#pho logs

He supposed this was what happened when one was away from home for extended periods of time. But it didn’t make it okay, as far as he was concerned. He stooped to dismantle the rest of the trap. Took it apart, bit by bit, and tossed it into the hovering wagon he’d brought along. This hadn’t started out as a clean up trip, but that was what it was becoming. Initially he’d come out to find a clearing bordering the area that was technically his property that he’d often visited as a child. Who’d have thought that he’d end up spending a few hours clearing out the results of his neighbor’s slow and steady encroachment?

The latest trap made his stomach sink. A pitfall, one he’d very nearly fallen into himself, at the base of which sat spikes. He would’ve been severely wounded if he hadn’t noticed the odd look of the ground in time. If he hadn’t already been looking for traps. Did he really take the time to dig this thing out? Deimos poked at the edge of it with a stick, as if doing so would make the spikes below disappear.

”I wondered who was wrecking my traps…” A voice drawled from behind him.

Deimos stiffened, then slowly turned to look over his shoulder. The last time he’d seen Phobos, the blueblood hadn’t been that much taller than him, but apparently in his absence the blueblood had shot up like a weed. He frowned- just when had he snuck up behind him? Deimos did not consider himself to be an especially unobservant person, especially out in the murderwoods.

”They’re on my stretch a the woods,” he finally answered with the same casual tone.

Phobos’ mouth twitched into a smirk, but those eyes of his… there was no amusement there. Nothing but blank darkness that seemed to search beneath Deimos’ very skin - looking for something. ”You aren’t using these woods, why not let them go to actual use?” He asked after a moment of silence.

Deimos resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Phobos was the type of highblood to be careful around. The type that wouldn’t hesitate to cull a lowerblooded troll in an environment like this- where no one was around to hear screams. He couldn’t quite say how he knew that about Phobos, despite not really knowing the man, but it felt like an instinctual knowledge he would be extremely foolish to disregard.

”Well I’m usin’ it now, an’ this shit’s in my way. You got plenty a land, don’t you?” He waved a hand at the rest of the forest around them. Land borders were… blurry, sometimes, but this section of woods he knew was definitely attached to his hive. He hadn’t wandered that far away from it, after all. The knowledge of that made something inside him shudder. Just how close to his hive had Phobos been going? Should he be worried about Thypion?

”Using it for what?” Phobos quirked a brow, eyes dropping to the hover wagon- fixing on those dismantled traps, laid out in pieces. Useless.

”I don’t really think it’s really any a your business what I decide to do in my neck a the woods.” Deimos replied, perhaps a bit more snappy than he should have. Something glinted in Phobos’ eyes. Dei gestured to the pit. ”What purpose is this s’posed to serve? You’ll wreck your kills.” He hadn’t known Phobos to do… this, exactly. From what little he knew of the blueblood, anyway.

”Oh, it’s not for animals, clearly. It’s for the Hunted.” He laughed, a hollow and harsh sound. ”They’ve been encroaching on this part of the woods. You’d know that if you were around more often.” He shrugged, nonchalantly revealing that he knew quite a bit about Deimos’ long absences.

The reveal earned a shudder traveling up Dei’s spine. He should… invest in an outdoor security system, or something. He wasn’t ready to fully give up his hive, after all. ”Well, you let me deal with that. No need to trouble yourself over it.” He waved a hand to dismiss the idea.

”You were gone almost… three perigees this time, isn’t that right?” Phobos asked, counting out the perigees on one hand as he spoke. He glanced over to Deimos, that one eyebrow still cocked questioningly. ”I wonder what could keep a troll away from his hive for so long…”

Deimos bristled, wanting to go off on this man, but- no. He was clearly being watched for some reason. He needed to find out what exactly had caught Phobos’ attention. ”Project. Why were you watchin’ my hive?” He gave up the first reason he could think of that wasn’t a complete lie. He’d been with the Phoenix Initiative for two solid perigees, working on the Frozen Facility, and then spent another sort of… recovering at Underworld. He hadn’t thought much about not going home - not really.

”Oh I was just concerned, you know, as a neighbor… There were a few near break-ins, you know? And your lusus was just… wandering about, unsupervised.” Phobos waved a hand, his explanation coming smoothly and without any hesitation. Deimos could not decide if he was being genuine, or was simply that good of a liar. For safety’s sake, he banked on the latter.

”Thy can take care a himself, and he knew where I was. Real nice a you to keep an eye on things ‘round here but really, you don’t gotta trouble yourself.” Dei shook his head, ”I’d ‘preciate it even more if you’d get your traps outta here, since you’re around. Since I’m here ‘n all, they ain’t necessary anymore.” Dei glanced at the ones he’d disassembled, then returned his full attention to Phobos.

Phobos who had moved a few steps closer in that small window that Dei’s eyes were not on him. Silently. Dei jumped slightly, eyes widening slightly, and took a step or two backward.

There was that flash of light in those dull, dead eyes again. Interest? Something else? Whatever it was, it made Deimos shudder uncomfortably. He did not like that, not one bit.

”Of course,” Phobos said with a grin that showed far too many teeth. He leaned over to pick up one of the disassembled traps. ”Good of you to take them apart correctly. I’d surely hate to find them broken. There’s been a vandal going around doing just that lately, you know.” He mused, turning the bit of metal over in his hands. He flicked his eyes up to stare at Deimos, even as he continued to manipulate the trap in his hands.

”Right. Well. They ain’t my traps. Sorry to hear you’re dealin’ with a vandalism problem.” Did Phobos think he’d done it? No, surely not… ”How long will you need to clear out the ones you got in this area? Up to the clearin’.”

Phobos hummed, set the trap back down on the wagon, straightened up- (did he get taller?) ”Give me two weeks and I’ll have them cleared out… Aside from the pits, you surely understand. It would take far longer to get those taken care of while also having to disassemble the others.” He flashed another smile - this one clearly meant to be pleasant.

”Two weeks. Got it.” Dei nodded stiffly. He wanted out of this interaction. Now.

”There aren’t any in the clearing, if you were wondering.” Phobos offered the reassurance without any prodding. Somehow that did not make it very comforting. ”Escapees don’t typically like being out in clear view, after all.”

Dei nodded again, glanced off to one side- toward said clearing. It was at least another fifteen minutes trek through underbrush. All in all the walk from his hive to said clearing should only take an hour. It wasn’t that bad a trip, as far as he was concerned. When he returned his attention to Phobos, the blueblood was up in his space this time. Leaning down, all smiles and dead eyes.

”Planning a stargazing party?” He asked, as if the idea of it were funny.

Deimos stumbled back a few steps, heart suddenly racing a mile a minute. ”I- it’s a good spot, I just want the path to it cleared. We got it settled so that’s that, right?” He floundered to regain his composure- this troll was scaring him. He didn’t like it. The idea of returning to Underworld and just never leaving again suddenly seemed very, very appealing. Cerpin wouldn’t mind, would he? But Tevini…

”Understandable. I’ll let you know when I’m done.” Phobos leaned back, still smiling. ”In the meantime…” he looked down at the wagon, ”I’ll take it from here. Your wagon will be returned safe and sound, rest assured.” He reached for the handle, which Deimos was still holding.

Dei immediately released it, letting it drop to the ground with a soft thud. Phobos’ eyes flicked up to his face, amusement clear in his own expression. Dei could not bring himself to care much about the lapse in politeness. Everything about his body was screaming to get away from this troll.

”Right. Yeah. Thanks.” He sidestepped Phobos, intending to return to his hive as fast as he reasonably could without revealing how freaked out he was. (Alas, he’d already done that, hadn’t he?) ”Just leave it on the porch, I prolly won’t hear you.” He said as he began to leave.

”Oh I know.” Phobos replied casually, with a shrug. That nearly made Deimos stop in his tracks. What did he mean he knew? ”See you later, Deimos.” Phobos waved, then stooped to pick up the handle of the wagon. He didn’t bother waiting to hear anything else from Deimos before he began to tug it further into the woods, headed for the traps he’d scattered within them.

Gibberish. Absolute gibberish is what you wake up to - a string of messages sent by Gusept at ridiculous hours of the day. You don't normally fret over him, he's a big boy. He can take care of himself. But you know the effects of long term sleep deprivation. You've studied them, quite purposefully, until the subjects died.

Gibberish isn't really a good sign, in your book.

↜ I assume you mean other than Deimos, yes? ↝

↜ There's another blueblood nearby, Gusept. An interesting sort. Another insomniac by my judgment. ↝

↜ Plenty of others but I'm afraid I can't bother to remember them all... ↝

↜ The turnover rate in the woods is rather high, you see. ↝

“Did she? What a disappointment.”

> You’ll have to scold her later. The least she could do is give you the half she doesn’t want to eat.

> You’re... confused by this new development. This is an unusual “gift”, if it even is that.

> You decide you’re not going to accept this mystery at face value and go to get some answers from Teagan, starting with knocking on his door

“Did they...”

> You think about that for a moment...

“Yes, I think did actually... Thought it was strange. Now the question is...”

[08:54] NT: ↜You'll have to let me know if you get to participate in a Hunt.↝

[08:59] SR: I might just motherfuckin do that

A cracking stick catches your attention- up ahead there’s a figure moving between the trees, hopping down from one of the large roots. Another troll, they can’t be much older than you. You didn’t even know you had a neighbor! You wave, excited, only to get knocked over by Thypion. Your lusus does not trust this troll, which you think is silly. They’re so far away! You didn’t think about the possibility of the other troll’s lusus being hostile. You have never met someone with a hostile lusus.

The other troll spots you, though. They begin making their way toward you. The closer they get, the better you see-- they’re a blueblood, one tier higher than you. You don’t see a lusus with them, though. Did they have one? You push yourself up off of the ground and dust off the dirt and leaves sticking to your sweater.

The other troll stops a few feet away, noticing that Thypion appears to be on edge. You pat at your lusus’ leg, trying to tell him to calm down. It’s just one troll! There’s no harm.

“What’s your name?” He asks.

“Deimos.” You reply.

“I’m Phobos.” He says.

The two of you hit it off rather well. As it turns out, he lives not too far away from you. He asks you to come back out this way tomorrow, because he has to go back to his hive. You readily agree. Thypion does not object. You part ways, and return to your respective hives.

-----

You’re four sweeps old, and Phobos is your best friend. He comes over a lot, usually whenever he wants. You don’t object much, besides, it’s like he says, “you’re not doing anything anyway right?” It doesn’t cross your mind that he is slowly pushing your boundaries inward until it seems there are none anymore. You think this is normal. He is your best friend, after all.

It strikes you as odd that he always asks what you’re thinking and feeling, but never really tells you what he’s thinking or feeling when you ask him in return. Still, you readily give the information. It’s what best friends do, right? You think the world of him.

Phobos is three sweeps older than you, and you admire him a lot. He seems so grown up for his age, always has an answer for everything. But sometimes, sometimes he gets angry. You tell him that it scares you when he does that, and he seems to quiet down. You mistake this for thinking he is taking your feelings into consideration. He is, but not in the way you think. When Thypion isn’t looking, he gets back to it. You don’t notice the connection.

Another half sweep goes by, and you haven’t really made any other friends. “You don’t need them, do you?” Phobos reasons. You suppose he’s right, you don’t. You don’t really like other trolls anyway. You spend all of your time on your puzzles, and exploring the forest with Phobos. Thypion follows. You have yet to see Phobos’ lusus. You ask him about it once, but he changes the subject without you realizing it.

Sometimes, he convinces you to sneak out while Thypion is taking a nap. At first, you refuse. You cherish your lusus and would hate to damage your relationship. Eventually Phobos learns that you are much easier to convince when you haven’t had a lot of sleep. He comes over more often. You don’t sleep when he does. Sometimes, he sets off loud sounds when you drift off, startling you into wakefulness. Sometimes, you cry, because the sound was so loud and so close.

Phobos tells you to stop being a wriggler, it was just a joke.

You nod, yes, of course… it was just a joke. You don’t tell him that it scares you.

He eventually convinces you to leave, its been three nights since you had a real day’s rest and you’re not in full control of yourself. You’re only four and a half, after all. He tells you he has something to show you, something you’ll really like. You try to follow him through the underbrush, but it’s just so hard to walk in a straight line. He takes your hand and tells you he’ll help you, don’t worry about it. He’s there for you, after all. You smile, and thank him. It’s so nice to have a real friend.

The thing that he wants to show you is not something you enjoy.

You feel sick at the sight of it- a body, strung up on sticks and strings, scavenged off of. Green blood oozes from rotting wounds, the troll doesn’t have much of a face left and their horns are gone. Phobos seems overjoyed… You just want to throw up. You do throw up. Phobos asks how you’re feeling- what you’re thinking- what does it do to you to see this?

You tell him, all of it of course. You don’t want him to show you these things anymore. You don’t want to see what happens to the trolls in the Hunts. You feel sick, and scared, and you want to go back to your hive. He’s smiling the whole time, but you can’t see very well through the tears. He takes you back to your hive, and promises he won’t show you those things anymore. You believe him.

------

You’re five sweeps to his eight, and he’s getting out of hand. He comes over more frequently and demands much more of your attention and time. You’re so tired, so tired, but he just won’t let you sleep. You tell him he needs to not come over for a while, you need to sleep.. You have to sleep. The face he makes frightens you. You’ve never really told him no before, just asked, or pleaded, but this time you did not give him the option to come over and just hang around while you nap. This time you told him you wanted him to not come over at all until you tell him he can.

You begin to regret having this discussion out in the forest. You really regret not making sure that Thypion was there. He was your friend, right? He wouldn’t do anything to you- you knew he liked to mess with the Hunt trolls (they were going to die anyway, right? That’s what he told you) but he’d always promised never to hurt you.

The promise does not appear to matter. He shoves you down, dangerously close to one of the traps he’d just been showing you. You try to push him off, but he’s too strong- he’s always been strong- stronger than he should be but he won’t tell you why that is. He says he’ll come over whenever he wants, you can’t tell him no, you’re just a tealblood and he’s higher than you, better than you, and you should be honored that he even spends time with you at all.

You’re having trouble breathing- his hand is on your neck- you kick, but it doesn’t seem to phase him at all. You scream, using up the last bit of breath you have in your lungs in a desperate attempt to attract Thypion’s attention. He has excellent hearing, after all. Phobos tells you to shut up, and hits you- really hits you. You see stars- and not the kind you like.

He’s dragging you to your feet, you can’t get your body to move like you want- you can’t make him let go of you. You gasp for air, desperate to tell him to stop this isn’t funny this isn’t something friends do--

He laughs, what do you know about friends? He’s your only friend, this is how being friends with him is. You know if you tell him he’s not your friend anymore he really will hurt you. He’s dragging you deeper into the forest, toward the place you’re certain his hive is. It dawns on you that you’ve never been to his hive. He always told you it was boring, your hive was much more interesting.

You try to pull away, hands gripping his in a desperate attempt to pry his fingers off your shirt enough to make a run for it- you’re sure you can get away if you can just run. His grip does not let up. You’re begging him at this point to stop- you don’t like this game, Phobos. You want to go hive, Phobos. You need your lusus, Phobos. It’s not safe in these woods, Phobos.

He ignores you. You decide there is no way to get free of his hand, and instead slip out of your shirt- or try to. Your horns get stuck on the collar of your shirt just long enough to delay your escape- he grabs you by a wrist and yanks. You scream again, how is it possible that his grip is so strong? He’s not much older than you- not much higher than you- he throws a punch for your gut, causing you to double over and gasp for air again.

Where is Thypion? You look around desperately for any sign that your lusus might have heard your screams, but you cannot locate him anywhere in the woods. Phobos grabs you by a horn and drags you up to your feet again. He’s so much taller than you are. He tells you not to pull anymore tricks or he might just do something more drastic. He has a sickle out now. You don’t want to know what drastic means, so you whimper in agreement.

He smiles.

The smile only fades when a loud crashing sound from behind you distracts him. Twin heads roaring with anger, Thypion finally emerges from the forest at a full on charge. He drops you immediately and makes a run for it. You crumple to the ground, all tears and shaking with fear. You never want to see him again. Thypion stops just before he reaches you, both heads leaning down to inspect you for any wounds. Aside from the bruises forming on your wrist, neck, and stomach, you are relatively unharmed. You pick up your shirt and pull it on, tearing a hole when your horns snag again. You wipe your eyes, and then climb onto Thypion’s back. You tell him you never, ever want to see Phobos again. He grunts, you think he agrees.

You never do see him again, but you never forget. It’s dangerous to let other trolls in so close. When you find another mentor, you try desperately not to get too attached, but it's hard not to be drawn in by her smiles and the way she talks. She says she’ll teach you how to fight. You need to know how, or maybe Phobos will come get you again. You don’t tell her about him- no one needs to know about him.

----

You are almost six sweeps old when the next bout of insomnia causes you trouble, but you refuse to reach out. You cannot bear to be taken advantage of again- you’re terrified that someone will realize you’ll do whatever they want in this state. Thypion does his best to protect you, but he needs his sleep too.