#perfect high

Amanda "Perfect High" Icons

“It’s okay, I’m right here”

Bradley Simpson x fem!reader

Rating: PG-13

word count: 2.3K

Trigger warning: Drug use (heavily mentioned)

A/N: I was heavily inspired by the 2015 movie ‘Perfect High,’ it’s sort of intense but I recommend watching it – even if the writing is a little cringy like mine lol

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I don’t know if when we first met, it was fate or an accident.

It was late night; the party inside was getting too much for me to handle and I had decided to have a breath of fresh air. Everyone was smoking, I’m no stranger, hell sometimes I even supply. We had weed, cigarettes, even some other questionable substances. I didn’t know what was being passed around anymore, I was taking hits left and right, but I was reaching my limit, my current high not going away anytime soon.

When I had opened the door, I accidentally pushed someone forward, immediately I went to apologize, but his deep brown eyes were pulling me into a cloudy trance.

It felt as if I was swimming underwater, and he was there leading me through the waves. Some would say, that was love at first sight, but I knew better than that.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked, placing a hand on my shoulder to keep me from swaying. His touch was comforting, something different; but something that I liked. I smiled at this unidentified boy and leaned into his touch, his other hand moving to my waist, helping me keep my balance. “Her pupils are huge dude; I’ll get some water” another voice said. I raised my hand to salute the voice and leaned forward, losing balance all together – but the first boy was still there. “How high are you?” He asked, but it was different than what tone I was used to. I guess I took too long to answer as the hand on my waist led me to the closet chair, but I had other plans. “Let’s go swimming! Come on the weather is perfect!” I suggested, pulling his hand with me.

The unnamed boy followed me but stopped before I could jump in. “Let’s just sit, yeah? Want to get to know you some” he said, pulling me down; allowing me to still dangle my feet into the heated water. “Do you mind if I smoke? This head rush is killing me” I had asked the question but still proceeded to pull my cigarettes out of my clutch. “Be my guest” he muttered.

“So, what’s your name then?” He asked, sipping whatever he had in his cup. “I’m y/n, but everyone calls me Jelly,” he raised his eyebrow at me, clearly wanting an explanation for the childish nickname, but he was going to have to work for it. “What about you?” “Sorry, should have started with that, I’m Brad.” We sat in silence for a bit, I was lost in my own mind, the high slowly starting to come down and him infatuated with me.

Not soon after, his friend came back, to give Brad the water, and Brad to me. “How are you doing?” He asked as I basically gulped the water down, not realizing how dry my throat really was. “It’s starting to come down, thanks,” I said. “I’ve seen you around here before, can’t really place why,” Brad said, turning from the pool view to me. “Is that why you keep staring at me?” I asked, swinging my legs, feeling the water ripple around my ankles. “Didn’t you use to be on the cheer team?” He asked, avoiding my question. My breath hitched in my throat, I used to. It was the first thing I actually liked about the college we went to.

“I’ve never met you, how do you know that?” I laid down on the pavement surrounding the pool. Looking up at the clear sky. “We’ve gone to the same school for 2 years now y/n, I know your name” Brad responded. “What do you want? To tell me off? Ask me what happened? ‘Cause if you are, you can line up with everyone else” I said, collecting my things and walking off.

Over the next few weeks, I went spiraling again. I thought everyone had forgotten what happened. I mean, it was all over social media, I was humiliated.

4 months ago

We were performing at a football game and during one of our stunts, the ball was thrown in our direction, hitting me in the chest – I was pushed, and my bases had missed catching me. I tried catching myself, cradling so I wouldn’t get as much damage, but it led to a dislocated shoulder. After that, I was put on some pretty heavy pain relievers, it was supposed to help manage, but word got around.

I had met my friend, Margot. She saw me in the hallway taking a dose of pills and asked if I could spare one. Until that moment, I had never thought of abusing pills in that way. I was by no means a straight-A student or the star cheerleader. But I had promised my parents that when I went away to college I would take care of myself and never do anything dangerous.

Margot didn’t seem dangerous, she didn’t seem like she would do anything to hurt me. We started taking pills until I ran out of refills, but we always found more. I started hanging out with her friends, I started missing cheer and soon got kicked off the team. I had fallen into a depression, the one thing I enjoyed about college was now gone.

But Margot, Danny, Sean, and the pills were always there. They sympathized with me, they protected me, and soon, they became my crutch.

I haven’t seen any of them around school lately. It wasn’t strange for any of us to go off the grid, whether its something personal or not, but we would always talk. Until, this time. We didn’t – they didn’t. I would try, text, call, Instagram, you name it. I had lost all contact with the 3 people who meant most to me.

I lost everything.

Brad was always there though, he always found me whenever I was alone and he always came to me. We were developing a friendship, but it was hard. He wasn’t a perfect kid either, but he had a good head on his shoulders and would never touch the things I was doing. He sort of became my conscience, trying to help me with what I was going through.

That’s how we ended up here, in my dorm room, him holding my hair back as I threw up after a night of heavy drinking. I had slowly stopped the pills, with the help of a very patient Bradley, he was always there for me – stubbornly staying by my side as the worst of the withdrawals were happening. I had almost started spiraling, but he was always there for me, helping me out of the dark places.  But you can’t stop a habit unless you replace it with something else.  

I started smoking more, but he insisted I had moved to vape – it wasn’t much healthier, but Brad had said it was an improvement. I couldn’t just have that though, it didn’t alter my mind, it didn’t give me the same high I was so desperately craving.

We walked into a party, Bradley’s hand on my waist. Every time he touched me was like the first, but I knew he just wanted to keep me close – monitor what I was drinking tonight. It was sweet and kind that he was looking out for me so much, but I could tell he was getting tired of being sober all the time – just to babysit me.

A few hours in I was tipsy, not the usual drunk, but that’s because my best friend had taken my third bottle away, trying to get me to stop. “Bradley, if you don’t give me that bottle right now, I swear to god” I jokingly threatened, staring at him from across the pong table. “Jelly, you’ve had enough, come on” his voice sounded so tired like he was sick of having this argument. “Brad! I’ve only had two bottles! I can handle a third!” I yelled stepping closer trying to recover my bottle. He moved one arm back, and the other on my stomach keeping me at bay. I reached my arms up to try to grab the bottle again when I saw three people enter the party behind him.

And my heart broke into three pieces.

Bradley saw my eyes dilate, immediately knowing something was wrong. The longer I looked at the people who just entered the door, the more I got furious. Nothing could stop what I was going to do, not even him.

I marched up to Margot, Danny, and Sean – all three of them looking excited to see me. “Jel-“WHACK! The sound of the slap delivered to her cheek was enough to draw attention from everyone around us in this small room. Soon eyes were on us, but I wasn’t done yet.

“Where the fuck have you been” I screamed, tears already pooling in my eyes. Sean pulled Margot out of my reach, checking the damage to her now bruising cheek. “Y/n what the fuck was that?” Danny asked, placing his hands on my shoulders, but I brushed him off, moving to slap him too. He was too fast for me, just like he always has been. “It’s been 7 months! Where the fuck have you been?” I screamed. He opened his mouth to answer but I wasn’t done yet. “I have been waiting, I have been looking for my best friends to show up at school and things would go back to how they were. But you three all dropped off the face of the earth! Not a fucking call or text! No warning!” I yelled, tears freely streaming my face, ruining my makeup.

Bradley came behind me with my things in one hand and grasped my waist in the other. “Y/n let’s go. Come on.” But again, I pushed him off me. I was fuming, my blood boiling and my skin heating. “I have waited. For so long, just hoping for even a sign of life from any of you, and I get nothing.” I stared at my ex-boyfriend in the eyes, pupils dilated and red. He was high.

Shaking my head, I slowly backed away from him. “You’re fucking high, I – I can’t believe this” I whispered the last part before running out the front door and down the street. I didn’t know where I was going, but I needed to get out of there.

I kept running until I fell to my knees, scraping both and ruining my tights. I couldn’t believe they were there. Part of me was glad, they were alive. But I was heartbroken, I went 7 months without a single word from any of them. The optimistic part of me was hoping they were in rehab and weren’t allowed on their phones, but seeing how big Danny’s pupils were, I knew they left.

Without me.

I didn’t even try to stop the tears from falling down my eyes, I couldn’t stop them even if I tried. I felt like shit, I had sobered up, I knew what had happened. All these thoughts, all these emotions were swirling through my head – I couldn’t help it. I folded over and emptied my stomach.

As I laid there on the cool grass, I felt someone gently lift my head and place it in their lap. “It’s okay Jelly, I’m right here. I won’t leave you.”

At his words I just cried, letting my mascara stain my cheeks. I’ve never felt like this before, not even the withdrawals felt as shitty as this did. I felt as though my heart had physically been removed, ripped in two and placed back in my chest as separate pieces. His hand was soothing my hair, trying his best to comfort me.

Bradley and I laid there until the sun started coming up on the horizon. “Why did this have to happen? Why did they have to come back?” I asked, rubbing the black marks off my face. “I don’t know y/n, I wish I did, wish I could say anything,” he said. “I don’t understand why it had to be me, you know? Things were finally going okay. I stopped what they led me to, I was finally starting to feel better” I said. “I know Jelly, I know. But hey, I’m here, and I won’t leave you. I know what you’ve gone through, it was hell and back, and I guess this is the second wave. But look at you, you stopped doing pills! You’re not drinking as much, and you’re attending school more. You’re doing so much better than when I first met you. You’ve improved so much, you have that. What do those three have?” I smiled at his little inspiration speech. “A bruised cheek” I giggled, earning a smile from Brad.

I leaned into his embrace once more, listening to the sounds around me. The birds were starting to chirp, the warm breeze had picked up and the fountain was trickling. I was at peace, everything that had happened to me was in the past. I felt as though I had finally moved on, and I had Bradley to thank for that.

“You need to give yourself more credit Jelly. You’ve overcome so much; you’ve changed so much and it’s for the better. Words cannot express how proud of you I am” he whispered into my hair. “You’re my guardian angel Bradley. You’re the reason I’ve been doing so well, you’ve never left my side. Please, never leave me.” I held my pinky finger out, Brad shifted and linked his pinky with mine, “never, in a million years” he said, kissing my head.

There once was a boy named Gimme-Some-Roy... He was nothin' like me or you,

'cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do.

As a kid, he sat in the cellar...sniffing airplane glue. And then he smoked banana peels, when that was the thing to do. He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola, he breathed helium on the sly, and his life became an endless search to find the perfect high.

But grass just made him wanna lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,

and the great things he wrote when he was stoned looked like shit in the morning light.

Speed made him wanna rap all day, reds laid him too far back, Cocaine-Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back.

He tried PCP, he tried THC, but they never quite did the trick. Poppers nearly blew his heart, mushrooms made him sick. Acid made him see the light, but he couldn't remember it long. Hash was a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong. Quaaludes made him stumble, booze just made him cry, Then he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high.

Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat...lived high up in Nepal, High on a craggy mountain top, up a sheer and icy wall. "Well, hell!" says Roy, "I'm a healthy boy, and I'll crawl or climb or fly,

Till I find that guru who'll give me the clue as to what's the perfect high."

So out and off goes Gimme-Some-Roy, to the land that knows no time, Up a trail no man could conquer, to a cliff no man could climb. For fourteen years he climbed that cliff...back down again he'd slide . . .

He'd sit and cry, then climb some more, pursuing the perfect high.

Grinding his teeth, coughing blood, aching and shaking and weak, Starving and sore, bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak. And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat,

As there in repose, and wearing no clothes, sits the god-like Baba Fats.

"What's happenin', Fats?" says Roy with joy, "I've come to state my biz . . .

I hear you're hip to the perfect trip... Please tell me what it is. "For you can see," says Roy to he, "I'm about to die, So for my last ride, tell me, how can I achieve the perfect high?"

"Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats. "Another burned out soul, Who's lookin' for an alchemist to turn his trip to gold. It isn't in a dealer's stash, or on a druggist's shelf... Son, if you would find the perfect high, find it in yourself."

"Why, you jive mother-fucker!" says Roy, "I climbed through rain and sleet,

I froze three fingers off my hands, and four toes off my feet! I braved the lair of the polar bear, I've tasted the maggot's kiss. Now, you tell me the high is in myself? What kinda shit is this?

My ears, before they froze off," says Roy, "had heard all kindsa crap; But I didn't climb for fourteen years to hear your sophomore rap. And I didn't climb up here to hear that the high is on the natch, So you tell me where the real stuff is, or I'll kill your guru ass!"

"Okay...okay," says Baba Fats, "You're forcin' it outta me... There is a land beyond the sun that's known as Zabolee. A wretched land of stone and sand, where snakes and buzzards scream, And in this devil's garden blooms the mystic Tzutzu tree.

Now, once every ten years it blooms one flower, as white as the Key West sky,

And he who eats of the Tzutzu flower shall know the perfect high. For the rush comes on like a tidal wave...hits like the blazin' sun. And the high? It lasts forever, and the down don't never come.

But, Zabolee Land is ruled by a giant, who stands twelve cubits high, And with eyes of red in his hundred heads, he awaits the passer-by. And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the river of slime, Where the mucous beasts await to feast on those who journey by. And if you slay the giant and beasts, and swim the slimy sea, There's a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards the Tzutzu tree."

"Well, to hell with your witches and giants," says Roy, "To hell with the beasts of the sea--

Why, as long as the Tzutzu flower still blooms, hope still blooms for me."

And with tears of joy in his sun-blind eyes, he slips the guru a five, And crawls back down the mountainside, pursuing the perfect high.

"Well, that is that," says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone, Facing another thousand years of talking to God, alone. "Yes, Lord, it's always the same...old men or bright-eyed youth... It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to tell them the truth."

It's as though my feet have turned to lead, my legs have turned to jelly, the dizziness takes over, and I'm lost in my fresh hit.

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