Just a short post to kind of vent about a few different things.
My grandfather passed away a little over a week ago, so that has been weighing heavily on my mind. Sarah and I made the two-hour drive (with our pets) for the visitation and funeral, staying two nights with my parents. At least our pug was happy to see us. He still lives with the parentals since we can only have two pets at our current apartment, which are the squirrel and cat. The whole mess was a sad affair that I tried to zone out of for the most part. I shut down. I focused on getting people things and helping out and just doing what I could to make it easier on my mom - and, by proxy, my grandmother and older sister. Sarah was such a huge help, both in comforting me and helping my family. Seriously, I am so lucky to have her in my life. She went above and beyond the call of duty.
Mourning aside, I’m feeling very overwhelmed by school and work. I’m behind on hours, which is going to be a bitch to catch up on. It doesn’t help that my boss is an avid Trump supporter and basically a rape apologist. I had a paper that I procrastinated on, which got thrown sloppily together late last night so I could turn it in this morning. Class registration for next semester is next week. I have another paper due Friday night. We’re going to Cincinnati to see Sarah’s family on Saturday for a day trip. I just hope Sunday’s a rest day, and that I keep my sanity until then.
And, I’m just sad. Sad because my grandfather died. Sad because other lesbian couples we know have a baby/are pregnant. I want to expand our family, and logically I know that right now we can’t afford it but God do I want to. I want to carry a baby that has Sarah’s eyes and her quirky smile. I want to give her the family she deserves. I just want us to have a child together. I jokingly say I’m “baby hungry”, but it hurts to see other couples going forward with their families while we have to wait. That’s whining on my part.
This was not as short as I intended...