#plus its fun

And that is because anytime I get acrylics done i have the urge to bite them off after 3 days. And there's no way I'll pay 60 bucks for not even a week of wearing them

Human!Wheatley Headcanons: Roller Coaster Edition

-The group (Chell, Wheatley, and GLaDOS) visits an amusement park for the first time. Wheatley is thrilled to be there

-Until GLaDOS starts dropping information that may or may not be accurate.

Wheatley: Oh, look at that! That one’s a doozy, one would assume. I mean, look at how high it goes! Um, how high does it go, anyway?

GLaDOS, before Chell can respond: 207 feet. A full 200 feet in one fast drop down.

*they watch the coaster go down said hill*

Wheatley, beginning to get nervous: Woah..

Chell: So that one?

Wheatley: Well, here’s the thing, I, uh- It is safe, right? I would assume so, but I wouldn’t like to risk it, you understand.

Chell: Yeah, it’s fine. People go on it all the time, don’t worry.

GLaDOS: Yes, it’s safe. Roller coaster accidents only happen every so often.

Wheatley: Oh, well that’s a relief- Wait, what do you mean by ‘every so often’? I thought you said it was safe.

GLaDOS: It is. If you don’t mind being at a 9.99% risk of death, caused by a rogue car flying off its track. Or by flying out of your own seat. Sometimes even by being too tall and becoming decapitated-

Wheatley: WOAH- that’s.. That’s enough, thank you for that.. wonderful imagery.

GLaDOS: I think it’s fair that you know all your facts before putting your life at risk.

Wheatley: Ah.. cheers..

 Chell, trying to comfort him: She’s never been to an amusement park before, either. I’m sure she’s just trying to get in your head. I mean, almost 10% is a little much, don’t you think?

Wheatley: Depends... What is that as a fraction?

Chell: ... *turns to GLaDOS* Where did you get your information anyway?

GLaDOS: I googled it. Just before we got here, I went onto the internet- You know, since I can’t do that remotely anymore- and I asked the little search box how likely it was to die from a roller coaster crash. Those were the results.

Chell: Then I think you need a more credible source, because I’m sure if the rate of fatal injury was that high on something used by the general public, it would be out of business before it even started. *turns back to Wheatley* You know I’d never put you in harms way. I’ve been on this one plenty of times and I’ve been fine. So, what do you say?

Wheatley: ...

Chell: We’ll all go on together, I’ll be right next to you.

Wheatley: ... Can I squeeze you arm if I get scared?

Chell: Do whatever you need, but I think you’ll be okay. *she walks up to the line for them to follow*

GLaDOS: It’s your funeral. I’ll be in a separate car. *she smirks while making her way behind Chell*

*The three get into the cars, Chell and Wheatley next to each other, GLaDOS in the car behind them*

Wheatley: *taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself down*

Chell: Are you alright? We can still get out.

Wheatley: What? No, I’m fine! I trust you. We are going to ride this roller coaster and get off of it with our entire bodies intact. No accidents!

GLaDOS: Well-

Wheatley: *turns around* I really don’t believe we asked for your input this time, actually. So, do kindly keep your mouth, uh, closed, please. *turns back to nervously smile at Chell*

Chell: You’ll be fine. *puts her hand gently on top of his*

Wheatley: *Blushes and nods*

*the ride starts moving*

Wheatley: Too late to back out now, I suppose.

Chell: Yep.

Wheatley: Tremendous.

*getting to the top of the largest drop*

Wheatley: *subconsciously and tightly clutches onto Chell’s hand* 200 feet.

Chell: Don’t think about it, you’re doing great.

Wheatley: *breathing heavily* .. Cheers.

*The coaster drops*

Wheatley: *screams, while now hanging onto Chell’s entire arm*

*meanwhile Chell’s other arm is up and is having a great time, GLaDOS is laughing at Wheatley’s terror*

Wheatley: *looks around with eyes only, and gets more used to it, now that they were on their second and final loop around*

*They get to the second drop*

Wheatley: *holds Chell’s hand tightly, but lets go with his other hand. He was going to put that hand up, but changed his mind and held onto the metal rail above his lap instead.*

*This time when they dropped, he’s laughing at his own fear, Chell smiling and softly laughing along. GLaDOS is now confused and slightly concerned. When they get off the ride, Wheatley is still laughing*

Wheatley: Woo! We made it, haha! That was.. Wow. That was terrifying. But fun *smiles at Chell*

GLaDOS: A lucky survivor.

Mmmm darling~~

You ever see a guy so beautiful that you just wanna cry???

Well here Max for an example <33