#personaltruths

I haven't followed any of the normal protocols or practices to learn magick or energy manipulation. Hell, I didn't even study anything to learn astral projection, it just happened.

I spent most of my life trying to understand what I am and why I can do the the things I can. But I finally stopped questioning.

I can finally embrace that I am light and I am dark. I am a divine feminine with masculine energy. I am of the earth and of the universe. But what I am humanity doesn't understand and some who are awakening can't quite grasp either.

At one point magickal and non-magickal people a like have insulted and talked major crap because I wouldn't join their side. I am not here to choose sides.

I have chosen to help people heal the emotional and traumatic things that have happened in their lives. I have learned from doing shadow work that our ability to connect to the elements and energies can flow unhindered.

As I have worked with my cards more and more, those blessed things are calling me out. I say blessed because to damn something is to curse it and I love my cards to much to do that. Anyway, as a person I have trouble admitting or seeing where I am screwing up, so I use the Tarot to open my eyes.

Needless to say, I can’t intimidate the cards, I can’t make them take their message back. All I can do is sit there and accept that those little f’rs called me out. So now I have to take responsibility and do the work that is necessary so that I can be the best version of me for me.

I have come to see that it is not my job to make people happy. Happiness is something they have to find within themselves. Once they find it, no once can take it away unless they give it away. I, for one, fight for what is mine.

At a young age, I saw spirits, but I was told they are not real. 🤨

I could place my hands where someone was hurting and feel what was there on the inside and relieve their pain. I was told, that's just your imagination. 🤔

I could hear voices speaking to me but there was no one around. I was told, you need medication. 🧐

I could travel to places I had never seen, visit places of the past, and embrace those who had passed. I was told, you have an active imagination. 😂

How were they expecting me to embrace "someone" they pointed out did not exist anywhere else except in "my imagination"? I know I was only kid, but it doesn't take an expert to identify bull crap. Yes, I also know bull crap is manure. It is used to help plants grow and thrive, but why were they trying to get me to believe something that was obviously going to stunt my growth, make me sick, and kill me?

Let's start with my simplest question. Are spirits real? Yes! If spirits aren't real, how can you claim to be filled with the holy spirit, walking with the saints, and leaning on the Lord's side? Just with one question and one word "No", all beliefs, faiths, and practices in the world have been killed.

If you can't tell by now, I was that pain in the ass kid always asking why, how, who, what, when. As you can see I had problems with conformity down to the word order of the "question words". I knew if you couldn't tell me why, you didn't know the how, barely knew the who, didn't really care about the what, and the when was before your time so you didn't really care. Very rarely did I receive an honest answer. Instead I got some of those dirty little word....."You'll understand when you get older."