#phlogyria

Hymenaios looking badass for her future wife

The only things we know of Hymenaios' wife (that I've named Phlogyria) is that she's an Athenian noble and went to the festival of Demeter in Eleusis and she got kidnapped and then saved and married to Hymenaios. Anyway.

So I'll start with her name: Phlogyria. It's a combination of the roots phlog- (fire/flame) and gyr- (ring). So... fire ring or ring of fire, however that would work out lol...

The name is to relate to the marriage torch (hence, fire) while the ring is for marriage (even if wedding rings weren't customary back then). I went with it because names in myth will go with the story or their character (not always, but still). I wanted it to relate to her also beyond marriage, so it's also to relate to her personality.

I imagine her as stubborn and passionate (seeing as she ignores Hymenaios, but he also doesn't try to talk to her because of her higher status, but yknow). What is she passionate in? Well dancing, since she participated in the festival, after all. Not only that, but gyr- "ring" relating to dance circles. So yeah, she dances.

Phlog- "fire" can also relate to her hair color. Though it isn't Elektra "Amber" I think I can still draw the association lol since fire... red-orange.. anyway lol

Well anyway, I gave her siblings. Because yes. I'm thinking third oldest with an eldest sister and older brother. (Maybe a younger sibling? Idk but for now it's just the three of them) I also gave her a widowed aunt on her father's side. Idk, I just wanted it lol... Her mom is an only child. Her older sister is also married. Her brother is out there somewhere lol just traveling.

Because of the festival in Eleusis, I just think it'd be fun if Demeter was important to the household. I'd have to figure it out more. In terms of marriage, Demeter is associated with married women, so that's cool. No priesthood though, idk enough about it, even while reading a little of Demeter's cult right now lol. Maybe Phlogyria's sister though, hm. There are temples of Demeter in Athens, so maybe... Another time lol. Anyway.

Onto her SECOND name :] (I actually gave her a second name because I liked Dehemia a lot even though I already made her first name so here we go lolol)

So, I was aware of how some characters in myth have second names and learned more from these posts:

By @/katerinaaqu https://www.tumblr.com/katerinaaqu/809475498433462272/do-you-think-that-the-ancienthomeric-greeks-have?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/katerinaaqu/794670122659938304/that-post-about-the-meaning-behind-the-iliad?source=share

So her second name is due to her current position in life/story. Specifically after Hymenaios' death.

Dehemia is made of the Greek roots de- (bind) and hemi- (half) so half bond (half bound? idk) and it's meant to mark her being a widow but also as wife of Hymenaios (when revived). She is "half-bound" to him as they are now a world apart (life-death; mortal-godhood). Regardless, it's to represent their marriage and her depression with his death and distance.

Whether it was adopted by her friends or by strangers, it just ends up sticking. She keeps it as her new name unless addressed by close friends, family, or Hymenaios. (She doesn't let her second husband call her Phlogyria)

In terms of her future children (in the timelines she has children with her second husband) I'd says she'd also have three kids. I teetered on four, but seeing how it's rather loveless, I think three is good with them stopping after Dehemia births a son (their third child).

She suffers from PPD with her children as they aren't the children she has with Hymenaios. She holds motherly love for them, but personal relationships are rather faint.

Depending on the timeline, she'll either be very enthusiastic or miserable when the time comes for her children's marriages. It'd probably be the happiest/saddest they ever see her. They don't see her truly happy until she is reunited with Hymenaios when they are all grown.

Sorry I took so long figuring out a name for her and came up with Phlogyria/Dehemia, so yeah, that's done and dealt with. Anyway-

But you are right. Phlogyria is just an Athenian noble who was going to a festival of Demeter with her friends and other women. It was gonna be a cool and fun time until they got snatched. Then some other girl who seems oddly familiar gets up and out of the boat (or maybe they are on the island? Idk I imagined them still being below deck). Then suddenly there's the sound of yelling and definitely guts and people falling off the side of the boat. Surely this girl is dead.

Only, no, she comes back covered in blood, sword in hand. (You are so right, some of those women had an awakening lmfaooo) Then she realizes that woman is the guy who's been following her around like a puppy. Then she and her friends make it home. Now she and Hymenaios are set to be married. (I'd go into the timeline cuz I want a courting period before jumping right into marriage, but yknow)

They get married. The whoops and hollers are at an all-time high! So loud and energetic that no one notices the house starting to crumble down, except her husband in the last moment who saves a woman one last time, and it's the one he loves most.

Phlogyria is heartbroken. She swept up in misery for months. Her father is sad too (naturally) as Hymenaios was the one to save his daughter, but everyone moves on faster than her. Then she's prompted to be remarried since she is still young. Part of me likes viewing her like Penelope (except, yknow, she knows Hymenaios is dead) in being apprehensive to the idea. (I need to look more into widows actually, but that's for her post ig lolol). She'd either remain unmarried as her father doesn't wish to distress her, or the plotline that she's eventually arranged in another marriage.

The wedding comes, and she can't stop crying. If she wasn't in a chariot, than she wouldn't be moving at all and be a ball on the ground while hearing people sing her dead husband's name for their hymns. But it is done. She's married. Then years later, she's a mother. She's heard the wedding hymns through town a hundred times.

Sometimes she shuts herself inside fully to drown out the sound. She's skipped friends' weddings because of it. Other times, she'll stand outside to watch the wedding take place. It's kind of the only way to feel close to Hymenaios. It makes her feel like he's alive rather than dead.

She'd grow old, grow wistful every time a wedding occurs around her. Thinking of her love. She'd think of him until the day she dies. And when she's in the Underworld, her looking frantically to find him. She'd even ask the fellow dead if they've heard of Hymenaios. Maybe she'd search for eternity. Wonder why Hymenaios would never show hmmm

Or maybe she finds out he's become a God. Now being immortalized is a high honor to mortals (even if they value their mortality). Phlogyria would be heartbroken but also a little happy at such an honor. Mostly sad though that they are a world apart.

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Okay, well what if she knew of his Godhood while alive? I'd think she'd be experiencing intense yearning. She'd maybe pray to him and Aphrodite, wishing for them to hear her prayers. Maybe she dedicates her life to weddings to, in Hymenaios honor, being a wedding planner herself.

It'd be her way of being close to Hymenaios and be a job that kept her busy. Maybe she does them selfishly too, hoping to see her beloved carrying the flaming torch as the wedding commenced.

Maybe she'd sit up awake at night, looking out her windows, wondering if her beloved will show his face to her. Or if he'll visit her dreams. It hurts wondering why he has not shown himself to her. Maybe it hurts more when she assumes it is because she's remarried that he won't appear (bonds of Hymenaios = wedlock/fidelity).

(maybe she does some crazy stuff and kill her husband /j LMAO that'd be funny/messed up and lead to a whole other tragedy in how this dooms her lolol. Another time though, another time)

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You ask if she doesn't believe that Hymenaios' love was real since he doesn't show up. Well, what if she didn't believe that Hymenaios turned into a God? (I'd say it's fair speculation, but his name being a hymn does immortalize him one way or another)

I think she'd fall into heartbreak if she believed his love was false or lesser. It's possible she'd die from heartbreak, I think. Maybe she'd sulk more for the rest of her life. Maybe she'd dislike when weddings come around. She might not even enjoy her children's weddings.

If Hymenaios let her be remarried, I think she'd hold betrayal in her heart. Both to herself and him. He could have married her instead of letting her be remarried; and she doesn't like that she's been remarried since it makes her first marriage feel fully over. I think she'd hold hate in her heart for that.

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Okay, well what if he did show up? For me, my favorite way to view these questions is not if he shows up, but when. So let's go through a few.

The most fairy tale version would be during Phlogyria's second wedding. A winged God swoops in right before they make it to her new groom's home. The mortals first think it is Eros, mayhaps, and divine intervention. Only, nah, it's her first husband reborn who has returned to take her hand in marriage. Again. Yep, they get married again that day, because no way she's saying no. Likely immortalized too, since that's how other marriages work (usually) with mortals.

Okay, well what about the wedding night? Also yes. Not much changes. She's carried off by him.

A few months into her marriage? Also yes.

Well what about when she has her first child? What about when she has several? Does she abandon them? Does she take them with her? Does she become immortal and routinely visits and supports her children? Does she stay mortal to raise her children while married to Hymenaios? Does she refuse to leave with Hymenaios at all? Idk you decide lolol, I ain't answering all of that lmaoo

What about when her kids are all grown and can take care of themselves? Probably, but it'd take some time. I don't think she'd particularly love her second husband, seeing as it's a political one (and that can't really compare to one made in full love, like Hymenaios was literally below her in status so-). But he has become a normal part of her life and she's grown to care. It'd be hard to leave that stability immediately. But give her time, I think so.

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Okay, well what about Hymenaios dying on their wedding night? Well, if he dies on their wedding night, then Phlogyria would be dead too because yknow- she'd also be in the crumbling house.

Well, how soon is Hymenaios revived? If it's immediately or in a few days, would the two even find each other before Hymenaios is brought to life again? Okay, well what if it's been a few months? Then Hymenaios is taken from the Underworld, unable to take his wife along with him?

Well, I look at Aphrodite and Adonis lol and other Gods that have been to the Underworld. Hymenaios wouldn't have issue visiting her. If he chose not too, that'd hurt for sure lol.