Who’s more dominant: It’s an endless struggle. They’re constantly fighting for dominance in the relationship–sometimes Lucius wins out, sometimes Narcissa. But the throne switches occupants constantly.

Who’s the cuddler: Lucius, secretly. Mostly after sex or in the morning before they’re fully awake. Cuddling is instinctive, not intentional. They aren’t open enough about intimacy to allow it purposefully.

Who’s the talkative person: Narcissa, who isn’t comfortable sitting in silence with Lucius unless she’s doing it to make a point.

What’s their favorite activity: Anything that involves sex, and activities surrounding the act. Their inability to discuss emotions and the problems in their relationship causes repression, which adds more tension to the sexual variety they’re already experiencing. The gas is always on, just waiting for the smallest spark to ignite them.

Who uses all the hot water: Neither would endure a cold shower.

Thing(s) they fight over: Better question would be “things they don’t fight over.” The peacocks. The drapes. Her parents. His father. Her sister(s). Tom Riddle. The Death Eaters. Children. Alecto. Pregnancy. Wiltshire. The Manor. Her flat in London. Alecto again. The majority of their arguments end in sex.

Who does most of the cleaning: Nobody. They have servants for that. 

Who sleeps while watching horror movies: They don’t. Lucius has seen enough horror; he doesn’t need more.

Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Narcissa complains that it’s cold to her husband; he lights a fire.

Who’s the reckless and destroys things: Lucius has a significant temper. He’s destroyed part of the garden twice, and whenever something bad happens Narcissa can trace his path by following the damage.

Who does grocery shopping: They’re too rich to need to go grocery shopping.

Who remembers anniversaries: Both of them, though they tend to pretend not to.

Who cooks normally: The food appears on their table when they’re hungry.

How often do they fight: Often. Daily. Sometimes more than once per day. Most of their conversations are fights of some magnitude. Sometimes they pick fights as foreplay.

What do they do after fight: Each other.

Nicknames for each other: “Flower,” for Narcissa, who is bitter about being named for one and not in the same convention as the rest of her family. “Luce,” “darling,” and “Master Malfoy” for Lucius, mostly used to irritate him.

Who is more likely to pay for dinner: Lucius is, essentially, King Midas.

Who kissed who first: Lucius kissed her first at their engagement party.

Who made the first move: Narcissa flirted a bit when they were in school and at parties.

Who remembers things: Both of them remember everything, but Lucius is better at details.

Who started the relationship: Their parents, who were drawing up contracts before they’d had time to discuss anything.

Who curses more: Narcissa right before Lucius renders her completely wordless

A head canon: The engagement ring Narcissa wears was Lucius’ mother’s ring; it’s tradition for the wife of the firstborn to inherit the family engagement ring, often from the most recently deceased female in the paternal line (Lucius’ mother, in this case). However, the wedding band is traditionally picked out, either new or from the family heirlooms, by the groom. Lucius purchased a band to match the engagement ring, but instead of choosing traditional diamonds, he outfitted it with white sapphires. They were rebellious enough without inviting disapproval, since they resembled diamonds to the untrained eye. But sapphires were a stone associated with blue, which reminded him of Narcissa’s eyes.

When he was a few paces away, Lucius stopped, trying so hard to keep his face expressionless (so she couldn’t see how much he was trying to acknowledge the fact that he had written such emotion, that he had such capacity for it, and now that everyone knew). But Lucius could feel the facade cracking, piece by piece falling to the floor at their feet, the tightness of his lips turning soft, the hard line of his brow relaxing.

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She took longer than usual returning home that day. Lucius’ returns from his various business trips were not always on schedule, but Narcissa always made sure she knew within the hour that Lucius was home. She gave him three hours to settle in, then made her way back to carelessly feign disinterest that her husband had deigned to grace the Manor with his presence once more.

The Ministry had claimed to have the virus under control right before the worst of it began. Since the leak of her pictures, Narcissa had been hiding out in her London flat, avoiding everyone, even Alecto (whose texts had been illegible the past few days). She ignored the alert on her phone that hailed Lucius’ return and grabbed another bottle of wine, responding only flippantly to messages from family members and ignoring friends. In truth, she had no idea how to handle this scandal--it was a blessing that so many other scandals had been released simultaneously, giving hers less weight.

Malfoy Manor was only worth living in when Lucius was around. His temper, though, was not something she often wanted to run into, especially when triggered by her own actions. Narcissa was careful, always careful--nothing to trace back to her, nothing to give Lucius or her parents any reason to chastise her. But with her lingerie-clad arse strutting through everyone’s Saturnalia accounts, Narcissa could only avoid this for so long.