#perfdeanw

i saw this long response just now, and i can’t reblog it because someone in the thread has (rightly) blocked me. so i gotta reply like this. i just want to thank the people who made these particular responses so thoughtful, dissecting my post rather than just attacking me.

everything said in the responses are things i agree with now. the original post was made senselessly, thoughtlessly, with more thought given to what tinhatting cockles shippers would think of it than literally anything else. i regret pretty much every word of what i wrote, especially the way i said it like it was some kind of fact.

all of it was a skewed interpretation of things i didn’t quite know how to process. i was much younger, much less aware of what i thought i understood. there was a lot of WRONG INFORMATION in there. it’s not opinion, it’s just wrong.

for the record, a huge amount of the reblogs on that post are from people who hate the post and reblogged it to add hate. so not all those notes are shippers.

despite (because of?) the anger i received from people for this post, it actually taught me a lot regarding respect for other people, particularly celebrities. for some reason that little nugget of common sense slipped my mind at the time. i’m very, very sorry for causing so much anger and upset. my apology is to the fandom, who remains family to me, and to Jensen, who remains a stranger to me. but also thank you to those who were angry, for teaching me exactly how i fucked up. hopefully i’ll never make a mistake like this again.

(i don’t expect the reblogs of that post to stop, or the comments to stop, and unfortunately deleting the post would do nothing now. i’mma close my inbox to anons for a while, i know i fucked up, i don’t need to hear it a bunch more times)

In all honesty, I’m probably too weak to follow thru with that. I wish I could tho. It’s killing me to see the writers piss on Dean every.damn.ep. now. Last ep was the worst case so far or maybe just seems like it bc so much has been piled on. First he gets taken down by some random human, gets kidnapped & gets knocked down in the big fight while someone else bursts in for the kill. Has all this happened to him before? Yes. He’s human. It’s to be expected. But this isn’t a rarity like it used to be, it’s THE DAMN NORM OF S12. The disrespect of Dean is so blatant & predictable that every ep since like ep 4 my TL is filled w stuff like “Dean will be AWOL, guest star will get the kill, Dean will be on the floor half the fight...etc” & it happens. Then w the colt we were all saying it was going to get knocked out of his hand & Sam would use it. 

They can’t tell us it’s in our head or we’re overreacting. It didn’t happen on just a few eps, it’s been consistent. Dean is utterly irrelevant & unimportant to the season. If you take him out, nothing big would be different. The season arcs; BMOL is tied up around Sam & Mary. Satan spawn is Cas’ mission (aka an excuse to get rid of him for a bunch of eps) & the brothers just lose the baby mama when they’re involved. The canon throw back eps, Sam got the kills. So what the hell is Dean’s purpose this season? He’s either not there at all when the fight goes down or he’s on the floor. 

Sam’s had more of the arcs over the series but even when the arc of the season was Sam’s Dean still mattered to the overall plot & in past seasons he’s shined in MOTW eps...but S12...nada. 

I’m at that point too. I’ve always understood why Jensen stayed when he was offered roles that, career-wise, would have prob been better than Spn. His love of Dean is like no other actor/character that I’ve seen. He has a good working environment. He’s comfortable there. He never took other roles before bc he wasn’t ready to give Dean up any more than we were, but that’s different now. S12 is so Dean light & shitting on Dean...what’s he really giving up now if he takes the next offer? It srsly breaks my heart. I always thought I’d wanna see him play Dean for as long as they’d let him. I never imagined part of me (an ever enlarging part) would be begging for it to end.

I'm so afraid that's exactly what's going to happen. Dean will be angry, Cas will be snarky and Sam will be long-suffering. And in the end, Dean will just have to "stow his crap". I might just die from shock if Dean ever gets a honest apology.

Yes, back to the important things; Dean love!

First, much appreciated allowing 3 bc yup, already tough enough lol.

His immutable loyalty to loved ones. Ik recently I did a post saying it was prob his biggest flaw as much as an asset & that opinion stands but it doesn’t make it a bad quality at all. I only say it is a flaw bc aspects of his life could have been better if he wasn’t so loyal & he’d have gotten hurt less. Now why it’s a good quality; it’s really beautiful & quite rare. A lot of ppl don’t even have basic loyalty anymore & Dean’s able to keep his under immense circumstances. Once you’re in Dean’s inner circle you’re there for good. He’s not turning his back on you. He’s thrown himself to the wolves countless times for Sam. He killed his way thru Purgatory looking for Cas then refusing to leave him even tho Cas put a bigger target on them. Look how he acted with John; willing to follow him to the gates of Hell if need be. S11 being completely adamant abt getting Cas back before using Lucifer as a weapon. Bobby, he respected him like a 2nd father & was willing to do anything for him.

His sense of humor. Dean will go from being a total perv to making lame dad!jokes to being silly like a 7 year old. And his sarcasm & one liners are always on point. I like it bc he’s funny but also bc it shows his complex nature. Dean’s this tough guy with a lot of baggage & that type is a dime a dozen in fiction but they’re usually brooding & snarky & that’s all. Dean’s humor is layered just like his character.

I think Dean is easily the most caring characters. With Sam & Cas he’s always in the care-taker role. He was so sweet & gentle with Charlie. And look how he was with Claire last ep; between being protective of her against bar douche bags & getting so upset when he thought she was dying he needed air. And he shows a great deal of it with perfect strangers. He seems very good at knowing whether someone needs a kind gesture or a kind word. I loved in 8x9 how he didn’t say a word to Benny’s granddaughter, he just stopped, put a bandanna to her wound & gave her a reassuring touch on the shoulder. Then other times he knows words are needed & he ends up telling smth personal abt him that helped or smth. This guy TALKED Amara down from ending the world bc he empathized with her. 

I saw the pix, but I was confused bc ppl on my TL were saying Cas stole it. Did I miss a spoiler or was that speculation? I thought that too. Like ok, who else are they gonna let use the colt before Dean gets to shoot it again? Random guest star #3? I mean, Cas is more important than a random guest star of course, but it just seems to be another thing on the list of “shit taken away from Dean” this season. And it doesn’t make sense actually. When the hell has Cas used a gun when he had his angel mojo? And, unless I’m really misremembering, can’t angel blades kill anything the colt can? Why would Cas even need the colt? Granted, they’re just pix so maybe he’s not even using it & just has it in his hand for w/e reason.

I was cool with a Cas centric ep until I saw the promo pix. It looks like it’s gonna be nothing but a Luci baby mama drama ep & I got no interest in that. The thing that angered me more than the promo pix was the preview after last ep. Sam is shooting a gun & Dean is in his typical S12 location, on the floor. It sounds odd saying this bc I aways thought all Dean was good Dean, but tbh I prefer S12 AWOL Dean over S12 knocked on the ground Dean. At least when he’s just gone he’s not being made to look incompetent like some amateur hunter who got in the game yesterday.

(cont.) I want to share more Jensen appreciation and I’m looking for more blogs to follow who love Jensen and appreciate him for who is - and also speak up if someone acts like an asshole towards him. I think I’m at the right place here :) Can you recommend other blogs for more Jensen appreciation?

Yup. I bounce b/t being annoyed, pitying them & laughing. I’m certainly not shy on using foul language but if your argument lead is “shut the fuck up” ya really don’t have a good case lol. And I’m still laughing at being told to “get a life” by someone who evidently dislikes my posts yet claims to know the norms of my blog. Agreed. Like they say; the truth hurts.