#phinnie18

hi! LONG POST INCOMING, this is an interpretation i hold dear. it's nothing we see first-person because of wei wuxian's spotty memory. i'm going to disclaim here that it was my interpretation of the text (although an interpretation i've seen and discussed with other members of the fandom) and that i read the exr translation. i also haven’t listened to the audio drama (gasp, i know)

anyway, it's in chapter 99 when lan xichen unleashes on wei wuxian. i think it’s as HEAVILY IMPLIED as it can be, given that it’s recounted by lan xichen and not lan wangji himself, and wei wuxian doesn’t remember it. particularly these parts:

When we arrived, you sat blankly on a rock within the cave. Holding your hand, WangJi was giving you spiritual energy. He kept on whispering to you. But throughout the whole time, you repeated the same two words at him.

“‘Get lost’!”

this is the rejection. or lan wangji’s perceived rejection, since not only does wei wuxian not remember it, i don’t think he was even aware of his surroundings when it was happening. i would love to know exactly what lan wangji was saying in these scenes, but i have no way of knowing (unless it’s confirmed in the audio drama! that is apparently an important level of canon i’m missing, but i just haven’t had the brain power to get through it yet.)

lan wangji never says anything about it after wei wuxian comes back, even with wei wuxian making moves on him throughout, because he’s already confessed and been shot down. and that’s why wei wuxian feels so awful when he learns this! because lan wangji thinks wei wuxian knows how he feels and doesn’t reciprocate.

“With the ways in which he looked and talked to you when he saved you and hid you in that cave, even someone who was blind or deaf could perceive his feelings, which was why my uncle was in such anger.

sometimes the deeper understanding lan xichen has of lan wangji is attributed to the fact that they’re brothers and lan xichen is the only person who Gets Him. and that might be true sometimes, but in this case lan xichen is clear that lan wangji was not being discreet. even oblivious wei wuxian would have understood.

“And you say… And you say you do not know. Young Master Wei, after you returned in your body, how did you pester him and confess to him? Every night… Every night, you had to… And you say you do not know? If you did not know, why did you do such things?”

lan xichen thought wei wuxian knew all along!

If Lan WangJi didn’t know that he couldn’t at all recall what happened in the few days after the massacre at Nightless City, if Lan WangJi thought that he knew about his feelings all along, just how horrible were the things he did after he came back?

and wei wuxian thinks that if he could just remember, he would also have known all along!

hopping to chapter 100:

After a deep breath, Wei WuXian whispered, “… I really do have a bad memory. I can’t remember a lot of the things that happened in the past, including the time at the Nightless City. I don’t remember a single bit of what happened during those days.”

Hearing this, Lan WangJi’s eyes widened slightly.

and lan wangji figures it out when he learns that wei wuxian doesn’t remember.

so the thing for me, based on the conversations in these chapters, is: the reason wei wuxian doesn’t know lan wangji loves him isn’t because lan wangji never told him. it’s because wei wuxian can’t remember this very specific incident. i don’t necessarily think lan wangji said it in so many words, but i do think whatever he said was clear enough that wei wuxian would have understood. or maybe the act of taking him away and fighting back against his own sect is meant to be the confession itself. it’s...pretty open to interpretation due to the fact that the event is being recounted 13 years later by a third party.