#phoebella

I hope you like chaotic dinner parties and spilt soup...

Doubled Every Joy (44333 words) by SibellasArchive Chapter 10: Dinner with the Rathbones Fandom: A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder - Lutvak/Freedman

@zelds-spellman @songstresstinyteacup @isingonly4myangel

This is for you guys <3

(I was watching a bootleg during my break between classes today and the wlw undertones of Sibella and Phoebe meeting at Highhurst OMG. And the way they look at each other after That Horrible Woman!!! I felt very inspired.)

“If you’ll excuse us for a moment, ladies, I need to speak to the countess.” Sibella grabbed Phoebe’s wrist and dragged her into the hall, making sure the door was properly closed behind them. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She felt flushed. Why was she like this?

“What is it, darling?”

Sibella sighed and let go of her wrist, praying that her face wasn’t beet red from Phoebe calling her ‘darling’. “Please stop.”

Phoebe’s brows furrowed. “Stop what?” she asked innocently.

“The flirting, the touching, when you look at me like that I—” Overwhelmed and embarrassed, Sibella struggled to get out the words as she tried to keep her voice down. It was too much. One fleeting touch or unintentional innuendo she could easily deal with. But Phoebe looked too beautiful in her new tea gown, and they kept brushing legs under the table, and Sibella couldn’t help but stare as she licked cream off her lips. “I fear they see it written all over my face.” Phoebe continued to look at her, wide-eyed. “My… feelings. For you.” 

Sibella’s stomach turned, she was so anxious. Did they all know? What she was. What they both were. It made her nauseous to think of how their opinions of her might be poisoned. The thought of anyone finding out frightened her even more than her affair with Monty being exposed. Because Phoebe was a woman. And two women aren’t supposed to—

“I wasn’t aware you found me that irresistible,” quipped Phoebe, but Sibella did not laugh. She felt like she was about to throw up. Or burst into tears. She didn’t know what to do with these feelings and she envied Phoebe for how easy it all seemed for her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t joke,” she apologized, giving Sibella a sympathetic nod. “I will stop.” 

Sibella’s frown melted into an expression of relief. She was glad Phoebe understood, or at least, cared enough about her feelings to empathize. She felt guilty for being like this and at the same time guilty for not being better at it; for not hiding it better, for not being as confident in herself as Phoebe. Sibella had only recently realized that she was attracted to women. She had felt similar feelings when she was younger, but had attributed it all to jealousy. When she met Phoebe for the first time at Highhurst, she thought she envied her. She was beautiful, and her gown suited her complexion perfectly, and she had this effortless charm. But she didn’t hate her for it. Quite the opposite.

“As long as…” Phoebe blushed, glancing down at her feet for a moment to gather the courage to ask this of Sibella. “You kiss me when they’re all gone.”

Her heart stops at the words. This? This?

This was love, this was pure and good love between two people. This was Sibella kissing Phoebe gently, hands caressing through her hair. This was Sibella lying with Phoebe in the dead of night, their bodies so close they seemed to be one. 

This was Sibella’s love for her. Her devotion.