#phighting rambles

Blackrock puts a ton of pressure on all their newspawn, you wouldn't expect anything else from a military region.

Subspace as an inphernal themselves were competitive in nature, on top of that they seem like a choleric to me.

That plus pressure and high expectations from Blackrock people and mentors and higher-ups turned Subspace into a person who is willing to sacrifice anything to become the greatest, be it people, relationships, gossip, misunderstanding, doesn't matter whether or not the bad reaches him, he's after success and success only.

In his spawnday video he states that it takes a lot for another inphernal to impress him, especially if they aren't from Blackrock, and also that he has a lot of respect for his superiors and basically he wouldn't be the person that he is if not them ("I owe everything I know to them!")

It's clear that her superiors had a great impact on her and what she believes in.

As a consequence of how she was raised and what she was told her entire life I think here is what has been going on:

– Mentioned before; great pressure on them (and others inphernals from the region) since spawnhood, probably alongside a justification that sounded something like "Blackrock demons got a reputation to maintain; we are above other regions thanks to our system" or something along those lines, that would tie the concepts together - "perform well, you're a Blackrockian"

– There wasn't only pressure, there was also reward for doing well what you were told to do, be it verbal or any other kind. Better treatment, better recognition.

These next few paragraphs are fully a headcanon, but I like to think that that year/years in particular when Subspace spawned, the newspawn who were around the same age were an almost fully failed "batch".

That the huge majority of them either died in spawnhood (stated to be common in inpherno) or they were average/below average, with the exception of Subspace, Medkit and maybe some other 4-5 demons or whatever.

So since young age Subspace was taught that life in his region was all about high stakes and high reward, but only if you perform well. So "perform well" was exactly what he did. Except someone else performed well too.

Medkit. Was just as talented and skilled as him, and they were approximately the same age too.

Maybe Medkit was the only one/one of the very few scientists around Subspace's age in Blackrock who was able to keep up.

Therefore Subspace's competitive nature + taught competitiveness made him want to, you guessed it, compete, she now needed not only to outperform herself but also her "colleague".

It is stated that Medkit and Subspace never got along. Since Blackrock drags all their newspawn into either science, engineering or infantry fields, and both Medkit and Subspace were scientists, it's safe to say they were working alongside each other approximately since spawnhood.

Not at a single point of the time of them knowing one another they were friends or at least tolerated one another, they always got into fights, arguments, threw hands and expressed their strong dislike as explicitly as possible

Mekdit loathed Subspace probably even more than Subspace loathed Medkit.

She didn't miss Blackrock when she left, leaving her worst years behind was the most freeing feeling she experienced ever.

Then he joined the church of the True Eye, which both saved his freedom and applied restriction, but that's the second best thing he could go through, if Blackrock wasn't out to get him.

Only as time went on he came to realize the way he is and was treated fully revolved around his gear

A rare, healing gear, nobody saw past that

Especially church of True Eye, definitely proud of having a healer on their hands

In phights basically no one looks past his gear as well, maybe with the exception for people who know him personally

After all, in a world where gear is so important, all of that was simply bound to happen

In retrospective Medkit made a conclusion he really hated

There are basically two people in his life who knew him more than his gear

Sword, his good friend he sees as a sibling

And Subspace, his rival

Since spawnhood Subspace hated her guts. Because she had the motivation, the patience, the knowledge, the skill, understanding and everything else you would want in a scientist

They were competing

Subspace hated him for who he is, not solely for his gear

He hated the recognition Mekdit was getting because he knew what Medkit was made of

Subspace's blood was definitely boiling when Medkit develop the first energy crystal faster than him

It was personal when she took his eye, when the whole altercation happened and they wounded each other for life, every single time they fought since spawnhood

Was all personal

Unadulterated detestation

Medkit doesn't want to admit it to themselves but they almost miss being disliked for what kind of person they are, completely separated from their gear

I have a strong feeling that he'd think of Subspace on a daily basis, usually involuntarily, only catching himself half an hour after he already began to dwell, unable to stop even after he realizes what he's doing

Therefore he'd somewhat frequently have various dreams about Subspace.

Some are extremely vague and only contain random "clips" of events that never happened.

Some of them have him and Subspace fighting as newspawn - mirroring some of the events that actually happened

Some would be both of them being newspawn as well but in these they would be friends, in a "I got your back" way

Some would depict them being lovers in a complicated relationship, clash of similar interests and Blackrock's higher ups treatment tainting the whole thing between them

Many would show how else the altercation could have went. Like Subspace taking both his eyes or uprooting his horns, or just the opposite, Medkit uprooting the other scientist's horns.

Or what would happen if one of them left before irreparable damage was done. Never talking again, Medkit leaving Blackrock the same way they actually did, expect this time everyone's eyes are intact and no rot is spreading on anyone.

The dreams used to bother Medkit rather deeply for the first few years, but now it's almost "mandatory" a part of his weeks that go by, something that is brought to his mind without his will

She can't help it but wonder what are they thinking about them if they're thinking about them at all

What do they feel? What if they slightly miss it all too? Medkit would never go back, obviously, but what she had back in that militarized region with that dick of a person was probably the closest thing she had to being truly perceived

I imagine Subspace is in general a guy who gets mad easily and he's very short tempered, but before and after the altercation it was for kinda different reasons

I mentioned in another ramble that I see him as a choleric, so there's that, also I talked about his competitive nature before, but that primarily applies to pre-disaster Subspace. She was younger, more "flammable" in terms of social interactions and stuff, but post-disaster I'd imagine she's constantly irritated for 2 new reasons, both stemming from the rot

First of all, the rot is like a timer. She is going to inevitably die and she is doomed, there's no escaping this and there's no cure, her day to day life is complicated and it interferes with her work too. They struggle on daily basis with daily tasks and it's hell and it's not going to be over until they are over too.

odd to think that Medkit is seen smiling on a photo when he was going through hell on earth

because nowadays Medkit is barely ever seen smiling

I feel like things are this way because back in Blackrock she had no idea things could be different, she only knew one life