched at the sight.
The years had visibly weathered Toji, yet he seemed to carry them rather well. His shoulders were broader than youâd remembered, bearing a solidity that spoke of a grounded and practical strength, untouched by vanity. Even from your distance, you could spot the little nuances on the face youâd committed to memoryâlike the etched lines that lent him a compellingly mature allure, and the deep-set eyes that hinted at the melancholic story of his absence.
Whatever drink Toji had ordered remained intact, and he sat with one elbow casually set on the counter, simply observing you.
Your mind raced as you tried to piece things together.Â
What the hell was he doing here? Despite your clear view of the entrance, you hadnât noticed him entering the bar.Â
Had he arrived before you did? You were always amazed at the way Toji could dextrously flip between being stealthy and noticeable at his convenience.Â
Was he here on a job of his own? Perhaps one that could jeopardize yours?
These questions that jostled through your mind would undoubtedly go unanswered for the moment. All you knew for sure was that Toji was very much present, and as you locked eyes with him, you could discern that familiar little twinkle in his eyes, the one youâd seen countless times before that only spelled one thing: that man was up to no good.
You tried your best to maintain a poker face and to avoid alerting the curse user to the message you were silently telegraphing to Toji.Â
Stay out of this.
Toji remained still but didnât stop watching, his eyes shifting over to the man before you and then back to you, and you could already tell just by the calculating expression he wore that he was plotting something.Â
Alarm bells went off in your mind. The signals he appeared to be giving you about the man who sat before you were nebulous but clearly present. This was reminiscent of some of the jobs youâd worked together years prior, the ones that had you on the field alongside Toji, and wherein you would have to resort to body language to communicate quickly through a rapidly escalating situation. You increased your vigilance, trying to remain calm even as you tensed with an anxiety that was now somewhat anchored by Tojiâs presence.Â
You threw one final glance at Toji, who had his eyebrow cocked up seemingly in a question that you found yourself unable to decipher in time.Â
Once the curse user was done leering at the newly arrived female patron who had just walked past your table and out of his sight, he finally returned his attention to you.Â
âHow about this, then?â you started, flashing a deceptive smile and feeling a newfound confidence building within you. âIâll pretend I didnât hear the absolute joke of an offer you just made, and Iâll give you one last chance. My fee is twenty percent. Take it or leave it.â
At this, the curse user chuckled, his turn to attempt to muster up a phony cordiality that didnât quite reach the derisive look in his eyes, before he countered.
âWeâre visibly getting nowhere fast. I guess this one isnât in the cards,â he said as he pulled away and began to gather his cigar apparatus from the table.
It was almost comical to watch this absolute swindler try to flip the negotiation script on you. Little did he know that you, too, were more than prepared to walk away, and that though it would be a pain to find a match for this specific skill set, passing up this opportunity would ultimately be his loss.
âIt appears so,â you responded in kind, as you pushed against the table, sending your chair back with a grating scrape on the uneven flooring.
You inconspicuously glanced towards the bar area with half a mind to prepare to leave the table, only now discerning Tojiâs notable absence from the seat youâd last spotted him in.
Your mind barely had a chance to register this before chaos ensued.
It all occurred so quicklyâsomeone suddenly bumped into the left-hand corner of the table as they walked by, causing it to jostle and sending your cup to rumble before it toppled over, its contents spilling uncontrollably over and onto your interlocutor. The sudden movement caused him to flinch instinctively, cursing out loud as he raised his arms off the table and into the air, revealing a familiar steel glint that emanated from the inner lining of his jacket, the nature of the object immediately apparent to you.
A firearm.
And thanks to the commotion that had drawn newfound attention to your table, you clearly werenât the only one to notice the weaponâs glaring presence.
âHey! So why was I cavity searched at the door if this guy can just bring a fucking piece in here?â called out a voice from the booth adjacent to yours. If everyoneâs scrutiny wasnât already set on your table, it sure was now.
âWhat? No, I⌠Look, this isnâtââ
All you could do was watch in awe as this supposedly menacing curse user was reduced to a stammering mess, trying and failing to grasp at excuses he clearly did not have.Â
Mere seconds later, a security guard was over him, confiscating the violating object, now visibly revealed to be a small handgun, out of his jacket. A second tall tank of a man joined shortly after, and the two guards lifted the curse user on each side before practically dragging him through a back room.
And yet the pandemonium was only starting to unfold.
âThat scan you people force us to go through must be like Swiss cheese. How the hell did a gun get past this?â exclaimed a man from somewhere behind you, directing his ire at one of the guards.
âThis place has certainly lost its prestige,â came another voice, belonging to an elderly man from somewhere by the bar. âWhat good is it to come here with this serious laxity in security? Where are our exorbitant entry fees being allocated?âÂ
Tumult broke out as a palpable wave of consternation rippled through the room, taking hold of nearly the entire patronage. You watched as the sole bartender, who was visibly about to be overrun by the increasingly rowdy crowd, desperately called upon additional security. A bit overwhelmed, you seized the distraction as your chance to get the hell out of there.
As you stepped out into the crisp autumnal evening, your mind sought to process the whirlwind of what had just happened. Youâd only taken a few steps before you found him there, leaning against the brick wall of a neighbouring building, his casual disposition a stark contrast to the events that had unfolded.
You stopped only briefly enough to take note of the self-satisfied smirk on Tojiâs face, trying to decide whether you should confront or ignore him before you opted for something in the middle, and resumed your walk.Â
âAre you keeping tabs on me? I was handling it, Zenâ,â you cut yourself short, remembering everything youâd heard about him, from his new name, to the tragedy that befell him, to the fact that he was, in fact, back in the market for jobs. âWell, I guess itâs Fushiguro, now,â you added through teeth that werenât nearly as gritted as youâd wanted them to be.Â
You didnât need to turn around to know that he would be right on your heels.Â
âAlmost like youâve been keeping tabs on me as well,â he said with a small smile, a confession concealed in a callout. âAnd by all appearances, you did handle it.â
By all appearances. You hung onto his words and onto their implications. One of the few things that could damage your reputation more than settling for ridiculously low fees was being known to hide behind a prominent figure like Toji to enforce your deals for you, especially as a female handler. Itâs something youâd expressed to him occasionally in the past, when the frustrations of the day had compelled you to rant about the additional bullshit you constantly had to deal with as a result of your gender.
And you supposed he did listen to said rants because the way that Toji deliberately managed to intervene and help you out tonight without implicating himself was definitely not lost on you, nor was it unappreciated.
âDid a damn good job too,â he continued after a brief moment. âI donât think that scummy bastard will be in any shape to try to extort you or anyone else anytime soon once theyâre done with his ass.â
With a few strides, Toji had effortlessly caught up to you, squeezing himself between you and where the sidewalk met the road. One glance up at his face and his expression made it clear that he wouldnât cop to any involvement unless you pressed him, if at all.
âI didnât need your intervention,â you said, pointedly.
âReally? You had that pouty half-glare thing written all over your face, the one you make whenever you have a bad set of cards during poker.â
âI havenât played poker in years,â you retorted.
âPoint still stands. I think the words youâre looking for are âthank youâ.â
âHow did you spot the gun? How did you even know I was here?â you asked, too fatigued to withhold your defeated sigh.Â
âI didnât. I just happened to be there to enjoy a drink.â
âOh, bullshit, Toji.â
You glared at him, and he chuckled. Silence settled between you, leaving you with only the sound of leaves crinkling beneath your steps. It took you a minute to regain your composure and to root yourself out of your state of fight or flight in the best way you knewâby retracing the steps that led you to this moment.
âThese damn curse users,â you said, voicing your reflection out loud. âI swear, they are getting bolder with each passing day, walking around with such arrogance, like theyâre the grand prize now. I donât know what triggered this sellerâs market, but there must be some broker out there undercutting everyone, someone willing to lose out big time as long as it means killing the competition.â
Your words brought you back to the vivid imagery of the firearm carried by the man at the table earlier. Until this moment, youâd thought nothing more of it other than yet another arrogant curse user thinking himself above the rules. But now you thought of his reticence, of his confidence that almost exuded an eagerness to have you leave the table. And this is where the real questions formed.
Was that curse userâs intention to have you leave, maybe follow you out and threaten you, or worse? You thought of the unorthodox manner in which this meeting even came to be. In hindsight, it was almost too good of an opportunity, one that appeared to have dropped in your lap from seemingly nowhere.Â
You thought of all this, and of Tojiâs presence there, still unexplained.
You glanced up and to your side to take a good look at him, his eyes trained forward, his demeanor pensive, his silence causing you to almost forget that he was still currently walking alongside you. A hot flush of irritation suddenly crept up your neck.Â
âWhere are you going?â you blurted out.
âHuh?â Toji uttered, glancing down at you with his brow furrowed in confusion as if he was grappling with a perplexing riddle.
âIâm going home,â you snapped. âWhere are you going? Are you planning on stalking me all night?â
âAre you really?â
âAm I really what?â
âGoing home? Doesnât seem like you will.â
âAnd why would you assume that?â
âFor starters, you never go straight home when youâre this bothered. You hungry?â
An unusual wave of warmth washed over you as you took in his all-too-accurate reading of this small habit of yours heâd retained over the years for God-only knows what reason.Â
Like he could see right through you.Â
âIâm not doing this tonight, Toji,â you warned as you pinched the bridge of your nose.
âCome on, itâll be your treat.â
You froze in your steps at the phrasing you hadnât heard in years, betraying not only the sincerity but the significance of his invitation. Youâd let him rope you into treating him to food after a job ran long quite a few times in the past. It had almost become routine, one that youâd made peace with leaving behind after heâd unofficially exited this way of life.
âPost-job meals are only suited post-job. As in after a job,â you said, expecting to shake him off with this caveat.
âCall it a pre-job meal then, and donât tell me you donât do those because weâve had quite a few of those in our day.â
âThere are a lot of things I donât do anymore, Fushiguro Toji,â you said, enunciating his new name with emphasis. âThis world is very different from the way you left it.â
âYouâre telling me,â he retorted with an acerbic scoff. âListen, Iâll give it to you straightâI need work, Miss handler.â
âI know you fucking do. Youâve been harassing poor Shiu, who has his own slew of problems to deal with now.â
âWow. So you already knew this? You knew I was available, and still you went dumpster diving for contractors? With friends like theseâŚâ
âYou disappeared into the wind three years ago and never reached out since. So yeah, âfriends like theseâ.â
You felt a tightness gathering at your throat as soon as you uttered your rebuttal. This was decidedly not off to a good start, and not remotely close to how youâd envisioned a potential reunion with Toji would occur.
âOh, so hangry is what you are,â he said, his voice booming with a hearty chuckle. âCanât even blame youâfor being in the back of a restaurant, the food they were serving there was pretty shitty.â
You narrowed your eyes at him, appalled at the egregiousness with which he was dodging the topic.Â
âSo why donât we fix that first? And,â he quickly added, holding up his hand as he sensed your inevitable words of disapproval. âAnd once we have some real food in front of us, we can catch up⌠on these last few years,â he concluded, his statement sounding like a question.Â
Your world wasnât as Toji had left itâyouâd meant every bit of this sentiment youâd expressed to him moments ago. The three years of his absence had also spanned numerous life-altering events for you, indelibly changing you foreverâheartbreak after a long-term relationship, the passing of your father, and even a few close calls with death yourself.Â
And yet now, as you stood here, contemplating crossing that professional line as you had countless times before, and considering making an exception to break your rule once more, you couldnât help but feel as you did in the old times.
Itâs hard to place until this day, whether it was the frustration brimming beneath your surface after a difficult week, or the vulnerability you were suddenly feeling at the prospect of having potentially been targeted by some rascal tonight, or the odd feeling tugging at the edge of your mind, a silent voice that in some weird twist of fate, the only person that seems to have come even close to seeing you for the person you were beyond the mask youâve successfully maintained until now had just genuinely offered his company as a much-needed distraction.
When you finally delivered your reply, it was more to the sidewalk than to Toji.
âOkay.â
âOkay?â he repeated in a softer tone, and you could feel the slight hint of surprise in his tone. âAlright, Miss handler, letâs just cross right hereâthe next crosswalkâs way too far.â
He gently placed his hand on your lower back, guiding you to the edge of the road, and you let him. As you inconspicuously glanced up at his face, watching as he quickly scouted for cops and cars, you thought about how this risky jaywalk maneuver didnât even crack the top twenty-five personal rules you were breaking right now.Â
Toji hated to ask for any kind of assistance.
Heâd sooner watch an endeavor fail than resort to asking for any help, a frustrating stubbornness youâd sampled early in your dealings with him, and several times since.
But as you got reacquainted with Fushiguro Toji, you quickly learned that this did not apply when it came to anything impacting his son, Megumi.
Heâd never asked you directlyâit was inadvertently and through Shiu that youâd learned about Tojiâs elderly neighbor being exceptionally indisposed to babysit, as she had to care for her husband after his surgery.
So when you felt compelled to offer to cover for his absent babysitter, you knew to present it in a language he favored and under the guise of operational efficiency, given the unexpectedly short window he was given to take a job, and the large payout he was risking to leave on the table, to which he had no choice but to agree to, albeit reluctantly. Â
Despite your best efforts to repeatedly reassure him that he was in no way imposing, and that you were happy to help, a lingering awkwardness hung in the air as he'd unlocked the door to have you watch Megumi for the third time this month.Â
The initial impression youâd had upon first meeting the four-year-old child was of his striking resemblance to his father.Â
The impression you were having now, after helping Megumi through his nighttime routine and as you sat in the rocking chair next to the small bed where heâd finally fallen asleep after youâd read him just a few more pages from Journey at the Center of the Earth was that how appreciated just how much liveliness the young boy carried, and how integral it was to this unnamed comfort youâd grown to find here.Â
You carefully tiptoed your way out of the room to make your way back to the living area. Although youâd only been here a handful of times, Tojiâs apartment now felt oddly familiar.
It was a sentiment that extended beyond the fact that the cozy, modestly furnished, standard 1LDK apartment was not dissimilar to your home, one of an intimacy and comfort that youâd rarely experienced outside of your own, subtle in its manifestation yet loud in the newfound silence of the night.
The living space was sparsely furnishedâa bookshelf, a sofa, one coffee table before it, and another identical one that doubled as a TV stand. Everything came in a muted gray color that spoke to a pragmatism signed Toji, and that served as the plain backdrop that contrasted Megumiâs vibrantly colourful toys.Â
You place the book back into the bookshelf where youâd found it, and much like it had the previous week and the one before, the framed picture on the shelf just above your eyeline caught your eyeâthe only one on display in the entire house.Â
A beautiful, cheery woman carried baby Megumi, and Toji had one arm slung around her shoulders and a finger poking at his sonâs cheek. They had the allure of a happy family. For as long as youâd known Toji, you felt like you had yet to meet the man in the photo.Â
Oblivious to the passing of time, you were jolted back to reality by the distinctive click of the front door.
Anticipating that Megumi would likely already be sleeping, Toji went to great lengths to gently unlock the door. What he didnât anticipate was finding you in his field of view as soon as he entered.
He was still unused to seeing you dressed this casuallyâwearing a cardigan instead of the blazers that would comprise your outfits, a simple t-shirt instead of a blouse, in house slippers, as if it was the most usual thing for you to be standing like this in his living room.
Objectively, you appeared out of place.
And yetâŚ
After a short, heavy silence during which you locked eyes, you were finally the first to break the silence, your voice uncharacteristically quieter than heâd expected.
âWelcome back,â you said softly, minding your volume.
Toji quietly returned your greeting as he kicked off his shoes in the genkan. He took notice of the way you averted your gaze, and of the subtle shifting of your weight from one leg to the other, betraying a nervousness of some kind.Â
âTroublemaker fall asleep yet?â Toji asked suddenly, almost just remembering what had brought you here in the first place.Â
âMegumiâs tucked in; he went out like a light a short while ago.â You paused before continuing. âBut he wasnât a troublemaker at all. In fact, Iâm beginning to doubt this negative propaganda youâve been spreading about the boy,â you said, narrowing your eyes in mock suspicion.
âAlright, alright, none of that. He doesnât need more advocates. Youâre not the one who lives with him most of the time.â
Your playful eye roll elicited a smile that Toji couldnât hide. He padded across the hall towards the bedroom, only a little less quietly than you had just minutes ago, and stopped just before his sonâs bed.Â
It always was quite the whiplash, to come back from a job which sometimes involved violence, often involved some level of danger, and always engendered a type of guilt that heâd numbed, after years of practice, down to a slight pit in his stomach, one that was only nullified by this view upon his return, of his son still sleeping, eyes still closed to the ugly realities of his world.
For now.
From where you stood at the genkan to wear your shoes as you prepared to leave, you thought youâd heard Toji say something light, his voice too low for you to make outâyou didnât have the chance to confirm this before he emerged from the bedroom again, with an unreadable look on his face, as thought he was lost in thought.
âYouâre leaving,â he said, more of a statement than a question.
âI am⌠Assuming Iâm relieved from my duties,â you replied, a question more than a statement.
âYeah, youâre relievedâŚâ You sensed the hesitation in his words even as you tried to focus your attention on fastening the button of your coat before you reached for your handbag. âBut I am about to have a quick drink if you want to join?â
You froze in your movements and met his gaze, half anticipating a witty follow-up that would neutralize his unprompted invitation. It was your turn to hesitate, and Toji must have noticed this because he added, âYou wonât let me pay you. The least you could do is accept this.â
You werenât impervious to the way his features relaxed when you slid back out of the shoe youâd just worn and began taking off your jacket, wordlessly indicating that youâd relented, nor were you immune to the self-satisfied smile that breached his tired eyes.
âWhatâs your poison of choice?â he spoke out quietly over his shoulder as you followed him to the kitchen.
âIâll take whatever youâre having,â you responded, feeling a little rattled at how both foreign yet familiar this all felt.
âFair warning, Iâm only having mint teaâŚâÂ
âReally? You?â
âI try to avoid any stimulants at this time of night,â he replied.
âWow. This just might be the single most suspiciously responsible thing Iâve ever heard from you. Whereâs the real Toji?â you playfully quipped.
âDonât give me that. I drink it first thing in the morning and last thing before bed.â You watched as he pulled a box of tea from a discarded shopping bag, with its pristine, crinkling plastic wrapping.âI have some of that Earl Grey you love to drink so much.Â
Surely he hadnât bought this just for you, right?
A sudden rush of heat flushed through your body at the thought, then another one at the thought that you were even having these thoughts that felt like they rang loud in the silence that had slipped between you, one you realized must have stretched a smidge too long once he turned to you, with his suspended question still spelled on his face before speaking once more.
âUnless itâs something less responsible youâre trying to get into,â he added with emphasis on the word heâd reprised.
âNoâŚYeah. Earl Grey sounds good, thank you,â you finally replied, hoping you didnât sound as awkward as you felt now, oddly aware that you were standing just a few feet from Fushiguro Toji, in his kitchen, as he set a kettle for the two of you.
It had been a while since youâd been in his proximity like this, a while since youâd spoken. The nature of your lines of work had pulled you apart for the last few weeks, as Toji took on jobs that fell outside your purview, like the one that had kept him out tonight.
The silence was almost deafening.
âHow was the job?â You asked, finding yourself getting closer to him, leaning against the counter opposite where he stood, to be heard over the rumble of the boiling kettle.
Toji turned around to glance at you, slightly raising an eyebrow at the breach of your unspoken rule whereby youâd never asked him about jobs you didnât handle for him.
âThe job was⌠successful,â he said, almost tentatively.
You now each stood directly across from one another, each leaning your back against the counters behind you, staring at one another, leaving just enough space for this unnamed tension that settled between you.Â
âThe neighbor will be returning next week,â Toji said, a non sequitur he let hang in the air for a brief moment before continuing, âso you wonât have to drag yourself out here anymore.âÂ
âThatâs good, Toji. But again, I already told you that I am always happy to watch Megumi if Iâm free and itâs needed.â
Toji scoffed. âMaybe too happy. Heâs starting to ask after you.â
âOh, really?â you asked, your voice bursting out candidly loud, untempered, at a volume that surprised you seemingly as it did him.
âYeah, I was shocked too,â he said with a smirk.
âIâm not shocked, Iâm thrilled,â you said quickly, fumbling to find your stride in this repartee. âMegumi and I get along quite well, thank you very much, so donât you be a hater. Even more reason for me to see him more,â you added, crossing your arms defiantly.
âUh huhâŚâ Tojiâs lips appeared to part on the verge of the rest of his retort, hovering there for the few seconds that preceded the click from the kettleâs switch as it snapped off, the sound of its bubbling slowly subsiding back into silence.Â
You watched as he turned his back to you to open the fridge, pulling a handful of mint leaves that he tossed into his cup. He poured the water into your cup first before placing it on a saucer and handing it to you.Â
âThank you,â you said as you took his offering, your voice finding its low volume once more.
He nodded before returning to pour water into his cup. You began to tug at the tea bagâs string, lifting and lowering it in a slow, repetitive movement, but instead of your eyes being on the water, which tinted with each dip, they wandered over to Toji, observing as he engaged in the exercise of preparing his own drink.
You took the opportunity to take a good look at him, at what you could glean from the limited view of his side profile.
He looked tired, his eyes seemingly more sullen, their contours darker than you last remembered. Toji carried a slight stiffness in his left shoulder, the vestiges of an injury youâd known him to have had for a couple of weeks now, one that seemed to have been exacerbated, perhaps during tonightâs events. You noticed the side of his black collar, where a patch remained darkened and damp with sweat.Â
Nearly a decade of experience should have you knowing better. And yet, here you were, for the second time tonight, and for the umpteenth time lately, contemplating the duality of Fushiguro Toji. Â
His eyes flicked sideways abruptly, catching you completely off guard, his gaze meeting yours just before you had the time to avert it.
Your gaze quickly wandered over to the fridge, adorned with vibrant drawings and sketches secured by tiny, old magnets, like the ones that came with promotional flyers.Â
Your eyes traced over the larger drawing, the one that was in the middle, and immediately you recognized the similarity in its composition to the one in the framed picture you were looking at earlierâa stick figure rendition of baby Megumi, carried by his mother, with his fatherâs finger almost comically extending over to poke at his sonâs face.
âI see heâs a young artist already,â you remarked, the words sounding more like polite chatter than you intended.
You didnât yet dare turn back to look towards Toji as he fully turned his body around to face you once more. Only when his silence stretched on did you finally throw him a furtive glance, noticing him looking at you with a strange, unreadable expression.
âMegumi drew these⌠right?â you finally ventured, only realizing the silliness of your question as the words left your mouth.
âNo, I did,â he retorted, his voice dripping with such obvious sarcasm that you couldnât help but roll your eyes. âOf course, the brat drew these. But he rarely draws nowadays⌠He seems to prefer hiding behind his little books.â
Finally, you took a sip of your tea, and its warmth spread to your chest, bringing you a nice, relaxing comfort, as if it were melting a certain part of your reserve away.Â
âYou say this like itâs a bad thing. Reading is amazing, especially at his relatively young age. Just another sign that youâre doing well with him.
To this, Toji only let out a light scoff in response. It prompted you to push him a bit more.
âYou canât fool me, Fushiguro. I know you donât deny how smart he is.â
âI canât take credit for any of that. All he got from me isâŚâ he trailed off, his jaw clenching something somber, lowering his gaze to pick up his tea, eyes lost in the fragrant vapor that curled upwards, forming a thin veil to the sad contemplation in his eyes. âHis motherâs the one who instilled good things in him, just as she did for me. â
His words carried a crushing weight that went far beyond mere self-deprecation, and his tone was resigned, with a certain finality. A widowerâs grief wasnât something you could pretend to fully understand, nor were a fatherâs worries for his unwitting sonâyouâd heard about the rumors in the underground, about a Zenâin heir inheriting an all too coveted cursed technique, context cues had done the rest of the work for you.
Drawing from your own recent loss of your father, and the anxieties it brought on for your many, much younger siblings, you tried to articulate your sentiments for the manâs pain.
âYouâre still here, Toji,â your voice coming out as a murmur. âStill transferring some goodness into him. Here you are, standing, fresh out of a job, worried sick about your sonâs future as he sleeps comfortably and obliviously in the next room, all thanks to you. Having spent a few weeksâ worth of evenings with him, Iâve come to discover the smart, kind, and wonderful child that he is.â
Toji glanced up at you and slightly straightened his back.
âDonât sell yourself short, Toji,â you added, speaking to the depth of his gaze. âYouâre doing more than okay.â
You could almost see the tide of vulnerability gradually recede from his eyes, his expression schooled back to a more lucid neutrality.
âAll these compliments, Miss handler. You almost sound like you mean them,â he said, his snarky tone not quite matching the softer demeanor of his eyes.
And just like that, the moment was over.
You could only roll your eyes at him, and with not much else in your field of view, you found yourself drawn to the doodles on the fridge once more. Your eyes hovered over one particular drawingâit was the only one that had a fourth figure, one who stuck out and who didnât look like anyone from the trio of recurring characters formed by Megumi and his parentsâit was a woman who appeared to be sitting down on a chair, with a book open on her lap.
Not unlike you were less than half an hour ago, sitting in the bedroom after reading out of that Jules Verne novel.Â
You approached the fridge to take a closer look at the details on this drawing, at the striped cardigan that had become a favorite lately, at the small yellow hoops on the ears that resembled your signature gold ones, and at the physical features that were undeniably drawn from your appearance.Â
âHe rarely draws,â came Tojiâs voice, suddenly startling you out of your concentration. âBut he drew you.âÂ
For the second time that evening, you were caught off guard by something Toji had expressed and by its substance. You tried to latch onto the playful intonation of mock annoyance that punctuated his statement.
âAgain, you say that like itâs a problem, and yet, something tells me that whoever hung it up all the way up here probably doesnât think so,â you said as you threw him a sidelong glance.
You were anticipating some form of witty retort, but instead, Toji only grinned, and his reply came so simply, so naturally.Â
âYeah, maybe whoever did happens not to hate it.â
Heavy, dark gray clouds had long since cloaked the late summer afternoon sky in a sure sign of an imminent thunderstorm.Â
You shut off your carâs engine after having just parked as close as physically possible without your door hitting the edge of the short staircase that led up to the entrance of the warehouse unit that would serve as your rendezvous point with Toji later this evening.Â
Based on a well-informed estimate of the time it would take for him to carry out the job youâd assigned him, youâd made it here with at least an hour and a half to kill.Â
You were early. Perhaps too early. But given your unfamiliarity with this part of town and knowing how chaotic the bridges could get during inclement weather, you were unwilling to take any unnecessary risks.
The building consisted of an old nondescript warehouse repurposed into offices, which effectively served as units that were being rented out âunder the tableâ for cash and through a trusted word-of-mouth system that bypassed any sort of background checksâperfect for secure and clandestine off the books meetings and very convenient for the purposes of lying low after the kind of job Toji would be undertaking today.
You punched in the code for the entrance to your unit and found the security alarm to be already deactivated.Â
In hindsight, that should have served as your first warning.
Just as you moved towards the opposite wall, you heard a resounding slamming sound emanate from within the room.
A cold dread coiled in your stomach.
You found yourself reaching for the reassuring weight of your sidearm, but found it to be absent, only recalling now your decision to leave it behind to avoid any possible issues at the multiple checkpoints youâd hit on your long drive here.
With a fleeting glance, you turned back towards the door through which youâd just entered. Whoever was in here would inevitably have been alerted to your presence thanks to the sound of the door closing. You thought of the logistics, of your slim chances of making it back out to the hall, of reaching the elevators or staircase before the intruder caught up with you.Â
Your heart sank to your stomach as you heard footsteps approach you in the dimly lit space before you. You reached into your pocket to produce your small Swiss knife, ready to face whoever had made their way in there.
A soft hum preceded the sudden moment when a light flicked on.
You gasped, and it took you a few seconds to realize that it was Toji standing there.
âWhat the fuck, Fushiguro? You scared the shit out of me!â you exclaimed over the loud whirring sound in your ears. Leaning onto a cold counter, you buried your face in your hands, trying to regain your composure.Â
âWait⌠Why are you here already?â You said, rubbing your temples as you felt the beginnings of a stress-induced migraine form. âWas the meeting delayed or canceled or something?âÂ
His response came only in a low grunt.Â
âNothing? The least you could tell me isââ
Your words faded as you looked at him, taking in the sight of the open first aid kit and the stained gauze encircling his wounded arm.
âYouâre injured? What the hell happened?âÂ
Rushing to his side, you found him in the process of an awkward attempt at bandaging over a large cut on his right arm.Â
âIâm fine⌠Itâs not deep, just a cut,â he mumbled, sounding unconvincing as he tried to turn away from you.
âIf itâs just a cut, then let me see it!â you replied, pulling at his other arm.
âItâs not a big deal. If you really want to help, just hold the other end of theââ
âShow me, Toji,â you insisted, your voice tight with anticipation.
He hesitantly held out his arm, showing a clean cut that spanned nearly the entirety of his forearm, along with some smaller cuts and bruises.
âDid you get into a bar fight or something?â
âI did actually.â
âWhat? Iâm confused. Were you not supposed to be at a damn country club?â
âThis happened in the bar area, so technically itâs a bar fight. Someone came at me with a bottle. He regretted it immediately,â he said with a smirk.
You shot him a sharp glare for the short moment it took for worry to wash away your displeasure. âThis needs to be cleaned.â
âAlready cleaned it,â he replied.
âWell, you did a half-assed job at it, Toji.â
âWell,â he said, mimicking you, âhaving to use your non-dominant hand will do that.â
With a frustrated sigh, you picked up the first aid kit and dragged him by the wrist into the tiny washroom, and he obliged.
You instructed him to stand by the counter as you rummaged through the remainder of the measly first aid kit. You reached for the rubbing alcohol and poured it, without warning, straight out of the bottle down the diagonal cut on his arm. Toji barely contained his hiss, but his entire body contracted at the contact. You couldnât help wincing at the prospect of causing him pain.
âIâm sorry,â you mumbled. âItâs best to do it quickly.â
To this, Toji didnât answer. By now, it was only the buzzing of the overhead light that could be heard in the room, but you could feel his eyes on yours as you gently padded a cotton ball over his wound.
âYouâre not gonna ask for a debrief?â he said after a while, breaking the silence.Â
âWe can debrief once youâre patched up,â you replied.
âThat targetâs out of the picture, in case youâre wondering.â
âYou say that as if I should be impressed that youâve successfully completed your task. Do you want a medal, Fushiguro?â
He scoffed, seemingly satisfied with the response heâd managed to pull from you. âNo, I suppose not.â
Silence settled once more as you finished wrapping the dressing around his arm.Â
Once you did, you peered up at his face, and before you knew it, your hand moved on its own accord, brushing over his temple and just over the edge of his forehead.
Toji seemed to tense at the contact, which in turn made you quickly pull your finger back after lightly grazing him, along with a sudden flutter that erupted in your chest.
âYou um⌠You have a cut up here.â You only pointed towards it this time, avoiding direct physical contact. âI suggest you put a small bandage on it so that your hair doesnât irritate it further.â
Meeting his gaze, you found an inscrutable expression in his eyes, and an unusual warmth spread across your face as you became aware of the details in his green pupils, his distinct lip scar, and the warmth of his breath against your skin. You cleared your throat, taking a half-step backwards before speaking again.
âI donât think you need my help for that,â you added, turning away for the brief moment it took to fish out a small adhesive bandage from the kit and handing it to him quickly, as if it were a hot potato. âOnce youâre done with that, we debrief.â
You exited the small bathroom without a word, praying that your calm facade sufficed to conceal the frantic drumming of your heart.Â
About an hour later, Toji watched out of the corner of his eye as you stood before the counter, cellphone held to your ear by the shoulder as you typed away at your portable computer.
Usually, he wouldnât have met up with you before he was fully sure that he was in the clear. But in the absence of anywhere else to physically recover from the unexpected scuffle heâd found himself in, the safe house had been his only viable option.Â
He didnât expect that you would get there far earlier than your agreed-upon rendezvous time, didnât expect to have you see him in this injured, somewhat vulnerable state, nor to have you tend to him in the way that you have. And now he was left with these feelings heâd thought to have successfully buried years ago, re-surging in full force.Â
Some things had changed about you over the yearsâyour hair was longer, your voice carried a richer, steadier tone, each of your movements more deliberate.Â
Others had remained just as heâd remembered. Like the little bite of your lip as you made whenever discussing something urgent, or the pacing you did when you were trying to focus on the details of an important call, just as you were doing now.Â
The sound of your phone snapping shut jarred Toji from his reverie.Â
âOkayâŚâ you said as you approached him. âOkay, Flashy Fushiguro. Your stunt at the country club now has this prefecture crawling with cops. We are lucky that I have an in with the local police department, even luckier that my friend is supervising tonight, and that he owes me a fat favour. The best he can do is have his people do a superficial sweep of our sector and buy us about twelve unsupervised minutes during the nightly shift change for us to cross the bridge out of this jurisdiction. Things should be a bit safer beyond that.â
Toji nodded as he watched the lines crease your forehead, and as you very poorly stifled a yawn.Â
âThe shift change occurs in the morning hours at exactly 2:10 AM⌠Weâll have to stay put until then,â you said, lifting your eyes to his to gauge his reaction.
âNo problem,â he said quietly, and it was your turn to nod this time.
âAlright. Iâll sanitize the area. And then⌠Then, we wait,â you said and headed towards the washroom.
Toji glanced down at his watch: 7:46 PM.Â
It was going to be a long night.
It was a few minutes past 10 PM that same evening when the sudden, violent sound of thunder crackled, finding you on the losing end of a valiant battle against your somnolence at the seat youâd taken at the conference table where your head had slipped down from where you last remembered it leaning against your handâthe startling sound had you shooting straight upright into your seat.
âGod, that was so loud,â you said as you put a hand to your chest where your heart was still thumping loudly, turning towards the end of the table where youâd last registered Toji to be, only to find his seat empty.Â
Your head swivelled as you scanned the large open room to search for him. You were halfway rushed out of your seat when your eyes finally landed on him, sitting on the floor just by the radiator, on the far side of the room, right by the exit.Â
âThought Iâd ditched you?â he said, without looking up at you. You watched as both his hands appeared to be fidgeting with somethingâit only took you a few seconds to recognize a sound youâd been accustomed to years ago, the one belonging to the parts of Tojiâs handgun clicking into place and disassembling once more.
You sat back down and took a deep, calming breath to ground yourself before you replied.
âI thought maybe you got bored and went out to start another bar fight again.âÂ
Your eyes were still accustoming to his movements when his response came, only in the form of a light scoff.
âWhat are you doing sitting on the ground, anyway? I go out of my way to rent out a decent studio with real furniture, and you settle for the floor? In the dark, no less?â
âI felt like it,â Toji stated, his tone a bit shorter than youâd expected.
His movements resumed, a restless precision as the clip of his pistol slotted into place, with a series of successive clicks.
For a moment, the light flickered, plunging the room into a brief darkness.
âOh, not this,â you groaned. âWeâd better not lose power in this mess. Iâd better charge my phone just in case.âÂ
You rose from your seat and began walking towards the wall outlet that was beside the radiator, just on the side opposite where Toji sat when the light flickered again, this time turning off for good.Â
âShit,â you lightly cursed under your breath. âLook at the predicament your antics put us in, Fushiguro. I fully blame you for this, I hope you know,â you said, only half jokingly, as you turned towards his direction in the dark.Â
He said nothing in response.Â
âDid you fall asleep already? Youâd better stay alert. We canât both be knocking out like this.â
To this, Toji still did not audibly react.Â
Just as you turned over in his general direction, with your eyes still adapting to the dark, a cold lightning lit up the entire room, shining over his face and displaying, for the briefest of moments, Tojiâs widened eyes, something of distraught over his face.
âToji?â you called out, only detecting the worry in your voice as the words escaped your lips.
âIâm fine,â he said. âIâll be fine,â he added, as if working to convince himself.Â
Before you could formulate your response, another crackle of thunder ripped into the sky, this one much louder, much closer than the previous one. It startled you, causing you to emit a small yelp and to instinctively shuffle away from the window, and towards the exit.Â
In your clumsy shuffle, you ended up tripping over something youâd only later realize to be Tojiâs extended leg, sending you into a tumble towards the ground. It happened so quickly, that you didnât register your fall until after it had happened, nor did you notice the two strong hands that were holding you by the elbows after having diverted you from a trajectory that would have otherwise sent you nose-first into the wall-mounted radiator.
âIâm⌠Iâm sorryâŚâ You mumbled in the dark, disoriented and not really knowing where his face was.
âYouâre goodâŚâ his voice low and gruff, tumbling into your right ear. Only when you felt the sharp twitch of his breath against the side of your cheek, followed by the sharp intake of breath through his teeth, did you realize Tojiâs cause for wincingâyou had landed straight onto his injured arm, which had helped break your fall.Â
âSorry,â you mumbled again, as you pulled yourself off of him and settled on the ground next to him.
Lightning flashed again, and you realized how close your faces still were.
You heard the soft padding of what sounded like Tojiâs hand on the floor, as he appeared to be searching for something.Â
Before you had the chance to ask, he spoke first.
âI lost my fucking clip here somewhere,â he grumbled, his tone holding a tinge of something almost akin to an unusual distress.
You moved back and sensed something solid just under your thigh, and you reached under to pull out Tojiâs clip.
âHere it is. I was sitting on it. Handing it over,â you announced, as you blindly thrust it out in the darkness, in his general direction, immediately finding his cold open palm.Â
A testament to the stormâs rapid approach, another loud sound of thunder exploded above, the closest and the loudest it had been so far tonight. Just as it did, Tojiâs larger hand closed on the entirety of yours, squeezing tight.
He held it still, even as the tail end of the thunder rolled on as a rumble in the distance, and as you heard him let out the breath heâd likely been holding, it occurred to you that he probably didnât even realize it.
You didnât dare move, didnât dare budge a single inch lest you disrupt whatever was going on. The thunder had been so loud and startling that your heart was pounding a bit harder than usual.Â
But Toji? He was visibly going through something more extreme.Â
You couldnât tell how many seconds or minutes passed there, as the silence that had settled between you stretched on. After a while, just as you had half a mind to say something, Toji let out a wry, acerbic laugh.
âThe air was so unstable that day. I felt the pressure pressing against my skin even as I was getting dragged there,â he said, speaking at an unusual cadence, one that was at least half a beat slower than his usual.
You could now discern just enough in the dark room to see and feel him lean his head back against the wall. Throughout all this, his hand still hadnât loosened its grip on yours.Â
âMemories are so strangely selective. I remember resisting whoever dragged me to that damn pit, but I donât remember fighting the curses. I remember the burning sensation in my lungs, but I donât remember the words I was screaming. I remember the blood and tear-stricken fabric of my stupid, shredded haori and thinking that I would surely get in trouble for having ruined my new ceremonial clothing, but I donât remember how theyâd gotten that stained and fucked up to begin with.â
Toji shifted a bit, his grip on you finally loosening, and reflexively, you slid your fingers across the clip you were still holding, sweaty fingers easily gliding over the metal until they met the edge of his hand and gave it a light squeeze.
Lightning flashed again, bright enough for you to catch Tojiâs second hand hovering just over the right side of his mouth where you knew his scar to be, just quick enough to register his knitted eyebrows, his head slightly tilted forward.Â
âThe air had been unstable. It was a weird buzzing feeling that I felt throughout the entire episode, steady in the background of the cacophony. I could feel the thunderstorm before it formed, and thatâs what I still remember the most. The lightning. The thunder. The shortening gap between the two as the storm got closer and closer. It was only then that I felt the magnitude of my surroundings. The fear, the loneliness, the self-pity. Every flash of light announcing an imminent thunder. Every thunder strike hitting at shortening intervals, taunting me, intent on making me jump each time, reminding me how much of a weak failure I was.â
Thunder crackled loudly, as if on cue, as though just above your head. It made you jump, and you instinctively inched closer to Toji, who didnât budge but didnât pull away either.
The loud lashing sound of the rain against the windowpane started as a heavy downpour began.
âWhen the rain finally started, it was a welcome relief,â Toji spoke slightly louder now, just enough to remain audible over the loud sound of rain. âIt was cold and wet and uncomfortable, but at least it was something I could properly feel and touch, not some imminent threat hanging over my head. It came down as a deluge, its sound eventually drowning out the distancing thunder. And when I looked down, it had washed off all the blood I had on my handsâŚâ he trailed off.
For a moment, it was just you, Toji and the sound of rain.
âYou dislike thunder,â you whispered the words that came to your mind so easily, like the final piece of a convoluted puzzle, âbut you donât mind the rain.âÂ
It was the first time youâd spoken in a while, and it must have brought Toji back to the momentâafter letting out a low hum, he straightened up slightly and closed his hand over the clip you were still holding.Â
Reluctantly, you let go.Â
He took his clip and slotted it back into his weapon.Â
The next white flash of lightning revealed that heâd already reassembled the gun in record time. Much like youâd seen him do on countless prior occasions.
He drew a sharp breath, and you now understood that he was bracing himself, that he was waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop, for thunder to strike. You sensed, even as you were both very much plunged in the dark, the tension that he carried in his body. Fushiguro Toji, years away from the moment that he had first found the younger, Zenâin iteration of himself, scared and alone at the bottom of that horrible pit, was somehow reliving his nightmare with each strike of lightning.
Your hands moved before any conscious thought, reaching into the dark and landing on his arm, flexed and tense. They glided down his forearm, over his secured bandage, and the pulse of his wrist until they reached his hand again. You carefully closed one of them around the handgun, gently prying it out of his fingers, which he didnât resist, much to your relief. You set the weapon down on the ground by his leg before returning to his hand again and holding it, this time with both hands.Â
Thunder struck once more.Â
You couldnât tell whether you squeezed first, or he did, couldnât tell whether you scooted first, or whether he was the one to pull your head closer to his with his free hand.
You couldnât travel back and be with his younger version then and there, so youâd have to settle for being with him here and now, as lightning crackled in the sky, as the storm gradually eased, as the thunder began to fade, chased by the furious deluge of rain.
This time, it would not be one but two lonely souls that would face the stormâthis time armed with each otherâs company.
You stirred awake to a bright overhead light, and to a squeezing sensation over your shoulder.Â
âWake up, Miss handler,â came a voice, strikingly altered in the softness of its tone but unmistakably familiar.
It all came back to you at onceâthe job, finding Toji here, his injured arm, having to hide out from the patrolling authorities, the storm, the power outage.
His hand in yours, your head on his shoulder.
âI fell asleep,â you mumbled, still dazed, your question sounding more like a declaration.
âYou did,â Toji replied, his voice coming from just above your ear, a sensation that jolted you back to reality. You shot up upright and away from him as if he were a flame too hot to touch. The restored lightâs luminosity brought you into the open, making you feel suddenly exposed.
âShit⌠Uh, what time is it?â you asked the ground, not daring to face Toji directly.Â
â1:51 AM,â he replied immediately.
â1:51âŚâ You repeated, pinching the bridge of your nose in disbelief. âFushiguro, you should have woken me sooner!â
âYou seemed exhausted. Besides, I was keeping watch,â his tone tinged with a hint of amusement.Â
Only now did it occur to you that youâd been up for over twenty-four hours. And while this wasnât the first time youâd pulled off a herculean day like this, particularly while coordinating a big job, it certainly was the first time that youâd allowed yourself to succumb to sleep while working. Least of all in the presence of someone elseâs. Of Tojiâs.Â
This exceptional lack of vigilance on your part would have been alarming had it not felt so natural.Â
âOkay,â you said, finding your bearings, situating yourself in the moment and schooling yourself back into work mode. You rose to your feet and looked down at Toji for the first time, finding him peering up at you with an unreadable expression. âLetâs get going then.â
A short moment of silent contemplation passed before he simply nodded.
2:08 AM found you both packed up and outside the warehouse. A distinct smell of petrichor invaded your senses as soon as you walked out, clinging to the night air. You were on autopilot, feet carrying you to your parked car as Toji followed you closely.Â
You fumbled with your key once, pushing it toward the driverâs side door and narrowly missing the lock. When you tried again, you felt the solid, unyielding metal of the lock resist your key, once, then twiceâyou lifted it to your eye level, finding that you were using the wrong key from your set.
âHold up,â came Tojiâs voice as he crossed over from the passenger side, where heâd stood, carefully observing your struggle, unbeknownst to you.
Just as you pulled the door open, he placed his hand on the top of the window, preventing it from opening further.
âHey, stop. Youâre exhausted. Let me drive,â he said, the gentleness of his voice taking you by surprise.
âIâm okay. I can do this,â you said, a slight tremor in your voice giving away your uncertainty.
âYou could barely open the door. Iâm not letting you drive me in that state. Move over, Miss handler, weâre on the clock.â
Instead of nabbing the keys from you, he held his hand out, patiently waiting for you to place them into his palm. You couldâve categorically refused, couldâve told him to shut up and to get his ass in the passenger seat.Â
But you didnât.Â
Instead, you found yourself relenting and meandering around to the passenger side.
As soon as you took your seat, your phone pinged with the signal from your associate at the local PDâa short message confirming that the coast would be clear for exactly twelve minutes starting now.
After coming across the second red light in less than three minutes, the irony of obeying traffic laws as you were evading police after a hit gone sideways was not lost on you, but you figured it was better than risking drawing attention to yourselves with reckless driving. The stops made for some quiet, almost cozy moments, and without the distraction of the drive, you found yourself captured by a nervous energy as you took in the exceptional circumstances you were under.Â
You stole a glance at Toji, taking in the way he was awkwardly sitting with his knees practically jammed into your dashboard due to just how long they were in your comparatively small seat. His eyes, a visible piercing emerald even in the darkness, remained fixed on the road, deviating every few minutes to peek at the tiny green LED numbers displayed in your center dash, carefully keeping an eye on the time, speaking to a focused mode youâve watched him adopt countless times over the years on a job.
He suddenly turned his head, his eyes meeting yours unexpectedly, causing you to startle slightly.
âHey,â he simply said with a friendly smile playing on his lips.
âHey...â was all you could find to offer in response, realizing that heâd definitely caught you staring.
Toji chuckled lightly before continuing. âSo, Iâm gonna take an alternate route. I canât stand these lightsâtheyâll only slow us down.â
âWhich route?â you asked just as the light switched to green.
Toji made a sharp turn from the far lane, engaging in his proposed detour before you could protest further.Â
âThis side street up to the bridge,â he uttered, gradually hitting the accelerator.
âThis is a long-ass detour, Fushiguro. Way longer than the previous route. Iâve checked the timing on the maps countless times, trust meââ
âMaybe during the day it is. Itâs a lot easier to run a stop sign on a side street than a red light on the main boulevard.â
He slowly increased his speed, only slowing down at the stop signs to check for oncoming cross traffic.Â
âToji. We need to have crossed the bridge by the time theââ
âIâll get you to your bridge on time,â he said as he glanced at you. âJust relax and trust me.â
You were feeling entirely tested, in more ways than one, but without any stamina left to argue with him, you only sank back into your seat and resigned yourself to your fate.Â
As you made it across the bridge with a little under two minutes to spare, you could feel Tojiâs eyes on you, and you pretended not to notice him even as you detected him making an absolute show of leaning over and trying to catch your gaze through your peripheral vision.Â
âYou love defying orders, donât you? Just canât help yourselfâŚ.â you huffed, keeping your eyes on the road ahead. âYou always were and still are absolutely impossible, Toji.â
âBut I never let you down, now do I?â
To this, you had no response, none that would vindicate you at least, so you opted to remain quiet, still avoiding his gaze.
He drove in silence for a few minutes.Â
âHow long was the power out at the warehouse?â you finally ventured after a while.Â
You felt Toji shift in his seat before replying.
âHmm. About forty, maybe fifty minutes total?â
âI seeâŚâ
âWhy do you ask?â
âNothing, Iâm just curious.â
The small car was plunged into silence as you hit another light.
You noticed the bandage peeking out from his jacketâs sleeve.
âHowâs your arm feeling?â you asked.
Toji glanced at you first, then down at his arm, as if he was just now remembering his injury.Â
âOh, the little cut? Itâs fine⌠Why? You suddenly worrying about me, Miss handler?âÂ
You could only roll your eyes at him, finding yourself once more unable to come up with an immediate retort.
The light went green, and you realized now, as you turned the next intersection, just how close you already were to your neighborhood. The plan was to have Toji drive you home and then part ways with you to walk the rest of the short distance to his house.Â
Suddenly, the wait at the remaining red lights now felt too brief.
Your body relaxed at the sight of your street, at the thought of a warm shower, and of finally crashing into your bed. For the first time in over a day, you felt like you could breathe.
Toji made quick work of backing into your outdoor parking spot and cut the engine. Just as you exited the car, he pretended to throw your keys at you, causing you to recoil in surprise.Â
âHa. Just kidding, I wonât risk injuring you in your drowsy state. At least not before my check clears.â
As soon as he was within reach, you snatched the keys from his hands, feeling their warmth against yours for a fleeting yet notable moment.
âThe payment should clear by the time Iâm awake, you ass,â you said as you walked towards your complexâs gate. âIâll call you if anything comes up. Try to stay low for aââ
As you looked over your shoulder, you caught Tojiâs silhouette in your peripheral, only now realizing that he was still following you.
âWhere do you thinkââ
âItâs late. Iâm just walking you to your door,â he said as he closed the gap between you and found his stride next to yours, with an ease that felt strangely natural.
You punched in the code that unlocked the outdoor gate and turned to face Toji, expecting him to part with you here.Â
Your eyes met, and you saw something unreadable in their warmth, in the way his scar curled into a smile that was too soft to be a smirk under the glow of the streetlights, giving his strong features a softened demeanor. Â
âYou suddenly worrying about me, Fushiguro Toji?â you asked, reprising his own words from minutes prior.
âNot suddenly,â he said as he placed his hands on either side of the gate, effectively caging you in and urging you inside.Â
The sudden proximity forced you to oblige, and you backed yourself inside and towards the outdoor flight of stairs that led to your second-floor LDK apartment.
You couldnât pretend, as you slowly climbed up the steps with Toji in tow, that the odd weightless flutter that swept through your stomach wasnât real.Â
You couldnât pretend that the very act of Fushiguro Toji walking you to your door after youâd spent such an intimate moment at the warehouse didnât feel as imprudent as it felt welcomed, to pretend that he didnât evoke the most conflicting feelings towards this line in the sand of professionalism that was increasingly being washed away by the reoccurring wave of familiarity that had inched in between you even after years of separation, and of starting down your separate paths.Â
You couldnât pretend that you werenât panicking at all of this.
You walked down the row of apartments until you reached yours in the far corner. You swivelled on your feet to face Toji, who was stopped just a few steps behind.Â
âSurely this is good enough for you, Fushiguro?â you said.
âSoon as you go inside, Miss handler,â he replied.
You inserted your key into your lock, the correct one this time, and opened your door.
âGoodnight, Toji,â you said with your voice betraying your nerves as you kept your gaze forward.Â
âGoodnight,â he replied, almost unusually softly.
You were half a step inside when you heard him speak again.
âAnd⌠thank you.â
Your heart fluttered at his words, at Tojiâs first attempt to acknowledge that intimate moment you shared under the chaos of the storm. And there it was again, that earthy scent of rain rising from the soil, a fragrance that whispered of blooming possibilities after arduous turmoil.
You leaned backward to finally take a good look at Toji, only to find him already turned around and having begun retracing his steps away from you.
Once again, your body moved as if controlled by an unseen force.Â
You reached forward, tugging at his jacket sleeve, stopping him in his tracks. When he turned back to face you, it was with a curious expression on his face.Â
With your eyes still on his, you reached down, holding his hand in both of yours, not unlike the way you did in the warehouse a few hours ago, but this time you yielded to the force that compelled you to pull it towards you, guiding it to the side of your waist.Â
Your gesture met no resistance.
You took his other hand and did the same thing, and Toji followed your lead, closing a light grip on you. You tilted your head up as he got closer, still keeping your eyes on his, searching for the slightest flicker that would liberate you from this trance, that would stop you in your tracks, that would return things to normal.
It never came.
Even in the darkness of the night, it was an unwavering fervor that you found in his green eyes, an electrifying expression that drew you in closer and closer.
When you felt his fingers tighten their hold on you, pressing into the soft flesh of your waist, your lips parted on a slight gasp, and swiftly, Toji closed the distance before they could close once more, before languidly moving his own lips against yours, like he had all the time in the world.
It would be a boldfaced lie to say that you hadnât imagined what this could feel like. That you hadnât spent late nights in bed, staring at your ceiling, and playing out the different what-if scenarios after an adventure with then Zenâin Toji, with now Fushiguro Toji.
Your hands glided from where they still held on to his and slid up each of his arms, up to his shoulders, to the back of his neck, and you pulled him down against you. Toji responded by dragging his hands up from your waist up to your shoulders, giving them a light squeeze before settling on either side of your face. He tipped your head back a little, altering the angle, and further tangling his tongue with yours.Â
Years of self-imposed restraint on both your parts evaporated into the night air as you felt this moment become the center of your universe.
Until this day, you were unable to tell whether it was seconds or minutes that passed between you.
All you heard was a police siren suddenly ringing in the far distance, bringing you back down to earth, alerting you to your whereabouts.
You both broke the kiss at the same time, each lightly gasping for air as you faced one another.Â
âToji⌠Iââ
âI should go now, while itâs still dark.â He said this, but didnât loosen his grip, and neither did you.Â
âIâll see you tomorrow?â Finding yourself lacking the words to further vocalize your full thought.
âIf you still want to see me by then,â he said with a wry smile.
The tone of Tojiâs words only amplified their implication, their allusion to a distance you never wanted to feel from him ever again. Your worries coalesced into a pit in your stomach, tossing oil onto the fire of uncertainty that was forming in your heart.
âThat sounds like youâre the one who doesnât want to see me,â you said in a tone that you barely recognized, light and long since thinned out, like a thread about to snap.
Toji scoffed, shaking his head and pulling yours into his chest into a tight hug.
âYou will see me tomorrow, Miss handler,â he mumbled against your temple. âAnd then Iâll show you exactly how untrue that assumption is.â
He punctuated his statement with a light brush of his lips on your temple.Â
âGet some rest, sleeping beauty,â he whispered, gently nudging you backwards into your door.
It was a sleep unlike any other that blanketed you that night, a tranquility you hadnât realized you'd missed in several years.
Present day
The four knocks at your door come just after 8:30 AM, as they often do.
The distinct mix of sweet and spicy cinnamon taste tingles gently on your tongue as you make your way towards your apartment door. With a light kick of your foot, you push the hastily discarded size thirteen slippers out of the way and to the side to allow for the door to open unhindered.
And as you often do, you look through the peephole before opening the door.Â
âI like how I went through the pain of getting you a copy of my key, only for you to never use it.â
âWell, good morning to you too,â Toji says, contemplating you for a moment. âA man canât enjoy the view? Canât allow me these few seconds of reminiscing about the first time we met?â
He took your chin between his thumb and index finger, briefly brushing his lips against yours as he nudged you inside.Â
âOr do you not remember that day?â he mumbled, his voice a low rumble.
âOf course I remember,â you murmured, feeling a sudden heat rise up to your face as you shut the door behind him, taking a beat longer to close the second lock if only to buy you some time to process his remark.
You turn around to find him waiting for you, with one arm clutching the grocery bag you recognize to be from the organic supermarket down the street, and the other one reaching towards you, palm outstretched. You grab and hold two of his fingers, as you like to do, and Toji lets out a chuckle, light but perceptible as he heads towards your kitchen, tugging you along.
Perhaps one day youâll get used to all this, you think to yourself. Today is visibly not it.
âAlright, Miss handler,â he says as he begins to unload the bag, lining up his fresh ingredients on the counter. âOmelette or frittata?âÂ
âDamn, is the A/C even running in here? I feel like Iâm cooking here already.â
You grab the A/C remote from the counter and turn it down a few more degrees as you speak.
âIâve already cranked it down before you walked in, but it might take a little while for the temperature to adjust. I didnât think it would still be this hot in late Septââ
You turn back to Toji to find him pulling his shirt up over his head, before balling it up and smirking at you.
âHold on to this for me?â he says as he tosses it your way.Â
Your face does more of the catching than your hands do, and your senses are immediately flooded with the same scent youâve spent your morning enjoying in your apartment, now along with Tojiâs unique smell.Â
âBest believe you wonât be seeing this one either.â You punctuate your promise by pulling the shirt over your head to wear it.
Toji chuckled. âOh no, thatâs so terrible,â he says, fake mockingly. âWhy donât you come here so I can enjoy the view while I fix us breakfast?â
You shuffle your way to the counter opposite Toji. You reach for the cup of freshly brewed mint tea youâve just made for him.
âHereâs your AM fix, big guy,â you say to call him to your attention.Â
Toji turns around, and at the view heâs presented with, his world stops for a while.
He gently takes your offering, slowly bringing his cup to his lips.
âI picked up the mint at the market yesterday. The leaves looked fresh, but I donât know if you have a specific way of preparing this. Iâm basically just mimicking what I saw you do that one timeâŚâ
You trail off as you meet his gaze. From your point of view, all you see is Toji looking down at the cup, then at you, with a demeanor that begins as soft and innocuous, but quickly becomes charged as his eyes darken, and as his mouth twists into one of his signature smirks, not unlike the ones that always seem to precede a mischievous act of his.Â
Without breaking his gaze, he reaches out behind him and switches the stove off.Â
âWhat are youââ
You donât get the words out.Â
Not now, as you cut yourself off with a yelp after Toji suddenly snatches the cup out of your hands, sets it onto the counter beside you, and picks you up by the waist, lifting you onto the surface.
Not when he takes each of your hands into his, bringing them up to his shoulders as he chuckles a âhold onâ into your ear, eliciting a wave of heat that follows the line that Toji traces with his breath from your ear down to the side of your neck and to your collarbone as he glances down for the brief second it takes to undo the strings of your lounging shorts and to pull them down your leg.
âRight now, âTojââ Your voice barely a whisper, as your hand traces the hard plane of his chest in a gesture that betrays your lament. It is now a familiar, anticipatory heat that ignites in your belly, and you feel your heartbeat pick up at this newfound proximity.
âWeâre doing a frittata,â he cuts in before you complete your thought, âbecause I have a feeling you wonât have the energy to stand at the stove too long after Iâm done with you.â Toji punctuates his declaration by pulling your face towards his, where his mouth hungrily finds yours, as it often does, whenever gratitude and desire tangle together into a sentiment too strong for his words.
It is much later that you finally get your answer from your grateful man himself, as you brew a second mint tea to replace the one thatâs long since gone cold, that your preparation method is âpretty good for a noviceâ.
A/N: Thanks for reading! It was quite interesting to write about Toji for the first time. I do have a few more ideas I look forward to exploring, both for this duo and for some other universes!