This might not be right for everyone because getting invested in anything always opens you to the opportunity for disappointment and heartbreak, but honestly and surprisingly, one of the best things for my mental health has been my borderline territorial attitude towards the areas that I've lived in, by which I mean literally thinking like "EXCUSE ME. NO BAD THINGS IN MY JURISDICTION."
To the point that while I was at college, people from my hometown would tag me or send me articles whenever Some Bullshit was occuring in our area, and I would march back home the next break like "Who authorized this?" even though I was in my late teens/early twenties with no formal power or authority in my hometown area.
But for real, nothing gives you a greater sense of purpose or community than doing an art fundraiser for your hometown's old movie theater that may close; or using part of your break to help a small local bookstore move all their stock to a new place after the mall they were in closed and kicked out all the businesses at Christmas; or compiling lists of alternatives to plastic after your nearest city lost its recycling contract, etc.
The internet provides us a certain community, but there's really no substitute for caring about where you live and the quality of life of the people around you.
So if you're feeling like something is missing in life, maybe go out for a walk, pick up some litter, read some local flyers, check out a local newspaper, gossip with the shopkeepers, and see if there's a community need that you might be able to help fill. It just might help fill something empty in you in the process.
P.S. It's okay if you don't have the energy to "consistently" show up for your community like this. But from time to time, you might find it's nice to get out into the place you live in a world where it's more common to deeply know someone on the other side of the world through a cell phone app than it is to know your neighbors.
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Doing exercise when you’re chronically ill is a trip. At first I felt like I could NEVER do real exercise again. I hadn’t exercised in over 6 years. I was EXHAUSTED for the first two weeks, (and I’m sure that feeling will return once in awhile) but-
(this is a personal post, and sort of a vent I guess, but I just wanted to talk about my experience exercising with an illness and why I’m doing it. We see fit/conventionally attractive people talk about their illnesses but that’s often at odds with a lot of people we know personally with illnesses. Exercise can also seem at odds with illness itself, or it’s always therapy and maintenance rather than personal fulfillment because we don’t have time or energy for that.)
I started small, with less than five minutes of exercise a day on days that I wanted to draw, just so I could draw more without getting hurt, and I did draw more, and more because the exercise started being a stress relief method for my anxiety. I just wanted to be DOING something, literally anything that wasn’t being paralyzed with anxiety, so I would go for a walk or start doing my exercises like I was going to draw and hope that would make me calm down (and maybe even work lol.) I did these exercises consistently for about two months (I had been doing them inconsistently for about 6 months before that), and before long I was doing them every day because they were working for me. I was drawing almost every day!
Then I started considering that I should really work on my strength, because it would make my body healthier so I could draw more and maybe even be less achey all the time. Being in pain wasn’t scary to me anymore, and I wasn’t able to do anything else some days, so why not? So I started looking at low-weight routines and stuff that didn’t require any equipment that I could do at home. I looked into some dietary things too and decided I wouldn’t be risking too much, so I went ahead.
I’ve been doing bodyweight circuits for a little over a week now, after the first one I waited 4 days (and good thing I did because I was so sore I could barely walk), then I only waited one day (already dramatically less sore), and today is another Circuit day and I realized suddenly that I am out of food.
When your illness affects your ability to make or eat food, you find yourself planning around it a lot. I have Crohn’s and a limited diet, and I fantasized about food all the time, overwhelmed by dealing with it, annoyed by needing it, mourning the loss of it.
I find myself far less obsessed with food than I had been, because I am able to fill more of my time with things that make my body feel stronger and healthier and immediately gratified, even when I’m sick or flaring. My seasonal affective hasn’t been as bad. I worry a little that there might be something unhealthy about coping with anxiety BY exercising, but I find myself feeling less overwhelmed afterwards - my nervous energy expended somewhat, and I did something good for myself, and that’s pretty good progress for me.
This is not supposed to be a “see, exercise does help!” post because I don’t think that’s always true, and I don’t think that what I’m doing is something for every other spoonie either. The process of going from less than five minutes of stretches to bodyweight circuits has taken about two and a half months but it went quickly. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out how to get where I wanted to be with my work, and most of my decisions have been about “How do I improve at drawing? How do I make it easier for me to work on that more? What could I give up in favor of focusing on this goal? What else do I want?” and I’m still not where I want to be, but I am closer.
The full truth is that my medicine wasn’t working as well this summer and I was TERRIFIED. I’m terrified of going on a new medicine and my personality changing or being exhausted again or being bloated or hungry all the time. I’m terrified of the 75% chance of surgery associated with my disease. I started this month absolutely crushed by the thought that when I go to the doctor next week, he might say that I need an ostomy bag. In a single stroke, my entire life would change forever (again), and it clicked with me that I didn’t want to keep going this way, having done nothing for myself and feeling bad about what I had done with my life (nothing.)
I don’t know, it seems silly to be like “I wanted to get in shape because I didn’t want to feel ugly and worthless with an ileostomy bag” but like? That’s it, isn’t it? I want to be one of those hot people with ostomy bags, or a good artist with an ostomy bag, if that is to be my fate. It isn’t fair that I should feel like I have to “make up” for my disease, or justify it, or do something that makes others more comfortable with it, but I do right now. I don’t want to keep going in my life having done nothing for myself, either. I want to get my motorcycle license and learn coin tricks and wear more button up shirts with the sleeves cuffed and read fanfic and draw good shit and be desired and be powerhot and feel excitement beating out of my chest, even if I’m penniless and hungry and I have Crohn’s. I’m 28, I’m not dead. Hunger and pain I can deal with.
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Jonathan Taylor Thomas captured the hearts of millions as Randy Taylor on the hit sitcom Home Improvement. Once considered the poster boy of ’90s Hollywood, he suddenly left the spotlight, leaving fans wondering what happened to the teen heartthrob. Now, years later,…
The Art of Introspection: Unlocking Inner Fulfillment
“Pause. Reflect. Transform. The Art of Introspection is your path to clarity, purpose, and inner fulfillment. 🌟✨ #SelfReflection #InnerGrowth #ArtOfIntrospection”
Introspection is the key to understanding oneself deeply. It involves delving into the core of your being to uncover emotions, thoughts, and patterns that shape your life. In a fast-paced world filled with distractions, practicing…
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In what seems like the blink of the eye, the whole picture has changed out on my wonderful porch. Many days of summer were spent out on it.
Now, one need not look any further than the porch door to see the squirrels foraging for winter.
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