#pingward

Rayray and Fancypants begin dating on the down low in 2003, a bit before Edward’s first summer at Camp Kidney. Susan, Edward’s mom and Fancypants’ stepmother, supports them and tries to shield them, to no avail. Antonio, Ed and Fancypants’ father, throws Fancypants out of the family mansion and denies he ever existed. Fancypants has tons of money of his own to fall back on, and he and Rayray quickly get a Vermont wedding before moving in together.

This is tough for Edward, because Fance was his one stepbrother he liked and who isn’t a monster, (a canon divergence of mine.) On the heels of being forced to cut ties with Fancypants, Edward’s shipped off to Camp Kidney against his will. It’s a while before Edward is reunited with Fancypants and he meets Rayray for the first time. Edward’s also realizing he’s gay, and could really use some listening ears and support before Antonio inevitably finds out and disowns him too. This possibility brings him to the brink of a nervous breakdown, a breakdown he certainly would have had were it not for them having his back.

Ed runs away and moves in with Fancypants and Rayray for a while, and takes a job as Fancy’s new accountant, before going off with Ping Pong.

So who is Rayray?

He’s a very kind, down to earth lizard whose hobbies include tennis, yoga, maintaining his and his husband’s cars, and spoiling Edward (or “Ed-honey,” as Fance calls him) absolutely rotten, even more so than Fancypants.

Rayray always wanted to go to camp as a kid, but his stepmother, a scoutmaster herself, ironically never lets him. Ed’s first big outing with Fancypants and Rayray is a glamping trip, (at Edward’s insistence; Rayray would have rather roughed it,) and they all three have a wonderful time. The trip really helps cement Edward’s trust and fondness of him.

Despite his strength, good looks and financial success, Rayray can have moments of sensitivity and even be a bit delicate. He’s estranged from Denmother Carson, who disowned him too. Rayray misses his now deceased father, who was much more accepting of him when alive than his stepmother. Rayray’s behavior towards Edward can be seen as him paying tribute to his dad, and he often jokes that Edward is his and Fancy’s “boy.”

Dave Loon

—Canonically he’s the more sensitive of the two brothers. Headcanonically I make that difference even starker: Ping Pong is the kind of nerd you simply can’t win against, while Dave falls apart at the mildest pressure. Love that for him.

—In the show, we’ve seen he’s a grandma’s boy and I really really like that because I was too, haha. (She’s getting a blog tag. Nana Loon. I’m sure I’m not done with writing her.) That sort of implies he prefers her over his parents, but I wouldn’t say so. He loves his parents. (Also it’s. Hilarious how Ping Pong knew they came from eggs and Dave didn’t. I consider that another sign of his higher maturity.)

—Dave and Ping Pong are the only scouts who can fly, emphasis on ‘can.’ Dave haaaates flying, it makes him so nervous (but what doesn’t) and he only ever does it when Ping Pong’s flying with him. If not, he’s completely grounded.

—Dave has a huge crush on Lazlo, (who clearly feels in the same way in return, see the episode “The List,” which lives rent-free in my noggin,) and because it’s Dave he’s a huge mess about it. He blushes, he stammers, he shies away, usually hiding behind Ping Pong’s back, the latter of which is a reflex for him in most situations anyway. (Also, because this is a Joe Murray cartoon, in his worst moments Dave will at times spontaneously burst into flames, with no ill effects. No one considers it novel or dangerous. It’s just a thing that happens, like your shoe coming untied.) Ping Pong loves them together, and because he’s a big brother, gives Dave lots of friendly teasing about it.

—Dave’s the younger brother, hatching a few minutes later. Nonetheless, they’re called ‘Dave and Ping Pong’ collectively without variation, presumably to be in alphabetical order.

—Dave’s the more passionate of the two about journalism. That’s not to say Ping Pong doesn’t love it; he really does, but as they mature, Dave’s the one who retains his interest while Ping Pong pursues another avenue: music. But he especially liked it when it gave him something to play at with his little brother. (Dave would gasp at the insinuation this was all just ‘playing.’)

—In my wife💛 and I’s Future Au, which we call “Refried Beans,” Dave and Lazlo marry and set to living year-round in the attic of Scoutmaster Lumpus’ cabin. Dave works for the Prickly Pines newspaper, and Lazlo is now Scoutmaster’s Assistant, while Slinkman is now Scoutmaster. Lumpus is retired but still lives in the cabin too, and they’re all joined by Jane, and her presence is the only thing keeping Lumpus from going axe-murderer at the fact he’ll never, ever escape Lazlo.

Ping Pong

—As I’ve said, his real name in my headcanon is Bruce. This is hardly ever used. There’s a reason he became Ping Pong but I’ve yet to decide why.

—Ping Pong is the more mature of the two canonically. Headcanonically he’s unstoppably stable and unflappable. You can’t bully him and get anywhere without him turning your namecalling back on yourself and more cleverly. You can’t beat him in a fight. You can only make him feel endangered after everyone else in the room feels endangered first. This first came about out of necessity to toughen up to defend Dave, and it then became further ingrained because Ping Pong’s the biggest smart alec in the Western Hemisphere and he gets a kick out of being able to sort you out while reading his book at the same time. He’s like if Yakko Warner had feathers and legit booksmarts on top. (What a powerful creature.)

—In the “Radio Free Edward” episode, we get a passing line that he intends to play classic rock for the camp’s radio station. I’ve decided to run with this and say classic rock’s his passion and true calling. He becomes a legit star in short order by his late twenties in my au and it just never goes away. If I had to describe his singing voice, (and you’d never expect him to have it, and I find that hilarious,) it’s like Bruce Springsteen, Angus Young, Rod Stewart, Rick Springfield and Freddie Mercury all had their vocal chords fused in a laboratory. It’s insane.

—I think it was “Beans are from Mars” where the show erroneously calls Dave, Ping Pong and Edward cabinmates? I’m gonna do a Bob Ross, call that a happy accident and say it was true… for like two weeks. But what a formative two weeks. Edward I guess had had enough of the Dungs and demanded new cabinmates. So he went with the Loons and because Samson’s unlucky, he went with the Dungs. (I think he and the Dungs get called cabinmates that episode too.) It was during those two weeks Edward decided he’s head over heels for Ping Pong, (but he won’t admit it, being Edward.) Ping Pong is completely wise to this, not that Edward knows, and really likes toying with him. And mercilessly snarking and outwitting him. Then he starts crushing too. (I like to think their little picnic with Dave in “Snake Eyes” was basically a first date.) Then of course they switch back to their usual cabinmates, but there’s been a sea change where they’re no longer just two guys who like talking smack to each other. And by the time of Refried Beans, (basically the present,) they’ve also gotten married. I’ll save the details on that for now. It’s a doozy.

Both

—They’re from Canada originally but moved with their family, including Nana Loon, to Southern New York or Connecticut at a very young age. They’re both also fluent in French. At camp, they like to tease Edward by pretending to talk about him in French, which he doesn’t understand, when they’re actually discussing the weather or licorice ropes. (Later on, Edward likes when Ping Pong speaks French. Like, embarrassingly melting like butter on a freshly baked baguette. Ping Pong finds it funny. But what about Edward doesn’t he find funny, I ask you.)