#phillippe besson

"What a mistake. What a mistake to finish this on the first day of my summer holiday. I really wish I hadn't. In fact I wish I hadn't even started it in the first place.

It's not enough to say this is heartbreaking. It's not enough to say it is, of course, written beautifully or that it's given teenage (literary) love a new voice. It's the weight of the sadness that falls on you from the very first pages that I couldn't shake off. The inevitable end that I wanted to stop reading from. I think this has been described as the French 'Call me by your name'; that's not entirely accurate. CMBYN's got obsession and lust in its core; they both tend to fade out with time. This one deals with regrets; you can carry your regrets an entire life.

I wish I hadn't read this because I can't imagine stories like this being true, I can't imagine men having lived - and even living - their lives like this. And because it breaks my heart thinking about those men thinking they "already know they will never be so happy again" when it is all they deserve.

And just to make it clear: this is a book that will speak to your heart because it's a great book. I almost want to beg you not to read it but instead I will say this: at least don't read it on your summer holiday."

Emanuel - July 30, 2021 (5 Star Review)

I admit I had the same reaction to reading this book. Fully acknowledging how beautifully written it may be - I still regret reading it.

This book feels like its potentially giving me a glimpse into the future while at the same time strangling me with the past. Teenage Love rarely doesn't end in tragedy for at least someone I understand that clearly but the idea of going your whole life asking yourself "What if?". "Was it real for them too?", "Will I ever know the truth?", only to find the answer written out in a letter after its too late; it's heartbreaking.

"lie with me"

Philippe Besson