#playbride

um …   only  if  i  can  attempt  to  give  the  same  love  and  warmth  you  provide  by  merely  existing  among  us  but  multiplied  by  infinity ?????    bc  that  is  exactly  what  you  deserve ,   you  absolute  angel  viv  ilusm  pleathe  ma’am  🥺🥺🥺

THE REALM BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH  .        it’s a curious place  ,     unfathomable to those still bound to earth and a beating heart  .         less a crowded space of lost souls    seeking for their meaning  ,     the unfinished business that keeps them from crossing over  .         there isn’t a lot of company to begin with  ,     it’s a lonely place  .        it reminds daniel of home  .        nobody to see you  ,     talk to you                 touch you  .        touching  ,  yeah  ,      oh he misses being touched  .        not longing for a tender embrace  ,     but the mere sensation of warmth from another body colliding against his  ,     eradicating this frustrating feeling of endless numbness  .        occasionally it makes him wonder  :     did he end up being   senselessly drunk   in the afterlife  ?

maybe that’s why grace starts asking questions  .         where do you go when you’re not here  ?         what do you do when i’m not here  ?        maybe his disheveled self had caused her to pause and wonder what his existence really meant  .        truthfully  ,     he has no idea  .          it’s a series of moments happening on the big screen  ,     but as soon as you turn it off               he’s gone  .         daniel doesn’t know where he goes  ,     if he goes or simply loses consciousness  .        (  can ghosts pass out  ?  )          he will wander around her place some nights  ,     sit on her bedside when she wakes from frightening dreams  .        sometimes she shouts his name    and he feels himself threatening to vanish into thin air  .        grace’s night terrors are violent  ,     leaving her shaking and crying with fear  .         he can’t do much except for being there  .

he wants to reach out and pull her into his arms  ,     not remain useless and see - through when hand comes to take his  .        in some ways  ,     he thinks  ,     being dead is not much different for him than being alive  .

❝     it wasn’t something on my mind  .     ❞         a blatant lie  ,     swinging legs on kitchen counter just a meek distraction from the frown adorning his features  .         he likes to avoid the questions  ,     likes to pretend he isn’t some weird entity in grace’s life that disappears and suddenly re - appears in the middle of the living room as she turns on the tv  .         dead or alive                 denial has always been daniel’s specialty  .          ❝     it’s kind of like pressing a switch  .         all the lights go out and then  .         that’s it  .         nothing  .         until you come home or i feel like annoying you  .     ❞        spoken with a true le domas smile  ,     albeit he keeps the truth to himself  .        until something bad is happening to you  ,     when you need someone  .        i’m here then  ,     i’m always here  .

‘     so . . .       i  mean ,       do  you  inherit  anything  ?     ’          it’s  a  rather  insensitive  way  of  expressing  condolences ,       but  he’s  genuinely  curious .

   shuffling  around ,    sluggish  yet  urgent  all  at  once ,    precise  timings  escaping  her  consciousness ,    but  familiar  enough  with  the  routine  of  the  initial  forty  minutes  or  so  of  the  evening’s  festivities  as  that  was  the  most  reliable  window ,    grace  hazarded  that  it  was  around   00 :  28 .     meaning ,    she  surely  had  opportunity  to  rest  for  a  few  blissful  minutes  in  the  servants  corridor .     wistful  guesstimation  reveals  itself  to  be  out  by  a  few  minutes  as  she  turned  the  handle  with  an  air  of  almost lacsidaisical  habituality  about  her ,   stifling  a  yawn  and  allowing  heavy  eyelids  to  droop  minutely  as  she  stepped  over  the  threshold ,    entering  to  the  right .     only  to  catch  the  sight  of  an  unknown  figure  heading  toward  the  left  door .     one  her  brain  cannot  initially  process  but  her  stomach  already  lurches  instinctively ,    goosebumps  prickling  upon  arms  and  flushed  neck .     frazzled  mind  picks  up  details  on  a  delay  :    styled  blonde  hair ,    ripped  lace ,    conflicted  posture ,    those  poorly  chosen  heathens . ❝       wouldn’t  use  that  door ,    if  i  was  you . . .      ❞         a  mouth  that  can  operate  without  appropriate  brain  function  could  be  a  blessing  ,    ❝       take  my  word  for  it  :     doesn’t  end  well .      ❞

                       looks  like  hide   &   seek  just  turned  into  a  game  of  copycat .

SLEEP HAD NEVER COME EASILY TO DANIEL  .        even as a child  ,     nightmares would plague him into staying awake  .         gruesome faces and distorted voices  ,     echoing in the dark  .        calling his name  .         he got older  ,     features worn and tired  ,     but they never changed  .         spectres cry louder with flames licking at their souls  ,     the painful confusion why he isn’t with them  .        don’t go ,     daniel  ,     don’t go  .         there is light falling into the hallway from the kitchen  ,     faint yet blinding against the seemingly endless dark surrounding him  .         inside he finds grace  .        he always does  ,     sometimes she finds him  .         ❝     hey  .     ❞         it’s easier to be lost without sleep together  .

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN  ?         daniel wants to ask  ,     but he cannot speak in the dream  .         there is something sad about the voice coming from the vast nothingness he finds himself in  ,     floating and merely existing in a dark space  ,    the where and when of no importance .         it is a pleading request  ,     a prayer  ,     and he feels the odd sensation of amusement in his core  ;     that bitter irony tugging at him to not let him forget  .         forget what  ?         the dream is strange  .         you have to live  .        how is he meant to do that  ?         if only they could tell him where he is and how to speak to them  ,     his lips seem glued shut  ,     body too heavy when it was just floating  .         something is off  .         something isn’t right  .         how did i get here  ?

there  ,  a light coming closer  .         it’s death  !         daniel thinks with what appears to be an unsettling mixture of relief and hysteria  .         i’m dying  !         something heavy presses down on him  ,     makes it hard to breathe                 perhaps he has held his breath all that time already  .         you have to live  .         what was once but a little speck in the distance  ,     is now engulfing him whole  .         a wave of light pulling at his arms and legs  ,     and when he finally opens his eyes  ,     the blinding brightness of white walls causing him to wince and squint  ,     he wonders briefly if this is heaven  .         then  ,  a figure comes into focus  ,     blurry vision slowly revealing unexpected ghost  .         he feels like blood should stop him from drawing in a breath  ,     (  he remembers drowning drowning drowning  )     chapped lips barely moving as hoarse voice manages one frail sound  .

                               ❝     grace  .     ❞

cut to a few weeks later, where he's got a meeting arranged with the last standing le domas.  ❛  thank you for havin' me, mrs  –––  would you prefer it if i called you grace or mrs. le domas?  ❜  he asked that question for her comfort now, because he knew that once the several other questions he had in store started, she would not feel so very comfortable anymore.