#pharma x reader

• “Well, doc? Give it to me straight,” Kup’s growling as Pharma steps into the room and his wings lift as he glances down at his son looking seriously up at the older mech. ‘It’s terminal,’ his son decides with a smile, voice cheerful as Kup barks out a startled laugh, nearly dropping his cygar as he huffs through his vents. And you’ve got a hand over your mouth, trying to hide your horrified laughter. “Kid’s brutal,” Kup adds, looking over at him, tone approving.

• Walking over as you struggle to look serious, you crouch and cup your son’s face in your hands as wide optics stare innocently up at you. “Remember when we talked about playing nice?” You ask and he’s ignoring you to press the toy stethoscope against you as Kup and Pharma talk behind you. “And not saying unsettling and vaguely threatening things to people? Like predicting their deaths?” You know he remembers. He’d gotten sulky about it and you sigh at his pout. “Do you want to apologize to Kup?”

• Halfway listening to you fussing at his son as he runs the scanner over the older mech’s hands, he freezes when his son complains that Kup’s so old he could just offline any day. And the old mech is wheezing, laughing, and removing his cygar to point it at the sparkling. “I may be old, but I’m not going anywhere any time soon, kid. Got a bitlet of my own about your age to raise,” Kup says and Pharma’s lips twitch. ‘Sparklings have no filter unfortunately,’ he murmurs, making a note on his datapad.

Getaway

✦ ── Genuinely an amazing partner. He's charismatic, smart, and funny. You may not know it, but by cybertronian standards he is one dashing mech. Getaway prioritizes you. Your safety is his utmost priority.

✦ ── Includes you in anything he can. Events, parties, planning, visits to his other friends? All yes. Dangerous missions you can't go on? He's given you a little walkie-talkie to keep in touch with him. Now you can hear his snarky remarks while he's being chased by charisma leeches!

✦ ── Loves to show you off, too. Mass shifting to dance with you at one of the bars, twirling you around and soaking in your laughter. He's absolutely smitten. Lovesick. Helm over heels. Has he said he loves you yet? Oh, ten times already? How could he not?!

✦ ── Does he use you as an excuse for a lot of his actions against others? Perhaps. Megatron killed so many organics; he is impossibly dangerous. He needs to keep you safe. If he has to do drastic things to protect you, then he will.

✦ ── If you don't seem like you'll accept his plans, then he'll just keep it a secret from you. He can be an amazing liar, even if he hates lying to you. However long he has to keep it up, you will be none the wiser.

Megatron

✦ ── Isn't looking for a pet. Megatron wants to be surrounded by those he finds useful. You are no different; you are someone skilled who can—to a certain degree—match up to the likes of his current crew. You're certainly better than Starscream and the Vehicons.

✦ ── To avoid 'accidents,' you are usually paired off with someone who can look out for you. Typically it's with him, but Soundwave is the second most common option. In fact, more often than not, you and Soundwave work next to one another in the main brig where he keeps watch.

✦ ── Not shy in any capacity when it comes to you. Of course he keeps a human in his ranks. No, he doesn't plan to dispose of you when he 'gets what he wants.' The only time he keeps silent is when someone asks if he cares for you. He does, but he doesn't need anyone knowing the warlord is in love.

✦ ── Your relationship can seem very nonexistent to others, but anyone close to Megatron would know. He doesn't let anyone spend that much time with him or talk to anyone as casually as he does you. You are clearly the exception.

✦ ── Enjoys back-and-forth bickering with you when no one else is around. Tell him how awful he is. He's grinning. Likes to 'let' you win from time to time, but the truth is that he's got way more years on you and far better insults and comebacks.

Pharma

✦ ── All things considered, he is a very lovely partner so long as you remain on his good side. And on his good side you are. The two of you are partners for a reason.

✦ ── Like it or not, you're going to learn plenty about the medical field and all sorts of drama in it. Rants about people he's had to work with, patients, and working conditions constantly (with no regard for patient confidentiality).

✦ ── A tease when it comes to your fragility, especially given all his instruments and sharp bits. The control he has over you, with how easily he can handle you, is a delight. Often threatening to poke you with pointy tools so you throw him that delicious glare.

✦ ── A little isolating. Pharma prefers you entirely to himself, save for some interactions with other medics or peers. After what he did on Delphi, you're coming with him whether you agree with his actions or not. Not like you can get away from him, really.

✦ ── Try not to stress it too much. Pharma loves you unconditionally and thoroughly. You'll come to terms with what he did eventually, and he'll support you through all your uncertainties. Rely on him. He loves it.

Scourge

✦ ── Your relationship started as all awful things do: You beating the hell out of several of his sweeps before he plucked you up into his claws and called you "disgusting." You managed to escape that night, but luck wasn't on your side when you ran into him again, and it quickly became a hostage situation.

✦ ── All things considered, he warmed up to you as slowly as you did him. He needed an ongoing bargaining chip on this planet, and you were pleased to get out of the demands of your daily life for some time.

✦ ── The nomadic life he lives keeps things intriguing. You're travelling around the planet, watching him outsmart and battle other robots, all while commanding the sweeps. All of that while getting a free ride.

✦ ── While it can be incredibly difficult to tell if Scourge actually likes you or not, it's evidenced when he starts to prioritize your safety. Where he used to throw you out of his seat, he now sets you down somewhat gently.

✦ ── It doesn't matter if you're in excellent hands when other bots save you; he hates seeing their pathetic digits around what's rightfully his. His cocky amusement burns into a searing rage. Both because they are tainting you and because he hates that he cares.

Shockwave

✦ ── Time together is precious, with him living a double life. For him to fall for you, you must be unwaveringly loyal. Being human is a bonus, because you can help sell his Strongarm personality. I mean, he's got to be a great guy for him to take such good care of an organic, right?

✦ ── You are not a secret from Megatron and never were. It is up to you to prove yourself to the warlord, and Shockwave believes you can. Your loyalty to him and the cause has proven so. Funnily enough, you do get missions from time to time by the warlord. You imagine he tolerates you because of your usefulness and Shockwave's affection towards you.

✦ ── Though he might remark about your lack of intelligence, he will always take the time to educate you. He has nothing to hide from you. Your attentiveness is noted and appreciated. Though he used to work alone in silence, having you for company is a welcome change.

✦ ── One of your favourite games to play is 'helpless hostage.' If an Autobot gets too close, he'll grab you and act as if you're some random human he's about to squish. Works everytime. You've been reprimanded a few times for overselling it with the tears, but can't a human have fun?

✦ ── When he is deeply focused on work, he'll run the back of his claw up and down your spine. Occasionally pinch your hair between two claws to brush through it. Keeps a servo busy while keeping you content.

Author's Note ── This ask is like a pillowcase of Halloween candy. I ADORE antagonists. I wasn't sure if you cared which continuity, so I did as mixed a bag as I could (can you tell IDW is my favourite?)

He scowls at you.

"I will assume your expression is one of curiosity and not disdain, but yes, that is my designation."

"And you're a doctor, correct?"

"Correct."

You take a few steps ahead, then turn your back on him abruptly, pacing back and forth while he looks at you with the fascination and mild disgust of a pet shop owner being entrusted with a venomous snake.

You turn to him again, your index up. "Don't mind if I ask, but did you acquire your name upon becoming a doctor or was it assigned to you at birth?"

He scoffs. "First, cybertronians aren't born, they are created; second, I did choose my designation according to my profession."

You make a sound of poorly-concealed condescence. Or at least, so it appears to his audial receptors.

He crosses his arms. "You think that's amusing? Oh do tell me, human, is your designation that much wittier?"

"Oh no, you got it wrong, I wasn't making fun of you. I just thought the situation was a bit... Peculiar."

"You haven't answered my question."

You smile at him, and also cross your arms.

"Pharma."

"I beg you pardon?"

"I'm also a doctor. Anesthesiologist to be exact."

"That's not funny."

At this point you do laugh, mostly at how serious his face remains despite the absurdity of it all.

"Okay, okay, my actual name is," you try to think of something clever, "Penicillin. Penny for short."

"Alright, Penicillin," something in the way you grin tells him you're still messing with him, "I'll do my best to relocate you to the nearest human colony." So that you'll leave him alone and stop annoying him.

"I appreciate it, Pharmacy."

"It's Pharma."

"Apologies, Psychopharmaceuticals."