Im so anxious for monday you guys ><;;; I know I barely ever talk about myself on this blog, cause I don’t really like being in the spotlight, but... asjkhdskjhfdj im straight on nervous right now @___@;;;
On monday I will be getting a weight loss surgery, namely a gastric sleeve. It means 90% of my stomach will be removed forever., and will have the size of a small banana. I am looking so much forward to having a better live style, getting healthier and losing weight. But on the other hand I kinda get the feeling that I’m not sure what I’m getting into in regards of the new responsibilities despite me following group sessions and reading tons of stuff online. I just hope I will be able to cope with my new lifestyle, cause im sick of being overweight :( Everyone keeps calling me brave and telling me how much of a good thing it is that im doing this, and Im all like “haha... :’) yeah i sure am a brave bitch” BUT ACTUALLY *internal screech* But I guess this is all pre-surgery stress
Also, needles freak me tf out man. I know my day will begin with getting an infusion in my hand and fuck man, i look up to that more than the whole frickin surgery ;;w;; but I cant baby out just cause I look up to getting a needle in my hand ><;; isn’t it stupid that i keep thinking about the freaking needle, and not the surgery??? Like “haha, they’re gonna cut me open and remove a lot of my stomach. cool ;)” “Oh yeah, and you’re gonna get one(1) small tiny needle in ur hand” “;;;A;;; NOOOOOOOOAHJKDAHJHDAKH” Like, last time I had to get my blood tested for the surgery, i got super worked up and nearly cried, and the guy took 1.0 seconds to get my blood tested, and I barely felt it but fuck, even knowing it will be ok, i cant help myself. its such a great fear ;;n;; i cant think about needles without wanting to curl into a little ball and hide under the bed....
So yeah... wish me luck. I see a lot of people making weight loss journals talking about their journey... yeah, I’m not gonna do that >w>;; But if anyone of my followers is thinking about undergoing the surgery themselves or just wants to know what it’s like, or has questions for me, it’s OK to ask them! ^^ Feel free to ask or talk to me!
