#pjo hephaestus

Hermes, reading from a cue card: What's something you mother has said that changed your brain brain chemstry? Oohh, ok, some motherly wisdom, Ares, you go first.

Ares,: Just because you could, doesn't mean you should?

Hermes: That's a good, not sure if you follow it, but it's good advice

Ares: Fuck you

Hermes: You wish. Hephaestus, we're skipping you because it's gonna be depressing—

Hephaestus, sigh of relief: Thank fuck

Hermes: —Apollo?

Apollo: Well, my mother has imparted with plenty of wisdom over the years, but I'd say that what has impacted me the most was her saying that dreams are only unrealistic if you don't have what it takes to make them come true.

Hermes, nodding: Wise auntie, you should still give up on our cousin though,—*Dodges Apollo's sandal* Touchy, I see, and speaking of our most beautiful cousin, Dionysus, what has your mother said that changed your brain chemstry?

Dionysus: Has it be something she said to me or that I overheard saying someone else?

Hermes, thinking then shrugs: Can be both.

Dionysus, takes a gulp of his wine: If it's something she said to me then it'd be "If you're in a situation where someone's mom is going to cry over what happened to their child, make sure it's the other's mom crying"

Hermes, laughs: I did not expect anything else from Lady Aphrodities herself. Now, what's the other one?

Dionysus: While you're here crying over him, he's out there helping someone else put it back in after it slipped out

Hermes:...

Potentially even if Perse wouldn’t want to, to reduce the chaos or just not wanting to be involved

If she’s married to Zeus she’d be THE QUEEN and it might look bad if she doesn’t try to fight for the title even though objectively it would be Aphrodite.

Hephaestus forcefully injects himself into that myth to argue on her behalf because he loves his mum. Ares does too, but he's married to Aphrodite, so it's a conflict of interest. This makes for a rather amusing encounter for Paris.

Athena: Pick me, I will give you wisdom and skill in war.

Hera: No, pick me, I will make you king of Europe and Asia.

Aphrodite: They're both wrong. You should pick me, I'll give you the most beautiful bride in Greece.

Paris: Um, okay *sees Hephaestus beside the trio* and what about you?

Hephaestus: Pick my mother, I will craft you a huge bronze robot that you can pilot around.

Paris: Hmm...

Every modern reader: Dude, it's a magical fucking Gundam suit! Pick the Gundam suit!

Paris: I choose Aphrodite.

Every modern reader: This idiot...

Hades is a grumpy napper(wake Hades up prematurely and you were likely to end up as a nuclear-blast shadow on his wall.)

Athena always wins scrabble(once she played abaxial on a triple, and Zeus lightning-bolted of the top of Mount Parnassus in his rage)

Hephaestus and Ares caused Three-Mile Island with a chainsaw fight(Ares insulted Hephaestus' bell bottom pants)

Demeter once cursed him so that every clothing he put on would immediately sprout(He told her "They're just seeds!")

Dionysus insists on keeping old casks of wine in his cellar that have long turned to vinegar

The Greek gods are truly strange

edit: parts(2)(3)(4)

Also I think it's funnier if the other cabins (especially year-rounders) pull up to the hephaestus cabin like

"... can you go grab your laptop."

"I'm not going to play wordle for you."

"That is NOT what this is about!"

"What's it about then?"

"... wordle. PLEASE you're the only one who can use tech without dying."

"I don't want to play telephone between you and new York times. You can subscribe to the physical newspaper if it matters that much to you."

so i guess this is really more of a 'this is why i love the gods so much' rather than my usual 'this is why i love ToA' post lmao

but fr, the gods are just sooooo much more fleshed out in ToA. they're more complex, and have these layers to them that pjo and hoo just Did Not convey (and really, only conveyed those things post publication of ToA, which came with the tools on how to decode the gods and read between the lines).

and i'm not even talking about Apollo here. he is by far the most fleshed out god we have because he's the pov character, but i also mean all 12 of the other olympians - they're just so juicy!!

like okay, sure, in pjo and hoo we get glimpses that Dionysus may care more than he lets on, but ToA CONFIRMS this, but not in an 'in your face' way - but in the 'Dionysus picks at Apollo like a little brother would' way, and in that FIRST interaction between Apollo and Dionysus, we can SEE what their relationship was like!!

Hermes is another VERY layered god, ESPECIALLY with pjo's context. but that context ONLY gains its own importance BECAUSE of the story ToA gives us - we would NOT have 'resigned to fate' Hermes without it. or embittered at his favorite brother Hermes. we love this Hermes eheheheheheheh

Artemis also gains more character, and is no longer just the stoic cool badass #Girlboss she's largely presented as - she's scared, she fears for Apollo, so much so she SPLITS. she comes RUNNING to help him in TTT as soon as she could, giving her a softer side, while simultaneously expands on her previous appearances and allowing us to see how she is unconsciously enabling the abuse Apollo's experienced. LAYERS !! !! !!

DEMETER. OOOHHH DEMETER ILY, IN MYTHOLOGY AND THE RRVERSE. BUT FOR COMPLETELY DIFFERENT REASONS LMAO

we can infer Demeter has basically shot herself in the foot by obsessing so much over Persephone, where she NEGLETS her other kids (ex: Lityerses, Meg). myth Demeter would NEVER but rrverse Demeter is still a fav BECAUSE of how flawed she is.

ARESSSSS do i even need to say anything. we KNOW Ares and Apollo are bros because of how often Apollo takes pot-shots at him in his dialogue LMAO true brother behavior

Hades is a chill uncle with Apollo in particular. i mean. *gestures* he used to purposefully mess up Apollo's aim when shooting for no reason. need i say more?

looking back i'm also a little intrigued by how little Poseidon was mentioned - perhaps lending credence to the idea that he and Apollo grew apart over the centuries?

also Hestia's position as the goddess of the hearth and home calls into question how passive she is on olympus BECAUSE of the shitshow it's become!! she defends it!! what has caused the hearth and home, the FIRSTBORN OF KRONOS, of the ENTIRE PANTHEON to be so stagnant in the face of this toxic cycle? the people want to know and so do i.

Hephaestus is trickier to pin down for me because he has little mention, but there's one SPECIFIC one that has stuck in my brain and its the "apollo missed an entire decade watching Hephaestus's newton's cradle INSIDE HIS OFFICE"

what was apollo doing in his office. and why did hephaestus - notorious introvert - let him stay in there. these are the questions we are all dying to know.

ATHENAAAAAAA !! !! !! !! !! that nod she gives apollo at the end. her bet on his SUCCESS. need i say more? she's bros with him trust <3 add in the mythology and it gets SPICY

Aphrodite is arguably a tricky one to pin down too, and honestly we as a fandom have probably taken more from the mythos to pin down her character than with the others, but she's sooooo interesting too!! the eldest olympian. powerful goddess. extremely cunning and ruthless. and yet she's seen as airheaded and vain by practically everyone.

makes you wonder who else is like that. *quick glance at our favorite god* i dunno who that could be. *whistles innocently*

and do i need to say anything about Zeus? about the tragedy of him falling into the cycle he was meant to break? ABOUT THE TRAGEDY OF HOW HE DEF WANTED TO BE A FATHER BUT HIS PARANOIA GOT THE BETTER OF HIM UNTIL HE NO LONGER WAS ONE??

*seizes you by the shoulders* HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS. HOW.

and ofc. one of my FAVORITE gods...Hera. oh, ho ho Hera. you do NOT deserve the hate you get <3 okay maybe a bit of irritation is warranted because you do pull off risky things in hoo but we stan a goddess who takes charge in this house.

YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME SHE'S GONNA BE - well, nicer? is that the right word? - BETTER WITH APOLLO POST-TOA. AFTER SEEING EVERYTHING HE SUFFERED? AFTER SEEING HIM SHED THE MASK? AFTER JASON GRACE?