#phantastry

It was a Thursday, and Phil had just received a phone call neither of them had been expecting so soon in their lives.

“Hi, mum,” Phil had answered anxiously. It was already nearing midnight, and though Dan and Phil were always up until at least 1, Phil’s mum was not. “It’s late, is something wrong?”

Sitting beside him on the couch, Dan had been able to hear every word.

“Hullo, Phil.” Phi’s mum had sounded chocked up, and like she’d been crying for a least an hour before she’d managed to pick up the phone and call Phil. At that, Dan and Phil’s gazes had met, worry evident in Phil’s eyes.

Reaching out gently, Dan took Phil’s hand in his, because he hadn’t known what else to do.

“Is everything alright, mum? You sound...have you been crying?”

That’s when the news had broken. Phil’s dad was in the hospital, and it didn’t look like he was going to survive the night. 

In moments, Phil had stood up and moved to his room. His mum was still talking, but Phil was silent, and it scared Dan, because Phil would usually, at the very least, excuse himself from the room before storming off. Maybe that’s why Dan had chosen to follow him. Maybe that’s why Dan had chosen to let Phil lash out against him.

He didn’t want the other man to be left alone.

Words like stones were hurled Dan’s way the moment he hung up the phone. There was almost no moment between the two actions where Phil even calmly took in the fact that Dan was there. Instead, he turned towards his bedroom door, took in the fact that he wasn’t alone, and picked up the nearest object before hurling it right past Dan’s head.

“Get out!” he’d screamed, breathing already becoming erratic. Phil’s eyes were becoming red as tears starting to fill them, but Dan didn’t turn tail and run. Not this time. He took a tentative step forward, and winced when the next sound out of Phil’s voice was a loud sob.

“What are you even doing in here, I told you to leave!” he screamed, taking a menacing step toward’s Dan that Dan ignored. “You don’t belong here, just get out!” Phil tried again, moving forward again with his hands balled into fists at his sides.

“I belong with you, Phil,” Dan disagreed in a quiet voice. Phil ignored him, groaning loudly and grabbing fistfulls of his hair in his hands. 

“Just, fuck!” he yelled. “I need to, I need to fucking pack, and you’re in my fucking way. You’re so fucking useless Dan, just go!” he screamed, but again, Dan ignored him, trying to hold back the wince at Phil’s painful words.

“You need to sit down, Phil.”

“Fuck you, no one asked you!” Phil shouted back, scrambling around in his closet for the luggage bag they both knew he’d thrown somewhere in there following vidcon this year. “I need to get back home, where my father is dying, Dan!” he yelled, his voice catching on minimal sobs. Dan had never seen Phil this broken before.

“You need to sit down and take this in, Phil.”

“And how would you know? Have you ever dealt with death, Dan!? No! You very well fucking haven’t, so keep your fucking opinions to yourself!” Phil shouted in response. The words cut, but Dan ignored them again as he tried to approach Phil. His fingers wrapped gently around Phil’s shoulder in an attempt to calm, but Phil only ripped his body away.

“Don’t touch me!” he screamed, turning on Dan with wide eyes. His cheeks were wet, and his chest was heaving, but Dan still moved to approach him, opening up his arms in an attempt to hug Phil. Phil shoved him away, palms coming down flat on Dan’s chest roughly. “I said don’t!” 

“Phil, please,” Dan responded, approaching Phil again, arms still outstretched. Phil shoved him away again, but on the third approach, Dan didn’t let him. He wrapped his arms around a struggling Phil’s shoulders, and pulled him, ignoring the pain of Phil physically struggling in his arms. “Shh. It’s going to be okay, Phil,” he murmured, even though he knew it really wasn’t going to be.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” Phil screamed, but he’d stopped struggling now, and had collapsed in Dan’s arms. “I hate you,” he said again, only this time he was sobbing and wailing and batting weakly against Dan, and the words had no heat behind them.