#pirate phan

His own head throbbing brought woke him up. He slowly opened his eyes, groaning in pain. His throat burned and felt as dry as a desert.

“Dan?”

Dan weakly looked around, searching for the source of the voice. He found Phil standing at the end of the bed.

It was strange. Dan didn’t remember having a bed, only Phil did.

He tried to sit up, to find out exactly where he was, however the moment he tried to move his head protested and he was hit with nausea. Phil moved forward and gently laid him back, his head propped up by some pillows.

“Don’t move, you’ll worsen it,” Phil whispered.

Dan blinked slowly. It was hard to think, hard to focus on the words. He could see Phil’s mouth moving, but the words sounded gibberish to him.

“Huh?”

Phil sighed and sat down next to Dan’s body. “You have a concussion,” he spoke slowly, “from falling on the deck.”

Dan frowned. “How long was I out?”

“An hour or so. You threw up before you passed out as well. You really scared me, Dan.”

Dan stared at Phil. He felt guilty and embarrassed, doing something so reckless for Phil’s attention.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” Dan whispered.

Phil was shocked, to say the least. He’d never heard Dan apologize before, let alone admit that he was wrong. Yet now he had done both of those things. It must have been the concussion.

“It’s alright, just please, don’t do that again.”

Dan hummed, letting his eyes fall shut. It hurt to simply think and all he wanted to do was go back to sleep.

“Here, drink some water. Your throat must feel awful.” Phil brought a cup to Dan’s lips. Dan drank it eagerly, the coolness relieving the burning sensation in his pain. He ended up drinking the entire cup of water. When he was finished, Phil set the cup aside.

“Where am I?” Dan mumbled.

“My cabin. I brought you here so I could make sure you were okay.”

Dan suddenly panicked. He was in Phil’s bed, invading Phil’s private space. He struggled to sit up and barely managed. The nausea was back in full force. All Dan could do was breath heavily as he struggled to keep the water down.

“Dan, you need to lay down. You’ll only hurt yourself more.”

Dan turned to look at Phil. He was looking at Dan with such concern that it physically hurt, driving a knife into Dan’s chest.

“I don’t want you hurt more than you already are.”

Dan could feel his wall, the barrier built after months of mourning silently while trying to survive, chipping away. It hurt to breathe, to look at Phil and see the genuine care. After all that Dan had done, Phil had gone out of his way to care for him.

“Why?” Dan choked out, a lump in his throat distorting his words. “Why are you caring for me, why are you sacrificing your own space for me?”

Phil stared at Dan as if Dan had said that the sky was blue. “Because even if you annoy me, you still deserve to be treated with kindness. You’re more than bad pick up lines and a scavenger.”

Dan blamed the concussion for the tears beginning to form in his eyes. No, no this was bad. He was Dan Howell, the pirate who had ran away from his crew rather than warning them what was to come. The pirate who lied to his captain that final night, lied about protecting the map when instead he stole it. He didn’t deserve kindness, not after what he had done to his past crew, the crew that was his family.

“Dan,” Phil gasped, seeing the tears slipping out of Dan’s eyes. Before Dan could fight him off, Phil had pulled Dan into a hug. He cradled Dan to his chest, gripping onto him to keep him from breaking.

Everything that Dan had been fighting against came crashing down. For the first time since that fateful night, Dan cried. He cried loudly and heavily, months of misery and regret suffocating him.

Dan had never felt so much pain. His head pounded with each sob, his chest ached from the emotional weight, and his body felt so weak and pathetic. He let himself be held by Phil, giving up on any barriers.

Phil rubbed his back, letting Dan cry on him. He could feel Dan shaking from the force of it, making his own heart break. He could have never expected this from Dan, the same man who had been tormenting him for weeks. Where was all this coming from?

Dan cried until no more tears would come. He was left hiccuping and exhausted even more than before.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, curling further into Phil’s chest, desperate for comfort.

“It’s okay, Dan,” Phil said, desperate to comfort him, “whatever it is, it’s okay.”

Dan sniffed and hiccuped. “It’s not, it’s really not.”

Phil sighed. “I know it feels like that. But whatever the reason, it’s in the pass now. There’s nothing you can do but move forward.”

Dan whimpered, his eyes forcing themselves closed. His mind had become quiet, drained from the concussion and emotional breakdown. All he could focus on was Phil. He could hear him breathing, feel his hands warm against his back. It was his stabilizer, calming him down.

Phil could feel Dan slowly falling asleep against him, yet he didn’t mind. He didn’t have the heart to move; Dan crying had shown Phil how little he actually knew about Dan. Whatever it was that had caused Dan to break down so harshly, Phil wanted to help Dan with it.

Once Phil knew Dan was asleep, his breathing slow and steady in contrast to earlier, he carefully laid Dan down. He tucked Dan back in and stared at the sleeping man. It was the most peaceful Phil had ever seen from Dan.

Phil left Dan to rest with a heavy heart and a multitude of questions about who Dan really was.

-

Dan spent the rest of the day slipping in and out of sleep, the concussion preventing him from doing much other than lying in bed in pain. He was a bit embarrassed over his breakdown and maybe a bit guilty.

All in all, he felt awful.

When night came around, Phil returned to the cabin with a plate of food for Dan. He silently helped Dan sit up then sat on the other side of the bed.

Dan nibbled at the food, his appetite struggling due to the nausea. It had gotten slightly better with sleep, but Dan didn’t want to risk it.

“Still feeling nauseous?”

“A bit.” He ate another small bite before he gave up, leaning back and closing his eyes.

Phil took his plate and put it on the bedside table, hoping Dan would eat more later.

Phil looked over at Dan. He looked so much different than what Phil had previously seen him as. Before, Dan looked like a cold hearted thief, his eyes cold and face coiling into a smirk whenever Phil yelled at him.

Now, he was laying in Phil’s bed, weak and in pain. Phil had seen him crying and even held him. It was such a dramatic change; Phil didn’t know how to react.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Phil started, the memories of Dan breaking down haunting him.

Dan didn’t want to talk about it. He’d repressed everything for so long, he didn’t know how to talk about it. Where would he even begin?

“I don’t know,” he settled with, not bothering to open his eyes.

Phil sighed. “Did something happen? Something really bad?”

Dan could feel the memories resurfacing, but this time, he didn’t shove them away. “Yes.”

“And you feel responsible for it.”

Dan opened his eyes, looking over at Phil. Phil stared back at him, his eyes soft and caring.

“It is,” Dan whispered. “I left them, wanting to preserve my own self. I knew that they were sailing to their deaths, yet I didn’t try to save them. I only thought about myself. I only wanted to save myself.”

He sighed, rolling his head away from Phil. He didn’t want to see the pity in Phil’s eyes. “I’m not a good person, Phil. I spent months living on the streets, the fear of death being the only thing keeping me alive. I stole for myself, never for anyone else on the streets. And my crew, they were my family, but I spent months trying to forget them cause I was too cowardly to face the truth.” Dan could hear his voice break and he let out a shaky breath, not wanting to breakdown on Phil all over again.

Phil softly touched Dan’s shoulder, making him turn to Phil. “I don’t think you’re a bad person. You were only trying to live. And there’s nothing you can do now but to learn from what you did. It doesn’t have to be who you are anymore.”

For the first time since Phil had met him, Dan smiled. It was small, but it was progress.

“Thank you.” Dan felt lighter, the pain being replaced with a fuzzy happiness he hadn’t experienced in a long time.

Phil smiled back. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here. I know we didn’t exactly get off to a good start, but to be fair you were stealing our food supplies.”

Dan snorted, his smile growing wider. “Okay, you have a point.”

Phil felt giddy, seeing Dan smile. It was contagious and adorable. And the dimples, they were dangerous for the heart. “Let’s try this again, but as friends. No imprisonment, no bargaining for freedom.”

Dan couldn’t have come up with a better idea. “So, friends now?”

Phil nodded. “Friends.”

-

It really was like they had started over.

Dan remained in Phil’s cabin as he recovered, bedridden by the concussion. It quickly got boring; staring at the ceiling wasn’t exactly a thrilling pastime but more of a form of punishment.

Thankfully, there was Phil.

He sacrificed time with his crew to hang out with Dan and exchange stories about their adventures out on the seas. It helped, Dan found, with moving on from the past. Remembering all the things he did with his old crew was bittersweet and if he needed to cry, he knew Phil wouldn’t judge him.

And he did cry twice. Both times, Phil held him close.

The first time he saw Phil cry was when he told Dan about the day he left to become a pirate. He had to leave; he had an arranged marriage with a girl and a boring job that made him miserable. The seas called for him and he finally listened to their call.

Even if it meant leaving his mother and older brother behind. There wasn’t a day that went by that Phil didn’t think of them.

Of course, all of this happened without the rest of the crew’s knowledge.

Dan slowly but surely recovered and quickly volunteered to help Phil out around the ship, motivated by a new desire to spend all his time with Phil.

It was the shock of everyone when they saw Dan and Phil laughing together. Last that they remembered, Phil spent most of his time yelling at Dan. Not laughing.

Some even started speculating about whether or not they had hooked up. They never let these rumors reach Dan or Phil.

Dan leaned against the railing, standing at the front of the ship with Phil. The sun was setting in front of them, turning the ocean a mixture of orange and yellows. The rest of the crew had gone beneath deck for dinner, but Dan had gotten lost in the view with Phil.

“I’ll never get over the view when the sun sets,” Dan stated, staring wishfully at the colors that blend together in a beautiful display.

Phil hummed in agreement. “I used to watch it everyday when I first became a pirate.”

Dan smiled, glancing over at Phil. He was glowing in the sunset light, his skin soft in the light and hair windblown from the ocean breeze. His chest gave a funny squeeze, but Dan ignored it and continued to stare at Phil.

They stood there in silence, Phil staring at the sunset and Dan staring at Phil. The memory of the map had been nagging at the back of Dan’s mind for a while now. He cared for Phil and didn’t want him to suffer the fate that awaited.

“Phil?” Dan whispered, suddenly overcome with the need to tell him.

Phil turned to him, his blue eyes intense and making Dan’s heart speed up. “What is it?”

Dan sighed and looked down at the deck. “Promise you won’t get mad at me.”

Phil frowned, suddenly concerned. “Why would I be mad?”

Dan shifted nervously. “I, well, I haven’t been completely honest.”

“What is it?”

Dan looked back up at Phil. “The map, the Isle of Riches. I’ve tried sailing there before. I almost made it.” He paused, hesitant to bring it up. There was no going back now, however. “But the isle, it’s not meant to be reached by a whole crew. A ship like this would be torn up from how shallow the water is and how unstable the tides are. I would know; my old crew tried to make it through, but I knew we couldn’t do it. I left before they went in and they never returned.”

Dan watched as Phil thought this through, his face neutral. He opened his mouth to apologize, however Phil beat him to speaking.

“We’ll send a couple small boats in, then. We can stop by a port and buy some. It’s an easy solution.” Phil smiled at Dan. “That’s not too bad, why would I be angry over that?”

Dan shrugged. “I could have told you sooner.”

“You could have, but there wouldn’t have been much of a difference. There’s still a week’s worth of sailing left before we hit the last port outside of the Isle. We have plenty of time still.”

Dan practically melted with relief, tension rolling off his shoulders. “Okay, good.”

Phil giggled. “You’re such a worrier, Dan.”

Dan didn’t argue with that; he did have a tendency to overthink things.

They slipped back into silence, Dan staring back out at the horizon. Phil moved so he was closer to Dan.

“Is it weird that I’m kind of glad you got that concussion?” Phil breathed, barely loud enough for Dan to hear.

The confession rang loudly in Dan’s head, echoing throughout every part of him. “Why?”

Phil turned to him. “I would have never gotten to known you if you hadn’t gotten injured.”

Dan stared, Phil’s eyes so close to his own. And suddenly Dan was drowning, the blue flooding his lungs and suffocating his heartbeat. He let out a shaky breath. The distance between them was too close yet at the same time, too far.

“So am I.”

The world turned fuzzy around them, the sun burning Dan’s skin almost as much as Phil’s gaze. Dan couldn’t move, hypnotized by the waves in Phil’s eyes.

He could move forward and listen to his heart; he could listen to what it wanted.

But he wasn’t sure if he even wanted that yet.

Luckily, it seemed Phil was in the same position. “We should head down for dinner before all the food is gone.”

Dan nodded, a bit too stiff to be normal. “Y-yeah, we should.” He gulped, the intensity of Phil’s eyes having frozen him in place. “I’ll be down there soon, once the sun goes down. Save some food for me?”

Phil smiled softly. “Of course.”

Dan listened to Phil walk away, the sound of his footsteps growing fainter until they were lost beneath the crashing waves. Dan closed his eyes, letting his head hang.

It seemed like yesterday that they were fighting and now they were inseparable. There was only one thing that hadn’t changed.

The blue of Phil’s eyes had always been there whenever he closed his eyes.

-

The week past within the blink of the eye like most of time tended to do.

Dan could feel the nerves building up, anxious about revisiting the area that held so many traumatic memories for him. He found himself back on the deck at the sunset, letting himself get lost in thought. Sometimes Phil would join him, standing quietly next to him. His presence was enough to relax Dan.

Soon, land was spotted, and the crew was preparing to land. Dan’s hands were shaking from the excitement, yet he knew that this was the last stop. The last place before they would be departing in small groups towards the island, battling against impossible waters.

“You doing okay?” Phil asked him as they were approaching the land.

Dan sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know, honestly.”

Phil nodded in understanding. “Tonight the crew is going down to the bar to unwind in typical pirate fashion. Do you want to come with?”

Dan grinned, knowing what exactly Phil meant. “Of course.”

Phil gathered the crew around and gave out the tasks, the promise of drinks at the end of the day motivating everyone. Dan volunteered to help Phil find some smaller boats to borrow or purchase.

They boarded easily at the port, which was relatively empty. The port was a bit more north than most pirates or sailors sailed. It was in rather good condition, the boards of the deck looking clean instead of rotting. They didn’t creak under Dan’s footsteps.

The port town was nestled in between two green mountains that loomed over them. It wasn’t a very busy town but well kept, lacking any signs of age or damage from weather.

The crew mingled in with the small crowd that was out on the street, Dan staying close to Phil’s side. The people of the town were friendly, though that was most likely because they didn’t get much traffic. They didn’t know the stress of a street pressed shoulder to shoulder with people.

They managed to find someone who was almost suspiciously eager to let them borrow some small boats to find the Isle of Riches.

“Ah yes, the Isle of Riches,” the man murmured, bringing the two down to where his boats were held at. “It’s been months since we’ve seen someone attempt to rich it.”

Dan stiffened.

“No one has thought of taking small boats up there. It’s a good idea, however, I will commemorate you for that.”

The man showed them the boats. They were the perfect size to fit the crew and sail through shallow, rough waters. They paid the man, who gave them an odd look before leaving.

“You really think we can do it?” Dan whispered, more to himself than to Phil.

Phil still heard him anyway. He reached out and squeezed Dan’s hand, sending butterflies through Dan’s stomach. “I know we can.”

Dan smiled at him. He loved the feeling of Phil’s hand against his own, the warmth reassuring and caring.

As the sun set that day, the two found themselves at the local tavern. Other members of the crew were already wasted, having finished up early and headed directly to the bar.

Dan and Phil sat together in a small booth, trying to distance themselves away from the loud buzz of the crowd. They originally had been planning to sit near other crew members, however Phil had saw someone who used to be apart of the crew three years ago and insisted that they moved.

The two sat in relative silence, at least as silent as it gets in a tavern. Dan watched in amusement as people began to dance, putting on their best tipsy dance moves which looked like a cat trying to walk on its hind legs. Thankfully, no one got on top of any tables.

Though that would have been entertaining to see, Dan mused.

Their first round of drinks came, Phil having ordered a couple for the evening.

“It’s to help unwind,” Phil explained, “also, I think they’re gonna have their hands full with the rest of the crew anyways.”

Dan picked up the first drink, a beer presumably. He wasn’t the biggest fan of it, but it would do.

“To finding the Isles of the Riches,” Phil toasted.

Dan rolled his eyes, reluctantly joining in on the toast before bursting into giggles. “That was so cheesy, you’re such a dork.” He tipped the cup of beer back, letting the alcohol enter his system. It had been a long time since he had had alcohol. Would it be so bad if he got wasted?

Phil laughed and took his own drink of his beer. He winced a bit at the taste, but overall it wasn’t bad.

They made their way through the first round of drinks before ordering a second, both a little tipsy and laughing at the way the room was spinning. At some point, Dan had gotten up and moved to Phil’s side of the booth, crowding him against the wall.

“Hi,” Dan greeted, grabbing a shot.

Phil giggled. “Why are you- why are you over here?”

Dan downed the shot and shrugged. “Wanted to be closer to you.”

This only made Phil giggle more, then hiccup loudly. He covered his mouth, cheeks turning red.

Dan gasped, then broke into a fit of laughter. “That was-that was so adorable.”

Phil turned even more read, leaning forward and hiding his face in Dan’s shoulder.

Dan grabbed another drink, sipping it without really tasting it. Everything was feeling fuzzy, the buzz of the rest of the bar making his head spin and the smell of Phil next to him filling his stomach with butterflies.

Phil downed another shot, the collapsed against the wall of the booth. His cheeks were a permanent pink, a lazy smile on his face. Dan couldn’t get his eyes off of him, suddenly overwhelmed. Phil stared back, the smile staying on his face, watching Dan slowly move closer.

In a blink of an eye, Dan had leaned forward and pressed his lips against Phil’s. Everything was on fire. Phil’s hands gripped onto Dan’s hair, kissing him harder with desperation and repressed urges. Dan was pressed fully against Phil.

They were drunkenly making out like every cheesy bar hookup movie. Except they had known each other for months.

They parted for a second, both out of breath, pupils wide with lust. Dan’s hands had moved so they were placed along the hem of his shirt, waiting impatiently to slip under and feel Phil’s skin.

Dan moved forward once again, biting Phil’s bottom lip, enjoying the whine Phil made. He let it go then kissed it as if it to heal it. Phil’s grip on his hair tightened and Dan knew he was fucked.

The waiter walked towards their table, though he quickly changed his mind when he saw the two glued together.

Dan didn’t know when, but his hands had slipped up Phil’s shirts and were roaming excitedly across the warm skin.

Phil shuddered both from the feeling of Dan’s hands on him good and how cold they were. “Dan.”

Dan paused, his lips hovering barely above Phil’s. “Yeah?”

“Let’s go back to the cabin.”

Dan grinned, grabbing Phil’s hand and pulling him eagerly out of the booth. They left without a word (or paying), other members of the crew observing them and gossiping about what was about to happen.

They stumbled down the streets, their coordination tainted with alcohol in them both. It took them much longer than it should have, but eventually they made it to the cabin. Phil slammed the door closed, then turned to Dan.

Dan wasted no time pressing Phil against the door, clumsily attacking Phil’s lips once more. The noises Phil made were worth the slight pain from their teeth clashing.

Dan’s hands moved fast, pulling Phil’s shirt off to gain access without the fabric in the way. Phil repeated the same action with Dan before returning to making out. Phil grabbed Dan’s hips and pushed him backwards, moving him towards the bed.

Phil pushed Dan down, staring at him with blind desire. They shared a silent conversation, both knowing what they wanted.

Dan knew where this going and his drunk brain wanted it, badly. Occasionally his sober brain had wanted it as well, but that was only when he was alone with his thoughts and his hormones.

His body, however, had felt that he had had enough for the day. So while Phil was pulling off his pants, his own brain eager for what was to come, Dan fell asleep. When Phil saw him asleep, mouth wide open and snoring almost comically, he merely pouted.

“Dan,” he whined, but received nothing more than another snore. He giggled. “Sleepy boy.”

Phil laid down next to him, cuddling him as well as his drunk brain would let him. Within seconds, he too had fallen asleep.

-

With morning came regret.

Dan’s stomach felt like he’d gone on one too many roller coasters and his head was violently protesting against the drinks he had the previous night. There was a crick in his neck from sleeping on it wrong. Overall, Dan wanted death.

Dan groaned, squeezing his eyes shut in pain. He tried to move his body, only to end up hitting someone else.

His eyes flew open and he twisted his head, much to the dismay of his neck, to come face to face with Phil’s sleeping face.

Dan was frozen, his cheeks heating up. To make matters worse, they were both shirtless. Fuzzy memories of Phil’s lips made Dan groan once more, embarrassed by how indecent he had acted while drunk.

His groaning caused Phil to stir, his eyelids fluttering open to reveal clouded blue eyes. The squinted in pain, the hangover hitting him just as hard.

Their limbs were bent at awkward angles, the result of a drunk attempt at cuddling. Dan felt sore, sick, and thoroughly embarrassed. He had ruined everything.

“Dan?”

Dan laughed nervously, quietly freaking out. “H-hi.”

Phil stared at him oddly, then rolled away, freeing Dan from his prison. “I don’t feel good.”

Dan could sympathize with that, especially his rolling stomach. “I think we drank too much.”

Phil grunted in reply. “Cuddle me,” he whined, desperate for affection to help soothe the hangover.

Dan stayed quiet, heart pounding too loudly for his own liking. While drunk, he hadn’t been scared about his feelings or worried what they could lead to. However, he wasn’t drunk. He was painfully sober and stuck with thoughts that were overwhelming.

“Actually, I-I think I’m gonna go,” Dan stammered, rising from the bed. His whole body protested, yearning to be cuddled up next to Phil, but his head was too stubborn for it, “I need to, uh, finish preparing for the trip.”

Phil looked at him, his expression unreadable. Dan could feel his own heart aching, but he knew this was for the best. Actually, he didn’t. He didn’t know anything; that was the real reason he was leaving.

The fear of the unknown, of them, was enough to drive Dan away, to make him return to his same cowardly ways.

So before Phil could stop him, Dan had grabbed his shirt and was out the door.

-

Dan walked all the way through town. He walked past the vendors and stores, ignoring any odd looks he received. He was aware that he looked as bad as he felt; greasy curls all over the place, sweaty shirt on his back, and eyes squinting against a migraine.

The town road slowly turned from rock to dirt, leading Dan out into the farmlands that rested beyond the town. The mountains appeared to have grown closer in a way that made Dan feel trapped, and not in a good way.

Somewhere along the road, he stopped, his legs shaking from the adrenaline that had been flowing through him ever since he left. He stumbled to the ground, becoming more and more aware of his body panicking. His heart was pounding in his ears like a drum and his breaths were shortened to where he could hear himself breathing.

It was eerily quiet out in the fields, the only noise coming from the town laughter that echoed off the valley walls. everything had shattered overnight and dan was back to where he started, running off to preserve himself.

Except this time, there was no physical danger threatening him; only his mind. That wasn’t something he could run from and it terrified him more than anything.

His breathing slowed down eventually, though not before his eyes stung in allusion to tears.

He looked back at the town, his whole body aching. If he was to continue on this path of running, this repeating cycle of abuse to his own self, he couldn’t turn back no longer. He needed to get away.

The sun burned his back all day as he walked along the dirt road, his heart sinking more and more with each step. The sun merely served as a reminder of the ship and of the captain who lead it. The same captain who had captured his attention with ocean eyes and a soft heart.

The pain from the thoughts steadily grew unbearable and Dan had to bite his lip multiple times to keep the sobs from ringing out. The walking helped, however, and soon he found himself with a clearer head than he had started the day out with.

For the second time that day, he was hit with regret.

It was too late to turn back now, however, with the sun creeping low in the sky. Instead, he needed to find a place to rest for the evening. Walking off the path, he found a sagging willow tree. The area around its roots was nothing more than dirt that was surprisingly soft under Dan’s feet as if it were a plant that had been well-watered.

Dan leaned against the trunk of the tree and sighed, closing his eyes. His stomach growled with a hunger he hadn’t known for what felt to be a lifetime. He ignored it, instead pulling his legs to his chest and crying for his own stupidity.

-

“Dan? Dan!”

Dan slowly opened his eyes, confused. The sun was hovering below the horizon, dawn’s light kissing everything with a soft glow.

And there was Phil, running up to him.

Dan gasped before Phil collided with him, grabbing his body and holding him close. He smelled of sweat and salt, but Dan didn’t mind. Instead, he felt the tears returning once more as he realized that he hadn’t lost everything, that he hadn’t lost the most important person in his life.

Phil leaned back, his own eyes puffy and swollen. “I thought I had lost you,” Phil whispered, almost as if too much noise would shatter Dan.

“I’m sorry,” Dan croaked, his throat dry and sore, “I’m sorry, I should have stayed, I was going to come back. I ran away from you, I abandoned you.”

Phil pulled him closer, resting his forehead against Dan’s. “You don’t need to runaway, Dan. I want you to stay, I want you to be with me.”

Dan stared at Phil’s eyes. He stared at the blue that had always drowned him, always made his stomach twist with nerves.

“Phil?”

“Yeah?”

Dan swallowed, still staring at the blue. Then he closed his eyes, leaned forward, and let his lips softly brush against Phil’s. It said everything he couldn’t say, with the timidness and gentle way he moved, scared that any moment Phil would pull away and break his heart.

Phil kissed back, more confident, yet nothing of the drunk passion of the previous night. He tasted of the ocean and Dan felt like someone had dropped a warm blanket over him.

Dan broke the kiss, though he didn’t go far. “I want to stay this time. I want to stay with you. I’m tired of running.”

Phil smiled softly. “You don’t need to run from me.” He reconnected their lips, his hands rubbing circles on Dan’s back in a lazy, comforting fashion. Then he gently cradled Dan’s head with his head and pulled him to his chest, almost as to protect Dan or keep him close in fear of losing him again.

They sat in silence, the cool morning breeze chilling them slightly and the birds chirping as they announced their hunt.

“We were supposed to leave for the Isle of Riches yesterday,” Dan recalled.

Phil stroked his hair like a cat, not seeming too concerned about it. “I told the crew to go ahead without me. I had something more important than money to find.”

Dan felt his heart swell and he smiled. “Thank you, for finding me again.”

“Of course.”

Dan knew that it was time to start facing things, instead of running from them in hopes that they’d go away. “Can I ask you favor?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t let me run away ever again.”

Phil laughed, the sound heavenly to Dan. “I know you aren’t going to run away again.”

“But how?”

Phil shrugged. “You said it yourself; you’re done running away from things. And I believe you.”

Dan lifted his head, looking into Phil’s eyes. Beyond their puffiness, there a soft glow, and Dan knew that he was going to be okay. Maybe not now, but one day.