#perspective needed

okay really. i have to figure this out. i can’t break another person’s heart because i am unable to communicate what i need early enough in the relationship.

Cara and i have a plan, that we’re not going to make any big decisions until after we’ve spent a full four seasons together. we want to experience each other in every light & every dark. now, is this a full four seasons before we become monogamous partners or before we get engaged.? not sure of the answer. stay tuned to find out what happens next.

i just know that she gives me everything i currently need. the active communication surrounding feelings, experiences, worries, hopes.. they’re thought out and purposeful. they’re so connecting... i learn so much about her and she also gets to learn about me. she is constantly telling me i’m wonderful, not just to her but as a person. that my experience is valid and that she see’s me. and i’m letting her.

the situation is not ideal, because i did cheat on Lacey with Cara... but i apologized and am doing what i can to rebuild trust with Lacey. hell we still have to be housemates for a year. i’m concerned about how Cara is feeling regarding this... we checked in on it the day before yesterday.? but she has so much going on i’m sure Lacey is one of the last things on her mind.

i crave her when she’s not near. she makes me laugh, and real good belly laughs like my friends make me laugh. we also have a million things in common so it makes everything super easy.