#personal shiz

awoooooooga

So anyway, I might fizzle out here and there a bit, but I miss a lot of you and don't like missing out on your craziness and talk and art and like, y'all are super amazing, I mean it <333

(tho I don’t have the height nor much curves, I could work my way to gain some muscle eventually)

2019 has really been shit. There’s a lot I haven’t said here and still may not, but I’m going to at least cover a couple of bases of things that have had me in almost constant stress for awhile. First of all, in July, my mother was diagnosed with Colon cancer. It came completely out of nowhere. They found it during a colonoscopy, as apparently, Colon cancer doesn’t have symptoms. So it’s lucky that they found it. But it was a huge blow to my mother. It was hard to see her during that time, looking defeated when she’s usually one of the positive driving forces in this household. Several times, she wanted to just cancel any and all treatment, insisting she ‘felt’ fine, but eventually with a bit of pushing from my father and I and the doctors, she gave in and decided to get the large tumor removed through surgery. That took place two weeks ago. They were gone for about a week and a half and I spent most of that time by the phone waiting for news and information.  I’m ecstatic to say that it not only went well and my mother is on the mend, but they determined that her cancer is very likely gone. The operation removed an entire foot of her large intestine so they could collect all the polyps around it too, just to be sure, and her appendix went, as well. But they determined that her cancer, though it had pretty large growth, did not breach the walls of her intestine and therefore she did not need chemo or radiation treatment (which is good, because she flat-out refused to do it anyway). She’s in her 6-8 week recovery period now. Dad and I take care of her and make sure that she’s following her recovery steps. I know it’s frustrating for her, because she feels good and she wants to do all the things, but she’s taking things slowly and I’m proud of her. She’s been through a lot. She made it through. And it was a trying time for the family, but in the end, the results could not have been better. Things very well might have been catastrophic or too late if the cancer wasn’t discovered, but that wasn’t the case. She got treatment. She’s (hopefully) cured. Fast forward to yesterday. I'm back from out-patient surgery in the ER yesterday afternoon. What I thought was a sore throat and swelling (first started about 4 days ago) that I went to the local walk-in clinic to get checked out early yesterday morning turned out to be something called Acute Peritonsillar Abscess and it was taking over my throat/airway. They referred me to the ER about 30 mins away and I nearly had a break-down in their office, as it was not something I expected to hear when I went in. I had a CT scan for the first time in my life. An IV for the first time in my life. And then went through what was probably the singular most painful thing I've ever endured. When numbing solutions don't work because you have too many nerves in the back of your mouth and they try four times with different solutions to numb it without success? And they hold your head down when they come in with the needles? You're going to have a bad time. I was not at all prepared for what happened, but I'm thankful it was taken care of before the swelling got any bigger. I'm really grateful for the support I had from friends and the extra push not to let it go 'another day'. I will be recovering for a few days. Throat is still sore and doesn’t like solid foods. But I went to my follow-up today and the doctor said the swelling has gone down and she’s very pleased. She doesn’t think I’ll need to come back unless something worrisome happens and I just need to finish my 14-day antibiotic treatment. And on the bright side? They said that popsicles and ice cream are probably literally the best thing for me right now. So I get to enjoy some soft treats to numb the throat pain. Furthermore, as of this morning, I was approved for medical insurance. At last. I’ll be the owner of an official Medicaid card in 3 weeks and they will cover all of the surgery costs and even allow me to get reimbursement on my prescriptions. The lady who talked to me about it literally came to the operating room in the ER where I was and got my info and stuff right there. It was laughably easy compared to the hoops I was jumping through to get insurance up to this point. And then she called me back today, just a day after, saying I was approved and all set. I’m extremely happy for this. All in all, though 2019 really has been a kick in the face and elsewhere numerous times, there are some good things to come out of them, too, and I won’t forget that. I know most people are not here for personal stuff about me or my family, but I wanted to share this with those who do want to know what’s been happening and the friends I have here. I know I don’t share too much on tumblr (because I fled after the n s f w ban), but I’ve been in such a stressed state over it all this year that it was hard to get my feet on the ground and really share much until things were over and done with. Thanks for reading/listening! And I hope 2019 has been better to you folks. If it hasn’t, let’s all keep our heads up for and concentrate on the good stuff, if we can. It’s not easy. But we can try.

Have a lil Vesta for ur patience. Thank you.