#personalwbttext

To do my best at it, may require for me to share myself as well as Bucky with you so, here goes. Because i’d rather be honest and frank than pretend everything is ok behind the scenes here.

This weeks story is not quite finished and I need a bit of time before I can write again. I tried to write for six hours today and only wrote for about 40 minutes total.

You see, I’ve started working with a new therapist and we’re going to be doing a lot of work on Fridays. Which for me is kinda bad, I’ve just figured out. It means I’ll be in no position to post on Saturdays.

When I think about my trauma, it just sucks all the love, joy, creativity, optimism, everything out of me. it makes me want to disappear, the last thing I want is to put a spot light on myself or anything I do. I withdraw from others and can’t focus for days at a time.

Getting my ability to write back and having dry up so quickly is scary. What if it doesn’t come back? I try not to think that way, but ti creeps in any way.

So Maybe posting on a different day after I’ve had time to get my bearings and write properly. I usually start stories weeks in advance and on the Thursday and Friday before posting do reading draft and editing draft. But having had appointments twice this week 1 on Monday and 2 Friday, really pushed into my writing time and after yesterday...

I implore you, please, keep reading & keep sharing. Fandom may not be super important to you, but liking Bucky has helped me feel so much happier, and sharing that happiness with other people it makes happy keeps me going, you have no idea. Give me someone to tell a story to, someone to look forward to sharing with and I will give you what I have, my words, my images and thoughts.

Thank you everyone, and as always, you are what keeps this blog going. Without a recipient, gifts have no meaning. The same is true for art of any kind, it’s made for yourself, your friends, your coworkers, your clients.

Mine is made for you.

Winter Soldier...steals a lot!! He stole that serum and that motorcycle and that helicopter and Nat’s gun (I say stole because he did not return any of those on purpose nor in working order)...