#pluresque

the thing that no one tells you ( & this is why shane needs clarification , it helps him ) about realizing you're gay , getting your heart broken by someone you were only able to love in secret ( even from him , in the end ) , & quietly coming out to your teammates is that because they don't know what kind of men you're into they set you up with the most boring men they've ever met for the next six months . because they don't know that despite dating some really nice women who are gorgeous ( & saintly for pretending like he was good at anything besides oral ) the only person he'd ever felt anything more than indifferent about was rude & competitive & challenged him at every turn but could be so gentle & attentive & rough when he needed & loving after & knew his body instinctively . since they were seventeen .

maybe nobody told him any of this because no one else he knows has ever had to go through wanting someone the way he'd wanted ilya or the way he'd been rejected by him . they definitely don't tell you that at some point you're going to feel worse about yourself than you ever have & settle . in ways shane has never settled in his life because it's easier than explaining for the millionth time there just wasn't anything there .

& sam is nice . he's really nice . he's an accountant that jackie's pilates instructor is best friends with & he's smart & he's only a little condescending about hockey & he only diminishes shane's accomplishments a little bit when he acts like devoting himself to hockey , killing himself for his team & proving that he is the best isn't something to be proud of . as if shane isn't the youngest captain in mlh history or a olympic silver medalist or a three time championship cup winner . but he's nice . he doesn't fight with shane or act like he doesn't exist or ignore him for months or make him feel like the world is off it's axis if they don't talk or fuck him the way that makes his head all hazy & forces him to relax when nothing else can but he's nice. he eats shane's diet without complaint & he doesn't party & he's okay with being discreet & he watches tlc religiously & he'll indulge shane watching the highlights of other games .

his parents don't like him , though . they think he doesn't know . but shane finds himself being a little more on alert about how they react to him . they're polite , of course , david & yuna hollander are polite people , mostly . & they've raised a polite son , mostly . they just don't click . he can't blame them , sometimes he feels like he barely clicks with him but there's a small part of him that worries it's not that sam is ... he doesn't want to say boring . he doesn't think that's fair . compared to some people he is not as exciting but boring ? he worries it's that sam is a man . they'd been so supportive when shane had come out to them , they'd been so reassuring but - they didn't like sam .

& he really doesn't mean to break up with him two weeks before christmas . he'd just worried , one night , when sam's breathing had made him want to crawl out of his skin that if he didn't break up with him as soon as possible something awful would happen . like he'd spend the rest of his life with sam or he'd die . neither option was feasible by the morning .

so , he does & sam is understanding . he doesn't fight it , he just smiles and tells shane they can be friends ( they can't & he won't ) . but now he's on his way to ottawa for a month with his parents . & if he's still stewing over the fact that ilya had broken up with him & then moved to his hometown , that's his own problem . it's not they'll see each other . not that they'll see each other again off the ice , ilya had made that very clear . @pluresque .

"fuck off," ilya's voice comes hoarse, swatting at shane's hand. so worried always, for no reason. so ilya is a little hot and also a little cold right now. what the fuck ever. fucking flu. russians do not get this, they both know. ilya, because he is russian. shane, because ilya has told him this. obviously.

it's not often that rose has reason to be suspicious. or, well, that's not entirely true — someone with her kind of life has to be naturally wary to some degree, dodging probing questions, people who care only about getting their five minutes in front of a paparazzi's lens, and the media trying to pull down any woman with the barest hint of confidence — but at these kinds of events, she's usually pretty safe from those worries. but usually is not always, and she looks down at ilya fuckin' rozanov with what can only be classed as suspicion.

❝ this feels like a trap, ❞ she says, sipping her champagne and hovering, instead; rozanov has a look in his eye, and rose isn't entirely sure she knows how to decipher it. ❝ you're not planning to kill me, are you? there are several witnesses. ❞

( @pluresque asked: 📺 Watch horror movies - from daniel! // spooky autumn prompts )

the hotel suite is dark, not only for the mood, but because as daylight turned to dusk and as the night wore on, armand hadn't bothered with the lights, nor with drawing back the heavy curtains to new york city's twinkling lights. eyes raised to the flashing images on the television screen. he's been enthralled by the television for hours, trapped in an endless marathon of horror movies with no intention of stopping. the psychological horror tends to bring on a pensive silence, fingers idling between fidgeting with the covering of the pillow resting on his lap as he finds himself trapped in the tension of the scene, breath held as if he needed it at all.

he's sitting straighter than he realizes — until the tense moment passes and he feels his shoulder brush daniel's again as he leans back into the sofa with a relieved sigh. armand's hand relaxes, flat on the pillow instead, but his amber gaze still holds the screen with intensity. films like this one are far more captivating, not like the slashers with blood spraying at the screen and guts flung around, with expressive screams that made a bubble of laughter rise from inside of him.

seconds pass — minutes in his captive silence before he glances to daniel beside him.

❝ have you seen this one? ❞

" you're a little elusive, aren't you? a bit like a mutual friend of ours. " friend wasn't really the right way for him to refer to armand, given everything in dubai, given everything in their past... a lot of which still eluded him. but for ease of this conversation ( and hopefully getting his way... ), ' friend ' it was.

@pluresque asked: are you sure you want to stick your nose into this? - daniel and benji :)

❝ fuck yes, ❞ benji barely lets daniel finish before he blurts out his answer. endlessly curious, endlessly nosy ( maybe he and daniel are more alike than he initially thought ), benji is fearless when it comes to learning more. the vampire strength helps and he imagines daniel must feel that too. he'd never had a chance at invincibility when he was human — and he'd witnessed death too many times to be innocent to it.

but as a vampire? he can't always fathom the limits of his strength.

he sits at the table with the other vampire, eyes skimming over various files on the computer, finding himself less interested in the information that was held there, but instead in who had found and collected all of it. ❝ they probably know more about us than we know about us, ❞ he adds, cigarette forgotten and burning away in the ashtray next to him.

❝ what's the worst that could happen? ❞

there's a voice in the back of avery's head that tells her she can comb out her own hair. she's three days post-appendectomy, not dying. and that voice actually isn't in the back, it's more in the middle, but really she's gonna be okay with not listening to it in exchange for getting fed the fanciest broccoli cheddar soup she's ever had in her life while max braids her hair. " well, you're pulling my — ow ! "

Another corpse disposed of, another young man whose family may miss him, but who they expected to disappear like this. Either from drugs or getting picked up by the wrong guy, or, as is the case, both. He's not sure anymore how much Louis scans their minds for someone relatively safe, someone no one waste too much time looking for... That's why he still goes with him, every time. Just to be sure Louis doesn't find the wrong one, to gently guide him in the right direction when it becomes clear that Louis will not be his tonight, yet again.

And when Armand returns to Louis, it is nearly dawn, and Louis has not moved since he left him, staring like he's seeing something that isn't there. Perhaps Louis does not want him anymore, but he still needs him. One day, he tells himself, Louis will look back on this time and realize what Armand did for him, and he will hold him closer, and find a way to make it up to him.