I really want to finish that fic I started on when I was still experiencing brain fog, because the parts that are good are really good. Some of it has awesome illustrations even. I know in broad strokes what part goes where chronologically, it has a beginning, an ending. But I cannot for the life of me make all the scenes in the middle fit.
I tried printing it out. I tried printing it out several times the past few years, but those prints just end up as untouched piles of paper on the floor. I tried making an outline in a spreadsheet program and that becomes outdated before I even finish it.
Every time I work on it, I add a scene or neat concept that I think will fit well, and then it turns out I already added something very similar 8 paragraph further along, two years ago, and I don't know how to unravel this mess.
It doesn't help that my short term memory is still shit. I'm used to writing 5 page stories at most, and this is more than twice that. I've read the intro paragraphs a gazillion times, but I rarely get any further before my head fills up with static. So how am i supposed to compare the various paragraphs and how well they connect?
This story is very important for my character's arc, can't tell the ones that come after without it. It's also silly and poignant and full of pain and horror disguised as more silliness.
I want it outside of my head and into the world. But right now it's on the metaphorical floor, strewn about and a mess