It’s Dangerous To Fall In Love
Drabble based from Fire Meet Gasoline by Sia
“Dan? Are you even listening to me?”
“No. You don’t make any sense”
“I make lots of sense! You can’t come to visit. I’m an adult. Your parents simply wouldn’t allow it”
“Is it not worth asking? Am I not even worth asking? You just immediately give up? So, what? You’ve had me strip on call a couple times and that’s it, Phil, that’s all I’m good for?”
“Oh cry me a freaking river, Dan, ask your parents if you want, but they’re not going to let you come to an adult’s house in Manchester by yourself, whilst said adult is also home alone. It’s just common sense, they’ll be suspicious”
The call ended. Dan had hung up. I sighed, he was so explosive, why couldn’t he see that this clearly isn’t going to happen over night. I bite my lip anxiously at the words he said; of course I wasn’t just using him. I called him back. It rang for 3 seconds before he picked up.
I waited nervously at the station. I had got the bus and was 15 minutes early, but i didn’t care. I didn’t care about the cold, the way it bit my nose, I only cared about how in exactly 14 minutes 37 seconds, Dan will be getting off that train. 14 minutes 23 seconds, I can barely breathe. I inhaled to try and calm myself down, but instead just inhaled someone’s second hand smoke. I spluttered and coughed but my nervous smile still didn’t falter. I was going to meet the love of my life.
“Baby please come in the living room, you’ve been in the bedroom all day”
“You’re not going to tell them?”
“I saw the video. You’ve edited out all of the kisses”
“Don’t baby me, you’re ashamed of me,” my voice was getting louder and louder as my anger bubbled, how could he get me here, and show me off to the world, yet simultaneously hide me from the world? It’s not fair. I was angry. He reached his hand towards me, “sweetheart, of course I’m not ashamed of you, I just-“
“Don’t fucking touch me, Phil,” I screamed, “You’re not ashamed, you just don’t want anyone to know you’re sleeping with a stupid, slutty, useless-“
He pressed his lips against mine in one last effort to shut me up and I bit him. “What the fuck, Dan?”
“I said don’t touch me”
“You’re insane! You’re actually fucking insane!”
“Well you’re the one dating me, so what does that say about you?”
“Ow, that really hurt Dan” he said, warningly, his voice starting to raise to match mine”
“Good! You’re a dickhead. I’m going home.”
“You don’t have the right train ticket to go today”
“Well considering I’m a slut, they might let me on if I suck their di-“
“Youre not going anywhere Dan, just sit down and calm down,” he yelled this.
“You’re yelling at me!”
I sighed and walked over to him, pushing myself under his arms, hugging into his chest. I wasn’t going anywhere.
I sat playing on my phone, listening to music, watching people embarrass themselves on the train. It wasn’t enough to distract me. I was going to meet the love of my life, after pining after him, after being noticed, after him falling in love, and now I’m finally going to be able to kiss him, to hug him, to tell him how much I love him. It was 12:17. My train was set to arrive at 12:22. I watched the train ride past stations that we weren’t stopping at. 12:18. I was going to tell him I love him. So much.
“Fuck you Phil I’m not dropping out”
“Dan you cry about how much you hate law on a daily basis. Sometimes multiple times a day, it was just a simple statement. Maybe you should.”
“Maybe you should suck my dick”
“Dan please can you just have a normal adult conversation with me.”
His response was to repeat why I had said, in a mock version of my voice. Mature.
“Dan,” I said, this time more authoritative, “you need to think, do you want to take Law for the rest of this term? And then multiple terms after?”
“I don’t know, Phil!” He yelled, and I sighed. So the yelling begins. It’s been a week since we both exploded, I was wondering when it was going to catch up. “I don’t know, but I do know that I don’t need you, the one person who I actually enjoy spending time with, to make the decision for me.”
“Oh? Is that true? Do you really enjoy spending time with me? Because it seems to me that 8 times out of 10 whenever you interact with me, you end up yelling at me!”
“and you yell back! So don’t pin all of the blame on me!”
“You’re so explosive, burning immediately to flames, Dan, you need to listen and talk rationally.”
“It’s not like you don’t help! If I’m fire then you’re 100% the gasoline that makes me explode”
“why are you yelling? You’re in the wrong here!”
I looked at him for a really long time. I just maintained eye contact, blinking rarely, my eyebrow raised ever so slightly. He softly padded over to me and hugged me, tears falling down his cheeks. I keep forgetting that he’s still just a child. I wrapped my arms around him and breathed heavily, in and out, hoping he’d copy.
I resisted the temptation to text Dan and instead opted to tweet about how happy I was. In exactly 2 minutes 15 seconds, he’d be stepping off that train and looking for me. And I’d be frantically looking for him. And then he’d be running into my arms. And then I’d be holding his hand. And then I’d be taking him around Manchester and then I’d be kissing him. I love him. We’re a perfect match. And he’d hopefully be kissing me back. 1 minute 52 seconds.
“Why are you even so upset? When I filmed that video you were upset that I wouldn’t post it, and now YouTube has done what you wanted, and all of a sudden you’re No Homo Howell?”
“I asked and begged. And you said no. And now I’ve finally gotten used to controlling my online image, and that image is that I’m not dating you. And now all of a sudden it’s out there! They’ll think I’m a liar, and it’s all your fucking fault!” I started crying during my rant. He was right. I should embrace the opportunity. But I wasn’t, I was practically rejecting him. He tried to hug me and I reacted in a way that I haven’t since I was younger, I pushed him and yelled, “Fuck you, Phil, if you had just listened to me in 2009, we wouldn’t be in this situation in 2012, unless you have a time machine, get the fuck away from me and let me sort your mess out.” I threw a cushion at him at went to storm out.
“We were meant for one another, you know that?”
“What are talking about?”
I gingerly walked a few steps forward.
“Come a little closer?”
“What do you want?” I said this as I walked into his arms
“Remember ages ago, when I said you were a fire?”
“I’m burning alive”
“You sound so pretentious”
“I love you,” he looked at me and I sighed. I hugged him close.
“Burn with me tonight?”
“Stop being pretentious”
I stepped off of the train and spotted him immediately. The lanky, pale, awkward boy that I loved. He was stood looking frantically at the wrong train, bless him. I grabbed my suitcase and walked over to him, gaining speed and momentum and getting more and more excited. He turned around looking disappointed, and his eyes landed on me immediately. I smiled and he broke into a sprint. I laughed and joined him. The second I reached him I practically threw my suitcase on the floor, and was enveloped in the sweetest embrace I’ve ever felt. I love him. I told him so. And he cried and told me he loved me too. He grabbed my hand and we set off on an adventure through Manchester.
We’ve been on two world tours together. We’ve released two books. A board game. An app. We’ve built a brand. We’ve built a fan base. We’ve built a home. Me and Dan are still very stubborn, but Dan is older now. He knows how to calm down, he knows how to control his emotions. Sometimes for big things, his fire meets gasoline, but that’s a very rare thing nowadays. I love Him.
