#peoniesnro

Yes, he wants to get this done. Quickly. So, he can go back to you.

Jimin averts his gaze to the woman on the opulent queen size bed in the VIP hospital room. The moment he had stepped inside this room, one of his suspicions vanished. This—what Seoyeon had let him know—wasn’t a trick. Not one of many plans of Kim Liya. She’s actually sick. She looks small bundled in white sheets. Face the color of ash and lips matching her face. Eyes sunken. She looks weak. Weak like you did. It has happened so gradually and slowly Jimin hasn’t realized how much you’ve started to glow lately. Becoming healthy. He certainly hasn’t realized that Liya was losing it. 

Fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

He doesn’t know what to do. Like you said, neither him nor you would ever want to see Liya wither into dust. But he doesn’t know how to make it right. That’s why he should talk to her, which he hasn’t done until this very moment. He hasn’t spoken a single word to his ex-girlfriend. Maybe he should now. Ask—

“I want you to help me.” Before Jimin could finish the thought, Liya’s weak voice rises above the other faintest of noises. Yet despite how weak her voice is, there’s an edge to it. Despite how inaudible her voice is, there’s an order laced to the tone. She’s not requesting it. She’s demanding. Like she always had. From the beginning of their relationship to the end. And now? Even after their relationship. 

Jimin has to clench his jaw so he wouldn’t snap at her. Back then, when they were a couple, Jimin had felt bad whenever they fought about not meeting Liya’s commands—which she believed to be requests. No more though. He leans forward in the chair he’s been sitting, placed next to Liya’s bed. He braces his forearms on his knees, eyes directly on the woman in front of him.

“Why would I do that?” Asks calmly as he can. 

“Because, you owe me that—”

Jimin knows what she’s about to say even before she could start. “I owe you nothing.” So, he interrupts her before she finishes that damn sentence. Because, he doesn’t. Doesn’t owe her anything. Not that he’s defending his actions to cheat on her. No. No matter what had happened. No matter what game she played, Jimin wasn’t entitled to do that. And he never meant to do that. He’d forever think about the million other ways how he could’ve done this right. Yet, he’s not going to be in her debt. Like he had done all the time. All because he believed she made him. 

What a pathetic lie that he’d believed.

When you first told him the truth, he felt stupid. So stupid that he wanted to hide. Away from you. Away from the world. How could someone be so idiotic to believe in a lie for that long. Allowed  to be manipulated so hard. He had felt like a kid who got tricked by his own parents. How embarrassing? Yet, in the end, there was the relief to finally know that he wasn't a loser like he thought. 

Still, that matter is something he wishes never to speak with someone. Even with Liya. Especially with Liya. Hence his silence as he gapes at her pale face. Liya, though, is a smart woman. It’s not always a necessity to tell her things word by word. In that pure silence, she understands. Or realizes. Her next words are proof of it. 

“I did what I had to do.” 

“Are you kidding me?” Jimin yet again fails to keep his voice at bay. To refrain from snapping. It’s just too much. “What you had to do?” He straightens up, a hand stretched toward the closed door. “You mean you had to get a man so you’d be even with your damn best friend? You had to?” Jimin grits his teeth. He can’t start yelling here. No. Not here. “Isn’t that fucking stupid, Liya? Aren’t you even feeling sorry for her? You did everything you could do to compete with her. You never saw her as a friend. And she’s the only one you have. Even though she knows that, she’s here. She’s here for you. You’re an awful friend. And you say you fucking had to do that? You did that to me and Seoyeon too.” 

Even with everything else, Jimin would always admire Seoyeon for that. For being with Liya even though she knows that she’ll never get the same treatment. Seoyeon, in that sense, is an amazing person. 

A silence falls over following his words. Then Liya mumbles with another deep breath. Voice weak. “You won’t understand. I did what I had to do.” 

Jimin can only scoff. There’d be no changing of her mind. She’ll never admit her own flaws. What a waste of time and words? Why would he care anyways. “Well, good for you, Liya. But I still don’t owe you anything.” He says a bit calmly this time. Ready to get to his feet. Not wanting to hear it anymore. But Liya rushes to stop him. 

“That’s not the same as cheating.” She barks. Apparently puts all her remaining strength into that she immediately winces. 

“I never said it was.” Jimin agrees with her right away. “If I owe you anything, Liya…then that means you owe me as well.” This time Jimin manages to get to his feet. Only to be stopped when Liya yells through her lungs. Weak or not, she makes Jimin flinch.

“Then you owe me for this!” She gestures at her body. “You’re maybe allowed to replace me in your life, but you’re not entitled to do that to me in my life. This is my life. You can’t steal it from me.” Continues as Jimin freezes in his spot. There they go. Finally, on the topic. The reason why Jimin is here. “You owe me my life, Park Jimin.” She finishes in a quiet whisper. 

Jimin takes a minute. He can still walk away. Not giving a fuck about this. But… but… she looks like she's minutes apart from withering into dust. And he doesn’t want that. You don’t want that. He has to listen. See what he can do. He heaves a heavy sigh. “What happened?" Asks without bothering to take a seat again. 

“The same thing that happened to Li.” Liya doesn’t ask Jimin to sit back either. She keeps her eyes directly on his. 

“B-but how?” Jimin furrows. “They said only one—”

“And that one is me, Jimin.” Liya shifts in her position, with a great effort. “From now on, the one who’s going to be doomed is me.” Seethes. “She’s not going home anymore, is she? She’s stuck here?” 

Though that's a question, Jimin feels it’s more of a statement. He doesn’t know how she got to know that. There won’t be any benefit in lying, however. Jimin stays silent. And Liya takes that as a yes. 

“Apparently…” Liya carries on. “That’s because something has changed. Because she has a purpose now. I don’t know what that is. Maybe it’s you... She has a reason to wake up everyday. But, I don’t, Jimin. I’m losing my purpose. Any reason to wake up every day and she’s replacing me.” 

Her words hang in the air. Jimin sucks in a breath. He has to fight the urge to fall back into the seat. Well, this is what they’ve expected. Yet deep down Jimin wanted this to be something else. Something that has nothing to do with his selfishness. Greediness. Something that has nothing to do with you. 

You got a purpose! 

He gapes at Liya while her words echo in his head. You got a purpose. Is it really him? The whole reason behind why you stopped shifting between the two worlds. He doesn’t know what to say. What to ask. His tongue is tied. 

“We—how—it’s not like I was your purpose, Liya.” Jimin finally manages to stutter. 

“Maybe you were a part of it, Jimin.” Her eyes blaze as she regards Jimin. If she could, she'd definitely kill him. “And it’s not just you I lost. With you…I lost my whole life. I don't know who told you the agreement between my father and everything else, but I’m glad they did so I don’t have to explain this. You already know what happened and what will happen. My father will disown me. Forfeit me of his inheritance. And—” She gulps hard. “And they’ll vote me out as the CEO of The SE. I don’t care about his inheritance but I’d lose my company, Jimin. I’d lose my purpose. I am losing my purpose.” 

With that Liya manages to make Jimin suck in a breath. “But that’s bullshit. You manage the company so fucking well. You made that company.” Rest aside, Jimin knows that’s the truth. Liya could be many things but she never was a failed leader. It’s ridiculous that anyone would want to fire her from the company. Specifically, when she’s doing so damn great. 

“Say that to the board.” Liya’s eyes burn with a fire. Yet, she looks helpless. As if no matter how much anger or fire is there within her, nothing could help her. Nothing would change the situation. 

“They can’t just do it without a reason.” Even when he says that, Jimin knows they can. Liya’s father is the king of this kingdom and others will follow his decision blindly, without reasons. Liya rolls her eyes. 

“We both know they can,” She scoffs. “And they have a reason.” Mutters. Eyes back on Jimin. “It’s not just you who suffered from the recent events, Jimin. I did too. Even when I’m the one who got cheated.” Another tiny scoff. “Still some stupid people out there are taking your side. Boycotting me and spreading hate. Rumors. They even say it wasn’t me who dated you from the start. And—” She gulps. None of these are news to Jimin. He knows it has been. Has been avoiding social media and other forms of gossip sites, and news up to this very day. But he knows what people are saying. “And it’s affecting the sales, Jimin. So, they do have a reason to fire me. They’ll do it.” 

Unfair.

That’s not fair at all. He, out of all people, knows how hard it is to manage a business. The amount of time that’d be sacrificed. The hard decisions and stress. And to lose that just because you got cheated?

Outrageous.

How could Kim do that when he knows it as well? When he knows how capable Liya is?

Fuck, this is all his fault. He created this mess. So he gives up being hostile. Maybe, just maybe, like you said, he can help to fix it. 

“What’s the plan?” At the end of Liya’s ramble he asks. This time a tad gently. Liya doesn’t answer him. Her face gives away nothing. Then after a long second, she sighs. 

“Help me convince him—the board, and my father that we’re still together.” Words leave her mouth like a tidal wave. Jimin’s jaw hangs open slightly as those words hit him. Liya, however, doesn’t notice that. Or she doesn’t care about that. “The rules were simple. All I had to do was keep you as my boyfriend. Cheating was not a problem. I mean it was, especially when the public got to know it. But my father never said anything about you just cheating. It was all about you leaving me for someone else.” She takes a deep breath. Finally, turns to look at him. “So, help me—”

“No!” Jimin’s voice booms across the hospital room. He doesn’t intend to say the word so loud but it can’t be helped it seems. Liya has lost her mind. Jimin can’t believe the audacity. The sheer absurdity. “Are you fucking kidding me, Liya? Do you hear yourself?” 

“I—” Liya does her best to sit up on the bed. As if doing so would make Jimin agree to the stupid request of her. “Am not joking, Jimin. This is about my life. Why would I be joking about my life?” 

Jimin chuckles. Not a scoff but a chuckle. One more minute in this conversation would get him laughing. “Well, still no, Liya. That’s ridiculous and I—” He stops himself. A deep breath. He doesn’t think there’s a point in humoring this idea in any way. So, with a shake of his head, Jimin retrieves a step. “I’m sorry, Liya. I’d be happy to help you in any other way. Maybe, come up with another plan. I’m not going to pretend to be your boyfriend.” 

“Why the hell not.” Liya barks. Her delicate fists have gripped the sheets so tight that her knuckles have turned white. Jimin drops his gaze from her face to her hands for a second. Now, he knows this must be damn hard for her. Asking—begging for help. From him out of all people. This must be hurting her ego as if she’s physically getting crushed under a boulder. Then to be rejected? He can’t imagine the mortification. Liya wasn’t raised to take ‘No’s for an answer. Hasn’t raised to be rejected. Jimin knows this is painful for her. Yet, he’s not going to do it. No. He’s not going to mess things up with you even for a second. You’re the most previous things to him. Everything and anything else can be doomed. Even if it makes him evil than he already is. 

“Because we broke up, Liya. I went on public and claimed that I cheated on you and we’re no longer in a relationship—” 

“That’s not a problem. You can say it was a mistake.” Liya doesn’t let him finish talking. Frustration bubbles inside Jimin. He should leave or else he’d be causing a scene in here. Which won’t be good for him. 

“You’ve gone crazy, Liya. Just listen to yourself.”

“Oh c’mon… it’s not that hard you know? You did this to me. You and your little—”

“Watch your words, Liya.” Jimin finally yells. Not giving a fuck about people hearing or how it’d affect him. “I won’t just sit back and listen to you fucking insult her every day.” 

It’s Liya’s time to chuckle this time. “Gosh I can’t believe this. What does she have that you’re so blind by her, Jimin…” She shakes her head. Seemingly in disbelief. Yet she doesn’t wait for him to reply. To say all those millions of things he could say about you in answer to her question. Starting from your smile to ending with your little huffs you let out when you’re annoyed at him. From your every ‘Hi’ to your every ‘Bye’. She starts talking again. “Well, you did it before.” She changes the topic of the conversation. “With her. You made her pretend like me and you pretended to be her boyfriend. When you weren’t in love with her. So why can’t you do it again?” 

Jimin doesn’t know if he wasn’t in love with you back then. He knows that he liked you, however. Liked the way you looked at him with such wide eyes that first day—not that he liked the fact you were in such distress. But you had it in with you. That magnet which pulled him in. He liked the way you bickered with him. The way you dressed. The way you looked at him. And everything else. Maybe it wasn’t love. But to answer Liya’s question, “Because neither was I with you.” He chooses the primal truth. 

A silence falls in the room. Liya doesn’t care about the fact that Jimin didn’t love her. He knows it. So does she. His words don’t hurt her. She only cares about getting him to agree. Which is why he should just leave now. “I’m not doing it, Kim Liya. I want to help you. I do. Not this way. Find another way and ask me again.” With that he turns around. Takes a step away. 

“Jimin!” Liya yells his name, causing him to stop again and  turn his head. Just gazing at her with a questioning stare. Liya, though, doesn’t say anything. Just stare back at him with a look torn between a heated glare and a plea. Yet, she doesn’t voice it out. Nothing. Good. Since, Jimin doesn’t want to hear her beg as well. Not that she’ll ever do that anyway. 

He waits a few seconds in that silence, giving Liya the chance to say whatever she wants if she’s going to. When nothing comes up he finally turns his head away. Steps out of the hospital room while Liya’s gaze burns a hole in the back of his head. 

He does want to help her. He has meant his words. But not this way. He won’t risk anything. He won’t let anything complicate you and him. Nothing. Not a person. Not a business. Not god damn anything in this world. He’s not going back to the place where he had to just look at you from afar whenever someone is with you in the room. When he couldn’t touch you, kiss you as he wished. No. 

He doesn’t even care what that makes of him. Being selfish no longer makes him want to jump out of a bridge. He’d be selfish over and over again. He just wants you and that’s it. 

Jimin walks in utter silence through the short passage that connects the room with the lobby. Only the thoughts inside his head thundering. Maybe this trip is a complete waste. He shouldn’t have come. He should’ve known that Liya is going to request something ridiculous. With a heavy sigh, Jimin almost turns around the corner to the lobby when a voice comes from behind him. 

“Are you going to let the poor child die, darling?” 

……………………………

You groan deeply as you open your eyes to witness the soft streaks of sunlight leaking into the apartment. You could’ve done with a couple more hours of sleep but the voices coming from the kitchen are getting louder and louder. 

“Fucking hell! How the hell can I make this work?” That’s definitely Jimin who’s whisper-yelling. Or at least he might be thinking he’s doing that when in reality he’s speaking so loud that it woke you up. 

“What?” Then there’s Jungkook who’s refusing to keep his voice any lower than Jimin. “I told you million fucking time that you need to hold it like this. Are you dumb? How are you a CEO when you’re stupid like a chicken?” 

“It’s not my fucking fault you have a broken coffee machine that needs a rocket scientist to get it to work.” Jimin gasps. Yet again not so quietly. 

You should be offended that they are being stupid. The reaction you’re letting out, however, is a grin that’s so wide and foolish you have to bite on your lower lip to keep it contained. It’s not everyday that Jimin stays at Jungkook’s. Mainly because you want to respect Jungkook’s feelings and Jimin wants to respect yours. And you know he doesn’t want to hurt Jungkook intentionally either. But whenever Jimin stays for the night, this type of conversation never goes without occurring. 

You roll onto your side. Ready to wake up. Going back to sleep would be useless when there are two idiots who are arguing over a coffee machine. You feel fairly fine when you stay laid and not moving your body very much. When you try to sit back, though, you feel as if every cell of your body has swollen and your limbs have grown heavy. 

Fuck, you’re so tired!

You have been for weeks now. And it keeps worsening with every passing day. The things happening in your life aren't helping your situation either. It’s been two weeks since Jimin has returned from his trip to Milano. With the news that Liya in fact wasn’t lying. That she and you had somehow reversed your roles. Now she’s the one who’d be in pain any time someone mistook her to be you. It’s crazy. No. Not just crazy. It’s freaking terrifying. You’ve felt your legs buckle and your insides vacating for a second when you first heard the story. The thing is though, you don’t know any way to help her. Especially since her plan is absurd. 

One thing is certain. You don’t want to sit back and watch Jimin go back to being her boyfriend again. Even for pretense. You don’t want to watch them go in for dinners, talking to the media—claiming that they were back together or anything else that’d make people believe in these bullshits. No you won’t survive that. Still you want to help her. You want her safe. Doing whatever she wants to do with her life. You’re the bitch who caused all these complications. So you want to fix them. Then you’ll at least have the peace of mind that everything worked out just fine in the end. 

Yet, no matter how hard you think you find no way of helping her. You know it’s bugging Jimin as well. The first few weeks after he returned he’s been so distant. Lost in his own head. Distracted. You couldn’t blame him. You both are feeling the same thing. Still, unlike you, Jimin has pulled his shit together. Maybe he’s got a plan. Or just like he told you, he believes that Liya would find another way. He’d help her with it if he could. So would you. Until then, all you can do is wait. It’s scary but it’s all you got. Like how it has been all these months. 

With a heavy sigh, you force your aching body to sit up before you stretch your body out of the mattress. The little squabble of two men still going inside the kitchen. 

“Just hold it that way, man.” Jungkook bellows. His tone is nothing but a mix of real frustration.

“I am holding it that way. It’s fucking broken.” Jimin’s voice, equally full of different kinds of frustration, closely follows. “This is too much to deal with in the morning. You need a new coffee maker.” Adds. Oh, you agree. You’ve struggled with the said thing a lot at first as well. 

“I don’t.” Jungkook refuses to take Jimin’s advice right away. You don’t know why Jungkook is reluctant to replace the damn thing anyway. 

“You do.” Jimin doesn’t back away it seems. You start padding toward the kitchen slowly. Barefoot and relishing in the coldness of the floor. 

“I fucking don’t, Park.” 

“Imma buy you a new one.”

“Imma kick you out of my house.” 

Jimin gasps so loud just as you step in the doorway. The sight of Jimin’s offended face which is gaping at Jungkook’s greet your sleepy eyes. Jungkook has his hand on the coffee machine, holding it the way it should. 

“You’re such a brat, Jeon Jungkook. You should be honored that the CEO of RUN is making coffee in your stuffy kitchen.” Jimin at last says with such a dramatic shake of his head that anyone who doesn’t hear the words they’re exchanging would surely think they’re a couple about to break up. Jungkook snorts at that very unpleasantly. They don’t even notice your presence. 

“Honored? That’s the best joke of the year. And did you call my kitchen stuffy you stupid—”

“Seriously guys!” You interrupt whatever insult that’s about to leave Jungkook’s pretty lips. At your unexpected voice, both men snap their heads toward you. A bit startled. They both spend a minute blinking at your face. Then at the same time they point a finger at each other. 

“He started it!” So do they yell in unison. You roll your eyes as you finally step inside the kitchen. 

“It doesn’t matter,” You grumble, not really annoyed but finding their fight utterly stupid. “You woke me up.” 

Both of their faces fall as you watch. Jimin’s the first one to approach you, however. The freshly made black coffee in his hands. “I’m so sorry baby. How about coffee as an apology?” He pouts. Makes you grin. 

“Well, that sounds acceptable.” You take the steaming mug from his hand. 

“Sorry, Noona.” Jungkook mumbles as well. In the middle of the process of making a second cup of coffee. “But he started it.” Adds nonetheless. 

You shake your head in resignation before you say to Jimin, “Don’t try to convince him to buy a new one. Useless. He won’t throw that away even if you threaten him with his life.” 

Jungkook narrows his eyes at you. “Yes, because it’s perfectly fine. Don’t tell me having a rich boyfriend has gotten into your head, Noona.” 

“Of course, not.” You defend yourself immediately. It’s Jimin’s time to narrow his eyes at you. You give him a look of apology. It works. He doesn’t argue back. Instead walks over to Jungkook to take the next cup of coffee. Only to lose it by milliseconds when Jungkook grabs it faster than him.

“Yah!” Jimin yells. Jungkook pats his shoulder without a care. 

“Learn how to make your own coffee, Mr Park!” He says as he practically storms away from the kitchen. As if despite his words he’s afraid that Jimin would snatch the precious cup out of his hand. 

“I know how to make my damn…coffee…” Jimin mumbles into Jungkook’s retrieving back. Then his eyes turn to you. Looks like a wounded puppy. Or more of a child that is asking justice from his mommy. “Didi you see that? He’s a fucking brat.” 

You let yourself giggle as you take the matters into your own hand. Ready to make the next cup of coffee by yourself. “Why the fuck are you two look like a enemies to lovers trope?” You place the cup on the drip tray. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jimin questions, stepping behind you and curling his arms around you. Palms on your belly over your hoodie. You’re close to starting your second trimester. Yet there’s no showing still. Lately, you and Jimin have both become obsessed with checking for a baby bump. Silly. You do it anyway, though. 

“This is exactly how enemies to lovers book tropes start. They fight like cats at first and then they fall in love.” You explain, making Jimin scoff.

“Over my dead body.” He rubs your tummy gently. “What about us? We fought a lot? Are we enemies to lovers?” Asks on the second thought. You take a minute to consider the question. Shake your head. 

“No. I never hated you.” 

“Me neither.” Jimin agrees. His chin now on the top of your head. You both know that’s the truth. You liked him from the first day. Maybe he did too. The thing is, however, that neither of you wanted to acknowledge it. Simply because it was wrong. So wrong to be in love when he had someone in his life. Maybe both of you wanted to avoid this type of situation. Situation where there’s always something that’ll get destroyed no matter what. Including Liya. You try your best to push thoughts about Liya away from your head. Impossible. She’s plaguing your mind day and night. You wonder how Jimin does it. Act normal when he knows that he’s a partial cause of someone’s doom. 

“Want breakfast?” Jimin’s sudden voice brings you back to the earth. Liya slowly fades away. You pout hard, letting your body decide whether it wants to eat this morning or want to throw up at the sound of food. It doesn’t. Luckily your body has started to get accustomed to the notion of food again. You’ve been able to stomach most of the food, most of the time. You’d get sick of some tastes and aromas, of course. Especially in the mornings. This day seems to be a good day that you feel nothing but hunger at Jimin’s proposition. 

You nod eagerly causing Jimin to giggle. His body vibrates lightly at the act. You press more into his body. You may have tried to avoid being the doom of someone. Yours or Liya’s. But still you know you’d do it again. Do it a million different times if it gets you wrapped up in his arms. 

“What do you want?” Jimin mumbles in your ear. Your heart feels warm. So warm. You hum in contemplation. Going through different food options in your head until your brain stops and refuses to move away from a particular one.

“Pancakes,” You gush. Mouth already watering. Ever since your body starts to accept food again, you’ve grown fond of sweets in a very unhealthy way. “With syrup.” So you add. “Lots of em.” 

You can feel Jimin’s smile. “Right away.” He places a kiss on the top of your head. Almost moves away from you when you hear Jungkook yelling, probably from his room. 

“If anybody is making pancakes….” He’s practically shouting for his life. “They better make some for me as well. I meant it when I say I can kick anyone out.”

Both you and Jimin gasp this time. Only Jimin answers Jungkook. “Fuck you! I’m not making you anything!” He screeches so loud that you wince through your laugh. 

Despite your words earlier, you know Jungkook and Jimin are no more friends than you and Liya. They’re just tolerating each other. Mainly, Jungkook is tolerating Jimin. Because it puts you in ease. It does. Partially, however. You won’t be at peace when you know it must be terribly hard on Jungkook. Even though he doesn’t show it. He’s a good actor anyway. You know it hurts. He just acts as if it doesn’t. Hell, he’s been the one to ask Jimin to stay over last night. Claiming he wanted to beat Jimin’s ass on this video game which is owned by Jimin himself. 

You have no idea what’s going inside his head. Don’t know how he’s doing that. You want to scream at him. Ask him to stop just trying to take care of you so much. Walking into the lengths where it hurts, hurts, and hurts. Only if you had the courage to have that long due talk though. You are yet to tell Jungkook that you’d be moving out. That selfish part of you isn’t letting you take that step. The greedy part—the coward inside you is taking every and each excuse to avoid having that conversation. 

You should do it soon. Before it’s too late. You really should—

“What is it?” Jimin puts an end to your trail of thoughts again, probably sensing that you’re troubled. His cheek replaces the chin on top of your head. Nestling more into you. You suppress the huge sigh that’s about to leave you. Not wanting to taint the mood. Yet before you can claim it’s nothing, Jimin questions you again. “Is it Liya?”

So you allow the sigh to escape. No need to lie. Not to Jimin anyways. “Yes, that and…” Another sigh. “And Kook. I have to talk to him and I know I have to do it soon.” Jimin hasn’t pushed you to quicken the moving out process. He’s been so damn understanding that it has started to make you feel guilty. You don’t know when Jimin’s patience would snap. Don’t know whether this makes him feel hurt. “I just don’t know how to start it.” You groan in frustration. At yourself. “I’ll just—maybe I—”

“Baby…” Jimin’s arms tightens around you, putting a stop to your guilt tripping. “It’s okay, you know?” Kisses the side of your head. “Take your time, Lil. I can wait. We can wait… I mean, if you want to start living with me from this moment? Then thank fuck, I want nothing else. But we can take it slow. Don’t stress, Princess, things will work out.” 

Fuck! You know Park Jimin in love is a different creature, but never in your lifetime have you expected to see him being such a sweetheart. 

“I thought you’re a jealous asshole, Park. I’m impressed.” You pick up the now filled coffee cup, ready to hand it over to Jimin. 

“I am a jealous asshole. I just love you.” He addresses your issue before you can turn around in his hold. Your worry fades into distance as the tiniest of a smile starts to graze your lips. You finally manage to break free from his hold and hand him the coffee when he changes the subject out of nowhere. “Are you free today?” He takes the cup in his hands. 

You avert your eyes to his. Your tiny smile shifts into an amused grin in a millisecond. The reaction leaves you before you can control it. Words follow an unpleasant snort. “Oh c’mon! It’s not like I have anything to do anyway.” Only when it’s all out and Jimin’s smile drops that you realize the mistake. 

Fucking hell! What’s wrong with you?

You didn’t mean to sound harsh. Didn’t mean to sound bitter. That’s exactly what has happened, though. Jimin’s entire expression turns dull. His adorable smile is nowhere to be found and replaced with a wince. 

“Lil I—” He starts, only to be cut off when you grab his face between your palms at light speed. 

“That’s not what I meant.” You blurt. You know how this looks. It’s as if you’ve blamed him. For the lack of purpose of your life. It’s not his fault. It’s no one’s fault. Especially not his. To be honest, you’ve been having mixed emotions regarding the newest changes of your life. You no longer have a purpose to wake up each morning. Some days you’re happy to be woken up into a peaceful day where you’re allowed to indulge in whatever the fuck you want. On other days, however, you feel empty. A bitter feeling about the things you’ve lost. It’s hard not to miss it when you see Jungkook worrying his ass over the finals. When he fights with J over stupid group projects. It reminds you that you’re no longer a part of it. 

Then there will come the uncertainty of the future. You may have claimed that you’d be starting your life anew but the way you could do it is not something you know. You have no idea how you’d be able to start your degree again when you have no academic background. Not even your primary education. The same goes for a job as well. You have no qualifications. The work at Kim’s? You don’t see it as a real job. You started working there as a help and Namjoon’s parents have been kind enough to pay you something for your time and effort. You’re not officially hired there. Even if you are, that’s not what you wanted to do with your life. 

Maybe, you’re allowed to feel bitter about it. Still, it’s not fair to blame that on the man in front of you. He did nothing wrong. You want to slap yourself. 

Jimin slightly leans into your touch. Hurt still etched on his face. “You can work in the company, Lil.” He mumbles.

“I know.” You rub his cheek with your thumb. “But I wasted two years of my life studying Design, Jimin. Being your assistant or Hoseok’s assistant isn’t what I wanted to do.” 

“Then I can hire you for the marketing team. You can do what you learned.” Jimin removes one of  your hands from his face. Interlaces your fingers together.

“You know how much people are gonna hate me, if you do that. Besides, it feels wrong. I need to do it myself.” You gaze at his eyes. Oh you would bite your own tongue if you could. Why would you have to hurt him? You squeeze his hands. “I didn’t mean it like that, baby. I’m fine, really. I’ll find a way and I’ll come to you when I need help.” A beat passes and then he returns your squeeze.

“Can’t wait.” Whispers. You nod. A small smile follows that. After a second, Jimin accepts your words. Similar kind of smile adorning his lips. 

“So,” You turn around and pick up your cup of coffee again. “Why did you ask?” You raise a teasing brow. Gasp. “Don’t tell me you just wanted to know. Look who’s obsessed with who now?” You muse, reminding of a time where he claimed you were obsessed with him. All those months ago. On a bright day where you accidentally ended up on Namiseom Island. 

Jimin rolls his eyes. A tiny scoff. “Trust me, I have a business to run.” 

This time you gasp even harder. How dare he? You pout causing him to kiss it away. “Well… I asked because I wanted you to be free today.” Then he answers your question. 

“Why?” 

“So I can take you out.” Jimin mumbles the words against your lips. You suck them in with a short breath. 

Take you out!

You draw back away from his face. Just to get a proper look. Jimin gapes at you. And if you don’t know better, you’d say he looks nervous. That warmth in your chest spreads through your entire body. Making your limbs feel numb. Making your head light. Making your knees buckle. In a very pleasant way. 

Is he asking you on a date? Like that? Why does he look flustered? Nervous? As if you’re not pregnant with his child.

He looks exactly like he did when he asked you to move in with him. Oh, how adorable?

“Take me out?”  You, in the end, mumble back. Jimin nods. Like a kid who is confirming, he indeed wants to go to the park. “But you’ve already taken me out many times.” That he has. “What’s special? Why are you asking it… like this?” 

“I haven’t taken you out on a date, though, have I?” He answers your question with another. You just stare at him. “I want to take you on a real date. I want you to get dressed, worry about your outfit, and I want to take you out like normal people do. Not to keep you in my car or in a hotel room. I want to take you out to places you’ve never been before. I want to have a nice meal in the best restaurant, without having to worry about someone seeing us, Spring Roll.”  

Oh you would melt down into a little puddle if it was possible. He needs to stop being so sweet. Maybe, that’s the reason why you’re craving sweet things. Because the father of the baby is a sugar cane. You gulp harshly, not knowing what to say. Jimin looks at you expectantly. 

“So…what do you say? Will you let me take you out on a date?” Asks when you say nothing. Now, you sure do understand why he decided to formally ask it as if someone would for their first date. Because it is your first date and he wants to do it right. But for the life of you, you would never understand the reason why he’s nervous. Does he often forget that you’re bearing his child? God he gives you toothache at this rate. With that faint blush and pout. 

You shrug after a moment. “Well…since you’re asking so nicely—” 

“Oh, c’mon…” Jimin whines loudly, even stomping his feet. You snort. 

“Yes!” You crack through your laugh. It gets his tantrum to stop. “I’ll be happy to go on a date with you, Park.” 

He does a little fist pump, causing you to howl in laughter. How dramatic? He joins you. It’s only after you two manage to catch your breathing that he asks again. “So? What do you say about four in the evening? I have some work to get done in the morning and I’ll pick you up?” 

Oh, that’s certainly too early for dinner and too late for lunch. You don’t question him, though. Are certain he’s got something in his mind. “What should I wear?” So, you ask instead. He wanted you to worry about your outfits, after all. 

Jimin purses his lips, eyes squinting. “Nothing fancy. Just something pretty.” Decides. 

“That’s not helping at all!” You exclaim. Jimin doesn’t give a fuck. Instead of taking your very valid questions to consideration he starts to finally prepare those pancakes. 

And no amount of budging him or kisses or offers to suck him off gets you the answer to what he has in mind.

Guess, you’d have to have your own back this evening.

…………………………

You smooth out your dress for the hundredth time as you peer into the full length mirror. Jimin said nothing fancy but pretty. You don’t know what the fuck that means. So you decided upon a dress. Long sleeve and with ruffles. Hem just reaching your mid thighs. You’d pair it with knee high boots. Autumn is just about to start but today is particularly a cold day. You guess you’d be fine. 

You drag your fingers through your hair one last time. Check your lipstick for one last time. You look fine. You think you look fine. Do you look pretty, though? With a heavy sigh you turn around.

“Do you think this would be fine? Should I change it to something fancier?” 

At your voice, Jungkook averts his gaze away from the laptop. He’s bundled in the bed. Comforter bunched up around his waist. Is resting his back on a thousand pillows. Yet it seems the position he’s in is painful. He’d definitely get back pain. There’s a deep scowl adorning his face. Apparently, he has to get this essay done by tonight. 

This is exactly something that’d make you miss your life. You used to worry over deadlines that way as well.

You push past the bitter thought as Jungkook’s scowl disappears when he rakes his eyes over your figure. You think you saw a glint in his eyes before it gets dull. It’s there and gone within a flash. 

“No, you look fine.” He smiles fondly. To you though it seems a bit sad. Then he’s paying his attention back to the laptop screen.

There you go again, making stupid mistakes for a second time of the day. Why would you have to ask him that? No. Why would you have to get ready in here in the first place? You didn’t think he’d be hurt?

What a stupid bitch you are?

God dammit you need to talk to him. You need to give him closure and ask him to move on. Why are you so selfish? You turn around, squeezing your eyes shut as the regret washes over you. Just as your eyes meet your own reflection again, you hear the huge sigh he lets out. Before you can take another look at him, he scrambles out of bed like a flash. So you meet him just standing in front of you when you finally turn around. 

“I’m sorry,” He mumbles, causing your brows to knit in confusion. What is he being sorry for? Before you can ask he answers your non asked question. “You look gorgeous, baby. I just hate essays so I wasn’t paying attention.” 

Oh! He thinks your change of mood is due to his lack of enthusiasm towards your outfit. You blink at his face. Heart sinking. Fuck! Fuck him for always trying to make it up for you. But you don’t know how to correct him. Should you tell him? Tell him that you know. And have this conversation now? No. No matter how you start this talk, it would end both of you being hurt. Today is not the day. You only have twenty something minutes until Jimin will meet you outside. This is your first official date and you want to enjoy it. Every minute of it. You won’t be able to do it if the last thing you see before leaving the house would be Jungkook in pain. Maybe, after this date? Yes. You’d definitely do it tonight. 

You clear your throat. “You think so?” You ask, briefly glancing at your outfit once again. Jungkook doesn’t answer you right away. He narrows his eyes on you. Sucks in a breath through his teeth. Contemplating. 

“Let’s see.” Mutters before cupping your face with both of his hands. Squeezes your cheeks. You instantly set into motion as you slap his hands away. Or try to do so. You just did your makeup and he’s ruining it. Your slaps, however, lands on his wrists like a gentle touch of a feather. He doesn’t budge at all. 

“Yah!” You scream.

Instead of letting go, Jungkook grins from ear to ear. His toothy grin. Nose scrunched up. “Yah! Let me take a look.” He yells back. Peer at your face closely. Then nod in determination. “I can see you’re fucking beautiful.” Then shakes his head very dramatically. “Can’t believe how that idiot pulled you. The world is not fair!” Sighs. 

You roll your eyes to the back of your head. Finally managing to break free of his hold, purely because he decides to let go, you turn back around to face the mirror. Just in time to witness his grin fall. It slips away, filling his eyes with a familiar kind of pain. Longing. And he remembers his mistake even before you can truly acknowledge it. When your eyes meet him through the mirror, he has his expression fixed. That smile back on his face. But there’s no glint in his eyes. Only the longing. A kind of longing that makes your inside hollow. 

You can’t confront him. Not now. 

Play it cool! 

“What?” So you ask the only question you can. He shrugs. 

“You really look pretty.” His eyes momentarily drop to your stomach. “Wear a scarf though, it’s fucking cold out today.” 

It’s a physical battle inside you not to fall into a fit of  cry. 

How? Why? How can someone be so gentle and loving when all they earn in return is pain? 

You bite the inside of your cheeks as you nod, proceeding to pick up your bag from the table. You do your best not to look at him again. If you do, you’d surely cry. Can't afford to cry today. You take a few steps forward. Almost leave the room without a second glance. But of course, Jungkook has other plans. 

“Wear a scarf, Noona. It’s really cold, trust me.” 

You stop dead in your tracks. Painful jabs piercing right through your heart. You take a second, then even before you can process it, you turn around. Storm toward the unsuspecting man still standing in the middle of the room. Throw your arms around his waist before you smush your face in his chest. He makes a little sound in surprise. 

“Thank you, Kookie.” You say into his chest. Jungkook wraps his arms around your figure as well. A soft chuckle leaves him first.

“Okay…? For what?” Questions. 

“I don’t know…for everything I guess.” You squeeze him. Withdraw. Force yourself to smile. You can’t cry. 

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

“Don’t talk like you’re going to disappear or something.” Jungkook shows his displeasure. “If you’re thankful, buy me dinner tonight.” Adds on a second thought.

“With pleasure.” You grin. Finally, ready to leave. For real this time. You’ll have that talk tonight. You’re determined to do it no matter what. 

For now, that hug should be enough. 

……………………….

You get out of the car slowly, taking in the surroundings. Jimin closes the car door once you’re fully out. You have no idea where you are right now. Only that you’re in a less crowded, quiet street, completely lined up with little boutiques. And of course cafes. And bookstores. All looking as if they’re from a different dimension. Worn off brick walls and narrow front windows. 

How did he even find this place?

During your twenty minutes or so ride, Jimin hasn’t said a lot about the place you’re visiting. All he had said was that you’re going out just for a coffee. Well, you find it to be perfect. Especially if the cafe is going to be a part of this street. He’s chosen well. And something inside you tells you that choosing a coffee date has something to do with your sudden desire for sweets. 

He’s gonna let you eat sweets until you get diabetes, isn’t he? Of course, he will. You turn your head to look at the man who’s standing so close to you. Doing just the same as you. Taking the view in. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” He asks. Probably sensing your eyes on him. 

“The street or you?” You answer him with another question, suddenly shuddering as a cold gust of wind blows past you. Jungkook was so right to wrap a scarf around your neck. Jimin chuckles softly, turning toward you to adjust the said scarf better around you. 

“Oh, I know you find me beautiful.” A cheeky grin treats you. You gasp.

“Who lied to you?” 

“I can recall you calling even my dick beautiful.” 

You scrunch up your face. Look around you to make sure that nobody overheard his words. “I lied.” 

“Did you? Or do you want me to show you now, so you’ll change your mind?” 

“Jeesus, Park. Stop being a freak.” You screech, proceeding to walk away from him. “This is beautiful, though.” Yet add anyway. He deserves to feel good. The best. He mumbles something about how he’s the best eye in the world as he catches up to you. Takes your hand in his. Interlaces your fingers. And guides you through the quiet street, passing cozy cafes and flower boutiques. Passing entire different worlds inside the faintly glowed shops until he stops in front of one. Same brick walls. Aged and worn. Narrow glass windows. Tiny pots of lavenders sit prettily on the window sills. A dark wooden door. Top of that door is the name sign. 

Ink and cup. 

You tilt your head up to take a good look at that name. Interesting. You guess you already have an idea about where this is going. Before you can question your suspicions, Jimin pushes open the door. The sweet aroma of coffee fills your nostrils immediately, followed by the scent of freshly baked goods. Following Jimin’s lead, you step inside the cafe, sighing pleasantly when you’re engulfed in a pleasant warmth. 

The place is filled with wooden tables. Brown. And beige chairs. Your eyes go wide as you spot the fireplace in a corner, actually lit up. And proving your suspicions right your eyes land on the shelves full of art supplies. Pencils, pens, brushes, and every other thing. This is an art cafe. You wonder what made Jimin choses this place. You turn your head to look at him, to find him already gaping at you. His eyes are glinting. Not that familiar glint of amusement but a glint of warmth. Is looking at you like you’re the sole reason he’s breathing. 

“Do you like it?” He asks once he catches your eyes. 

You nod. “Are we gonna paint?” 

“If you want to, then yes.” 

You take your time in that. As a child and teenager, you used to paint like your life depended on it. Then it escalated into not just painting but creating. Building something creative out of your skills. That’s how you ended up pursuing a designing degree. During your college, you stopped painting like you did before. Maybe the time pressure and stress had made you like your passion a little less. Yet you found time to indulge in it sometimes. After you stopped shifting the worlds, however, you never even held a  paint brush in your hand. Painting, just like your education has grown into a distant memory, even though it hasn’t been that long since you started living in this world. Permanently. Now, the idea of doing it again, suddenly excites you so damn much. 

“Hell, yes. I love painting.” You answer in the end, watching Jimin’s face break into a satisfied grin. You’re not sure whether you’ve told him about your hobbies or your skills. Maybe you did. You’ve said so many things to him. Maybe he just assumed you could draw based on your degree. Whatever the reason might be, he looks so damn cocky. Probably because he did well in choosing the place. Not just the beauty and sweets but also the arts. Park Jimin truly is one of a kind. 

“Then we paint until they run out of the supplies.” He walks over to the glass display case full of every type of mouth watering bakery goods. You happily follow him. 

…………………………..

Scratch the coffee. You’ve decided upon hot chocolate while you were mulling over at least twenty options they put before you on the menu. You wanted something sweet. The pancakes Jimin made this morning weren't enough. Besides, despite the fact that it isn’t winter yet, the cold weather today was calling for a hot chocolate. The piece of strawberry cream cake that is sitting next to your hot chocolate now is something you had to get just because it looked good. So it tastes good as well. 

You moan around a mouthful of cake. “God, this is heaven.” 

“Never thought I’d be jealous of cake.” Jimin exclaims, sipping from his own coffee. You give him a look, reaching for your hot chocolate. The cafe staff had already provided you with the supplies to paint. White canvas, pens, pencils, every type of paint you could imagine, easels, and every other thing you would’ve sold your kidneys to have in your home. They have everything. This place isn’t simply made for customers to enjoy coffee and doodle on papers. It’s specifically designed for artists. You’re certain this place is for artists. The best of them. To you it feels like a dream. The fireplace, the sweet drink and all the possibilities you could create on this blank canvas with whatever you want. Only that neither of you have started painting it yet. 

“Stop saying cheeky things…” You whine. Then point at the art supplies. “You gonna draw with me?” 

Jimin throws an offended look at your way. “Course I am. What? You’re saying I can’t?” 

Now, you know Park Jimin is good at many things. From operating a damn business to singing like a nightingale. But his abilities in painting or drawing are yet to be discovered. You, on the other hand, are successfully bad at everything he’s good at. Except for this. You know you can paint. It’s been engraved to your bones. Hence, your raised brow and cocky look. When you have the chance to brag you’ll most definitely do so. 

“Of course not, Park. I just asked. But,” You lean forward on your chair. “I want you to know I’m really, really good at this.” 

“Wanna bet?” He’s raising a brow too. In challenge. 

You take a second. Maybe, you shouldn’t test Park Jimin. He could be the modern Michelangelo in this world and you might be asking to be embarrassed. It’s too late to take that back, however. So you shrug. Making sure you still look all smug and confident. “Why not? Fuck yes.” 

“Okay,” Jimin puts down his coffee. Suddenly all serious. You’ve seen that same look when he’s talking business. “This is a competition then. If you win you get to ask me anything you want. If I win…” His eyes sparkle. This time that familiar glint of amusement. “I get to take you on another date.” 

For fucks’s sake! 

You really wish you could roll your eyes as hard as you want right now. Why would he think you’d say no. Ever. “That’s a stupid bet but yes, whatever you want, Park.” You agree right away. Glint in his eyes only turns brighter at your words, however. 

“Is it?” He leans forward on the table as well. Eyes turning brighter and brighter that you’re worried he’d burn you down. You narrow your eyes. Suspicious. Before you can comment on it and rearrange your bet, Jimin goes back to his serious self. Braces his palms on the wooden table top. “Okay. We have a deal then?” Raises a brow. You nod slowly. Not sure about this after all. He takes your very unsure nod as a straight yes. Proceeds. “But…we both know you’re better at this than I am. So, we need a fair judge to decide who’s the winner.” 

Good point. See, he’s a businessman. The thought didn’t even cross your mind. “Agreed!” You nod very surely this time. “Who do you suggest?” You fall back into thinking. “Jungkook?” Ask. Jimin’s smile drops instantly. 

“No fucking way!” He looks at you as if you just suggest he take a barefoot trip to the Atlantic. “Idiot is so biased in you and he hates my ass. He’s gonna choose you anyway.” 

“Then who?” You pout in annoyance. He’s making sense again, though. 

“Taehyung?” Jimin suggests slowly. Dragging the syllables. It’s your time to gape at him as if he challenged you to land on the sun. 

“Are you kidding me?” You huff. “He’s your best friend.”

“And you’re a woman. What made you think he’d choose me over a pretty woman?” He points out. True. Kind of. Still you would rather not test it. Hence the firm shake of your head. 

“How about Seokjin?” You suggest. A silence falls as you stare at each other. There’s no reason for any questions. If there’s anyone who’s going to do it fair enough that you could hand over the world's safety to them, that would be Seokjin. Jimin says or asks nothing more. Without further hassle you both agree to make Jin your honorable judge board. 

“So, how do we do it? Just draw whatever we want and hope for the best?” Jimin voices out. You shake your head again. If this is a competition, then it should be hard. There needs to be rules. At least a prompt. You don’t know why you’re so worked up about this anyway. Maybe you’re just enjoying this. Enjoying so damn much. It’s more fun when you make it harder anyway. 

You fish out for your phone without answering him. There was this thing you used to do when you painted back in the days. To train your skills and your brain. You search for a random prompts generator for drawing hurriedly. Now you know you won’t find the exact same thing you used to use. But you’re certain someone has come up with the same idea in this world as well. Proving you right, your search finds you hundred different websites that are created for the same purpose. With a victorious little noise, you click on the first link and place the phone on the table between you two. 

“We’ll use two different random prompts. Since we need this to be very fair, Jin will decide who did the most justice to their prompt.” You explain, making Jimin go smug again. 

“Fuck yes!” He pulls your phone towards him. “I may not be good at painting like you but I design games, baby. Good luck!” 

You pretend that it doesn’t threaten you a little bit. That it causes you to second guess your own idea. Instead you point out how technically he’s not the one who’s designing them and force him to touch the generate button. So he does. You both peer at the screen. Looking at the way a black splash of letters stumble on the white background until it stops on one. 

“A place that exists between night and day.”

Jimin’s smug smile drops. Instantly. As if someone has slapped it away. His brows merge together. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Questions. 

You blink at the prompt. “No idea but, it’s interesting.” You take a screenshot of it and send it to him right away. A smug smile on your lips. 

“This is not fair.” Jimin continues to complain as you click on the re-generate button. The same process happens and then a new prompt appears. 

“Walls that know your name.” 

It’s funny how fast you join Jimin with his expression. Staring at the prompt dumbly. Maybe, you should change it. Because this isn’t making any sense at all. But where’s the fun in making it easy? So, you shrug. Make up your mind. Take another screen shot. 

“Guess we’re playing mind games, Park.” Mumble. 

………………………

 Okay, you admit you’re stupid. During the almost three years of your life at the university, they really did teach you how important it is to understand your weaknesses. You didn’t really give a shit about it before. Now, as you stare at the blank canvas you definitely understand why you should take this seriously. If you’ve taken it seriously, you wouldn’t have ended up in a situation like this. 

You groan inwardly, taking the last sip of your—now cold—hot chocolate. It’s been half an hour already but your paint brush hasn't even touched the canvas once. You have no single damn idea about what the prompt means and what you should draw. You’re thinking too much. You know you are. You’ve always struggled to get things done when you have a time limit. See, a weakness. Then you had to bring this upon yourself. Only to sit on a comfy chair stupidly while Jimin’s hand does skilful strokes on his canvas. Fuck! You don’t know what he’s drawing. Or how he managed to decode that stupid prompt. It doesn’t matter anyway. He is already working on it. Good or bad, he has something. 

You gape at him. The way he’s furrowing slightly. Eyes fixed on the movements of his hand. He’s gone with a pencil. What is he doing? Sketching? You’ve decided to keep each other’s canvases hidden from each other’s views to keep it intriguing. Oh, how intriguing it is? You’re dying to know what he’s doing. Just a peek would be enough. As if hearing your thoughts, Jimin trails his eyes away from the canvas and to you. Raises a brow in question. 

“I’m thinking.” You grumble. Trying your best to hide the note of annoyance in your voice. He hears it anyway. That amused grin is proof of it. 

“That’s fine. Think hard, Spring Roll. We’ve got time. They won’t be closing this place until at least eight.” Gives you a wink before focusing back on his work. That grin remains. 

Asshole!

God, why would you do this to yourself? Why are you so serious about it anyway? Dammit, you want to scream. You pay your attention back to your prompt. 

Walls that know your name…. Walls that know your name… Walls that know your name….

You’ve been rereading it in your mind for millions of times now. What does that mean?

Walls that know your name… Walls that—

Wait! You straighten up like a bow string. A light bulb lightening up inside your brain. Does that mean home? Because it says walls that know your name. If there’s a place where even walls know your name, that should be a very familiar one. And a home  is familiar. 

Yes! That’s it. If you weren’t in a damn restaurant, you could’ve yelped in happiness and done a little dance. Since it’s not an option, you settle with a wide grin. There you have your prompt. A simple one. Now you only have to figure out what you are going to draw. And just like that, your grin disappears. Into thin air. You, yourself claimed that the winner would be the one who does the justice to the prompt. How are you ever going to bring the concept of home into a piece of canvas?

This time you groan loudly. Several heads turn in your direction. Including Jimin’s. And he gapes at you like he saw you for the first time. So you flip him off. 

………………….

Another fifteen minutes are wasted. You’re really bad at this aren’t you? You can’t believe you used to study four subject loads in one semester and get every assignment done in time. Almost all of them were creative projects. How did you do that when you’re so bad at coming up with ideas? 

This whole thing is a stupid, bad idea. You should’ve known better. It’s Park Jimin. Why did you ever want to compete with him? Besides, it's not that you really want to win anyway. If it means making Jimin happy, you’d gladly accept defeat without a word. Fuck, why did you do this to yourself then? Well, guess all you wanted was to impress. As stupid as it sounds, maybe you wanted to show Jimin you’re good at something. Like a little girl who wants to impress her parents. 

You tilt your head up to look at the man in front of you. Working intently. Concentrating hard. So hard that his brows are knotted and lips are pouted so hard that it reminds you of a beak. Goddamnit. How can a man be so adorable? Fuck, you wish you could just reach over and kiss that pout away like you’ve gone mad. Well, you can do that now, can’t you? What’s stopping you now? He is your boyfriend. Not a secret lover that would cause so much problems if you are to be simply seen with him. No. He’s yours. Isn’t that amazing? It is. That familiar warmth blooms across your body, starting from your heart. Goddammit, how fucking in love you are with him? Sometimes you wonder how you are able to love someone that hard. Yet here you are. Sitting in a cafe, watching him paint. Like a love sick puppy. Fuck! Paint. You should be painting too. You dart your gaze immediately to your empty canvas. Only then realizing that you’ve been grinning like a creep too. 

Jimin could’ve made fun of you, if he had caught you grinning at him that way. God, the way you can’t control it. Everything would simply disappear. Any problem. Any worries. All that would be left in your head is Park Jimin. It’s ridiculously amazing how at ease you feel when you’re with him. You’ve genuinely been stressing over a painting a mere second ago and it was all gone. Just by looking at him. That person over there has become your comfort. Like your home. 

Wait! Home? 

This time you snap your head up to look at him with a new found urgency. Eyes wide and probably glinting as if you just resolved the Zodiac Killer. Jimin looks back at you. Questioning with his eyes. Questioning your sanity. 

“What?” He voices his concerns as you keep gaping at him. Corners of your mouth curling upward. There you have an idea. All you have to do is create something that would do justice to the prompt. You’re certain your prompt is home. Park Jimin is your home. 

“Nothing.” You shrug. “You’re beautiful, Park Jimin.” You allow yourself to smile fondly, ignoring the way Jimin’s face turns into a soft pink. 

Fuck, he is adorable!

…………………………………….

Live portrait never has been one of your strengths. You’ve painted a few but have never been satisfied with them. Doing it now while carrying the dead weight of being a disappointment in Jimin’s eyes has made you stressed enough that you almost started chewing on your thumb. You had two options. First was to take Jimin as your live model– though he doesn’t know that, and paint him as the way he’s right now. Or to use a photo. You decided to go with the first option. Just a rough painting of Park Jimin with his frown and adorable pout. You had cropped the scene in front of you only to his face, a part of his hand and the canvas before him. But then you wanted to paint him the way you see him. You’ve always found him to be breathtaking. Mesmerasing. Beautiful in a humanly impossible way. Hence the colorful background which is your attempt at creating a universe. Because that’s where you found him. In Another Universe. 

You sigh heavily, finally straightening up after adding a little white dot inside the painted Jimin’s irises for realistic purposes. Resting back on your chair you sweep your eyes over the whole piece. It’s… good. Not bad at all. Yet maybe it’s not the best after all. It needs time. To perfectionate a realistic art would take hours. Even days. Or maybe weeks. Almost three hours are certainly not enough. You did what you could with the time. Still now as you finally set the brush down, you realize that the whole cafe is emptied save for you two and one staff member who’s wiping down the counter with a frown in her face. Jesus you must be such a headache to the poor woman. You always hated the customers who didn't understand the meaning of closing time. Now look at you. 

“Done?” Jimin grabs your attention from across the table. He’s been finished for almost an hour now. Has been polite enough to sit back and let you get your work done in peace. 

“Yes.” You nod, rolling your shoulders to ease the pain. Jimin frowns. 

“This was supposed to be fun, lady. I didn’t expect you to take it this seriously.” He shakes his head dramatically. 

“Says the one who almost wanted to kill me for suggesting Jungkook as the judge.” You counter.

“I wanted to be fair, that’s it.” Jimin says while getting to his feet. And the smart answer that comes to the tip of your tongue instantly dies away. Your stomach tangles into a tight knot. You suck in a short breath and hold it as your body grows tense. Ridiculous. But all you can feel is the nervousness inside you grows with every step Jimin takes your way. Suddenly, you don’t want to do this. Damn winning the competition. It’s stupid anyway. You don’t want to be seen as amazing in his eyes either. Because there’s a possibility that it might happen the other way. You almost shoot into your feet and cover up the canvas but Jimin makes it behind you even before the thought fully passes your mind. So you stay glued to your chair. Even a thin layer of cold sweat starts to cover your skin as you keep your breath trapped in your lungs. Until you hear a soft, shaky breath. Unable to take it anymore you whip your head back, eyes darting over the man who’s standing behind you now. His eyes fixed on the canvas. 

“Fuck, Lil…” Jimin exhales again after a second. Then his eyes land on you. “You–I—” He gulps. Seemingly struggling with words. “Why me?” Then at last he questions. You peer at his eyes as you shrug. 

“The prompt was to draw home.” Explains simply. “I mean I decided that it means home and—” Jimin doesn’t let you finish. Your words get cut off when you feel his lips on your forehead. All the tension you felt a moment ago, the nervous knot in your tummy disappears without a trace. Just like that. Your shoulders relax instantly. Hell, even a sigh escapes you. Still, you expect Jimin to tease you a bit about the fact that you admitted that he’s your home. He doesn’t. Instead he shakes his head. Eyes back on the portrait of himself. 

“I feel dumb now.” He mumbles more to himself. “I knew you must be good at it but this? Damn Lil, you drew this while in a stupid art cafe? I’m serious, come work for me.” Looks at you with raised brows. You click your tongue, trying your best to act nonchalant. As if your insides are not churning violently. In a pleasant way. As if your heart isn’t swelling inside your ribcage that you’re in great danger of it exploding. Fuck, he’s affecting you more than you like. You hope you’re doing a great job at hiding your over joyness as you finally get to your feet as well. 

“C’mon, it’s not even that good.” You wave a hand in his direction despite the manic grin adorning your face. Jimin’s eyes crinkle. Oh, you’re definitely not doing a great job at hiding how happy you are. Jimin knows. And maybe you don’t care that he knows. Biting on your lower lip to contain your grin you walk around the table. Compared to you, Jimin stays fairly calm. It’s like he never expected to be considered good at this anyway. He simply follows you, standing behind you yet again while you finally drop your gaze to his work. 

Well, damn! Did he just say he feels dumb? For what?

Your eyes turn into saucers as you sweep them across the piece of art in front of you. It’s not the best. Yes. You sure did the better job. Yes. But you’ve been doing it almost your whole life. You have the practice in addition to the skills. He probably doesn’t. Yet he has done such a great job that you’re sure he will become a great artist if he ever decides to give up on R.U.N. 

“Wow!” You whisper. “You’ve been misleading me this whole time.” 

“I wasn’t. I did tell you I’m not that bad. But c’mon… compared to that—” Jimin points a finger toward your piece. “This is an elementary standard.” 

“Bullshit!” You snap, bending down to take a closer look. He’s definitely done a good job. Good enough you know what’s on the canvas. A street of some kind. A line of storefronts flanking a tall building. You narrow your eyes having no idea what this means. Then your eyes stop next to the first store next to the tall building. A cafe. The name sign Haru written on the top. He hasn’t bothered to draw a plate.  Your eyes sweep over that once. And you freeze. 

During your time—which is not that long, you’ve shared many details about your world. Maybe you’ve shared everything. Maybe not everything. Maybe not enough at all. But, you might have rambled how you always liked the coffee Chan made and how it was far away from your place. Then about how you didn’t even have a broken coffee machine in your place so you spent 5000 won everyday on the shitty cafe next to your old apartment building. The shitty cafe named Haru. You snap your head toward him. Eyes wide. Eyebrows raised. Jimin only smiles at you. Barely. A very nervous smile that makes you look back at the painting. Up until this moment, a single thing about this art didn’t make any sense to you. Just a painting of a bunch of storefronts. Now as you have spotted that very name it suddenly makes sense. 

It’s your apartment. Or at least how Jimin imagined it through your words. Not accurate at all. If he’s to ever ask you to do the changes that needed, you’ll have to change everything. Not that you ever will do it though. No. You won’t change a thing. You suck in a shaky breath, feeling your throat tightening up. It might not be the most accurate or the most perfect but the sole fact that he’s done it is enough to make your eyes well up. 

“Your prompt was to paint a place that exists between night and day or something, wasn’t it?” You ask without taking your eyes away from the art piece. Jimin only hums in answer. “So, h–how is that—” 

“That should be a dream, right?” Jimin interrupts your question. “Or I don’t know… a place that really doesn't exist for me? A place I’ve never been to but I often think about?” Explains. 

“You often think about my place?” 

“Not just your place, but your world. It would’ve been hella hard to draw an entire world though. So, I drew a piece of it. I know it’s not—” 

“Fucking hell, Park!” You turn around in a blink. Don’t let him time to process before you hide your face in his chest. 

“Accura–te…” Jimin stumbles on his words. “Holy—Lil—” Then gives up. “Okay.” Accepts whatever you’re doing and curls his arms around your figure. You hear him chuckle softly before he raises questions about your well being. “You good, love?” You nod into his chest, demanding yourself not to cry in your head. 

“You—um…why would you think about my world?” You answer his question with another one. You lift your head enough to peek at his face. 

“Is that even a question? I think about it because it’s yours. I mean, isn’t it unfair how I’ll never get to visit your place? How I’ll never get to meet your parents? How I’ll never get to see or know anything that made you, you?”  He slowly pushes you away from his embrace. Just so he can look at you properly. God, you feel like your eyes are burning. You don’t know why that’s making you so emotional. Is that because all his words are true and it’s kind of sad? Is it because you’re touched by his idea to make your world his dream? Or is it simply because he just tore open an old wound? About a world which you’re trying to forget. 

True, you said you’re completely fine with your new life. But are you? Do you miss it? Maybe. Oh you definitely do. Burn in your eyes turns worse as the realization dawns on you. Yet before a word could escape your lips, Jimin wraps his arms back around you. 

“I love you, baby. I love you so damn much.” Mumbles. You instantly relax on his hold. Stinging of your eyes soothing immediately at his words. 

“I love you more.” So does the tightness in your throat eases that you manage to answer him. “Maybe, if I ever get another chance at a wish, I’ll wish for you to come to my world.” You smile to yourself. 

“I’ll be the happiest to go with you.” 

Your smile stretches into a grin. 

……………………….

You dumbly stare at the spectacle that hangs low in Jin’s nose. He’s sitting on Jungkook’s couch. A small notebook in his left hand and a pen in his right. He is wearing a frown like it's permanent jewellery on his face. The two paintings that gave you and Jimin a headache while bringing in with you, now sit pretty across from Jin. Resting against the opposite wall from him. J stands beside Jin—maybe they’re back to being the lovey dovey couple they are. Maybe not. Maybe she’s completely being nosy. When you asked Jin to choose a winner for your petty competition with Jimin, you never expected it to be this serious. 

“Oh my god! Seok Jin. That’s fucking enough! Choose one!” You exclaim after waiting in silence for more than ten minutes. Which is too long. 

“Shh…” Jimin shushes you, cutting a glare your way. “Don’t distract him.” Adds making you gasp in offense. 

“Really?” You raise a brow, eyes curiously wandering over to the notebook. What is he writing on there anyway?  Jimin very seriously tells you that it is real while Jungkook softly whines from your other side. 

“This is so not fair, you know? You lied to me.” Jungkook sighs so heavily that it sounds like he just deflated. 

“What? When did I ever lie to you?” This whole situation is getting more and more ridiculous. 

“You never told me you could draw like this.” Jungkook argues, still gaping at your art. He’s been that way ever since you brought it inside. 

“You never asked.” You point out. 

“You have to draw me too.” He ignores your valid point and goes back to whining like a kicked puppy. Jimin nearly butts in saying that you would never draw Jungkook but Jin’s voice cut him off before he could fully finish his reasoning. 

“Quiet! All of you! You’re interfering with the judging outcome.” He says with a straight face that you come really close to laughing before realizing that he’s very serious. 

“Yes! And this is such a disrespect to the honorable judge board.” J agrees from behind Jin. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake—” You start again when Jin raises a hand demanding you shut up.

“Keep interfering and you’re losing marks.” He shows you his stupid notebook. 

“Wh–what? You can’t do that.” Your mouth turns into a little circle. 

“Yes, he can.” J answers on Jin’s behalf. So, you shut your mouth. And keep it shut for another five minutes watching two J’s mumble to each other like they're discussing the security of the country. It’s only after they have their own fun of being a judge board to their friends’ stupid art competition that they finally announce that they’ve decided upon the winner. Despite your earlier irritation you finally perk up that. Even Jungkook quits his whining and pays attention. Jin orders—as he believes requests—you sit next to Jimin. Like you’re waiting for the death sentence. Then he clears his throat. 

“Okay, after very careful and thorough consideration, the honorable judge board has come to a decision." He starts making you groan in your mind. J nods like crazy from where she’s still standing behind Jin. “This has not been easy and—” 

“C’mon!” At that you break. 

“Okay, that’s a lost mark.” Jin bellows going back to his notebook and scratching something down. You leap forward, ready to snatch that book away and hit him with it. Jimin prevents you from the pleasure by shoving a hand around your waist, already giggling and laughing. Jungkook is grinning as well. Not you, though. Not you. You screech demanding that it’s not fair and struggling against Jimin’s hold when Seok Jin threatens you again. 

“I’ll take another mark down, woman. Shut up!” He stands up. Looks at you with narrow eyes. You mirror him. Who said having Jin as a judge would be a good idea. 

“It’s okay…” Jimin mumbles in your ear, his voice laced with amusement as you keep glaring at Jin. After a second Jin goes back to his character. 

“Allright, after very,” He throws a warning glance toward you. “Very fair and…” And starts reciting a speech until your eyes start to well up and legs give up. Then at last with a deep breath he announces the marks. “Now, we decided on marking you out of twenty, just because we wanted to,” Says though no one asks. “So, considering every aspect, Jimin, my dear friend and my boss—” 

“I’m not your boss, Hyung. We’re co-owners.” Jimin says, his arms still wrapped around your middle. Jin grins. 

“Okay, my dear friend here scored seventeen out of twenty.” 

J immediately starts clapping and cheering. Even howls. Jungkook, though, lets out a strangled noise before starting protesting. 

“Seventeen? Fucking, seventeen? For that?” He questions in pure disbelief. Jimin finally lets go of you. 

“What the fuck that supposed to mean?” His attention fully falls upon the younger man. Jin cuts in before it gets too far. 

“It is fair, Jungkook. Considering he’s no Lorenzo, that deserves at least seventeen marks out twenty.” He points at Jimin’s painting. Now you don’t know who this Loren–or whoever the guy is. You assume that he’s a famous artist of this world. Like Picasso. Despite everything you would agree Jin with that. Jimin deserves that. Jungkook keeps protesting. Jin ignores him as he goes back to his speech again. “And for our dear Li, the alien who’s planning to abduct the greatest CEO of the century…” Okay, now you’re not sure of Jin not being biased. You don’t voice your concerns, however. Don’t want to lose any more marks after all. Jin carries on. “The honorable judge board has decided upon eighteen marks out of twenty.” Throws away his notebook so he could join J with her increased clapping and cheering. “Hence, the winner of this competition is…” Imitates the sound of drumrolls and bellows your name. J starts jumping up and down. 

“C’mon, give her twenty!” Jungkook yells through all the noises in the room. “You gave Jimin seventeen and only eighteen for her?” You could’ve agreed with him and defended yourself but J has made it toward you. And disregarding your protests, is making you join her with her jumping. 

“I gave her nineteen. Then took out one because she has a smart mouth.” Jin screams through J’s yelling. 

“Still, you gave Jimin seventeen?” Jungkook doesn’t back down. 

“Of course, he is my friend.” Jin answers proudly. 

“What the hell? I thought you were supposed to be fair…” You push away J, gaping at Jin with an open mouth. He only grins. 

Asshole!

………………………

“So…” Jimin questions as you fumble with the takeout containers. After announcing your marks, very dramatically, everyone has called it a good time for dinner. Hence, the takeout. “What do you want?” You straighten up to face him as he questions. Narrow your eyes and purse your lips, only to shrug at the end. 

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it.” Say as you transfer the food from takeout containers to bowls and plates. 

“Okay…” Jimin takes two bowls in his hands, ready to take them out to the living room. “But honestly, you deserve twenty.” Teases making you reel again. Yet before you can start complaining about how his friend was a total douche bag, Jimin disappears through the doorway. You sigh heavily, opening another box of kimchi. Jin can fuck off. Not that you’re really mad at him. No. What you honestly wanted was to impress Jimin. You succeeded at that task beautifully. After that you stopped caring about winning anyway. You just love that he gave Jimin seventeen. It’s just…sometimes it’s fun to bicker with your friends. For no reason. It sure is. With a gentle smile on your lips, you pick up two plates to take to the living room. 

“I’ll take that.” 

You turn your head at the unexpected voice. Speaking about the devil! Jin treats you with a warm smile and walks up to you with his arms already outstretched. You twist your body to take the plates away from his grasp. 

“I’m just pregnant, Jin. You guys need to stop treating me like I’m built of porcelain.” You complain.

Jin simply ignores you. Simply steps around and take the plates on your hands quite easily. “We’re not treating you like you’re porcelain, Jimin does. We’re just treating you like you’re pregnant.” He defends himself. You roll your eyes. 

“Hah! You treat me like I’m the only woman who’s pregnant in this world.” 

“You are the only woman I know who’s pregnant. So, it’s basically the same thing. Just shut up and lemme help.” He steps away from you. You stop arguing. Well, it’s a good argument. You wait for him to walk away with the plates. He doesn’t. 

“What?” So, you question after a second in silence. 

“You can draw.” Jin says. A snort leaves you before you can control it. What’s he getting at?

“So they say.” You wave a hand in the air. A silent signal for him to drop it. Only if these people ever listen to you, though. 

“Ever considered making a use of it?” He puts the plates back on the table. Your eyes follow the movement before going back to his face and stopping there.

“I…did, actually.” You bite on to your bottom lip, suddenly feeling deflated. That familiar pang hitting your chest. That bitter feeling is getting a hold over your heart. A feeling of being useless. Purposeless. “I studied design at college. So, I guess yes. I did make use of my skills.” You try your very best to keep the edge out of your voice. It’s not fair to be bitter about it. It’s no one’s fault. You said you wanted to stay and you still want to stay. You said you wanted to have the baby and you still do. There’s no reason to be bitter. Yet the feeling lingers. 

“You did?” Jin hums. “Past tense? How about now? You no longer want to use it?” Inquires. God, you want him to talk about something else. Or simply leave you be. This topic isn’t easy. And you don’t have answers either. 

“No. I mean, I don’t know. Haven’t thought about it. I just–um…you know started living here. I mean permanently, and I still have no plan.” You trail on. 

“Do you know when you’ll have a plan?” He asks again. This time you furrow. 

“Okay, what is this, Jin? Why are you interrogating me all of a sudden?” 

“I’m not interrogating you, Li. I’m just asking.” 

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe, I’m just curious. Or…” He shrugs. “I’m a little too sad to think that you’ll just waste yourself away. Just give up on everything just because you’re pregnant.” You open your mouth and then close it stupidly. You swear that you want to tell him that it’s not the case at all. But he starts speaking again before you could. “I know it might not make sense for me to be sad about you but I do. We’re friends. Have you thought about resuming your studies?” He folds his arms across his chest. You place your hand on a nearby chair, just because you want to do something. You nod while averting your gaze to your hand. 

“I did.” 

“And?” 

You look back at him. “I can’t just resume a degree that doesn’t exist, can I, Jin.” 

“Then start it over.” He raises a brow. Seems too sure about his ideas. Unfortunately for him, you’re going to prove him wrong. 

“With what academic background? In this world, I don’t have anything on my own. Not even an identity. I’m not a part of this world. How do you think I’m gonna apply for a university when I can’t even prove my elementary studies. No, you know what? Fuck that, I can’t even prove I’m a citizen of this country. I got nothing and I don’t know where to start.” You suck in a sharp breath after spewing those words out, relishing in the silence that follows after. Jin simply blinks at you. Then slowly nods. 

“Does Jimin know it?” He glances at the doorway, as if Jimin is standing there. For a second, you worry that he does and he heard everything. Relief washes over you to see the doorway empty. “That you’re sad about it. That you want to do something.” 

“Kind of.” You answer simply. Now you never expected to have this conversation with Jin out of all the people. He’s the least closest one to you. Hence, your surprise when he easily understands that you crave a purpose. “He knows I want to restart my life but—” 

“He doesn’t know that you want it this badly that you get mad when you think about it?” You nod again at Jin’s question. “So, why don’t you just tell him. He can help you, you know? We can forge your documents.” 

Your eyes widen in surprise. Again, he’s the last person to suggest something like that. 

“We–he can give you the best academic background anyone wants. There’s nothing money can’t do. Or, he can simply give you the degree. Or the job. Whatever you ask for. Jimin will even give you the damn sun if it’s possible.” Jin carries on. You would’ve been happy about that knowledge some other time. Not now. 

“That’s exactly why I don’t tell him. Why I don't  ask him for help. First, he’d blame himself saying I lost it all because of him. Second, I don’t think I’ll be happy to have something that I don’t deserve. I want to earn it. Be proud of myself. Sitting on a director's seat without a single qualification would make me feel like shit, Jin.” You ramble. That bitter feeling swirling inside you faster and faster with every word. Jin stays silent at that. Just staring at you. After a minute that feels like an hour he smiles. 

“Well…what if you get a chance to deserve it then?” 

“Huh?” You knit your brows together in confusion. What is he even talking about?

“So, you don’t want to work for Jimin or for the company because that means you got a job that you don’t deserve?”  He probs to which you nod. “I can give you work that would prove you deserve it—” 

“Jin, that’s exactly the same—” 

“No it’s not. I’m not giving you a title, Li. I’m giving you a task and a deadline. I’m giving you a chance to prove yourself and us that you’re talented. I don’t give a fuck about a degree. You can start earning it from zero again. All I’m saying is that I can give you something to do that would make you feel useful.”

Oh!

"It'd be like freelancing. Trust me, I’m the last person to encourage nepotism. I love how you want to make it by yourself and how you don’t want to get spoiled over the fact that you have Jimin. But, not knowing when to take the opportunities is pure stupidity, Li. I won’t just drop it on your lap ever. I’m meaner than that. It’s just an opportunity.” 

Suddenly, you feel your body grow weaker. Not in a bad way, no. That bitter swirl inside you comes to a halt as a new sensation starts to course through your veins. Causing your body goes weak. Your heart is slowly starting to beat loudly and fast inside your chest. And there comes an urge to squeal. Laugh. Scream. Take a step forward and throw your arms around Jin's neck. You don’t, however. You don’t do any of that. You just stay rooted in your spot eyes fixed on Jin. You can’t believe it. Is this really happening? You still don’t want to take help. But Jin makes sense. He’s not helping you. Not like Hoseok did, anyway. Not like how Jimin would do it. And you’d be a fool to lose it. 

“But how’s it not the same?” Yet you question in the end, trying to keep your calm. “What do you want me to do?” 

“Visuals.” Jin answers even before you barely finish your question. “A teaser?” 

“So, social media?” It’s getting very hard for you to not get excited. 

“Yes. And the backdrop for the press launch.” With those words your excitement dies down. A bit. Social media, you can totally deal with. He wants you to design the freaking backdrop for the press. That’s a lot of faith. “Give me one visual, Li. I’m not saying you’re getting a job through me. You’re going to work for it. You’ll walk me through the concepts within two weeks. We have three months until the launch. If I like your concepts, you’ll work on it. And if it makes  through, you’ll see your work on the launch. If not, then you’ll try again for something else.” Jin explains. Or rather commands. You knew he'd be a tough boss. Hoseok was far better. 

“And there’s no one else working on this?” You don’t want to steal someone else’s chance. Someone else who works their way up to the RUN design team through the sacrifices worth years. 

“We do. We have a team working on it. You’re not stealing someone else’s job, Li. We haven’t confirmed anything yet. We don’t have a fixed idea about what’s going to be the backdrop. My team will be presenting the ideas to me within two weeks.” Jin picks up the plates back again. “If anything, it’s not fair to you. They had months to brainstorm their ideas and come up with something. You just have two weeks. You’ll get paid only if you make it through. Fair?” Raises a brow. 

You nibble on your bottom lip. This feels like a dream. Too good to be true. If it wasn’t for Jin, you would disregard such an offer saying it’s a scam. But it is Jin who’s offering. Honestly, you don’t care about getting paid. It’s for RUN who you’re doing this. Even if it doesn’t make it to the launch, this will give you a place to start. After a brief second of thinking, you let your grin loose. 

“Fair.” Agree. Jin dips his head just once, smiling broadly that a dimple forms in one of his cheeks. 

“Good, I’m looking forward to working with you Miss Spring Roll. Do your best!” He turns around. Walks over to the doorway but you stop him before he steps out. 

“Jin!” He turns his head. “Please don’t tell anything to Jimin. I do want to earn it. He’s gonna be a pain in your ass and make you choose me if he knew it.” You request, to which Jin smirks. Jimin can be a real pain if he wants to. 

“You got it.” 

………………………………..

It’s been two days since you agreed to work for Jin’s design team. Unofficially. Nobody knows you’re working to RUN again. But this time, instead of delivering coffee from one room to another, you sit on Jungkook’s desk with scattered paper across it. You won’t be stepping inside the company. Jin has provided you with all the information you need to make it work. Too much information to be precise. It’s giving you a headache. You don’t know where to start. You’ve been given information about the plot, a fantasy full with romance and action and gore and for fuck’s sake a bath of blood. The game’s not for the kids so it makes sense. You’ve been given the character designs. Designs that had made your jaw dropped to the floor at how pretty and realistic they felt. You would’ve kissed designers’ hands who made such a thing possible. You don’t know the full plot of the game. Just the genre, details about the characters and the mood Jin is after. But with the little peeks you had, you already know the game is going to be a recordbreaker. And you’re happy to be a part of it. 

You still don't want to get a job with the help of your CEO boyfriend or his friends. But what Jin said makes absolute sense. This is a one of a kind opportunity. If this works, then you’ll have the first work on your portfolio. It’s not like you’re hired. Nothing will happen unless you come up with really good ideas. Ideas you don’t have at the moment. 

“Watcha doing?” The sudden voice that comes next to your ear makes you squeal and grab your chest with both hands. 

“What the fuck, Jungkook? You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days.” You slap his thigh, annoyed at how often he’s been doing it. 

“Calm down, Noona. You know it’s just me in the house.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. Drags a spare chair toward the table and sits next to you. You grumble how that doesn’t justify his actions as he peers over at the thousands of papers you have with millions of scribbles on them. “Still got nothing?” He picks up one paper. 

“Still got nothing.” You sigh heavily and push all the papers away from you together with the tablet. 

“You’ll get there, Noona. Don’t stress yourself too much. You’re pregnant, remember? Jimin will kill Jin if he knows that he’s making you stressed for death.” Jungkook lets the paper fall to the table. 

“But I have to come up with something if I need the bid,” You pout. “But every idea seems overused, not creative or stupid.” 

“That’s what you think. Maybe they are good.” Jungkook chooses a different paper this time. Frowns. “Like this one…” Squints. “Like…um…how this is showcasing…” Purses his lips. You watch him with a deadpanned expression. You know what he is doing. Still, you curse aloud when the next words leave his mouth. “A dead crow and a girl trying to eat it raw.” 

You snatch the paper away. “Get lost, Jeon.” Shove him back. Or try to do so. 

“That’s rude.” Jungkook whines, grinning with his nose scrunched up. Only he could do that. Smile like that. You flip him off. Still, he doesn’t go away. Just rests his chin on your shoulder. “No but seriously, you’ll get there, baby. Don’t think too much. If it works, then it works, if not we’ll find another way.” Coaxes. You sigh for the ninth time and relax. He’s right, this is not life, except it is life for you at the moment. Yet you nod in agreement. Jungkook lets out a hum in satisfaction, then pulls away from your personal space. “Let’s go have dinner now, shall we?” Asks, already getting to his feet. You tilt your head up to look at him. 

Oh, your sweet Jungkook!

There comes that painful clench in your heart. You still haven’t talked with him. Now you know what you’re doing. You’re making excuses. You’re taking everything in your life as an excuse not to have that conversation. From your health to your baby. Then it was about his finals and your petty art competition. Now what? Oh, you can definitely think about a hundred more excuses. Like the fact that he’s in such a good mood today. Apparently has submitted his final assignment for the semester, being done with his college life. Has prepared a whole feast today for the two of you just because he’s happy. That conversation would ruin it. You can’t do that now, can you? 

Selfish. Completely, unforgivably, cruelly selfish. How could you do that to him? To Jungkook? Out of all the people? Then what should you do? Have the talk now? He wouldn’t be smiling like that after it, though. And you won’t be in a place to design a game launch backdrop. Still, you should do it right? The perfect time you’re looking for will not come ever. Because you don’t want it to come. You’ll always find a reason not to have the confrontation. Maybe you should do it. Just do it. 

“C’mon, get up!” Jungkook urges you to your feet, snapping you out of your thoughts. You let him pull you up. “You're gonna love Bulgogi.” He informs, eyes glinting. He’s gone so far with the dinner tonight, overworking himself. He’s so happy. You’ll ruin it if you open your mouth for the wrong thing. Then, how long are you gonna drag this up? 

Jungkook starts dragging you out of the room. You just follow him, mind spiraling. Yet with no decision about what to do as you make it to the living room. 

………………..

You sit on the floor, legs crossed and across from Jungkook on the coffee table turned into the dinner table for the night. You take a look at all the food Jungkook has placed on it, with wide eyes. 

“Oh my God, why did you make so much food, Kook. It’s only the two of us.” You already knew he was making a feast but he exceeds your expectations with this. “We won’t be able to finish these.” 

“That’s why we have a fridge.” Jungkook nonchalantly hands you a pair of chopsticks. You take them, sighing. Looks like you’ll be eating until you can’t anymore. You pick a slice of Bulgogi Jungkook boasted about so much. And the first bite gets you moaning. You immediately dig in again, causing Jungkook to smile at you. Fondly. So fondly that you are afraid he’ll turn into a cotton candy. That’s how sweet he looks. Okay, fuck, you can’t let him keep going like that. His whole world revolving around you. Taking care of you. Being happy when you’re happy. Sad when you’re sad. Just existing to please you when you can’t give him anything in return. No. You’ve dragged this out long enough. It’ll be now or never. He’s happy, yes. He’ll always be either too happy or too sad to have a heart breaking conversation. You’ll not be able to focus on anything else after you break his heart. His pain will make you hurt. But guess what? You don’t care about your wellbeing anyway. Not at this moment. 

You put back the chopsticks slowly. Jungkook glances up at you through his lashes, his own mouth full of rice. You’re doing this. Yes. For better or for worse.“Jungkook…” You begin slowly. Your heart beating in your throat. Your chest tightening up.  He hums in answer. Still too distracted to read the room. To understand that you’re no longer smiling. “We…I need to ta—” 

Your voice gets cut off by the sudden sound of your phone ringing. Your eyes instinctively fall at the phone screen that is lit up with an incoming call. By an unknown number. Brows knitted together, you pick up the phone. Whoever that’s calling, this is the worst time. You should hang it up and carry on with your talk. Right? Right? Or should you? 

“Oh, it might be Jin, or someone else from the company.” The words leave your mouth even before you can think about it. Jin won’t call you at this hour. No will anyone else from the company. Why would they when they don’t even know you. Excuses. Again. But you take it despite all the promises you made yourself. You pick up the phone and press it to your ear. “Hello!” You greet with a very forced enthusiasm. Using your customer service voice. High pitched and chirpy. It’s truly amazing how you are able to fake that voice even when your heart is still beating madly. Jungkook eyes you curiously for a second but then proceeds to stuff his mouth with almost everything. A deep silence occurs from the other side of the line. “Hello!” So you chirp again. Still polite and energetic. 

“Li!” Then there comes a voice. And you freeze. Call it a gut feeling but just at the first word you know something bad is coming, even though you don’t recognize the voice. “I need a favor.” The voice continues. Like that you recognize the voice. How could you not recognize your own voice? Your already beating heart picks up even more for a different reason this time. 

“Li–Liya?” You dumbly look for a clarification when you damn well know it’s her. Jungkook pauses his hand mid air. A piece of Kimchi trapped between his chopsticks. He gapes at you. Then drop the cutlery without a care. 

“Yes,” Liya answers you through the phone. “Are you free? I need to talk to you.” Says without any further ado. You look at Jungkook with wide eyes. As if he’s the one talking to you. Jungkook widens his eyes. 

“Is that Liya? Kim Liya?” He leans forward. You nod just once. Jungkook scoffs. “Hang up the phone.” Almost gets to his feet as you scoot back defensively. Well, it’s not that you want to talk with Liya. She’s the last person you want to have a chit chat with. But, something in you—probably the guilt—won’t let you just follow Jungkook’s orders. “Noona!” He exclaims in bewilderment as you clear your throat. 

“Why?” You answer Liya’s question with another question. “Why do you want to talk to me?”

“You’ll know if you talk to me, won’t you? Isn’t that the purpose of talking? What’s the point if I just tell you now?”  

Okay, you should hang up the phone. This is ridiculous. The edge in her voice. The amused undertone, as if she’s talking to the dumbest bitch in the world causing your blood to spike. 

“Can you?” Yet before you can hang up, she asks again. This time her voice is a bit quietened. The edge and the amused tilt gone. If you didn’t know any better you’d say you heard the desperation. “Please…” Oh, you definitely heard the desperation. Kim Liya just pleads with you. That should talk thousands of unspoken words. Come to think of it, you know she would never call you if she wasn’t desperate. She’s desperate. It doesn’t matter what Jimin thinks, she hasn’t found a way yet. Now she’s here, wanting to talk to you. And you can only think about one topic that she’d want to talk about. She wants you to help her with making herself better. You don’t know how. But shouldn’t you help if you can?

“Noona, hang up the phone for fuck’s sake!” Jungkook hurries to his feet and walks around the table. You twist your body away from him. Things that happened the past few weeks have shifted your mind away from concerns about Liya. You’ve come to believe Jimin’s words and think Liya would find a way and it’s out of your control. Yet you’d be lying if you say that she didn’t cross your mind here and there. Maybe, it’s not genuine concern. It’s just a need to feel less guilty about what you did. It was there, nonetheless. Now, you have a chance to actually do it. You need to help her. You have to help her. Even though a voice inside your head is screaming at you that this is going to end badly. 

“Okay.” You breathe out after a long second, ignoring Jungkook’s attempts to snatch your phone away. So do you ignore his gasp at your next words. “When?” 

“Now.” Liya simply says, making you snap your head toward the window to double check the hour. It’s late. Dark as hell outside. 

“What do you mean now? Where are you?” You rush to your feet, Jungkook hissing on your ear. 

“I’m outside the restaurant. This can’t wait, Li. I need to talk to you now.” 

Okay fuck. This is crazy. And did you think she’s asking? Of course, not. She’s already here. She’s not asking if you could meet her but demanding that you meet her. She already knew you’d say yes. Well, you already said yes. It’s better to get it done sooner than later. 

“Fine, gimme a second.” With that you hang up the phone, already moving toward the front door. “Liya wants to meet me, she’s outside now.” You let Jungkook know while you move. 

“And you fucking said yes? Are you kidding me, Noona?” Jungkook catches up to you. Walks around you just to stand up in front of you and block your path. “You gonna meet her?”

“Yes, I am Jungkook,” You try to sidestep him. Fail. He successfully blocks your path again. 

“Are you fucking crazy? Why the fuck would you do that? You know she’s not gonna congratulate you or something. You know this is trouble!” Jungkook barks. 

“Oh, c’mon, she needs help. And I owe her at least that, don’t you think.” You try in vain to get to the door again, your patience running thin. 

“No, I don’t think so. You don’t owe her anything, Noona. How many times do I have to tell you? It’s Jimin’s fault—”

“Jimin can’t clap with one hand, can he?” You snap. Jungkook could be ridiculous sometimes. “It’s my fault as much as his. This is Liya’s space and I stole it and it makes me feel like shit and it’ll always make me feel that way. So, I’m going to help her whether any of you like it or not. Now, move.” This time you successfully manage to step around and continue to your intended location. You hear Jungkook sighing in resignation. 

“Okay, what if she tries something funny? I’m coming with you then.” Jungkook only gets to take one step forward before you turn around, glaring at him hard enough to make him freeze. 

“No, you are not, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Why not?” 

“Becuase, you can’t take care of me all the time. You need to st—” You bite on your tongue to stop the venom pouring out. You were so close to letting it all out. Not now. Not when Liya is waiting outside. You need to handle one thing at a time. You need to make it fair to Jungkook. You’ll sit down and talk to him with a clear mind. Not when you’re slowly getting angry at his persistence and getting nervous about Liya. You take a deep breath. “I’m a big girl Jungkook. I can handle myself. You don’t–can’t take care of me all the time. I’m going to be a mom right? How can I take care of my baby if I can’t just have a conversation with um–um… my boyfriend’s ex, who also happens to be…my…altrenate version…” Oh, that really doesn’t sound good. But you’ll finish what you started now..

“Still…” Jungkook rubs his face with both his hands. He seems not concerned about what you tried to say and didn’t.  

“I’ll be fine, Kookie. What do you think will happen? That she’ll hold a gun to my head or something?”  You pick up your coat, open the door not bothering to change your slippers. 

“Considering that it’s Liya, of course that can happen.” He argues back but stays where he is. You roll your eyes. What a ridiculous idea? Even if Liya is a CEO and the daughter of Kim—genetically or not, there’s no way in hell that she could do something like that. Right? Can she? You pause midstep, your hand barely raised toward the door handle. 

“If I don’t come back within thirty minutes, then come looking for me.” You mumble without looking back at Jungkook. 

“So, you are scared that she’d do something bad.” Jungkook bellows. 

“No, I am not!” You shout back, stepping out and closing the door behind you. 

……………………….

You exit through the front doors of the restaurant. The cold autumn air instantly bites on to your skin horribly, causing you to wrap your arms around yourself. You first look into your right. Find no familiar white car among the few vehicles parked there. Then you look to your left, eyes squinting to find the car you’re looking for. You don’t get to look that hard when Liya saves you the trouble and switches on the headlights. She’s parked a few blocks away from the restaurant. And the sight of the vehicle suddenly gives you a sick feeling. You’ve always felt uncomfortable in Liya’s presence. Of course, you did. You’ve been cheating with her boyfriend behind her back. Even now you feel the same uneasily sensation in your tummy. That paired with Jungkook’s words really do make you stay rooted to your spot and consider your life decisions. 

Maybe this is a bad idea? Maybe you should’ve hung up the phone and lived…how exactly? Happily? God, what are you even thinking? This is not a drama and Liya is not a murderer. She’s obviously not going to hold you at gun point. She’ll have the time of her life if she knows that you’re scared of her. Cursing yourself mentally, you start to walk forward. Don’t stop until you’re standing next to Liya’s car. And nor do you waste any time slipping inside the passenger seat. The pleasant warmth inside wraps around you like a comfy blanket yet do nothing to rid the coldness inside your body. You exhale as you close the passenger side door and sit properly. Your heart going mad inside your chest. And that’s all you can hear. Only your own heart beats as a deafening silence follows. 

Silence!

You look at Liya once, finding her eyes trained forward. So you do the same. 

Silence!

Your heart is going to explode. You bunch up your coat between your fingers. 

Silence!

Okay this is unbearable. If she doesn’t talk, then you should.

“So—”

“Is it true?” Liya beats you up to it. You furrow in annoyance at how rude she does that and look at her with confusion. But then it all gets resolved when you find her eyes no longer looking out through the windscreen. Instead her eyes are on you. Your stomach to be precise. 

Oh!

Your hands instinctively go to cover your belly. Still the same as how it was a week before. Or a week before that week. There’s no visible bump yet. Liya can’t see any difference in you at all. But she knows. Somehow she does. Jimin said he didn’t tell her. Then how? Does it matter? It’s not like you’d be able to keep it a secret forever. Not that you want to anyway. 

“Yes.” Hence your simple answer. 

Liya scoffs. “Well, then that’s what changed. Here I thought it was about Jimin.” Grips the steering wheel tight. You know what she’s talking about. She’s been convinced that Jimin was your reason that stopped the shifting. Honestly, you’ve thought the same. The thought that it might be your baby never crossed your mind. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. You try not to think too much about it. Instead you open your mouth to ask her what she wanted. Just to change your mind when she starts speaking again. Eyes back on somewhere you can’t see. “Jimin must be so god damn happy. He always wanted kids. He wanted to get married and have kids soon after we moved in together,” She trails on. You clench your jaw, doing your utmost best not to get irritated. “Maybe it was all my fault. Because I always said no. I said later.” 

“It was your choice to make.” You blurt out. Every story has two sides. It indeed was her choice to decide when she wanted to get married or have kids. Nobody should accuse her of not wanting it when Jimin did. And was that the reason why they fell out of love? Were they ever actually in love? Why do Jimin love you? Because you’re ready to have his kids when Liya didn’t? Okay, you need to stop. Those evil questions won’t get you anything good in your life. You did what felt right for you. Nobody should accuse you of wanting it when Jimin did either. It was your choice. 

“It was, wasn’t it?” She finally turns her head to look at you. “Then why am I feeling so jealous?” Another glance of your stomach. “Why am I feeling so bitter?” 

“You didn’t love Jimin, Liya. You know that.” You ignore her question. Liya rolls her eyes. 

“Why’s everyone keep saying that? You are not me, Li. You don’t know what I feel or what I felt, just because you’re me from a different world. Stop doing that.” She keeps her voice calm and steady despite the hidden rage behind her words. You can hear it. Can hear it and your brain reacts to it. It’s through gritted teeth that you throw out your next words.

“Then what? You did love him?” 

“I don’t know!” Liya practically screams. You flinch. “Okay? I don’t fucking know.” 

Oh, but you do. “You didn’t love him, Liya. You loved the idea of Park Jimin. You loved having him as your boyfriend. He was the prize you won for going against your father for the first and last time of your life and you wanted to keep the prize so everyone would know you won. That you keep winning. That is not love. That’s not fair on him. I know I’m wrong. I know he’s wrong but maybe, just maybe he deserved someone who loves him, not someone who keeps him as a fucking trophy.” You ramble so fast and so hard that you end up gasping for air. Liya gapes at you with wide eyes, clearly not expecting an outburst from you. She looks stunned. You wait for the refusal. Wait until she declines, saying that you don’t know her. It doesn’t come. Eleven after a long full minute of silence all you receive is a shrug. 

Fuck! Did she just admit that?

“Doesn’t matter what it is now, does it?” In the end she chokes out a laugh. “I already lost him, and…” She exhales loudly. You think it’s more to collect herself than to ease the pain. Is she in pain? She certainly doesn’t look good. She had such radiating skin which now looks dulled and withered. She had such bright eyes which now look hollow and dark. You always thought Liya was and is the better version of you. Both regarding looks and life. Even though you are the same person, she’s  always looked prettier and she's a darn CEO. What else is there to achieve? You’ve often wondered how and why Jimin fell in love with you. Well it somehow happened. The aftermath? Liya has lost her glow. She’s literally dying. If you don’t help her she’ll be dead soon. All because of you. 

“I don’t care anymore,” Liya pulls her act together faster than you expected. “All I care now is surviving, Li. I won’t just let you steal my life. I hate losing, you know? I always hated losing.” She spills the words out in such rage but her voice is still calm. “I want my life back and I need a purpose to hang on to my life. I want a reason to keep going so you won’t steal it entirely.” Liya keeps rambling. The sickening feeling inside you returns, making your guts churn. This time it’s guilt. You never intended to steal it. Nor do you want to steal it. You desperately want to say it but Liya doesn’t give you a chance. “You know what, Li? My whole life, there was only one reason that kept me going. Winning. I woke up everyday to win something more. Why? So my goddamn father would be proud about me,” Another wet choke. You’re scared she’d cry. You don’t know what to do. “Guess what? He’ll never be proud. Now? After what Jimin did? Never!” 

“I no longer care about it either. He can’t accept me as his daughter? Fine. I don’t want to be his daughter anymore, but…” She turns to you. Now you can see her eyes burn with fire. Not the bright glow she usually has in them but a fire that would burn you down. “I still have to keep winning. Because that’s my reason. My business is my baby, Li. I poured my life into it and I will not let any of you take it away from me.” You try to speak for the hundredth time when she starts to shuffle around, twisting her body around and reaching for a large envelope on the back seat. She hands it over to you. You, utterly confused, open the envelope to peek inside, finding it full with white papers. “People know that my father is a shareholder of R.U.N, but they don’t know that it was his money that built the place.” Liya explains as you keep glancing at the stack of papers inside. Having no idea about what she’s getting at.“They don’t know Jimin and his friends were little gold diggers and used me for money.” Your head snaps up from the papers in your hands. Eyes wide. 

“What?” You scowl. “That’s not true they didn’t—” 

“And who’s gonna believe them,” Liya taps her forefinger on the envelope. “Jimin signed the contract, Li…You probably don't know about these because you’re a little dumb college girl.” You try to interfere but she doesn’t let you. “That doesn’t mean everyone is dumb. This contract’s going to be enough to prove that they—Jimin, used me for money and then cheated on me.” 

You suck in a sharp breath. Guilt instantly turning into blind, bristling anger. Why did you ever think this would be a good idea? Jungkook was so right. This is Kim Liya and she doesn’t ask. No. She demands. 

“You got to be fucking kidding me, Liya. Are you threatening him?” 

Liya clicks her tongue. The Liya who sat here with a haggard look is nowhere to be seen. She’s gone like a flick of a switch. In her place now sits a woman who’s spitting venom in your face. Amused. A slick smile on her lips. “Course not, he is not here. I am threatening you, dummy.” Her smile widens. “Now, Jimin is really something, I’d give him that. Either he should be really stupid or really brave to launch a game when his reputation has been damaged so badly. He still has his little followers, I know that. Some people would do anything for a pretty face and toned abs,” She shakes her head in  disappointment. “And he’s lucky that some don’t like me. They’d support Jimin just because they hate me. But, with this thing out,” Another tap on the envelope. “The company will receive a considerable amount of backlash. They’d see Jimin as the little gold digger—” 

“Okay, shut the fuck up!” You finally snap. Seething. Seeing red. This is a mistake and you were stupid enough to think that this would’ve gone any other way. Still you won’t sit here looking dumb while she insults your Jimin that way. “You’ve gone fucking crazy, Liya.” You mutter through clenched teeth. “I wanted to help you. Really help you. But this?” You hold the stupid envelope before your face. “Is stupid.” You ignore the way Liya smirks, not deterred by your words even a little bit. “And if you think I’m gonna do anything you ask me to do…then you need to get your head checked. Fuck off!” You almost turn around and get out of the car. Almost. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you, Li.” Liya stops you with a stern edge to her voice. You pause. “I mean you can leave, no one's holding you hostage here, but I want you to understand how serious this is. I want you to know that I am not joking. I will do it!” You glare at her with all your might. Anger swirling inside you like a volcano that is about to burst. Oh you can hit her. Damn the guilt. This is unacceptable. “And also I’ll make sure that no one…not a single soul on this earth would want to support R.U.N. I might not be a people pleaser who always says yes to everyone but I am a convincing liar, Li. That’s how I manage to survive in this world full of vultures. So, listen to me carefully, I don’t care what I have to do. A pretty little  lie can go a long way. A few tears, and bruises, and a good story will do the trick.” 

You freeze. It’s not that you didn’t take her seriously. You did since the very first moment she handed you the damn envelope. With everything in you, you believed she would totally do it. Now, though, as her words sink in, you feel like your blood runs cold. She’s going to accuse Jimin. Of something he’s never done. Never even thought of doing. But who would the people believe? Him, who already cheated on his girlfriend with—as they belive—her twin sister or a woman who’s crying in distress. Covered in bruises. You grit your teeth so hard that your jaw aches. Still you find yourself unable to stop it. Completely prickling with anger that your ears are ringing, sight turning hazy and not even being able to speak. Liya takes full advantage of it. 

“I hope you don’t want that, right, Li? Imagine being the reason why your lover loses everything. If it weren't for you, none of this could’ve happened. This is all because of you. Then you’ll have to watch Jimin crumble,” She gasps softly. Like she just remembered something. “Oh, and then can you imagine having to raise a baby in such a household. Father going bankrupt…then comes the lawsuits. Debt. The bills. It’s not like you can be of any help now, can you?” A smirk twists her face. 

“You’re fucking crazy…” You breathe out, your voice hoarse and uneven. You’re at the brink of crying. You don’t want to. Never want to show how weak you are. 

“I am…I am very crazy. You’ve made me that way. Now listen here babes, it’s still not late. I don’t want any of this. I just want my business back. And my life. I hope Jimin has already told you what I want—” 

“Fuck no, Liya. No fucking way!” You rage, fingers fisting around the envelope and crumpling a corner. “He already said no. You will not use him anymore.” You shake your head. Madly. “No you won’t. I thought you were a smart woman, Kim Liya. This ain’t gonna work. You think your father will believe it when Jimin goes back and claims that you never broke up?” 

“He will…” 

“How?! Jimin claimed it was not you in the videos.” 

“And you think my parents believe that they have a daughter whom they never knew of?” Liya leans forward. A brow raised. “Do you think my mom will believe that she gave birth to two girls without ever knowing it? I mean my father isn’t the biggest believer of my mom but even he knows that she only ever gave birth to me. To them it was me who was on the videos. It was me who brought shame. And…” She bites on to her bottom lip. Face suddenly brightening up. “We don’t need rational reasons to explain his actions, Li. All we do need is to agree to destroy the evidence Jimin found on my father and voilà! We have a deal. Mr Kim is gonna vote for me at the next board meeting. He’s gonna accept that me and Jimin are still together and give me whatever he owes me.” She rubs her palms together. “I’m gonna get what I want and you both can live happily ever after. Isn’t that a good deal?”

No it’s not…It’s definitely not. For how long would they have to do it? To pretend like a couple? Jimin would never agree to this. This means he falls back into the Kim family's trap. Back to being their little puppet. Liya must think you're a little idiot but you have enough brain to know that she’s never going to stay true to her words. She’ll ruin you. She’ll ruin Jimin. She’ll ruin everyone who caused her distress. Revenge! 

“Think about it, honey.” Liya squeals at your silence. “You have a week. Convince Jimin. Be smart, okay.” 

Be smart!

You deflate. All hope vanishes with the bristling rage that coursed through your veins. Liya would do it and you can only think about one way to stop it. Convince Jimin to help Liya. Using your own way. He should never know that this conversation happened. 

Be smart!

…………………………….

Your head is going to explode. You’ve had this terrible headache ever since last night. Then with little to no sleep, now you feel like you’re half dead. You would like nothing more than curling into a little ball and sleeping for a whole week. No, maybe for a whole year. You’re absolutely exhausted. Still, you can’t do anything but think, think, and think. You’re paralyzed from fear. You want to do something about Liya’s threat. Something that is rational. Not cowardly and do exactly as she says. 

Fuck, you can’t even imagine going through the same thing again. Watching from afar as Jimin pretends to be Liya’s boyfriend. Isn’t it funny that you and he did that too? Only if  this would end from there, though. It won’t. It’s not just being her boyfriend in front of her father. No. Jimin would have to destroy whatever he found on Mr Kim. Any evidence or dirt that made mighty Kim stays with the company. With that leverage gone, he would definitely pull out from the company. This is again a no win situation. They would lose it all. Again. Even after the effort Namjoon put in. After every horrible thing went through, they’d still fail. But agreeing to Liya would actually give them a slight chance. Because it’s Liya. 

You feel like your whole body goes limp. Lips so dry that wetting them with your tongue feels like licking sand paper. The mere thought that you have no other options but to agree to Liya and do as she says makes you want to rip your hair away. But after spending a whole night awake and half of today, you’ve finally come to the realization that you have to do it. It doesn’t matter how bad it’ll hurt. You can’t let them fail. Not now when they’re so close. If not, it would be all because of you. Like Liya said, none of this would’ve happened if it weren’t for you. You have to do it. 

“You okay, baby?” Jimin’s voice makes you slightly jump on your seat. After realizing that you’ll have to go through this. You’ve decided to talk to Jimin as soon as you can. It’s better to get this done faster if you must do it. What's the use of delaying it if the results are going to be the same no matter what. Hence, your sudden request for Jimin to meet you for lunch. At Kim’s restaurant. The Bibimbap Jungkook— who’s currently working at the restaurant full time until he finds a real job—made for you is only touched by Jimin so far. “Why aren’t you eating?” He asks through a mouthful. 

You’ve been doing your very best to act natural since you called him. Liya’s advice or not, letting Jimin know what had truly happened wouldn’t do any good but make him angry. You have to act smart. Yet with every passing second it’s becoming harder and harder. One of these moments, this facade will crack and your plan, which doesn’t really exist will be ruined. “Not hungry, really.” You show him all of your teeth, hoping that it is a very convincing smile. Of course, it is not. Jimin raises a brow in question. You know he sensed something the moment he laid eyes on you a few minutes ago. How could he not? Even Jungkook had questioned you more than a few times. Luckily, you managed to brush his concern off. 

“Okay, what’s going on?” Jimin gives up on eating. “You seem off.” His eyes dull with a look torn between worry and confusion. 

“No, Park, I’m fine,” You wave a hand in the air. 

No you’re not! You just need to take this out. Talk to him. You just don’t know how.

“Lil, don’t make me worried, okay?” Jimin scans his eyes over your figure, like he could find a clue written somewhere in your body. 

Okay, this is going nowhere. You called him so you could get this out and be done with it. Dragging this out isn't good. It makes you feel more nervous. More scared. Oh you wanna throw up. You are going to throw up. You clutch your own t-shirt tightly. “Ah, I just wanted to talk to you,” You start, avoiding looking at him, keeping your eyes on the food. 

“And?” Jimin urges you. “Then talk to me, baby.” 

“Yes…” You slowly look at his face, tugging the corner of your lips up with great effort. 

Act normal. Act normal… 

Jimin waits patiently. 

“So, Liya visited me.” With one last breath, you blurt out. Jimin’s face immediately turns from understanding to annoyance. 

“What? When?” He demands without letting you explain any further. You don’t know a way to approach this. Somehow you think you need to lay at least a partial truth out in the open. After your pregnancy chaos, you’ve sworn to yourself never to lie to Jimin again. But here you are about to do just that. 

“Yesterday—” 

“And you’re only telling me now?” Jimin barks. Makes you flinch and glance around embarrassed. 

“She visited me last night.” You whisper yell. His sudden outburst makes your nausea and fear worsen. You’re at edge. There’s so much pressure inside you. And you don’t appreciate him getting mad at you. It makes something bristle inside you. A perfect opportunity to project all your pent up frustration at the wrong target. You don’t want that. 

“And?” Jimin asks as if it’s obvious that you should’ve told him earlier. “Okay, it doesn't matter. What did she want?” Though, he decides to pay attention to the important bits at last. You gulp. Here you go. 

“Nothing, I mean…she just wanted help.” You carefully consider your words. Words that would convince Jimin to help her without talking about the threat. You watch the way Jimin’s expression hardens. He’s about to say fuck it. You beat him up to it. “Listen, Jimin, I think we should help her.” You grip the table with your both hands. Lean forward. Jimin furrows, mouth forming a circle. 

“What do you mean?” Questions in pure disbelief. 

“I know you said that she’ll come up with another way but apparently there is no other way. She–um…she looked so sick and–and we can’t just let it happen, can we?” 

“What are you suggesting?” Jimin doesn’t acknowledge your ramble fully as he eyes you suspiciously. 

“I—” You are starting to tremble. You don’t know how to say it. A way to make it sound less crazy and ridiculous. “I mean we can—can just talk with her father and—” 

“Holy fuck, Lil!” Jimin barks out a laugh. Not amused. No. Just in pure disbelief. As if he wants this to be a joke. “Do you even hear what you’re saying?” 

“I know…” You almost stand up in your desperation. “I know it’s ridiculous and all but what if she really dies, Jimin?” 

“She won’t.” 

“How could you be so sure?” 

“She’s Liya. She’ll find a way. This is just the easy way for her.” 

“But what if it’s not!” You can’t help but raise your voice a bit. “If she can't find a way and something bad really happens, then it’ll be our fault, Jimin. My fault! We at least owe her that.” 

“We don’t owe her shit, Lil. And stop saying it’s your fault for fuck’s sake! She wasn’t exactly good, was she?” 

“She didn’t cheat on you!” You no longer care about people overhearing you. Fuck everyone. It seems Jimin doesn’t care either. 

“And what? Is this how you are going to live the rest of your damn life? Our life? Just being guilty over and over again. We—you need to let that go! We did what we did and agreed to live with that.”

“I could’ve if I can make sure she lives a peaceful life.” You almost bang the table in frustration. “I would never have a peace of mind if she fucking dies because of me. I can’t just—” 

“With what did she threaten you with?” Jimin’s question lands out of nowhere, effectively shutting you up. Your eyes widen. All you do is make the mistake of staying silent for zero point one second. Just too surprised to answer right away. Surprised that he figures that out. And when you open your mouth to deny the accusation, it is already too late. You’ve given yourself away. 

“She did not—”

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Lil.” Jimin snaps. You suck in a shaky breath. There’s only so much you could do to prevent yourself from falling into a completely unrelated, unrealistic and childish assumption at his words. You don’t know what’s happening to you. Maybe you’ve been on edge for too long, having no way to express your emotions. Or maybe you’ve been jealous, letting your mind wander through all the scenarios that would happen once Jimin starts to pretend-dating Liya. Again. Whatever the reason could be, a swirl of green starts to leak into your vision, mixing with the red. 

“Why do you think I’m lying?” You inquire, your voice calming down for the first time. Calm and collected. So calm that sends shivers down your own spine. 

“Because, I fucking know her.” 

There he goes. The envious green completely obstructs your view. You know you shouldn’t. You knew you shouldn’t attack on the wrong target. It’s just the pent up emotions. You need a healthy way to take them out. Not this way. Jimin is not your punching bag. But you can’t help it. Can’t help the bitter scoff. 

“Great!” You stand up abruptly. “Then you shouldn’t ask me what she said. You know her anyway. Maybe, you should’ve stayed with her since you know her so damn well!” You clench your jaw hard so you won’t yell through top of your lungs in the middle of a restaurant. The restaurant that you work at. 

You are just pathetic. There’s no other way to describe how you’re acting right now. Yet you can’t care. You ignore the incredulous look Jimin throws your way as you turn around and storm away. You don’t bother to look back. Just straight away walk toward the front glass door and barge into the bustling street. If you’re to think it through when your mind is clear, you’ll see how stupid you are being. But at the moment, you aren’t ready to think and your mind is a jumble of emotions. You see nothing but red. You hear nothing but a white noise. This is the anger you felt last night. The anger you couldn’t let out. You want to scream. You want—

“What the fuck did you say?” You yelp as a tight grip on your arm yanks you around. Your brief lived surprise at the sudden movement turns into another reason to worsen the state of the ugly monster inside you when you meet with Jimin’s eyes. Darkened with anger. That monster starts raging. Clawing at your skin. 

“I said, you should’ve stayed with her since you know her—” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jimin shakes you by your arm. You can’t even consider the fact that you’re outside and people can see you. 

“Wrong with me? I don’t know, Jimin…maybe, everything…” You’re panting like a bull. “You could’ve been just fine if you stayed with her—” 

“Could I?” Jimin yells before he catches himself and takes a deep breath. “Lil…” Then he mumbles. His tone is much gentler this time. 

“No,” You don’t let him continue, though. “I’m fucking serious. You could’ve been fine. Everyone safe and—and, of course you’ve been together for five years and you know each other so damn well. Maybe I should…I should…” You bite back your words. Not knowing what you are going to say. Yet even without the knowledge of what your next words are going to be, you feel your heart clenches painfully. “I—”

“Don’t.” Jimin forgets about staying calm. He yells so loud that few passersby stop to glance at you. In disgust. “Don’t even fucking think about it. Don’t do it.” He yanks you forward, closer to him. “Don’t ever try to push me away, Lil. Not even for my sake.” He grips your other arm as well. Tight. “Becuase nothing’s gonna be solved. If anything, I’d be just so miserable without you.  I’ve said this once but I’ll say it again, Spring Roll, it wasn’t your fault. Maybe, I did it the wrong way but we—Liya and I wouldn’t have lasted anyway. It wasn’t you. And, her pain—this situation is not your fault either… trust me. She’s just trying to get revenge. Attack you. The person who she thinks ruined her life. If she’s really capable of doing what she’s saying she’ll do, then she would be threatening me, Lil, not you. Do you hear me?” Another tight shake.

You blink at Jimin’s face. The storm of emotions in your body suddenly drains into something heavy. Heavy as you realize what you were about to say a minute ago. What were you thinking? Jimin is right. What is wrong with you? How? How could you even think about something like pushing him away. He is your Jimin. Oh, you can’t breathe. This time not because of anger, though. Your heart becomes so heavy that you find it impossible not to tear up. Then Jimin’s words make it worse. Worse and worse. 

“You need to stop thinking that everything is your fault, baby. Stop thinking you can fix everything. I—we went through this already, Lil. You were supposed to tell me. You were supposed to let me know when something bad happens. I don’t like to be in bed, getting ready to sleep while someone is fucking threatening the woman I love. You said you wouldn’t lie to me again. You said—”

“But she promised to ruin the new launch, what was I supposed to do, Jimin. I was so–so…I—” Your voice cracks, making it impossible for anyone to understand what you’re babbling. “She—she—” You try again. Steadying your voice with all your might. “She said she’ll let people know that her father funded your business.” 

“So what?” Jimin blurts. Evidently, not seeing the bigger picture. 

“She said she’ll make you look as–as you used her and then dumped her…” From there the words finally begin to flow out. You start reciting every word of Kim Liya as if you’re living in the exact moment. Tears finally starting to roll down. You don’t stop until you let it all out. Shaking but strangely feeling calm after you’ve poured everything out. “I don’t want you or anyone else to go through this shit again, Jimin.” You turn your head down, keeping your gaze at Jimin’s feet. His Chelsea boots. “Not again. You only just figured things out and about to get it done… finally… and-and this would send us back to square one.” Jimin sighs, then slowly curses. But his grip on you loosens. The next thing you feel his fingers under your chin as he urges you to look back at him. 

“She can’t do that.” He cups your cheek, slowly rubbing under your eye with his thumb. “I mean she can…but that’s not just gonna work, Lil. Those’d be just baseless lies and I can sue her.” 

“You can sue her but the launch will be ruined already by the time you do that. And what’s the point of winning the case when you’ve lost something you’ve worked so hard for?” 

“I won’t lose anything. Liya is a smart woman but she’d been stupid this time. She’s not thinking things through. She’s in a rush so she chose to threaten you too soon, Lil. She just gave me enough time to prepare.” Jimin shrugs. So nonchalantly that you suddenly feel really stupid. That’s it? You were just being paranoid?

“But—but—”

“Baby,” Jimin grabs your face with both of his palms. Peers into your eyes. “It’s going to be fine.” He kisses the tip of your nose. “I’m not gonna just sit back and watch her ruin it. If she can play, then I can play too. See this is why you should just tell me when someone thinks they can blackmail you,” He furrows for a second. Then sighs. “Please don’t keep me out, Lil. Nothing…no one is worth to me than you are. I really don’t give a fuck. So, don’t ever try to bring something in between. I’m not asking you, okay?” A small smile appears on his lips. “I’m telling you. Don’t do that. It’s not gonna work, anyway. I won’t let you go even if you tell me you’d cut my dick off. You. are. stuck, baby. Just tell me when something like that happens, okay. No one is worth being apart from you or fighting with you. Don’t waste our time together for other’s sake, Lil, because even if I have a lifetime with you that won’t be enough.” 

You close your eyes, trying to compose yourself. Then a simple nod. “I know, I’m sorry.” You croak. Then smile. Genuine this time. “But for your information Mister, I’m still so happy to be stuck with you and I’m so grateful that you won’t let me go, even if that puts your dick in danger.”

Jimin snorts. “Yes, that should mean a lot.” Your smile widens. Oh, you are such an idiot. You shouldn’t have met her in the first place and then you shouldn’t have let her play you that way. Both are stupid moves but nothing would match the fact that you thought about pushing Jimin away. How stupid to think that you’ll survive it. You won’t. You know you won’t. Maybe Jimin is bluffing. Maybe there’s a risk that Liya’s plan might work and it would fuck up there launch and the company but in the end there will be you and him. 

That will be more than enough. 

………………………..

You wave goodbye to J as she reverses the car after dropping you off. You’ve been surprised when J invited you for shopping, claiming she wants a female friend to accompany her and Yoona was too busy with her adult life. So you said yes. Simply because it would give you the much needed distraction from the latest events of your life. Despite Jimin’s words, Liya's threat still rings in the back of your head. You’re still expecting to see a huge blow out on every media every morning when you wake up. So far, that hasn’t happened. Everything seems to be calm and collected, though, it doesn’t sit right with you. 

Your trip to the mall with J has worked miracles. You have actually enjoyed gossiping with a girl and squealing at pretty dresses. And of course, trying them on. Except most of em didn’t look good on you. Or so you think. Jimin, on the other hand, has demanded you buy every piece you tried on and sent him pictures of. According to him, the little bump which is barely visible is the hottest thing in the world. 

Bullshit!

“The baby is going to be a girl, bish… trust me! Make Jimin buy you that damn doll house, it’s cute!” J yells before she finally pulls the car away. You only chuckle since she doesn’t give you enough time to answer her before she drives off. You shake your head. Somehow most of your friends are convinced your baby is going to be a girl. You and Jimin haven't decided whether you want to know the gender before the birth. Maybe you should. You turn around after J disappears and start walking toward the stairs. God, you really feel relaxed. Alive. Fresh. A long shower and a movie will definitely complete this day. With that in mind, you run up through stairs. Open the door, almost yelling your arrival to Jungkook when he steals your chance. Just as you step through the door, Jungkook charges in, making you take a surprised step back. 

“Oh hi—” You start excitedly just to swallow down your words when you notice his expression. Grim. Pissed. Brows pulled together. Glaring. 

Fuck! Jungkook is glaring at you. He never glares at you. Something is not right!

“What hap—” You take a cautious step forward. But pause when he lashes out. 

“Did Liya threaten you?” 

Oh!

Your eyes widen in surprise. It’s not that you intentionally hid it from Jungkook. At first, you had to keep it a secret because that’s what you were supposed to do. Then after you sorted it out with Jimin you still didn’t feel like letting people know before you became sure that Liya won’t be doing anything. You had planned to let him know. Just didn’t know when. 

“How did you—” 

“Does it matter?” Jungkook barks. Not letting you ask a single thing. “She threatened you just outside my door and you didn’t think of letting me know?” He scoffs. You furrow in confusion, clearly not getting why he’s so mad. Sure, you knew he wouldn’t be the happiest to know that Liya has threatened you. Especially after he asked you not to meet her. But this? This feels ridiculous. Jungkook looks furious. No, wait…he looks hurt. 

“Kook…” You try again. This time your words trail off when your eyes land on a second figure that appears around the corner. Wearing a grim but guilty expression. Taehyung. Suddenly, you know how Jungkook learned about the threat. Taehyung sighs. 

“Li, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you haven’t—” 

“Why would you be sorry?” Jungkook cuts Taehyung off. “You did me a favor, actually.” He turns around and starts walking inside. You look at Taehyung dumbly. He rubs his face in frustration. 

“Listen Jungkook—” Taehyung follows Jungkook just to be stopped mid way when Jungkook spins around suddenly, nearly sending Taehyung hurling back. 

“Don’t, Hyung.” Jungkook glances at you over Taehyung’s shoulder. “Please leave.” Adds. Almost turns around again but this time you snap. 

“Okay, what the fuck!” You throw your bag away and stride toward Jungkook. “What the hell is going on, Jungkook? Liya threatened me and of course I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell anyone—” 

“Yeah like nobody else knows about it?” Jungkook pushes Taehyung to the side. Taehyung’s attempts to stop him turns out to be null. Jungkook closes the distance between you, saving you the trouble of walking up to him. You sigh in exasperation. Why is he acting like a kid?

“Well I had to tell Jimin for obvious reasons and he must’ve told—” 

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Stop bullshiting, Noona! You just chose not to tell me.”

“That’s not—”

“Just like you chose not to tell me that you’ll be moving out soon!” 

You close your mouth shut. Then reopen it. His words hit you like a lightning strike. You feel your head vibrate for a second, your lungs getting vacated of any air. Your eyes shift to Taehyung, who’s standing there looking like he’s about to faint. So pale and guilty. 

“Fuck.” He mutters. “Li, I’m…” He tries but you pay your attention back to Jungkook. Your head keeps throbbing and the silence that follows after Jungkook’s words stretches and wraps around you like a vein full of thorns. 

Fuck!  Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck!

Jungkook just glares at you. No. No. He’s not glaring, he’s just looking. Eyes full of pain. You swear you can see a sheen in his eyes. He looks betrayed. No! God no…You didn’t mean to. Your heart crumples. 

“Jungkook.” You take a step forward, not knowing what to say. It wouldn't have mattered even if you knew what to say as Jungkook obviously doesn’t want to hear it. You would’ve preferred it if he had slapped you than the way he immediately takes a step away from you. As if you disgust him. 

“Did you ever intend to tell me?” He asks after a second. “Or did you just plan to disappear one day?” 

“Of course not! I just–-I just—”

“You just what, Noona?” Jungkook chuckles. But that sound comes out very wet. Like he’s about to tear up any minute. “Since when do you plan to do it?” 

“Jungkook.” 

“Just answer me!” He screams. 

“Since we knew I’m pregnant!” So you do too. 

This time Jungkook laughs. A fully blown laughter. “Of course. Course, you planned this for a whole month behind my back. And you're telling me you have an excuse?” Jungkook at last takes a step toward you. His expression warring between anger and hurt. “What’s your excuse, Noona? You just didn’t want to tell me?”

“Kookie, please…” Your throat is tightening up, eyes welling with tears. Damn this! You just need a moment to tell him the reason but your words fall in deaf ears. 

“You didn’t think I’m important enough to let me know?” He keeps going. Every single word of him cutting through you like a sharp blade. “Am I that insignificant you just decided you can walk in and out of my life like I’m fucking nothing? Am I—” 

“That’s because I knew you fucking liked me and I didn’t know how to tell you without breaking your heart!!” You couldn’t take it anymore. His sharp jabs. His accusations. You scream through the top of your lungs, allowing your tears to free fall as you do. Everything falls into silence. Jungkook gapes at you. Taehyung slowly exhales. “I knew you liked me and I–I knew you wouldn’t take the news well. You didn’t take the news of the baby well. I didn’t know how—”

“So, you knew I liked you but you kept that as a secret too?” Jungkook regains his wits. This time you can’t actually decide if he’s hurt or not. He looks amused. Scary. That look is. “You knew all along but pretended like you didn’t?”

“What?” 

“Was it fun?” He smiles. “Was it fun having me following you around like a love sick puppy? Is that why you just let it happen? It should be right? You must’ve felt fucking powerful knowing I’d fucking die for you, so played me? Wow…You did great!” 

Nononono…. 

You don’t know what to say. You don’t know what to do. It hurts. It hurts everywhere. He’s making the worst kind of assumptions but can you blame him? 

“No, Jungkook…I was just scared. I was scared of breaking your heart. I was scared that you’ll just push me away. I was so scared to—to lose you.” You exhale shakily. 

“You’re so damn selfish, Noona. So fucking selfish.” Jungkook shakes his head. That amused smile still on his lips as he starts walking past you. You act on instincts. Your brain warns you of the loss about to happen. You jump forward and grab his hand. 

“No, please listen.” 

“Fucking let me be. What else do you want?” Jungkook shakes off your grip so roughly you almost fall backward. It’s Taheyung’s arms that saves you. Jungkook doesn’t even look back. He just makes it toward the front door and disappears through it. The door closes behind him with a loud thud. 

“No….nonono…” You rush to follow him. You can’t just let him go and think that you did this to him on purpose. You have to tell him why you did that. You know you’re selfish but you have to talk with him. Yet your attempt at walking fails when Taehyung holds you tightly. 

“Let him be, Li.” He mumbles in your ear. You don’t really hear him. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean this to happen.” He continues. Oh, you don’t care. You just want to go after Jungkook. You try again, making Taehyung spin you around to face him. “No, Li. Listen to me…Hey! Look at me.” He grabs your shoulders. “Just give him a moment, yeah? You will make it worse if you go after him right now. Okay?” He raises his brows, giving you a gentle shake. 

“I was meant to tell him.” You ignore whatever he is saying as you break down. Sobs after ugly sobs leaving you. Taehyung sighs, placing a hand behind your head and pulling you into a warm hug. 

“I know, I’m so sorry I ruined it. I’m so sorry, Li…this happened because of me. I just panicked when I heard Liya threatened you and Jimin is a stupid so I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t know you hadn't mentioned anything to him. I’m so sorry.” Taehyung rambles while swaying you gently. Patting the back of your head. Honestly, you don’t care why he did it or if it's his fault. It’s not his fault anyway. It’s yours. You ruined this. Taehyung is as innocent as Jungkook is. So you just nod to let him know it’s fine. “I’ll do whatever I can, okay. I’m so sorry.” He keeps apologizing and you just let him. Until you finally pull it together and manage to tell him that it’s not his fault and assure him that it’s okay to leave you alone. 

Because you want to be alone.

You deserve to be left alone. 

……………….

Your phone shows the time as 2 am in the morning. You haven’t slept a blink. Haven’t even tried to be honest. A long shower and a meal that you took just because you had to—becuase you had to think of the baby—hadn’t done anything to make you any better. Hence why you’re sitting on the foot of the couch. Feeling extremely exhausted but not wanting to go to bed. Jungkook hasn’t come home yet after he just stormed away earlier. You have tried calling him and had text him many times asking his whereabouts but he hasn’t answered to any of them. You’re getting worried now. You’ve even tried calling J and Namjoon assuming he was with them but they haven’t gotten back to you either. 

Your phone screen is full with texts but all from Jimin and Taehyung. You’ve asked Jimin not to come over as you wanted to be left alone and wanted to talk to Jungkook alone whenever you get the chance. Surprisingly, Jimin has agreed. Still, he’s been sending you texts every five minutes asking how you’re doing. You ignore his texts not feeling like replying. You do the same to Taehyung. He is still apologizing with shit ton of stickers that’s making you annoyed now. 

You sigh, throwing your phone away and glance at the ceiling. You know you deserve it but it doesn’t make it any less hurt. Curling your arms around your knees you briefly close your eyes. Just to shoot them open again in panic when you hear the door lock clicking. You waste no time scrambling into your feet just as Jungkook walks in. More like stumbling in. A sharp breath fills your lungs while you watch with wide eyes as Jungkook sways forward, moving in a crooked line. 

He stops when his eyes land on you. His face beams. Earlier anger is nowhere to be seen. Almost as if the events that happened a mere hours ago was just a hallucination of your mind. Like he’s never left the house raging with anger. Creening with pain. Almost though. You could’ve believed it yourself if it wasn’t for the way he can’t even stand straight. How he’s ready to kiss the floor any minute. 

He’s drunk! So drunk! You’ve never seen him this drunk before.

“Jungkook.” You breathe. 

“Noona!” He exclaims. Walks toward you, bumping into anything solid in his way. “What are-are you do…ing up? You wa…ited for me?” Questions as he comes closer to you. The rotten smell of whisky greets your nostrils making you nauseous. You force it to go away. He grabs your face. “Aw, you’re so…so-goodto me, aren’t you? You shouldn’t have stayed—” A tiny hiccup interrupts him. He furrows as if he can physically see the annoying thing that’s interrupting him. “Bad for the ba—” Hiccup. “Fuck! Baby.” He nods. Agreeing with himself. 

You place your hands on top of him. “I was just worried. Where were you?” You will yourself not to cry. It’s hard though. Hard when he’s looking so wrecked. You’ve done this. 

“Drinking.” Jungkook gives you a lopsided smile. Then it vanishes. “Had to drink cause—” His voice cracks. Here you go again. You fail to keep your sight clear. It blurs immediately at his words. “Cuase I wa…s-sad…I was sad, Noona. Fuck!” He chokes. “God this hurts…” He rests his forehead against you. You don’t think it would ever be possible to feel this much pain again. Your heart crumples so bad that you’re simply helpless. Your heart aches for him. You never wanted this to happen. This is what you were scared of. Breaking Jeon Jungkook. But in the end it is inevitable. 

“I know,” You give his hands a squeeze. Emotions clogging your throat that even your head starts throbbing. “I know cause it hurts me too…” You blink, giving the tears a chance to fall down. 

“It does?” Jungkook asks. Gosh, it really sounds like a genuine question. Like he really believes you don’t give a fuck. 

“Of course, it does, Kookie. I–I don’t know what you’re thinking but…but…” You trail off, not knowing what to say. Where to begin. Should you even do this now? He’s drunk. Will he even remember this coming morning? “I’m sorry. I really am sorry, Jungkook,” Yet you do it anyway. No more excuses. You’ve already broken him. In the worst way possible. Jungkook shakes his head. You peer at his glassy eyes through your wet lashes. “I know I’m so fucking selfish. I’m so selfish to wanting to keep you—”

“No, don’t s-say that…” Jungkook interrupts you. Still shaking his head. “You’re not selfish.” 

There he’s doing it again!

“No, Jungkook—”

“You’re not, Noona. You know I didn’t mean it right? I didn’t mean it when I said that earlier. I was just hurt and mad,” He keeps resting his forehead against you. His whisky laced breath fanning against your face. “No. I was scared too. I was hurt you didn’t tell me before but I was more scared, Noona. Just like you.” His fingers press into your skin. Desperate. “I was scared you’ll just leave…fuck! Don’t leave please!” 

“For fuck’s sake Jungkook…” You sob. Loud. This is worse. Maybe you can take his harsh words. This? You hold on to his hands so hard. “Don’t say that…” 

“I…” Jungkook doesn’t care about what you’re saying. You’re not sure he’s even hearing you. “I’m so glad you didn’t tell me, Noona…” 

“What?” 

“So glad you kept it a secret because you were scared of losing me. It makes me happy. Makes me feel important to you. Important enough that you can’t lose me.”

“You are important, Kook. You are…” You can’t stop crying. Now he can’t either. His tears mingle with your own. 

“Makes it feel like you love me…” Jungkook sighs. Closes his eyes. “I’m glad you wanted to keep me. I don’t care in what way. A friend? It’s fine. I’ll take it. I’m just so glad you did it…So don’t say sorry for doing it. Don’t tell me you regret it.” 

Dear God, you don’t know what to do. Why is he like this? 

“Bu–but…” You start. 

“Please don’t. If you’re selfish then I’m worse. I should’ve confessed to you. But I didn’t. Not be-because I was scared of rejection. God, I knew you’ll reject me, but I was scared that it’ll make you go away from my life forever. So, don’t, Noona. Please don’t. ” Jungkook begs. Oh, it’s a sweet temptation. An easy way out. You’ve been taking easy way outs for too long though. He’s hurt and he wants an easy way out too. He’s drunk too. But you’re not. You have to choose the hard way. 

“But it’s so fucked up, Jungkook.” So you pull your shit together. Not trying to pull away from him but keeping your voice steady. “It’s not fair to you. You need to have your own life. Trust me I never enjoyed keeping you away from a part of your life. I didn’t. I just—I know you won’t believe me but I really do love you, Kookie—”

“Nononono….” Jungkook whimpers. Like a kicked puppy. “Don’t say it. Don’t say you love me, and then you love him more…I–I do-don’t wanna hear it. I don’t care, Noona. I don’t give a fuck. Fair or not. Just don’t leave. I don’t know how it’d be without you. I know I get mad sometimes and I give you a hard time…I know I got mad when you said you wanna have the baby. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, baby…”

“Jungkook please don’t–”

“Jimin can live here too, you know.” He suddenly pulls away from you, sniffling. “I kn…ow I don’t like him but I can…um…tolerate him. Yeah.” A series of firm nods. “I totally can. Just don’t fuck in front of me, that would be awful. It’ll hurt so bad and, and—”

“Jungkook…Jungkook.. Hey!” You lace your fingers together. You have to ground him. He’s visibly losing it. “Listen to me, okay?” 

“No, I don’t wanna listen, I just want you to listen to me.” He brings both your hands up to his lips. You shudder at the feeling of his wet lips on your skin. A gentle kiss. Then another. “Just don’t leave. I don’t want to be alone. Promise I won’t bother you. I’ll just–just…” He keeps your hands pressed into his lips. Your body is trembling with sobs. You want to console him. You want someone to teach you how to do it. 

“Kookie…” You drag in a shaky breath. “You know I can’t do that.” 

“But you can. Why can’t you? Please...” He rests his forehead against your hands this time. You’re scared he’ll fall into his knees. “I don’t want anything else. You don’t have to love me. I know you’ll never love me.” Then he pauses. His eyes open wide as he regards you curiously. As if he just saw you standing here. “Will you?” Then blurts. “Would you love me if it wasn’t for Jimin? Would it have been me if you woke up in my bed? Would you–would you have chosen me if I got to you first? What if we meet in another life? Will you choose me?” 

You bite your lower lip to stop the trembling. His questions get you going still for a second. Oh, how selfish the questions are. How unfair? How rude? How are you ever gonna answer it? Because you can’t imagine a life without Jimin. This or in another. So, you just gape at Jungkook. Helpless. 

“C’mon…” Jungkook breaks. “Lie at least. Lie to me, Noona. Say you will!” 

“I’m so sorry!” You free your hands from his grip so you can throw them around his neck. “I’m so sorry, Kookie. I’m so fucking sorry.” He lets you do what you want. Simply hides his face in your neck, though it makes him bends down. 

“You’re so mean, Noona. So, fucking mean,” His tears wet your neck. Still you hold him close, tangling your fingers in his hair. 

“I know, I’m so sorry.” You say the only thing you know. 

“I don’t even know why I love you when you’re such a mean person.” Jungkook keeps sobbing into you. You sob harder than him. There is the word. Love. Finally an acknowledgment. You tighten your grip on his hair. Apologize again. Again and again. Until you feel dizzy. Until you can’t hold Jungkook in place anymore. Until he becomes too heavy. That’s only when you slowly withdraw from him, peering at his puffy face.

“Let’s talk in the morning, hm?” You wipe down his face with your palms. 

“Talk what? You’ll still move out.” 

“I have to.” 

“You don’t,” Jungkook’s tears freshen. You jump to catch them before they fall. 

“I do, Jungkook. I have to. I’m pregnant. We can’t keep living like this. You–” You gulp. “Can’t live like this. You need your own life.”

“You are my life.”

“You’ll move on. Trust me.” You caress his cheek, fighting yourself not to cry again. “Even though you don’t want to hear this, I do love you, Kookie…I love you in my own way. And I hate when you’re in pain. I want you to be happy.” Jungkook tries to protest but you don’t let him. “And I want to be a part of your life. I want to be able to walk in this house or anywhere else you chose to live like I do now. Even if you’ve found your person. I want to be their best friend. I–I want you to visit me even if you’ll fight with Jimin all the time. I don’t want to lose you. Don’t ever say you’re not important, Jungkook. You’re so important to me that I chose to hurt both of us just to keep you. But this—this isn’t gonna do us any good. I want you to be happy. I know you’re not in a shape to think things through right now. Let’s head to bed now, huh? Let’s talk in the morning?” You wait for his refusal. Surprisingly, though he nods. 

Just a nod and you find yourself taking care of Jungkook. He shows no protests as you help him change his clothes, brush his teeth, wash his face and tuck him in his bed. He doesn’t even say anything until the moment you’re finally about to leave him alone. 

“We’ll do all that, you know?” Jungkook peers at you through red rimmed, puffy eyes. He looks adorable tucked in the bed. Just his head visible to you. Then he ruins it by taking his hand out to hold yours. 

“Do what?” You ask softly. 

“I’ll keep being in your life. Even if you move out because I don’t know how to live without my alien.” You chuckle softly at that. “If you can’t stay with me here, then I’m unofficially moving in with you. Jimin can fuck off. I’m gonna keep loving you—” 

“Jung—” 

“No, Noona. You can’t do anything about it. It’s just my choice.”

“And that choice will hurt you.”

“I don’t care. I will love you until I can’t anymore. If I find someone else and move in, then that’d be my choice as well. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna cause you any problems. I’ll be just there. Promise me you’ll be there too. Like you always had. Call me Kookie. Fight with me. Laugh with me. Like we always do.” You just smile at him. Full of sorrow. Oh, your Jeon Jungkook. You don’t know how to make him understand. Your sweet Jungkook. Your stubborn Jungkook. 

“You’re an idiot.” You say with a cracked voice. 

“I know.” He smiles. That adorable smile. His pearly white teeth on display and his black eyes glinting. “And I’m gonna love this baby too.” He shifts in his position. Wiggling around like a worm until he manages to come closer to your stomach and he gently presses his hand to your tiny bump. Come to think of it, Jungkook has never petted your tummy. Hell, even Taehyung had. You never thought much of it but maybe it was because it hurt him. You blink back your tears, not wanting to cry again. You’re already exhausted as it is. “I was so jealous, Noona. So jealous that she wasn’t mine.” He caresses your tummy softly. So he thinks it's a girl too. You’re too hurt to argue though. So, you just place your hand atop his. “I was hurt. I still don’t want to let you go but if this is all I get, I’ll take it. Tell me you’ll be the same. Want you to promise, Noona.” 

You just nod. No promises. It’s too much. Feel easy but easy should mean selfish. 

“Please.” Jungkook apparently has no mercy on you. “Please, Noona. You said you love me.”

Oh, this stupid little…. “I promise. Happy?” You glare at him. He stays unphased by it. Just smiles. Happy. Nods. Then goes back to lay down on the bed normally. Closes his eyes looking contended. 

“I love you.” 

………………………..

You stare at particularly nothing as Jimin pats your hair gently with a towel. It’s been a week since the debacle with Jungkook. Staying true to his drunken rambles–which you expected he’d forgotten but he hadn’t, he started acting like you’re all good. But this time, you weren’t confused as to what he was doing. You knew. You knew he was hanging onto a thread of hope desperately. If he acts like everything normal, then you’d stay. Jungkook is an idiot. And surprisingly amazing. You don’t know how someone could persistently love another when they clearly know the ending will always be painful. He knows you’ll never be his. Still, he chooses to love you. 

Not fair!

Not fair!

Not fair at all!

“Spring Roll?” Jimin stops patting your wet hair. “What’s going inside your head? Still Jungkook?” 

You sigh. “I don’t feel good, Jimin. You know, it feels like I’m doing something wrong. I should move out quickly. I feel like I’m making it worse.” 

“He is not a kid, Lil. I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s doing.” 

“He is acting like nothing happened and that is scary.” 

“Maybe that’s how he copes. Don’t go so hard on him.” 

You turn your head around so fast that your neck cracks. “Gosh I still can’t wrap my head around this new Jimin. Like how come you’re so understanding and not jealous.” 

“I can be jealous when I want to, baby.” He crunches his eyes. Adorable. “But c’mon, I’m going to be a dad. I have to be mature.” 

“You mean act matured?” 

“Yes. Act matured.”

You both fall into a fit of giggles. But it lasts too short when Jimin’s phone starts ringing. 

“Shit, it’s Jin Hyung.” He lets you know as an excuse why he has to take it. You simply nod and turn back around. Jimin doing his best to dry your hair with one hand. You’ve been on apartment inspections today and spilled coffee all over you. Hence the shower. At his place. This won’t be his place soon. You’ll be moving out the moment you find the right place. You sigh and rest your head on his knee. You’re sitting on the floor. He is on the couch. “Yes, Hyung. You can go ahead with it.” Jimin says to Jin over the phone. You keep one ear on the conversation. 

The days have passed too fast. The week Liya gave you had already finished but nothing—abosolutely nothing has happened. Which is weird. Judging by the way Taehyung was panicking the day he came looking for you and accidentally spilled it all to Jungkook, you know the matter wasn’t as simple as Jimin let you know. Yet somehow, everything remains calm. The launch is still happening within the period of two and a half months. You try not to think too hard. Instead you’ve done your best to come up with an idea for a pitch which you have to hand over to Jin next week. You have a few more days to go but still got nothing. You’re fucked up. Maybe you should just give up. 

“No, Hyung. We have no time for that. Ask Hobi Hyung to go through with the premier.” Jimin’s tone gets a pitch higher. Your ears perk up. You’ve never heard him talking sternly to his friends. Argue? Yes. Yelling? Sometimes yes. But he’d never used his CEO voice on them. Well, you haven’t heard him use that voice ever. “I don’t care Hyung. We’re going through this.” Jimin’s hand pauses patting your hair dry. He sounds frustrated. “And what do you mean we still have no solid concept for visuals?” This time you freeze. Are they talking about the visuals you should be working on right now? “I need to see em next week. No–nope, that’s it. We’re doing this according to the plan.” 

Wow! You turn your head slightly to witness the frown between his brows. You’ve seen him work but not bossing around. Not this way at least. Not when he’s actually talking about work. And…isn’t it hot? Your teeth sink into your bottom lip unconsciously. It is hot. 

“Get it done, Hyung.” 

Damn. Fuck he is good at his job. You feel a tiny tingle spread across your body. 

“And make sure you organize that meeting.” 

Okay, fuck! You would let him fuck you for hours without no mercy. 

Holy hell, what’s wrong with you!

Maybe nothing. You’re just a pregnant woman who finds everything about your man attractive. Maybe that is completely normal. And maybe you should do something about it. A smirk cracks on your face as you slowly turn around. Going on to your knees between his legs. Jimin’s attention falls back on you. Just curious. Not suspecting. 

“Put on Taehyung for me.” He asks Jin as he raises a brow at you, questioning. You smile. Evil. Shake your head. “Tae—fuck!” Whatever he was going to say to Taehyung turns into an ugly curse when you lower your face to his crotch. Shamelessly. Your smirk widens when you hear Taehyung’s muffled voice from the other side of the call. You can’t hear what he says but he sure doesn’t sound happy. Jimin uses his free hand to pull your head up with your wet hair locks. “No, not you Tae. I just-just stubbed my toe.” He lies to his best friend and gives you a look. In warning. You huff and make your way to untangle your hair from his grip. You give him an annoyed look before going back to rub your face in his crotch,  a shiver runs through your body at how fast you feel him getting hard. “Yes.” Jimin says to Taehyung, his hand coming back to your hair. You keep rubbing your face on his hardened member, over his black sacks. 

“Ye-yes, Tae..You can.” He stutters. You raise your head a little bit to see his brows furrowed, eyes boring holes on your skull and mouth a little agape. You’re getting to him so well. Can’t blame you for wanting to do more. You keep your eyes on him as you start peppering kisses on his now hardened member, straining against the pants. “N-No…course not. Make sure you fi-fix that.” With a stutter he still manages to talk rationally. Well, you can’t have that now, can you? Determined to have him completely ruined, you press your face again into his crotch. “Fucking hell…” It works. Jimin curses softly under his breath. But of course Taehyung hears that too. This time you hear his response as Jimin pulls away the phone from his ear and brings it into his lap. 

“What the hell are you doing, dude? Stubbed your toe again?” 

You hide a smirk, raising your brow at Jimin as he stares at you in utter bewilderment. You sign at him to get back to his call. He puts it on the speaker

“No… spilled my coffee." Jimin lies through his teeth again. You go back to continue your work. Kisses. Rubs. Kisses. Rubs. Until you grow tired of it and decide it’s time to do more. You don’t wait for any permission as you start to unbutton his slacks. A fire running down your every nerve and making you bold as a devil. 

“Really?” Taehyung questions. Before Jimin can answer though Jin butts in. 

“I swear to god, if you’re having sex while on call with us Jimin—”

“You should turn on the camera and—” Taehyung cuts off Jin. 

“Oh shut the fuck up!” Jin bellows and you think you hear a smacking sound followed by an annoyed growl from Taehyung. “I’m going to kill you, Park Jimin.” Jin continues his earlier threat. 

“Hell, Hyung no one is having se—” You choose that exact moment where Jimin is trying to defend himself to free his pretty, already hardened cock out of his slacks and wrap your lips tightly around his tip. “Fuck! Sex…” Jimin’s hips buck up, thrusting into your mouth involuntarily. You use his cock in your mouth to muffle the desperate moan that slips out from you. 

“Okay! That’s it. I’m hanging up.” Jin shuffles around. 

You peer at Jimin, shaking your head. A silent request not to finish the call. Where’s the fun if they hang up. You want Jimin at your mercy, which happens very rarely. You want to see him struggle. Want to see him losing his senses. 

“Hyung, hyung…” Jimin jumps in, surprising you. After all, you don’t expect him to follow what you want him to do. It’s just easy. Hang up the call if he wants. You’ll continue this anyway. But he doesn’t. “Lil distracted me. Sorry about that. Where were we?” He falls back into the important business talk they were having. You smile around him. Jin protests for a few more seconds, thoroughly convinced that something fishy is going on. Yet after Jimin almost snaps at him they start to talk about the matter at hand ignoring Taehyung’s pestering. 

Or at least Jin does because every time you avert your eyes at Jimin he’s looking at you. Mouth hanging open. Breathing getting ragged. Teeth sinking on to his plump bottom lip so he wouldn’t make it obvious to his friends. One of his hands has come to tangle on your hair. He doesn’t push you, nor does he stop you. Just let you do whatever you want. So you do that. Swirling your tongue around his tip, taking him deep down your throat and keeping him warm and nice. Sucking him off like your life depends on it. Playing with his balls. Even pulling him out just so you can show him how soaked he is with your saliva. How he has ruined your face. Tears running down and spit pooling on your chin and trickling down. Just to put him back in your mouth after giving him hundred kitty licks all across his throbbing cock. You’re sure you can go forever like this. Not even the pain in your knees is registering in your mind. And every time Jimin has to answer a question or give his opinion you get this insane urge to do even better. 

“Half of the media are gonna be there because of your scandal, not because of the launch.” Jin mindlessly expresses as Jimin’s grip on your hair tightens as you start sucking on his tip. His head falls back on the back rest. He grits his teeth. “Jimin?” Jin suddenly yells, making you jump on your spot and Jimin sits straight back up. 

“What?” He bellows. Completely disoriented. 

“This is really suspicious.” Taehyng butts in again. “Very unlike the Park Jimin I know. I mean the CEO Park Jimin. The Park Jimin I knew back on college however—” 

“Shut up Tae! I was listening.” Jimin snaps. 

“Okay, what did I tell you just now?” Jin rustles some papers on the other side of the call, making it annoyingly loud. 

“That people are going to be there because of my scandal.” Jimin’s eyes fall back on you. You haven’t pulled him out of your mouth yet. And he’s still hard as a steel. He gives you a look that’s clearly asking or begging you to keep going. So, you do. This time harder. Sucking him into your mouth. Jimin bucks his hips up, hissing slightly. “Which is good, Hyung. Sometimes, negative publicity can bring money too.” He manages to say to Jin at the same time. You stop sucking him momentarily. Hurt. Disappointed. You thought you had him completely at your mercy. Thought he was losing his mind inside your mouth. But he was listening to Jin? And he can think coherently?

Now, you absolutely can’t have that. You’ll have to change it. Change is exactly what you do. You fall back to sucking him. Into a familiar rhythm. Reading every expression of his like a book. Even a tiny twitch of his hips and a gentle tug on your hair. You know him. Know when is the exact time you got him to the verge of eruption. So, you work hard to take him there. Slurpring on his twitching cock. Feeling him starting to lose control. Then, just as he’s about to shoot that load in your throat, you pull out. 

Completely. Just a strand of saliva connecting your lips to his cock. Jimin’s entire body goes rigid for a second. Then he closes his eyes in pure agony. The hand he kept on your hair immediately goes to warp around his cock. Yet he doesn’t jerk him off, just squeeze himself  before opening his eyes, glancing at you. Eyes which are glassy. Beautiful. Looks like sin. Your Park Jimin. 

You raise a cocky brow at him before standing up. He stares at you in pure bewilderment. Jin and Taehyung are still mindlessly talking about hundred different ways how launch is going to get fucked up. Jimin isn’t listening to any of that anymore. Gaping at you like a kid who just got his favourite toy snatched away from him. You smirk. Take a step back. Then another. And another. Until the back of your knees meet the arm chair across the couch. That’s when you stop and implement your next plan. You grab the hem of your T-shirt, which is originally his but you’ve claimed it as yours. You take the advantage of having nothing underneath the piece of cotton and just pull it over your head, revealing your naked body. Tiny baby bump and all. 

It should be funny how his eyes darken and breath hitches even though he’s seen you naked countless times by now. Even in non sexual contexts. Yet it happens. Park Jimin almost gets to his feet, as if he just got bewitched. Lost all damn control and forgot his surroundings. Like an animal driven by instincts. The good thing though, you are the one who bewitched him. You’re the one who casted the spell so you know how to control it. You’re the one who holds the leash of that animal. So, just a look from you stops him from moving. He sits still. Eyes burning holes on your naked figure as you sit back on the arm chair. 

“We need to make sure that they…” 

Jin’s voice flows monotonously around the living room, not reaching either of you. Just cutting through the air that’s filled with anticipation. You keep your eyes on Jimin as you sit comfortably and slowly start to spread your legs. Each one thrown over the arm rest. Jimin closes his eyes slightly before reopening them so hastily as if he can’t bear to miss a second of this moment. With a slight tug in a corner of your mouth, you dip your hand between your legs. From there you waste no more time as you start to swirl your fingers over your clit. Moving them over your slit, spreading the wetness all over. Drawing figure eights and doing your utmost best to keep any noises at bay. Your eyes are still on Jimin. Never leaving his fiery gaze. He has started to pump himself. Almost as if he’s doing it even without his own knowledge. As if he doesn’t know what he’s doing. 

Great! Just what you wanted. So, you take it up a step more. You sneak your middle finger inside your dripping entrance. Gasping. And Jimin breaks down. His pretense forgotten.  

“Fucking hell!” He grabs his phone. “I’ll call you later guys.” Hangs up the call. Cutting down Taehyung who was probably saying something important. Throws away the phone. The fire in his eyes has reached to a level that it has made his eyes pitch black. The needy look on his face turned into a feverish level. Now he truly looks like an animal. Yet instead of an obedient one, this one might lash upon you anytime. You know you pushed a button too far. So the leash you held drops from your hands. He picks it up. “Well, why did you stop?” Jimin raises a brow, making you realize that you have, indeed, stopped whatever you’ve been doing. The finger you pushed inside is just resting there. “Keep going, Love. I was enjoying the show.” Jimin returns to pumping his cock again. You do the same. Pumping your finger inside you. Legs still spread wide, giving him a perfect view of your dripping pussy. 

“Make it two fingers.” Jimin orders, squeezing his shaft. “Stretch it for me, Love.” Adds. Oh, you’ve lost control of the situation completely. Silly of you to even think that it’d work. You’re just a puddle under his gaze. It’s with a shudder that you comply with him. You force your index finger inside you together with the middle. “Like that…such a good girl for me, aren’t you, baby?” Jimin picks up his pace. “Wanna cum like this?” Asks as he does. “Watching each other?” 

You moan in answer, not knowing what you want. It’d be hot. Cuming while watching him jerk off to you. But then you want him to do more. Touch. Play. Fuck. Yeah definitely that. Fuck you. You need it. “Wa-want you…” You croak. Such a flip from your earlier behavior. Jimin chuckles. 

“Yeah? How do you want me?” 

“In-inside me.” You pump your fingers faster. Trying to scratch an itch that you can’t reach. 

“Add a third finger.” Jimin barks out, ignoring your request. You just do as he says without any further questions. 

“Please!” Your back arches. Yet even with three fingers still you seem incapable of reaching what you want. 

“You want me inside you?” Jimin slows down the speed he’s playing with his cock. “You need to be more specific than that, baby. What exactly do you need inside you? My fingers? Tongue?” He stops touching his cock. 

“Cock!” You gasp, clenching around your own fingers. Shameless. Embarrassingly so. Yet you’ve stopped caring a long time ago. Jimin’s smirk widens. He gets to his feet slowly. In the grace of the predator reaching its prey. As if scared of the upcoming attack and wanting to keep the beast entertained, you keep moving your fingers inside you relentlessly. Jimin stops once he reaches you. Bends down, placing his hands near your calves on the armrests. 

“Good girl!” Mumbles. Just an inch away from your face. “Using your words.” He brings a hand to cradle your cheek. Then he drops the same hand to your inner thighs. “So good for me.” Keep mumbling. His breath fanning your lips. A silent invitation for you to crush them against him.  Only to be failed when he denies you by titling his head back. “Patience.” Clicks his tongue, eyes momentarily dropping down to see the way three fingers of you keep disappearing inside you. “How do you want my cock, Lil? Here? Want me to just fuck you?” Then asks arrogantly. 

“What do you ha-have– fuck– in your  mind?” You do your best to soothe the undying fire inside you. This time he gifts you with a peck. 

“Hmmm…let’s see…I have an unfulfilled promise I made to you.” He rubs soothing–which are doing exactly opposite of soothing–circles on your inner thigh. You watch him expectantly, brows furrowed. “So, I have an image of feeding you my cum in my mind.” You shiver, almost scratching that itch all by yourself. Just at his words. Almost though. What makes you moan and pull your fingers out before you cum is what leaves his mouth next. “With my mouth.” 

“Holy fuck, Jimin!” You pull your fingers out immediately, not wanting to just cum by yourself. 

“You like that?” Jimin replaces your fingers. Just graze his forefinger over your sensitive clit, making you shiver. Tremble. All you can muster is a croaked cry. “That a yes?” He asks again. “Words, Princess. You know I need words.”

“Ye—yes….” You rest your forehead against him. “God! Fuck yes…” Breathe out. 

“Good!” He exclaims, flicking his finger back and forth on your nub. “Want me to take you here? Or…” A peck to your lips. “Shall we try something new?” 

“New?” You inquire, equally excited and impatient. Honestly, you don’t care. Would be just glad even if he takes you right then. 

“Want me to tie you up?” Jimin pulls away from you, a teasing smirk adorning his lips. Your breath hitches. Excitement and arousal courses through your veins like liquid fire, rendering you speechless and just gasping. You haven’t tried that before. Of course you haven’t, you had a sex life that was drier than Sahara. Jimin was the first one who had awakened the depraved beast inside you. You don’t know if getting tied down is your thing. But you’ll never know unless you don’t try. Judging by the way your empty hole is clenching around nothing and your body is in literal ablaze, you guess the answer would be a loud yes. You’re gonna like it. And you can’t wait. 

“Please…” You hold on to his wrist. Dearly. As if that would help you find your sanity. Jimin’s smirk morphs into a wide grin. Still amused. Still teasing. 

“Good girl! Get up!” 

……………………..

Jimin secures the silk tie around your wrists. One corner around your wrists and the other on the bed post, leaving you in an awkward angle on the bed but you don’t mind that a bit. Too occupied by the hunger inside you. Hunger for him. Hunger that’s insatiable. Jimin works briskly as he finishes the last knot. He gives a tug at the tie making sure that it’s secured tightly and you have no escape. 

“Try moving.” He orders. You follow that without a blink, tugging at the restraints keeping you tied to the bed. You only manage to move your hands just an inch before the silk garment stops you. Jimin hums in satisfaction. “We’ll leave your legs untied huh?” He creates space between your bodies so he could rub your legs, already parted and bent for him. You nod absentmindedly. Whatever he wants, you’ll be happy with that. “Do you want it rough?” He asks again, completely moving away from you and making you mourn the loss of his warmth. He starts stripping. Removing his clothes one by one. You roam your hungry gaze over his chiseled abs, like you’re seeing him naked for the first time. Will he ever stop making you feel amazed? No. He won’t. You’ll always be a little puddle whenever you’re with him. You’ll always look up at him with wonder in your eyes. “Lil?” Jimin calls out, making you snap your eyes to his face from his abs. 

You moan in answer. No longer registering anything he’s saying but burning in and out. The fact that you’re tied up and at his mercy is doing something dangerous to your body. Or maybe it’s just him. You’ve always been crazy around him. Whatever the reason is you’re already impatient, your desire already pooling between your legs like a broken faucet. Jimin stops removing his clothes for a second and eyes you in wonder. “Holy fuck, you’re already cock drunk. I haven’t even done anything yet.” He mumbles in awe. 

Wrong, he’s done a lot of things to you. You cry out in need. “Hurry…please…” The restraints dig at your skin as you try to move your hands. Fail. Oh, this is going to be fun. 

“Yeah?” Jimin steps out of his pants, then boxers, standing in front of you in all his glory. “You’ll get it, Princess. But I want to know if you’d want it rough?” 

“I always love it rough.” You force yourself to forget the throb of your clit and pay attention. 

Jimin chuckles. Climbs up on the bed, settling himself back between your thighs. “What’s our safe word?” Asks instead of acknowledging your comment. Another moan slips through you before you answer him. 

“R-red?” 

“Good girl!” Jimin places his weight on one arm, using the other to align his throbbing cock with your soppy entrance. “And you’ll use it if it gets too much, yeah?” Questions again, his eyes boring into yours as he nudges his length against your hole. You nod furiously, once again all the senses leaving your mind. Anticipation bubbling up inside you like a volcano. All you can focus on is the way he is about to enter you. The little teasing nudges he’s giving you. Making you so impatient that your hips start trying to get more friction by bucking up. In vain of course. Jimin curses slowly. “So fucking needy for me.” He grits. Yet presses his dick inside you a little. 

“Yes! Please… more.. Jimin!” Your back arches even at that tiniest of friction. 

“Dammit! Don’t do that,” Jimin forces more of him inside you. Stretching you. His length dragging across your sensitive walls. “I’ll fucking lose it, Lil. Don’t wanna hurt you.” 

“You’ll–ne–never hurt me anyway.” You stare at his face, hips still involuntarily trying to get more of him. Trying to get him to be buried deeper inside you. Jimin suddenly stops. His hips still. You look at him in alert as he just gapes at you. The dark flurry of lust in his eyes momentarily fading away and leaving a softness that’s nothing but just pure adoration. He smiles softly. 

“Yeah.. never…” He admits softly. Then with a shuddering breath pushes his hips forward, bottoming out inside you fully. A sound torn between a moan and a scream escapes you as your arms tugs at the silk tie harshly. 

“Fuck, Jimin!” You gasp, looking  at his eyes which have gone back to a dark mist of lust. 

“Planing to do just that.” He mostly mumbles to himself before giving you a shallow thrust. “Like that? You want me to fuck you like that?” Asks in a such hoarse voice that your eyes almost roll to the back of your head. 

“Yes, yes, yes…” You whimper mindlessly. “Harder.” 

“Harder? Such a needy slut, baby. Aren’t you? A needy slut for me?” He picks up speed. “Insatiable.” You don’t answer him, getting lost in the pleasure with every thrust. With every graze of his tip over your soft spot. You only moan. Moan and moan. Only a partial word of pleas and begs leaving you as Jimin slowly but surely starts to pound into you. Soon pushing your legs higher up, bending you almost in half. Going to his knees so he could fuck you harder. Deeper. Reaching spots that leave you reeling. Crying. 

“Fuck, no…god…” You babble. Hands already aching to be released. To touch him. Feel him. “Wanna touch you. Wanna touch you! Please, please, please…” You try your best to get them free, only causing the tie to dig deeper into your wrists. 

“Too bad, baby. You’re not supposed to.” Jimin croaks. “You’re supposed to just take it, hm.” He reaches one hand to your face. Cupping your face and squeezing your cheeks. “You’re supposed to be my good slut and take it.” Gives your face a not so gentle shake. “Take it, yeah? Be good. Keep your eyes open. On me.” Commands. Starts driving into you even harder if it’s possible. “And you’re supposed to cum hard on my cock. Will you do that for me? Cum hard for me?” 

Even those words are enough to make you do just that. You clench around him tightly, a coil forming and tightening inside your lower abdomen rapidly. 

“Yes..Fuck, yes. So close.” You buck your hips desperately, not being able to control the damn need inside you. 

“Cum, baby. Cream my cock.” Jimin takes his hand back just to pinch your clit. “Cum like a good slut for me. Go on… fucking hell, you’re so good for me. Cum for me, princess.” Starts rubbing your bundle of nerves in time with his brutal thrusts. “You have no idea how good you feel, Lil. C’mon, need you to soak my cock. Cum!” 

Like that, your body listens to him like always. You go taut for a split second as that coil inside you snaps. Then there comes the violent shudders that get your body trembling like a leaf caught in the wind. Your back arches and leaves the bed like a bow. Your scream gets tangled in your throat making it a silent cry. You lose the sense of reality. White appears behind your eyelids as your body continues to tremble, tremble, and tremble. Jimin drags that tremble out as much as possible. Pounding into you. Then rocking into you. Until you finally drive off that orgasm that leaves you breathless and aching. 

“You good?” He asks as he gently moves in and out of you. You nod. In a complete haze. Jimin smirks. “Want more?” Asks but doesn’t wait for any answers. Even before you can catch your breath from the mind blowing orgasm, he starts to thrust into you harder again. 

“Jimin…fuck…Ji–” You gasp, raising you head to get a look at where he’s meeting your body. The sensitivity makes your thighs jerk. You need a minute. To breathe fully. For your body to recover. He doesn’t give you that. And in your pleasure induced mind, you fail to word that out properly. Even your tongue got tied. “Holy fu–fu…ck, Jimin…can’t…” That’s all that leaves your lips. Your body writhing and wrists aching painfully as you tug at the silk tie still keeping them bound above your head. 

“Yes you can!” Jimin pulls out almost all the way out before slamming back inside you, making you reel and cry out. “You're gonna take me, baby. Gonna take me like the good slut you are.” He does that again. Pulling out slowly then slamming back in. 

“Please!” You sob. 

“Please what?” Jimin does that again. Again. And again. “Words, baby, words. Tell me what you need? Want me to stop?” He starts pounding into you again. With no mercy at all. Your sobs turn into gasps. For a second you think you want him to stop but then soon that fire is building up inside you again. 

You don’t want him to stop. 

Fuck, it’s too much.

You will cum again.

Maybe, he should stop. 

No, no, no. It would be such a shame to stop. 

But you can’t take it. But then…

“Fuck!” You scream yet again as your second orgasm hits you out of nowhere. This one lasts longer than the previous. 

“There you go, baby. Like that…yeah…good girl…such a good girl for me…” Jimin coaxes you. His voice is sickly sweet. It pours over you like molten lava. “You’ll give me one more huh, princess? C’mon!” Jimin spreads your trembling legs wider. You know he would’ve changed your position if it wasn’t for the fact that your hands are tied up. Maybe he’s too greedy. Too greedy to have you any other way. The look on his face is proof enough that you sprawled out beneath him, hands tied, is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “Dammit you’re so gorgeous. Give me one more baby.” 

“No…” You wail. The rigorous movements of your hands turn into a weak struggle. It’s starting to hurt now. Your wrists. Your shoulders. Upper arms. Yet you would give him all the much he needs. You’d cum for him again and again. Give any amount of orgasms he demands if he keeps looking at you like that. Like you’re the only star in a black sky. Like you’re the only flower in a barren land. Like he can’t get enough. You love it when he can’t get enough. When he demands more and more. You need a minute though. Too sensitive to take another vicious orgasm again. Just a minute… 

Jimin groans as he holds on to your thighs, fucking into you with all he has. His eyes snap toward your sloppy cunt, taking his cock despite the sensitivity. “You can, baby… fuck, I want you to.” He squeezes his eyes shut as though looking for strength. His words cause your body to reignite the fire of lust within. You grit your teeth willing yourself to battle the sensitivity. 

It’s not that you have to force yourself, however. Jimin would never do that. You have a safe word after all. He said he wanted you to use it earlier. And you know the moment your lips would curl around the letter ‘r’, he’d stop. Entirely. Not going to happen tonight. In a sick way you love how he’s demanding more. Pushing you more. Further and further. Like he’s curious to know when you’d snap. Maybe you are too. Curious. To know where you’ll draw the line. 

Certainly not here. Not as you begin to raise your hips to meet his thrusts again. Your entire body begins to chase another high. Insatiable. The fire inside you is burning too hot. Seeking more. You’re starting to get tunnel vision at this rate. The room around you fading away into a blurry black as the only thing that remains is him. Park Jimin. Your Park Jimin. And you need more of him. Everything. It’s like in a dream how you wide open your mouth, tongue out. Jimin catches your movement. His eyes go wide for a second before he loses the threads of his control. Finally. No longer being able to pull the strings but becoming a puppet himself. 

“Fucking hell, you’re going to kill me, baby. Fuck, I’m gonna fucking explode.” He bends down, pulling your legs over his shoulders. Takes a minute gaping at your eyes and the open mouth. Then with another growl lets down a trail of spit out of his mouth into yours directly. You moan as you swallow everything down and reopen your mouth to show him that you’ve been a good girl. Jimin whimpers. Doing it again. “Yeah like that… swallow princess. You’re so good to me. So tight… squeeze my cock baby. Like that.” Filthy praises pour out of his lips. He spits on your mouth again and this time forcing that third orgasm through you. 

It’s as if you’ve lost consciousness. A minute of blackening out because when the trembles and the blinding pleasure waves out of your body, and you find the ability to see things, Jimin has changed positions. He’s completely hovering above you now. Hell you’ve even locked him in place with your legs wrapped around his waist. He bores into your eyes the moment you open them. His eyes are glossy. Like he’s drugged. Brows furrowed. Beautiful. Always ethereal. Your fingers itch to caress his cheek. Lips. Tangle in his blonde locks. 

“Jimin…” You whine, as he keeps fucking into you. The wet sounds of him meeting you, echoing inside the room so loudly. 

“Dammit, baby… you’re so pretty.” Jimin says in answer to your whine. He’s being mindful not to crush you under his weight. “You did so good for me, Lil. I’m close. Hold on for me.” 

“Wanna—please…touch you…” You babble.

“Not yet.” Jimin shifts his weight into one arm and uses the other to grab your cheeks. “So close baby. Keep your eyes on me.” His hips snap against you relentlessly. “You’re gorgeous, Love. Fuck, you are.” He’s babbling too. Mindlessly mumbling as his eyes are lost in yours. “I love you, you know. Goddammit I love you so fucking much.” Jimin tilts his face, proceeding to kiss the tears rolling on your cheeks, making you realize that you’re crying. Not new. You’ve cried because of the intense pleasure before though apparently it doesn’t make it any less hot for Jimin. He whimpers, tasting your tears. “Baby.” Another moan teared between a growl.

“I know.” You croak. “I love you more.” 

“Say it again.” 

“I love you so damn much, Jimin.” You wrap your legs tighter around him, wanting him as close as possible. Trying to make up for the fact that you can’t touch him. Despite the three mind blowing orgasms you had, the desperation for him is getting stronger and stronger. You lift your head up so you could hide it in his neck, peppering kisses. Inhaling him. He robs you of that chance when he goes back to stare into your eyes. His eyes sparkle. Hundred different emotions swirling in them. You try to read them. For a second you think you see yearning. Longing. Or maybe is that fear? For what though? So you conclude it’s just affection. Affection that he can’t express enough through his words. 

“You have no idea, Lil. You have no fucking idea.” He mumbles. Just mindless babbling. His rhythm is getting faltered, letting you know that he’s about to lose it. 

“I do.” You moan though you don’t know what he’s referring to. Love? You don’t care anyway. You think you do know. He smiles. Soft. So in fond. 

“Yeah? You do?” Asks but doesn’t wait for another confirmation. Simply focuses on thrusting into you as you fight your sensitivity. “So close, baby. Gonna cum.” 

“Please.” You beg, bucking your hips up to meet his thrusts. Feeling another coil twisting inside your guts with every irregular thrusts. He’s close. So is he making you close again. “Please…shit please.” 

“Yes..fuck! There…baby. I’m almost…the—” Jimin’s words get lost in between his clenched teeth as he finally slams inside you one last time. A warmth spreads across your inside just as another tingle gets hold of your body. You arch your body, pressing your chest more and more into him as Jimin continues to spill inside you. His cock twitching. It’s after what feels like hours when you finally fall back into the bed, limp and spent. Jimin stays on top of you for a few seconds to catch his breathing, being mindful not to crush you before reaching to the knot that holds you tied to the bed post. With one expert tug he loosens the tie. A groan escapes you as you move your hands down feeling as if they’re no longer a part of your body but a foreign weight that you don’t know how to use. 

“You okay?” Jimin withdraws from you to take in your expression and one of his hands starts rubbing your shoulder. You hum in reply. Not being completely lucid yet. “Lil? Baby?” Jimin asks again. You watch the way he furrows in concern. 

“Yes, Park. I’m–” You take a second then giggle. “I”m great.” Creases of worry disappear from his face following your giggle. 

“I can see that now.” Jimin remarks as he goes into his knees again, pulling out of you and spreading your legs wider to feast on the sight of you battered cunt on display. You let out a half hearted protest of embarrassment which he disregards. His still glossy eyes darken again. “Oh, fuck.” He curses softly. Still panting. Still red in the face. “You look fucking gorgeous." He comments so casually and so seriously as if he’s not staring at your most intimate area that you almost shut your legs close. 

“Jimin!” You whine in complaint.

“What?” He raises a brow at you. “You are.” Says and goes back to staring at your pussy. You can feel the wetness seeping out of you. “Squeeze.” He orders. You look at him with wide eyes. He takes one look at your confused face. “Squeeze all the cum out baby, I have to feed you them, don’t I?” The most devious kind of smirk pulls on his lips as he proceeds to lower his face toward your spent core. Your first instincts are to protest and to say that you’ve changed your mind but you’re already too late as Jimin lunges at you without wasting another second. His tongue laps at you once before he wraps his lips around your clit then drags his mouth down and slurps in. Loudly. So loud that the noise travels directly from your ears to your core, reigniting that fire. 

“Fuck, Jimin.” You writhe in your spot as Jimin pulls away from your sensitive pussy, coming to hover your figure once more. His lips sealed shut. Eyes sparkling with mischief. The fire coils inside you once more, making you gasp, involuntarily open your mouth. He steals that opportunity to press his lips into yours. It’s just a peck at first. Almost innocent. Then he parts his lips, pushing his tongue inside your mouth together with the remnants in his mouth. The salty taste of his cum invades your taste buds in an instant, making you moan like bitch in heat. Despite the fact that you just came too many times and he fucked the senses out of you. 

Jimin, however, seems utterly pleased with your reaction as he withdraws and watches you with eyes full of a gleam that you can’t decide whether to be lust or exhaustion. “Good girl!” He praises for the millionth time. “Want more?” Asks. You only manage to nod before he’s back between your legs. Lips curling around your entrance. Slurping. Then coming back to feed you everything. Then going back. You whimper as he almost dips his head back in your still dripping core when a vibration right next to your ear makes him pause.  You turn your head to find his phone, which somehow has found its way to the bed ringing. Taehyung’s name flashing on the screen. 

“It’s Tae.” You let Jimin know. 

“Ignore it.” He clicks his tongue, proceeding to continue his work but the ringing ends and a message pops up. Then another. And another. And more and more. 

“What the fuck,” You curse in annoyance as you grab the phone just as it starts ringing again. “Maybe it’s urgent.” You interrupt Jimin by holding his phone toward him. 

“For fuck’s sake!” Jimin sits back, a scowl adorning his face. Yet he answers the phone, putting it on speaker again. “Busy Tae, I’ll call you—”

“Will you fucking turn on the goddamn news.” Taehyung doesn’t allow Jimin’s words to leave his mouth properly. You sit back slowly. Wearing a similar kind of scowl to Jimin but for entirely different reasons. The worry in Taehyung’s voice is prominent. Something isn’t right. 

“What? Why?” Jimin questions back. This time not so annoyed but worried and intrigued. 

“You’re asking why?” Taehyung barks from the other side of the line. “We’re fucked, Jimin. That’s why. Sent you the link. Check it out.” 

Oh, you don’t like links. You don’t like when someone is talking about a link this worriedly. Jimin quietly opens the message app and locates the said link. He seems worried though calm compared to how Taehyung is obviously losing his shit. You scoot closer to him to peer at his phone screen. Jimin clicks on the hideous looking jumble of words. 

Oh, please don’t be another video of you and Jimin having sex.

You bunch up your fists without realizing it as the link opens into a webpage. 

Kim Group Chairman Accused in Illegal Weapons Investigation

Kim? As in Liya’s father?

“No. Fuck, fuck what? How?” Jimin mumbles as he skims through the article. Then he opens a new tab to search for it himself. Typing frantically the name Kim and Kim group. You gape at it. Lost. Utterly completely lost. Your brain is falling to catch up on what’s happening. 

“My question exactly?” This time it’s Hoseok’s voice that comes through. “I’m guessing it wasn’t you.” Hoseok adds.

“Course not.” Jimin mumbles but this time less frantically. Going through one article after another. Fast forwarding through videos. You watch as the surprise and the confusion on his face ease a little. As if he remembers something. 

“Then who the hell—how—I mean only we knew.” Jin bellows over the line too, almost making you flinch. You don’t understand what’s happening. But for one thing, you know it’s not good. An illegal weapon dealing? Mr. Kim? You don’t think you’ve seen the right thing. 

“What about Joon?” Teahyung’s voice comes through the phone again. And you vaguely hear Hoseok practically snaps at him for even thinking that. You don’t pay attention to the ruckus happening on the other side of the line. You just watch Jimin. You might not know the full disclosure. It feels like reading a book without the first pages. Simply you can’t grasp the full idea of it. Of Mr. Kim getting tangled in an illegal business. Or him going down. Looks like it’s what is happening, though. Considering all the articles Jimin just skimmed through. All the news he just watched. Kim is doomed. That means….

They’re doomed too. 

The new launch is doomed.

R.U.N is doomed. 

With Mr. Kim, Jimin are doomed as well. 

You feel your heart squeeze painfully. It’s as if you’ve been trapped in a fever dream and the reality suddenly crashes in. A shudder—this time from a strange fear, runs through your body at the same time Jimin slowly whispers. “Liya.” He says almost inaudibly. For a second you think no one heard him but there comes Jin’s voice. 

“What did you say?” He inquires with no warmth in his voice. 

“I–um–listen, Hyung, I didn’t think she’d…” Jimin scrambles into his feet, completely disregarding the fact that he’s still butt naked. His voice almost doesn't reach your ears as he starts pacing around. “I just wanted to get her out of Lil’s back, I…” 

What? 

In that half a second the fever dream comes back to you. The rest of the world fades away as you watch Jimin. He becomes the only thing in your world. Not in a good way though. Instead of seeing his ethereal beauty, this time you see the pain. Fear. Guilt. Worry. As if you’ve suddenly been given a super vision to zero on in every little detail. You see the panic in his eyes. See the lines of worry.  See a man who’s about to crumble down. Not your Park Jimin. And did he say he did—whatever he did—to make sure Liya doesn’t threaten you anymore? 

So, that’s why you didn’t hear from her again. Why everything remained calm. This is how he said he’d take care of it? Be prepared? You still don’t know what’s actually happened. Have no idea how you’ve got to this point. But clearly all these things are happening because of you. 

Fuck, you feel nauseous. 

“So you fucking gave her the only bargaining chip we had?” Someone yells through the phone. 

Fuck, you feel like your head is spinning. 

Jimin is trying to talk through his friends' voices. Disappointed, raged, voices full of disbelief. Jimin looks wrecked. You’re certain you can see his hands trembling. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Your Jimin is about to crumble down. All because of you. And the worst part? There’s nothing you could do to help. You’re helpless. You’re only good for causing problems. That’s what you’ve been doing ever since you came into this world. Causing problems to Jimin. Ruining his life. And dragging everyone else with him. There’s not a single soul that’s happy anymore. Jimin. Liya. Jungkook. Taehyung. Jin. Hoseok. Seoyeon. You… Not a single person. You ruined everything. All because you are too greedy. You have been warned multiple times. To let go. Do the right thing. Take that step back and let these people live their lives peacefully. But no. You had to ruin it. You thought the punishment for being too greedy would be you turning into dust. Maybe that’s not the case after all. Maybe, this is a better punishment. 

Seeing Jimin get ruined. In front of your very eyes but not being able to do a damn about it. Maybe this is your real punishment. 

Yes. 

Punishments.

..................................................................................................................................

a/n- Leave a note if you enjoyed this one!

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He’s still in the same clothes you saw him yesterday before you left the campsite. He looks like he went through hell, fought an army of a hundred alone, and then hasn’t eaten anything for ages. He probably has more important—much more important things to get done. Like making sure the vulgar images or videos of himself don’t reach every corner of the world. Like making sure that his business doesn’t get flattened to the ground over one night. Yet here he is. Just one panicked call from Jungkook and Jimin has flown here. 

You had only one hour to get your shit together and calm down before he arrived. Calmed down so you wouldn’t spook the fuck out of Jimin. He has enough problems to deal with. Yet it’s only working to an extent. Because you’re scared. Scared to death.

You only have seventy two hours in one world. And you’re so close to exceeding that. It’s certainly more than two days now. Since you went camping and came back. You only have one night left. If you don’t shift back into your world after tonight, then that means you’re doomed. Fully. Maybe it has already started. Last time when you stayed more than forty eight hours in this world, Key almost forgot you. 

Oh fuck! You don’t want to think about it.

But the thoughts are plaguing your mind. Would Key worry about you? She’s the only person who knows the truth. Would your family look for you? No, they won’t. You’ll be forgotten before they even know that you’ve gone missing. The world you lived for almost all of your life will continue to spin and live on. You’ll be forgotten. The next time you see the people you loved, they’ll look at you as if they’ve never seen you before.

Even the prospect alone makes your knees buckle. That paired with the exhaustion you feel, and the non-stop pain in your body, is enough to make you cry like a weeping widow. But you can’t. You can’t make Jimin worry. Besides, you still have time. You’ll figure this out. Jimin will figure it out. 

You glance at Jungkook, who’s standing next to you. Pale. As if he’s seen a ghost. 

Well, it was like he saw a ghost. You had scared the poor guy half to death. If it wasn’t such a scary and critical situation, you’d have made fun of him. Unfortunately, this isn’t the time. Not when you're somewhere you shouldn’t be. 

“She did.” Jungkook answers on your behalf. It’s not that you want him to do that. You simply don’t know how to process things. 

“What?” Jimin furrows even deeper. “What do you mean?” He questions Jungkook. Seems a bit annoyed. 

Jungkook tongues the inside of his cheek as if he’d rather be doing anything but having this conversation with Jimin. “She…” He inhales deeply. “Slept.” Rephrases his earlier words. Assesses Jimin like he’s the dumbest person Jungkook has ever seen. “Like a baby.” Adds. 

If the words don’t have such a scary meaning behind them, you’re certain Jimin would’ve picked up a fight with Jungkook right there. Yet he visibly forces to pay his valuable attention to you. He’s still processing. Still trying to understand what’s happening.

“No, but how? I mean why?…” 

“We all know why, Mr. Park.” Jungkook answers before you can, again. A tiniest of scoffs  leaves him before he turns around and disappears inside Kim's restaurant. 

It was you who had wanted to meet Jimin outside the restaurant. Well sue you for panicking like a headless chicken. You didn’t really know what else to do but see Jimin at the moment . Now, it’s not like that Jungkook doesn’t comfort you. He does. Immensely so. And he did when he finally calmed down from his jumpscare. He had stood beside you holding your hair despite all your protests while you threw up. He had hugged you so tight and mumbled that it was okay like it was a mantra. He had made sure that you breathed and didn’t die while trying to figure out what’s going on.

Still, seeing Jimin is quite not the same. No. Jungkook is your home but Jimin is your heartbeat. It’s an entirely different feeling. A strange kind of comfort. It’s amazing how you feel safe, as if all your problems vanished into thin air when you just see him. So, of course, you had wanted to see Jimin. Just to be in his arms. In reality, you know Jimin can’t solve anything. He’s just a mere human who’s as lost as you are. Yet something deep inside you is blindly believing that he’s going to solve it. 

Jimin glares at Jungkook’s back for a minute. You think Jungkook is being completely unfair right now. It’s not Jimin’s fault. None of these are. Apparently, Jungkook is in such a mood he’d blame Jimin for global warming, overpopulation, civil wars and everything else without reasoning. And the best you can do would be leave him be. To sulk. And stress. Over you. 

“Don’t mind him. I’m feeling fine now.” You sigh. Try to hide the discomfort you’re feeling. Don’t want to make Jimin worried. He has enough problems going on. 

Jimin shakes his head. “Ugh fuck!” He steps away from you. You miss his warmth right away. “But he’s right, Lil.” He rakes a hand through his blonde locks. “If-if you’ve slept and if you still haven't gone back to your world, there could be only one reason. There’s only one thing that changed." He tips his head back, glancing at the blue sky. 

Your heart squeezes at the sight of him so worried. Maybe you shouldn’t have called him. Maybe you should’ve let him figure out the bigger problems first. 

“We don’t know that yet.” You step closer to him. Struggling to smile through your exhaustion. You touch his arm gently. “Maybe I didn’t sleep well or this can be a…mmm…” You search for the right word. “Like a temporary glitch. Maybe I’ll go back the next time I sleep.” You hope you sound convincing. It’s hard to do so when you’re not convinced for yourself. Something is not right. You can feel it.

Jimin heaves a heavy sigh, though. A nod follows that. You know you didn’t convince him. He just wants to believe it that way. 

“Yeah?” He sneaks his fingers inside your hair this time. Starts scratching your head gently. You lean onto his touch greedily. You had been mad with him when you left the campsite yesterday. But the newest problems have made you forget about that. “Yes.” Jimin mutters more to himself than to you. “All you have to do is sleep again. You’ll be fine.” He kisses your forehead. You don’t know who he’s trying to console. You or himself? “Of course you’ll be fine.” Adds.

You hum gently in answer. Force yourself to smile. “I already feel way better. Nothing to worry—”

“Bullshit!” 

You jump at the sudden sound of Jungkook’s voice. He has appeared from nowhere again.

“She’s sick.” He says to Jimin. “She fucking threw up again. And she refuses to eat. She. Is. Not. Fucking. Okay!”

You sigh in annoyance. “Can you stop speaking about me like I’m not here please.” Turn to the man in question. Jungkook just shrugs. You open your mouth to ask him to go brood elsewhere when a new voice interrupts you. 

“God, are you okay?” You all turn your heads toward Yuna who gets out of Namjoon’s car. She makes a beeline toward you. “Are you feeling good, now?” Lines of worry adorn her face gently. You nod. Just once. Have no strength to do something more than that. 

“But why are you still here? Aren’t you supposed to go back?” This time it’s Namjoon who questions, who follows his girlfriend towards you. You frown in confusion. Glance at Jimin. Even though all your friends witnessed what happened to you—which is embarrassing, no one had time to explain to them what was really happening. 

Jimin pinches the bridge of his nose. “Someone had to explain to them.” Answers your silent question.

“You used five words to explain shit, Jimin. I need a better explanation.” Yuna huffs. Then adds hurriedly. “After you solve your problems, of course.” 

You think it’s funny. How you’ve been hiding this secret for so long but now everyone is a part of it. No more secrets. It’s relaxing. Comforting even. Like a heavy weight on your shoulders has eased. 

Only if you can be happy about it though. They know. And things solved. But at what cost? 

“You need to sleep, baby.” Jimin disregards Yuna’s distaste at his lack of an explanation as he turns to you. 

“I don’t think I can.” You mumble. You don’t feel sleepy. Exhausted? Yes. Sleepy? No.

“But you have to try.” 

“She’s so fucking stubborn. Like a fucking goat.” Jungkook groans. Making you glare at him but surprisingly making a faint smile appear on Jimin’s lips. 

“Now, you see it.” He mutters, earning a glare to himself as well. 

“You’re sleeping, Noona, or I’ll fucking knock you out.” Jungkook returns your glare ten times harder. If you weren’t so exhausted you would’ve gasped. Yet the only thing you can manage is a look at Jimin. In disbelief. Silently asking for help. What you get is a shrug. 

“Can’t help you there, baby. You need to sleep.”

You sigh heavily, knowing that you won’t win this argument. Yuna gives you a smile torn between pity and worry before she leaves you alone. Drags her boyfriend with her. Then Jungkook as well. 

“You need to sleep, baby. You look so tired.” Jimin places a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Okay.” You give up. Maybe you should just listen to him. Maybe that’ll work. You’ll be back in your apartment the next time you open your eyes. Everything will be fine once again. You want to believe that desperately. The nagging feeling inside you, though, isn’t allowing you to be at ease. Still, falling asleep will put Jimin at ease. He’d be able to untangle this mess without having to worry about you so much. So you agree. But there are things you need to know before you go back again—if that happens. “What happened with the-uh… going public and all that? You still haven't confirmed anything, have you?” 

Jimin’s face softens. His eyes gleaming with adoration.

“Not yet.” He says softly. Plays with your hair. 

Good. Maybe this happened for a reason. Maybe you didn’t go back right away so you can convince Jimin to do the right thing. 

“Jimin…” You start. Only to get disrupted .

“No, Lil. We talked about this. I’m not changing my mind.” 

Oh how stubborn he can be? And he calls you a stubborn goat? You sweep your eyes over his face. He looks dead serious. Decision already made. But you still have to do something. Can’t let everything get ruined like that. 

“Well, if you don’t even try…” You look into his brown eyes. “I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Because it’s all my fault.”

“Lil…”

You don’t let him keep talking. You step away from his hold. Reluctantly. 

“You’re right. I’m exhausted. I should sleep.” 

……………………..

Jimin has always been a great multitasker. He’s been a good decision maker. He has known what to prioritize and how to navigate through hard times. To solve problems. That’s how he managed to build a business. Even though he had help with finances, he made it possible because he was capable. Like you said. Still, ever since yesterday, when he found you weeping with pain to this very moment, he’s not been doing a great job at any of the above. 

There are a million things he should do. Of course, he’s yet again prioritized what matters most. You. You are his priority. Prioritising you won’t mean anything if all he does is sit inside a student’s apartment and just worry to death, however. He should make sure you’re safe. There’s only one way to do it. He hates Jungkook’s attitude and the fact that the kid is right. But Jungkook is right. And Jimin knows it. There’s only one thing that’s causing—whatever magical force kept you shifting between two worlds—to act up. 

Still, he can’t bring himself to do anything else. No. He can’t concentrate on anything else. He needs to be close to you. Has to know that you’re doing fine. At least temporarily. He'd be able to do what he has to do once he makes sure that you’ve gone back to your world. 

Besides, he had decided to give it one last try. Before he loses everything he ever worked hard for. Because he owes his friends at least that much. He owes his company that much. Owes his people. And you. 

I’ll never be able to forgive myself.

You’ve said. 

It’s not your fault. Not at all. But he knows you. You’ll carry the guilt to your tombstone. He has to try. One more time. Salvage what he can. Even a little. 

“What if it doesn’t work?” The young man who sits across from Jimin speaks suddenly. Jimin snaps his head in his direction. 

“Which part are you talking about?” Jimin raises a brow. Annoyed. As a businessman he knows what risk assessment means. He needs to be prepared. Needs to come up with backup plans. Jungkook is, yet again, making a valid point. Still, Jimin doesn’t care about the logic now. No. What he needs right now is a miracle. All the positivity. Hence, his irritation at Jungkook’s question, though he knows the younger one doesn't mean any harm. Jungkook loves you. There’s no doubt. It’s obvious. Except for Jimin, Jungkook would be the other person to let himself bleed to make sure you’re safe. 

“Every part of your plan. What if you can’t find anything to hold against Kim and turn this in your favor?” Jungkook shifts in his seat. 

“I’m still going to tell them that it was Lil who was in the video.” 

“Your company?”

“Will be damned. And I don’t care.”

Jungkook chuckles. Jimin narrows his eyes on him.

“Bullshit! You care a lot! But whatever you say, Park. Let’s say you truly don’t care and you let your business be damned, but what if it still doesn’t work. What if she's still in pain?” 

It takes everything in Jimin not to snap. Start a fight. 

“That’s a lot of positivity there.” Instead of cursing Jimin grumbles slowly.

“What are you going to do, Jimin? You’re going to find a way? How long would it take? What if she doesn’t—”

“For fuck’s sake, Jungkook, what’s your problem?” In the end Jungkook manages to make Jimin snap. 

“I want her fucking safe. That’s my problem.” 

“Then fucking do something about it!” Jimin yells aloud before he catches himself. There’s no point in fighting with Jungkook. Especially when he knows Jungkook is worried to death as well. “It’s going to work.” So he lowers his voice. Eyes dart toward Jungkook’s bedroom door where you’re currently sleeping. “It. Is. Going. To. Work.” Repeats himself. More steadily as he gets to his feet. “If not I’ll find a way.” He doesn’t know how. Would rather not think about that now. He doesn’t look at Jungook again as he makes it toward the only bedroom in the apartment.

“Will you let her be?” After a long silence, Jungkook speaks up behind him. Jimin stops halfway in his track. “You’re annoying.” Jungkook adds. 

It’s okay. Jimin can’t kill someone at this point. He has one too many problems to be able to deal with a dead man. 

So he opts to flip Jungkook off before making it to the door. Ignores the young man behind him completely. Opens the bedroom door a crack. This is the third time he’s checking on you. The previous two times, you’ve been still awake and actually had made Jimin smile when you rolled your eyes exasperatedly. 

Fuck, he hates that Jungkook is right. Why is he always right?  Jimin is being annoying. But can they blame him? He’s worried. So, so worried. He just wants to know. 

He prays to every god out there that you’d be gone by now. Funny. He used to pray the other way around. He prayed so hard from every power in the universe that you’d come to him every other day if not every day. He wished so bad that there would be a time where you’d be waking up next to him. That you’d stay beside him forever. Be his. 

But nothing would matter than your safety though. 

Man, isn’t he in love?

Jimin pokes his head inside first. All his prayers gets  shattered immediately once he does. Because there you are. Wrapped in silk sheets. Looking so small even in Jungkook’s double bed. Fast asleep. Breathing so calm. 

Only if Jimin can be happy, though. Happy that you’re here and safe. 

He slips inside the room quietly. Like a mouse. Maybe it’ll happen a bit later. After all these times, no one has any idea about how and when you travel between the two worlds. There are multiple occasions where Jimin has tried his best to see how it happens. Never succeeded. Apparently, Jungkook has done the same. Yet every time you shift, it’s when either they are asleep or not around. Maybe this will work when Jimin finally lets you be. 

He will. After taking one look at you. He does that. Maybe a kiss won’t hurt. He can kiss you slowly and gently—

The door to the room bangs open suddenly, sending Jimin’s nerves on fire. He turns around, biting back the curses to find his best friend emerges through the door. Jimin glares at Taehyung before checking on you. You don’t wake up. Just stir in your sleep. Mumble something incoherent. Then fall asleep again.

Jimin sighs in relief. Pays his attention back to Taehyung. Taehyung mouths an apology first. Walks in. 

“Sorry but we need you.” Whispers. There’s an urgency to his voice but he looks happy. 

Oh!

Something happened. 

Judging by Taehyung’s actions, it’s finally something in their favor. 

…………………………..

“Fuck this is so fucked up, man.” Hoseok curses. “I was expecting financial dirt. Not fucking murder.” 

Murder. Such a weighted word. Jimin feels like his head is spinning so fast that he can’t comprehend anything. 

“Not murder exactly, is it?” The meek voice which raises that question apparently belongs to J. Jimin has no idea what on earth she’s doing here. Somewhere during his check up on you and Taehyung’s arrival, she had come with food. Namjoon’s mother’s orders. Someone had let her know that you’re sick. Well, it’s good that people think about you. Care about you. Even J herself who has a great distaste about you has come. But she should’ve left hours ago.

This is a private meeting. These things—they’re discussing, shouldn’t fall into outsiders’ ears. Then what is he doing here? When he has his own company? He can have this meeting or whatever they’re doing here, anywhere else but inside a college student’s apartment kitchen. Jimin is so wrecked.

“Then what? Does it look like charity?” Taehyung snaps. J throws a glare at him. 

“That’s not what I meant,” She gulps. “He-I mean—”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, J! This is fucking murder. He was funding—no—not funding but selling weapons, to fucking terrorists for years.” Taehyung gets to his feet. He looks pissed. Rare. But Jimin gets to witness that more and more these days. “And what do you think they’ve been doing with the weapons? Gardening?” 

J has turned pale. They shouldn’t have had this conversation here. Not in front of J. Or Jungkook. The guy, for his credit, however, looks calm. Like he doesn’t hear a secret that could possibly end all of their lives. 

This case is far worse than Jimin expected. Kim Namjoon is a genius. Jimin has no idea how he got his hands on the evidence. For now it’s some leaked documents. Nothing solid but just a beginning. An accident. That’s how Namjoon cracked it. 

Maybe, just maybe, the universe has decided to help Jimin this once. After everything went so badly one after another, something fell into place out of nowhere.

It’s pure luck that Namjoon happened to be digging up an illegal weapon dealing case. And it must be a favor from God that he already had his suspicions of Kim being a part of it. From there, it hadn’t taken him a lot to get something to prove it on his hands. Just loads of luck and a genius mind was all it took for him. 

Documents just wouldn’t be enough, though. They need more proof. Solid proof. Proof that no one can deny or cover up. Because this is no longer just about Liya’s father. One can’t transport illegal weapons through borders without help. Help of significant figures of the country. Powerful enough people who can aid him and then hide his tracks. If this gets out, it won’t be just Kim who’ll be in danger. 

This is such a perfect opportunity. The best one. Yet they would need more proof. 

“O-okay,” J finds her voice again. “Then you’d have to bring him to justice, right? You’d have to file a complaint and-and, what are you guys gonna do with this?” Her wide eyes sweep across every person in the room except Jungkook.

Oh, how naive she is.

Only if this is that simple. Even with more solid proof, it’d be hell to make sure Kim receives a proper punishment. He’d suffer, yes. Public backlash and dropped revenue. No future and his life would be one living agony. But it won’t be easy. Then, among everything, there’s one reason why they can’t do it. 

If Kim goes down, they go down with him. They can’t afford to lose him. Not right now. Maybe after the launch. Maybe after they make enough revenue and become powerful. More than Kim is. Until then they need him. 

At their utter silence, J gasps. “Fuck! Please tell me you’re not going to hide this from the world and just use it to your advantage.” 

Well, Jimin knows very well what he’s doing. Knows how fucked up it is to take this path. Yet when someone else says it aloud, it makes him cringe with guilt. What else can he do, though? It’s just this or nothing. Choices. Choose this or nothing. Choose you or his business. How unfair? Sue him for trying to save what’s worth. 

Nobody says anything in answer to J. Letting the obvious answer hang in the air. J stumbles a step back in disbelief. “Oh, you guys are fucking sick.” Her eyes land on her lover. “Tell me you’re against this, Jin. You are, right? You won’t let them be so fucking selfish, right?” 

“J…” Jin sighs heavily. Almost gets to his feet to reach J when she stops him. His answer is clear. 

“Fuck you!” J bellows. 

“J, listen you don’t—” Jin tries again in vain to explain.

“Oh, I get it perfectly well. You people are so fucking sick.” She points a finger at Jimin. His throat tightens. “It’s all your fault. This is all because of you. You cheated on your girlfriend first and then now you’re going to blackmail her father so you can keep your mistress and the company both. And you’re turning a blind eye to something wrong. You’re a fucking prick.” With that she turns on her heels. Leaves. Like a gust of wind. 

Her words, however, remain in the tight space. Suffocating Jimin. Because every and each word she had said was true. He is a fucking prick. But… but he has to do it. Try. 

Not fair. 

But he has to anyway.

“I would go after her if I was you.” He forces himself to swallow down the guilt. Pain. As he speaks to the now frustrated Jin. Jin takes a minute. Nods. Nearly does that when Jungkook steps in. 

“You should stay.” He murmurs hurriedly, earning confused glances. “Take care of this.” Jungkook generally gestures at the area. “She is my best friend. I know how to knock sense into her.” Despite his words, he doesn’t sound very sure about that either. Jin nearly shakes his head in disagreement when Namjoon catches his arm. 

“Just let Kookie do it. She doesn’t listen, you know that.” He pats Jin’s arm. Jin hesitates for a second then nods. Jungkook immediately disappears after J. 

Well, it’s not Jimin’s place to poke his nose in his friends’ relationships. He isn’t qualified to do it anyway. All he can do is wish that Jin never will be in a position like him. Having to choose between two things he loves. Pray that J would understand. That Jin won’t suffer. All because of him. He created this mess. 

For another long second nobody says anything. Hoseok is the one who takes the conversation back on track. 

“Okay, so… what are we gonna do?” He chooses his words carefully. Probably not wanting to pressure Jimin. Well, Jimin is already too deep in this shit. He has no other way around but to climb out of this hell hole. Slowly. Would be fucking painful. Still this is the only way. He’d be the bad guy. As long as you stay by his side, he'll be happy to be so. 

He takes a deep breath. “We’re going to blackmail.” Says. Nobody looks surprised. 

“Would this be enough though?” Namjoon taps the documents on the table. They are a bunch of shipping manifests. Exported under the name of several subsidiaries of the Kim conglomerate. The goods vary from luxury goods to farming equipment. But the red flags are the destinations. Countries with active terrorism and civil wars. Not enough. But this’ll have to do. 

“No.” So, Jimin answers truthfully. Again, no one is surprised.

“Then what’s the plan?” Jin scratches his chin. Looks like a predator. 

“We have the leverage of uncertainty, don’t we?” Jimin raises his brow. 

“You mean, we’re going to act like we have more?” Hoseok scowls at the papers on the table.

“Yes.” Jimin states clearly and loudly. “Until of course, we find more. Find actual solid evidence that’d be enough to put him behind bars. Evidence he can’t hide or deny.” Adds. Glances at Namjoon. He understands Jimin right away. 

“Want me to keep digging?” 

“Yes.”

“Under what arrangement?” 

Here they go. Maybe this’ll make Jimin even more of a pathetic asshole. Even more prick. Now J is absolutely correct. Jimin is about to become a part of this crime. They all are. By just knowing it and doing nothing. And then blackmailing Kim into helping them under the promise of keeping things under wraps, and doing the opposite afterwards? That’s so fucked up, that Jimin won’t be able to look at himself. 

But in the end, they are still choices. Not the best ones but he’d still do it. Because he has to. 

“You’ll publish that article with undeniable evidence. You’ll do the right thing and put a stop to it.” Jimin gets to his feet. Namjoon nods. There’s no need to shake hands to seal their deal. It’s a deal. The rest of his friends stay silent except Jin. 

“If you were gonna do that, you should've told J sooner.” He gives Jimin a look.

“No,” Jimin shakes his head. “No one should know. It’s too fucking risky. They—J and Kook already know too much. Enough to put their lives in danger. And we can’t have anyone knowing that we’re bluffing. Can't let Kim know that we won’t stick to our promise.” Jimin looks Jin dead in the eye. “Keep it shut, Hyung. I know it’s hard but for everyone’s sake, just don’t let her know.” He grabs the papers on the table. “Now if you excuse me, I have a plan to execute.” 

He walks over toward the door. He’s a prick through and through. If there was at least a part of him that stayed honest, good, and pure, this’ll make that part disappear as well. 

Jimin stops briefly before Jungkook’s bedroom door. Behind that door is you. He’ll do the worst for you. He turns around to glance behind where he just came from. Where his friends are. He is doing this for them. For you. If it’s going to make him a monster then so be it. He’ll gladly become that monster. For you. He’ll become the worst of himself over and over again. To make sure you’re safe and in no pain. To make sure you’re his. That you keep staying his. 

Maybe love isn’t supposed to be this. Maybe to the world love is being selfless and pure. But for Jimin, love is selfish. Love is greed. Love is sacrificing everything else, including himself. For him, love is just you.

……………………….

Sixty two hours. 

You’ve been in Jimin’s world for that long. Your little nap had not worked. And you’re not even surprised. Somewhere deep down inside you, you had known that a simple nap won't solve the problem like that. Yet it hasn't stopped you from hoping. Expecting. That it would miraculously work. 

It didn’t. 

That’s how you find yourself curled up on Jungkook's couch. Still in pain. It’s like the pain has become a part of you. Reverberating through your veins. You fear that it might never leave you. You still feel nauseous. The only cup of coffee you requested from Jungkoo earlier, is threatening violently to leave your body. It’s a struggle to keep it down. You feel so tired. So, so tired. You’re doing your best not to think about the ticking clock. About what might be happening in your world right now. 

It won’t do any good to worry about that anyway. All you can do is hope for the best. That you would be able to go back before it’s too late. 

Then to add more to your misery, three things had happened after you woke up from your nap. First, Jimin had already left, making you feel like a kid who awakened to find their mother not in sight. Second, Jungkook had informed you that they were—Jimin mainly— going to do it. Let the world know that he cheated on Liya with you. Third, Jungkook, again had let you know that Jimin and the boys had finally found something to hold against Liya’s father, which he refused to tell you. Something about it being a secret for your own good— bullshit. 

Now, the anticipation and the anxiety of uncertainty, not knowing what’s happening is draining the energy out from you even more. 

“Why’s nothing there yet?” You mumble more to yourself, refreshing the news website you’ve been looking at for more than an hour. Yet you found nothing new. Anything and everything related to the name Park Jimin is regarding the events of the previous night. Maybe you’re being stupid. All three of you—surprisingly, J had stayed with you and Jungkook despite her great distaste toward you, and is currently doing the same thing as you and Jungkook. Scrolling through her social media and news and gossip sites. Maybe you’re looking in the wrong place. Being the kids of the internet. Stupid. 

“Probably, they haven’t done anything yet.” J sighs. Gives up. Places her phone gently on the coffee table. Jungkook copies her actions. But instead of placing his phone away gently, he throws it away somewhere carelessly. 

“Or maybe they did and no one is giving a fuck. Maybe,” He turns to you. “Mr. Park isn't that much of a big deal as you think.” Gives you a wicked smile. You pout involuntarily. 

“I never said he’s a big deal,” You muster the energy to speak. Hell, speaking feels like a battle. “He is just… him… just Jimin.” 

And a CEO. A man who built an empire for himself with nothing. A man who works hard. A man who’s operating a business that large, like it's as simple as sleeping. A man who deserves the world, even though he doesn’t believe so. A man capable of many things. A man with a beautiful heart. The most beautiful human creature you’ve ever seen. Most importantly the man you’re blindly in love with. He is Park Jimin. Your Park Jimin. 

Oh he is the biggest deal. 

Yet you don’t say that aloud. 

“Well, I hope your just Jimin would do whatever he’s doing quickly so you won’t die from starvation.” Jungkook glares at you. You roll your eyes.

“Don’t be dramatic, Kookie. I’m fine.”

He scoots closer to you. Bends down to stare at your face closely. He is sitting next to your curled figure on the couch. “You are not fine, Noona. You’re starved.” You try to hide beneath the throw blanket which you had wrapped around you earlier. Jungkook doesn’t let you. He catches the blanket, not allowing you to pull it over your face. “C’mon, let’s eat something. I’ll make you Budae-jjigae, hm? I promise you’ll feel ten times better with a full tummy.” Comes closer to you until the tips of your noses gently touch. 

You bring a weak hand to push him away, rolling your eyes. Dramatic. “Later.” You pout. Jungkook opens his mouth probably to scold you but the sudden ringing of J’s phone saves you. Jungkook straightens up. You glance at the phone on the coffee table. Lighting up with an incoming call. Caller ID reads as ‘Other J’ and a red heart next to it. Without a doubt you know who that is. 

A sense of dread fills you. Paired up with excitement. This could be news. Maybe Jin is calling her to let her know what happened. You lift your heavy head up in anticipation, waiting impatiently until J picks up the phone. 

She picks it up from the glass table. Flips it upside down. Places it back with the back side of the device facing up. 

No, what?

She’s obviously not going to pick up the call. She’s ignoring the call. Why? Did they fight? You stare at her in confusion while Jungkook sighs. 

“Seriously?” He questions J, exasperatedly.

“Not now, Jungkook.” J dismisses him even before he can even start questioning properly. “I don’t want to talk with him right now.” A strange tension brews in the air. You almost clear your throat awkwardly when J, fortunately, shifts the conversation elsewhere. “Since we don’t have any updates yet, we should focus on something else.” She says matter of factly. 

“Yeah? Like what? Oh, how about learning how not to be fucking stubborn? Both of you can do with such important lessons.” Jungkook snickers. His gaze slides between you and J. Only if you have the energy to bring your hand up and show him the middle finger. 

“Funny.” J lets out a fake laugh. Ignores Jungkook’s snide. “Would be very valuable but I’m in a mood to learn something else, so you can fuck off.” She turns his attention to you. “Like learning about another world.”

Oh, that’s kind of unexpected. You’re not her favorite at the moment. So you never expected her to have a conversation with you even if it’s regarding something interesting like parallel worlds. 

You gulp and gather up your strength to talk back. “What-um-what do you wanna know?” 

“I wanna know everything, but as a start… um…I want to know if you ever met the other versions of someone else. Like, you’re obviously the alternate version of Miss Liya, right?” She looks at you expectantly. You nod in answer. “That means we all have our other versions, right? In your world? Like you?” 

“It should be… I mean, I’ve never met anyone else I know. Not there, not here.” You give her a tight lipped smile. 

J clicks her tongue in disappointment. “That sucks. Have you ever tried to find anyone? What about Jimin? Or Kookie?” She inspects her friend. You follow her gaze first then nod this time.

“I have, I tried to find Jimin when this whole thing started at first but I couldn’t. Then I tried to look for almost all of you with Key—my best friend, but we failed.” You try to hide the pang of the memory of Key causes in your heart. 

It would be fine.

You’ll be fine. 

You’ll definitely have many more moments like that with Key. Like how you and her had combed the internet looking for a bunch of beautiful strangers one night. 

Of course you will. 

“How come?” J inquires you again. 

“Well you know that Liya and I aren’t the same. I mean we are the two versions of one person but we have our differences. Like she’s older than me and she has rich parents. Even our names are different.” You explain the obvious. “So, you—I mean the other you could be anyone, she could be living anywhere in my world, not in South Korea. And her name could be anything. She could be younger than you, older than you or maybe not even born yet.” You shrug. You’re not an expert in this matter by any means. These are things you’ve learnt during your extensive research and your own assumptions. 

J nods. Then chuckles. Softly. “Well, I hope she’s older than me. I hope she didn’t make the same mistake as I did and decided to pursue a stupid degree in economics. I hope she started her own business at sixteen and got successful, and…” She throws a longing glance at her phone. “And I hope she met Jin in that universe too. And that they got to live an extraordinarily normal life. Normal fucking life.” She ends her rant in a heavy sigh. 

You scowl deeply. What’s wrong with them? Why would she say such depressing things? You, however, don’t get to voice the question when Jungkook takes the chance. 

“And you call me dramatic?” He asks from you first. Then says to J, “You don’t have to wish for the other you when you can have it for yourself. Just call the damn guy, J.” 

You don’t know what happened. Maybe it’s personal. But the more they talk between themselves, the more you feel left out and uncomfortable. 

“I will,” J huffs. “Not now. It’s not that easy.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes almost back inside his head. 

“What about you?” J prevents Jungkook from saying anything else with that question. “What do you want your other version to be?” 

You perk up at that. Weird how you and Jungkook haven’t had this conversation before. Jungkook, though, stills. Completely. Utterly. As if J had asked him about the most painful story of his life. A minute passes. Then two. Jungkook still says nothing. His eyes slowly land upon you. And your patience snaps. You nudge him with your foot, which he grabs instantly. 

“C’mon tell us.” So you urge him verbally. “I’m curious now. Do you want him to be… popular? What about an actor? Singer? Or a vlogger, like Yoongi?” 

Jungkook keeps his eyes on you. Stares into your soul. You suddenly feel small. An uncomfortable weight presses on your chest. A weight you can’t pinpoint. Jungkook’s eyes have turned dull. Hollow. Like he’s in pain. Not physically like you but like his heart is aching. Deeply. It’s like you can hear his pain. Then he finally speaks. His gaze turns away from you. You nearly sigh in relief.

“Ah, I don’t know,” A small smile spreads across his lips. Sad. Sad that your throat tightens at the sight. “I just want him to be happy.” He shrugs. Something sharp stings your heart. 

Why? 

Why do you feel this way?

Why would he say that?

It’s even more depressing than what J said. Even though he didn’t use much more than ten words. You can feel the weight in those words. Feel the pain. 

No but why?

“Yah!” You try to kick him this time but he holds your foot tight. “Why would you say that? It’s like this version of you is not happy or something. Who broke your heart, Jeon.” You pout. Then that pout disappears when J scoffs. 

“Yes? Who broke your heart, Jeon?” She repeats your question to Jungkook. But with a knowing look in her eyes. Those eyes sweep past you for a second. You freeze. 

No, it can’t be.

For a minute, you forget your pain. Exhaustion. Suddenly, your brain starts to put things together. Clicks things into places. Goes through every moment you have spent with Jeon Jungkook up to this moment. From the very first day you met him. 

J’s voice rings inside your head. From the day you met them in that club. 

‘Are you a couple?’

‘Oh, he isn’t sad that he lost the bet…’ ‘He’s sad that you’re taken.’

You thought it was just an attraction. Sexual definitely. But it must’ve gone away. 

But what if… what if, that’s not the case?

Every smile of Jeon Jungkook. Every look. Every darn minute he was there. For you. Taking your side. Backing you up. Even bringing you into his home. Taking care of you. Worrying so much about you. 

That’s just because he’s a friend. Right? You had believed it was the case. 

All of a sudden, it makes sense why he was so mad that one day when you admitted you liked Park Jimin. You thought he was just looking after you. It makes sense why he was mad yesterday, before everything went off. He wasn’t just mad. No, he was hurt. You see it now. The pain, the heart break.

No, no, no…. It can’t be. 

You don’t want it to be. Because he is Jungkook. Jungkook who’s so dear to you. Because you love him in your own way. Not like you love Park Jimin but you love Jeon Jungkook. And the thought that you’d lose him pains you. You don’t want that to happen. Don’t want to be the person who breaks his heart. Selfish, maybe. But you want this to be a lie. 

Yes, maybe it’s not the case at all. Maybe you’re reading too much into it. 

How could you not have felt it before?

You had kissed him. You had pleasured him and had let him do the same. And he had sworn that it happened because of the alcohol. He told you it was just the fucked up emotions which followed the events of the night. Right? But what if… what if he just spewed the lies you wanted to hear. 

He’s Jeon Jungkook, after all. 

You clench your fists on the throw blanket. Just like how Jungkook’s hand on your ankle tightens. You feel lightheaded. Your heart is beating madly. Not in a good way, no. This is scary. 

No, you don’t want it to be.

“J…” Jungkook grunts. A warning glare is thrown at J’s direction. His hand on your leg tightens even more. 

No, it’s not that. You’re just reading too much into it. 

J shrugs. “What? I just asked a question. She can ask but I can’t?” 

No this is not it. Yes. 

Why would you have to realize things now? Why would your brain have to understand things that you’ve been oblivious to for so long? You can do without this knowledge just fine. Maybe you should do that. Pretend that you don’t see it. Understand it. Act dumb. It’d be all good then. Yes. Selfish. But it’d be okay. Jungkook will be okay. He will. So will you. 

Jungkook doesn’t say anything in reply to J. So, J speaks again. “Anyway, you know what? I guess I understand what you said now.” 

Jungkook’s face doesn’t loosen a little bit. He keeps glaring at his friend. Yet question her statement. “What?” 

“You know, how it wasn’t fair that some people get to have it easy and others have to go through hell. I get it now…” She glances at her phone again. “It is not fair how some people don’t even get to wish.” She looks back at Jungkook. He sighs. 

“Call him.” Groans. J ignores him. Pays her attention to you. 

“How do you do that?” Asks. You look at her with wide eyes. Confused. 

“Huh?” 

“Love him when you know he’s doing something so wrong?” J clarifies her question. “I would’ve thought you were a gold digger but—”

“For fuck’s sake, J!” Jungkook yells, interrupting J. It’s her time to roll her eyes. 

“Let me fucking finish, will you?” She clicks her tongue. “But…” Starts again. More stern this time. “Considering you’re risking your life for him, to stay here… I guess you love him so damn much. So, how do you do that when you know he’s cheating—sorry, cheated on his girlfriend.” 

You wince at the word cheating. Bitter truth always hits worse. Yet there’d be no way of avoiding that. Avoiding what you and Jimin had done. You take a shuddering breath. At least J has changed the conversation. Which is good. 

“Well, I’m no saint either, am I? I knew what he was doing and I still encouraged him. I knew he was t-taken but I still did what I did.” 

Jungkook’s hand on you tightens even more. You try your best not to glance at him. Or take your foot away from his grasp. 

“Fair enough.” J nods. Leans back in her chair. Takes a minute. “Would you still love him even if he does something even worse?” 

You scowl. “Like what?”

“I don’t know… like something that would make the whole world hate him. Something that is so, so bad? And not even for you. What if he does something bad and wrong just for his own selfish reasons. Just for him.” 

Like whatever they’re doing right now to save the company. Like whatever they’re holding against Liya’s father.

Oh, you’re not that stupid. Now you know what they’ll do to keep the business, would be wrong. So wrong. You don’t have to learn their plan to know that much. They’ll ruin Kim’s life. Or maybe in return Liya’s. Or maybe they won’t. Maybe Kim deserves whatever they are doing. Nonetheless, it’d be wrong. Yet, the answer for J’s question comes to you rather easily. 

Of course, you will.

You will continue to love him. You don’t know what the future will hold for you. If you are to think, you can come up with a million different what ifs. Maybe the future will hold something scary. Maybe all these things you did, will come to bite you back in the ass. But one thing is clear. Anything will be so worth it. Any pain. All the tears. Will be worth it. Worth every minute you spent with Park Jimin. Worth every minute you’ll spend with him. His every smile and every touch. Every single word that leaves his lips.

“I will,” You mumble softly. Feel Jungkook’s gaze on you. You do your best to keep your eyes on only J. “Even if it’s so selfish. Honestly, I don’t care if it’s selfish, J. I just want him to be happy in any way he want. I’m probably so fucking stupid—”

“No you’re not.” Jungkook interrupts you. Makes you look at him in the end. He’s scowling at you. Your heart squeezes. He has to stop doing that. Has to stop taking your side when he knows you’re in love with someone else. Well now you know what J meant when she asked Jungkook to do that at the camp. You struggle to hold his gaze full of adoration as he continues. “This whole conversation is stupid. Not you,” He turns to J. For your immense pleasure. “You said you wanna know about her world, J. Trust me there’s plenty to know and you’re just wasting your time. I’ll give you half an hour before she crashes out again.” 

“Yah!” You in vain try to kick him again. “I’m not a baby.” 

He ignores you. “Listen,” Continues to talk with J. Leans forward for more emphasis. “Would you fucking believe they don’t have Kavons.” 

“Fuck me!” J snaps her head to you. “What in a cursed world do you live?” 

You gasp. Good. This is great. See, Jungkook is yet again saving you. “We have plenty of others.” You play along. You and Jungkook have had this conversation millions of times before. Apparently, Kavons is a famous car brand that J and Jungkook would die for. “Better ones in that case.” You add. 

“Bullshit!” They both chant in unison. 

“And imagine having to grow up without ever listening to the Midnight Symphony.” Jungkook adds. This time J gasps so aloud that you think she got a heart attack. 

“No fucking way.” She mumbles to herself in disbelief.

“Imagine having to grow without knowing Selena Gomez, or…or Taylor Swift.” You argue back. 

“Who are they? Sounds boring.” J shakes her head in disappointment. Okay, that’s your cue to get into full defensive mode. So, you do. Forgetting the rest of the world. Problems and all. And the pain. 

Soon it’s just three young people arguing over nothing. Laughing. And you learn one thing. 

You never want to lose this. It’s not just Jimin. No. You love this life.

…………………………

Nothing changed. 

Nothing except chaos. Utter, pure chaos since the first article of R.U.N Holdings addressing the issues relating to their CEO’s leaked images and videos, hit the public. Claiming that the man in the video is him, but the woman there isn’t Kim Liya, who’s supposedly his girlfriend. They’ve gone with the same lie. Twins. 

And the internet and people had started doing their thing. Half are chewing Jimin between their sharp teeth and spewing the remnants away as if he were nothing but a nasty gristle. Blaming him and demanding he get what he deserves. Fair maybe. Then there is the other half who is sympathizing. For various reasons. Starting from Liya being a little bitch to ending in speculations that he never dated her at all. Claiming that it has been you from the very start and everything being a strategy. Like a PR stunt. Yet most people have been tearing Jimin and the rest alive with their words. 

That’s the only thing. No matter how many naps you had taken, you woke up in Jungkook’s apartment each time. And slowly but surely the clock had ticked. Minutes have passed into hours before you can process it. 

Then it’s been…seventy eight hours. 

Seventy eight!

………..

You sit in Kim’s kitchen. Gaping at your empty lap. Eyes teary yet doing your best to keep them at bay. You’ve fucked up. You can’t stop the bobbing of your leg. When you wanted to keep staying in this world, you always planned to just shift between two worlds. You never thought about giving up on one. Not this quickly anyway. You thought you had time. Now when it’s happening, you feel like drowning. 

They’ve probably forgotten you. 

Your mom will never look at you with love again. 

Your father will never call you his daughter again.

Your sister will think she grew up alone. 

Key will find a new friend.

Chan will find a new employee.

And…. And… if you’d be able to go back… if… that happens… you’ll go back to a world where nobody knows you. 

Only if it works.

What if it never works.

God, you can’t breathe. It’s too much. It’s too scary. Your head is spinning. The toast Jungkook had forced you to eat is milliseconds away from making a reappearance. Jungkook and J are still here. They never left. Yoona has shown up somewhere during your second restless nap. You have given up trying to sleep after that. 

You don’t know what to do. Where to go. Who to talk with. You don’t know. You just don’t kno—

“Spring Roll.” 

You raise your head instantly. The tears you’ve been trying so badly to keep in, fall from your burning eyes, clearing your blurred sight. And you’re met with the only person who can make it better at this moment. 

“Jimin.” You sob aloud, rising to your feet. He doesn’t let you come to him. The moment you stand up, he storms toward you. “Jimin…” You cry out one more time quietly before his arms wrap around you protectively. 

“I know, baby,” He kisses your hair. A featherylight kiss. Yet enough to calm you down. You can’t pretend to be fine anymore. No. You’re not fine. You allow yourself to weep onto his crisp-white shirt. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles. Coaxes. The only thing that does, however, is making you cry harder. 

“It didn’t-didn’t work,” You manage through your broken sobs. “I-I-I tried to sleep but–”

“Shh... it’s okay, love. I know. It’s okay.” Jimin interrupts you. You don’t listen. No. You have to tell him. Everything. 

“B-but it didn’t work and-and…” A fresh wave of tears cut you off. You sniff heavily before piecing the words you want to let out together again. “It’s been more than seventy-seventy– Jimin…” 

“Fuck!” Jimin curses aloud. His arms around you tighten like iron coils. As if to protect you. Protect you from whatever invisible force you’re fighting against. To protect you from the world. “Spring Roll,” His voice comes out thick. Hoarse. You try to pull away from him. To take a look at his face. You only get a glimpse of red eyes when he crushes you back into his chest. “We’ll find a way.” Says as one of his hands goes to the back of your head. 

“We will.” He repeats. As if he can hear your thoughts. “I will. I promise, I just… fuck, Lil..” This time he’s the one who withdraws. Just to grab your face in his palms. “I will, do you hear me? I’ll… Please don’t cry. You’re sick, Princess. Don’t cry, it’ll make it worse. I’m gonna find a way.”

Your cries break in harder. You can’t see through the tears. Can’t breathe through the pain. You’re so grateful for his hold. His touch. The only thing that’s keeping you safe. You know there are other people in the kitchen. People who work at Kim’s. All of whom probably know what you did. People who are judging you. And Jimin. You consider yourself lucky that Namjoon’s parents hadn’t banned you from entering their business place ever again. You had wanted to get out of Jungkook’s apartment but going out seemed like too much. Hence, your reasons to end up here. In your defense, you haven’t expected to see Jimin. 

“Fuck, baby please…” Jimin begs. His hands work frantically to wipe your tears away. “Please trust me once more…”

Of course, you trust him. With all you have. 

You want to say that but the words fail you. 

“I promised you I’ll turn the world upside down, didn’t I?” 

You manage to nod. Weak. 

“I’ll do it. I’ll find a way to make this right again. Until then, can you please…” He lifts your head up. To meet his eyes. “Look at me… I want you to promise me that you’ll stay strong until that? Can you do that? Do you trust me to do that?” 

Jimin looks wrecked. Looks so hurt. He did what he could, didn’t he? He ruined his entire public image. Just to make sure you’ll be fine. Yes, he may have gotten Liya’s father to keep his shares in his company and do whatever they do in business sense. That does  ko n’t let his company go unharmed. Doesn’t let him be unharmed. He’s done everything he could. And you’re hurting him even more. You need to get a grip. 

A beat passes while you try to muster the strength to calm down. To answer him. Then you nod again. Jimin keeps looking at you expectantly. 

“Yes? You’ll trust me?” Asks. 

Another nod. Then the one word follows. “Yes.”

Jimin pulls you back into his embrace. “Thank you.” He breathes. “Thank you, Love. We’ll figure it out.”  You let yourself calm down. Let yourself drown in his familiar scent. And to be flown away into a land of hopes. Just him and you. No worries. Safe. 

Just you and him. 

You’ll figure it out. 

You will. 

Jimin will.

……………………..

Time is slipping through Jimin’s fingers even before he can comprehend it. It’s been two days since he found you broken and scared in a restaurant kitchen. Since he promised you that he’ll figure this out. Even when he had said that, he didn’t know what to do. But he had to console you. Couldn’t just stand seeing you cry. 

Currently, his best possible options lie with that old woman who you once met at Namiseom Island. He’s been looking for her all this time to no avail. Just like how it has been with others who came to warn you, torment you, or help you, that woman had vanished off the face of the earth

Or maybe he’s just an incompetent fool. He hadn’t been able to find anything useful on Kim either. If it wasn’t for Namjoon, he might’ve lost it all by this time. He had the money and power yet he had to seek help from someone else. Maybe he’s not fit to be a CEO or a lover to a girl who fell from a star. 

Maybe he should ask for help from Namjoon. Maybe—

“I hope you’re happy now.” 

The familiar voice behind him makes him go still. His fingers unconsciously tighten around the second glass of whiskey he’s been having within that half an hour. Jimin doesn’t turn around right away. Keeps his gaze out through his apartment window for an extra long minute. Despite the fact that he had been the one who requested this meeting slash talk, he feels like he has no strength to go through it. 

Of course he has no strength. He can’t remember the last time when he ate something properly, slept soundly, or had a proper bath. He’s drained. Yet he has to have this conversation. 

Liya’s not been to their once shared apartment since the havoc broke out. Jimin has no idea where she stayed. Could be anywhere. She has the money to do anything she wants. Not that Jimin cares that much anyway. As bad as it sounds. Though, he believes that he’s required to talk with Liya face to face. End things the adult way. 

He turns around finally. His eyes landing upon the split version of the woman he loves. The woman who shared five years of his life. The woman who has the same eyes, same smile but somehow manages to look nothing like you. 

She looks no different than Jimin. This is the first time he sees those purple smudges beneath her eyes. She looks as if she had aged within one night. Nonetheless, she wears an expression of steel. Head held high and eyes full of hate. Yes, that's hate. Hundred percent hate. Making her eyes glint. 

“Do I look happy?” Jimin doesn’t want to fight. Doesn’t want to be rude. He has no right to be so. Liya might be partially wrong. Her intentions must’ve been ill yet Jimin is the one who had done something wrong. He is the one who had cheated. Who had been unfaithful. Not Liya. Their relationship was broken a long time ago. They couldn’t have found the shattered pieces even if they had tried. They couldn’t have fixed it. Yet Liya never disrespected Jimin the way he did. He’s to blame and he has no right to fight. Hence the softness in his voice despite his words. 

The glint in Liya’s eyes brightens at that. She smiles. A very venomous smile. “Well, judging by the way you look, I guess it didn’t work?” Her voice is calm. As if they’re talking about the weather. “After you ruined everything. Your life, my life, and almost my whole family, it didn’t work?” 

Jimin steps away from the window. Walks over to the nearby pedestal to put away his glass. That’s enough alcohol to make this conversation. “Oh, it worked.” Says matching Liya’s tone of voice. And he isn’t lying. Liya doesn’t know that you’re stuck in this world. She’s referring to the pain, which you had just claimed in this morning to be turning bearable. The only relief Jimin has. 

Despite her best efforts, the glint in her eyes dim as she says, “Good for you then.” 

“Yes. Good for me.” Jimin answers for the sake of it. 

He’s not going to fight.

He’s going to do this the adult way. 

Liya assesses him for a long second. Then asks the very question he knew she would ask. “How did you do that?” 

“Did what?” Yet he plays dumb.

“You know what, Jimin. How did you manage to convince my father to keep supporting you when you ruined my life?”

So she doesn’t know. 

Jimin always wonders about that. About Liya knowing about the weapon dealing. He doesn’t want her to know. Doesn’t want her to be a part of that. 

“Maybe your father likes me.” Jimin steps around her question. Wonders what she’d say if she knew the truth, however. Would she be mad at him or his father? 

The talk with Mr Kim had gone as good as it could be. Yet apparently Jimin is a better actor than he thinks. Somehow and someway he had managed to convince Mr. Kim that they’ve got more solid evidence in their hands. The luck would have it that he hadn’t asked to see them all. Probably out of fear. Fear of knowing how deep the problem runs. In the end, they had made a deal. Just like Jimin wanted. 

Liya only scoffs. Fair. They both know that won’t be the case in a million years. Kim never liked Jimin. The only reason why he helped him was Liya. 

“I hope you know that whatever you did isn’t going to go well with you, Jimin. You can’t defeat him.” Liya’s voice holds so much confidence. Too much perhaps. “I don’t know what you did but I know my father will fix it.” 

Oh he knows. He’s no fool to believe that Kim would sit back and be Jimin's puppet. He must be hunting for whatever evidence Jimin has. He’ll make sure to turn the tables. Or he’ll try to do so. This is a dangerous game Jimin is playing. 

“Let’s see about that, shall we?” 

They hold their gazes for a second. No yielding. Until Liya shrugs. Cocky. 

“So, to what do I owe the honor of visiting you?” Liya steps closer to him. Just a little bit. Changes direction of the conversation to the right way. Jimin tries to answer her question but she starts speaking again. “Oh, lemme guess. Are you gonna apologize, Park Jimin? Say you’re sorry that you did it and all those bullshits? Be a good person?” 

Jimin winces at her words because that’s exactly what he’s about to do. That and the end. End of their story.

“Guess what, Park Jimin? Save all that bullshit. I don’t wanna hear it and nor do I want to make you feel any less miserable. You deserve to rot in hell.” She bites. Eyes full of so much hatred that Jimin is positive he would be able to see the darkness surrounding her if it’s possible. 

He sighs heavily. “I know.” Mumbles. Liya scoffs. 

“Then this meeting was such a waste of time. You should’ve wasted that time with your new bi—”

“Kim Liya!” He doesn’t deserve to fight. Liya has all the rights to blame him, disrespect him. But not you. No. You’re as wrong as he is but he doesn’t care. Even if you’re the most evil person in the world, he’s still going to defend you. 

Liya closes her mouth. A sheen glosses over her eyes for the first time, as she gently gnaws on her bottom lip. “You’re a pig, Jimin.” Says oh so softly. 

“Worse. I’m much worse than that, Liya.” 

“Stop!” Liya closes the distance between them in a blink. A pointed finger jabs into Jimin’s chest painfully. “Stop trying to act like you regret what you did, Park Jimin.” Yells. Looks as if she’s at the verge of breaking down. “Stop pitying me! I don’t want your goddamn pity. I-I…oh, you’re such an ungrateful jerk, Park Jimin.” She clenches her teeth so hard that Jimin fears she might break them. “I was there for you…” She continues. “I was there for you when you had nothing, Jimin. When you were nothing. Not some college chick who’s too fucking young for you. I made you. If it wasn’t for me… you’re still nothing but a college fuck boy. And-and you did this to me…” 

Rest of her words drift into the distance as Jimin feels his heart squeezes painfully. Not for her, no. Not for them either. No. For him. 

She’s saying the absolute truth.

He has everything he has because of her. 

What a bastard he is…

He is a bastard. But he’s not going to change anything. For the sake of his own guilty consciousness. No, he has to take care of you. He loves you. And all he can hope—selfishly—is that you’d love his pathetic self despite all his flaws. 

Jimin steps away from Liya’s jabbing finger. “I’m sorry.” Manages to say clear and loud through whatever poison Liya is throwing his way. 

“Don’t say that. Don’t say you’re sorry, Jimin… because you’re not…” Liya screams. “You’re not sorry at all.” Yet she doesn’t let a single tear drop from her glossed eyes. That hurt she’s feeling is not for them. She’s not mourning them. She’s not mad because she lost Jimin. He knows it. She’s mad for the respect she lost. 

“But I am sorry.” He means it. 

“Yeah? Yeah? Then would you do it any differently? If you had the chance, would you not cheat on me? Would you try to fix what we had?” 

A silence. Deep, horrible silence. And that’s answer enough. Liya chuckles. Understands what Jimin’s lack of verbal answer means. Yet he speaks up.

“I would…” He looks at her eyes. Eyes full of hate. “I would do it again, Liya, and that’s what I’m sorry for… Because I’d do it again and again,” Liya takes a step back as if he slaps her. “And I don’t think we had anything we could fix, Kim Liya. I don’t know why you chose me, stuck to me when I had nothing, but I sure do know that it wasn’t love—”

“Who are you to judge that?”

“Oh, c’mon, we both know you didn’t love me. Cared for me, maybe… that wasn’t love, Liya.” Maybe he hadn’t loved her either. Or he had but not deeply as he loves you. “I’m sorry that it came to this. And no I didn’t ask you to come so I could be the better person because I’m not. I asked for you because you deserve—we deserve to end it properly.” Jimin blurts out in one breath before Liya can interrupt him again. 

“End it properly?” Liya questions. 

“Yes. We—uh-need to—”

“No!” 

Jimin shuts his mouth for a split second. Then her words register in his mind. It’s completely unavoidable how his patience snaps. How fast his calm demeanor changes into a dark scowl.

“Liya…” He tries. Just to be cut off. 

“No, Jimin. I said no. You already ruined my whole life and do you know what I hate most in this world other than pity? Losing. I hate fucking losing. I was raised to win and win and win. So, if you think I’d accept defeat against a silly college girl, then you’re so… so… so … wrong, Jimin.” She shakes her head. “I’m gonna take everything I lost back, including you—”

“For fuck’s sake, Liya!” Jimin snaps. At last. It’s impossible not to. “Stop pretending like you need me. You don’t fucking need me. You never did. And this isn’t—wasn’t about winning. And listen carefully Miss. Kim, I wanted to end this properly in the right way because we shared a life, that’s it. I don’t want anything else to do with you. We’re done, Kim Liya, and I don’t give a fuck about what you’d do but…” This time it’s Jimin who steps closer to her. “If you ever try to harm her or fuck things up… trust me…your loving father wouldn’t like to know that you played a role in this mess. He’d be furious to know that you sent those stupid vultures tailing me.” 

A silence falls. Liya’s chin wobbles. Jimin has got her. Has hit the nerve. She has been so right to say that she was raised to win. She’ll never do anything to disappoint her father. Or will not let him know about that. She’s the daughter who lives to please. 

“You wouldn’t.” At last she grits. 

“I will. I most definitely will, Liya. You have no idea how selfish I can be. Don’t test me. Let’s just end this. Here.”

“Go rot in hell, Jimin!” She barks. Then turns around. Not another word before she storms away. Through the space she once used to stroll leisurely. Through the space she once called home. And out through the front door. Slamming it hard behind her. For once and for all. Marking the end. 

And the only thing Jimin feels is relief. 

……………………

“Now what are we gonna do?” Jin questions as he sweeps his eyes over the monthly sales reports. Sitting across from Jimin at his office table. They’re going down. Not rapidly. But there’s a loss. And they all know it’d get lower and lower with every month if they don’t do anything. 

“Now,” Jimin shifts in his seat. He hates this. Hates having to make his friends worry over something again. “We work hard.” Yet he has no other option. 

“Like what exactly?” Hoseok groans. As the CMO, Jimin knows how hard Hoseok has been trying to take them out from this shit hole in whatever way he knows. “We need a plan, Jimin. Just working hard won’t do anything.” 

Jimin knows. Oh he knows. But he’s just using all of his energy on finding that old woman and on Kim these days. He has to find her and has to keep Kim at bay. Without poking his nose too much and discovering that Jimin was bluffing, with no such proof at all. 

“What if we let Li talk to the public?” Hoseok perks up at the utter silence of the group. 

“Absolutely not!” Jimin doesn’t let Hoseok go any further with that idea at all. 

Hoseok sighs. “No but… just think about it man. They are hating you without knowing the actual story—”

“What story?” Jin butts in. “That Li is angel or something? Cheating is cheating man, you can’t justify it and make people take your side.”

“Wrong,” Hoseok leans forward. Forearms perched on the black tabletop. “Cheating is cheating but if you play the cards right, you can justify anything you want. Murder. Robbery. Lying. Anything you want. And think about it, it’s not like you wanted to do this,” He raises a brow at Jimin. “Neither did she. You just love each other. And my dear friends, romance is the best way to justify anything. People are going to take your side.” He leans against the back rest again. Casually. Waiting for Jimin’s answer. 

“Well that’s so fucked up.” Taehyung speaks up for the first time. Raising his head up from where he’s been resting it on the table. He looks so tired. This is the most tiered Jimin has seen him after the college final year.

“You’re the one to talk, Taehyung.” Hoseok dismisses him. 

“At least I’m not manipulating people.” Taehyung gasps. Offended. 

“We. Are. Not. Doing. It. That’s it.” Jimin puts an end to their debate. 

“And why the hell not?” Hoseok demands. 

“She’s not well, Hoseok. And she’s stuck here. She’s going through enough already. I’m not going to drag her into this mess and make her suffer even more. She’s not going to become some PR stunt.” Jimin almost leaves the room with that when Hoseok stops him. 

“First of all, you said she’s getting well. Second of all, why would you use the word stuck? Is this not what you both wanted? I thought you were making Taehyung look for a ghost because you wanted to find a way to keep her.” Hoseok gestures at Jimin’s poor best friend. 

“I—that’s— yes but not this way. Not so fucking suddenly.” 

“Then how did you plan to do that?” This time it’s Jin who questions. 

“Yes, it’s not like you have many choices to begin with. It’s not like you can go to her world or anything. It's either this or making her keep shifting between two worlds? How’s that gonna work?” Hoseok continues. Jimin feels uncomfortable. Utterly uncomfortable. Because he doesn’t know how to answer these questions. He has wondered about the future to be honest. About how this would work. But neither of you has had time to talk about that. Not with all the other problems. 

“We haven’t talked about that yet,” So he mumbles the truth. “But I’m not gonna keep her like that. She has a life in her world. A family. A job. Friends and a degree to complete. I’m not going to rob her of that. And I won’t take away her right to make a decision. If she wants to stay, then she has to decide. This is not how I want it.” 

“What if she doesn’t want to stay? What if she wants to leave  and never come back?” Hoseok softens his voice. “Then what Jimin?” 

Jimin’s blood turns ice. He stiffens. A painful squeeze in his heart making him look away from his friends. All three pairs of eyes turn to him expectantly. Well, this is something else that he had wondered about among other millions of what ifs. Yet he never wanted to humor the thought more than necessary. 

Jimin curls his fists into tight balls. As if it’d help to ease the uncomfortable tightness inside his chest. “Then she leaves.” The words taste like ashes on his tongue. 

He doesn’t want you to leave. 

Can’t imagine how it’d be without you again. 

But…. Then… he loves you so damn much. 

He’ll do his best, though. He’ll ask. He’ll beg. He’ll do what he has to do. Still, if you say you want to go, then he loves you enough to let you make that choice. 

“I’m not going to steal her chance of making choices. She- she will—”

“She’ll stay.” Hoseok clears his throat after he blurts the words. “Don’t worry. All you have to do is ask.” 

Jimin gapes at him. A lazy smirk tugs on Hoseok’s lips. “Damn!” He looks at their other two friends. “This one is in love, isn’t he?” 

Jin chuckles, “Disgustingly so…” 

“Yes, I’m cringing so bad that my stomach is hurting. I would’ve preferred to listen to the last time you had sex in detail than hearing all those Jimin.” Taehyung agrees. Not that he’d chosen a bad alternative. Not for him. Jimin doesn’t point it out, though. 

Bastards!

Jimin raises his hand to imitate a punch toward Taehyung, who’s the only one sitting closer to him. Taehyung puts his arms over his head. Laughing. Hard. A smile appears on Jimin’s face as well. 

“No PR stunt then.” Jin shuffles to his feet. An amused glint in his eyes. Jimin wants to smack each of them in their beautiful faces. “Which means, we are indeed working hard to find another way.” He pats Hoseok’s shoulder. Urging him to get up and start working as well. 

Hoseok groans as he does as Jin says. “Y’all need to listen to your CMO sometimes.” He grumbles. Yet everybody knows that he doesn’t mean it. Taehyung follows their other two friends. Still grinning. Jimin watches as they empty the office while bickering and teasing each other. A strange calm washes over him.

Everything will be fine again. 

He’ll solve these problems. He’ll make sure you’re okay. Make sure you're healthy and happy. And you’ll have your happy ending. Even though he doesn’t know how. How to have it without breaking your heart, one way or another. How unfair. How fucking unfair. 

……………………

“Jungkook…” You sigh as you give up on trying to chop vegetables for the dinner. Jungkook hasn’t been letting you work— which means cooking—peacefully for more than an hour now. 

“C’mon, Noona! It’s going to be fun. Besides, some fresh air will do you good.” Jungkook argues. Fair. His points are true. Is speaking the truth. You’ve been cooped up in his apartment almost all the time. Except for the time you work at the restaurant. Only in the kitchen though. Because Jimin had not wanted to let the public be aware of your location. He hadn’t demanded you stay away but requested. You could go there if you could handle the attention, which you decided you can’t. 

The second reason why you’ve been refusing to go anywhere else. The first reason is that you don’t feel like it. You’re getting better. Kind of. You can stomach some foods and you don’t feel utterly exhausted all the time. But… inside, you feel strangely hollow. Even though you love this life in this world. Even though you’re closer to Jimin than you’ve ever been. Still, you feel like you betrayed the people you’ve known all your life. You feel purposeless. 

Damn your parents had paid a hefty sum for your college. You had just a couple months to go to have that degree on your hands. Now? They’ve all left behind. Just like that, you lost everything. Crazy, because on the other hand, you’ve got a life you’ve been desperately clinging on to. 

“I really don’t feel like going out, Kookie…” You sigh. “You should go. Have fun.” 

“Fuck no. If you’re not going then I’m not going—”

“Jung—”

“I’m not going without you, Noona. And you talk to J. She planned the whole night just for you. She’s gonna be mad…. So mad….” He shakes his head dramatically. You roll your eyes. You don’t want to bail on your friends but sometimes they need to understand the meaning of the words ‘no’ and ‘can’t’. “C’mon, baby… give it a chance. If you feel worse or if anything happens, I’m gonna bring you home right away.” Jungkook steps behind you just to wrap his arms around your body. 

You tense up. Try your best not to step away or shove him away. It feels weird to be close to him and hearing him say those nicknames to you when you know they probably mean more to him than to you. That they’re not friendly from his side. Yet if you step aside, he’d find it odd. He’d question you and you’d have to say the truth. And you don’t know what it’d do to your relationship. Probably would leave it cracked. You’d be so awkward around each other. In simple words, you’d lose Jeon Jungkook. 

You force yourself to stay still. Be the girl he had known all these months. “Besides, you’re good at doing more, Noona. More than just cooking like you’ve gone crazy. You need to try.” He adds. Sways you from side to side in his hold. True. What he’s saying. You’ve been cooking too much lately. At the restaurant and then again at home. Totally unnecessary because you have enough food. But it has been your way of distracting yourself. Feeling useful. Feeling as if you have a purpose. It’d be a good form of distraction for someone who loves cooking. Not for you. You never liked it, nor disliked it. You just made what you needed. This is not something you’re enjoying. Jungkook is so right. 

Maybe you should listen to him. Get yourself out there and see what it’ll bring to you. You know that there’s no advantage of keeping yourself hidden this way. Maybe a night out with your favorite people from this world will help you to forget about the ones in your other world. The people who might’ve–no not might, but surely have forgotten you already. Maybe a glass of wine would do good to you. Yes. You should loosen up. 

“Fine…” You place the knife in your hand down. 

“Yes!” Jungkook makes a victorious sound. Squeezes you a little tighter before letting you go. “You have an hour to get ready and look less dead.” Steps away from you.

“Yah!” You shout after him. He looks over his shoulder to wink at you. “Who else is coming?” You ignore that wink. 

Jungkook shrugs. “I don’t know, the usual people… maybe.” With that he leaves the kitchen. Hyper excited about getting ready. Like a teenage girl going on her first ever date. You scowl at his retrieving back. That wasn’t an answer at all. 

What you want to know is whether Jimin will come. Despite the fact that now you live under the same sky for every day, you’ve not seen him for days. Days! Simply because he’s drowning in work. You want to see him. Be closer to him. You always feel better when you do. Yet you’ve decided to be an understanding, mature woman instead of a naive college girl—even though you’re no longer a college girl. You’ve decided to let Jimin handle things first. 

He probably won’t be there today as well. It’s fine though. You have your other friends. You have Jungkook. Oh, how selfish you are. Even after your greed ruined almost everything, you’re still so selfish. You want everything to yourself. When you know that this must be damn hard for Jungkook. 

You wonder how he does that. How he manages to still take care of you this way when he knows that your heart belongs to someone else. How can he still give you everything? He gives, gives and gives, and receives nothing in turn. How can a person be so selfless? 

Oh, this is not fair. Not at all. Jeon Jungkook—your Jeon Jungkook—deserves so much better. Right? Then why shouldn’t you do it? You should do it. Even though it’d hurt like hell to lose him. But he deserves a life. You have to. 

You have to.

For once, you should do the right thing. 

Yes, you will.

But…but…maybe not today. He’s in such a good mood. You won’t ruin that. Maybe tomorrow. Or the day after that. The moment you get an opportunity. You’ll do that. You’ll be selfless. Like Jeon Jungkook. And let him live. 

……………….

The pub J has chosen for the night is packed to the brim. The soft music and chatter of other patrons fill the air. It’s giving you a headache. Even when the music is soft. 

You glance over your shoulder toward the bar, where a crowd has gathered. Among them are your two friends. J and Jungkook. You catch the way they animatedly argue with each other. Probably about what to buy. You want them to hurry. That glass of wine would help you ease the headache and blend in. 

“Oh my god, Joon. You’re insufferable.” Yoona’s groan brings your attention back to the table. Namjoon slumps in his seat. 

“You are insufferable, woman. It’s not that hard. Just pick a color. It’s just the same, there won’t be any difference.” 

Yoona clicks her tongue in disapproval. “You know what? There’s no point in talking this with you. Li,” She turns to you. “You tell me, which color is the best?” Shows you her phone screen. Is showing you two different shades of white. 

You scowl at Namjoon first. “Don’t tell me you said these are the same color.” 

“It is the same color.” He leans forward as if to push the words into your brain. “There’s going to be no difference when you paint your house with this,” He points at the first shade. A soft, warm white. Almost cream. “Or this.” He gestures to the next. A pure white. Pure fucking white. You can’t believe he says it’s the same color.

“Wow, I’m embarrassed to call you my friend now,” You shake your head. Namjoon rolls his eyes. You pay your attention to Yoona. “This one is better.” You pick the warm tone. “Are you renovating?” Ask in the end. Just curious. 

“Nah, just going to paint the walls. The color we have now is so ugly…” Yoona glances over to his boyfriend. “He picked the color. He’s as creative as a fish.” 

Namjoon scoffs. “Well it must suck to be you.” Slumps in his seat. Pouts. Sulks. Yoona goes to console him immediately. Lunging at the poor man pinching his cheeks. It must be amazing to be in that stage of a relationship. Just being themselves and free. Even being able to insult without actually hurting each other’s feelings. That type of understanding. You wish you’ll reach that stage. You want to. You want to grow old and die with Jimin. 

You snap your eyes away from the couple when Jungkook places a bottle of wine and ten glasses on the table. 

Ten. 

You turn to Jungkook, frowning. Why’s there so many glasses? You almost question him when a sudden weight settles on your shoulders. Before you can turn around to find out who’s the owner of the hands on your shoulders, a familiar voice erupts next to your ear.

“Hello beautiful, you look gorgeous.” The words follow a quick kiss to your cheek. You finally manage to turn your head. Enough so that Jimin presses his lips to yours this time. Your body goes rigid. Are you doing this? In front of everyone? The moment Jimin pulls away you dart your eyes over the table, now crowded with more people. Nobody, however— except J and Jungkook, looks at you differently. They don’t look at you at all. The rest acts like this is normal. To kiss and hold Jimin. 

You know he had officially ended it with Liya. Still, what you had done was wrong. The only acceptable reaction here is by J. You know why Jungkook isn’t looking at you. It’s not for the same reason. Maybe they’re taking it easy on you. Or…or—

“Are you okay?” Jimin sits next to you. Concerned eyes scanning your face. He reads you like a book. “It’s fine, Lil. I’m not hiding anymore. I’ve done bad things but guess what, fuck it.” He mumbles so only you can hear him. 

You take a second. A minute. Processing. He’s right. You and he have gone through all this shit so you could actually be together. Like Yoona and Namjoon. So you could be a normal couple. You want it. You want at least one normal thing in your life. You want Jimin. 

You want to grow old with him till you die. 

You nod slowly. A cheeky smile appears on Jimin’s face as he takes your hand in his. Kisses the back. You blush, making his eyes glint in that familiar amusement. Oh god, you’ve missed that.

“Are you blushing?” He leans toward you to whisper. 

“No!” You deny the obvious right away. “It’s hot here.” 

Jimin snorts. You mirror his smile. Funny, how you’re already feeling better. You eye him like he’s made of stars and moonlight. Wondrous. Amazing. Maybe he looks at you in the same way. Well, this is not so bad after all. 

You reluctantly turn your gaze away from him to the rest of your companion. Busy fitting into the table. Arguing over who should sit where. J and Jin are already sitting the farthest they can. Guess they still haven’t resolved whatever issue they’re going through. You hope they’d find a way. Because they deserve each other. 

Jungkook stull isn’t looking your way. He says something to Yoongi. Something serious. There’s not a hint of smile or joy in his face. Your heart squeezes. It feels wrong to be so intimate with Jimin when you know it must hurt Jungkook as hell. 

“Are you going to talk with him?” Jimin’s sudden question jerks your attention away  from Jungkook. You raise a brow at Jimin. “C’mon, everyone knows he likes you. Why do you think I hate him?” Jimin rolls his eyes.

“You don’t hate him.” You correct him. Hate is a powerful word. 

Jimin considers it. “Yeah, maybe not. But I don’t like him either.” 

“Don’t you?” 

Jimin groans. “I used to be so jealous of him. But you know what, Spring Roll? As much as I don’t like him, I’m so grateful for him.”

Okay, that’s not expected. 

You look at him with pure amusement this time. Silently demanding further explanation. 

“He was there for you when I couldn’t. And even though I hate that, I’m glad you had someone who took your side and stuck to you no matter what.” 

The squeeze in your heart tightens. True. That’s what Jungkook had done. That’s what he’s doing now. Still sticking to your side even when it breaks his heart. You need to talk to him. You have to free him of that pain. You almost cry at Jimin’s words. Luckily, or not, someone interrupts and saves you.

“Oh, looks like you haven’t started the party without me.” 

You raise your head to find….

Seoyeon.

For the sake of fucking…..

Why does it have to be like this every fucking time? Why would she or Liya have to just crash your every gathering? Why? Why? Why?

“What?” Seoyeon sits next to her boyfriend as everyone else is blinking at her face stupidly. Stunned. “Am I not invited?” 

Obviously.

No one says anything. Except Taehyung. “What are you doing here?” He asks coldly. You hate that tone. Seoyeon, apparently stays unfazed. 

“What do you think? Hanging out with my boyfriend’s friends.” She shrugs. A sweet smile on her lips. 

“I thought you didn’t like my friends” Taehyung raises a brow. 

“Who said that? Just because my best friend doesn’t like something, it doesn’t mean I don’t like that either. I never said that, you’ve made your own assumptions.” Seoyeon grabs a glass of wine from the table. Your choice of drink for the night. She swirls the dark red liquid inside the glass. Taehyung sighs. 

“How did you even—”

Seoyeon doesn’t let Taehyung finish his question. “Oh I heard you talking with someone on the phone.” Shrugs. Taehyung gives her an incredulous look. 

“You heard—Seoyoen—isn’t that shameless? Embarrassing?” Taehyung almost gets to his feet. As if he wants to have this conversation somewhere else. Seoyeon stays still on her chair. Takes a languid sip of the drink. 

“It is shameless. But compared to the things people in this table have done…this is nothing. Compared to what you have done…” Finally, her sweet smile vanishes. Leaving a grimace. Her eyes full of fire directly land on Taehyung. “This. Is. Nothing…. Kim Taehyung!” 

Taehyung goes still. You know what she means. Everybody knows what she means. 

She knows! Of course, she does. Maybe she’s known it for so long. 

“What?” She asks again at Taehyung’s silence. Puts down her drink. “You thought I’d never know? Did you think I’m that dumb or…or that I wouldn’t care? Did you—”

“Seoyoen.” Taehyung breathes. His face suddenly remorseful. No hardness. Everyone else on the table stays quiet. You’re not sure they’re even breathing. 

“Don’t—” Seoyoen snaps. “Don’t fucking Seoyoen me. You’re a fucking jerk, Taehyung. I hate you so much. I hate you… do you hear me? I fucking hate you.” Her pretty face twitches with anger. Ugly. Ugly hot anger. Taehyung glances downward. Says nothing. You believe he has nothing to say. “I’m not here to celebrate the grand union of your asshole friend and his bitch.” Seoyoen continues. Jimin tenses next to you. You grab his hand. This is not the time. She has a right to be mad. At everyone. 

“I-I…” Seoyoen pants. Anger makes it hard to speak. “I’m here to tell you that we’re done.”

Silence. Silence. Silence.

Deafening silence even though the bar is in full swing. 

“I know you don’t give a fuck.” Seoyeon carries on. “You probably feel so relieved, Taehyung. So, consider this as a favor. I’m saving your pathetic ass from having to do this by yourself, if you ever planned to do it. I hope you’d be fucking grateful for the favor.” She picks up the glass of wine again. Holds it up. “Cheers,” Says even when nobody joins her in the celebration. She doesn’t care. “To getting rid of toxic, pathetic fucking men.” Brings the drink closer to her red lips. Stops. Glances at you. “Unfortunately, not for you. You’re stuck with one.” Then she chugs down the entire glass in one go. 

………………….

You’re not happy. You would’ve been in another situation. Like if you were watching a movie. Like if you were on Seoyeon’s side. A stranger. A third person who’s watching this drama unfold. But you’re not. You would’ve been thrilled and rooting for Seoeyon if you were a good person in this story. But you’re the villain. You’re one of the bad guys. So, you’re not happy. 

Not happy about how Seoyoen chose this particular day and moment—not because the party was for you but because J’s plans were ruined yet again. Not happy about how she humiliated Taehyung. Maybe not everyone here knows who he really is. Maybe they all are hating him now. You’re not happy about it. Definitely not happy about how otherwise bubbly Taehyung is so silent, tossing down drink after drink—more stronger than wine, in a row. 

Seoyeon is matching his pace. Drinking in her own world. Not talking with anyone or paying any mind to anyone. The table had been filled with a feast a few minutes ago. Some are nibbling on food, slowly and quietly talking with the person next to them. You play with the food on your plate as you intensely watch the way Taehyung fills his shot glass for what must be the tenth time. 

You and Jimin moved your seats closer to Taehyung — one on each side. Just because you wanted to be there. To let him know that you don’t give a fuck. 

“Slow down, Tae…” Jimin tries to take the glass away from his friend slowly. Taehyung groans in annoyance. 

“No…” He grabs the glass back. Shoves it in your direction, away from Jimin. “I’m not drunk. Not even buzzed. I can drink ten more bottles…” He blabbers. Drunk. Obviously drunk. This is not good. Someone should stop Seoyoen as well. She’s turning redder and redder, which you think is scary. 

“For fuck’s sake, Taehyung.” Jimin yet again tries to snatch Taehyung’s glass away. Fails. Taehyung ignores him. Turns to you. 

“What…are you do-doing…?” Questions. Slurring over his words. 

“What?” You stop poking around your plate. 

“Why are you sitting here?” Taehyung looks at you as if his question is so obvious and you’re dumb not to understand it. “Both of you,” Points at Jimin. “Why are you two sitting next to me like I’m your kid and you have to protect me at all cost?” Takes a second. Before either of you or Jimin can answer, he goes again. “Wait… that sounds like a good idea,” Gasps. “Do you like…want to adopt me?” Beams. 

You sigh. Roll your eyes. “Well, we don’t need an alcoholic son. Only if you stop drinking soju like it’s water, maybe we’ll consider…” 

“I am not drunk, mother. Your son has a high alcohol tolerance.” 

You cringe at the word ‘mother.’ And high alcohol tolerance? You snort softly. You open your mouth to humble him a bit when he goes back into a serious mood. 

“No but seriously, why?” Asks again. “Why are you not sitting next to your boyfriend?” Boyfriend. How odd that word sounds. You don’t get to dwell on that. “You can be together out in the open, finally. Why aren’t you doing it? Why aren’t you two sitting together? What are you doing next to me? Why aren’t you enjoying the night ?” 

“Who told you that I’m not enjoying it?” You question back. 

“Enjoying what exactly?”

“Your company.” 

Taehyung falls silent for a second. Then it’s his time to snort. “Oh c’mon, Li, we both-both—” He stutters a little. “Know… that’s not the case at all.” 

“Then why do you think I’m here?”

“I don’t know. Probably because you pity me… or maybe you’re enjoying my company because you think our situations are similar.” He clicks his tongue. “Because-because you’ve done something like I did…” A sigh. “If that’s the case, I don’t want you to sit here, Li.” He mumbles. Voice raw. Raw from emotions. 

You feel a deep pang in your heart. “That’s…” You put your chopsticks down. Turn fully toward him. This conversation needs all the attention. “Not why I’m here Tae…” You say sternly. “I’m here because I’m your friend—” You have more words to say but Taehyung butts in. 

“Yeah? But would you be my friend if you never did something like that?” 

You know what that, that means. You briefly glance over to Jimin. He’s turned to Yoona, giving you and Taehyung the privacy to talk. But you know he can hear you. The slight tensing of his shoulders is proof enough. 

“What if Jimin never chased you over? What if you never fell for him and did the right thing? Would you still sit here because you’re my friend?” Taehyung continues without waiting for any answer from you. “You wouldn't, right? You would sit on the other side of this table, probably with Seoyeon, consoling her, telling her that she did so good and I deserve to rot in hell. You would hate my guts like everyone else and would wish that you’d never see me again.” 

The pang in your chest deepens. You and Taehyung may not be as close as you and Jungkook are. But, you still care about Taehyung in your own way. Wrong or not. Weird. To like and care about someone who’s utterly wrong. You think that’s how it is, however. And you need him to know that. 

“First,” So you begin. “I don’t know about everyone else but, Taehyung… I don’t think they all hate you. Not him…” You gesture to where Hoseok is sitting across from you with your head. Taehyung follows your sign, just to find Hoseok carefully watching him, swirling the drink inside his cup mindlessly. The moment Taehyung’s eyes land on him he looks away. Yet, the point has been proven. “And him…” The next spotlight is for Jin—who is throwing brief glances over Taehyung. “Or your best friend.” You add lastly. Neither of you bother to look at Jimin. There’s no need to. You both know he cares. 

“If they wanted to hate you, they would’ve done so a long time ago. And about me…” You start slowly. “Yes I wanted to kill you when I first knew you were cheating on your girlfriend. On that first day we met at that hotel. I wanted to scream at Seoyeon and tell her that you were cheating. I wanted to tell her to dump your stupid ass right then and there.” 

At your words, Taehyung glances at his drink instead of your face. Ridden with guilt. 

“But…” You add hastily. Before he can make his own assumptions about what you have to say. “I also really liked you Tae. I liked how you made me laugh, how you made me feel accepted. Even when you thought I was Liya—and I know you guys weren’t very fond of her. I loved how carefree and funny you were. You always made me feel good. Happy even. And I’m so glad that Jimin has you, Tae. You have no idea how much of a good friend you are.” 

“So, yes… I would’ve still sat here as your friend even if Jimin and I never happened.” You internally cringe at your own words. You don’t want to think about the prospect. “Maybe I wouldn’t have just sat and watched you drink like you could handle it,” Taehyung tries to protest, his eyes back on you. You don’t let him. “Maybe I would’ve given you hell. I would’ve forced you to do the right thing before things got messy. I wouldn’t have liked what you did at all. But still I would’ve sat next to you, even though I know you got what you deserved. Yes, you deserve that but I will be sitting next to you, no matter what. Because I love you.” 

Taehyung’s eyes light up.

“As a friend I mean.” You state sternly, making him chuckle for the first time. 

“You would?” Then he asks. 

“Yes I would.” You reply. Softly. 

“But doesn't that make you a bad person?” 

“Maybe it does, I don’t know, Tae. But I think that’s what people do. People care about what matters to them the most. Even if that makes them villains.” You are a villain. In Liya’s story you’re the bad guy. In Seoyeon’s story you’re the evil person. But in the end, you don’t care. “I would choose the people I love over greater goodness all the time. And I don’t care what it makes of me. I would choose you and to be with you even if you’ve done something even worse. Like you’re doing with Jimin.” You reach for his hand. Squeeze.  Just to let him know that you mean your words. 

Taehyung says nothing for a while. Then nods. “Thank you!” Says softly. 

“I’m not doing you any favors to be thankful for, Taehyung.” 

“All right then.” He agrees. No more arguments. Picks up his glass. “Cheers! To choose what matters to us the most.” Holds the glass for you to clinck against. You do. Almost bring it to your lips to take a sip even though you don’t want to when Taehyung starts adding more. “And to you adopting me and loving me, and for my new family.” 

You roll your eyes. Yet Jimin’s the one who loses it. “Who’s adopting who?” He barges into your conversation. 

“You. Me.” Taehyung answers simply. 

“Absolutely not. I’d much rather adopt the stupidest donkey in the world than adopt you.”

Taehyung gasps, offended. Yet before he can say anything, J muses. “Is there any difference between the two?”

Taehyung sucks in almost all the air in the room. “Fuck you, J.” Flips her off when you grab his attention by clanking your glass with his. Again. 

“To you.” You say as you take the first sip. Taehyung follows. You gulp down the mouthful of wine. Mistake… You wince instantly at the taste. You’ve never tasted a wine that tasted so bad. The sweet taste feels like vinegar on your tongue. You jump toward the plate of fried chicken. Taking a bite, hoping the awful taste in your mouth will fade. 

Another mistake. 

The moment your taste buds touch the piece of food, your stomach starts coiling. Mouth turns sour. You stumble into your feet. You haven’t thrown up lately. Maybe you won’t now either. But it’d be a good idea to leave the table. 

“I’m sorry I—” You half apologize as you turn on your heel, stopping when you notice that Jimin has gotten to his feet as well. So does Jungkook. “I’m fine,” You say to neither or to no one in particular. “I’ll be back soon.” 

Jungkook listens to you and falls back to his seat, eyes still watching you like a hawk. Careful. Ready to do anything if need be. Jimin, however, doesn’t give a fuck. You feel his presence behind you as you finally leave the table. 

……………………..

You kneel in front of the toilet bowl for ten minutes. Trying to force out whatever your body is refusing to keep inside. Yet nothing comes out. Even after ten minutes you do nothing but dry heave. At least the nausea reduces. To a point where you finally gather the strength to stand up. 

You take an extra couple minutes to fix yourself up before exiting the cubicle. Slowly. Too scared to give yourself surprises that would trigger your nausea again. Only that the universe doesn’t plan on letting you off the hook that easily. The moment you step outside the cubicle, your eyes are met with a figure leaning against the counters. 

The last person you want to see today. Especially this moment. 

Seoyoen’s eyes are fixed on you. Harsh and cold. She’s still holding her glass of wine as she assesses you up and down. You groan inwardly. Now is not the time. You know why she’s here. Probably is looking for a fight. A way to take her edge out. And you refuse to become her victim. Refuse to give her the satisfaction. 

You turn your gaze away from her. Walk toward a sink. Completely ignoring her—or trying to do so. You make five steps toward your intended destination when Seoyeon’s voice echoes through the otherwise empty restroom. 

“Have you taken a pregnancy test?” 

You freeze. Your body goes rigid. A strange chill runs down your spine. You turn toward her slowly while your stomach starts to turn and twist again. Violently. 

“Huh?” You furrow at her.

Seoyeon looks at you with an exasperated expression. As if you’re the biggest idiot alive. Yet she doesn’t repeat her question. Instead, she elaborates. “We all know you and my best friend’s ex boyfriend,” She puts extra emphasis on the last few words. “Have been fucking each other like animals. So, have you used protection, Li?” She tilts her head to the side. 

The world around you slows down. Protection? No. No you haven’t. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck…

What if… what if…

No… No… you shouldn’t go there. 

It’s impossible. Seoyeon is trying to get a rise out of you. You’re on pills. 

“I’m on pills.” You manage to say stiffly. Almost take another step towards the sink. 

“Please.” She scoffs. “You can’t be that stupid now, can you?” Turns to her side, leaning her hip against the counter to face you properly. “Please tell me you’re old enough to know that there’s a chance.”

You know. You did know. But… it can’t be. 

You’ve seen people go through similar situations. Hell, you have even seen people get pregnant with tubal ligations. You know things can go wrong. But not for you right? No. It can’t be. 

Seoyeon steps closer to you as you don’t answer her question. “So you didn’t use protection?” She reads your expression. “Oh god, how stupid? And do you think that you're sick just because of this—”She gestures at you with her hand. “I don’t know—the situation? Because of your mixed up identities with Liya?” 

Yes. It has to be. 

You say nothing. Absolutely nothing as your blood starts turning cold. Every word Seoyeon says makes sense. Practical. There’s a chance. And you don’t want to admit that. Admitting it makes it real. This is not real. There’s no way. 

“C’mon, Li, you’re smarter than that. It’s better to be cautious than—”

“Why are you so concerned, Seoyeon?” You finally snap. “We both know you don’t give a fuck about me or what happens to me. What are you doing here?” You know she wants to fight. But this… you have never expected.

“I don’t. I don’t give a fuck about you.” She confirms what you already said. 

“Then why?”

“Because I want to see you lose one way or another!” She yells. Loud enough that you flinch. “Because it is not fair that you get a happy ending and I don’t—we don’t. It’s not fair that all of you get what you want. It’s not fair Taehyung cheated on me but he still has people coddling him to death. It’s not fucking fair that he has all of you and I don’t have anyone. So, I want to ruin it.” She grits her teeth. Okay, here you go. This is not exactly about you. Nothing to do with your relationship with her best friend’s ex boyfriend. She’s just lashing out her anger on you. Her pain on you. Pain caused by Taehyung. She chooses you because you’re the easy target. 

“I want to ruin it, Li. Because I’m so fucking jealous of you.” Her raised voice tunes down. She inhales a shaky breath. “I’m so jealous that you have everything I don’t. I’m jealous of Taehyung because even after everything, he has Jimin. I’m jealous that you have Jungkook. I’m so jealous you guys have each other and I- I don’t—” Her voice cracks. “Have anyone.” 

You take a deep breath. Exhales. Just to soothe the way your heart clenches painfully for her. The irritation you felt towards her earlier disappears. So do the claws of fears of any unwanted pregnancies. You don’t know what to say to her though. A sorry would mean nothing. You walk over to her. Lean against the counter next to her. Maybe you don’t have to say anything. Maybe she just wants to vent. Needs someone to listen. Or she just needs a punching bag. Maybe you can at least do that. Listen. Be the punching bag. 

“I didn’t want much, you know?” She carries on. Her eyes glaze over. She places the glass of wine away. “I just wanted someone who would truly care for me. Like truly truly care for me. Not like my family who always treated me good only when I did something that made them proud. Not like a friend who was friends with me because we both had no choice.” 

You furrow. Not quite understanding her ramble. Your brain is working hard to connect dots and make sense of the words she’s vomiting. Yet you don’t interrupt her. 

“But look at me now…” A scoff. “Isn’t that so unfair, Li?” She turns to look at you. Doesn’t wait until you answer. You’re glad. Because you don’t know what to say. “Isn’t that unfair that I don’t even have my best friend with me? I was there for her. I was there for her when we knew you were banging her boyfriend.” You don’t even try to hide the cringe. “I fought for her and I was there when Jimin ended things even when I knew she wasn’t exactly sad about losing him.” 

Well, that’s no news but it certainly does feel surprising to hear from Seoyeon. 

“I was there for her and I was happy even when I knew she started dating him only because I started dating Taehyung. Just because it was just another competition for her and she needed to get one with me.” 

At that, your eyes go wide. For the first time since Seoyeon started rambling, a question forms in your mind, “Wait what?” 

Maybe you shouldn’t take this moment as an advantage to pry into details that are none of your business. But those words spark your curiosity to no end. It’s a natural reaction to wanting to know more. Seoyeon, however, ignores your question. 

“I never—I never dated Taehyung for that reason. To compete with Liya. No, I genuinely liked him, loved even. I liked the way he talked, walked, laughed, fuck I even liked the way he flirted with everyone.” The tears that have made her eyes glossy finally roll down through her pale cheeks. You feel your eyes sting as well. Friend or not, nobody deserves this. Not her, not Liya. Yet you don’t know how to comfort her. “And guess what?” She wipes away the tears with the back of her hands. Looks at you. A real question. She wants you to guess what happened next. You stay quiet. So she tells you what happened. “Just months after I started dating him, Kim Liya started dating Park Jimin. Taehyung’s best friend. She even got him to ask her out instead of asking him, which is what I did. Because it was better and all she wanted was to win against me.” 

You lose a breath. She’s drunk. Very drunk. She wouldn’t be standing here, letting you know these secrets otherwise. She’s drunk and heartbroken. But you don’t know what else to do than let her talk and talk. “She started dating a man and was even ready to marry him just because she wanted to compete with you?” You’re walking on a thin line here. You don’t want to appear eager to scout dirty bits. You genuinely want to help her. 

“Funny, yeah? That someone would walk into that distance to look better than someone else. But that’s what we always did. Especially her. Me too. Our families—they wanted to raise a daughter better than the other family. So we competed on everything. Grades, looks, money, and even fucking men. But none of those were a competition we admitted to being doing or did out in the open. We always supported—or pretended to support each other. Be happy about each other’s achievements. Then we made sure we got something better than the other.” 

Fuck! The ache in your heart toward her simmer into a spark of anger within a blink of an eye. Compete to take something better than the other already had? Where does that leave Taehyung and Jimin? Seoyeon and Liya had made Taehyung and Jimin partake in a competition to be the better man, even without their knowledge. Sparks of anger poke at your insides. What if they’ve fallen into that vicious trap unknowingly? What if Jimin and Taehyung had started competing with each other as well? 

You force the thought to the back of your mind. That didn’t happen. They’re still strong. And none of it was Seoyoen’s fault either. Not entirely. 

“So that was it?” You decide to ask instead of being bitter about it. “Liya dated Jimin for five years just because you were dating Taehyung? Didn’t she ever grow up and realise that-that it was stupid and they both deserved better?” 

Seoyoen’s eyes have dried up. She shakes her head. “That’s more complex than that.” 

“How?” 

“There was this one thing that was different in our families. They were quite similar in their beliefs but my father was never obsessed with a freaking reputation like Liya’s father was. I mean of course my family thinks about it but Mr. Kim? He’s a lunatic. Ever since he found out that his newly wedded wife was pregnant with someone else's child. And it was too late to do something because of the fucking public image.” There’s such hatred in Seoyeon’s voice. So much that it awes you. “Everybody thinks that he’s the perfect father a daughter could wish for. Maybe he is if Liya was his own blood. But since she isn't, all he cares about is protecting his image. Nobody should ever know that he was an idiot who got tricked by a woman and had to raise someone else’s kid. For that, he hates Liya.” 

“That doesn’t make sense.” You push yourself away from the counter. Abashed. “He hates Liya? Why would he—I don’t know, give everything for her…He was so ready to pull out from RUN for her. I don’t understand.” 

Seoyeon doesn’t even take a second before answering. “He gave her everything because he had no one else to pass on his fortune to. After Liya, fortunately for her, Mrs Kim didn’t get pregnant again. So Mr Kim was stuck with Liya whether he liked it or not. And it would’ve been weird and people would have questioned it if he didn’t treat Liya like his blood. The very thing he was trying so hard to keep hidden. He’s just acting. That’s it.”

You suck in a breath. It sounds stupid. So so stupid. You refuse to believe that someone would be that obsessed with maintaining a flawless image that they’d walk into this length. But apparently, you’re provided with proof. Living breathing proof. And you’ve no other options but to believe. “Fuck, that’s so fucked up.” 

“It is.”

A moment of silence falls before you clear your throat, realizing that you’ve taken the point of the conversation away. “So…” You carefully thread through your words again. Curious. You’re fucking curious. “Why didn’t Liya ever give up on Jimin, if it wasn’t for competing with you?”

Seoyeon looks at you. For a long minute. As if she just realizes that it’s you who she’s talking with. You almost become convinced that she will not humor you anymore with more information when she shrugs. “My family wasn’t obsessed with reputation but hers was. I was allowed to date anyone I want. As long as he was a decent human being. Not a criminal or drug addict… and they loved Taehyung. He’s the perfect son in law my mom could wish for. Hardworking. Good looking. Funny. And he proved his worth by building the company…” A sigh. “But that wasn’t how it went in Liya’s family. All Mr Kim cared for was having a match from a perfect family. A good background. Financial aid. And loads of other bullshit, which Jimin didn’t have. He didn’t approve of Jimin…”

Another spark of anger sloshes inside you. 

“But for the first time in her life, Liya went against him. Because giving up on Jimin meant losing against me. She wasn’t raised to lose. So she fought so hard against his father–step father,” She corrects before continuing. “Until they came to a stupid agreement–”

“She made him give Jimin money, didn’t she? So, he could become the man her family wanted.” You grit through your teeth, feeling a headache forming at the boiling anger inside you. Yet to your utter surprise Seoyeon shakes her head. 

“No… Mr Kim investing in someone who’s not going to be beneficial to him in the future? Who’s not going to become a money printing machine? No fucking way, Li. No way. Mr Kim may be a prick but he’s also a genius businessman. He invested in Jimin because he saw what Jimin had. He knew Jimin was going to make it big one day. That he was going to bring him billions.”

You suddenly feel empty. Hollow. Anger yet again dissipating into ashes, then not so slowly transforming into a deep ache in your chest. Jimin believes he’s not worthy of what he has. He thinks the only reason he’s successful today is because he had a rich girlfriend who aided him financially. He believes that’s the only reason. 

You have to physically fight the urge to storm away to find the man, who’s probably worrying to death while you’re having this conversation. You’ll tell him. The moment your eyes meet him again. But you have to know the final piece now. You decide not to say anything to what Seoyeon just said. You bring back the same question again. “What was the stupid agreement they made then?”

“Kim gave her the green light to do whatever she wanted with a college fuck boy who had nothing,” She begins and you will yourself to calm down and not to strangle on her the spot for the choices of words she makes. “But…he also told her that Jimin’s going to leave her. That he won't be able to deal with her…” She searches for the correct word. “Imposing attitude forever. That he’s going to fall for someone with a different kind of fire. A fire that would keep him alive, not keep him fighting, fighting, and fighting. He bet that Jimin is going to fall for someone who would give him his hundred percent back. Who’d love him the way he loves. Because for a long time he was the only one who gave, in their relationship. It was just a matter of time until he grew tired and say fuck it. I guess you made it just easier for him.

“Mr Kim challenged his daughter to try and prevent it from happening. And if that ever happened it’d cause chaos–exactly like how it’s now. He was ready to consider that as a family disgrace, when that happened. Consider that Liya caused that disgrace and…there he got a reason to disown the daughter he couldn’t get rid of. There he has a reason to forfeit her inheritance to his fortune.” 

Your mouth goes dry. It becomes a struggle to find the words. “Fuck, so she played Jimin?”

“Kind of yes.”

No. Not kind of. She definitely did. And you have to let Jimin know. 

“I think she underestimated the situation. She didn’t try hard enough to keep him. She thought whatever was going on between you would stop once he got tired of your young pussy.” You cringe visibly. Seoyeon doesn’t. “She thought Jimin wouldn’t be stupid enough to lose his business, status, and wealth just for…” She gestures at you. You clench your jaw so hard that your entire face starts aching. Only if she wasn’t heartbroken. “Guess she was wrong, after all. Maybe… you have a magic pussy.” Seoyeon lulls. Reminds you that she’s drunk. The only reason why she just untangled a whole mess of a yarn of dirty history, in front of you. You out of all people. “And maybe that magic pussy is so pregnant.” She snorts. 

Just like that the earlier chill engulfs your body again. 

Fuck her for being able to mess with your mind that way!

“My life is so miserable, girl. So fucking miserable. Our lives are miserable.” She picks up her glass of wine again. Before you can speak or say anything she trudges toward the door. “Get that pregnancy test.” Says one last time as she disappears through the door. Leaving a stunned you behind. Not exactly knowing what to do or where to go. 

There is so much information. 

When did you have your last period? 

You don’t know.

Why can’t you recall it? 

Your mind feels foggy. Hazy.

You’ve been so nauseous the past few weeks. You’ve been so sensitive to smell. 

You can’t breathe properly.

Pregnancy….pregnant…

Both of your hands unconsciously grab your stomach. 

Could it be? Could you be?

No…Oh, god no… That can’t be… But what if it’s true? What if it’s true and you let Jimin know and–

“Spring roll?” You snap your eyes toward Jimin, who’s now standing in the middle of the women’s rest room. “What happened? What got you so long? What did she say?” He dashes to you. “I swear to god–”

“Oh, c’mon…calm down, Park. I’m fine.” You roll your eyes. Forcing yourself to smile. You don’t know what to tell him. You’ll surely tell him. Everything Seoyoen told you. How he was wrong to believe that he doesn’t deserve what he achieved. How wrong he was to think he was a loser. But not her first and last few words. At least not yet. Not when you don’t know how to say that to him. Not when it can’t be true. No. Of course, not. It’s not true. Seoyeon had been messing with you. She wanted to hurt you. She told you that much herself. 

“Are you sure?” Jimin’s voice reaches you from a distance. 

What would he do if you told him? Be mad? 

No… there’s nothing to tell. You have to stay calm. No need to panic. Because it’s not possible. 

“Yes.” You breathe. Shuffle his hands from your body just so you can curl your arms around his neck. “I’m a big girl, you know. I can handle myself.”

He says nothing. Despite your effort to lighten up the mood. Ease the tension–which is mainly coiling inside you, Jimin stays serious. Frowning. You rise to your tippy toes. Peck his pillowy lips. Once. Twice. Thrice. Until the lines of worry etching into his features slowly vanishes. He sighs. 

“I know you can, Spring Roll. But sometimes I just worry–because I–”

“I know the feeling.” You save him from the trouble. 

He nods. “I just love you.” Mumbles as his hands graze over your hips. You push yourself to the warmth of his body. Disregard the fact that you’re in a women’s restroom and nobody would be happy to see a man inside. No matter how ethereal he looks. You gape at him. Contours of his face. Slope of his nose. Amber eyes. Soft pink lips. A soft smile spreads across his face, turning those amber eyes to half moons. 

Isn’t he the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen?

A warmth shoots through your veins. Comfortable. Relaxing. The most relaxed you’ve felt for the past few weeks. 

“I love you more.” You whisper back, finding it’s easy to push back your worries away when you’re in his arms. Jimin responds to your words with a grin. A grin so wide that you can’t help but grin as a fool as well. He steals that grin with a kiss. Not a peck but a sensual languid kiss. Tongue dancing with yours and teeth grazing over your lips. A kiss that leaves you breathless when he pulls away. You sigh into his mouth when he does. “This party is boring, isn’t it?” Whimper against his breath. 

Jimin gasps. “J would be heart broken if you say that to her.” 

“She’d understand the situation when she sees your boner.” You push your hips onto his for more emphasis. Jimin hisses. Yet nurses his expression into a lazy calmness. 

“Ah, that’s nothing. It’ll go away.” 

Asshole.

You don’t let your face show any disappointment as you withdraw from him in a blink. “Whatever you wish, Park.” Turns around your heel and almost leaves when he grabs your arm and yanks you back. Arms wrapping around you instantly. Tight. You break into a fit of giggles. 

“My place?” Is all he asks. You take your time. After everything, it still feels wrong to do anything inside their once shared apartment. Even when Liya has moved out following their breakup. But then again, you’ve done worse in that place. 

You nod, muffling a moan as Jimin nibbles the skin under your ear. 

As long as you’re with him, it’ll all be okay. 

……………….

Silk bedsheet rumples beneath your palms. Your whiny moans fill the quiet apartment. Your back arches, pressing your perked nipples more into Jimin’s naked chest. It’s hot. You’re both covered in sweat. You don’t know how long he’s been rocking you into his mattress. Too long, probably. Too long that your brain has already turned into mush. All you can think about is pleasure. 

Pleasure that is leaking down between your legs while Jimin’s hard length pumps in and out of you. Pleasure that is coiling inside your lower stomach and makes your core throb. Pleasure that makes your sight hazy and makes you think only about Park Jimin.

This is what you wanted. This is the distraction you needed. Not just the sex. No. Park Jimin. He’s what you needed. None of the worries that have been draining you out of your life comes into your mind. Not when you can feel every rigid vein of his cock dragging along your walls. Not when his angry tip is repeatedly nudging against your soft spot. Not when his hot tongue is lapping against one of your hardened nipples. You gasp for the hundredth time when he gently bites on 

“Jimin…” You whine, bucking your hips up. He’s pleasuring you so well. Is fucking your brains empty. But still he’s going so slow. So torturously slow that this is nothing but a teasing. Like he always likes to do with you. Tease and tease until you can’t take it anymore. Right now you’re reaching that limit. You can’t endure this sweet torture anymore. “Harder please…” You beg. Probably the tenth time. He hasn’t given you what you needed at all. Just lazy strokes that is enough to keep you in a constant haze of lust. Just dripping and dripping. Wanting more and more.

Jimin pops your perky nipple out of his mouth. Gaze at your face. Smirks. “No.” Says sternly. “You’re sick, love. I can’t tire you more.” And he has an excuse. You know it’s not entirely a clever excuse but he’s actually worried. You can see that in his eyes, even through the teasing glint. But you’re no longer in any kind of discomfort. This is the best you’ve felt in weeks. 

“Please…”

“No baby, just take it, yeah?”

“I can-can….fuck…can take it, Jiminie…Go harder please.” 

“Can you now?” He raises a brow. Not changing his lazy strokes. “But I don’t want to—”

“Oh fuck, please, please, please…” You cry out. Your efforts in trying to get him deeper in you with your lifting hips turn null. “I can take it, I promise…Jimin…oh please, I need more…I’ll be good, hm? So good for you…” You blabber without knowing the insanity leaving your mouth. You just need to make him snap. 

“Fuck!” Jimin curses. “Are you that desperate?” Glint in his eyes dangerously brightens. 

“Yes…I-fuck it hurt, baby…I want you to go hard….please…” You whine with no care of the world about your words. “Want you to fuck hard. I want you to…” You gulp, words slowly dying in your tongue. You have to contemplate whether you should say the next  few words. 

Apparently, Jimin thinks you should. He doesn’t like that you hesitate. Not with him. “What do you want?” He halts his movements altogether. You cry out in complaint. He ignores that. “What do you want, Lil?” 

“Use me.” You blurt out before you lose the nerves. “I want you to use me. Fuck me so hard. Want you to fuck me—” That’s all it takes. You win. Jimin curses aloud. Closes his eyes for a second. As if looking for strength to go through this. Then he creates distance between your smushed bodies by shifting his weight to his hands. 

“Yeah? You want that? You want it hard? Like this?” He finally rams into you. Hard enough that your back leaves the bed. A shameful plea and a yes leaves your lips. “Yeah? What if I give it to you even harder? Would you like that? Huh?” 

You blink through your pleasurable haze. Nod. 

“Fucking slut!!! Yeah you like that?” Jimin asks again, going into his knees this time. Push a hand behind your back to lift your hips with him, preventing his throbbing cock from slipping out from you. Shoves a pillow behind you even before you can comprehend it. Then bends you almost in half. Legs pushed towards your chest. “Is that it? Want me to use you? You got it, Princess.” 

He stays true to his words. Drives you into a frenzy. No more lazy, teasing strokes. Just a wild pounding that gets your back arching and eyes rolling with each thrust. His hands explore your curves now and then. Squeezes your tits or holds your by your throat. With the exact right amount of pleasurable pressure. And the sense of time evades you together with the sense of reality. You are nothing but a ragdoll he mounts onto by the time your third orgasm washes over you. Leaving you shaking, moaning and spilling tears. 

“Jimin…” You cry out as he doesn’t even slow down for a bit. You’re surprised that he hasn’t already manhandled you into five different positions. But you know the reason for him to keep you just laid down. Even through his merciless pounding you can feel the care. The worry. Can see it through the sex haze in his eyes. 

“Yeah?” He answers your call. You fail to perform any more words, making him smirk. “Too much already?” Teases. You whimper. Body shaking as you place a weak hand on his chest. Just to get him to slow down. Jimin clicks his tongue. Yanks your hand away. “None of that now, baby. You asked me to use you. Huh? Didn’t you?” 

Oh fuck!

Your lower abdomen starts to tighten pleasantly again. The oversensitivity turning into blinding pleasure. 

“Please.” You cry out. Not knowing exactly what you’re asking for. Jimin’s smirk widens. 

“Fuck, you need more slut? This isn’t enough? Want to cream my cock again?” 

You don’t know whether you said anything to that or nodded but Jimin’s thrust turns deeper. Harsher. His eyes scanning for any discomfort on your face all the while. He finds none. 

“Yeah? You want that?” 

“Yes…god yes… fuck, Jimin…” You spill more and more tears. Throat sore and mouth dry after all the moaning and screaming you’ve done. 

“Fuck you look so fucking hot.” Jimin grumbles, bending down. Closing his face to yours. “So fucking hot baby. Can’t believe you’re mine.” Grunts. Beats a second staring into your eyes. Lost. Then tilts his face to the side. Tongue poking out. You gasp so loud when his tongue meets your skin. Licking away your tears. “Mine.” Whispers. “Aren’t you baby?” Asks. You only manage to nod. “Aren’t.” A harsh thrust. You mewl. “You?” Another harsh thrust. “Words, slut. Use your words.” 

“Y-yes…f—” You choke on your words. “Fuck… yes..” 

“Yes what?” 

“Yours. I’m yours.” 

“Yes!” He agrees, going even deeper if it’s possible. “Mine. My pretty slut.” 

“Your pretty slut.” You babble. Feeling your abdomen tightening, preparing for another high. Jimin feels it too. 

“Like that, princess…cum again…squeeze my cock. Gonna fill you up okay… you want that don’t you?” You can’t fathom any more words at the moment. Hence your nod. “Yeah? Want me to fill you up so good?” 

Another bob of your head. 

“Keep you so full of me?” 

More and more nodding. You’re going to fall over the edge. You claw at his back. Grinding your teeth together to keep your screams at bay. 

“Knock you up…” Jimin mumbles again. You almost nod without a care. Almost. Before an echo of a sweet feminine voice slams inside your mind. 

“Have you taken a pregnancy test?” 

Pregnant. 

You both—Jimin and you—liked the idea of breeding. A kink. Nothing more. But you’ve acted like it’s serious. Real. Like you’re actually trying to get pregnant. How many times has he come inside you? 

What if it’s become real?

Your body goes stiff. Stiff in a way you can’t hide it by any means. Your body locks up. The impending orgasm and pleasure ebbing away into nothing. And Jimin halts. Immediately. Sensing and feeling every little difference in your body. Expression. 

“Lil? Fuck, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?” 

His voice snaps you back into reality. He nearly withdraws from you when you hurry to keep him in his position. 

What should you tell him?

The truth?

No…no… there’s nothing to tell. He’d be so mad. So mad at you for being so irresponsible. It was you who had begged him to fuck you without protection all those months ago. True he had liked it and asked to cum inside you but you had reassured him many times that you’re on pills. If you’ve messed up, then it’s completely your fault. Jimin isn’t ready to face another problem. You’re not ready to face another problem. 

He has enough on his plate. You can’t just add more worries to that list. He’d be so disappointed.

Despite everything, you sometimes wonder what makes Jimin drawn to you. A young naive college girl—like Seoyeon and Liya always says. Putting the sex aside, you wonder what makes him love you. He has everything. He has figured his life out when you’re nothing but a young mess. You can’t see what he sees in you. And that scares you. A one mistake from you would be enough to make him realize that you’re not worth it. That he had been blind all this time because of—like Seoeyon said—a good pussy. Nothing more. 

And this…this could be that very mistake. You’re not ready to lose him. Not now. Not ever. 

“Spring Roll? Talk to me? Where-fuck-does it hurts?” Jimin cradles your cheek softly. You blink, forcing yourself to focus. Focus on the present. On him. “What’s wrong? Do you want me to stop?” 

You can’t lose him. 

“No…” You in the end, manage to blurt. A bit louder and rushed than you intended. “No, keep going. I-I’m fine. It was a…cramp. You know how it is.” Words taste like ashes in your mouth. You’re lying. To the person you love the most. It makes you feel terrible. But what can you do…

“Okay…” Jimin drags. Unconvinced. He knows you after all. Yet he doesn’t push you. He buys whatever bullshit you spew. “Then we should stop, Love. You don’t have to—”

“No, what? You didn’t even come?” 

“So what?” Jimin raises a stubborn brow. Challenging. You know he doesn’t care about his pleasure. But you do. You snake your arms around his neck.

“I want you to cum.” Say softly. Jimin shakes his head.

“It’s fine, Lil. We—”

“I need you to cum, Jimin.” Your voice comes out sternly. Good. “I need to feel you cum…inside me. Need to feel you filling me up, hm?” You start moving your hips. He has gone soft inside you. But your words paired with your movements get him stirring awake again. Slowly.

“Spring Roll…” He sighs. Frustrated. 

“I promise I’m fine, baby. I’ll use the word if it’s too much.” You whine. Like a toddler. “C’mon…fill me up…get me kno-knocked up.” 

Fuck!

This is scary. You don’t want him to fill you up honestly. But he’ll pick up the problem if you ask him otherwise. Besides, you are fine. You’ll be fine. 

Jimin groans. Watches you carefully. For a second and two. Then curses. “Fuck it…fine…but we’re going slow.” 

You open your mouth to protest but one warning glare from him gets you closing your mouth back. Jimin removes the pillow from under you. Throws it away. Places his hands on either side of your head. “You’d tell me though, wouldn’t you?” 

“Tell you what?”

“If there’s anything wrong. If there’s anything that bothers you. You would tell me right, Princess?” His eyes are glinting with genuine concern. You feel awful. Like you’re a snake. Yet you don’t know what else to say. So you nod. Give him a soft smile. Full of love. Fuck! Aren’t you such a bitch. 

Jimin mirrors your smile. Pecks your lips once. Then starts moving. Rocking. Gentle. Slow. Not teasing like earlier. Deep and hard enough to get you reeling and bring that edge closer to you again. Yet slow and gentle enough that it won’t tire you up. Or hurts you.

You let him. Let him take care of you. Slowly. Until your body trembles and you lose it one more time. Until his cock twitches inside you and he paints your insides with him. 

And you pretend that you’re fine. 

Completely and totally fine.

……………….

You’re a mess. An utter mess. Every second and every minute of your life lately has been a constant spiral of being scared and not knowing what to do about it. Hell, you’ve even started having nightmares. Some consisting of your family and Key. Some Jimin and an unborn baby. Yet you still haven’t gotten that test. Simply because you’re scared. Scared of knowing the truth. 

What you don’t know can’t hurt you, right? 

Fuck, but not in this case. Every day you pass without knowing, confirming… is a day that makes it too late. But…but…what if it comes out positive? What are you ever going to do? 

Jimin has been breathing down your neck for the past week. You’ve let him know everything Seoyoen has said. And it had gone as well as you had expected.  Jimin had gone through a roller coaster of emotions. Anger, despair and ending up with a strange relief. A relief that he wasn’t—shouldn’t be—feeling that guilty for what he did. 

You told him everything, of course, except for the part where she had asked you to take a pregnancy test. It’s not easy. Lying to Jimin. But still, after more than a week since you talked with Seoyeon, you don’t know how to tell him. You’re still afraid of his reaction. That had left you with nothing but lies. Saying you were fine over and over again. 

You know that you can’t do this for much longer, though. You’re not ready to know, yes, but…there won’t be any other way around. You’ll have to know. 

You clench and unclench your fingers while standing in front of the shelf filled with sanitary products. But your eyes are fixed on the various pregnancy tests that are assorted neatly next to them. You’ve wasted enough time. You’re going to do this. Right? Yeah… you need to—have to do—

“Watcha looking at?” Jungkook’s sudden voice startles you so much that you yelp. Almost lose your balance. Jungkook jumps to save you from falling face down. He pulls you back on your feet before letting go. 

“Fuck, sorry. Didn’t know you would be that fascinated with a packet of tampon to not hear me arriving.” He apologizes. Eyes crinkling up due to how hard he grins. You glare at him. You and he are on your weekly grocery trip, where you buy nothing necessary but end up spending your money anyway.

“I wasn’t fascinated with a goddamn tampon. I was just… looking.” 

“Yeah?” His eyes still gleam with amusement. “This is exactly like that time at the cottage. You were so fascinated with a stupid soda can, remember?” Jungkook rushes to imitate you. Something he’d never let go. Had never shut up about. You hiss while Jungkook starts acting like a fucking comic with his mouth agape, eyes narrowed and bent down. 

“Fuck you, Jungkook.” You show him your middle finger. He sobers up. 

“If you’re done examining that,” He points at a random pack of tampons. “I found your pasta…so can we leave. I have a game to play. Imma beat Taehyung’s ass today one way or another.” He takes the trolley. Starts walking away. You trail behind him, one eye still fixed on the pregnancy tests. 

You should buy it. You need to do this. Right?

Should you or should you not?

“Um, Jungkook…” You call out. He looks at you over his shoulder. “Do you remember me annoying your ass during my last period?” 

Jungkook halts, his mouth pursing. Then shrugs. “I don’t know, but you probably did. It has become such a normal thing, I don’t remember it anymore.” He shakes his head dramatically. Sad. As if you had made his life so miserable. You roll your eyes.

“C’mon, I’m not always that pissy during my period, you must remember it if I did something.”

You wish that isn’t the case. You wish Jungkook was right. You can’t remember having your last period. But it can be due to the stress. There’s one way to find out…

“You are that pissy. Remember when you tried to bite my head off because I kept the volume of the damn tv at 18 instead of 17?” 

“That was too fucking loud.” You huff. Following Jungkook toward the cashier. Wait patiently until he pays the bill. You want to believe him. Believe that the reason why you don’t remember having your period is because it hadn’t been anything special. But fuck you know you have such intense cramps. You’d remember it. Jungkook’d remember it. 

You missed your period. There could be many reasons but at the moment you can only think about one. You have to confirm. 

“Wait!” You come to an abrupt halt on your way back to the car. Jungkook, startled, stops in his way as well. You don’t wait until he questions your sudden halt. “I think I should buy some pads. I don’t think I have any left at home so…uh…gimme a second.” And you don’t wait for any answer in return. Just as the words are out through your lips, you break into a sprint. Right back into the super market. Back to the aisle that had kept you transfixed. 

You grab one of those hideous things. Then two. They say you need a second one. And a packet of pads for the display purposes. 

You’re doing this. 

……………………….

You can’t do this. You don’t have the courage. How stupid? You had done everything as per instructed on the package and on the internet. But now, you’re scared of looking at the plastic strip lying on the bathroom counter. 

Your legs are shaking. Mouth has gone so dry, you feel as if you’ve eaten sand. 

Fucking hell! You need to get your shit together. 

You’ve come so far. You’ve bought the test, you’ve taken it. All you have to do now is look at the results. You’re going to be fine…

It’s going to be negative. 

You force yourself to rise to your feet from the edge of the bathtub where you’ve been sitting. Opposite side of the bathroom counter. Farthest you can get away from the hideous plastic thing on that counter, in this little space. 

Ridiculous!

You take a step forward. Then another.

It’s okay, it’ll be negative. 

It’s going to be negative.

Another step. And another. One after one. 

Please be negative, please be negative. 

You scan your eyes over the plastic thing…

Please be neg—

Two red lines! 

Positive. 

Wind gets knocked out of your lungs so hard that you gasp. Tumbling forward. You have to grip the counter so hard to stop yourself from dropping to the floor. The test is positive. The thing you’ve been fearing so badly has come true.

You’re pregnant!

Fuck, fuck, fuck….

What are you going to do? What can you do? 

Would you tell Jimin? You have to…right? You can’t keep it a secret forever. Oh you can already imagine the disappointment in his face. He’s going to be so disappointed in you. And…and what if he doesn’t want to do anything…

No! He’d never. You know him. Park Jimin. Your Park Jimin. He can be many things, but not that type of a bastard. But…but he’d still be disappointed and mad. This’ll be his wake up call. Yes. He’ll realize how stupid it was to sacrifice almost everything for someone who’s naive like you. A dumb college girl who doesn’t even know how to be responsible about her own body…

The grip you have on the counter turns steel, making your knuckles white. 

Holy fuck! 

You feel like throwing up again. You have to calm down. Get a grip. And think this through. Well, it’s just one test. They always recommend taking a second one. Because the first can be faulty. Yes. You should do that. Tomorrow. You should take the second test. It’ll come out negative. This all would be a horrible nightmare and you’d be fine. 

Yeah, yeah, you’d be so fine. 

For now you’ll just leave this bathroom, have your dinner, pretend like everything is fine and then sleep. Come tomorrow morning, this nightmare will see an end. 

You muster the strength to straighten up, grabbing the used test in your hand. Almost throw it inside the bin when a knock sounds on the bathroom door. 

“Noona?” Jungkook’s voice follows the knock. “You done?”

Oh, right—you forgot he was waiting for dinner. It’s with guilt that you answer him. “Y-yes.” You hate the way your voice comes out shaky. Apparently Jungkook doesn’t pick up on that. 

“Hurry then, I have something for you.”

No… not now. Not today. This is the worst possible time to do this. Jungkook may bring you the moon and sun but you’ll still feel awful tonight. You can’t let him know that, however. 

“O-okay…gimme a second.” You shout out. Dropping the test in your hand in the bin nearly when something rings in your brain. The ugly monster of anxiety digging its claws of what ifs, deep into your brain. 

What if Jungkook finds this test?

What possible reason would he have to dig through the trash?

Who knows? There could be a reason. Like what if he dropped something important in the bin and had to go through it? What if he just noted it for no reason?

No. No, you can’t have that. You know you have to tell Jimin this. Positive or not. But not yet. And you don’t want anyone else finding out before that. 

Fuck your stupid brain! 

You shove the used test into your hoodie pocket as you walk over to the door. 

You’ll discard the test somewhere else. 

You crack open the door just for Jungkook to take advantage of it and barge inside. He immediately throws an arm around your shoulder and starts walking you out. 

“Where are we going?” You ask, confused.

“To the restaurant.” Jungkook seems to be in a good mood. Is grinning wide.

“Why?” 

“Ah,” He purses his lips. That grin disappears, leaving something akin to guilt behind. 

“Jungkook…” You call out for him in warning. 

“It’s not me, I promise. It’s J…she wasn’t happy that her last party was ruined and—”

“Please tell me there’s no party going on down there.” You stop. Frustrated. You can’t do this tonight. 

“I’m so sorry, Noona.” 

You sigh heavily, knowing that there would be no way around this. You’ll have to go down or they’ll come up here. “Fine lemme change my clothes.” You turn around toward the bathroom again when Jungkook stops you. 

“No need. It’s just us and you looking fucking gorgeous.” 

He grabs your arm. You try to protest but he drags you toward the door. Easily. 

You have to throw away the pregnancy test.

But Jungkook doesn’t give a fuck about your protests and little whimpers. 

……………..

Jimin stands up from his seat the moment you enter Kim's kitchen. Jungkook steps away from you, allowing Jimin to fill the space and gather you in his arms. 

“Hey Princess!” He kisses your brow first. Then pecks your lips. You relax in his arms a little bit. Not enough though. Not enough to forget the weight of what sits inside your pocket right at the moment. Certainly not enough to forget you might be pregnant. With his child. Yet you force yourself to smile against his lips. 

“Hello Mr CEO…” You breathe. Scowl. “Are you sure you're the CEO? How come you’re always hanging out with us? Don’t you have work?” 

“I am the CEO…that’s exactly how I’m here instead of working my ass off. Privileges.” Jimin wiggles his eyebrows. 

“Corruption.” You correct him. 

“Well can you blame me for wanting to check on my girl.”

“Your girl is doing just fine on her own. You don’t have to babysit her.” What a lie. 

“I also missed her.” Jimin outs. You open your mouth to remind him that he was with you yesterday as well when J grabs your attention. 

“Okay you clowns,” She starts, pouring a white drink into assorted shot glasses in front of her. “I just want to get fucking wasted tonight. Just drink all right. And let’s please have a normal night.” She picks up two—filled to the brim—glasses and walks toward you and Jimin. “I don’t want any drama. No breakups, proposals, engagement news, promotion news,” She stops in front of you. Eyes the room, ready to kill anyone who’d say anything else. “No anything…do you hear me? Even if someone has died, please wait until tomorrow to let us know. Imma fucking kill you myself if you ruin this night.” She shoves a glass in yours and Jimin’s hand. 

“Do you realize some of us have work tomorrow?” Hoseok sniffs his drink, reminding everyone that it’s indeed a random Tuesday night and this would be a bad idea. 

“So what, old man?” J huffs. “You can’t go through one meeting with a simple headache? God, why are we hanging out with these gramps?” 

Yoongi snorts. Cracks open a new beer can. “Agreed.” Says before taking a generous sip of the beer. You know he just wants to piss Hoseok off. And he succeeds when Hoseok starts scowling and rambling about how important his job is. 

You glance at your drink, ignoring the conversation in the room. You bring the glass toward your lips before catching yourself. You can’t drink, can you? You might be pregnant. And you don’t know what you’re going to do. Have no idea about the next step. But still, drinking might not be good. You slowly take the glass away from you. 

“All good?” Jimin worries from next to you. Eyes watching you like a hawk. He’s been asking that question ever since that night. After you’ve gone stiff mid sex. You’ve been telling him the same lie. Even though the burn, the guilt gets renewed every time. You’ve been lying to almost every person in your life lately, but when it comes to Jimin…every single word that leaves your mouth to deceive him, feels like molting lava on your tongue. Yet you do it again. 

“I’m fine, Park.” You roll your eyes. It’s not that easy to convince Jimin, however. He keeps checking on your face. So you sigh. “I just don’t want to drink.” You glance at your drink. “I-I don’t feel like—”

Jimin takes a glass from your hand, not even letting you finish whatever you are saying. “Then you don’t have to drink. Don’t drink.” He brings your glass to his lips as you watch. Downs it in one go. Scrunches up his face. 

“What the fuck is this?” Asks from Seoyoeon as he finally makes it toward the large table in the middle. You follow him. Pouting. He’s sweet. Park Jimin in love is something entirely else. And you’d lose it if he knew the truth. 

It’s a battle inside you to not clench your fists as you step toward the empty seat next to the one Jimin claims. Only for you to halt abruptly when Jimin grabs your elbow. You yelp in surprise at the sudden movement as he yanks you to him. To his lap. Your brain takes a second to process what’s happening before you half-turn on his lap to face him. Blushing. 

“What the fuck, Park.” You demand, scowling through your stupid blushing. Jimin’s face, however, is the picture of pure innocence. He blinks at you. 

“What?” Asks in surprise. 

“What are you doing?” You lower your voice. Wiggling in his hold while Jimin manhandles you in his lap to sit properly. Facing the table and others. 

“I’m keeping my baby close.” He answers you as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. You try to remind him that your friends are here. But fail. Miserably. His lips on your neck distract you, making you thrash in his hold. Soon breaking into a giggle as well. Yet he doesn’t stop. Keeps peppering your skin with little, sweet kisses until J yells across from the kitchen. 

“Yah!” Jimin stops and pays attention to the now furious woman who’s glaring at both of you. “I said no drama for fucks sake. And that includes no fucking in front of your friends. No live porn. Thank you.” 

“Why would you have to ruin that?” Taehyung whines. Pouts at J. You’ve had the pleasure of seeing him a couple times after his breakup. And you’ve witnessed how he turned better, and more himself each day. You’re glad. So glad. “That would’ve been fun to watch.” 

“Fuck!” Jin curses, rubbing his forehead, being the one who gets most shy about such topics. “Speak for yourself Kim Taehyung…nobody wants to see them having sex.” Taehyung shows him a vulgar hand sign. Jin ignores him. His attention fully lands on J who places a drink in front of him. It seems they’re not on good terms yet. But you swear that J lingers behind Jin for an extra minute and makes eye contact. Reads the longing in the older man’s eyes. Maybe tonight will be the night they have make up sex. You grin to yourself at the thought. 

“No but seriously Tae…” Namjoon quips, seemingly being done complaining how everyone, yet again, is taking advantage of his friendship and the restaurant. “It’s totally fine to be a voyeur but Jimin? Man….” He shakes his head. “Pick someone else…Isn’t Jimin like a brother to you?” 

Jin almost nods in agreement when Taehyung smacks his lips after taking a sip of the drink and shakes his head. “This—watching him fuck is totally nothing. We’ve done far—”

“Kim Taehyung!” Jimin shouts so loud that wince. He yet again interrupts the juicy story Taehyung once tried to tell you. During the camp. You turn around in Jimin’s lap, having your mind set to be perched on his lap for the entire night and giving up on fighting. 

“Okay, now I really want to know what you did, Park. You’re telling me that story one of these days.” You give him a look. 

Jimin pouts. “But there’s nothing to say.” Whines. 

“But there is…” Taehyung ignores Jimin’s glare as he speaks to you. “Because you said you love me, Li, I’m going to tell you the story one day.” 

You both ignore Jimin’s empty threats. 

…………………

Despite your strong belief that nothing would be able to distract you tonight from what’s inside your pocket, you find yourself thoroughly enjoying the night, by the time midnight rolls around. You find yourself bursting out in laughter. Not giggling. Not chuckling. Not grinning. But laughing. Laughing until tears escape your eyes and you can’t breathe. The plastic thing inside your pocket has gone far, far back in your mind that you nearly forget its existence. 

You’ve been having a good time. The best you’ve had after so long. Even take part in silly drunken games your friends play which they abandon rather quickly. And all the while still sitting on Jimin’s lap and occasionally scolding him when his touches turn a bit too tender. Not innocent. Or maybe not occasionally but all the damn time. 

Like at the moment. Your laughter–which is directed at Jungkook’s impressive imitation of one of his professor’s–dies out immediately when you feel the hand on your thigh inching higher. Angling toward the inner side of your thigh. A tender, teasing touch that gets your toes curling inside your shoes. Your own hand shoots down to grab Jimin’s before he can proceed any farther. 

“I swear to god, Park Jimin…” You hiss, trying your best to take a look at his face. He squeezes your thigh. You bite your tongue so you won’t make any embarrassing noises. 

“What are you gonna do?” Jimin easily frees his hand from your hold. Wastes no time as he snakes his hand inside your hoodie, touching your bare waist. 

“God, you’re such a horny, little…” You whisper yell. His movements halt. Eyes going a bit wider. 

“Me?” He gasps. “It’s not my fault that you can’t handle a simple touch from me, woman.” Smirks. “I mean I knew you were obsessed with me, but this much.” Shakes his head smugly. You glare at him enough to burn him down to ashes. Maybe he’s right. No, not maybe, he’s definitely right. A single simple touch from him is enough to get you squeezing your thighs and melting on the spot. But you won’t stroke his ego. Besides, who you two would be without the good old bantering. 

“Oh, yes.” You roll your eyes. “And you know what?” Raise your brow. Jimin mimics your action. Challenging. “I should move to a different seat since I can’t control myself around you. We should respect J’s rules, after all.” With that you rise to your feet. Fast. For a moment you think you win. Yet in the next you’re being pulled back into his lap. 

“Fuck,” Jimin curses above your squealing and giggles. “Sorry, sorry. My bad.” He pants, trying to hold you in his lap. 

“Too late.” You thrash and wiggle in his hold. Try to escape one more time. For a second time. On the third  you manage to get to your feet again. Just for a brief second. Jimin curls one of his arms around your abdomen as he yanks you to his body, and shoves the other one inside your hoodie pocket. Not on purpose. No. You know it’s an accident. Your unsuspecting, slow brain takes a millisecond to remember what’s inside. When you do, you stop your thrashing immediately. A warning alarm ringing inside your head. 

It all happens too fast. Or your body fails to keep up with your brain. Either way, you’re too late when you hurry to stop Jimin. By the time you grab his arm, he has retrieved his hand back out. With your secret placed prettily on his outstretched palm. You freeze. Jimin scowls at the white thing. Stares at it for too long. 

Cold sweat starts to trickle down on your spine. Your heart beats a mile a minute. You watch as his smile disappears slowly. You watch as the confusion on his face morphs into realization. Understating. 

Oh here you go. 

You knew it wouldn't go well but this is not how you’ve imagined it. You haven’t imagined it at all. 

You’re so fucked. 

A few more beats pass. And just as you think he’s about to say something, a second voice booms over your oblivious friends' chaos. “Is that a pregnancy test?” 

Both of your heads turn to Jungkook who’s sitting next to your chair. Now, you love Jungkook. In your own way. You really do. But at this moment, you want nothing but to slap him across his goddamn handsome face. Because right as the words leave his mouth everyone falls into a deafening silence. You don’t dare to look at anyone. Just sitting there on Jimin’s lap. Frozen. Yet you can feel the gazes on you. Your eyes start to burn, skin heating up. Embarrassing. This is. 

Not like this. Not in front of everyone. 

But of course, trouble doesn’t come in solitary. You suck in a harsh breath when Taehyung who’s been goofing with Jungkook peers over his shoulder at the test on Jimin’s palm. You’re not even surprised when he slowly curses. “Holy shit! Are you fucking pregnant?” 

You scurry to your feet. Jimin doesn’t stop you. His eyes avert from the test to you. Shocked. Surprised. Your heart plummets. 

“Is that why you aren’t drinking?” Taehyung muses again. Oh you can kill him. Both him and Jungkook. They need to shut up. You need to get away. 

“Give it to me.” You ignore Taehyung, stretching your hand toward Jimin. He does nothing. Just gapes at your face. Then back the white thing in his hand. 

“Holy fuck, that’s why you were sick.” Taehyung keeps going. As if he’s a detective cracking the last bit of his unsolvable case. 

“Give it back to me, Jimin.” You demand again. Body slightly trembling. You need to go. Before Jimin comes to his senses and gets mad at you in front of everyone.

“You weren’t looking at the goddamn pads this morning, were you?” Jungkook joins in again. Drunk. So fucking drunk.  Jimin turns to him this time. Eyes darting between you and him. Wondering. Thinking. Probably connecting dots. Adding two and two then getting a five. 

Fuck. Fuck this. Fuck him.

“Give it back, Jimin.” You snap at last. Bend down and snatch the test from Jimin’s hand right as the first tear rolls down your cheek. You waste no time looking at your friends as you turn around your heel and walk over to the door as fast as you can. Skin burning up with embarrassment. Heart shattering with all the emotions. Fear. Guilt. And everything in between. 

And the last voice you hear before you turn around the corner is Yoona’s as she says, “You three are fucking idiots.” Not Jimin’s. Not him calling after you. 

Of course he wouldn’t do that. Why would he do that?

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Then he was scared to death the day they launched their first game. But when that phase was over Jimin had thought the scary part of his life was over as well. Only if life could be that fun, though. After many years, Jimin had felt so scared for the first time the day he had thought you had to go back. The day he finally caved into his burning desires. The day he begged you to stay. Even though he still doesn’t know the answer as to why, he endured a restless, torturous night. Yet that wasn’t a type of fear that would crawl under his skin and cling to his bones. He was scared, yes, but if you were not to return again, Jimin would’ve still lived. 

But the fear he has felt when you fell down into his arms. Limp. Like a rag doll. His name barely audible on your lips.That was a kind of fear that made him shiver. Feel trapped. He had felt the way his heart beat slowed down. Had felt how it became hard to breathe. He wasn’t just scared to death. He feared for life itself. Yours and his. Because, for a fractured moment, Jimin imagined the coming days and years without you in them. And somehow he knew that, he wouldn’t be able to just live. No. Things have changed somewhere along the line. From that first day you woke up next to him and to the day he watched you turn into the color of pale snow, Jimin has forgotten about a world where you wouldn’t exist. 

So, of course, he was scared. Scared in a way he couldn’t even describe. He was going mad. Especially, since he knew running into a hospital wouldn’t probably do any good. He knew what happened. That was the only reason for him to isolate you in a VIP backroom thanks to Yoona’s help. It has been hard. Countless lies and begging. But he succeeded. Just to see things worsen. He had only left you alone for  a minute. To grab a wet towel because you were burning up. When he returned, however, he went into an empty room. You were nowhere in his sight. Nowhere. Just disappeared into thin air. And Jimin had gone feral. Like a wild animal. Could’ve ruined everything in his mad state where he started to look for you everywhere. Knowing very well that you must’ve gone back. Fortunately, there was Jungkook, who had arrived there late and was scared as much as Jimin, if not more, but still managed to keep things under control.

They’ve blurted blatant lies after a lie. Jimin had to physically restrain Liya’s mother from entering the room, claiming that her daughter didn’t want to see anyone. And in the end, he and Jungkook had won. Everybody had to leave the sick- as some of them thought- Kim Liya on her boyfriend’s hand. And to others it was you- Li- who they left with Jungkook. It caused more than one confusion and Jimin has been facing them ever since. Not that he answered any questions anyone raised, though. He successfully managed to sidestep all of them. Liya’s family, at least, had calmed down after they met Liya. And to Jimin’s great relief Liya had helped him- which was surprising- with a simple lie of saying she was dehydrated. Everything was solved. 

Except it wasn’t. Not for Jimin. Because he was still petrified. Dying inside. That fear that engulfed him the moment you vanished never ceasing despite all the chaos that went through. He was scared about the next day. Or in fact he was scared of the days after that. The fear of not seeing you again was so powerful it had reduced him into a deranged state.  

Hence, the reason for his unannounced visit to Jungkook’s place this morning. The reason for Jimin to pace in front of Jungkook’s main door until Jungkook had to threaten him with broken bones if he hadn’t stopped it. The reason why he is feeling like crying from the sudden relief as he finally notices the figure emerges through the staircase. As if he’s seeing the sun after a night full of horror. A night he didn’t know would end. 

Jimin stops abruptly on his track. A heavy breath of relief escaping his lips as you stop in the landing. A moment passes. Moment of where you two just gape at each other. Your pretty eyes widen in surprise. Glinting. A small smile slowly stretching on your luscious lips. Breathtaking. It’s like Jimin is caught in a spell. Slightly painful. In a good way, though. The relief he’s feeling almost hurts him. 

You break that spell first. Just as a shiver runs through his body.

“Jimin?” You mumble oh so softly. Unlike the last time he heard his name slip through your lips, this time it sounds real. No pain. And Jimin finally snaps out of his haze. All it takes for him is two long strides to reach you. Like a sudden storm. A breathless gasp escapes your mouth as he wraps his arms around your unsuspecting body. Pulling you into his chest. Arms tightly squeezing you. Molding you into his body. 

Oh, God, how relieved Jimin feels. He would never be able to describe this sensation in words. Just as he is unable to describe the fear he felt. Doesn’t know what he would’ve done if this moment never came. It came, though. His worst nightmares didn’t come true. You’re here. Real. He can feel you against him. Can feel your soft breaths against his neck. Can feel your heartbeat against his chest. Can feel your hands soothingly rub his sides. Yet, a little bit of that fear is still there. He absolutely doesn’t want to let you go. Is afraid that you’ll disappear. Literally. What if you just vanish and never come back. So, he holds you even tighter. Tight enough that you whimper. Yet you don’t complain. Just keep rubbing his sides. 

“I’m fine, Park.” Keep mumbling into his neck. “I promise, I’m fine.”

Jimin nods. Forcing himself to gather his shit up. Crying isn’t an option. Among many reasons why it would be embarrassing, the main reason is what suddenly interrupts his little moment of heaven. 

“All right, that’s enough. Move-” Jimin winces at the sudden voice of his dear best friend. To his great dismay, you pull away from his embrace. Looking at Taehyung with even wider eyes. Apparently you haven’t noticed him earlier. “- why the fuck do you guys act like lost lovers kind of shit?” Taehyung grumbles as he makes his way toward you. Only to gasp when you are suddenly yanked away from a Jungkook. Jimin can only roll his eyes in annoyance as Jungkook takes his chance to hold you against his body. “Yah! You too? Seriously, guys? What the actual fuck is happening?” 

No one answers him. You and Jungkook being too busy hugging each other while Jimin being busy not trying to act as a possessive prick. 

“You okay, Noona?” Jungkook finally lets you go. You nod with a soft smile. Turn back to Jimin. 

“What are you doing here?” Question innocently. 

Jimin doesn’t answer your question. Instead just walks over to you. Grabs your shoulders, ignoring the looming presence of Jeon Jungkook. It’s unfortunate that Jimin can’t steal you away. To a place where no one else exists. Since it’s not happening, it seems like he’d have to do with just this. “Are you really fine, Lil? Wh-what? You just diss-” Jimin shuts his mouth immediately, remembering that his best friend is not a part of this loop. 

“Disappeared?” Yet Taehyung butts in. “C’mon, you can say the word disappeared. Because that’s what happened.” He points a finger at a very confused you. 

This has been Jimin’s life for a day. No matter what he or Jungkook had said, Taehyung apparently wasn’t believing him. Of course, he wasn’t. And Jimin believes that J must have been the same kind of pain in the ass for Jungkook as well. 

“Okay, what are you doing here, Tae? You came to see me? You were worried?” You perk up disregarding Taehyung’s previous words. Good question. Jimin has been asking the same question from him all morning. 

Why the hell does he have to follow Jimin around? Why the hell can't he just let it go?

“No- I mean, yes. Kind of. Not like these idiots were.” Taehyung seems baffled by your sudden question for a minute before he composes himself. Gestures between Jimin and Jungkook. Jungkook tries to protest in vain when Taehyung finally manages to take your full attention to all himself. “I mean should I be that worried? Were you fucking dying? It looked like you were dying.” He takes a step forward. Jimin drops his hands down just to bring it up and pinch the bridge of his nose. 

Not again!

“You had a freaking heart attack and this idiot just-” Taehyung points at Jimin now. 

“It wasn’t a heart attack.” Jimin mumbles wearily more to himself than to anyone else. He’s been saying the same thing over and over to Taehyung. Which apparently doesn’t reach his dumb brain. Just like now. Taehyung doesn’t give a single fuck about what Jimin says. Continues with his rant, instead. 

“-took you to fucking rest. Like it was a stupid stomach ache. Who the fuck does that? And then, this other idiot-” This time it’s Jungkook who stands behind Taehyung’s finger. “Just barges in from somewhere and says it’s fine? Fine? What’s fucking fine?” Taehyung throws his hands in the air. Strongly resembling a child throwing a tantrum.

“I didn’t say it was fine. Like… ugh… what the fuck Tae… why the hell are you yelling?” Jungkook furrows his brows. Offended. 

“Can you please let this shit go Taehyung?” Jimin sighs heavily. Wanting nothing but his friend to just let him talk to you in peace. To know what happened. But of course, that’s not going to happen.

“No..” Taehyung shakes his head. Eyes comically wide. “Absolutely not. I demand to know the freaking truth. She disappeared dude.” His finger is pointed back at you. 

“She- what do you mean she disappeared?” Jungkook asks with a straight face. Much to Taehyung’s annoyance. His face falls. Gives Jungkook a disappointed glance. 

“Really? You’re still refusing? Still lying?” Raises his brow. 

“We’re not- Taehyung, are you hearing yourself? How can she just disappear?” Jimin really doesn’t wish to lie to his best friend. But this is not a situation where he can just say the truth either. Not that Taehyung would believe him anyway. 

“Yes, I am. And that’s what happened. She went inside the room and never came back? What did you do with her? Don’t tell me she jumped off a window or something?”

“I took her home later, I already told you.” Jungkook rubs his face frustratingly. 

“No, you didn’t. Stop lying Jeon. I was fucking there. And her mother didn’t recognize her. What do you have to say about-”

“Enough.” Your sudden loud voice makes all three of them jump on their feet. Jimin snaps his head toward you at the same time Taehyung closes his mouth shut. Swallowing down his words. You exhale loudly. Despite your sparkling eyes, Jimin can see how tired you are. Your shoulders slump. Something definitely happened. And all he wants is to know that. To make sure you’re fine. Well rested. His stupid friend doesn’t know when to give up, though. Jimin nearly turns around to grab Taehyung from his shirt and drag him away when you step toward the said man. “You want to know the truth? Here’s the truth-” You fold your arms across your chest. Jimin unconsciously scowls at your words. Wondering. Worrying. But also curious. “I am from a different world and every time I sleep I shift between two worlds. In fact I’m Kim Liya’s alternate version-”

“Woah, Noona.” Before Jimin can process and say something else, Jungkook does. Eyes wide and mouth open. You, however, just hold your hand up. Just carry on with your explanation.  “She and I can’t share the same space. So, anytime when anyone mistakes me to be Liya it puts me in pain. That’s what happened. There you go. That’s the truth you wanted. Happy?” Ask in the end. Taehyung just blinks at your face for a second. 

“I- I- you- I mean- I- you, what?” Then starts stuttering as if his tongue just got fifty knots. Scowls so deeply. Looks offended. Like he just realized he’s been pranked. “Are you kidding me? Li? Do you think this is a fucking joke?” Finally composes himself. Jimin watches the way Taehyung’s expression morphed into a one of hurt. Yet before he can say anything you shrug. 

“So, you don’t believe me? I knew you wouldn’t. That’s why they haven’t told you anything. Because you wouldn’t have believed it anyway.” With that you finally pay your full mind to Jimin. Ignoring still very stunned Taehyung and a very impressed Jungkook. Even a small smile appears on Jungkook’s face. Well, what can Jimin say? That was a smart move after all. You’ve shut Taehyung up for good. And with the truth. It’s no one's fault that Taehyung isn’t believing it. 

“You okay?” You ask from Jimin instead. Funny. He should be the one asking that question. He scans your eyes for answers. Heart painfully clenching. The fact you are here, dawning upon him again. The fact that this would have not been his reality dawning upon him. How worse it could’ve gone. 

Why was he so scared anyway?

Why is he still so scared?

Why does he feel like he’s hanging by a loose thread? Like the thread is about to snap. Like it’s about to end. 

Why is he so afraid of losing you? What has changed? What’s causing this strange pain inside him?

“Jimin.” You step forward when he doesn’t answer you. Your eyes roaming over his features. Jimin feels your warmth as you step closer and closer. Stopping right before him. Waiting patiently till he answers. He doesn’t know how to. He most definitely is not okay. But why? You’re here. And all he wants is to hold you. Hold you close. Never allowing you to go. He just doesn’t want you to go. Anywhere. 

Oh, fuck!

This is not normal. He feels like he’s about to burst. From a feeling he can’t quite decipher. 

You look so vulnerable. Tired. There’s this insane urge inside him to protect you. But then what if he couldn’t? What if he failed? He has failed you just more than once already. What if he does that again? How could he forgive himself if that is the case? Then again, why can’t he forgive him? What’s so special? What are you doing to him?

A small shudder ripples through his body. Jimin forces himself to swallow the knot that is forming in his throat. Wanting to know what’s really happening. Yet as he opens his dry mouth all he manages is to repeat the same old shit. “You disappeared?” He mutters the obvious, stupidly. Closes his eyes. Reopens them. “Wh-what happened baby? You- uh I mean, did you just go back? Like how normally it happens?” Asks at last. And all you do is just gape at his face. A minute passes. Then two. Three. After what feels like an eternity you sigh heavily. Then shake your head slowly. 

“I- don’t kn-know… I don’t remember. I mean, just a voice… that’s all I can recall.” 

Now it’s Jimin’s turn to just gape at your face. Not knowing whether this is good or bad. Jungkook is the one who pushes forward first. Grabbing your shoulder and turning you to face him. 

“What voice? What do you mean? What did it say?” Showers you with a trail of questions, which Jimin thinks fair. Another sigh escapes your pretty lips. A moment of hesitation passes before you shrug. 

“That this is the beginning of the end.” A laugh which is very dry leaves your throat. A failed attempt to ease the tension. “That doesn’t make any sense, you know.” Add. Nobody joins you in laughing. Doesn’t agree with you. Hell, not even Taehyung does so. 

And the loose thread Jimin is hanging onto snaps. Making him drop into a pit with such a force that he feels like all his bones get cracked. Crushed. Pain shoots across his body. Starting from the chest.

No.

No. That can’t be right. Surely, he didn’t hear you correctly.

Beginning of what now?

How’s it already the end if he hasn’t even started it yet. What are you even talking about? What end? 

What does that even mean?

Well, he knows what that means. Oh, yes he knows. He’s been scared for a reason after all. He might not know a reason why but as you slowly turn around to face his frozen figure again. With your eyes dull and mirroring the same fear Jimin is feeling despite the smile on your lips, he doesn’t care for a reason anymore. Just because one thing is certain. He just doesn’t want to lose you. And he will not let that happen either. 

No one is going to steal you. 

Not when he just had you. Not even after ten years together. No. 

You are his. Jimin tries to respond to you with something. Fails. Not because of his incapability, but because your fake smile suddenly drops and you clutch your stomach tightly. Face twisting with pain. 

“Oh fuck!” You curse loudly before storming inside Jungkook’s apartment. 

…………………………

You wearily watch Jimin pacing around Jungkook’s living room. He is driving you mad with all that pointless energy wasting but you find yourself incapable of stopping him. There are much more pressing matters at hand. Because of course there are. And partially, you understand him. To say the least, Jimin looks simply terrified. Maybe even more than that. You’ve watched him grow pale as you state what you remembered.Then you’ve watched him turn into an overprotective father the moment he found out you were sick. You don’t even consider yourself sick—it’s just an upset stomach. You’ve been throwing up intermittently for the past day and Key has already dragged you to see a doctor. And he assured you the symptoms will disappear within the course of a few days. Jimin doesn’t buy that, however. He’s worrying too much. That leaves you with the question why? 

See now, you think you have all the reasons in the world to be scared to death. This is your life after all. Turning into dust apparently isn’t a good thing to look forward to. So of course, you’re scared. You have been ever since you opened your eyes in your bed. Drenched in sweat. Feeling nauseous. Then besides the fear of turning into dust, there’s the fear of everything ending. That fear has never left you to be honest. Since the very day you met that grandpa-kid, you’ve been scared. Scared of losing everything. It’s only that you’ve left that inevitable problem to the future you. This is that future. That problem has come to confront you face to face. And you have no place to run or hide anymore. But above everything, with you knowing undoubtedly that you like Park Jimin, that fear is gripping you like a vice crushing bones. 

When this ends- if this ends- you’ll lose him. 

When this ends- if this ends- you’ll never see him again.

Park Jimin will be just a memory.

And you feel your throat constrict at the thought. Eyes involuntarily starting to sting. You avert your gaze away from Jimin to collect yourself. This isn’t a time to be emotional. Swallowing down the knot in your throat you turn back to the man who’s still pacing around like a headless chicken. 

He’s so worried. Looks like he is about to slam his head into a wall. You’ve never seen him that worried. 

But why? What’s his reason to be scared this much?

True, he was worried the first time you thought this would end. True, he was the one who asked you to stay. True, he is still seeking you around. But to be that worried? It can’t be simply because he cares for you. Can it now? Can-

“Will you fucking stop walking around? I’m gonna throw up too! You are making her feel worse” Jungkook’s voice breaks your gloomy trail of thoughts. You snap your head to find him emerging through the kitchen with four coffees in his hand. Jimin stops his pacing as well. Scowling at Jungkook. 

“Then go ahead and throw up.” Says before he starts it again. 

“For fucks sake!” Jungkook grumbles. Yet ignore Jimin as he hands over a warm cup of coffee to you. You accept it gratefully. There’s only a few things you can stomach these days. Coffee is one of them, fortunately. He places the rest of the cups on the coffee table before sitting next to you on the couch. “He needs to save his energy to think. Not walk around. Ugh- fuck I’m getting a hedeache.” 

You snort softly at the way Jungkook grabs his head with both hands. Dramatic. But also he states a fact. Jimin needs to stop. 

“That’s not going to help Park. Can you please sit down?” You sigh as you place your sweet cup of coffee aside. Jimin halts for a second. Then eye you as if you’re stating something funny. Yet to your surprise he drops into an armchair after a heavy sigh. A moment of silence passes.

“So..” Then he starts. 

“So?” You question. 

“So, are we gonna sit here and drink coffee like nothing happened?” Jimin snaps suddenly. His eyes avert to Jungkook from you. “I thought you cared about her?”

“I fucking do.” Jungkook gasps loudly. Offended. 

“Oh, yeah? Then what? The best you can do is make her coffee?”

“I at least did that. What were you doing?”

Jimin opens his mouth to counter. His brows pulled together. Almost stand up again when you groan. “Neither of you are helping.” You drag a palm across your face, frustratedly. They both try to say something at the same time which you stop yet again. “Besides there’s nothing to be so panicked about. I’m pretty fine.” A lie. You’re not okay. But you want Jimin to calm down. Want Jungkook to stop worrying. “That happened because people thought I was Liya. As long as that won’t happen again, I’m sure I’ll be oka-”

“Okay? Are you kidding me Lil? You’re not fucking okay. You freaking disappeared.”

“Exactly! And how can you be sure that it won’t happen again?”

You blink at Jimin’s face for half a second before doing the same at Jungkook’s. Weren’t they so opposed to each other a minute ago? Now they are on the same side?

“What about the voice you heard?” Jimin states again. Followed by Jungkook’s sharp voice. 

“You gonna stay hidden or something, Noona? It is going to happen.”

 “It is. And what the fuck am I going to do if you just disappeared and never returned?”

Jimin practically yells through his lungs. And your heart skips a beat. No. No, that’s not the right term. That’s not a skip. Your heart stops. Entirely.  Just as how your lungs stop working as well. Just as how everything falls into a deep silence. Leaving you to gape at his face with round eyes. 

What?

Why would he have to say it like that? With that quivering tone. With that damned look in his eyes. As if you’re all he has. 

You keep staring into his eyes. He does the same. Just staring into yours. Completely speechless. That knot in your throat is starting to reform. A pain that is not physical, growing in your chest. You already like him. A lot. But when he’s looking at you that way. His eyes are glossy. Like he wants to hide you away, it makes you realize that maybe it’s not that you just like him. Maybe you’re too deep in this mess. Yes. You are. You are no longer just falling. You’ve already fallen. You just don’t like Park Jimin, but you love him. Of course you do. And you don’t want to leave him. It doesn’t matter how he might feel. Even if he doesn’t feel the same and looks at you that way for no reason, you don’t want to leave him. 

Because you love him. 

You are in love.

You inhale a shaky breath. Still staring into his glossy eyes. Not finding a way to break the sudden charm. You don’t even realize that everyone has gone uncomfortably quiet. It’s like nothing exists at this moment. Just you and him. Until a sudden cough- which suspiciously sounds like a scoff- erupts next to you finally breaks the spell. Making you turn your head toward the person who made the sound. Jungkook stands up from the couch just as your eyes land on him. 

“I need another coffee.” He mumbles softly, picking up his obviously still full cup of coffee. Yet before completely turning away and leaving he looks at you. Face completely void of any emotions. “That voice probably belongs to someone who pays you those visits sometimes, you know. Like that Halmeoni or that kid. Maybe we should try and find them.” Says aloud this time. As if nothing just happened. As if Jimin hasn’t just said he can’t live without you. Well, there’s a possibility that what Jimin said wasn’t that. Nobody except you must have seen anything in his eyes. You clear your throat awkwardly. Trying to shake off the tingling sensation you’re feeling. Trying to act as if your stomach isn’t full of butterflies. 

“Yes. Yes. That’s it.” Luckily for you, Jimin shouts as he jumps into his feet. Almost startling you a bit. Both you and Jungkook pay your attention to the man who suddenly appears as a kid who found their lost ball. “Why didn’t we think about that earlier?” Questions. Those damn eyes of his turning into crescents. To see that makes you strangely calm. You look at him with wide eyes. Then slowly turn your gaze to equally excited Jungkook. Uncertain about what they are talking about.

“Wh- what do you mean?” You question from no one specifically. Jungkook is the one who answers, however. 

“Well, they- whoever these people are, they know what’s exactly going on and you can ask them. Like haven’t they told you that you have a year? It doesn’t make sense that you’re suddenly in pain when you have a whole year to go. You- we have to ask and find what’s gone wrong and find a way to stop it from happening again.”

“We know what went wrong. People mistook me for Liya. That’s what happened.” You point out the obvious. 

“Yes but there should be a way to stop that from happening again.” Jungkook shrugs. Making his argument firm.

“But ho-” You start to raise questions but are silenced by a Jimin who suddenly kneels in front of you. 

“We can find a way Lil.” Mutters gleefully. Grinning from ear to ear. And you know he is not talking about preventing another incident. He’s talking about what you wanted as well. A way to stay here. A way to be greedy. There comes that feeling again. Your stomach is fluttering and heart skipping beats. He wants you here. Just like he wanted you here all those months ago. 

You know it’s not that easy. That it won’t be easy. Even if it works. If you find a way to stay here, what would that hold for your future. Will you keep shifting between two worlds forever? Or will you have to make an ultimate choice and choose a one world? Then what? What about your world? What about the life you’ve built? Will you give up on everything? True, that you always wanted this life but now when you think about it, it doesn’t seem easy. Yet the man before you, kneeling. Peeking at your face with such an excited look in his face, makes you forget the rest of the universe. Or every universe. For now, you just want to agree with him. Want to believe that there's a way that everything would be solved with everyone being happy. A happy ending. 

Your happy ending. 

You nod softly. “Yeah? I mean yes. Uh- but how?” You chew inside your cheeks to keep yourself focused. Not to let your mind go astray. 

You want to find a way. No matter what. You just want this life. This life with Jimin in it. So, you have to focus. 

“Do you remember anything they might’ve said that can help to find them?” Jimin asks again. That excitement never leaving him. You purse your lips thinking. Eyes briefly wandering to Jungkook since he was there with you the first time when the old lady visited you. There’s a chance that he might remember something you don’t. You find him already staring at you, gnawing on his bottom lip. For a minute you think he looks hurt. But then he turns his gaze away. Suddenly finding interest in one of the pictures on his wall. So, you go back into torturing your brain for something you’ve missed. Only to come up with nothing. Empty. 

“I don’t think so.” You shake your head in defeat. “Kookie?” Look at Jungkook expectantly. Just to be disappointed when he shakes his head as well. 

“I don’t think she mentioned anything else besides warning the shit out of you. And threatening to wipe away my memory.” 

Jimin exhales loudly. Gets back into his feet. “There must be a way though. If they can find you, that means they are around here somewhere.” Mutters more to himself. 

“Well it’s not like they are both from this world. I mean I met Halmeoni in this world but that kid was from my world. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack. How are we ever going to find someone who just appears and disappears whenever they like?” You bring out a fair point. 

“Yes but what if you’ve met more than those two?” Jungkook perks up again. Raises one of his brows. You just gape at his face confusedly. Jimin questions him on your behalf.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, there’s a possibility that there are more people like them. It sure can’t be just two. What if Noona has met them without realizing they’re like this- uh- same mysterious creatures?” Jungkook explains with a little edge. You know he’s not certain for himself. Yet that seems like a good point. “Maybe you’ve met someone who you know how to find again and also someone like that Halmeoni.” He adds. “Think about someone who has talked to you like they know something…maybe. Or someone that makes you feel that sensation you know, the one you get when something strange happens.” Tries to make sense. And you get him. Only that nothing comes to your mind. You fumble for an answer. Trying to think hard for an occasion where something like that happened. But before you can even start to process. Jimin lets out a soft noise. 

“That old woman!” Then he exclaims loudly. Eyes wide and looking at you with a knowing look. Clearly expecting you to know what he’s talking about. You don’t. You have no single cue. 

“Wh-what woman?” So, you furrow your brows. 

“Ice cream cart?” Jimin tries again. “Namiseom Island?” And it hits you. You know exactly  what he is talking about. “I don’t know Lil, I felt damn strange. Like-”

“Like she knew something she shouldn’t.” You complete his sentence excitedly. Jump into your feet. You sure did feel strange. Especially when she talked about how short life can be. You have decided she’s been talking about life in general. Because, in a way, a human lifespan can be considered to be short. Or long. People will always think about the odds of dying tomorrow. Until this moment, you have thought that’s what she had meant. But what if she hadn’t? 

“Who’s this woman in talk?” Jungkook butts in. Confused. Just to get ignored when Jimin hurriedly turns around toward the front door. 

“We’re going now.” He states as he walks. You try to protest. In disbelief that he wants to go search for that old lady right at the moment. Before you can do it though, Jungkook starts following him.

“Well, I’m not just sitting back here.” Even walks past Jimin and already grabs his jacket from the coat rack. You roll your eyes in annoyance. They can be quite dramatic when they want. Almost follow them outside when you suddenly remember the fourth person in the room. Who has been awfully quiet the whole time. You turn around to find Taehyung sitting cross legged on the mattress on the floor. Your makeshift bed. His mouth is open and brows pulled together. Bewildered, to say the least. Giving you all a ‘what the hell look’. Poor guy. 

“You coming too Tae?” Yet you ask anyway. A beat passes where Jimin and Jungkook turn to Taehyung as well. Then Taehyung just shakes his head. Slowly. 

“Which doctor should I consult? It can’t be that all three of you are losing your minds. I’m pretty sure I’m the one who’s crazy.” Declares in the end. 

…………………………

Empty.

The entire street is empty. 

Strangely, no one is walking down the beautiful lanes beneath the ginkgo trees today. Even when the weather is nice and bright. But that’s not what your concern is. Who cares if everyone in South Korea has decided to never visit Namiseom island again. No. You wouldn’t have cared even if half the population on earth has vanished. Your only concern is that where the ice cream cart once stood, there's now nothing. Empty. Not even a trace. 

But it was here the last time you visited. 

It was. You are certain. Now it is not. It’s a good thing that Jimin was there to bear witness. Otherwise you would have appeared crazy. 

“Fuck!” Jimin curses slowly as he steps forward, breaking the perfect line you'd formed with Jungkook and Taehyung. The latter has joined you in the journey to Namiseom Island despite his lack of faith in all of you. And now while Jungkook is sporting an expression of disappointment and again worry, Taehyung looks like he’s about to have a nervous breakdown. Well, it’s too bad but you have other problems to deal with. So, you follow Jimin close by. 

“Maybe, we came to the wrong place. Maybe it wasn’t here. We should take a look around.” You know it was exactly right here. There’s no way you would mistake it. Yet you suggest for the sake of it. As desperate as you are, Jimin doesn’t even waste a millisecond before he is nodding violently. 

“Yeah. Yes. We should.” There’s that crazy look in his eyes again. Worried. Hurt. Scared. Makes you want to hold him tight. But he is already walking away. Leaving you with no option but to go after him. That’s how you find yourself walking around Namiseom Island like a bunch of fools. To end up finding nothing. Just like you expected. 

And all you feel is despair. A tightness coils in your chest as you sit on a bench. Wedged between Jimin and Jungkook. Staring into nothing. You feel nauseous again. 

“At least that proves, she was exactly the one we should meet.” Jungkook mopes. Jimin lets out a bitter laugh at that. You think it’s ridiculous. Considering how excited and happy you were when this idea popped up in Jungkook’s head at first. Now you all look like deflated balloons. Except for Taehyung, of course. 

“Or… she just moved her ice cream cart away. That's the whole freaking purpose of having a vendor cart. You move that shit from place to place.” Taehyung retorts. Standing in front of the bench you are sitting. Covering all of you in his shadow. He looks comical now trying to prove his very valid point. 

“She was too old to do that.” Jimin mumbles wearily. 

“So what? It’s not like she doesn’t have a family or something. Someone might have helped her. And you guys-” He stops abruptly. Then sighs. “You know what? If this is a prank, it’s awesome. You got me.” Laughs very awkwardly. “Now you can stop.” His tone almost turns into a pleading. 

You feel a headache forming. This is absolutely absurd. Taehyung can be very much correct. Despite all the unbelievable things happening in your life, this old woman can be just another innocent human being. You can’t even believe you’ve driven all the way up here just because of a wild suspicion. It’s not too late to turn it back, however. You should just get the hell out of here.

“I need to find her.” Jimin blurts suddenly. Making every head snap into his directions. 

“Huh?” Taehyung furrows his brows so deep that it looks like it’s going to be carved into his forehead. 

“I need to find that old woman no matter what.” Jimin clarifies this time. No one says anything. You mirror Taehyung’s expression now. Confused. “I don’t care how Tae, just.. Can you ask Mr. Dong? Can’t ask Emi. She will rat me out to Liya and you know the rest of the story.” Jimin continues at the silence of the rest. Mr. Dong is Taehyung’s secretary. You’ve met him during your time at the R.U.N. A good man. 

“Holy fuck, dude!” Taehyung exclaims with an exaggerated drop of his shoulders. “Tell me you’re joking.” Rubs his face. 

“No. I’m not.” To much of his dismay, Jimin states firmly. Gets to his feet. “I just want to find the woman Taehyung-ah. Just help me will you?” Grabs Taehyung’s shoulder. “Please.” Adds. 

“You want me to make my secretary work his ass off to find an old woman who we don’t know shit about?” 

“Yes. And pay all he wants.”

“Gosh, this is damn ridiculous. I-I-”

“Please. C’mon, I’ve done far worse shit for you.” 

A silence falls over. You and Jungkook are watching the two friends who are gaping at each other. To be honest, you think Jimin is being ridiculous as well. That’s just too much. Yet just as you are about to point that out. Taehyung gives up with a heavy sigh. 

“Fine. To hell with it.” Then he eyes you. “This shit better be worth it Li.” Says. 

…………………

At first, you tried to convince Jimin that he shouldn’t go to that length to find an old woman. There was a possibility that all his effort would come to nothing. But Jimin was Jimin. He didn’t listen. He didn’t give a fuck, to say the least. Then as you finally agreed with him, you slowly started to wait for the news. For anything. Something. You would text him every morning as the first thing as soon as you woke up in his world. And every day you received a negative response. Which passed on to Jungkook when you went home. 

The days slowly passed by. One by one. For everyone’s - or at least Jimin and Jungkook’s- pleasure, you didn’t have any awful- as they call- heart attacks. You were doing fine. Day by day, you’ve recovered from having to endure such pain. You suspect the upset stomach you got was mainly due to that than anything bad you ate. Yet with the days, you became normal again. Living your best possible life in two different worlds. The day at the gallery and the incident is slowly starting to fade into the memory. Life is slowly settling back onto a normal track where you are simply struggling with unemployment. 

Just like now. “You can come back to the company, baby.” Jimin whispers into your neck. You’re alone in Kim’s kitchen. It has become such a normal thing for your friends to take advantage of Namjoon’s restaurant. It doesn’t matter how much he would complain. As for now, you are in charge of making Anju for the night. Nobody assigned you. You have volunteered. And just a few minutes after you entered the kitchen, there was Jimin. Right behind you. 

You don’t get to see or meet Jimin at all these days. Just a few sneaky meetups are all you get. You find it insane how you miss him every day. How you long for him. You would never tell anyone but you’re always looking forward to Taehyung or Hoseok to just barge into Kim’s restaurant. Because by experience you know Jimin would be there too. Like now. 

You try to step away from his hold. Not because you want to but because you’re afraid of someone walking in and witnessing this. You don’t even know how Jimin manages to sneak in after you. Jimin doesn’t allow you to step away from him. He tightens his grip while whining. “Please. I missed you.” Hides his face in your neck. Is hugging you from the back. 

“What if someone comes in?” You hiss. Eyes darting between mixing up your peanuts and the door. 

“Let them.” Jimin mumbles again. His soft breath kissing your neck as he speaks. Melting you against him. It’s really hard not to give into his warm embrace. Especially when he gives you a gentle kiss. Right into your pulse point. “I don’t care. Just miss you.” Another kiss. You shiver. Close your eyes. Reopen them and give in. Just lose yourself in his familiar soothing scent. Allowing yourself to feel relaxed. 

“Me too. I miss you too.” Admit. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm.” You sigh as Jimin starts to rub your stomach soothingly. You let your head fall back into his chest. 

“Then come back to work, princess.” Thousands of tingles shoot across your spine when he slowly sneaks his hands inside your t-shirt. “You know everyone will love it if you do. Come back, hm?” His words almost don’t reach your ears. You are slowly falling victim to his trap. Even your breathing is turning uneven. Who can blame you, though. You really do miss Park Jimin. Everything about him. His soothing touch to his breathy voice. Of course, you’re losing your mind on him. And to make things worse or better he starts drawing mindless patterns across your stomach. Making your skin pebbles under his touch. Making you tremble. All the while slowly kissing your neck and jaw. Inhaling your scent. Keeps dragging his fingers across your skin agonisingly slow. Up and down. Down and up. To your sides. Then down toward your waistband. Plays with it. Dips his hands inside. Not all the way down but just a little then pulls out again. You bite onto your lower lip to suppress the moans that are about to slip out. “Lil? Come back?” He groans in your ear, reminding you that you haven’t answered his question. 

Oh yes, the question.

You straighten up like an arch. Trying to collect yourself. This time manage to step away from a slightly surprised Jimin. Turn around to face him. You give him a stern look just to earn a pout in return. 

“Oh, c’mon! Don’t be a stubborn goat, lady.” Whines. You gasp in feigned offense. 

“Goat?” You absolutely love it when you two would start bickering out of nowhere. Remind you of the old days. He’s always regarded you as a stubborn goat, hasn’t he? 

“No. You’re a stubborn donkey.” He says with a stern face. Places his hands on his hips. You gasp again. Louder this time. Yet before you can counter back he starts scolding you. “You fucking need a job, Lil. Why can’t you just take back your old job when the freaking CEO offers you the position himself.” 

You roll your eyes. He’s been asking you the same thing for weeks now. 

First time was the day after you returned from your failed trip to Namiseom. He made an unannounced appearance in front of Kim’s in the evening. Asked you to come out. That was the first day you’ve felt like a real mistress. Sneaking out inside his car. Like a sleazy fox. Just to share a stolen moment of breathless whimpres. Laying in the backseat of his car while his cock was drilling in and out of you. His possessive bites decorating your skin in purple marks while you stained his expensive seats with your essence. Moaning out his name while he fucked you sensually. As if he had all the time in the world and it wasn’t just a moment you borrowed from the universe. And after you’ve both ended riding your highs, as you were drinking up his sweet scent and cuddling on his lap was when he brought up the idea first. 

Come back to work with Hoseok, baby. I’m going mad. I just want you around. 

It felt compelling. Especially when he asked that with a still husky voice and you were running high on your hormones. Aftermath of your orgasms still on your veins. But you said ‘No’. Because no matter how good the offer was, you will not go back into the company. It's too much trouble to go through. You didn’t want to meet Liya again. Not when you are back into being the same nasty bitch you are. Only difference? You are in love now. Despite everything, you wouldn’t risk your forbidden moments with Jimin for anything. It’s all good this way. Even though you have no job. Even though you will eventually become a burden on Jungkook’s shoulders. Or not. You’ll maybe become a burden on Jimin’s shoulders. Like a real mistress. A sugar baby. Your inner self- sane woman who’s still alive inside you- will scream at you. Even though you’ll feel like shit, you won’t go back to work in the R. U. N. If that’s the price for Jimin, then so be it. 

“No, Park. I’m too freaking ashamed to go back there.” You give him a firm shake of your head.

“Nobody knows anything.”

“What if they do? Emi knows for sure. And She will let Liya know that I’m back and I’m not- uh- I’m not risking anything Jimin.”

“Risking what? She can’t make decisions for my company.”

“Yes but she can make your main sponsor say bye to you. You still haven’t figured things out Jimin. You still want time and I’m not going to ruin things even before they start.”

“That-” Whatever Jimin tries to say gets drowned with a loud voice closely followed by the loud thud of kitchen door slamming against the wall. And for no surprise you find Taehyung barging in with a wide grin. J follows him and Jin follows her. Then of course everybody follows everyone, making you thank yourself for stepping away from Jimin. 

Still, with at least a five steps between you and Jimin, you feel nervous when you see your friends. Now you call them your friend. Because you feel that way. Somewhere along this shitty line, you’ve become friends. And you’re scared of them judging you. Of them deciding they no longer want to be friends. But no one shows even a sign of suspicion or noticing something off. 

“Guess what?” Taehyung barks happily. 

“What takes you so long to mix up some peanuts?” Yoongi doesn’t allow you or Jimin to ask ‘what?’ from Taehyung. Taehyung, however, doesn’t care. 

“We just decided, we are going camping.” He exclaims happily. 

“You did? Wow, good for you. Have fun then.” Jimin says with a serious face. Making you and several others snort. Taehyung lets out a very fake laugh. 

“Very funny.”

“What? You didn’t ask me or Lil if we wanted to join.” Jimin states innocently. A small smile is creeping up on his lips.

“No need. I as your best friend made the decision for you. You’re going. And Jungkook here-” He points to Jungkook who has started munching on peanuts without a care. “As Li’s guardian-”

“My what?” You butt in for the first time. Not even knowing whether you should be offended or not. 

“Guardian.” Taehyung repeats himself. Goes back to continue what he was saying. “He made the decision for Li. So, you’re going too.” States. Firmly. You gape at his face in pure disbelief for a minute before averting your gaze to Jungkook in a silent question. Jungkook gulps down his mouthful of peanuts first. Then takes another handful. 

“What? I am your guardian. You are under my protection little lady.”

Jimin beats you in the scoff he lets out. Nobody minds him. Not even Jungkook. 

“Isn’t she older than you?” Hoseok joins Jungkook in eating peanuts. You watch the way Jungkook gives a sneaky smile. Almost like a smirk. Looks you dead in the eye. You both know why. 

“Oh yes, she is. But age is just a number, Hyung. Who cares?” Winks. You don’t think you’ll be able to roll your eyes as much as you want. 

“I am not going.” So, you simply announce.

“Why not?” Jimin gasps right away. You just want to bang your head on a wall. He is asking why now? And Jungkook forgot that you can’t as well. 

“Well, I don’t think I’d be able to stay up for a few days at this rate Mr. Park,” You say to Jimin first. And his face instantly turns serious with the realization. Then you turn to Jungkook to find that the smirk has already vanished. In its place now is gloom. “Too bad you forgot that as my so-called guardian, Jeon.” Nonetheless you say without a care of other people hearing your absurd conversation. They won’t understand a thing anyway. Proving your suspicions true, Namjoon gasps. 

“Wait? What the fuck? You’ve never gone camping? Why would you ever think you have to stay up? We’re gonna have tents and- you know what? We’re definitely going and we’re taking her with us no matter what? This is so sad.” He shakes his head in sympathy. Well, fuck, this isn’t your desired outcome. 

“That’s stupid Namjoon. Even if she’s never gone camping, why would she think she has to stay up?” Jin butts in. Slapping Hoseok's hand away, who is trying to steal the peanuts on Jin’s hand. Instead of Hoseok he hands them all to a grinning J. 

“Ask her? She said so.” Namjoon argues, offended. Jin doesn’t ask you, however. Says something else to Namjoon as you pay your attention to Jimin and Jungkook who now look like wounded puppies. 

“Sure we can come up with something.” Jungkook hesitantly mumbles. Eyes wandering over to Jimin. You follow Jungkook’s action, looking at Jimin expectantly. He doesn't look like a brat who would whine and pout until you agree anymore. Instead he is serious now. You know he won’t do anything that would put your well being under a risk. No. You know he’s already decided to step away. Listen to you. Yet before any of that Jungkook stands up abruptly.

“Wait!” He bursts out. Grabbing everyone's attention. “That old lady. I mean the one who visited you at the cottage,” He looks at you. You know what he is talking about, though you have no idea where he is going with this. Not to mention that everyone is staring at him as if he’s a lecturer and they all are students without a single clue. “She did that because you stayed up, didn’t she?” Jungkook disregards every curious look upon him. “She came because you were doing something you shouldn’t be doing. No more than seventy two hours in one place, yeah? You almost spent more than two days there and boom there she was to warn you.” Jungkook looks excited like a little kid. Eyes all lighten up and face bright. 

“Gosh, no.. not this again!” You hear Taehyung groans. But you don’t pay him any attention. You are fully focused on whatever Jungkook is saying. 

“And then, you didn’t wish- I mean you wished for something you shouldn’t and there that kid came. Again, warning-” He steps away from where he is standing. Rounds the table to walk over to you. And you’re beginning to understand where he is going now. Slowly. But surely. The pieces falling into their places. “Noona? Do you get what I’m saying.” Jungkook grabs your shoulders. Gives you a gentle shake. “You- we don’t have to look for them. They’ll come find you if you just break a rule. Do something you shouldn’t do. Like-”

“Staying up for a few days.” You complete it for him. Jungkook nods enthusiastically. Looks past you at Jimin. A beat passes then even before you can so much as blink you are being yanked back. 

“No! Hell no! Are you kidding me Jungkook?” Jimin drags you back at the same time he steps between you and Jungkook. Lets you go before focusing on speaking with Jungkook. “That’s too much of a risk to take. What if she- what if-” Stutters. Swallows down what was about to say. Changes it at the last minute. “No. We’re not doing that.” Declares. Making Jungkook’s jaw go slack. Despite the fact they both would agree on some things, you know they can’t stand each other. Jungkook appears like he wants to say something else but is interrupted by the tentative voice of Yoona. 

“What are we talking about again?” 

“Yes. Are we talking about a movie or something?” It’s J who chimes in as well. 

“Nope. I think they are talking in a secret code. Those words have different meanings.” Hoseok puts his two cents on the table as well. You turn your head to find everyone gaping at the three of you like you’ve grown second heads. Well, fuck that. This might look more than crazy. You force yourself to give them a smile. Which for sure comes out as a grimace. Awkward. Everyone waiting for one of you to answer. 

“It’s a.. Movie?” Jungkook is the one who manages to bring something up at last. Hesitantly. His eyes on J. Just to let her know that her guess was the correct one. For a moment nobody says anything. Then Jin perks up. 

“Yeah? What movie? Sounds interesting. I feel like you three are characters in it.” Raises his brow. Jungkook sighs heavily. Knowing his lie is obvious. Leaving you to stupidly stare at your friends’ judging faces. You have no idea what to say. Jungkook shouldn’t have started this here. Now you would never find a way to-

“That’s a movie they want to produce” Taehyung grumbles suddenly. Every single head turning toward him. 

Oh, fuck no!

“What?” Yoongi snorts. 

Exactly! 

“Yup. The movie we want to produce.” Then you hear Jungkook agreeing. That’s the stupidest lie you’ve ever heard. Yet even with its absurdity, it makes your friends turn into each other instead of gawking at you. Splitting into two teams to debate how stupid that is. Good. They’ve got distracted. And you take the opportunity to check with Jimin. As soon as your eyes land on him, he shakes his head. Firmly. Mouth a thin line. 

“We are not doing that.” Says. Just grab a chair and sits down. 

But what if it’s the only way?

……………………….

Your blood is boiling. You're so mad, you feel like you could punch a hole through a wall. Or so you think. Probably won’t try it though. But still you’re so mad. Mad at Park Jimin. Who the hell does he think he is, to demand what you should or shouldn’t do in your life? You are fully capable of making your own decisions. Whether they are bad or good. Yet here Jimin is. Ordering you around. Saying ‘No’ whenever you bring up the idea of staying up until someone mysterious would visit or going on that camping trip. 

And to make matters worse, Jungkook has turned his back on you as well. He no longer is excited about his own idea, nor does he want to go on the trip. According to him—even though he hates admitting Jimin's right, he wasn’t thinking through when he brought up the idea. Now though, he doesn’t even want to think about that. 

That drives you up the wall. 

It’s been weeks since the day the idea came in. Since the day Taehyung and J had started planning on the camping trip. An odd pair to be working together, but apparently, they are in charge. Yet no matter how hard you try, these two men in your life are acting like stubborn bulls. Now you’re running out of patience. There’s only so much a girl can take after all. 

See now, it’s not that you wanted to go on a darn trip at first. No. All you wanted was to try out the theory Jungkook brought up. In desperate hope that it would work and you’ll find a way somehow. Then somewhere along the line of you trying to persuade Jimin and listening to Taehyung and J ramble about the same thing over and over again, you wanted to kill two birds with one stone. If you are about to risk your life trying to test out another theory, then you might as well do it while enjoying a weekend trip with the new crackheads in your life. You want to go on that trip. You want to see what will happen if you break a rule. It doesn’t matter how bad things could go. And Jimin and Jungkook can go fuck themselves. 

You barge inside Jungkook’s cozy kitchen. Just out of the shower, your hair still wet. You’ve made up your mind while showering. No one can rule your life this way. 

“I. Am. Going.” You state just as you spot Jungkook standing in front of the stove. Cooking something that smells delicious. He turns around to face you in surprise at your unexpected voice. 

“What?” Asks innocently. 

“Camping. I am going, Jeon Jungkook.” You repeat, more firmly. Yet as how it was all these times, Jungkook sighs heavily. 

“No Noona, you-”

You shut him up by throwing the towel in your hand toward him. He catches it with ease for your annoyance. 

“You fucking don’t get to decide what I do, Jungkook. I decide what I want and right now I’ve decided I am going.” You declare once again before you turn around. Ready to leave when Jungkook starts to say something else. 

“Bu-”

And knowing exactly what he is about to say you turn toward him again before he can even start. “And neither does Park Jimin. He doesn’t get to say what I do either.” Jungkook closes his mouth, proving that he indeed was about to bring Jimin up a second ago. Feeling victorious, you waste no time in storming toward the coffee table in the living room. Just to pick up your phone. You have just rendered one man speechless and there’s another one to go. 

I’m going on that trip Park.

You shoot Jimin a quick text. Almost lock your phone screen and toss it away when it vibrates with a new message. You roll your eyes. At this rate you will start to believe that the CEO of R.U.N has no job to do. That’s how much Jimin has been texting you these days. You open the new message. 

You are not.

A bitter scoff leaves your mouth. 

The fucking audacity of this man. Oh, only if you could throw a wet towel right across his face as well. Unfortunately though, that is not an option. So, you opt into another text message. 

Try stopping me!!!!!!!

Then you toss your phone away just as Jungkook steps before you. 

“Noona!” He whines. Your towel is still in his hand. Looks like a hungry baby. You will not fall into that trap though. He can whine all the much he wants, you’ll not give a fuck. 

“What?” You snap. Feeling guilty instantly when he winces. Just for a second, however. He gains his posture rather quickly and your feelings shift into anger just as he opens his mouth. 

“Oh, c’mon, we can’t do that. You can’t. You didn’t even want to go on that stupid trip in the first place.” Jungkook finally throws your towel into the couch. 

“Well, that’s before you came up with the idea.” 

“Fuck. I’m such an idiot then.”

“No. You’re such a genius.” 

“Noona…” Jungkook even stomps his feets like a child. You groan, exasperated 

“My god, Kookie. Will you please stop? I just want to see if it works and I want to go on that trip.” A silence falls over following your words. Just Jungkook looking at you with wide eyes. Eyes that are troubled. Worried. Scared. You know they care. Both him and Jimin. But they need to understand as well. “Listen Jungkook. I just don’t plan on dying, you know. I don’t want to do something that would harm me either. All I want is to just try. I’m not going to stay past seventy two and fuck everything up.” You step closer to him. He just pouts. Adorable. “I promise I’ll just sleep before the clock runs out.” Put your hand on his arm, feeling him relax under your touch. 

It’s amazing how close you’ve become. You thank god every day for not letting it ruin between you and Jungkook after that day. It would have hurt so bad if you had fucked up your relationship with Jungkook. In the end, he is the home you come to after an exhausting day. Even when you love Park Jimin. A lot. Too much perhaps. Jungkook is your home. And you want him to understand you. 

“But what if something bad happens, Noona..” He concedes after a long minute. Takes your hand in his. Squeezes. Peers into your eyes. You squeeze his hand in return.

“But what if not? What if nothing happens? What if everything went so good and-” You let out another breath. “Please Kookie. Let’s just go and enjoy ourselves. Even if this doesn’t work or even if they come and say I’ll just have to stop coming here from tomorrow, then at least we’d have good memories.”

“Oh, fuck don’t say stuff like that. Not fair!” Jungkook this time squeezes your hand as if he wants to break it. Making you almost whimper. 

“Please. I want to go and I want you there as well.” You give your best puppy eyes. Despite these two men being a pain in the ass for you with their ridiculous commands and demands, they have made it unbearable when they’ve decided not to go as well. How stupid is that? 

Jungkook lets your hand go. Allowing it to fall limp. Groans. Pushing both of his hands through his tousled black hair. Then gives you a look. Utterly done. Yet instead of saying anything to you, start fishing inside his pocket. You watch curiously as he pulls out his phone. Starts typing something furiously while muttering something inaudible to himself. You are just about to ask him what the fuck is he doing when you hear your phone vibrates yet again. Still confused, you slowly bend over to grab the device. Quickly unlocking it. There sure is a message from Jimin but you ignore it. Go to the group chat J has created for the very purpose of this trip. The newest text there is from Jungkook. 

Count me in. I’m coming……

A slow smile spreads across your face. 

“Happy?” Jungkook questions affectionately. You beam at him. Nodding your head crazily before throwing your arms around his neck. He returns the hug instantly. Arms protectively wrapping around your waist and crushing you in his hold. 

“Thank You.” You mumble. 

“You’re so fucking annoying.” He grumbles. 

………………………….

A vein throbs in Jimin’s head. This is how he’ll die. He’ll have a stroke. The thing is, he’s not exactly mad. No. He is frustrated. Tired. Freaking exhausted. He is annoyed at the fact that he can’t get mad even if wants to. 

Arguing with you is like asking a boulder to move on its own. No use. And if this was anyone else, Jimin would’ve strangled them by now. But alas. This is you he has to deal with. It’s impossible to get mad. How can he after all? 

He swears he was about to give you a piece of his mind when he turns around after you whine out a ‘please Park’. Then there you are. Stubbornly pouting. Cheeks puffing out. An adorable scowl on your forehead. Nose scrunching up a little bit. Getting angry? At you? Who’s he kidding? He just wants to swallow you whole. And top of everything, you have to look like that. The pretty floral dress you’ve chosen for the night dancing around you to the gentle melody of wind. The silky material hugging your ethereal curves divinely. The gloss you have applied on your luscious lips glistening under the street lamps. Just as how your eyes are shining. That starry night. His starry night. How can he be mad at you?

“For fucks sake, Lil!” So he grumbles frustratedly. Steps toward you. You just look to your side. Obviously mad at him. “C’mon baby, listen to me. Stop being stubborn please.” He takes another step forward. You turn your head even further away. He is sure you’ll even snap your neck trying to keep your head turned away from him. “Spring Roll!” So he does his best to make you look at him. 

“What?” You bark. But still don’t look at him. Leaves him with no other options but to grab your face. Squeezing your cheeks and turning you to face him by force. 

But fuck!

Shouldn’t have done that now. You are apparently a witch. Are bewitching him with your fiery gaze and even more pouty lips. When Jimin gently shakes your face and talks to you sternly next he certainly doesn’t feel the way he sounds. It’s just a pretense to get you to relent. “Do you think this is a game, Lil? Huh?” 

“No.” You answer with the same fiery tone. Try in vain to push his hand away. “I know what I’m doing, Park.” Add. Well, that’s the case. Jimin doesn’t think you know what you’re doing at all. He doesn’t want you to do this. No. It’s too much of a risk. He doesn’t even want to humor the thought. There are a million things that can go wrong. You never returning? That’s not the worst case after all.  Sure, it would make Jimin die everyday while being alive. It would hurt him greatly. The prospect of not seeing you ever. Not even a glimpse. But still you’ll be safe and alive somewhere. Even if it is in a different universe. The worst case, however, is something bad happening to you. Turning into dust? Well, isn’t that another fancy way to say dying. The thought alone makes Jimin tremble.

No. He won’t let you. This is all Jungkook’s fault after all. Then the idiot decided to give up like that. Now he has to make sure you don’t do something stupid. All by himself.

“You don’t know what you’re doing baby. You’re acting like a kid.” He stops squeezing your cheeks so you can actually speak. He does it hesitantly. Ready to grab your face again in case you turn your face away again. You don’t. This time you keep your shiny eyes on him. 

“Oh, fuck you, Park. You’re the one who’s being a kid right now. You’re not even listening to me.” You huff. Fuck, you are impossible. Are pouting again. He gets this strong urge to kiss that pout away. Kiss you until you’re breathless and forget about this argument. Or maybe he can just turn you around, bend you over the car hood and fuck all your senses away. That’s not the rational thing to do, however. You’re too precious for him to just avoid confrontations. He has to face it.  

“I am listening to you lady, you just-”

“Then why the fuck can’t you understand that I just want to try.” You interrupt Jimin’s words. And he just swallows his next words up. Not knowing what to say anymore. 

“Lil…” Just rests his forehead against you. You don’t show any dislike. Just sigh in content. So he closes his eyes. Enjoying the close proximity. Enjoying your soft breaths fanning his face. Your body warmth radiating into him. And he feels you relax. Knows that if he’s to open his eyes now, he would witness that fire leaving your eyes. Wondrous. That is. What a single touch from him would do to you. Amazing. How it is the same for him. He relaxes in your hold as well. Especially when you bring a hand to cup his cheek. This feels good. Too good. All he wants is to stay in this moment. Your touch, your breath, and your soft voice are igniting a fire inside him. That fire is not lust though. No. This is something else. This is a kind of fire that is so intense it makes him want to cry. It’s soothing and painful at the same time. It’s a restlessness. It’s a yearn. It’s a fascination. 

God it hurts so good. He doesn’t even know how to explain it to you. Yet it seems an argument won’t solve the problem at all. So, he gives up. Changes the course. “Please.. I don’t want to risk it. I want you to be safe.” Speaks so softly that even he can’t hear his voice properly. You hear him of course. You always will. You just nod. Hand still cupping his cheek. Forehead still resting against his. Gives Jimin a fake sense of hope that you’re about to relent for a second. Then you inhale a long breath. 

“I know.” Mutter. Your breath tingling his lips. “I know Jimin. But I’m so fucking scared.” Admit in a hush voice. Jimin goes rigid on your hold. Squeezing his already closed eyes even tighter. Of course, you’re scared. This is your life after all. If he’s scared of you dying, then you might be petrified. Jimin has always wondered whether you really wanted to do this. Or even if you do, how long it will be until you change your mind. True, you were the one who rushed to him, panicked and scared, when you first heard you only have a year. True, you agreed with him right away when he asked you to stay. But what if you have now changed your mind.  What if you’re being so stubborn because you want to go back. 

Jimin suddenly doesn’t want to listen to you. But you do speak. Completely oblivious to the turmoil he’s going through. “I’m so freaking scared Jimin.” Your voice comes out hoarse. Jimin snakes his arms around you. Places one in your waist and the other on the back of your head. He would understand if you just want to end it. He would just give you the right-

“Oh, c’mon, we were supposed to have a year.” Then you suddenly choke out. Forcing Jimin to snap open his eyes. 

Wait what?

He directly peers at your eyes. Eyes that are glossed over now. Covered with a sheen of tears. No. That’s never been his intention. He doesn’t want you to cry. Before he can say anything, though, you start again. “You were supposed to have a year to make me want to stay. I was supposed to have a year to decide. I just-” You gulp harsh. “I just want to stay, Jimin. You don’t want me to stay anymore?” Ask with such a broken voice Jimin feels his heart physically bleeds. 

“No, baby. Lil, no… I- why would you even say that.” He instantly pulls away from you, so he can get a better view of your gorgeous face. Cups your face with both of his hands. “God, I want you to stay. I want you to stay until you don’t want to anymore. Until you’re so tired of me. Until you’re done with me.” Mumbles, warmly. He’d never admit the sickening joy he feels at your confession. You want to stay. And blame him for yearning for that. 

“Then let’s just try.” You put your hands on top of him. Peer at his eyes. Yours glinting. Beautiful. Oh, so fucking beautiful. He’s growing weak. Even his knees buckle under your soft gaze. He can’t say no. Not after what you’ve said. 

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

What the fuck are you doing to him. Why’s he so weak when it comes to you?

“Fuck, Lil. You just, ugh-” So, he groans. Decides he would give in then. But of course, he still can come up with a good deal. If he’s losing then might as well try to bargain. “Twenty four hours then.” Offers. And your soft expression instantly morphs into a furious one. Damn adorable. 

“Oh fuck, that’s just a day Jimin. Fuck that! Seventy hours.”

“Forty eight.”

“Sixty eight.”

“Sixty. That’s it. No more. That’s more than enough.” 

You open your mouth. Then as if you change your mouth at the last minute, close it back. Sigh. “Fine. Deal.” Agree. “Deal.” Jimin agrees as well. A moment passes. In that moment your expression turns back into an excited one back again. “You know, besides this whole deal, I want to go on that trip so bad.” Say with the most endearing smile he has ever seen. He can’t help but peck your lips. “Yeah?” Questions against your lips. 

“Mm hm, it’s going to be fun. We can sneak out in the night and then fuck.” Your tone is comically serious when you say that. A throaty laugh erupts from Jimin. 

“Is that a bribe, lady. That’s.. Not going to work. That’s terrible.” He shakes his head in displeasure. Or at least trying to appear disappointed. The smile that is spreading across his lips gives him away. 

“It won’t?” You raise a brow. 

“It won’t.” He confirms. You tilt your head cockily. 

“Are you sure, Park?” Ask confidently before dragging your hand through his stomach. And he knows where your destination is. He works at light speed when he grabs your hand and holds it still. Making you giggle prettily. His entire body flushes at the sound. 

Oh, he would do anything to keep hearing that sound. Anything.

“You little minx.” He drops his lips once again toward yours. Catching your lips in a searing kiss. You reciprocate it happily. Curling your arms around his neck and slowly starting to press your body desperately against him. Making blood rush to his cock. Making him painfully hard. It’s funny how he is twitching inside his pants within mere seconds. Just because he is getting drunk on your lips. Just because he feels your body against him. Looks like he would have to take care of the cum stains in his car seats again.  

A minx indeed. 

His minx, nonetheless. 

……………………..

You are giddy like a school kid going to their first ever sleepover. You have been buzzing with excitement for the past few days. Even disregarding your nerves about the prospect of what might come out of this. Poor Key and Jungkook had to endure your excited rambling for almost a week. Jungkook did it happily though. Not Key, however. She wasn’t happy about you going missing for an entire three days. Especially, with her knowing what can happen if things go wrong. She was terrified of the prospect of you wiping out of her memory. You had to reassure her hundreds of times yesterday before bed. Promising on your friendship that you would return safely. Before she forgot you.

You are certain that anything like that won’t happen, though. You have that positive feeling. In your stomach. Of course, you are buzzing. Besides, this is your first time camping. You are a little sad that Key can’t join. Maybe, you will arrange another trip in your world. With Key. And Chan. You not so surprisingly found out that you are very happy about the idea of Key dating Chan. Even though she doesn’t admit it yet. They make a cute couple. And you should arrange that trip. Because you are definitely not opposed to feeling this way again. 

Entire two- hour drive to the camping site with Jungkook and Taehyung was filled with nothing but an endless laughter. Even Taehyung’s very off-key singing has brightened up your mood. You will never admit it to his face but Taehyung is the best company someone could ever wish for. He has you choking on laughter describing all the weird people he met during his search for the ice cream vendor. Jungkook too. All three of you are still trying to calm down from the last joke cracked by Taehyung when he finally brings the car to a halt. You take in a deep breath before practically jumping out of the car. Into the first breezes of summer. Feeling the soft but warm sun kissing your skin and letting wind play with your hair. Crunching green grass under your feet. 

“Fuck, I love this!” You mumble to yourself. Throw your head up to feel the sun in your face. Fill up your lungs with fresh air. Then take a good look around your campsite. Eyes falling on the few people who are already here. You spot Yoongi in the distance. Carrying some heavy bags while Hoseok walks behind him. Probably bossing around. You spot Namjoon and Yoona as well. Helplessly staring down at a tent. They are not going to get that thing up. Not unless someone else helps them. 

Grinning from ear to ear, you raise both your hands to wave at them. Three pairs of hands greet you back. Yoongi greets you with his foot. He just raises his one foot and tilt it side to side. Understandable. His hands are full. You snort loudly before finally turning around to see what Jungkook and Taehyung are doing. Find them bickering over luggage. You walk over them to offer a hand. 

“Need help?”

“No.” Jungkook exclaims. 

“Yes.” Taehyung bursts out. Whips his head to Jungkook in disbelief. “Of course, we need help. There’s so many bags.”

“Wow, you’re such a gentleman.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. 

“I am. Take this.” Taehyung disregards Jungkook as he forces a heavy bag into your hands. You barely catch it, balancing it out on your arms hardly. 

“Yah! You stupid..” You hiss, finally managing to save the bag from falling. Taehyung pays you no attention. “Very gentlemanly… And he’d talk about his impressive dick.” You mutter under your breath. Yet unfortunately he hears it. Straightens up immediately. 

“I do have an impressive dick.” Points out. 

“Well, that doesn’t count if you are not a gentleman.”

“Why are we talking about his dick?” Jungkook butts in, unloading more bags. 

“Good question.” You nod in agreement with Jungkook. 

“Because, I have an impressive one.” Taehyung yet again notes. 

“How can we believe it? You have to show us then.” Jungkook challenges Taehyung with a smug look on his face. Okay, you shouldn’t have brought this topic up. This is going to become a headache now. Luckily for you, though, just before Taehyung can reply to Jungkook’s challenge, the sound of an oncoming vehicle diverts all your attention. You all turn around to witness the infamous black E.W. 

Jimin. 

A huge grin breaks on your lips at the sight. Initially, it was planned that you, Jungkook, and Taehyung all would be riding with Jimin. Then Jimin had to attend an important meeting together with Jin. You believe that the meeting has nothing to do with the new game they are launching soon. For some reason, you think it has everything to do with Jimin’s plan for escaping the vice grip Liya’s father has on their company. His plan for freedom. Whatever the real reason might be, it has made you travel without Jimin. You with Jungkook and Taehyung and Jimin with Jin and J. You would be lying if you say you weren’t a teeny bit upset but that’s not a problem. He is here now. 

You contemplate moving forward for a second. Not knowing what exactly you should do. It’s not like that you can jump into his arms freely. Then before you can do anything Taehyung beats you to it. A huge gasp leaving his mouth and dropping the bag on his hands. 

“Jimin-ah…” Shouts through the top of his lungs. Making you flinch at the loud noise and Jungkook cursing slowly. 

“Yah! Yah! We have eggs in that bag idiot.” He yells after his curse. 

Taehyung, though, doesn’t even hear Jungkook as he’s already running to Jimin. Dramatic. Only- if only you can roll your eyes to the back of your head. Since you can’t do it, you just opt to watch the way Taehyung runs halfway toward the car. Stops when Jimin gets out of the car before he could reach it. And naturally your eyes roam over to the man you’re in love with. Still in his work attire for no surprise. Your stomach does that flip over instantly at the sight of him. Butterflies. Eating you from the inside. In a good way. Just for a long second, however. Even before you can process the feeling, Jimin slams the car door shut. The butterflies in your tummy instantly disappear at the sound, just like how Taehyung’s smile does. 

Jimin turns to face you then. His jaw slack. Eyebrows pulled together. The expression is so tight. Pissed! Undoubtedly, that’s how an angered man would look. And you know how this specific man looks when he’s mad. 

Oh! Something might’ve gone wrong.

You wonder if it has to do something with the said meeting. Or something else that went wrong with the company. You don’t get to think too hard, though. A sound of a second car approaching takes your attention away from Park Jimin and toward a white car. It’s very familiar. You are certain you’ve seen it somewhere. You furrow your brows in confusion as the vehicle comes to a halt. A couple seconds pass. It’s unfortunate the driver had parked it in a way that obscured their face from you. So, you wait patiently until the driver’s side door opens. Until a figure gets out. 

A figure wrapped in a black blazer set just similar to Jimin. Her raven silky hair framing her perfectly maintained face. Tall in her four inches. And wearing a condescending smile. 

Of fucking course, the car is familiar!

Because it’s Kim Liya’s. 

Your stomach drops. A weird sensation engulfs you whole. Really? This again? You immediately avert your gaze toward Jimin. Are met with his apologetic eyes. You can’t believe it. You didn’t know she was coming. Why is she here anyway? Maybe that’s such a selfish thought but nobody has ever mentioned her presence. This is just like the day at the restaurant. Like J’s birthday. Liya has made a surprise appearance and you’ve ruined everything that day. This can’t be happening again. 

You wouldn’t have come if you knew she was coming. Not to be a bitch but this is going to mess things up. You should not believe your gut feeling after this. Everytime you think it’s going to be good, something like this happens. See now, you are well aware that you have no rights to have such bitter thoughts. You know you’re an outsider. This is her life. These people are supposed to be her friends. Or not. Liya is not exactly fond of this friend group. She has made it obvious. Everybody knows it. Which is why you question her presence on this occasion. Still you are the outsider, though. You shouldn't question her presence. This is her world. Her life. She can be anywhere she wants to be. 

And now you can’t do anything about it either. She is here and so are you. It’s going to be an exhausting trip. You would still go through it. You have other important matters to attend to after all. This is nothing. Just three nights of enduring her presence. Just three days of seeing her being Jimin’s girlfriend. The person who you are not. 

Well, it sucks to be you!

You throw another brief glance at Jimin. His eyes are still on you. No longer pissed but remorseful.  You ignore him. Turn around to take the bag to the campsite just as a second figure- who you recognize as Seoyoen- steps out of the car. 

“I thought you didn’t want to come here.” Taehyung asks in apprehension. 

“Plans change, baby.” Seoyeon answers. 

That’s the last thing you hear before you walk over to your other friends. 

………………

You all stand in a circle in the middle of your campsite. Surrounded by the newly built tents. Maybe not all of you are standing since Hoseok and Yoongi are lying down. Yoongi’s face is covered by a hat and you suspect he’s already in dreamland. Meanwhile Hoseok is constantly complaining. 

“Yah! Get this shit done already kids. I need to eat.” He grumbles once again. Prompting J and Taehyung who’ve been going over something on a tablet together, to raise their heads. You find it amusing to see them working together. Especially, when they act like they’re on a mission to save the world. 

“Shut up, Hyung. This shit is important.” Taehyung disregards Hoseok’s complaint with a wave of his hand. Hoseok gasps offended. 

“We are almost done. We just need to make sure we’ve got everything.” J backs up Taehyung. They’ve been saying that for a good twenty minutes now. It’s really ridiculous. Both of them are not the type to be perfectionists. They are the type to just roll with it. Type to eat, drink, and then sleep. No hard stuff. But it seems they have much more to themselves. Are surprising everyone with how meticulously they’ve planned this trip. Everything is on spot. From this place to your food. You’ll give them credits for that. They deserve that. Only that it is getting tiresome now. 

“God, J,J, we’ll know if we’ve missed something. Let’s worry about that later.” Jungkook speaks behind you. His chin is placed on top of your head. Is using you as leverage. You agree with him wholeheartedly. And with Hoseok as well. You are hungry. 

“Yeah? Then what will happen if one of you idiots chopped off your fingers by mistake and we have no first aid kit here? Wait, do we have a first aid kit?” J turns to Taehyung. Both of them immediately rushing to check that. 

“Fuck, I thought Hobi was bad at planning.” Namjoon whines. 

“They are not bad at planning. They are too good. And that’s worse than being bad.” Yoona corrects her boyfriend. Taehyung and J are still rummaging through the bags. You slowly avert your gaze from them to your left. Stealing a glance at the man standing there with Jin. The man you’re in love with. He has changed into much more comfortable clothes now. Is talking with Jin but his eyes are undoubtedly on you. You have not seen Liya and Seoyoen around. Probably still at the bathhouse. Good. You have time to stare at Jimin then. He gives you a soft smile once he notices you’re glancing. You reciprocate it hesitantly. 

You’ve sworn to yourself that you’ll not be a bitch to Jimin about this situation. No. It’s not his fault. Liya does what she wants. She’s completely allowed to be here. But apparently it’s really hard not to be a bitch when you are jealous. You can’t help but think through your time ahead on this trip. Jimin and Liya would be sharing a tent together. So what? They share a house together everyday. They share a bed. They share food. They share a life. That realization makes you even more jealous. 

God this is pure torture….

Still it’s not Jimin’s fault. It’s no one’s fault. You have to go through this.

You get distracted from his soft gaze and smile when you catch the sight of two friends who are coming toward you through your peripherals. You immediately turn your head away from Jimin. Paying your attention back to J and Taehyung. Just as you do they both straighten up like bolt of lightning. Abandoning their search for whatever they are looking for this time.

“Fuck!” J yells. Taehyung turns to all of you with his hands placed on his hips. Dismayed. As if he’s just discovered one of you ate his favourite cupcake. 

“What? What happened? Who died?” J’s shout makes the peacefully sleeping Yoongi sits up abruptly. His eyes are droopy. He in fact, it seems was in dreamland. 

“We have no water!” J clarifies the reason for her sudden outburst just as Seoyeon and Liya join the circle. 

“What do you mean?” Seoyeon questions very confusedly. 

“We have no water, that’s what I mean.” J regards her with a look that clearly questions her intelligence level. 

“We heard that, J, but what do you mean we have no water? There’s a freaking river nearby.” Hoseok- very much startled like his cousin- points his finger where the said river is located at. 

“That’s probably not safe to drink.” Liya is the one who answers Hoseok. J agrees to her with a firm nod.

“And there’s no drinking water in the camp site. Unless you want to risk it and drink from the river.” Taehyung adds.  “Hell no!” Seoyeon scrunches up her face in distaste when Jungkook perks up. 

“It can be safe, though. People in the movies always do that shit.” Shares. And earn a unified chorus of disapproval. 

“Unfortunately, this is not a movie and I’ll not drink water from a river.” Liya levels Jungkook with a pointed look. You hear Jungkook scoff. “As if we would give a fuck.” Mumbles. 

“Okay, no one wants anyone to end up in a hospital so that’s a no.” J takes charge of the conversation again. 

“And what are we going to do about it? How did we even miss damn water? I mean it’s water.” Jin questions as he walks next to J and peers over the tablet on her hand. “Which idiot forgot to bring what they were assigned to.” He glances over whatever on the device with furrowed brows. For a minute. Then takes it in his hand. And at that Taehyung and J go weirdly quiet. Yoongi is the one who picks up on that firstly. An amused chuckle leaves him. 

“What’s going on?” Jimin joins the chaos for the first time. His voice makes you glance at him again. He isn’t looking at you this time, however. Full attention on his older friend who’s still scanning through the device. Before answering Jimin’s question, Jin throws a brief glance at J. She is just trying her best to avoid looking at anyone.

“That… it seems….wasn’t assigned to anyone.” Jin exhales as he gives the tablet back to J. 

“So much for being too good.” Hoseok teasingly muses. Making both J and Taehyung break into a ramble of thousands of excuses. 

“Yah, people make mistakes.”

“At least we didn’t promise you a weekend in a luxury cottage and then made you do the dishes.”

“Not fair blaming only us.”

“You should’ve checked the details too…”

“Okay, all right, shut it.” Jin interrupts their ranting with a groan. “This isn’t going to solve the problem. What are we going to do?”

“What else? Someone obviously has to go back and bring some water bottles.” Yoona shrugs. 

“Nope!”

“No way… I’m not gonna move a finger.”

“You gotta be kidding me!”

Like that the hell breaks again. Loud voices of disagreement flowing across the otherwise peaceful campsite. 

“They should go, they forgot it.” Jungkook grumbles from behind you. To which Jimin agrees with a beat of heart for your surprise. Jungkook and Jimin are a very weird duo.

“Yes. You are the ones who created the problem so you should be the ones to solve it. Leave us out of this.” Jimin points a finger right at Taehyung. The man in the receiving end leaves a horrendous gasp. 

“Yah! Yah!” Taehyung shouts. “I’m unfriending you from now on. You should take my side and defend me, moron.” Pouts hard that you really feel sorry for him.

“Yah!! What about the time then you ratted me out to Hyung an-“ Jimin starts with a loud whine. Only to get interrupted by Jin.

“Shut the fuck up you two.” He gives both men- who are acting like siblings more than friends- a death stare. Works like magic. Both go silent instantly. “And really Jimin-ah? Kook?” Gives a look to Jungkook as well. You turn around to find Jungkook in utter disbelief that he got called out too. “You gonna just blame like that and leave it to them? What kind of friends would do that?” Asks. “It’s not fair to do that.” Adds. Taehyung and J agree with him wholeheartedly. Jin apparently is back to being the eldest of the group it seems. Or not.

“You’re just saying that because you are whipped for that woman, Hyung.” Hoseok calls the buff out. A sneaky smirk on his face. Jin-like you’ve seen before- turns into red. His face is visibly burning.

“Tha-that’s not-“

“So what if he is? Jealous?” J, however, is thriving. Happiest she’s ever been. Hoseok scoffs at the answer for the question. Yet whatever he wanted to say to that never comes out when Jin takes the matters back into his hand.

“Enough! We are going to do this very fairly.” He orders with a strange glint in his eyes. Strange enough that it makes you squint your eyes in suspicion. He’s not up to any good. You know he isn’t. 

“Oh, c’mon, don’t tell me you’re gonna do that draw thing again!” Namjoon suddenly gasps.

See, you knew he wasn’t up to any good.

…………………..…

“My God, can we just act like adults? Can’t someone just volunteer and go buy the water bottles? It’s like a twenty minute drive. Why make so much of a fuss?” Liya groans from where she is sitting on the ground. Cross-legged. You think she is making a valid point. You people are being a little extra here. 

Everyone is sitting on the ground in a circle. A bowl filled with pieces of papers in the middle. As if you’re about to perform some kind of a ritual. And to add more to the part of being extra, everyone is looking like a bunch of cows who are about to be slaughtered.

“Then you should go and do it.” Hoseok answers Liya with a sneer. “Since you’re so matured.” Adds deliberately. His head tilting to the side a little. Liya gives him a look that clearly screams that she wasn’t talking to him.

“No one’s gonna volunteer Liya. Everyone is so immature. Let’s just get this over with already.” Jin butts in hastily. Saving- probably a heated argument between his friend and his other friend’s girlfriend. Reluctantly they both accept that and pay attention to the silly little thing you’re about to do. “Okay, so, we know it’s just a twenty minute drive and one person can totally handle it, but to be fair we will choose two.” Jin explains the rules- if you can call them that. 

“Or….” Jungkook drags. Is sitting next to you. “You just want to make two people suffer.” Comments, making Jin gasp. 

“I would never-” He starts. 

“Yes you would. We all know that. Just get ahead with this. I can eat the whole GrillGo, at this rate.” Yoona whines from next to her dear- very bored looking boyfriend. You’ve come to know that GrillGo is these peoples’ favourite place to eat junk foods. And you’ve come to love the place as well. Even the mention of the name makes your stomach growl. You can’t agree with Yoona more. Think it’s very fair that she kicks her leg as well. 

For a second, Jin looks like he’d argue. Then he shrugs. Admits. Drags the bowl toward him. “All right, here’s how this will go. Since these two almost planned everything-” Gestures at Taehyung and J. “Their names won’t be here. And-”

“Yah! How’s that fair?” Jimin almost throws a rock at Jin. His plump pretty lips agape in disbelief. Jin isn’t the one who answers him, however. It’s Taehyung who looks even more in disbelief. Or offended. Or a mix of both. 

“Yah! Why the hell can’t you just be happy for me.” 

“For fucks sake, guys, please!” Yoona falls into her back dramatically. Jimin mouths a ‘fuck you’ to Taehyung as Jin shoves the bowl into J’s hand. Not minding the comment Jimin had made. 

“A..nd-” Instead he starts again. “They’ll choose two names. Randomly, of course.” You expect everyone to protest and start mini protests but they look dejected. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Only Yoongi mumbles. 

And like that the game begins. J takes the bowl as if she’s presented with a kingdom, not just pieces of papers with her friends’ names on them. She gives the bowl a good shake. Tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth. Then pushes her hand inside, quite not picking up one right away. 

“Hurry the fuck up, woman.” Jungkook groans. J shoots him a death glare. But then finally picks up one. Unfolds it. “Oh, god please tell me it’s not me.” Jungkook interjects again. 

“Well, unfortunately it’s not you. Such a shame.” J rolls her eyes. “It’s Park Jimin.” She informs you as she shows the piece of paper to the rest of you. Everyone breaks into a loud chatter. Even someone starts clapping. Jungkook lets out a noise in satisfaction while Jimin does one in resignation. 

“Of course, it's me. Fuck my life!” Gets to his feet. Pats the dust off his clothes even though there are none visible. “I can go by myself. No need to make everyone suffer.” Adds thoughtfully. Such a sweet thing to say. You would’ve cooed at that in a different time. By the look of your friends’ faces you know everyone thinks the same. Or not. 

“Fuck you, you little prick!” Taehyung yells through the top of his lungs. Startling several of you. “I swear to god Jimin-ah, you and I fucking enemies from now on.” 

“Wha-what the… what the fuck? What did I do this time?” Jimin takes a step back. Eyes wide. Looks innocently clueless. 

“What did you do?” Taehyung repeats. Shows him the bowl which is in his hands now. “You’re stealing my chance to choose a name.” Says as if it’s very obvious. Absolutely ridiculous. Jin was right. They are the most childish adults you’ve ever met. 

“Are you fucking seriou- you know what? Go ahead.” Jimin pinches the bridge of his nose. Frustrated. Taehyung pouts for a second before letting it go and going to fish for a second name. He does it more quickly than J. Unfolds a paper swiftly and stares at it while everyone expectantly looks at him. And you swear you see a quirk in his mouth before he manages to hide it. Then regards everyone with a look which he probably thinks is serious. Yet to you, he’s clearly amused. Excited. Is living his life. There’s a glint in his eyes. And so he fails miserably to hide the elation in his voice when he finally speaks. 

“It’s Li.” Just as the name leaves his mouth, everything falls silent. No loud chatter this time. No clappings or noises of satisfaction that they didn’t get picked. You feel hot suddenly. Feel the weight of the burning gazes on your skin. You know everyone is looking. Because, it is not okay for you to leave with Jimin considering the history you’ve shared. See now, your friends might have never confronted you about what happened. Might have never even brought the topic up and treated you differently. Still, it’s clear everyone knows what you did- what you’re still doing without their knowledge- was and is wrong. There’s no denying that. You don’t know why everybody decided to forgive you so easily.. It doesn’t matter in the end anyway. What matters is the fact that they’ve given you a second chance. The fact that they’ve not made a big deal and was even cool with the fact that you and Jimin were still close. 

This, though, would change that. Surely. Hanging out with Jimin on other times is something else. But, doing it in front of his girlfriend? What kind of a shameless, insensitive bitch would do that. 

Oh no!

You should protest immediately. And it becomes certain when a scoff breaks the silence, closely followed by Seoyeon’s voice. “Are you kidding me?” You guess that question is directed at Jin. You don’t hear whether anyone answered that question. Simply you pay no attention to that. Instead, you open your mouth to disagree with the decision. Before you can do so, however, Taehyung rushes to his feet. Storms toward you. Bends down and grabs your arm. And pulls you into your feet. All in the blink of an eye. 

“Move your lazy ass, Li. The faster you get this done, the faster we can actually enjoy this trip. Go on. Chop chop.” He turns you around. Toward Jimin, who’s looking at you with a dumbfounded expression. 

“No but-” You try again. Just to get cut off. 

“No buts. That was a fair game and you lost. Shoo now.” Taehyung starts pushing you forward. You keep your eyes on Jimin, not daring to look at anyone else. You know they are judging. Heavily. They should be. You know Seoyeon and Liya must be ready to burn you down with their intense gazes. 

You should really put up a fight. But you feel too awkward and uncomfortable to do that. Being in the spotlight is hard. Taehyung takes leverage in that. Keeps pushing you forward. Almost push you past Jimin. You still don’t dare to look at anyone. Your face is still burning.

They are judging. 

They are judging.

They are judging.

So, you just turn your head around to look at that one person, who will never judge you. Catch Jungkook’s wide eyes. He gives you a reassuring smile. 

You’re fine. 

You turn your head back again. This time toward the man who’s in front of you. His astonished expression has changed into something softer. Is waiting for you. Clearly doesn't give a fuck about what others think. He used to think about that a lot. Which is what made you fall into this pit in the first place. But then if he doesn’t care, then neither will you. 

If Jungkook will never judge you, then you won’t care about others doing so. 

If Jimin will wait for you, you’ll always walk up to him.

You’re fine. 

………………………….

Neither Jimin nor you say anything at all as you walk to his car. You keep the silence intact when he revs the engine and pulls the car into the dusty road. You still keep it that way even when five minutes of your twenty minute drive passes. And you almost become certain that would be the case for the remainder as well. At least, until you hear a soft sound escapes Jimin.

You turn your head to find a grin appearing on his lips. His whole face lights up with it. That’s when you realize that the sound you heard was a soft laugh. 

You don’t hesitate for a second before raising your hand and hitting his arm, with a horrendous gasp leaving your mouth. Jimin squeals first at your unexpected attack but then it soon turns into a full blown laughter.

Unbelievable!

“Yah!” You shout. “Don’t laugh, Park.” It does nothing but make him laugh harder.

“Wh- why not?” He manages in between his pretty giggles. Having a hard time concentrating on the road. 

“That’s so fucked up. Why are you even laughing?”

“Because this shit is funny, Spring Roll. Tae is my man after all. Can’t believe he just…” He trails off giving way to another laugh.

“Yes he’s a sneaky little shit, you know.”

“Who cares? It’s not like we did something wrong?”

“Haven’t we?”

At that Jimin’s laughter finally dies down. He regards you with a serious look now. “No we haven’t Lil. I don’t even know why Liya is here. But I know that she isn’t here to enjoy herself or to be with me. She’s just here to piss me off. She has something up her sleeve and I don’t like it. She isn’t innocent.” He throws a brief glance at your way. You stare at him expectantly. “She knows we’re- she and I- are not fine. She knows everything. And guess what? She’d still act like nothing wrong. Like she knows nothing. How could someone do that? She’s a woman on a mission, not a woman in love. I’m done with that shit so no, we’re not doing anything wrong.” Jimin accelerates the car with that.

Well, you still don't think it’s okay. Not really. But what’s the difference in the end? You did what you did. You do what you’re doing. Will anything ever change the fact that you’re in love with this man? The answer is simple. 

No.

You’re already painfully in love. 

…………………………

To regard Liya as a villain makes Jimin awfully guilty. Because she probably isn’t. But when he told you that she was a woman on a mission, he had told the truth. He’s still very much tangled up in this mess without a way out. Kim is a powerful opponent after all. It’s not that easy to flatten a mountain. Especially when he only has a spoon. But he will not just sit back and watch. Not anymore. He really is done. He made a mistake accepting their help in the first place. Choosing the easy way. 

So what? People can’t make mistakes? Jimin can’t make mistakes? He can and he should be having a chance to make up for them. 

He’s been under this pressure ever since the day he promised you that he’s going to find a way. And your little incident hasn’t helped him either. There’s a lot going on. He really needed an escape. Just for a day. And you both know his type of escape isn’t a camping trip. No. His escape is you. But then it had to be ruined like that. Like this. So, sue him for being happy when he gets the chance to be with you. Blame him for being a shameless asshole. Who cares he said. And certainly he doesn’t. Not anymore.

He won’t tell you what exactly happened. Not because he wishes to keep things away from you but because he’s getting this insane urge to protect you lately. Cover you up in a bundle of blankets maybe. Get you into your Spring Roll state. Keep you in his arms and forget the world around you. Make you live in a bliss where nothing bad happens.

In reality though, he might not be able to do that. Yet he can just let you enjoy this trip. Even with the tension on your shoulders. With your unconscious pout whenever you see Liya or Seoyeon glaring at you. With your longing glances at him. He just wants to make sure you enjoy it.

So, he wouldn’t tell you that Liya has made an unannounced appearance in his office this morning. Just after that shitty meeting. All he wanted was to find a loophole in Kim’s life. What he got was the part he already knew. About the scandal surrounding Liya and her mom. About the woman who was abandoned by Kim so he could marry Liya’s mom. About a shitty past that should be buried for good. Which he all knew, not because he dug into Kim’s life but because Liya trusted him to confide in him. That’s not what Jimin wanted. No. If he brings Kim down that would be through something really bad he did. Not with this. Jimin might be an asshole but he isn’t a monster. 

Still he would do his best to win this battle. He’d no longer be the pawn. Which is what he exactly did when Liya stood there in front of his office room with a- very fake- pretty smile. Was apparently there to let him know about an interview. An interview he didn’t know about and was organized to announce their upcoming engagement. Jimin swears he just wanted to say that there won’t be any engagement. But no smart player reveals their hand in advance. So, he had opted into a simple ‘No’. Because he had other plans. Of course, Liya knew what that other plan was. And to Jimin’s surprise she hadn’t made any fuss. Just another smile. And a single line. 

‘Okay, I could use some fresh air too.’

That was it. Now she is here. And something feels very off. Jimin can feel it in his skin. A prickling sensation. Yet he won’t tell you about any of that. True both of your moods were ruined the moment Liya stepped out of her car- as much wrong as it sounds. But still, no need of making it even more awful to you. You won’t be that happy to be reminded of the engagement now, will you? Jimin doesn’t know what exactly sends you off. 

Are you that jealous? 

Maybe. Probably. 

And that makes Jimin’s heart beat faster. If you are jealous that means he’s that important to you. Just like he’s jealous of Jungkook because you are that important to him. 

He glances over at you for the hundredth time. You are finally loosening up. That scowl leaving your beautiful face. And are finally starting to give in to that smile Jimin oh so adores. There’s no way he’d ruin that. He wants you to keep smiling. Without a care in the world. 

Because you are that important to him. 

He wants to keep you away from all the hardships and all the blames. Want to take your side when other’s point their fingers at you. Want to make it easy for you. Just like Jin does with J. 

You’re just saying that because you are whipped for that woman, Hyung.

Hoseok had said. They all know it is true. Even though Jin hasn’t mentioned anything explicitly, they know he’s whipped. And if Jimin wants to do the same for you……

He wanders his eyes over you once again. This time he gets caught, however. You frown at him. In a playful way. Then smile. 

Fuck, he is so whipped for you!

……………………

You unbuckle the seat belt. You’ve reached a supermarket in a small city. Market itself isn't that big but you are positive it’ll have enough water bottles for a couple people. Or twelve people. You place your hand on the door handle, ready to open the door. To get your business done faster. People back at the campsite won’t be happy when you spend a half a day on a task that only takes an hour. Yet before you can, Jimin stops you. 

“Lil.” He calls, making you halt your movement and turn to him. Questioning him with a raise of your eyebrow. He doesn’t answer your non-asked question. Instead another smug smile plays across his pink lips as he reaches for the back seat. That’s only when you realize there’s a bag there. How come you’ve not noticed that? Well, it’s very possible because you were so engrossed in the glint in Jimin’s eyes throughout the whole ride. With a bit of a struggle he grabs the bag then sits back on the seat properly. Hands it over to you. You whine loudly in complaint. 

“A gift? Again? Why woul-”

“You haven’t even seen what it is. Stop freaking complaining.” Jimin cuts you out. 

“It doesn’t matter what it is. It’s still a gift and there’s no reason for you to buy me gifts out of nowhere.”

“Will you please just see what it is first?”

“But this is-”

“Spring Roll!” That’s a stern way to say a name that is used as a nickname. You blink at his face dumbfounded. “Please, see what it is.” He pleads softly. Stark contrasts to the way he called you a second ago. 

Well, him bringing you gifts make you more guilty than fucking him or being in love with him. It makes you feel dirty. Like a whore. Like a cheap person. He knows it too. But Jimin doesn’t care. He’s been bringing something with him everytime he visits you lately. No matter how much you complain, he doesn’t listen. 

You bet this is a piece of jewellery. That’s what he’s best at giving. You already have a box which started to fill out slowly back in your home. What are you going to do with so many earrings? Especially with ones too expensive you can’t wear them to a frat party or a free drink friday at a club. You huff in annoyance peeking inside the bag and finding a box which is undoubtedly too big for a pair of earrings. Then it must be a necklace. You bring the box out. Throw a sneaky glance at Jimin. He has that amused glint in his eyes. 

Weird!

You skeptically pull the carefully placed lid up. Knowing well that there’s something going on. And just as you open the lid your suspicions become true. You are most definitely not staring at a necklace. Or any kind or jewellery for that matter. Instead, you’re looking at a purple device. Curved. Slim. Tiny. Two heads at either side. And there’s a tiny remote beside it as well. You stay staring at the purple thing for an extra minute or two. Then you notice the tiny button on one of the two bulbous heads with a tiny ‘power’ carved under it. And you know exactly what it is. Because of course you do. 

A vibrator!

A freaking vibrator!

You feel your face go red. Cheeks burning up. The AC of the car does nothing to cool you down as you snap your head toward a grinning Jimin. He is elated. 

“Like it?” Even questions as if he just gifted you flowers.

“Oh my god Jimin… you got to be-” You throw your head up. “Seriously?”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Jimin’s eyes go wide. Yet that grin never leaves his face. 

“Are you seriously gifting me a fucking vibrator?” You lean forward, closer to him for more emphasis. He just shrugs. 

“Yes, and?”

You hide your face behind your palms. Partially because you’re frustrated but more because you’re embarrassed. Jimin apparently doesn't like that. He removes your hands gently. “Are you blushing, woman?” Tries to peek at your eyes when you turn your face away. He holds your hands tight. 

“No, but why would you gift me a vibrator?” You groan, giving up trying to avoid his eyes and looking straight at him. 

“You know why, Love. That’s not even a question.” Jimin rolls his eyes. But you almost don’t notice it. Your heart skips a beat. Just as how it always does. Jimin needs to cut some slack for your poor heart. He needs to stop using that pet name. Gives your poor heart hope that he means it. He probably isn't and you know that. That must be just a gentleman thing. He never did that before, though. There comes that question again. 

Why?

You don’t get to dig too deep inside your thoughts, however. Jimin grabs your attention by yanking you forward. Brings his face closer to you. Close enough to share a single breath with you. “I brought you a vibrator so I can play with you.” Murmur in such a low voice a shiver runs down your spine. “You know I love to play.” Places a soft kiss on your lips. This time he makes your breath hitch. Now you’re burning up for a whole nother reason. You gulp harshly, heart already starting to beat violently against your rib cage. 

“Yeah?” You manage to question nonetheless. Jimin nods. With his- now filled with lust- eyes boring into yours. “And you had no better time to give me this? You thought giving me this while we are on a camping trip with all our friends and making me incredibly horny but not being unable to do anything about it is a good idea?” You whisper against his lips. 

“Oh we can definitely do something, baby. And yes this is the perfect time to gift you this because that’s exactly how I planned it.” He lets your hands go. Cups your face instead. Brushes his thumb over your bottom lip. You gasp softly. “You promised some sneaking outs and risky fucks baby. Stay true to your words.” Blows to your lips, making you tremble visibly. Yet you gape at him with wide eyes. This guy can’t be serious, now. 

“B-but now Liy-”

“We are alone now, aren’t we?” He places another kiss at the corner of your mouth. And you nearly moan. Jimin keeps his inviting gaze on you. “What do you say? Wanna do this now?” Rubs his thumb over your cheek. You lean into his touch. Close your eyes to gain some strength. Why would you be so weak around Jimin all the damn time? Well, it’s because he is Jimin. You open your eyes back with a sigh of resignation. Nod. “Words baby.” Jimin grumbles. 

“Y-yes.” So you hastily stutter.

“You sure?”

“Yes, Park.”

“Alright then. Put that on.” Jimin withdraws from your close space. Giving you the space you need to do as he asked. You, however, just stupidly stare at him for a second time. “What?” Jimin gives you a look of disapproval. You know what that means. He’s into this fully and is already playing. And it gets you dripping when he plays. You gulp harshly.

“Are-aren’t we gonna go and get the water first?” You look behind you at the supermarket. Voice breaking up with nervousness. 

“We are.” Jimin answers rather steadily for your likings. Oh you know what he is implying. This guy can’t be serious at all. Yet despite your inner nervous self you can’t help it but squeeze your thighs together, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Jimin. His lust filled eyes grow even darker. You have an exhibitionist inside you and this is time you should accept that. 

“And you’re gonna make me wear this inside the store?” You glance at the purple thing. Sitting prettily in its velvet box. You wonder if this is expensive.

“Yes.” Jimin answers rather impatiently this time.

“And are you gonna make me uh… cu..”

“Hell yes baby that's the whole point. You gonna be my little slut and cum-“ Jimin brings his face closer to you again. Nuzzling his nose in your cheek. “Only if you want to though. If you’re not hundred percent down, then we don’t have to do it. But if you want to, you know you can trust me.” Places his palm over your thigh to give it a squeeze. 

You tremble once again. Feel that familiar fire inside your stomach, making your core pulse. You both know what your decision is going to be. You trust him. Of course, you trust him more than you should. There’s no way you would say no. 

“Fuck!” You exclaim. Giving in entirely.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, I mean fuck, Jimin, you’re so crazy.”

“So what’s new? C’mon put that thing on.” He commands again but doesn’t wait as he takes the vibrator in his hand. “C’mon.” Urges you to take your shorts off. Is he going to put that in you? You feel another powerful twist inside your guts. A tight clench of your hole around nothing. With a simple nod you bring your already shaky hands to unbutton your pants. Quickly as you can. Then after another glance at Jimin for reassurance you pull the piece of garment down. Down, down, and down until you take it in your hands. Together with your panties. “That’s a good girl. Open up now.” Jimin keeps guiding you, disregarding the small whimpers you are letting out. You bring your feets up on the seat. 

Car park of the supermarket is pretty lonely save for a few other vehicles here and there. And Jimin had parked the car in a corner. Not secluded but away from other vehicles. You suspect that’s a deliberate move. In the end, it’s not as anyone would witness you. So you spread your legs. Slowly but surely. Putting yourself on the view for him. Like a pretty gift. 

“Fuck, baby.” Jimin groans. Puts his hand between your legs. Just a barely there touch on your clit that gets you squirming on the seat. “We need you nice and wet.” He says before taking his hand away, just to put two fingers inside his mouth. You watch in awe at the way he coats those two fingers in his saliva. You are wet to be honest but you’ll let Jimin do whatever he wants with you. You say nothing but mewl when he places those two fingers which are now covered with his spit on your already throbbing clit. 

“Ahh… Ji-Jimin…” You buck your hips up. Forward. Into his fingers. Burning up with a new desire. This will never get old. This feeling. The sensation. This fire. It will never die down. It will never get boring. Not with Jimin. He knows you too damn well. Starts rubbing slow but tender circles on your sensitive nub while shifting his gaze between your pussy and your twisted face. 

“Yes, princess. Drip, hm? Drip for me.” Mumbles sin in your ear. And you listen. Or your body does. You in fact start dripping within mere seconds of his wet fingers playing with you. Just like he wanted. Nice and wet. Jimin stops his ministrations once he’s satisfied with his works. Drags his fingers up and down your slit to spread the wetness across. Hums in approval. “Gonna put this thing on you, okay, love?” Asks you softly as he presses that power button. Nothing happens. You don’t know how it works. Never owned a toy before after all. Yet you nod in agreement anyway. Jimin brings the vibrator closer to your throbbing core and you have to clench your teeth so hard to stop panting like a bull. You can’t be this affected when this hasn’t even started yet.

How pathetic?

But all your attempts come in vain when one of the cool, tiny, bulbous heads of the toy touches your clit. You reel. Already wanting more and more. And Jimin gives you exactly that. He wastes no time in starting to press the other end of the vibrator inside your hole. You moan aloud. It’s not big enough. It’s too tiny to be precise. You don’t feel full at all. Yet just as Jimin gets the little remote in his hand and presses a button everything makes sense to you. 

Oh that’s how it works.

You may not own a vibrator but you certainly have seen enough to know how they look and work. This, though, is something you’ve never seen. It starts vibrating your clit and insides ever so slowly. You know that’s the slowest setting but your breath tangles in your throat. The dual simulation makes your eyes roll. This thing is good. You feel vibrations after vibrations going through your entire body. Gush after new gush of arousals seeping out of you. You clutch the seat for some kind of control as the little toy creates wonders on your clit. 

“Oh fuck, Jimin…” You moan desperately. Humping the air and needing more. It’s good but certainly not enough.

“Yeah? You like it?” Jimin mutters in your ear, followed by a kiss. You only nod. Drowning in numbing pleasure. Your brain is turning into a mush. This wouldn’t have been this good if you were alone, however. You know what makes it this good is the man who’s holding the remote. His intense stare and his presence. And you want him to give you more. Instead of that Jimin turns the vibrator off the next second, reducing you into a whiny brat. “No… not yet baby.” He picks up your discarded clothes. “Can’t have you coming too soon. We have to buy some water after all.” His voice oozes mischievousness as he guides you to put your legs back down.

The toy is still securely attached to your cunt. Residues of what happened are still going through your body. 

You shiver once again before you finally take a deep breath. Ground yourself to put your clothes back on and get out of the car.

Knowing very well that it’s just the beginning.

……………………

Your original purpose was to buy enough water for you. Such a simple task. But it’s the hardest you’ve ever done. You were distracted the moment you entered the supermarket. Not by any other snack or drink. No. Nothing piques your interest at this moment. Nothing despite the vibrations on your cunt. Again. Even before you figured out where you should look for bottled water Jimin had begun his favorite game. 

You snap your head toward Jimin as he presses the remote for a third time now. 

You are standing in the noodle aisle. For no specific reason other than walking around trying to find what you are looking for. Unfortunately for you, you weren't able to find it until Jimin turns on the vibrator again.

“Jimin.” You hiss. Trying hard not to squeeze your thighs or bend down.

“What?” Jimin nonchalantly asks as he takes a packet of noodles in his hand after pocketing the remote. You’re at a higher level of intensity now. Not the highest setting but now it’s enough to make you seethe. You look around hastily. You agreed to this. Yes. But now you’re really inside and doing it for real, you feel mortified. There’s couple people inside. Wandering around. There must be cameras. What if you get caught?

“Maybe we shouldn’t. Maybe let’s–” You start only to get cut off with a mewl you, yourself let out when the vibrations intensifies. This time you actually do bend down. Gasping. Crossing your legs. Jimin clicks his tongue. 

“You can’t change your mind like that baby. You need to stick to a decision.” His words almost don’t reach your pleasure induced mind when he grabs your arm and straightens you up. “Hm?” Looks at you expectantly for an answer. You don’t even know what he’s talking about. Only whimpering at the tingles between your legs, which makes you forget about the world. “You wanna stop, Lil? You can’t stick to one word?” Jimin asks you again in a dangerously low voice. Feels threatening. Taunting. Adds more fuel to your fire. Yet despite his words you can see that genuine concern in his eyes. 

It’s not fair he makes you decide things when you can’t focus. You are partially worried that someone might actually catch you. The pleasure, however, is getting unbearable. Your whole body trembles with the vibrations on your cunt. You can’t see things properly. Don’t even realize that you’ve shaken your head. At least not until Jimin turns off the vibrator again. Edging you for the third time in that hour. You bite into the inside of your cheek to control the helpless cry which is about to leave your mouth. Hold on to Jimin for your dear life since you can’t trust your legs. “Good baby?” Jimin this time asks without that teasing tilt in his voice. Cups your cheek affectionately. You look up at him. 

“Yes- yes I mean..” You pant breathlessly. “Holy fuck stop edging me..” Almost hit his arm. Yet he catches your hand swiftly. Pulls you closer to him. Jimin’s eyes go back to glint in amusement. That smug look reappearing. 

“Yeah? No edgings? Want to cum here then? While there are other people around? Want to be my little slut and cum in front of everyone?” Whispers. And you exhale shakily. 

“Jimin…”

“C’mon, then. Let’s buy those damn water bottles first.” He withdraws from you just to start walking away through the aisles. Dragging you with him. You try to protest which comes fruitful as he effortlessly makes you move with him. Still hot and bothered. Core still throbbing. Trying your best to walk normally with the toy rubbing against your clit with every step you take. 

Jimin walks over a few more aisles with his fingers entangled with yours. Here and there. Without interrupting your journey by making you suffer. Until he finally stops in front of the aisle where the products you’ve been looking at are. Then he turns to you. 

“How much do you think we’ll need?” Questions ever so normally. As if he hasn’t put a vibrator inside your panties and doesn’t have the remote to it in his hand. You gape at his awfully beautiful face. “Lil?” He urges you when you don’t answer him. 

“Seriously?” You take a couple steps forward to stand side to side with him. 

“Hm?”

“Are we just- are you?”

Jimin just raises his brow. Smug. Too cocky. You want to wipe that smug look off his face. It’s unbelievable he’s affecting you this much. You love him, of course. But why the hell are you not in any control? Why would you always-

“Oh, you wanted to cum, yes?” Jimin disrupts your trail of thoughts. First by his voice. Then before you can reply to him, with a gentle vibration in your pussy. You close your eyes shut. 

Here you go again!

That wasn’t exactly what you wanted to question. Honestly, you don’t even know what you wanted to ask. Were just baffled at how unaffected he is acting. Now, you’re getting distracted. Yet again. The toy massages your throbbing clit and your inner walls, just perfectly. Gentle. Like a soft caress. Just for a few seconds because in the next, it’s no longer a gentle caress but a deliberate touch. Firm. Jimin has turned up the speed. You open your eyes to find him looking at you attentively. Stares right into your eyes. Turns the speed another notch up. Then another. And another. One by one. Into the highest setting. 

“Oh, please..” A plea leaves your mouth. You really don’t know what you want. Why are you begging? Is that the need to cum? Or do you want Jimin to stop and take you somewhere else? Whatever it is, you don’t get to sort it out when Jimin steps behind you. Arms wrapping around your figure that is slowly starting to shake. He hugs you tightly. As if he’s trying to prevent that tremble. 

“You asked me to stop edging you baby.” He mumbles as he places his chin on your shoulder. “I’m doing just that. Giving what you want. You wanted to cum, so, go on princess. Cum. Cum hard for me. Let’s drench your panties.” He holds you even tighter. You are gasping for air. It feels too hot. Too good. Jimin’s words are making it even better. You squeeze your thighs together as tight as you can. Trying to control the sensation that is going through you. Your mind is completely splitted between the pleasure and fear of someone catching you. Only you though. Jimin doesn’t even seem to be phased at the idea of getting caught. “C’mon, let go.” He drags one hand upward to your breasts. Doesn’t touch it though. Just hoevers it under your boob. Teasingly. 

“Jimin, we- we can't… what if-”

He shushes you softly. Steals a kiss onto your neck. “Just trust me. Let go. I’m not stopping until you cum.” Steals another kiss. “Fuck, you look so hot baby.” Another sneaky kiss. You doubt you look any hot right now, however. You are just trying to control your facial expression so even if someone walks in they won’t suspect anything right away. Even if you’ll be on a camera, it won’t look like you’re milliseconds away from falling apart. You’re failing at that miserably. Vibrations on your clit are too powerful for you to do that. All you are able to do is clutch Jimin’s arm tightly and focus on staying up right. Even that is becoming impossible now. You are reaching that high so fast. Every vibration makes your mind hazy and that knot inside your tummy gets tight. Tight and tight. Then out of nowhere it snaps.  

You let out a tangled cry as your legs buckle. Jimin holds you tight without letting you fall down. You give up trying to control anything. Your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave. Whole body trembling. You fall back into Jimin’s firm body completely. 

“Yes. Like that. Fucking hell baby. Shit! Just like that.” Jimin curses low. Gritting his teeth. His grip is so tight on you that you fear he’d break you. “Cum hard for me. You’re such a good slut, you know. My pretty slut.” Rubs soothing circles into your tummy. Aiding you in riding your high. Keeps rubbing until it finally starts to die down. Slowly. Allowing you to see things clearly again. Making you wince in overstimulation since the toy is still working. Jimin picks up your signs of discomfort right away as he switches off it immediately. Yet keeps holding you close. “Are you okay, love?” Inquires gently. You barely nod in response as you take a lungful of breath. Your tenses up body relaxing after the intense orgasm. Or just starting to relax which turns into a complete opposite when you hear the sudden footsteps. Rushed. You almost jump away from Jimin in panic. Looking around you hopelessly to find a place to hide. You might have came already and the vibrator is off now but you’re certain anyone would notice your fucked up appearance. 

Jimin, however, doesn’t let you take a step away from him. Instead he turns you around to face him. Pulls you back into his chest. You can feel how fast his own heart is beating. This time his arms don’t wrap around you so tightly. It’s gentle. Like a normal hug. You freeze. He pats your back. 

“Oh my, you’re freaking cute, Lil.” Kisses the top of your head. You freeze. Heart pumping. He really needs to stop doing this. Nicknames. Compliments. Soothing hugs. It makes your heart hurt. Bleeding. He needs to stop making you fall for him even more. He does just that. With another gentle kiss. And you hear someone walking past you. And you indefinitely hear a soft coo. 

………………………….

You squirm in your seat, impatiently waiting for Jimin to finish up loading the insane amount of bottled water you just purchased, into the car. He takes more than enough time to finally get inside. After your embarrassing orgasm, he hasn’t started anything. Yet. But has promised you more with a dangerous tilt to his voice, just as that someone who came your way at the supermarket walked away. That time he wasn’t just saying it to make you suffer. He wasn’t trying to play anymore. He was aroused. To a point that it leaked through his voice. And it made that dying fire inside you lit up again. Made you want something more when you had a mind shattering orgasm. Now you are dying to have that more he promised to give you. 

You look at the man who just sat restlessly in the driving seat. He does the same. Eyes hooded and dark. 

“Please tell me you’ll fuck me now.” You burst out before you can process what you just said. Jimin’s eyes slightly go wide before he regains his composure. A slow curse leaving his mouth. He averts his gaze away from you to the outside. Scanning the area. At this rate, you actually don’t care about the place you are in. You just want Jimin to have you. You’re still buzzing from your previous orgasm. Still burning from the need for him. You just need more. More of Jimin. Not just orgasms. You need Jimin. “Please baby, need you.” So, you let him know. Jimin shudders. 

“Yeah? Are you fine if I-”

“Yes. Yes.” You don’t let him complete his sentence. Say a loud ‘fuck it’ in your head as you hastily unbutton your shorts for the second time in the day. Start pushing the clothing item past your hips when Jimin stops you. 

“Hey, hey! Are you sure, Lil? I know I said that it’s fine but I need you to be hundred percent sure, love. It’s day and there’s other vehicles around.” Jimin peers into your eyes. You on the other hand are already nodding madly. 

“I’m sure. Please. Just… god, I need you inside me right now, Jimin. I-”

“Fuck! Okay, get on my lap.” This time Jimin doesn’t let you complete your horny ramble. And he doesn’t have to say it twice. You get rid of your shorts in record time. Put your hand on the toy to get rid of it as well. Just to get your hand yanked away. “Keep it. Gonna fuck you with it.” Jimin clarifies his action briefly before pulling you into his lap. Shifts the seat back to give you more space. You moan at his words which soon turns into a squeal at the sudden movement. Jimin disregards that. Only pays attention to unbutton his own pants and free his hard cock. You know he’s been that way since the very moment he put the vibrator on you. It must damn hurt. Park Jimin is an amazing creature. That much control is truly amazing to you. There’s nothing to be surprised about, though. You’re used to it now. 

Jimin pumps his hard cock few times just as soon as he frees it from the tight confines of his pants and boxers. You keep your hips raised to make it easier for him. Watching the way he pumps his pretty cock. Squeezing the base. Making pre cum leak. You watch in awe. Breath hitching and ears roaring. Jimin doesn’t take much time. Put both of your misery to an end. “Sit, princess. Take me in.” Commands you while holding his throbbing length up for you. You nod in understanding as you align your entrance with his tip. Maybe the design of the vibrator makes more sense now. The reason why it’s tiny. You can take a dick in your vagina while it’s still inside and it won’t make it painful. You take him easily. You’ve been dripping a river after all. His bulbous head breaches inside your tight rim of muscles in one swift motion. Making you moan aloud. Making Jimin curse aloud. “Oh, fuck.. So wet baby. Holy fuck! you’re so wet.”

“God Jimin, you fe-feel so-so good.” 

Jimin nods as if he’s in a daze. “Yeah?” His nails dig into your thighs. “Yeah? Then take me all the way down slut. Go on. Keep going.” Hides his face in your neck. Kissing and sucking. No biting though. That would be awful to walk back with marks on you. You do as he asks. Take him all the way down. Until you’re fully seated on his lap. Until his hot cock is safely buried inside you to the brim. 

You halt in that position. Reveling in the feeling of Jimin inside you. Being so full. Feeling so full. Jimin gives you that minute to bask in the feeling as well. Then he pulls his face away from your neck. Throws his head into the headrest and keeps his eyes on you. Blindly search for the remote. Gives you little to no warning when he pushes that button. Instant vibrations start to massage your clit and your walls. This time though it’s not just you who feel it. 

“Fuck!!” You and Jimin both moan in unison. But what gets you shaking is the way Jimin says it. His reddened face. Mouth agape and panting. Oh so utterly fucked up. Losing it to you completely. It would never fail you to feel this intense pleasure, just by looking at the way Jimin is pleasured. It’s like clockwork. What gets you is what gets Jimin. Especially when he doesn’t let it show all the time. He’d be the one to play you. Get you pliant and control you and himself. But there are moments like this. Where he fails to control. Where he shows you that he wants to mound you. You love it. You love the feeling. There’s nothing like this feeling. It’s how it always was. Yet at this moment, you feel it ten times harder. Not just the fullness. Not just satiating your burning desire. No. There’s something else. It makes you want to have everything. You are so greedy for this man. That’s what makes you clench around him tightly. Making Jimin bucking his hips upward involuntarily. Trying to pull you down on his cock even more. 

“Holy fuck, Lil. Do-don’t squeeze that hard, baby. I’ll just cum right away.” He whines through clenched teeth. Oh he shouldn’t have said that to you. If anything his voice and words make you do it even harder. Not on purpose, no. You’re completely a goner. 

“So-sorry… Fuck, Jimin… I feel like I’m freaking… god…”

“I know. I know.” Jimin slaps your ass slightly. Then molds the soft flesh in his hands. Nods. Licks his lips. “Go on baby, ride me. Have what you want, yeah? Cum on my cock.” Lands another slap. You just give him a firm nod before finally raising your hips a bit, dragging his cock through your pulsating inner walls. Until only the tip is remaining inside. You take a second. Then drops down into his lap again. “Ah yes fuck..” Jimin gulps harshly. His moans are the sweetest melody to you. You want to keep hearing them. So, you do the exact same thing again. Quickly fall into a rhythm. Bouncing on his cock. Up, down, up, down. 

Despite his words, Jimin only gives you the control for only a couple of seconds, however. Before you know it, he’s plunging onto you from the bottom. All the while dragging you down as well. You let him. Allow him to use your body as he pleased. Just try your best to match his pace. 

Rest of the world doesn’t exist to you at this moment. It’s just pleasure and Jimin. The fact that you’re in a public car park doesn’t even reach the farthest corner of your head. Everything is a blur for you. Only thing that makes sense is Park Jimin. And the pleasure he’s giving you. 

“Jiminie…”

“Got you baby. Cum on me, hm? Please? Need you to cream my cock.” 

You hide your face in his neck. Drooling. Jimin picks up the pace. Reaching even deeper inside you. Hitting that spot. That paired with the vibrations are making you see stars. And that high is reaching you faster than you can comprehend. Especially when Jimin is pleading you to cum. “C’mon princess, cum for me, please..” He does it once. Then twice. Just as a third ‘please’ leaves his mouth, your body listens to him. You muffle your high pitched moan by biting into his shoulder as your whole body convulses. Thighs trembling. “Yes, yeah… fuck!!! Let go, love.. Like that, cum hard.” Jimin grunts. You do. Cum hard on his cock. Jimin doesn’t stop his thrusting as you do. Not even when your high starts to dissipate and is replaced with oversensitivity. Not even when you start to cry in complaint. 

“Ji-Jimin. Too-”

“Please, Lil.” All he does is whimper. This isn’t a angry fuck like the time he intentionaly made you cum in a raw just because he was posessive. No. He isn’t trying to torture you either. You know it. That voice of his is enough to let you know that much. “Shit! I can’t.. I’m close baby… so fucking close, take me, yeah? You can take me. Please..” Jimin holds you pressed against him as he continues to plunge into your quivering hole. Making inaudible gasps escape your mouth. 

Oh how you love it when he loses his control. Even if that makes you have to deal with the sensitivity of your cunt. It’s not a problem anyway. All it takes is a couple of thrusts for your pain to turn into a new pleasure. Another bubble of orgasm building in the pit of your stomach. 

“God, yes…. I- I..” You pull away from his shoulder to face him. Stutter on your words helplessly. Yet, Jimin understands you. 

“Yeah? You gonna take me like a good girl?” Jimin rests his forehead against you. Is panting hard. Breathless. You fall back into a rhythm of bouncing on his cock, matching his thrusts. 

“Yes. Yes. Yeah.. Jimin… fuck, need you to cum inside me.”

“I will, baby. Really gonna get you fucking pregnant. Gonna fuck you full of me.” Jimin brings one of his hands to your spent cunt. Presses on your clit over the vibrator. You fall into a state of delirium. Your brain is failing in finding a way to react to such intense pleasure. It’s all too much. There’s that feeling again. You can feel the way how air is charged with something else other than sex. Something is there. Something more. You’ll blame it on your feelings for Jimin. The case is, however, he is feeling it too. He’s not just fucking you for the sake of it. He can’t have enough. You can see it. Feel it. Taste it. He wants you. Just as much as you want him. 

Jimin wants you. 

The man you are in love with can’t get enough of you. 

He is losing himself in you. Your heartbeat is matching with him. You’re sharing one breath. Act as one. 

“Cum one more time for me, love.” He breathes out. And you swear what does the trick is that damn nickname. Or maybe the sensation of being wanted so much by Park Jimin. Whatever that is, you fall apart for a third time right at his cue. This time your ears are starting to ring and your vision is turning black. Not for long since Jimin follows you right behind. You have to force your eyes open and come to your senses so you won’t miss that mesmerising sight. His jaw clenched and eyebrows pulled together. Sweet moans which are dangerously close to your name leaving his mouth. His whole body tenses as you feel his length twitch painfully inside you before the hot ropes of cum paints your walls. 

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck…” You blindly chase his lips to ground yourself. Jimin does the same. Just a messy kiss with lots of teeth and spit. Somewhere in that kiss Jimin manages to turn off the vibrator. He pulls away first, gasping for air. Both of your chests heaving up and down as if you’ve run a marathon. You try to control your breathing as Jimin peers into your eyes. His own laced with concern like how it’s always after every intense sex with him. But you think there’s something else too. 

There definitely is. 

………………………

Jimin stares at your eyes without blinking. He is just unable to look away. He can’t. You have him trapped inside you. Both physically and mentally. He can’t escape you. He doesn’t want to escape you. He feels free. Relaxed. Even with the struggle for breathing and trying to calm down, he feels relaxed. Cared for. He feels like he is home. 

Without even knowing what he is doing, he brings a shaky hand to wipe down your tear stained cheek. You sigh pleasantly. Your thighs are still trembling beside him. Maybe he shouldn’t have done this here. In a place where he can’t properly take care of you after he ruined you. What an asshole he is? His self loathing gets interrupted when you peck his lips quickly. Just as if you know he is blaming himself. Well, Jimin thinks most of the time you do know what he thinks. You are simply amazing. So, he returns a peck as well. Manages to crack up a smile from you. 

There’s nothing to be surprised about this anymore. Jimin feels that familiar warmth shoots across his body. The same feral urge to keep watching the way you smile, getting to him. Overwhelmingly so. Oh he prays to heaven that whatever you and he are doing here will work. It has to work. You and he have to find a way. He doesn’t want to go without seeing that smile.

Jimin gulps harshly. Heart beating in his throat. This time it has nothing to do with the sex. Even though his sloppy cock is still buried inside you and you are ever so gently torture him with occasional clenches. Still, that’s not the case for his heart to pump blood extra fast. There’s something else. There was something else. There was something else all the time. He doesn’t know since when, but this isn’t about sex anymore. Sex with you was always great. You have him wrapped around your pinky finger. Yet he felt like floating as he fucked you a few minutes ago. And that wasn’t all about the lust. It was uncontrollable how he wanted you when he had you all to himself. He wanted more, more, and more. To consume you whole. To be his. And here comes the problem. He wanted more of you but not just in a sexual sense. He wants more of you. Just you. 

Maybe just more date nights. He wants them to be normal. Not a sneaky date where you have to hide. Wants to be able to bring you gifts without making you feel like a cheap whore. Wants to make you feel like the beautiful woman you are. You deserve all the gifts in the world after all. He wants to walk back to his group of friends with his hands entangled with yours. With nobody there to judge it. With nobody there to point out why it’s wrong. He wants it to be right. Nothing wrong in being yours. Wants to be yours. Just like he wants you to be his. 

Like Jin and J. Like Namjoon and Yoona. 

He wants to be with you!

He exhales a shaky breath, eyes darting between yours. You are innocently staring back at him. No. Not just innocently. They sparkle. His starry night. And so do they speak. You are looking at him as if he is your whole world. 

No. This is not good….

Or it is good….

Jimin feels like he is about to explode. 

‘Then what? Do you love her?’ Taehyung had asked him once and he said no. Because that can’t be the case. Because all he does is care. But he cares too much. He always had. And you feel like home. His person. 

‘I don’t know if that feeling is love Jimin……….’ Taehyung’s voice echoes in his head. 

Love? What a strange word. How does love feel? Jimin thought he knew. He was once in love with Liya. That’s how he believed at least. The thing is, however, he never cared this much. He never wanted her this way. Not fair, yes. But it is what it is. Maybe he was in love  with her, in a different way. This? This is new. And if this feeling isn’t love, then what words can he use to describe it. 

Love. 

Holy fuck. 

He is in love. 

The reason why he is so scared is because he is in love. That unexplainable feeling he gets when it comes to you, has been love. 

He is really going to explode. It’s too much. He can’t keep this feeling bottled up inside. 

“Lil-” He breathes. Completely in a trance. He loves you. You hum in response. He doesn’t know what he should do. He probably should go back. Ask you to move away. Then think things through. “I think I love you.” His tongue slips even before his brain can catch up. And everything falls into a deafening silence. Only the distant voices of some people accompany the surroundings. Your eyes go wide. Just as his own do. In realization that he just said that aloud. Out of nowhere. Just like that, he made a confession. The panic arises in Jimin’s throat. You make it worsen when you start to shake your head. 

Denial?

Disbelief?

Rejection?

Jimin doesn’t get to figure that out as you start to quickly pull away from him. Scurrying away from his lap. As fast as you can. As if he burns you. 

“No Lil- Hey- I-I just-” He tries to stop you but it’s already too late. You’ve practically jumped into the passenger seat. Are pulling your pants up in a record time. Don’t even look at him. 

No. No. No….

What has he done? What kind of idiot is he? Who would just say something important like that, out of the blue. Saying it after sex while high with emotions must be normal for other people, yes, but not for you guys. You are not normal. You are in a forbidden relationship. And until now, it was just lust. Or it was supposed to be lust. Then he changes it like that in a heartbeat. Even without thinking of the possibility of what you might be feeling. 

You care about him a lot. You get jealous. You look at him with that look in your eyes. You smile at him like he’s the reason for that smile. You bicker with him like you are a married couple with two kids. Still, that doesn’t mean you are in love with him. And he’s an idiot who doesn't know when to shut his mouth. 

Jimin’s chest tightens painfully. An unexplainable weight heavy on his shoulders. 

You might not ever reciprocate his feelings!

He loves you!

Oh boy he does. Even though it took him more than enough time to just admit it, he does love you. He knows that for sure by how it hurts to think you’ll not love him in return. How else can he explain the pain? He is in love. 

But even before he can even figure things out and actually let you feel the way he feels, he ruined everything. Even before he started, he ended things. Now, what? What if you run away? Did he scare you away? No, he can’t afford that now. No, he needs to make things clear. He needs to-

You open the car door. 

“Lil-”

You get out.

“No baby, wait!” Jimin feels like his mouth is full of sand. Feels like an invisible hand is choking him to death. It never was this much of a struggle for him to get dressed. Fingers shaking. Almost trips over his own feet as he gets out as well, finally. “Lil, fuck, please.” Jimin hurries after you. Like he is in a dream. 

Damn, you are fast!

How did you even walk that long in a mere second. It’s a good thing that Jimin is fast as well. He reaches you with just a few long strides. Only one thing echoing inside his head. 

He won’t just let you walk away. He just needs a moment to explain. He just needs you. 

“Spring Roll!” Jimin grabs your shoulder to turn you around. You hiss slowly in annoyance as you are forcibly turned around. That fiery look back in your eyes. The thing is, however, the fire is dying down. Is getting replaced by a glossy look. “Lil,” Jimin swallows first to get rid of the sandy taste. 

“What?” You snap. Shake off his hand from your shoulder. 

“Fuck! Let me just-”

“Let you do what? Explain?”

“Yes… Listen, I didn’t mean to-”

A bitter chuckle escapes your lips. That doesn’t suit you. No. He wants you to giggle like a schoolgirl. Wants you to smile like a ray of sunshine. How did he manage to get you from exactly that to this. “Of course, you didn’t mean it Jimin.” You cross your hands across your chest. Another scoff. Shake off your head. “Course you don’t mean it.” Mutter more to yourself. 

“What? Lil?” Jimin furrows as he tries once again to touch you, just to get rejected. He has no idea what you’re talking about. 

“For fucks sake Park!” You let your arms fall limp beneath you. This time finally look at him properly. “You can’t just fucking play with me like that. You can’t just call me nicknames, bring me gifts, beg me to stay and all that shit. And you would just confess out of nowhere? And then say you don’t mean it? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Holy fuck! What are you even talking about?” This time Jimin doesn’t give a fuck about you trying to escape his touch. Maybe he does have an idea about where you are going. Well, fair!

Did he just say he loves you and then say he didn’t mean it?

“You shouldn’t joke about things like that. I-I-” You finally give up trying to get away from him. Instead just avert your gaze downward. Voice just trailing off. And that feels like a slap to Jimin. 

“I’m not joking. Lil! Will you just let me talk?”

“Then what, Jimin? Do you actually love me?” 

“Yes!” That’s fast. Too fast to be honest. Just like earlier, Jimin just surprised himself along with you. It’s fine, though. What’s there to hide anyway. What’s the reason to drag this out? He said what he said and damn did he mean it. “Yes. I do.” So, he starts without letting you butt in again. Without letting you storm away. “I know it’s sudden. I- I’m just, fuck, listen I meant what I said, it’s not that I wanted to drop a bomb on you like that. I’m sorry I did it like that and probably I’m making it worse right now. I’m just an idiot who took so long to realize that I’m in l-love with you. I’m sorry I just told you it like that and I understand if you don’t-”

“Why the fuck are you apologizing so much?” You groan, putting a stop to Jimin’s rambling. Hit his chest slightly with a curled up fist. Look to your side. Eyes welling up. Bite onto your bottom lip. “Where does this even come from?” Mumble so quietly. Yet Jimin hears you. He will always hear you. 

“From here.” He grabs your fisted hand, pressing it to his chest. You roll your eyes through the tears. “Okay, that was corny, but hey,” He squeezes your hand to grab your attention. “It was always there. Like I said, it took me time but c’mon, Lil, you know it was always there. I begged you to stay, I brought you gifts, I called you nicknames, I got freaking jealous, I couldn’t even let you go even if it meant to risk the world I built so damn hard.” A sigh escapes Jimin’s lips. “I was so scared of you never coming back, I am still very scared. I did a whole lot of things I would’ve never done. It was always there. Spring Roll, I do love you. Even if you don’t-”

“But what if I do?” You inhale shakily. Jimin feels his heart throbbing. God! “You asked me to stay but I agreed right away, didn’t I? I wanted to stay away for both of our sake but I always ended back in your arms. I never wanted to leave. I was losing my mind every time something happened that made me realize I have to go back. Why do you think I keep wanting to live a life shifting between two worlds? Not belonging to either of them? Why do you think I want to risk everything to find a way to stay.” Tears that have been welling up your eyes finally fall down. Staining your cheeks. “So, please Jimin, be sure you mean what you’re saying.” 

Jimin feels thousands of pieces scattered inside him. It’s completely automatic how he pulls you into a tight hug. So lost in you. “I am sure, though. I am so fucking sure.” He mutters into your hair. And you melt into his touch. Jimin keeps you in his embrace for how long he has no idea. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? He could’ve gone days like that if you hadn't pulled away first. Peer into his eyes. Yours still glossy but he can see what’s under that. 

Your words can mean only one thing right? You said the same things as him. You want him to be sure because you feel the same right? Jimin kind of knows it. Yet he wants you to say it aloud. It would be nice to hear it fall from your lips. He can’t pressure you, however. He doesn't want to force it out of you. No. That’s not what he wants. So he says absolutely nothing. Just stare back at you. Basking in the feeling. Enchanting. You are so enchanting. 

“What are we gonna do?” You finally break the silence. 

“About what?” 

“About this? We- uh- Jimin we shouldn’t. We shouldn’t have started any of this in the first place.”

“But we did, didn’t we?”

“Look where it got us. What if it really doesn’t work? What if we don’t find a way?” 

“We are going to find a way. It is going to work.” 

“I’m so scared, Park.”

“It is going to work love. Trust me, hm?” 

“But if it doesn’t? I need a plan. I need to know you’ll stay even if we have an expiration date. I want to know what will happen if there’s no way this could work. If this isn’t going to end well-”

“If that’s the case, then we’ll write a tragedy.” Jimin shushes you with a kiss. He gets that you are scared. He is scared. Like you said, you shouldn’t have. This won’t be easy. But he’ll do everything to make it easy for you. Because in the end, he made his choice. To love you. So, even if it hurts, he’ll keep writing the story. Even if it means dying a little every day or a thousand times over, he’ll keep writing the story. Because, at the end of the day, he has always loved you. From the very day you called him a kidnapper. From the very day you called him a pervert. From the very day you called him, Park. Your Park. And he wants you to know it. So, he mutters it once again. 

“I love you.” 

You nod. 

“But I hope we'll write a happy ending.” Say against his mouth. 

“I’ll write the ending you want, I promise.” 

“I want a happy ending.”

“Then you’ll get a happy ending.”

A small smile appears on your hollow face. Oh, he’d write the ending you want no matter what. After all, you deserve it. He deserves it. He deserves you. 

His happy ending……….

..............................................................................................................................

a/n- Leave a note if you enjoyed this one!

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See now, Jungkook knows the person who’s doing something wrong here is you, not Liya. Yet he can’t find it in himself to sympathise with her. Call him biased, inhuman, or an asshole but something about Liya doesn’t sit right with him. Just like how it doesn’t sit right with him at the moment. 

He doesn’t like how restless she looks. Doesn’t like how she’s been mumbling with Seoyeon. Absolutely doesn’t like how distressed Seoyeon looks. Something is fishy. Something is definitely happening. Something bad. Jungkook isn’t an idiot, he can tell the jealousy apart. That— the way Liya is acting— definitely is not jealousy. 

And you haven’t returned yet. Of course, you haven’t. Why would he ever expect you to return so fast when you just got that little get away with the man you love? Fuck, even the thought makes Jungkook’s heart clench painfully. He must’ve agreed when you asked him to move on and not make a fuss about that night. Consider it a mistake that happened under the influence. But God, how it hurts.

It wasn’t much to be honest. But it was everything to Jungkook. He was a little fool that let himself get carried on and allowed to taste the forbidden fruit. It only made him want more. More and more. The only thing that did was make him fall for you a little more. The thing is, you were so worried. So worried about ruining your friendship. Worried about Jimin. You were blaming yourself for using Jungkook when that wasn’t what happened. Jungkook was the one who used you. 

He is a fucking idiot!

And he wanted to ease your burden. It was much easier to agree on your terms. Who knows what would’ve happened if he’d disagreed—if he’d told you he actually has feelings for you? For one, he knows you won’t reciprocate them. Then it would’ve made you run away from him. Well, fuck that. Jungkook can’t let that happen. No. You’re too precious for that. But this is the price for that. Now he has to be the silent lover who watches his girl fall for someone else and walks away in front of his eyes. 

Fuck his life!

How unfortunate that he can’t do anything about it. Because he is a coward. 

“Don’t tell me you have a crush on her?” Taehyung’s voice brings Jungkook back to earth, forcing him to snap his gaze away from the two distressed friends in the distance.

“On who?” He scowls. 

Taehyung gasps. “Yah! Man, mine and Seoyeon’s relationship can be very rocky and we must be very fucked up but I don’t like to think that you have a crush on my girlfriend,” He throws an incredulous look at Jungkook. “Even if it’s just by name.” Adds. “Besides, trust me man, she’s fucking exhausting.” 

Jungkook grimaces. “Eww… what the fuck, Tae!”

“Exactly!” Taehyung says with a serious voice, leaving Jungkook to figure out what he meant. This time Jungkook grimaces even harder. 

“Fuck no…” He turns around abandoning his task at hand. Preparing the barbeque pit. 

“Then why are you looking at her like that?” Taehyung doesn’t let Jungkook walk away, peacefully. 

“Because… she and your- namely- girlfriend, look like they are planning to bomb the damn world.” Jungkook gives Taehyung a look. That makes Taehyung stop and take a good look at the duo on the topic. A small crease appears between his eyebrows. 

“Oh shit! That’s not good.” After a long second of staring, Taehyung says. 

“That’s what I’m saying.”

“But that can be business, you know. She’s a CEO, Kookie.” Taehyung pats Jungkook’s shoulder, shaking his head nonchalantly. Jungkook tries to protest when Taehyung already changes the topic. “Anyway, you don’t have to look so repulsed when I say you have a crush on Kim Liya.” He does a cheeky bob in his shoulder, then a wiggle in his brows. Jungkook groans. 

“No…”

“Why not? You can have a crush on her sister, but not on her? They are basically the same person, dude.” Taheyung gestures at Liya. Jungkook turns his head so fast toward him. His attempt at talking once again got stolen by Taehyung. “Oh, c’mon, whole fucking universe knows you like, Li.” 

Jungkook almost declines before deciding against it. What’s the point of disagreeing anyway? 

“Yeah? Is that why you made her go with your friend?” So, instead he asks with a little scoff. He doesn’t want bad blood with Taehyung. He swore it wouldn’t happen, but sometimes it’s just... hard. It’s hard when he’s jealous. Taehyung sighs. 

“I didn’t do such a thing. Her name was on the paper, it was a fair game.”

“You made everyone awkward. That was so—”

“You’re jealous!” Taehyung cuts Jungkook off with an amused smile. For a minute. Then his smile drops. “I like you, Kookie. And I really don’t want to take sides but—”

“Then don’t take sides. Nobody asked you to take sides.” It’s Jungkook’s time to interrupt this uncomfortable conversation. He has no idea why Taehyung brought it up in the first place. “We’re good, Tae. I mean, let’s just pretend everything’s fine and honestly, I’m more worried about Noona’s health at the moment.” He pats Taehyung’s back, just like he did earlier. “And let’s please pretend this convo never happened and do me a favor and keep an eye on your just- for- the- name- girlfriend. She scares me.” Jungkook shudders visibly.

Turns around, heading for Namjoon and leaving Taehyung behind.

……………………

The moment you got back from your little trip to the nearest supermarket, an hour and thirty minutes later, it had been super awkward. For a minute, it felt like the whole trip was ruined. But of course, Taehyung and Jungkook took matters into their own hands. Just with a banter that made no sense, they managed to break the ice. 

And for your pleasure, no one has made it awkward for you, except Seoyeon and Liya. But in turn, it made you feel awfully guilty too. The thing is, the giddiness inside you—the butterflies, the warmth, the happiness that makes your chest feel like it's ten times too big—doesn't leave much room for guilt.

“I think I love you.”

An uncontrollable grin spreads across your face as the memories flood your mind. Not even in your wildest dreams  did you expect the day to unfold like this. 

That had been so unexpected. But what’s there to be surprised about? It’s Park Jimin. He’s unpredictable. He always amazes you. No wonder he chose a random ass time to confess. 

“I love you.”

Oh God, you want to jump up and down like a crazy school girl. 

Jimin loves you!

Park Jimin is in love! With you!

You wander your eyes to the man plaguing your mind completely. He’s helping Taehyung put the barbecue grill on. That was supposed to be on Jungkook, but the guy is otherwise occupied with you. Helping you to prepare dinner with Yoongi. Jimin’s attention is fully on the task but just as your eyes land on him, he raises his head. Eyes catching yours directly. As if he has an invisible line connecting to your mind. You bite on the inside of your cheeks to contain the cheeky smile. This is embarrassing on one hand. You two are acting like two teenagers. As if to prove your point, Jimin cocks his head to the side, eyes glinting. You blush furiously. 

Ridiculous.

“I’m telling you, we need to run.” Jungkook, luckily, grabs your attention. You break eye contact with Jimin. Jungkook has been talking about how Liya and Seoyoen are going to bomb South Korea. 

“If they’re doing that, then I’m staying. That is going to be a one helluva video.” Yoongi rejects Jungkook’s pre advice. 

“And who’s going to upload the video, when you die?” Jungkook argues. Not ‘if’ but ‘when’. The guy is serious about his theories. 

“Oh, c’mon…” You roll your eyes. “She’s just a CEO, she can’t bomb a country.” It even feels ridiculous to entertain his idea. 

“Uh huh,” Jungkook nods. “And her father is The Kim so, I’m saying she can bomb the world if she wants.”

“And where would she go after destroying the world?” You question. 

“To space, obviously. I bet she already has it planned.” Jungkook squints his eyes suspiciously at the said woman. You follow his gaze to find Liya hunched up over the pile of logs that would turn into a camp fire within a few minutes. She’s working with Namjoon, Yoona, and Seoyoen. 

“Yah! Will you stop talking nonsense? We have to get the dinner ready in time for dinner, not breakfast.” Yoongi interrupts yours and Jungkook’s keen inspection. 

“Why the hell it’s always us three who end up in cooking duties?” You look down at the makeshift kitchen you’ve made under a tent. You’re not  really cooking per say. Just getting the things prepped for the grill. Still, it’s you three who are doing it. 

“Take that as a compliment, Noona. That’s because our food is delicious.” Jungkook gives you a cocky smile. “And let’s make sure we prepare the best last meal for us.” His smile drops as he goes back to squinting at Liya. 

“You watch too many films, kid? Do you even have time for college? What are they teaching you these days?” Yoongi hands you a bowl of mushrooms. Jungkook sighs. 

“Bunch of stuff that won’t be of help if an evil woman decides to bomb the country.” Jungkook sadly answers Yoongi’s question, making you snort. Jungkook is so far gone in his fantasy that there’s no bringing him back now. It’s just like when he was super interested in finding your antennas those days. 

“Just let him, Yoongi.” You say to Yoongi as Jungkook starts describing how exactly Liya is about to destroy the world. With a gentle shake of your head and smiling to yourself,  you avert your gaze back to Jimin. This time, however, you do it at the wrong time. 

Poor timing and bad luck!

Just as you avert your gaze, you catch Liya has changed his earlier position. She’s now walking over to Jimin and Taehyung, slowly. Her arms crossed and her long hair flows behind her like a silk scarf. Just like that, your stomach drops. So does your smile.

Fuck!

Oh, for God’s sake, you can’t be like that. What are you? Freaking fifteen? You can’t act like an obsessive girlfriend. You know Jimin loves you and you know the situation with Liya. Then what the hell do you need more? You need to grow up and get your shit together. 

You try your best to shift your eyes away. Into what you’re doing. You do your best not to feel bitter. Only to fail miserably. A flash of green crosses your eyes as you keep staring at the way Liya slowly approaches Jimin. It’s like your eyes are literally glued to the scene and you’ve no option but to watch. You keep watching as Liya stands next to Jimin. She says something to him that gets him to bend down to her height and listen properly. 

Your stomach churns awfully. 

They’re standing too far away for you to be able to listen. And you’re bad at reading lips. So, you have no idea what passes between them when Jimin gently nods. Then much to your horror Jimin mutters something to Taehyung and starts walking away, followed by Liya. He throws a brief glance at your way but that’s not enough to understand anything. They walk away from the campsite. Your eyes follow the figures until they disappear in the darkness. 

Where did they go?

Why?

Oh, God, this is ridiculous!

Why are you being so paranoid anyway? You don’t know where they went?

Exactly! That’s the problem here. You don’t know where she took Jimin. But there’s nothing to be so worked up about. Maybe they walked down to the vehicles. Maybe Liya forgot to bring something. Or maybe she needed to use the bathroom. The bathhouse and the other facilities are located a bit farther from the campsite and it’s getting dark. It’s understandable if Liya doesn’t want to go there alone or with Seoyoen. 

This is totally not a big deal and you’re definitely not being a bitch. It doesn’t matter who he’s helping, you can understand Jimin helping a woman in need. Liya or not. 

“Where is my damn cousin?” Fortunately for you, Yoongi breaks your stupor as he looks around him. Noticing the obvious lack of a certain sun shine. Yet as in cue, just as the words leave Yoongi’s mouth a scream startle you all out of your bodies. 

“Fuck!” Jungkook and Yoongi curse aloud in unison. You all turn your head to where the sound came when Hoseok appears from behind a tent. 

“Fuck, what happened?” Yoongi asks him, wearing an expression torn between worry and confusion. Then as Hoseok answers in a pant, Yoongi’s expression completely morphed into something frustrated. 

“A freaking bug,” Hoseok points his finger back toward where he just appeared. “It was this big.” He brings his hands closer to imitate the bugs size, which is as he shows, the size of a coconut. 

“Are you sure that’s a bug?” Jungkook snorts. “Looks like a fucking scorpion or something to me.” 

At his words Hoseok’s face drains of color. “You think?” He takes a cautious glance back. 

“Oh my God! No, Hoseok!” You throw a glare at Jungkook. He shrugs. “There are no scorpions here, I’m sure. Fuck you Kook.” You nudge Jungkook’s ribs. 

“What? He’s the one who—”

“Enough!” Yoongi interrupts Jungkook. “Get the dinner done, kids. Yah! Hoseok-ah, help with this?” He shows a bowl across the table to Hoseok. Hoseok takes one look at it. 

“You know what? I’m no longer afraid of any bugs,” He states with a nod and turns around like a flash. “Or scorpions. In fact,” He holds a finger up. Doesn’t look at any of you as he starts walking away. “I’m going to get a pet scorpion.”

“That fucking…” Yoongi mumbles under his breath.

…………………………

It’s been twenty minutes since Jimin disappeared with Liya. Not that you’ve been counting the minutes… You’ve been counting every second. And every second feels like an eon. You don’t want to be like this, but you can’t help letting your mind spiral. They definitely didn’t go to the bathrooms. Who the hell spends this much time in a common bathhouse? Everyone has decided to park the vehicles from a little distance from the campsite. That would take five minutes to go and return. They clearly didn’t go to any of those places and you’re becoming restless. 

You eye Taehyung apprehensively. He knows where Jimin went. Should you ask him? It wouldn’t be weird either, since Taehyung knows about you. Yet at the same time you’d look like a possessive bitch. Why would you ask other people anyway? Why can’t you ask Jimin himself? You might not be in a standard relationship but the guy admits he loves you. And you love him in return. What more of a right do you want to shoot him a text and ask where he is? 

You grab your phone from the foldable chair next to you. Unlock it quickly and almost shoot the text when you notice the ‘sos’ on the top corner of the screen. No fucking connection. You groan internally before throwing the useless device away. Taehyung and J had to find a place that has no proper connections, didn't they? What if an emergency comes up? This is how people get slaughtered in movies. 

“Oh my God, Tae! This is ridiculous. You had no other ideas for a game than this?” Seoyeon whines, grabbing your attention. You might not like her much, but you can’t agree with her anymore. 

Taehyung is busy setting up the table for a game of spin the bottle.

“I did, but this was the best one.” Taehyung disregards his girlfriend. 

“How old are you?” Seoyeon rolls her eyes. 

“Just a year younger than you.” Taehyung yet again answers nonchalantly. Everything has been prepared. Food is ready. The grill is going. The camp fire is up. All you have to do is start the night. But the case is, two people are missing. You throw another hasty glance to where they disappeared earlier. 

Should you ask Taehyung or should you not? 

“And what? You want us to kiss each other?" Jin butts in, sporting a bottle of beer, J casually attached to his side. 

Taehyung pays his elder friend full attention. His eyes gleaming. “I like the idea of it very much,” he states happily, making half the table scrunch up their faces in repulse. “I mean, there are bunch of gorgeous women here—”

“Men too.” Jungkook quips. Looks a bit offended that Taehyung didn’t notice that. Taehyung blinks at Jungkook for half a second before picking up from where he left. 

“Yes, men too… So, it would be such a fun idea, but looking at all of your horrified faces, I guess that none of you want to kiss each other—except for me—”

“In your dreams Tae…” Namjoon grumbles. 

“You don’t have to admit it, Hyung.” Taehyung waves a casual hand in front of his face. “Anyway, considering this—”

“Oh for fuck’s sake! We decided to change the game.” J cuts Taehyung’s unnecessary speech. “Where the hell is Park Jimin?” Then she voices out the exact question in your mind. “Do we have to wait until it’s next year?” She glances around as if she can find a clue. 

Someone tries to answer that question. But before they could, a soft sound of approaching footsteps disturbed everyone. 

“Sorry.”

You snap your eyes to Jimin as he walks over to the table. A little breathless. Your eyes first land on his face, then travels across his body and stops where Liya’s hand is resting on his wrist. 

For God’s sake!

You have to bite the grimace back physically and swallow it down to keep your face neutral. You can’t cause a scene. You have no right to cause a scene. Besides, she's holding his wrist. 

Why’s she holding his wrist? 

Why the fuck is he allowing that?

The flash of green that slashes across your sight earlier slowly starts to engulf you whole. Travelling down your body through your veins. You clench your fists over your sweats, turning your gaze back to Jimin’s face. To find him already glancing at you. You force a smile into your lips. 

You can’t be a bitch. You can’t be a bitch. 

You’re an understanding matured woman!

You’re positive your smile came across as a sneer. Yet you don’t get to dwell on that issue when J sighs in immense relief. 

“Thank God!” She exclaims. “Thought you’d take fucking years. Sit down please, we have a game to play and food to eat.”

Jimin keeps his gaze on you. Doesn’t break eye contact as he gently free his hand from Liya’s hold. You almost feel happy but just as he takes his hand away, Liya hooks her arm through his. And you fail to keep your eyes on Jimin and shift it to Liya. Mistake. She’s glancing at you too. 

A tiny smirk appears on her lips before she starts dragging Jimin toward the table.

………………………….

“Why would I have to start this?” You grumble, holding the empty beer bottle in your hand. 

“Because you lost in the rock-paper-scissors.” Taehyung lets you know matter of factly. “Now, please spin the bottle, Li.” He taps the table. You sigh heavily. Like they promised, the game isn’t going to contain any kissing. Taehyung’s genius mind— as he says— has come up with the idea of combining it with the truth or dare. Truth or dare minus the truth because there’ll be no choices.

The rules are simple. You’ll now spin the bottle and when it stops, the person who’s behind the top end of the bottle will have to do the dare given by the person behind the bottom end of the bottle. It’s either doing the dare or chugging down a monstrous blast mixed by Yoongi, which he himself doesn’t know includes what. All he knows is that he mixed every type of alcohol in it. You’re positive that one of you is going to die tonight. Death can happen while trying to complete a stupid dare or drinking Yoongi’s drinks. 

With another heavy sigh you place the bottle on the table and spin it. Everyone falls silent as the bottle starts to spin, and spin, and spin. Then eventually stops. The mouth of the bottle pointing to Taehyung and the back pointing to Jungkook. 

Tangled noises of satisfaction flow across the table. Taehyung, however, doesn’t even look concerned at the fact that he got selected. He gives Jungkook an excited glance. 

“Bring it in, boy.” he squares his shoulders. You turn your head to look at equally elated Jungkook. God, this is going to be fun. Despite your skepticism, even you can’t help but grin. And it says a lot since you’re in an awful mood having to see Liya causally leaning against Jimin. 

“Please give him something impossible.” Yoona says to Jungkook with a straight face. Jungkook nods. 

“Okay, I… dare you to…” He purses his lips in contemplation. Then after a second of thinking he yells. “Do a body shot.” Clasps his hands. 

“On who?” Taehyung looks discouraged for a minute. 

“On anyone you want. You agreed we’re all a bunch of gorgeous women and men.” Jungkook shrugs. Scrunching up his nose adorably. 

“Okay…” Taehyung drags, scowling. His eyes jump from each person on the table. Now, Taehyung is a fucking meal himself but you’d die out of embarrassment if he tries to lick a drink up from your body. That’d be so weird. 

Taehyung’s eyes sweep over you and to Seoyoen. That would be the best, least weird and wise choice. Yet before anything, Seoeyoen lets out a horrified gasp. “Hell no!” Even shakes her head. 

If it was someone else, this would’ve turned into an uncomfortable silence. But fortunately it’s Taehyung and he just clicks his tongue. 

“Don’t worry I’m not going to embarrass you highness,” He stretches his hand toward Yoongi, silently requesting a shot. It’s just a normal shot of tequila instead of a monstrous blast. That one is reserved for losers. “Jimin-ah, do me the honor, please?” Taehyung gets to his feet after Yoongi hands him over the drink. The table breaks into a unified applaud and cheers. 

Jimin, however, chokes on his own spit. Does a comical failed motion of trying to push back in his chair with wide eyes as Taehyung reaches him. 

“No. No. No! What?” He shouts. “Why me?” His unexpected movements cause Liya to pull away from him. 

At least a good thing.

“Beacuse you’re my best friend?” Taehyung smiles cheekily at him. 

“We’re all your friends.” Jimin reasons. 

“Yeah and you wouldn’t mind if I….” Taehyung raises a brow. His expression is smug. And for a second you think he briefly glances over at you. Just for second, though and it’s over even before you can register it. Jimin’s face turns serious immediately.  “Oh, c’mon, Jiminie, we’ve done worse in college.” Taehyung kicks Jimin’s leg. Abandoning what he said earlier completely. 

J gasps. “I’m very interested in knowing what the worst is?” She leans forward over the table. “What did you do?” Questions. 

“I assure you…” Jimin looks at her over his shoulder. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing—”

“What do you mean, Jimin-ah?” Taehyung cuts Jimin off with a gasp. Offended. Then turns to J. “Trust me when I tell you, there’s nothing in this world we haven’t done—”

“Tae…” Jimin groans. Now you’re interested in knowing the story too. 

“Once we brought this girl to the dorm and—”

“Okay, do your fucking body shot.” Jimin snaps, interrupting Taehyung immediately. His face is the color of a tomato. Even Liya has turned red. Several noises of disappointment mixed in the air. 

“That’s ma boy!” Taehyung grins. Grabs a slice of lime and holds it for Jimin to take between his lips. 

“Can we just do the shot?” Jimin sighs. “C’mon that counts.” He looks at Jungkook. For a second Jungkook looks like he wouldn’t let Jimin go that easily. The dare was supposed to be Taehyung’s but Jimin’s the one who’s obviously suffering. And Jungkook is enjoying it to the fullest. Yet,much to Jimin’s relief Jungkook shrugs. 

“Yeah… can do that.” Jungkook nods. “You’ll take the whole year to do this, otherwise. Be quick, will you?” 

“Okay, fuck, okay… so, uh- how- um- can you do it on my palm?” Jimin innocently and adorably holds his palm out. Noises of disagreement break down again. 

“That’s not a fucking body shot!” Yoona is the first to protest, to your surprise. Then making it nothing, even Yoongi disagrees. 

“I thought you went to college. You don’t know how to do a body shot?” He raises a brow. 

“Why not? My palm is a part of my body?” Jimin argues. Everyone starts to put their two cents on the table. 

“No it’s not.”

“Be quick!”

“Abs, do it on your abs.”

“Oh my God, I’m embarrassed, I can’t even look at this.”

“This is fun!”

You don’t know if it’s fun or not. But despite your knowledge you’re currently cackling up. So hard  you have to use Jungkook as leverage. Everyone is laughing hard. Even Jin is laughing disregarding his flushed face. J and Yoona have joined the battle field on the other side of the table and are convincing Jimin to lift his shirt up. 

“This is freaking assault you know? I’m not drunk enough to do this.” Poor guy practically cries as his best friend kneels in front of him. Yoona holds the shot glass slightly above Taehyung’s mouth, aligned with Jimin’s defined abs. Somewhere between the chaos everyone has come to a compromise that Taehyung doesn’t have to lick the shot over Jimin’s body. Instead of that, Yoona pours the shot across Jimin’s abs and the drink would pool in Taehyung’s mouth. 

You do a half scream and half squeak as Yoona starts pouring. Cheers, yells, and laughter fill the air as the liquid disappears from the glass. When it’s completely gone Yoona takes the glass away, and walks over to her flush- faced boyfriend. Sits on his lap. Taehyung rushes to his feet. A proud and smug look on his face. He doesn’t even bite the slice of lime as he gives a look to Jungkook. 

It takes everyone at least five minutes to sober up and pay attention to the game again while paying eating as well. In the course of five minutes the bottle is on Taehyung’s hand. As the target of the previous round, he gets to spin the bottle now. With residue laughter here and there, everyone gets ready to face a cruel destiny when Taehyung spins the bottle. After a few spins, it this time stops pointing at Yoongi and Hoseok. Hoseok receiving the bottom end of the bottle, making his face lighten up like the morning sun. 

“Fuck, yes. I waited for this moment my whole damn life.” Hosoek bellows, making Yoongi roll his eyes. Just like Taehyung, Yoongi looks unphased. 

You steal a glance at Jimin, who still looks like he wants to throw himself off a bridge but is recovering. Liya, however, looks like crawling into a hole. So does Seoyoen. Jimin smiles at you when he catches you glancing. You return the smile easily this time. That smile, however, lasted only a second as Liya yet again leans against him. You try your best not to glare at her. You tear your gaze away to look at what’s happening in the game just after you catch Jimin putting a short distance between him and Liya. 

Well. That is awkward. 

“Okay, here’s your dare, Hyung.” Hoseok rubs his hands together. “Tell me what you said to that cute barista the other day.” Hoseok leans against his chair, putting a leg over the other. 

“Sorry, what?” You scowl. Thinking you caught only a part of the dare. 

“Boo! You’re killing the fun, man. Give him a real dare.” J holds her thumb down. 

“This is a real dare. Now listen, that man over there,” Hoseok gestures at Yoongi, who now looks exasperated. “Doesn’t know how to flirt—”

“How the fuck do you know that?” Yoongi gasps, offended. 

“Because I do. But he flirts with the barista at our favourite café the other day she looks like about to fucking cum.”

“That’s too much information.” Jin butts in just to get rudely ignored. 

“I want to know what he told her.” Hosoek explains his dare. 

“You’re so fucking nosy, Hyung.” Namjoon shakes his head in disapproval. 

“I’m just curious.”

“That’s exactly what being nosy means. Being too fucking curious.” Namjoon huffs. 

“Well either way, you’re not getting that out of me, Hobba. I’ll die rather than telling you about my sex life.” Yoongi flips Hoseok off. Then before anyone can say anything he pours his own drink into a glass and knocks it down in one go. A millisecond of silence passes before Yoongi groans aloud and bangs his head on the table, dramatically, with a soft thud. “Holy fuck! What’s in this shit?” He shakes his head. Looks like he’s actually in pain. “I’m gonna die.” Grumbles and after another few seconds he finally raises his head. Facing all of you who are gaping at him with opened mouths. 

“You made that drink, Hyung.” Jungkook points out. Still very horrified. 

“Yeah. And I should’ve done the dare, fuck, this is—” He stops whatever he wanted to say to stuff his mouth with some pork bellies. Probably to get the awful taste away. 

“I’m going to do any dare. No questions.” Jin mumbles to himself. And all agree. 

Starting from there everyone almost does every dare. Fortunately, you are only dared to throw a pickup line at Taehyung which makes you cringe hard but everyone else impressed. Except for Jimin, of course. Guy is pouting at you hard. On another day, you would’ve become mad at the prospect of him being jealous when he’s the one who has a woman attached to his hip. But to his credit, he is actively putting distance between him and Liya. It is Liya who doesn’t pick up the sign. 

And the only other person who chooses a drink— despite Yoongi’s warnings— is Namjoon. He refuses to give a lap dance to Seoyeon. Understandably so. But the thing is that he makes sure that all of you’ve got another live witness as to why you shouldn’t try the drink even by a mistake. 

Yoona spins the bottle for what must be the twentieth time at night. To keep it fair, you all have been changing your positions across the table, which has put you next to Jimin now. Taehyung on your other side. Liya has to sit across from Jimin. Yoona’s bottle stops pointing between Liya and Seoyeon this time. Seoyeon earns the chance to give the dare. After all casual drinks- not the monstrous blast- she looks a bit relaxed and seems to be enjoying the game. A wicked grin appears on her face as she wiggles her eyebrows at her best friend. Liya rolls her eyes. Being the only sober person in the group at the moment. 

“Please, don’t make me kill you, Seo.” Liya warns Seoyeon even before she can start speaking. 

“Oh, you know I’m not that unhinged,” Seoyeon smiles softly. Someone else gasps but no one pays that any mind. “Okay, I know we said that we’re going to stay away from the kisses but, I dare you to kiss someone… on the lips.” She bites down on her lip. 

And like that the wind gets knocked out of your lungs. In a very bad way. The soft smile you’ve been adorning on your face, instantly vanishes. You sober up immediately. The silver of green you’ve been feeling that has gone away during the night, returns. 

Liya isn’t obviously going to kiss just someone. No. Why would she, when she has her boyfriend right here? Seouyeon didn’t specify who Liya should kiss, which gives Liya plenty of freedom to kiss whoever she wants. And everyone knows that she’s going to kiss her boyfriend. It’s the easiest dare that has been given to someone so far. Liya just has to kiss her boyfriend. 

Your heart clenches weirdly inside your ribcage. A strange urge to storm away from the premises gets to you. You really don’t want to sit here and watch Liya kiss Jimin. No. You’re too weak for that. Too jealous for that. Even the thought is making your eyes sting and throat tight. 

“Seoyoen…” Taehyung sighs. Seoyoen looks at him with disbelief. 

“What?” She questions. 

“We agreed, there ain’t going to be any kissing.” Taehyung reminds. 

“No kissing other people!” Seoyeon argues. “Nobody said anything about kissing their partners. It’s totally fine.”

Nobody says anything to it. Everyone is gaping at Liya as if kissing her partner would be the weirdest thing to do. 

Partner!

Jimin is her boyfriend!

Just because he loves you, fact doesn’t change. You’re still the other woman. Maybe you should actually leave. That would catch unwanted attention, though. 

“What?” Seoyeon questions from no one in particular. Then she gestures to Liya. “C’mon, complete your dare.” 

A minute passes. Then Liya gets to her feet. You gulp harshly, your left leg starting to bob up and down crazily. 

You can’t be here.

You can’t just watch Jimin kiss someone else. 

The clog in your throat tightens to a point you actually find it hard to breathe. Your stomach lurches, making all the food you ate threatening to reappear. You avert your gaze to your lap, staring at the hem of your cozy shorts. 

It’s okay. It’s fine. 

It’s just a kiss. 

A kiss. 

Jimin is going to kiss someone else. 

You screw your eyes shut. You can’t cry. Nor can you say anything. All you can do is wait until it’s over. You feel like all your insides are melting away, leaving a hollow shell behind. You imagine that Liya must’ve made it all the way to Jimin across the table now, who’s just sitting next to you. You try to guess where she exactly stands right now. Behind you? Or did she walk over to the other side of him? 

Maybe this is the karma for being a bitch. You deserve this. If you don’t look, then it would be allright. What you can’t see, can’t hurt you right? 

But what about the knowledge, though. You know Jimin is kissing Liya while sitting right next to you. Even your ears start to ring. The pain inside your chest grows higher and higher, mixing up with a strange anger that makes you want to scream. 

Then, just as you think it’ll happen, you feel a warm hand on your thigh, forcing your bobbing leg to still. A very familiar touch. It prompts you to shoot open your eyes. Just as you do, Jimin’s voice fills the sudden silence that has been filling the air. 

“I’m not doing it.” He states with a stern edge. Someone slowly gasps. Your jaw drops. Liya, who had only made it halfway across the table, stops dead on the track. Yet it’s not she who questions Jimin. 

“What?” Seoyeon scowls deep, seemingly at a loss. 

“I said I’m not doing it.” Jimin repeats as an answer to her question. 

“Why? Like, are you shy to kiss your girlfriend in front of us? You let your best friend lick tequila across your stomach.” Seoyeon raises a brow. “C’mon kiss your girlfriend Park Jimin.” Huffs. 

“No.” Jimin mutters again.

“Why the fuck not?” Seyeon’s scowl deepens. 

“Because it’s fucking weird to kiss someone who I haven’t even touched properly for years.” Jimin speaks aloud this time. 

“Jimin.” Liya finally lets her voice out. Saying Jimin’s name in a manner of a warning. Yet it does nothing but make Jimin scoff. 

“Oh for fucks sake! We’re not in public, with your family, or with anyone else that we have to pretend to be in a relationship that we’re not.” Jimin gets to his feet. The chair stumbles back at the force he does so. “These people,” He gestures around the table. “They already know we fucked up and probably know we are still fucking up. So, let’s just not do this, Liya.” He turns around with that. You stay still. As if a single movement from you would cause a bomb detonation. “I’m fucking tired of pretending.” Jimin almost walks away when Liya stops him. 

“Not in a relationship?” She muses. “I thought we’re even getting engaged, Jimin.” Says while still standing awkwardly where she stopped earlier. She looks uncomfortable. A faint flush coloring her face. Maybe, Jimin should take this conversation away. Somewhere private. As much as you appreciate him not kissing Liya, this is getting painful. 

“Well that’s the thing Liya. You thought we’re getting engaged.” Jimin points a finger at Liya. He doesn’t look exactly mad. Yet there's a hint in his voice that tells you the damn is about to be broken. “You thought, you decided, and you planned. Not me. And guess what? I’m done. I’m done acting like everything is normal when it’s not.” He takes a step. Only to be interrupted again. 

“So, you’re suddenly tired?” Liya closes the distance between Jimin and her. Raises her hand to grab Jimin’s arm but then decides against it. “Are you sure that’s all? That’s why you don’t want to do this?” With every word her voice raises. “Are you sure, it’s not because you fell head over heels for my sister?” Liya yells out those last words with a finger pointed at you. 

You suck in a harsh breath when everything falls into a silence yet again. This time, though, it’s as if everyone disappears. Leaves rustle in the wind. Crickets chirp in the near distance. The roar of the river leaks into the campsite. The fire crackles softly. Yet not a single sound is made by a human. 

You wait with a bated breath for Jimin to just deny it and walk away. Like he should. Because that's the right thing to do. 

“No,” At last Jimin mumbles. You let out a breath in relief. “We were doomed a long time ago. We were walking down to this moment from years, Liya. We were already fucked up even before I knew her. So, no. This has nothing to do with her.” He says, rather calmly. For a second, you think it’s over. Well, you should learn not to expect miracles all the time. 

Liya scoffs. “Yes? That’s the only reason?” She raises a brow. Her perfect expression slowly slipping away, reminding you of the day at the club. “But why can’t you deny it?” This time she actually grabs Jimin’s t- shirt sleeve. “Deny it, Jimin. Say that you haven’t fallen for her and this has nothing to do with my sister.” Pushes Jimin. 

Liya should learn when to give up. You feel a headache forming. The day has swung into darkness yet again. Why the hell is your life like this? Why are you going through a roller coaster? Bad moment to good one then to another bad one.

You bite into your lower lip, preparing yourself to hear Jimin saying that he doesn’t like you in that way at all. You know it’d hurt but you would understand. Of course, you would. Those words, however, don’t come. You throw a hesitant glance at Jimin. Wondering. Confused. 

He’s taking too long. He’s staying silent. And sometimes, silence speaks volumes. 

Your heart starts to hammer inside your ribcage. 

No!

Jimin needs to speak up. 

“Say it!” Liya screeches. “Say you don’t—”

“I’m sorry.” Jimin blurts and takes his departure for real this time. Leaving a bunch of dumbfounded people back. You feel the sudden pressure on your body. Heaviness of the stares. Burn of glares. Even without raising your head to look at it, you know that everyone is looking at you.

A beat passes before a second chair pulls back. 

“I should- I- uh- check on him.” You hear Taehyung says before the sounds of receding footsteps reach your ears. You don’t dare to look at anyone. You keep your gaze on the table, suddenly finding an immense interest in a stain.

“Are you happy?” Liya’s voice, however, prompts you to turn your head. 

“Why’s it her fault when your damn boyfriend is the one who refused to kiss you?” Jungkook barks out of nowhere. Slightly startling you and several others. You pay attention to find him glaring at Liya with an intensity enough to burn her down. But if you think his sudden raised voice is startling, the next voice makes your soul leave your body.

“Don’t fucking defend her, Jeon Jungkook!” Seoyeon bangs the table with both of her palms. Stands up. “You don’t have to baby her all the fucking time when she’s the one who’s wrong. If she can do bitchy things, then she can own up to it too, don’t you think?” Yells. Jungkook opens his mouth to refute but before he can get a word out a third voice booms across. 

“Shut the fuck up!” J’s the one who snaps this time. “All of you.” She adds. Tongues the inside of her cheek. Then turns to Jungkook. “She isn’t wrong you know? You need to fucking get your head out of your ass and see things, Jungkook. You need to fucking stop following a woman who doesn’t want you.” Her head turns back to you. Doesn’t look at anyone in particular as she continues. “And you guys? You need to talk. Get your shits figured. Like, I’m fucking tired at how you’re making every damn moment about you. I’m done watching your petty dramas. Either fucking grow up or please don’t ever be a part of any plans. You all are so fucking selfish.” With that she gets up like a flash. Leaves the table without another word. 

Jin doesn’t even waste a second before he follows J. 

You feel the sting on your eyes worsen, threatening to sooth it with tears that you don’t want to shed. You have no right to cry. Every word J said was true. That’s why it hurts so hard. Every moment spent with a close proximity with Seoyeon or Liya, had been a disaster. It had always been thick of tension and no space for actual fun. You crashed her birthday. Now this. You know they— Taehyung and J— worked so hard to make this trip fun and memorable. They worked for it and you ruined it in a blink. 

You are selfish. 

You keep your gaze down, trying your utmost not to cry when you hear someone else shuffling as well. You catch a brief glance of Namjoon getting to his feet out of the corner of your eyes. He holds his hand for Yoona. 

“Let’s get some sleep. You must be tired.” He says as Yoona closes her palm over his. The next people to walk away are Hoseok and Yoongi. They don’t even utter a word as they do so.

That leaves only you, Jungkook, Seoyeon, and Liya to face each other. You don’t want to look at any of them. Hell, you can’t even look at Jungkook. You don’t know what exactly J means when she calls Jungkook out but it makes sense as well. Jungkook shouldn’t be defending you. You’re the wrong one. Taking your side makes him a bad person as well. And that’s not fair because he’s the most genuinely good- hearted person you’ve ever known. 

Yet he doesn’t leave. Even after his best friend talks to him that way, he doesn’t leave you. You lift your teary gaze up when you hear his voice next to you. 

“Bed, Noona?” Like Namjoon did with Yoona, Jungkook holds his hand for you. You don’t want to rely on him. You don’t want to make him look like a bad person but he leaves you with no option when he bends down, grabs your hand and pulls you into your feet. “Let’s talk later.” He mumbles before starting to walk toward your tent, dragging you along with him. 

…………………………………………….

Jimin paces aimlessly in front of his car. His mind is going haywire. Jumping from one thing to another. All the things that happened and the inevitable consequences of them. He's running risk calculations in his head while pacing around to burn out his nervous energy. 

He can’t believe that he did that. Is about to lose his mind. It feels too hard. There’s too much pressure on his shoulders. He’s scared. Wishes you are here. Maybe a simple hug from you would solve everything. Your smell would make him relax. Just a simple hug. 

He just fucked up. Without a doubt so. Yet he isn’t regretting it. Not even a bit. This would cause chaos that he can’t even bring himself to clear up. This would mark the end of his career. He—despite all the advice, and everything he’s been through— had let everyone down. Still, he would’ve done it again. Because fuck everything, he refuses to be the coward who kisses someone else in front of you just for the show. And nor would he admit he doesn’t love you. Because how can he? That feels wrong. It is wrong. He loves you too much to be able to do that. 

“That’s not going to help.” Taehyung’s voice makes him stop his pacing. Sometimes he can’t understand what everyone has against his peaceful pacing. Taehyung had followed him right away. And has been leaning against his car watching his pacing. 

“I know.” Jimin simply says. Yet before he can continue his energy wasting, Taehyung stops him. 

“Need a smoke, maybe?” He fishes inside his pocket. Pulls out a pack. Jimin doesn't smoke much. But times like these it feels good to embrace a bad old habit. He nods once before reaching Taehyung. 

Within a minute he finds himself propped against his car hood, next to Taehyung. Blowing out soft puffs of cloud into the windy night air. 

“That was pretty good, though.” Taehyung breaks the silence first. 

“Was it?” Jimin questions. He doesn’t mean to sound harsh or bitter but it comes out as that. 

“Course, it was. It was fucking satisfying. And I love you decided to say fuck it.”

“Yes, right?” Jimin chuckles. “Now you can be a proud friend of loser CEO who’s about to fuck his company up.” He throws the half burnt cigarette down. That shit isn't helping. All he can feel is his throat burn. He steps on it. 

“I don’t give a fuck, Jimin. And you’re not going to fuck up the company. We will find a way.” Teahyung eyes the way Jimin crushes the cigarette as if it personally offended him. 

“Yeah? Like what? We would need a fucking miracle Tae. I- just- fuck, you all worked your asses off for this company. You all have been working day and night for the upcoming launch and I just—”

“Do you really love her?” Taehyung interrupts Jimin’s rant. “Li I mean.” Clarifies even though they both know who he’s referring to. Jimin takes a second, drowning in guilt. He can’t believe he’s fucking up Because of love.  He never thought that would be the case. Yet he can’t deny it. 

So, he nods with a loud exhale. “Yes.” Answers quietly. 

“Listen man, like I always said, I know shit about love. And I’m not someone who should give advice since, I am as fucked up as you are. But if you love her, then you love her.” A little shrug. Taehyung throws away his cigarette butt as well. “I mean, I’m pretty sure the feeling is worth all the trouble.” Pats Jimin’s shoulder. 

It feels weird when Taehyung is serious. It doesn’t matter how many times Jimin has witnessed it. Not much maybe. Probably a couple times. Feels weird nonetheless. Jimin doesn’t even know what to say. Because Taehyung is speaking facts. And Jimin is speechless. Luckily or unluckily for him, another voice saves him from having to speak. 

“Worth it?” Both Jimin and Taehyung turn their heads to catch Jin and Hoseok approaching them. Former being the one who just voiced out. “Is that so?” Jin adds as they finally come to a halt in front of two friends. 

“Oh, c’mon, Hyung!” Taehyung whines. Jimin knows that among all his friends Jin isn’t going to let him slip without calling his shit out. 

“What?” Jin snaps. Throws a glare at Taehyung. Then his full attention is on Jimin. “I mean if it was worth it, fine. Good for you. I just hope you have a plan, boss.” He raises a brow. “Tell me what it is?” Crosses his hands across his chest. Jin looks downright terrifying when he’s in that mood. They used to make jokes saying it’s his ‘hyung’ mode. 

Jimin only gulps harshly. He has nothing to say. 

“Yeah? Nothing?” So, Jin presses at Jimin’s silence. “Yet you decided to play the hero like that? What were you thinking, Jimin? That you were the main character of some fucking tragic romance?” 

“What the fuck, Hyung? Can you please have it easy? Why the hell does it have to be a tragic romance?” Hoseok clicks his tongue. Looks so ready to yank Jin away, if he doesn’t shut up. 

“Because this ain’t a fucking book, Hoseok. This is fucking life and things aren’t going to fall into places by themselves.” Jin half yells. Then composes himself. “When you accepted that money from Kim, all those years ago,” He points an accusatory finger toward Jimin. Even though he is standing from Jimin a good five feet away, Jimin feels the jab in his chest. “I asked you not to do it, Park Jimin. I almost fucking begged you on my knees. I did my very best to convince you that we could’ve made it either way. You were—” Jin clenches his teeth. “You were a stubborn idiot. And so did I tell you that you’ll fuck everything up if you don’t figure your shit out before this could happen. All you had to do was be fucking patience Jimin. At least you could’ve done that. We could’ve found a way to—”

“So what, Hyung?” Jimin finally snaps. He knows what Jin says is true but something makes him see red. This is not fair. He did what he did. And he wanted to make all of them proud. Wanted to fulfil everyone’s dreams. “What do you say I should’ve done? Keep pretending? Are you fucking suggesting that I should’ve kissed Liya?” Jimin takes a second to breathe in. He doesn’t want to fight. Not with his friends. “I love Lil…..” A pause. “ I love her. I already fucked up so many times. I- I—” Another heavy sigh. “I know I'm a bad person. I cheated on my girlfriend. I’m a fucking asshole because I didn’t even hesitate doing that—but I don’t want to do the same to Lil as well. I don’t want to hurt her. I’m not hurting her.”

Jimin swears that he didn’t intend to say any of that out loud. But it's already out and all of his friends are gaping at him as if he’s grown an extra head. 

“Fuck!” Then Jin groans aloud. “Fuck, Jimin.” He repeats. 

“Fuck, indeed!” Jimin agrees with a nod. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” He looks straight into Jin's eyes. Then at his other two friends. He owes them the biggest apology. 

“Yah! It’s fine.” Taehyung nudges his side. “We can make this work guys. C’mon, Hyung!” He says to Jin. “This was bound to happen one day and we all knew it. We all knew our stupid friend was falling for that woman.” Adds. Making Jimin gives him a stare. Confused. Offended. 

“What?” Hoseok answers for his questioning stare. “You think we are blind or something? Of course, it was fucking obvious. But I didn’t see that thing coming. I really thought you’d kiss Liya. I’ll give you that.” He shrugs, coming to stand on Jimin’s other side. “I don’t know about the mess but at least you’re progressing, kid.” He curls an arm around Jimin’s shoulders. “You’re doing things the right way, even though,” He eyes Jin. “It’s going to cost you.”

Jin sighs heavily. “You’re an idiot, Park Jimin.” Says. But this time with a small smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. 

“You’re not mad?” Jimin mumbles weakly. 

“Course, I’m mad.” Jin rubs a hand over his face. “But unfortunately for me, I happened to be friends with you and as much as I’d love to beat the shit out of you and leave, I can’t. Too late for that. So, I guess we’re ride or die.” 

“It’s his way of saying, he loves us.” Taehyung says matter-of- factly. 

“Fuck, no!” Jin cringes. 

“It is.” Hoseok agrees with Taehyung. 

“Enough bullshit guys,” Jin’s small smile disappears. “We need a plan.” States. “And we need one quickly. I mean, we couldn’t find a shit about Kim that would’ve helped us to hold against him if he threatens us with pulling away.  We were supposed to have enough time to do that.” He raises a brow at Jimin. Jimin visibly winces at his words. Jin is going to hold that for a while. Even though he wouldn’t actually give a double fuck if he has to choose. “Now since we don’t, let me remind you, we’re on a ticking bomb. We have to do something before everything goes down the drain.” 

“What about, Joon.” Taehyung suddenly perks up. Every eye falls upon him. 

“You mean, Namjoon?” Hoseok asks. “Like our friend Namjoon?”

“You know another Namjoon as well? How many Namjoons do you know?” Taehyung furrows. 

“Okay, so it’s our Namjoon. What about him?” Hoseok leans forward so he can have a better look at the younger. 

“He works in ‘Blindside’ guys.” Taehyung says as if that would make sense. When it doesn’t and everybody keeps gaping at him, he straightens up. “He works in ‘Blindside’. A fucking news magazine that digs their noses into every type of shit they can. I’m pretty sure they exposed that politician a few years ago.”

Suddenly what he says makes all the sense. The implication is clear. Yet Jimin doesn’t see any hope. Any point. 

“We had the best investigators work on this shit for months, Tae. Why do you think a smart guy who works for a news company would be able to do anything?” Jimin glances at Taehyung skeptically. 

“First, I don’t think he’s just a smart guy. I think he’s capable of more than he’s showing. And second, maybe that’s the problem, guys. Maybe, we’re aiming too high when we should aim low. Maybe someone small can do what someone powerful can’t. Maybe the problem isn’t about the talent at all. Maybe the problem is about loyalty” Taehyung sticks to his point. 

“What do you mean? The investigators we hired are fucking us up?” Hoseok pins Taehyung with an intense stare.

“Can be, can’t it? This is Kim we’re dealing with. He can buy the damn government if he wants. What’s a few investigators?” Taehyung shrugs. 

“Do you know, if that’s the case then Kim already knows we are after him?” Jimin folds his arms across his chest.

“Maybe.” Taehyung shrugs. “He won’t know shit if we assign someone trustworthy.”

“Okay, hypothetically, let’s say, the ‘Blindeside’ can get some info. But then who’s going to stop them from publishing that to the public. We need blackmail material. Something to hold against him. If it actually ruins Kim, that means we’re ruined too.” Jin points out. 

“It’s not the ‘Blindside’ that finds the info, it’s Namjooon.” Taehyung looks smug. 

“And what made you think that Namjoon would want to operate an illegal investigation to dig the Kim’s dirt?” 

Teahyung doesn’t answer Jin’s question right away. He turns to Hoseok. “Because he's a friend?” 

Hoseok chuckles. “I don’t think they want to be our friends anymore. Besides, we would need much more convincing to get him to agree to do something like that. A closer friendship.” 

Following his words, Jimin’s eyes fall over to Jin even though he doesn’t mean to. It’s only when Jin scowls that Jimin realises it’s not only him who has done that. “What?” Jin barks. 

“I’m sure you know someone, who’s extremely close with Namjoon?” Taehyung suggestively smirks. 

“Don’t. Even. Think about it guys. She’s not being a part of this mess.” Jin states sternly. Jimin doesn’t blame him at all. He doesn’t want to make you a part of this mess as well. He wants to keep you away. Protected. Jin wants the same thing and that’s fine. So, he beats Taehyung into whatever he tries to say. 

“No, you’re right, Hyung. Let’s just ask Namjoon—if he agrees, great. If not, I’ll come up with something.” He pats Taehyung’s back. Then does same to the Hoseok. “It’s late. Have some rest.” Leans away from his car. “And don’t worry, I’ll apologise from everyone. I’m not ruining your trip, Tae.” Says before, walking over to Jin. “Thanks, Hyung!” Mumbles awkwardly. An awkward pat follows that. 

…………………………………..

You had refused to talk about what happened with Jungkook. Even after he offered  multiple times. You simply  weren’t ready. Besides, you believed there wasn't anything left to talk about. However, you still wanted to know how he felt. Especially, after J yelled at him. He had assured you that it was fine. And that he would talk to J in the morning and they’d figure it out like they always did. You could only wish that you hadn’t ruined another relationship. Which is why you also wanted to talk to J as soon as possible. Maybe not only to her. But to everyone. You had to wait till the morning to do that, though. 

So, you and Jungkook had spent the night watching a movie which neither of you paid attention to. Jungkook knew exactly how to distract you with the right topics. He did a good job making sure you didn’t wallow in your misery. At least until sleep won him over and he dozed off on your shoulder.

Now it’s finally early morning and you know the dawn has cracked, you want to go out and take a deep breath maybe. You might as well start this dreaded day early. You adjust your body to the left slowly, being careful not to awake the peacefully asleep muscle bunny on your shoulder. After laying in the same position with Jungkook’s heavy body leaning against you, you feel like your body is about to snap in half. You need to get out. 

You do your best in holding Jungkook’s head gently and slipping out from under him. Then place his head gently on a pillow. He only huffs in sleep. You cover him in the throw blanket before finally exiting the tent. 

The faint glow of the morning greets you as soon as you step outside. You close the zipper door before turning around to make your way to the bathhouse. Only to stop halfway when your eyes land on a figure sitting at the table. Nobody had bothered to clean the table the previous night. It's still covered in leftover foods, empty glasses, and beer bottles. And sitting in one of the chairs is Park Jimin. Simply going through his phone. You don’t know if the right thing to do is avoid talking to him or not. Before you can decide, however, your legs make the decision for you. 

In a second, you find yourself approaching Jimin. He turns around, probably hearing your footsteps. Any doubt you had about talking to him vanishes like dew in the morning under sunlight, when his face lightens up. Immediately. Even a small smile breaks across his otherwise pale face. You can’t help the warmth that shoots through your veins. An instant relief washes over you. 

“Hey!” You mumble when you finally reach him. He shuffles to his feet. 

“Hey!” Greets you back. Voice barely a whisper. 

“How- um… how are you doing?” You begin hesitantly.

“Like shit, actually.” Jimin says, making you softly snort. At least he’s honest. 

“Haven’t you slept?”

“I didn’t want to. I- uh- like you were awake so…” He drags. Shrugs. “Couldn’t have slept anyway either.”

You pout. Nod. Then fall into a silence. Not awkward. No. It’s peaceful and relaxing. It’s like meditating to look at Park Jimin. 

“Do you wanna talk maybe? I mean somewhere private?” After a blissful second of silence, Jimin blurts out. “I want to. I just- uh—”

“Yes.” You stop his unnecessary rambling. If he wants to talk, then you want to talk. He doesn’t need to come up with reasons. You don’t give a fuck. If it’s wrong, so be it. What’s there to go wrong anyway. “Please.” You add in the end. A little breathless. 

Jimin nods with a soft smile. You think he looks so relieved. 

…………………………

You stand near Jimin’s car. Morning gentle breeze plays with your untamed, wild hair as you ogle Jimin like you’ve never seen him before. Feeling your heart doing weird skips. Your breath tangling and your body getting warm. Strange. Jimin isn’t even doing anything. Is simply existing but you’re about to turn into a puddle. 

You’ve just arrived in this place and have been staring at each other for a few seconds now. You clear your throat as you finally manage to tear your gaze away. “So…” You start, hoping Jimin will pick up from there and actually talk. He doesn’t. Instead, he surprises you when he suddenly grabs your hand. Yanks you forward. Pulls you into his chest and curls his arms around you protectively. Hides his face in your neck, sighing in relief. You only let out a gasp. 

“I just wanted to hold you, Spring Roll… I- God… You feel so good.” Jimin mutters into your neck. Inhales deeply. As if he just found his source of energy. You melt in his hold. Wrap your own arms around his body. Rub your hand across his back. 

“Yeah?” You ask, nodding. “Feel good now?”

“A lot.”

A silence. 

“Thank You.” Then you say from nowhere. Even you don’t know where that came from. Jimin pulls away from you. 

“For what?” Cups your face. 

You drag in a deep breath. You’ve had a long two hours to think things through after Jungkook fell asleep. During that time, you’ve come to realize how much you appreciate Jimin’s actions. Even though you would’ve never wanted him to do that. Even though you would want him to choose the easy way. 

“For not ki-kissing her. For n-not saying you don’t love me or something,” you chuckle awkwardly to ease the suddenly fallen tension in the air. “I mean that would’ve sucked.”

“Holy fuck, Lil.” Jimin surprises you when his face falls. That’s not what you’ve expected. You look at him with wide eyes when he pulls you into his embrace once again. Arms holding you by your waist. “I’m so fucking sorry that I made you worried about that even for moment, and I’m- fuck baby, why would you have to thank me for that. I shouldn’t- It’s the right thing to do. The bare fucking minimum. I shouldn’t—”

“I understand, Jimin. I know. It’s okay. I really didn’t want you to do that.” You reluctantly withdraw from his hold so you can look at his face. Heart wrenching. 

“I’m not going to fuck up again, Lil.” He shakes his head. “Not going let you go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Now it’s your time to cup his face. With both hands. He leans into your touch like a flower leaning into the sun. You squeeze his cheeks slightly. Making those thick lips adorably pouty. Well, it’s not your fault his lips look so kissable. You can’t help but peck those. Once. Twice. And maybe three times for good luck. Makes Jimin giggle. 

A sweet symphony to your ears. Oh, how beautiful he looks. Oh, how damn in love you are with him. 

“You did good, baby.” You whisper softly. Just want to let him know you appreciate him. Maybe, it’s the bare minimum. But you’ve just started. It’s not fair your story is fucked up. It’s not fair you found the right person in the wrong world. It’s not fair how hard it is. 

Jimin nods. Taking the compliment. Good. Still, you have questions. Questions which have been plaguing your mind for the entire night. Making you sick with worry. 

“What would happen, though? Are you- um- will she?” You search for the right words to phrase. “What about the company? I don’t want you to lose anything Jimin.” Finally manage to voice out your concerns. 

Jimin places his hands on top of yours. Clutches them tightly. Then brings them down. “I think we figured something out, if Namjoon helps.” He worries into his bottom lip. Groans. “Ah! I don’t know… this is so…” Explains softly what they’re planning to do. You don’t know about the possibilities but it sounds like a plan to you. It’s better to have something than nothing, anyway. So, you let him know that. 

“It’ll work.” You say to him in the end. You’re still holding hands. Just standing under the morning sky. Sun rising in the horizon and creating that magic on Jimin. Making him even more ethereal. Breathtaking. Glowing. Isn’t it crazy he loves you? 

“It will.” Jimin agrees. A beat passes. “But Lil,” Adds. “Even if it doesn’t, I’m gonna choose you.” A playful chuckle. “I think I fucked up so hard, you know. I’m fucking neck deep in this, in you, I think I won’t be able turn back.” Admits. You feel your face heats up. His words make your stomach tingle so hard that you can’t breathe. 

“Jeesus, since when do you say such cheesy things?” You turn your gaze away. Jimin gasps. 

“I don’t know. Probably since I’m in love.” He leans to his left so he can peer at your face. “Do you hear me, lady? I’m in love. I love you.” Says aloud. Making you blush even harder. For a moment you consider running away from him just to hide your face somewhere. Ridiculous how shy you feel. Yet then you catch his gaze. Inviting. Hopeful. Expectant. Nervous. He’s expecting something. 

Your heart starts to beat in your throat. Your palms suddenly get clammy in his hold. You’re certain you fell for him first. You’ve been in love with him for so long. So, why wouldn’t you say the words? What makes you stop from confessing? 

Fear? 

You try to open your mouth. Before you can, however, Jimin lets go of your hands slowly. There’s no remorse in his face. Maybe a little disappointment. A hurt. Yet he smiles. 

“We should get ready for that water- sport- day bullshit.” Then he says, referring to the agenda of the day. Almost turns around to leave. That’s when the panic sets in you. Like a hard slap across your face. You practically jump forward, grabbing his t-shirt, and stopping him. Jimin looks at you with wide eyes. Surprised. 

A breath escapes you shakily. “I love you more.” Then follows the words. Rolling through your lips easily. Far easier than you expected. And you feel your chest deflate like a balloon losing air. A sudden pressure leaving you. It comes out easily. Just like your feelings. 

It is easy.

Just like that.

If you were afraid of something you couldn’t pinpoint earlier, it vanishes into thin air the moment the words are out. 

And Jimin’s face lights up as you watch. A small smile spreads across his lips which quickly grows into a huge grin. A grin that he can barely keep contained. In a second, he’s grinning like a mad man. Eyes sparkling. Not that familiar sparkle you’ve seen in his eyes when he’s amused. But a sparkle that makes you see the entire universe in his eyes. It’s like a clockwork that a grin splits across your face as well. Making both of you smile at each other like you’ve lost your minds. 

Jimin takes a step forward. Still holding into his pretty maddening grin. You stand your ground as he closes the little space between you. Lift your head up so he can easily rest his forehead against you. “Yeah?” He asks after he wraps his arms around your waist. You just nod. Apparently not it’s enough. He needs more. “Say it again.” Jimin mumbles. A soft command. 

This time, you pull it out easily. No ounce of hesitation or fear. “I love you Park Jimin. I’ve been in love with you probably since the day I met you.” You breathe out. 

“That’s good to hear.” Jimin squeezes you. “But say it again, Love.” Requests again. 

“I love you…” You mutter through your grin. Blushing hard. 

“Well, I love you more…” He places a soft kiss on your lips. You absolutely can’t help the giggle that escapes you, which is very contagious. Jimin joins you in that giggle pretty soon. You bet you look stupid. No wonder people say you look stupid when you’re in love. It’s good, however. You’re a happy idiot. All you want is to live in this moment forever. No matter how stupid you must look. You just need this. Safely wrapped in Jimin’s arms. Looking at his adorable grin. So close to him that you can map every perfect imperfection of his. Little freckles to his crooked tooth. Perfect. Park Jimin is. And you’re oh so madly in love. 

You’re about to say the magical words again when Jimin presses his lips to yours. This time, though, he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he deepens the kiss. Pressing hard on your lips and then capturing your bottom lip between his. Suckling softly. Moving against you gently. You melt into him. Sighing pleasantly. You have no idea how long he kissed you softly and sensually, like a lover would do. Because that’s who he is. A lover. 

The next thing you know is that his wet tongue is seeking permission to enter. He’s dragging the tip of his tongue across the seam of your lips. You give him what he’s looking for immediately. Let his taste invade your taste buds. The taste of sweet caramel. Allow his tongue to tangle with yours. Creating a hot wet mess. You show no reluctance when he starts pushing you back slowly. Just step with him. Let him lift you up and place you on his car hood. Only moan into his mouth when he pries your legs open and finds home between your thighs. Aligning his crotch perfectly with yours. You encourage him when he starts to grind against you slowly. 

All you do is sneak your hands inside his black t-shirt. Palms dragging across his chiseled abs and chest. You just need to feel him. That’s it. Want to feel his heart beat beneath your palm. Want to feel his skin. Want to feel him close. His tongue that is dancing with yours isn’t just enough. You need more. You always need more. 

Jimin pulls away, panting, breathless. 

“Touch me more.” Commands before falling into kissing you again. You don’t let him keep that for too long. You have questions. 

“Like this?” You bring your hands to his sides. Then back into his chest. 

“More, baby. Go lower.” Jimin breathes against you. You do as he says. Drag your palms down. An inch. “Lower.” Another inch. “Lower.” You comply like a perfectly designed robot. Bring your palms down and down. “A little more.” Jimin whispers as your hands come to a halt at his waistband. You beat a second there, making him whimper softly. Just a soft sound that is almost inaudible. Yet you hear it. And it makes your hand fall down automatically. Cupping his length over his sweats. “Fuck!” He hides his face in your neck, peppering the skin with soft wet kisses. 

You rub him over the soft cottons. Over and over. Until that isn't enough anymore. You allow both of you no time to think anything before you slip your hand inside his sweats. Under his boxers. Your fingers wrap around his bare cock, making him twitch in your grasp. His eyes flutter close as his mouth falls open. 

“Holy fuck, Lil.” Jimin moans just as you gasp. You squeeze his length. Start pumping. Graze your thumb over his tip which is already leaking precum and wetting your fingers. You keep your eyes fixed on his face. There would be nothing better than seeing Park Jimin in pleasure. Especially because of you. The way he’s trying to control the moans. Soft gasps that are leaving his mouth. All makes you keep wanting to go. Pleasure him more. So you squeeze him even harder. Pump him faster. “Slow- fuck slow down Lil…” Jimin throws his head back. Grabs your hand over his pants and stills your movements. “Fuckfuckfuck…. Okay..” Inhales deeply before looking back at you. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad would it be if you give me a handjob at this moment?” Asks. 

“A hundred.” You answer right away. Honestly. It is bad. Your friends are still sleeping in their tents. Liya is here. Jimin might have indirectly hinted at the end of their relationship but you know they haven’t ended things officially yet. You ruined your friends’ trip. 

And you’re going to do this here? There would be nothing worse than this. 

Jimin nods. “You should do it. I’ll die if you don’t.” Pants. You nod with him. In agreement. You’ll die if you have to take your hand away. You can’t do that. No. He feels so good against your palm. Warm. So painfully hard and throbbing. You love the wetness coating your fingers. Love how he hisses every time you rub his tip. God, you need more. 

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad would it be if I suck you off now?” You pick up your speed again. 

“A thousand.” Jimin moans. Again honestly. 

You shouldn’t. Absolutely shouldn’t. 

That’s so fucked up.

You shuffle your way down. Jimin makes room for you without a word. Hurriedly. You drop into your knees, drags from his sweats, just enough to get his hardened cock out. You have no time. Hence no teasing or admirings. Just your lips wrapped around him. Tongue swirling across his tip and tasting the precum. You can’t help but moan. He tastes good. So fucking good. You can’t help but squeeze your thighs. 

Jimin tangles one of his hands on your hair. Other one finds strength in his car hood. You let him take control. Give him your puppy eyes and a nod to let him know that he can fuck your mouth. A slow curse escapes him before he slowly starts to feed his cock into your mouth. Inch by pleasurable inch. Until he hits the back of your throat and you gag. Making your eyes sting. This is a familiar dance for you now. You know Jimin as the back of your hand. You know how to get him off. 

You keep your teary eyes on him as he starts to slowly thrust into your throat. Once. Twice. Slowly. Then building up the pace. 

“Fuck, love… You like it?” He whimpers in between his thrusts. You nod while trying to keep your jaw relaxed. Spit starts to drool out of the corners of your mouth and gather on your chin. Tears start to finally roll down on your cheeks. You love every minute of this. You can cum untouched. Just sucking him off is enough. The more he gets closer to his end, the higher you feel. And you almost fall into a state of euphoria when the sudden voices reach you. 

“You need what?”

You recognize the voice to be Namjoon’s. 

“What? This is a good chance to dig up some valuable—”

The rest of the words don’t reach you as Jimin pulls out from your mouth at light speed. He doesn’t even care to tuck himself back inside his pants. Just yank you into your feet and wipe down your face with his palms. Leaving you to take care of him. You adjust his pants back in place. Just a millisecond before Hoseok’s tired voice booms behind Jimin. 

“There you are?” Hosoek’s voice perks up suddenly. The tiredness disappearing. Jimin rubs your chin one more time before turning around to face Hoseok and Namjoon. 

“Morning!” Jimin clears his throat. You do your best to act normal, praying to god that you probably don’t look like you just got your face fucked. You don’t look at them. A moment ago, you were floating in cloud nine. All the problems banished to the back of your mind. Namjoon and Hoseok’s appearance bring those problems back. You feel ashamed to even look at them. Last night's incident aside, you’ve got caught here alone with him. You scream how much of a shameless bitch you are. Hoseok says something else to Jimin which doesn’t reach your ears. 

You should go away. 

“I- I’ll see you guys later…” You bow stiffly to them and step away without another word. Not even bothering to take a single glance at any of them. Not even at Jimin. 

…………………………..

You sit under a tree, nibbling on corn, watching Taehyung explaining to an indignant Seokjin why he lost the game. They are on the water. Almost everyone. It’s water sports day after all. Taehyung had come up with various games that can torture everyone. You have no idea how he managed to get J  to agree to his bullshits.

For your immense pleasure, despite the chaos you caused the previous night, the trip has fallen into its original plans. Or at least everyone is trying to act like nothing happened. Trying to save the trip. And you’re glad. Nobody has paid any mind to you. It’s like they’re avoiding you on purpose and if that’s the case you won’t blame them at all. 

Liya and Seoyeon haven’t joined others in the river. You don’t know where they are. Probably at the campsite, plotting your death. Jimin is with Hoseok and Namjoon the whole morning. Just a few metres away from you. They are sipping beer and seemingly having a serious conversation. 

“Eat slowly, Noona. Chew, will you?” Jungkook speaks up from next to you. You turn to him with an annoyed pout. He’s been nagging you about not chewing food properly before swallowing, ever since you were sick with an upset stomach. According to Dr. Jeon Jungkook, it was all because you were eating too fast. Says the man who inhales the food. 

“Seriously?” You pout even harder.

“Yes, very. Chew properly.” He stares you down. Intently watching the way you nibble on the corn. 

You roll your eyes. Yet start chewing deliberately. Twenty times, counting in your head before you swallow. “Happy?” You ask in the end.

“Yes. See, you’re such a good girl.” Jungkook smiles coyly before ruffling your hair. 

“Oh for the sake of fuck!” You slap his hand away. He snorts loudly. You join him. Both of you break into soft laughter.

“Wanna join the next game?” Jungkook offers you once your laughter subsides. He takes a look over at the way Taehyung holds Jin underwater while Yoona and J are losing their minds. Yoongi stands next to them looking bored. “I mean that looks like the last game we would play… but…” He glances over at you again. “Do you maybe want to try and survive?” Raises a brow.

You take a good look at your friends– who might not see you as one anymore. “I- uh…” You drag out. Not knowing whether they would want you to join.

“What?” Jungkook asks with an edge in his voice.

“What if they–” You try to find the right words to describe the situation. Jungkook isn’t happy about it, however.

“Oh, c’mon… I’m gonna fucking declare war if they don’t want you there. Don’t worry,” He rolls his eyes before rising to his feet. Holds his hand out for you to take. “If they don’t want you, then they don’t want me either. If someone is going to say anything, we’re leaving right away.” Offers you a proud, soft smile. You don’t find much comfort in his words, though. You’re glad he’s still on your side after all. But it feels so unfair.

You might not have wanted to talk about it last night but now after your mood has considerably lifted after the morning encounter with Jimin, you think it’s time to talk. 

“Jungkook.” You whisper his name.

“Yes. C’mon, Noona. We should go over there before Jin dies.”  He bends down and reaches for your hand. You let him yank you up by your wrist. 

“Kookie…” Yet you don’t let him drag you away. “They were right.” You sigh. 

“Who?” Jungkook throws an impatient glance at the commotion in the river. Jin’s head is fortunately back above water and the man is breathing perfectly. Is trying to strangle Taehyung. 

“Namjoon!” Yoona screams over to the man who’s still in a conversation with Jimin and Hoseok. “Will you come here please? They are trying to kill each other. We need an adult.” She yells through the top of her lungs.

“Can you do something?” J asks Yoongi. 

“What do you want me to do? I can lend Jin a hand if he wants maybe.” Yoongi takes a few steps toward Jin. 

“Yah! Kim Namjoon!” Yoona shouts over again.  

“J and Seoyeon,” You start. Take Jungkook’s attention back to you. He clicks his tongue, ready to cut you off but you don’t let him. “No, Kookie. They were right. You- uh- you shouldn’t take my side all the time.”

“Why not?”

“Because I am wrong. I’m not a good person and everybody knows it. The more you take my side, the more they think you’re a bad person as well. You’re not a bad person Jungkook. You deserve far better.” You pull from his hand to make him face you. 

Now it’s his time to sigh. “Well, that sounds like a them problem, Noona.” He furrows his brows. Looks really pissed. 

“But, Kookie—”

“There are no buts. If J thinks I’m a bad person just because I’m taking your side, then she doesn’t know me at all. What kind of friend would do that?” 

His words twist in your gut. To think that you have caused problems in Jungkook’s and J’s friendship makes you want to bawl. 

“Are you even hearing yourself? You’re not throwing away years of friendship because of me.” You say sternly. 

“I’m not doing that. She does. That’s not my fault and for God’s sake, stop saying you’re a bad person. You’re not.”

“But I—”

“You what?” Jungkook grips your wrist tightly. “Fell in love? Well, guess what, Noona. Shit happens. And you can’t help with whom you would fall in love. Maybe you could’ve done it differently or in the right way. But now it’s already over. You did what you did. You made your choices, so let me make mine. I’m going to stick to your side as long as I can.” He turns around. Starts walking toward the people who are still screaming in the river. “Because like I said, you can’t help who you’re falling for.” Mumbles one last time before your feet meet the pleasant chill of the water. 

You don’t get to process what he said exactly. You have more questions to ask him to be honest. J said something about how he had to stop chasing a woman who doesn’t want him back. You need to ask him what that means. But you’re already waist deep in the water and just like you expected J is turning around. About to leave. 

“J!” Jungkook calls after her. “We need to talk.” He states. No wavering in his voice. Sounds like a man who knows what he wants. 

“Oh, yes, we do.” J chuckles. Bitterly. Rolls her eyes. Yet doesn’t oppose it when Jungkook leaves your hand and starts to drag her away. Leaving you behind to stand in there awkwardly. Only for a minute, however. Next, you feel Taehyung slings an arm across your shoulders. 

“Li!” He exclaims as if he just saw you for the first time. You peer at his face. “Wanna find out how long you can hold your breath underwater?” Questions. An alarm blares in your mind. 

“No.” You say slowly, ready to step away from him immediately. Yet Taehyung catches you even before you can try. “No!” You cry aloud this time. “Holy fuck, nononono…” A shrill scream leaves your mouth as Taehyung tackles you down. Taking you underwater with him. Your scream which turns into laughter muffles under the water. Yet you hear Jimin’s voice before your ears get full of the muted gurgle of the river. 

“Yah! Kim Taehyung. I’m going to fucking kill you!”

…………………………….

Jungkook eyes the suspicious-looking soup Namjoon has made. It looks like anything but soup. There’s a good chance someone might die before this trip ends. J is giving a similar kind of suspicious look at the brewing broth on the camping stove. 

His earlier talk with J had gone… okay, for lack of a better word. They are definitely not on friendly terms yet but Jungkook knows his friend will get over it. Despite what he told you, Jungkook doesn’t want to lose J. But on the other hand, he just wishes J can understand him. What she says is true. Jungkook needs to get his shit together. Move on. He needs to prepare for the worst. Because you don’t reciprocate his feelings. Now the chance of you leaving his side for someone else is closer than ever. 

Jimin is an asshole. There’s no argument in that. What he did yesterday was just the bare minimum. You deserve better than that. Still, there’s only so much Jungkook can do. Especially when you want Jimin. When you’re in love with Jimin. Not Jungkook. And now, despite Jimin being an asshole, he might actually figure things out. When that happens, he will take you away from Jungkook. Jungkook will be left behind in his lonely apartment to pick up the pieces of him you shattered. 

He doesn’t want to think about that. Even the thought makes his eyes sting and throat constricts. But he knows it is coming. The selfish part of him still wishes that it will take time. More and more time. Even though he knows it’ll put you and everyone involved in this to suffer. 

You say he is a good person. Well, you can’t be any more wrong.

He’s a selfish asshole. He is no better than Jimin. He’d actually sabotage Jimin’s plans, if he can keep you for another second. Just one more day. Curled on his couch watching shitty romantic comedies. Strolling through super market isles and bickering over what sauces to buy. Deciding who should do the dishes. Play video games even though you’re so bad at it. 

Just one more day!

Because, Jungkook just can’t let you go. He liked you from the first day. Then with every moment he spent with you, he liked you a little more. How can he not? It’s you. Jungkook turns his gaze to you. You’re talking with Yoongi from a distance. You’re saying something to the older man animatedly. Your pretty eyes the size of saucers and your delicate hands in motion. Whatever you’re saying, Yoongi is obviously disagreeing with you. And you’re getting offended. Jungkook knows you are. He can read you like a book. 

Just like he knew, you gasp. Then your head is turning. Eyes are searching. They stop on Jungkook. Of  course, you are looking for him. The ache in his heart doubles as you look at him with wide eyes. Communicating without using words. You point at Yoongi, showing him to Jungkook. Are clearly complaining. Jungkook doesn’t know what you told Yoongi or who’s right or wrong. Still he nods, agreeing with you. Forces himself to smile. That makes you happy. You turn to Yoongi coyly. 

Fuck, he’s going to lose you. 

And he’s not ready. 

Maybe he passed the stage of having a silly crush long ago. Maybe he’s in love with you now. It makes sense. To be in love with you. You’ve become a part of him. That’s what he wants J to understand. 

Maybe now she does. 

“You gotta be kidding me!” 

Or not. 

Jungkook tears his gaze away from you to J at her loud voice. So does Namjoon. His brow lifted with question. J talks to Namjoon instead of Jungkook.

“Are you seeing this Joon? After everything… even after they fucking admitted they were freaking jerks and all… this idiot here is giving her heart eyes like she’s the only woman alive in this planet.” Then she throws a piercing glare at Jungkook. Forcing him to roll his eyes.

“I wasn’t giving heart eyes.” He mumbles. Pay attention to the soup. 

“Then what were you doing?”

Jungkook tries to reply but Namjoon doesn’t let him. 

“You two need to stop bickering for no good reason.” He says to both of them. Jungkook is offended. It’s not him who starts anything. Unfortunately, he doesn’t earn much of a chance to defend himself.

“No good reason?” J gasps. “Our friend over here is so smitten over that woman who’s good for nothi–”

“J!” Jungkook growls.

“See?” J huffs. “He’s still defending her.” Complaints to Namjoon. Then turns back to Jungkook. “Let’s put the fact that she doesn’t like you away, okay. Overall, she’s a homewrecker. She’s a bitch, Jungkook, and you still–”

“Maybe she’s in fucking love.” Jungkook doesn’t intend to say the words aloud. Saying it aloud hurts more. Words physically tangle in his throat, making it so hard to breathe. Yet he can’t just stay put. Maybe you’re a drug and it’s too late for him to turn around. He’s already addicted and he can’t help it.

“That,” J sighs. As if she’s tired of trying to make Jungkook see things. “That doesn’t justify shit Jungkook.” She says exasperatedly. “She did what she did—”

“What if it’s you and Jin?” This time it’s Namjoon who interrupts J. She scowls.

“You mean, what would’ve happened if Jin was in a relationship when I first met him?” J questions. To which Namjoon just nods. “I obviously wouldn’t do it. Not all of us are bitches.” So J mumbles. Jungkook wants to ask her to shut it again. Namjoon apparently has more questions, though.

“What if Jin falls in love with you and starts following you around until you give in? Would you still not do it?”

“Of course, not. Not in a million chance Joon. And Jin wouldn’t do that either. If he was in a relationship he would’ve never done it. It’s that simple, you know. Those are just choices. You chose what you want. And they–Jimin and Li—” J gives Jungkook a stare. “They’ve decided to choose the wrong path. And everyone should stop treating them like the victims just because they act like a poor couple in a stupid romance.” She blurts out in one breath that she almost turns red. A silence follows after her words. “Because that’s not fair.” Then she adds.

“You know what else is not fair?” Jungkook mutters slowly. “It’s not fair that love comes to some people so easily and it’s so hard for others. It’s not fair that it’s so easy for you and Jin but it’s so hard for them. It’s not fair, some get what they want and some don’t.” He even surprises himself with that. But he meant what he said. It may not be the best argument. Probably not fair either. Yet it is the truth. It is not fair how he never even had a chance. It is not fair Jimin at least even has a chance to fight for it but he doesn’t. 

J opens her mouth to argue. Then closes again. Clears her throat. “So what? We all gonna pretend that there’s nothing wrong?” Chuckles. “Pretend like Park Jimin doesn’t have a mistress? That he’s using Liya’s status and name for the sake of his business?” 

“Probably not for long.” Namjoon interjects. 

“Yeah? He’s gonna give up the business?”

“No. Not exactly. They asked for my help.” Namjoon states casually. Yet both Jungkook and J snap their heads toward the older man. Surprised. Confused. J is the one who voices out the questions. 

“For what?”

“Eh, you know. Dig some dirt.” Namjoon shrugs. “They apparently think my team would be able to do something the freaking investigators couldn’t do. Maybe they are right. I have a pretty impressive track record.” Despite his words Namjoon doesn’t sound proud at all. 

“And you said no, right?” J presses. Her eyes wide as she regards Namjoon curiously. Jungkook, without knowing himself, is doing the same thing. 

“I haven’t given them an answer yet.” Namjoon looks into the distance. They all follow his lead. His eyes had wandered to you, who had walked away from Yoongi and now joined Taehyung and Jimin. Helping mix up the drinks. 

Shit! When did that happen and why do you look so happy? Just by standing next to Jimin. 

You’re not standing that close to the guy. There’s a space that would fit two Jungkooks in between you and Jimin. Still it seems like the guy has his hands all over you somehow. That’s how stupidly you’re grinning and blushing. The same goes to the Jimin as well. 

Fucking hell!

“Do they think we have no eyes?” J mutters under her breath before going back to interrogate Namjoon. “Why haven't you given them an answer? You don’t do that type of shit anymore. You’re not a rookie journalist who publishes shit to keep your job.”

Namjoon gasps. “I haven’t published shit. Everything I’ve ever published was true and served a purpose all right? I have revealed truths and have saved lives, you annoying brat!”

“So, you gonna do the same with Liya’s father to save lives? Whose lives are in danger here? Oh, c’mon, Joonie, you’re better than that. Don’t let them drag you into this mess. Let them figure out their problems. Besides, you’re not that much of a friend with Hosoek.”

“What about Jin then?” Namjoon brings the weak point back into the conversation. 

“What about him?”

“You know, if Jimin fucks up, that means Jin fucks up as well. If Jimin goes down then that means all four of them do. I hope you’re aware that this isn’t just Jimin or Hobi who are asking for my help. Jin is a part of it too. He may be a good person, J, but he’s willing to do the same type of thing Jimin does to keep the company alive. I’m not blaming him, they worked hard for it.” Namjoon sighs. “So, you still don’t want me to do it? You want me to let years of their work go to waste?”

Jungkook doesn’t hear what J says. His eyes go back to where you were a minute ago. Now in that space stands Taehyung alone. You and Jimin have disappeared again. Jungkook gets this urge to go after you. Drag you away from Jimin. Force you to stay with Jungkook. Maybe he can confess. Go to his knees and beg you to choose him. To give it a second thought. Ask you to stay for one more day. 

Or…

He can ask Namjoon to stay away. Namjoon will find a way. Jungkook knows it. Jungkook knows that his friend is more than capable. Yet if he persuades Namjoon enough, he’ll not do it. Every passing day without Jimin finding a way would be a day you spend with Jungkook. Jungkook will be your home in this world. No matter what. 

He can actually sabotage Jimin’s plans. What a sweet revenge that would be. 

He can keep you. All he has to do is ask Namjoon not to do it. 

Easy. 

“Do it please.” Jungkook speaks to Namjoon. He doesn’t know where Namjoon and J’s conversation had gone while he was lost in his thoughts. It doesn’t matter anyway. “If it’s going to end this, you should just do it. I’m pretty sure Kim isn’t that much of a good person either. Nor is his daughter. She doesn’t love Park anyway.” Jungkook turns around. Walks away after a gentle pat on Namjoon’s back.

He lost you!

…………………………………..

Jimin presses hungry kisses into the side of your neck. Tangled moans reverberate in his throat. You do your best to keep the noises at bay. Your breath hitching and body shuddering. Jimin trails the kisses from your neck to your face back again, ready to capture your already kiss bitten lips in his. You stop him with a gentle hand on his chest. 

“We—” You pant. “We can’t- we shouldn’t…”

“I know.” Jimin mutters before placing a kiss at the corner of your mouth. Then kiss your cheek. Jaw. Nibble at your earlobe. 

“Jimin…” You whine. Half heartedly. You don’t want to stop. No. But it feels awful. You almost got caught this morning. Jimin says they have a plan and his friends understand him. Still, how shameless and insensitive to do this while Liya is still here. 

“Fuck, I can’t stop, baby. You taste so good,” He hisses in your ear. Hands molding your ass cheeks and keeping your body pressed against him. His hardened length rocking against your tummy. You’re covered from a tree. Are just a few meters away from the campsite. It’ll be a disaster if someone walks in. You already have enough embarrassing, shameful encounters to deal with. You need to stop this for now. 

Jimin licks a path up the column of your throat. 

“Fuck!” You grind your body back into his. Jimin pulls away from you. Eyes hooded and face flushed. 

“We can be quick. Gimme just ten minutes. Twenty top.” Brings his hands up and cups your breasts. Over your t-shirt. Circles your nipples through all the covers. They harden and press against the lacy material of your bra, painfully. You wish Jimin would take them out. Roll your bare nipples between his fingers and then suckle on them. But it is too risky. 

“What if someone comes?” You bring him closer to you. It’s chilly at night. Goosebumps are scattered across your skin. Fuel your desire to be closer to Jimin even more. 

“Bet they don’t even notice we’re missing.” He answers your question as he lets go of one of your breasts to cup his own length. “Fuck, I’m so hard. Just ten minutes, Lil.” Your mouth salivates at the sight. He looks hot. Squeezing his dick. He starts pumping himself over the clothing at the same speed he’s molding your breast. You feel the arousal seeping through your body. Leaking out of your clenching hole. 

You’ve managed to suppress the thirst for Park Jimin for an entire day. But just a touch from him is just enough to make you suffer as you’ve been on Sahara for seven days. The memory of his taste invades your brain. The weight of his cock on your tongue. His sweet moans and grunts. 

“You’re such an asshole!” You replace his hands. 

“But you love me.” Jimin sighs in relief as you start to pay attention to his cock. 

“Yes, I love you!” You repeat after him, searching for his lips. Pulling him into a messy kiss. You’re the one who heave for oxygen first. Jimin’s hard cock, twitching on your hold even more. Demanding more attention. “Wa-want me to suck you off?” You ask, ready to push your hand inside his pants. Jimin balances himself by placing a hand on the tree trunk above your head. Shakes his head. 

“Sounds like honey to my ears but need to fuck you baby. Have to be inside you. Want to feel your sweet pussy gripping me tight.” With that he withdraws from you. Just to turn you around. You brace yourself by holding on to the tree trunk. “Gonna be quick okay?” Jimin asks from behind you. Doesn’t let you answer before he’s yanking your shorts down, together with your panties. You gasp aloud. The cool air of the night hits your skin, pebbling your skin more. “Need prep, princess?” Asks again. Bends you down a bit with a palm placed on your back. Adjusting you into the perfect position for him to take. 

You barely shake your head. Body already shuddering with excitement. “I-I’ll be fine. Be quick, Park. Fuck me already.” You rush him with a wiggle or your ass. Earn a smack. Just light. He soothes it so fast. His cold hands rub your asscheeks. 

“You’re so beautiful, Spring Roll.” Compliments. It’s as if he’s in a daze. Your eyelids flutter close. Blood rushing through your veins. More juices leaking out of your hole. “So wet.” Jimin keeps muttering. His fingers come in contact with your weeping core. Cold. His hands are so cold that your back arches. He drags his fingers over your slit and flicks your clit, making the bundle of nerves pulse under his touch. 

“Oh, Jimin…” You push back into his hand once again. 

A soft chuckle escapes Jimin. He leans forward, crowding your space for your pleasure. Whispers in your ear. “Aren’t you getting a little impatient now, baby?” His voice is sinister. Almost mocking. Is saying the absolute truth. This new urgency in you has nothing to do with having to be quick but everything to do with wanting to be full of him. Wanting to feel his cock stretching you out. “Gosh… love when you’re being a little slut for me, baby.” Jimin rasps as you feel him fumble with his pants as well. “Look at you…” He comes even closer to you. And you finally feel his tip prods against your entrance. “Such a slut.” Moans. Then enters you in one powerful thrust, ripping a moan out of you. “A fuc-king sslut for me.” Drags his hips back slowly, rams forward hard and fast. “My perfect little slut.” Grits. 

Pulls his cock almost out. Thrusts inside your warm walls. Does it again and again. Picks up his speed. The next thing you know is that you’re holding on to the rough surface of the tree trunk for your dear life. Eyes rolling and drooling while Jimin hits all your good spots like he always does. His hard cock dragging along your velvety walls, bringing you closer to that piece of heaven. It’s coming closer and closer. You can taste it. You’re going to—

“Hold it the other way, you idiot!” The sudden voice from distance reaches you out of nowhere. You almost lose your balance at how much it startled you. Jimin’s hips stutter. Then you hear the rustling sound of footsteps. Someone’s coming. No. Scratch that. Not just one person. There’s more. You straighten up immediately. Turn around halfway to look at Jimin and urge him to move away quickly when you feel a pair of hands turn you back around. Jimin grabs your hands and places them back on the tree trunk. Bends you down again. Falls back into his rhythm. Or even faster rhythm this time. 

“Jimin…” You hiss. Eyes wide in disbelief yet also finding your brain scrambles at the sensation between your legs. The fullness. Leaves you torn in two. 

“It’s fine, they won’t come this far, just keep it quiet.” Jimin hides his face in your neck. Thrusts into you relentlessly. 

“Fuck!” You whisper yell. Ears straining to hear if the voices are coming any closer. You recognize Taehyung’s voice. So do you, Yoongi’s. There are some others as well. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck…

Jimin needs to stop. 

He doesn’t. He starts plunging even deeper inside you if it’s possible. 

“Jimin!” You writhe in his hold. Trying to look at his face and keep your balance while not making a sound. 

“Shit. Shit!” Jimin groans. “Can’t stop, Lil. I just… not now… I’m not stopping now. Can’t stop. Not fucking now.” 

His words spurs your inside pleasantly. Previously ebbed orgasm closing in again. 

“Keep it quiet, Princess.” Jimin instructs. A hand snakes between your legs and starts rubbing your clit. The distant voices of your friends slowly drown out by pleasure. Leaving only a ring in your ears. Your legs start to shake. “Fuck, take it like that. You’re doing great, baby. Such a good slut for me… Good girl.” Jimin praises you. With his words the knot inside your tummy blasts. 

A high pitched squeal leaves your throat before you can contain it. You don’t even get a chance to even be afraid, however, when Jimin’s hand clamps over your mouth. Muffling your sounds. 

“Shhh… quiet, fucking hell…” Jimin shushes you. Still doesn’t even slow down his movements let alone stopping. “You want them to catch us?” Asks in a whisper. You shake your head desperately. Nails digging into the tree. Tears stinging your eyes. It suddenly feels too hot and Jimin is holding you too tight. And it’s pleasurable. Even with the impending danger of getting caught. The humiliation. Jimin is about to push you over the edge again even before your first orgasm subsides. “No? You don’t? Then shut up, baby. Be a good slut and make me cum, yeah?” He kisses your neck. Jaw. Ear. Temple. Hair. Every place he can reach. 

“So close, baby. Hold on for me, hm?” Jimin keeps talking to you in a hushed voice. You can only pray that your friends actually can’t hear you. Because you can hear them. Laughter. Banter. Then they might hear you as well. You’re glad Jimin is having a vice clamp over your mouth with his palm. It’s making a mess, however. You can’t help but drool, struggling to breathe. More triggers for that second orgasm. “Let go, princess. I know you can.. Fuck, cum with me, Lil.” 

You cry into his hand. Back arching as the second orgasm of the night washes over you. Your walls squeezing his dick tight. Your cries are sparking Jimin. “Yes, fuckfuck, god, I love you…” Jimin bites onto your shoulder to keep his own voice muffled as his dick throbs inside you, shooting white hot cum into the warm confines of your cunt. He drags out both of your orgasms by keep thrusting into you. Reducing his speed gradually until it comes to a halt. 

He takes another second before taking his palm away from your mouth. You heave for much needed air. Then another before quickly pulling away from you, making you wince and clench tightly so you won’t make a mess on you. 

Fuck, you don’t even have anything to clean you up. You don’t even know how you’d walk back to the campsite. 

What if they heard you? 

What if they know?

And you’re going to walk back with his cum dripping down your thighs?

You hold on to the tree helplessly, trying to come to your senses. Trying to fill your lungs with enough air. That’s when you feel the sudden hot sensation at your still uncovered cunt. You raise your head in alarm. This time your head successfully turns around to find Jimin on his knees. Mouth hovering near your battered pussy. 

“Wh-what are you…” You gasp. Your question melts into an inaudible moan when Jimin drags his tongue through your slit. “Jimin…”

“Gotta clean you up.” He answers simply. Nonchalantly. You, on the other hand, almost die on the spot. Your quenched thirst resurfacing again. 

“Nononono….” You do your best to stay on your legs as Jimin starts to eat out your used pussy. As if he was starved. He licks up your slit and curls his lips around your clit. Then he slides his tongue inside you, eating his own cum from your cunt. Cleaning you up. Like he said. 

Deep groans rumble in his throat. Sounds of thirsty slurping fills the air. He rubs your legs and ass soothingly while raving on your cunt. 

“Oh God, baby… Jimin…. Fuck!” You pant and gasp. This time having to keep your sounds inside by biting on to your own fist. Jimin moans in answer. Making your core vibrate. 

“Taste good, Lil. You taste so fucking good.” He mutters into your pussy. Dwells back into sucking and licking. Buries his whole face in you. “Cum again, Love. Cum on my mouth. Taste good. Need more… please!” Pleads. 

You’re losing your mind. You can’t control the way you’re seeping out of your pussy. You can’t set off the fire inside you. Jimin knows what he’s doing. With his tongue and lips. With his teeth. 

He cleans you pretty well. He does it too much to be precise. He does it over and over again. Until another orgasm ripples through you. Until he cleans that up as well. Until he’s satisfied and his knees ache. That’s only when he stops and gets to his feet. Fixes your clothes. Turns you around to face him. Wipes down your face. 

You peer at his eyes. Sparkling eyes. Filled with adoration. Abundance of adoration. The lust has vanished and in its place remains the affection. 

“You doing good, Love?” Jimin holds you close. You nod. You feel good. 

Even despite this being your second night being awake in a row, you feel good. Physically at least. 

“Fuck, Jimin. We’re so… god, that’s so fucked up!” You scowl. Slap his arm. Still panting and heaving for breath. 

“It’s fine.” He nudges his nose against yours. “No one gives a fuck!” Reassures you. You don’t agree. Yet decide not to say anything. Just hope for the best. “I didn’t tire you a lot, did I?” He takes your attention back to him. Suddenly looks very concerned. 

“I’m fine Jimin.” You give in. Relax. Curl your arms around his waist. 

“No pain?”

“No pain. Just perfect.”

“Good.” He kisses your forehead. “You're gonna find me if something happens.” Says. Not a request. Not a question. Just a command. You roll your eyes. 

“Sure, will find you, Daddy!” You smile coyly. Jimin’s breath slightly catches in his throat. His eyes darken. 

“Okay, don’t start now.” Almost pulls away from you. You don’t let him.

“Wait? You like that?” You perk up. Amused. 

“I… don’t… know, I guess.” Jimin smirks. “Should find out next time.” Pulls you into another kiss. “We should go back, baby.” Mumbles against your lips. You nod in agreement. Luckily the sound of your friends have finally subsided. “Find me if anything’s wrong, okay?” This time he asks softly. You nod with a gentle smile. 

“I’ll find you.”

“Thank you!” He loosens his grip on you. “I love you.” Purrs before actually letting you go. You stop trying to control your goofy smiles. Just grin from ear to ear.

“Uh huh.” Nod. Agree. Jimin scowls. You giggle. “I love you more, Park jimin…. I love you more…”

………………………………

Key wanted to see pictures. Of all of them. You don’t think everyone would agree to model for you at this moment. Yet it never hurts to try. 

“Smile, Jeon Jungkook.” You poke the said man’s ribcage, who’s sitting next to you with a deep scowl in his face, while holding your phone in front of you. The front camera opened. He’s been that way for quite a while now. You assume that his talk with J has gone like shit. Jungkook grumbles. It makes you feel awfully guilty. It’s all because of you. 

“Your friend has seen me before. Why do you need my photos too?” 

You watch through your phone screen as Jungkook eyes you wearily.

“That’s before. She hasn’t seen you at a summer camp, wearing your bucket hat, eating ramen and looking like a grumpy granddad.” You argue. Mostly because you want to make him feel okay. Want to make him laugh. Go back to his normal goofy self and annoy you to death. Make fun of everyone and act as if he has all the energy in the world inside him. It doesn’t work.

“I’m not grumpy.” Instead of the laugh you expect, he gives you a simple answer and goes back to his ramen. 

“Oh, c’mon, Kookie.” You pout before squeezing his cheeks. He stiffens in your hold. For a second. Then he’s removing your hand away from him. 

“Fine, take the damn photo.” He sighs. Faces the camera properly and gives a soft and very fake smile. You don’t press the shutter. You watch him carefully. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask. You know it must be J. Yet you ask anyway. “She’s still mad at you?” You trail your gaze toward the woman in question. Is in a mood as well. Jin is mumbling something to her. Whatever he’s saying it makes J pouts even harder. Jungkook shakes his head. 

“We’re good.” Jungkook snatches your phone away from you. Don’t let you bat an eyelash before he takes a quick selfie of both of you, in which you look like an ugly surprised goose. “There you go!” He hands you the phone back. 

“Yah!” You start. Annoyed that he just did that. Bunch of curses sitting at the tip of your tongue. None of them, however, get out when a sudden pang erupts under your ribcage. 

Sharp. Like a knife pierced through your skin and flesh. A silenced gasp escapes your mouth as you bend down slightly. Your mouth falls open, brows furrowing. The pain only lives very short. Just as it comes, it vanishes. Yet you stay bent down for an extra minute. A ghost of the pain still lingers in your veins. Your brain is failing to realize what just happened. 

“Noona! Fuck!” Jungkook’s voice comes from a distance. You take an unfocused look at his face as he hurries to straighten you up. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…. Are you okay? Is that it? Are you in pain?” Throws question after question at you. It takes you another long minute to come to your senses and answer him. 

“I’m fine… I- uh—” You shake your head slightly, forcing yourself to sober up. “I’m fine, Kookie. It was… nothing. Probably just heartburn.” You finally manage to pull it together. Perk up. Smile. “ Nothing to worry about. Yeah. Maybe it was my stomach.”  Rationalize. 

Jungkook doesn’t look convinced. Of course, he doesn’t. But you really think it is a heart burn. Because it is too early for you to be in pain. Jungkook has his timer on. According to that, it’s just thirty five hours. You’re pretty sure you stayed more than forty eight back at the cottage last year. And you weren’t in any pain either. 

“It’s just a stomachache, Kookie.” You try to convince him again. The last thing you want is Jungkook to lose his shit and spread it to Jimin. They both would drag your ass away or—if necessary — knock you out cold.

“It didn’t look like that.” Jungkook frowns. 

“But it is.” You chuckle. “You know how it is when that happens.” You refer to your unusual pain caused by the mystery of sharing Liya’s space. “ It doesn’t go away this quickly.” Point out. Shake off his protective arm which is still draped around your shoulders. “It’s probably because I just ate.” Gesture at the empty ramen bawl of yours. He still doesn’t look convinced. His charcoal eyes are fixed on you. Studying. Frowning. You almost decide that he’s going to seriously take you away. That’s when a bright voice cuts in.

“It’s time for this new game!” Taehyung announces, taking everyone’s attention at the same time he plops into the empty chair on your other side. 

Good! You’re glad for the interruption, even though you don’t want to play any games after yesterday night. Besides, you don’t think drinking would do you any good either. 

“Nope. I'd rather go swimming again.” It’s Jin who immediately rejects Taehyung. “At this hour. In the ice water.” Adds. Gets to his feet hurriedly. “Naked. And I’ll end up catching pneumonia. That’s fine. I’ll rather die in a hospital bed than dying playing your stupid games.” Practically storms away. 

Taehyung whines in complaint. “Did you see that?” Turns to you. Face adorably scrunched up. 

“I did see that.” You nod sympathetically. 

“Dude is mad at me because he couldn’t hold his breath underwater. Not my fault.” Taehyung reasons. You agree again, doing your best not to roll your eyes. 

“Yes, it's not your fault at all.” You pat his arm. “But I guess we shouldn’t play any games either.” Mutter when he gasps even louder this time. You shake your head immediately. “I mean your games are so fun and all but I’m tired. Everyone must be very tired. These are a bunch of old people, after all. We can take selkas, though.” You show him your phone. “I have a friend who’s dying to see you all.” 

Taehyung scoots closer to you instantly. “Yeah? Is she single?” Asks with a beaming face. This time you roll your eyes. 

“No.” You state. “Don’t even—” Your words get cut off when a third voice joins you. 

“You have a fucking girlfriend moron.” Yoongi pokes his head between you and Taehyung. Facing the selfie. Surprising you and Taehyung both. The last person you’d expect to come willingly for a photo is Min Yoongi. Hence, the weird looks you’re giving him together with Taehyung. “What?” Yoongi snaps when you don’t click the photo. 

“What the hell happened to you?” You voice out.

“Why are you so happy?” Taehyung joins. 

“Did you and Jungkook swap your souls?”  You throw a brief glance at the said guy, who’s intently watching you. 

“Oh, fuck off!” Jungkook scowls even deeper and a pout appears on his lips. 

“Yah! What do you take me for?” Yoongi retorts. Doesn’t let you answer, however. “Take the photo kid.” Orders you. You bid a second more in pure disbelief before actually complying. This time capturing a perfect shot of a pouting you, a grinning Yoongi and a surprised— yet still manage to look incredibly handsome— Taheyung in the frame. “Now,” Yoongi straightens up. “If that friend of yours likes it, I’m a single guy.” Shoots you with his gummy smile. 

“I think he is drunk.” Taehyung whispers aloud. Yoongi hears it obviously. And it doesn’t even take a fractured second before they start arguing like mad cows. You don’t get to join the chaos. Not when Hoseok takes your attention. 

“You’re taking selka without me?” He comes behind you, being careful to avoid Yoongi. “Rude!” Says before winking into the camera. You grin as you press the shutter button. Another frozen moment storing in your phone. The screen goes dark and then the photo you took appears. Just as it does, another sharp pang shoots through your body. Again started under your ribcage. Then travels through your veins. This time you fail to keep it quiet. A mewl leaves you as the phone drops down to the table. 

“Noona… no, no, no.” Jungkook appears next to you like a quick breeze. 

“Fuck!” You hear Hoseok curses. The pain nearly blinds you. Makes your entire body paralyzed for a minute. Then it subsides. Goes away. Only leaving the shock behind. 

“Noona?” Jungkook turns your head toward him with your chin. You’re met with his scared brown orbs. “Jeesus! You’re not okay. We’re going to sleep. Now!” Commands. This time you comply. Without another word. Your brain is still in shock as you allow Jungkook to pull you into your feet.

A mistake!

The moment you fully stand up, a new kind of pain hits you. A loud ring in your ears makes your vision go black. Your head starts to thrum with pain. Sending your head spinning and body stumbling. You feel weak. Then there comes a wave of nausea. Powerful. 

Powerful enough that you actually gag before your hand flies to cover your mouth. 

Jungkook turns you around immediately. Helps you take a few steps away from the table to avoid the mess. You feel his palm rubbing your back as you bend down in half. 

“It’s okay baby. Let go.” He soothes you. Yet it doesn’t come. No matter how sick you feel. How violently your stomach turns. It doesn’t come. Nothing comes out of your mouth except the sound of gagging. And you’re left with the sour taste in your mouth. “It’s okay, it’s okay…” Jungkook keeps coaxing you. 

You hear someone else saying something else, reminding you that you and Jungkook aren’t alone here. You can feel everyone’s eyes on you.

“Shh… it’s fine. Let’s go to the tent, yeah? It’s going to be okay once you sleep.” Jungkook whispers. Soothingly. Softly. You just nod. Praying the annoying nausea and the throb in your head would go away soon. This is new. You’ve been in pain before but it hasn’t been like this. This is an uncharted territory and it scares you.

You force your weak body to straighten up, ready to leave with Jungkook. You don’t want to give up that easily but it’s becoming harder and harder. Maybe you should rest for a bit and it will go away. 

You turn around halfway with Jungkook. That’s when you notice a figure a few feet away from you. From the camp site. To your left. Just standing among the clusters of stunted trees and tangled underbrush. You stop. Eyes zeroing on the figure. Heart picking up speed. You were expecting someone to visit you after all. So, you turn back again, paying full attention to the person who’s standing there eerily still. You try to ignore the trembling in your limbs and the dizzy pulse in your head.

Your eyes travel from the stranger’s head to toes. Taking in everything. 

Woman. You’re certain it’s a woman. You watch the way her hair frames her face. It flows around her face, tangling with the summer breeze. She looks young. Is wearing an oversize black t-shirt—just like the one you’re wearing, which you stole from Jungkook—and a pair of white shorts. Again just like the one you’re—

Wait what?

You jerk your gaze down to your outfit, ignoring the way the sudden movements cause your nausea to double and your head to pound like it’s about to explode. 

You’re wearing a black t-shirt. White shorts. A strange sensation travels across your spine as you turn your gaze back to the woman in the distance. She has moved while you were busy looking at your outfit. She has taken a step forward. Now you can see her better than before. 

Hair.

It’s just like yours. Same length. Same color and she’s even wearing it down like you do at the moment. 

She takes another step forward. You take one back. Her face becomes even clearer. Your breath catches up in your throat. 

It’s you. 

Undoubtedly. Unmistakably. 

You feel like you did when you saw Liya first. But this is different. Even as your alternate version, Liya has her own differences from you. From fashion to habits. This? This is not like that. You’re staring into a mirror. 

She takes another step toward you, forcing you to back up. An alarm blaring in your head. You stare back at your reflection. She is you. Just a little thin. Isn’t she? Now you look closer you think she looks weak. 

Another step forward and another back. Slowly. One. Two. Three. Until you feel the back of your thighs graze the table behind you, backing you into an end and leaving no more escapes. You stop. She doesn’t. She keeps walking forward. One. Two. Three. Until she’s standing a mere few feet away from you. 

You let out an audible shaky gasp. Unexplainable fear engulfing you. 

This can’t be happening. No. No. No. 

You turn your head toward Jungkook, wanting to know if he’s seeing what you’re seeing. Just for reassurance. You expect to see his horrified face as well. Except…

He’s not where he was. 

What?

You immediately turn to your other side, hoping to find Taehyung and others. 

Empty. There’s no one. 

Panic rises in your throat as you turn to your right again. This time faster. Jungkook is not here. But he was just a second ago. So were Taehyung, Yoongi, and Hoseok. You turn around completely. Eyes doing a quick glance over the campsite. 

Empty. 

The table. Chairs. Everything is empty. 

No… What’s happening? 

You start scanning the area while your entire world tilts and spins. Everything else stays the same. The tents. The empty ramen bowls and beer cans on the table. The campfire flickering. But there’s not a sign of anyone else. Of your friends. Only you’re left here alone.

“Ah you little stupid!”

And the other you speak. You turn to her in record speed as you hear your own voice. 

“You fucking moron,” She shakes her head. Looks utterly disappointed. “Look what you’ve done to us.” Gestures at her body. Body that looks weak. She looks sick. She looks like how you feel right now. You gawk at her face, noticing hollow cheeks. You’re pretty sure, your cheeks don’t look like that. Nor do your eyes look that empty and sunken. 

“Wh-who? H-how?” You stutter. Your throat is dry and your mouth is still sour. 

“Look what you have done to us…” She repeats. Ignores your half question. “You ruined us. All because you were a greedy whore,” A bitter laugh escapes her. 

You find yourself incapable of even uttering a single word. She lifts an arm. Thin. As if her flesh has been melted. Brings it toward you. You recoil into yourself, just to fail miserably. There isn’t enough space and her fingers grazed over your cheeks, eliciting a shiver in their wake. “You think this gonna last forever?” She keeps talking. “You think you’ll be able to stay like this?” Another laugh. 

“No… you’re stupid. This is all your fault. Now, these pretty cheeks are going to turn into dust.” She tilts her head to the left, adds pressure to her fingers that you wince at the way her nails dig into your skin. 

“What? I-I—” You try to form words. She ignores you. 

“This pretty skin he adores so much is going to turn into dust.” She drags her fingers down toward your neck. “And he wouldn’t want to paint it with his marks anymore.” The other you smile so brightly. Yet it does nothing to hide the emptiness in her eyes. “And…” She lets her hand fall into your breast, over the soft curves and down toward your stomach. “Everything he likes about us will turn into nothing…” Stops her movements there. “Just because of your greed, we’ll lose everything and—” Her nails dig into your stomach harsher this time. Harsh enough you whimper. “The only thing that would be left for us will be this.” She states. “Only this!” Repeats but louder this time. 

And her nails pierce into your skin. So suddenly and out of nowhere. For a millisecond you feel nothing. Then a sharp pain erupts from your stomach and an inhuman scream rips out of your throat. 

“No!” Both your hands go to hold her wrist when she starts to slice through your skin. Her fingers plunge into your flesh like a blade, tearing your muscles. The wet sound of skin tearing fills the air, together with your screams. You watch in utter horror as the trickles of crimson cover both your hands and hers, then fall down to the fresh grass underneath you. 

“No..Nononono….” You scream again as you do your best to hold her hand in place. She seems weak but right now, no matter how much you try, you fail to keep her from crushing your guts. Literally. Her hand disappears inside you. Forcing more and more horrible screams out of you and making your whole body burn. The sour taste in your mouth gets mixed with the taste of metal. Tears fall down your cheeks uncontrollably. You need to ask her why. But no words make it out your mouth apart from cries and disgruntled noises. She keeps pushing her hand inside you, inch by inch. Until you can only see the white pain. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay…” And she shushes you. Like she’s consoling a child who lost their piece of candy. “It’s fine…” The pain intensifies. “It’s going to be okay…” Her voice is a high pitched scream that rings inside your head. “It’s okay…” 

It’s okay.

It’s okay…

It’s okay….

Her voice echoes around your skull as you bend down in pain. Still holding onto her hand trying to stop the assault. The pain. It doesn’t stop. But her voice starts to fade away. You think that’s because you’re about to faint. About to fall into an eternal darkness. You fully expect that. Yet it doesn’t come either. Instead her faded voice comes clearer again. This time though, not so high pitched. Low. Panicked. Scared. 

“It’s okay… baby, I got you..”

“Lil… it’s okay. Hey, look at me. Eyes on me, baby…”

You blink. Just once. And the other you blends into thin air. In her presence appears a familiar face. Pale and scared to death. You blink once again and everything comes crashing upon you. The sounds. The concerned voices of your friends. Their presence. Yet you only see one face. 

Park Jimin. 

He’s holding on to your body, which is ready to fall into the ground limp any moment. You’re trying to push him away. You’re having a vice grip on his wrist. You stop thrashing around instantly. Eyes taking in the sight of how harsh you’re gripping his hand. 

Was it him? 

No.. you know what you saw. 

You look at your stomach. Perfectly intact and there’s no single drop of blood. Only the pain. You take a minute to register that there’s no creepy woman who looks like you, trying to push her bare hand inside your guts. It wasn’t real. 

It wasn’t real!

A new sob erupts from you as you let go of Jimin’s hand. Fall into his hold. Bawling and writhing in pain. He catches you. Of course he does. He holds you tight. Goes into the ground on his knees when you slide down. Still doesn’t let you go. Gathers you in his arms and presses your face into his chest. 

“Holy fuck… it’s okay… Lil… Hey I got you. It’s okay…” His gentle voice wraps around you like a soft blanket. You would’ve fallen asleep there if it wasn’t for the nasty pain. The pain… 

That’s all you can concentrate on. 

At least until a sudden scream, which definitely doesn’t come from you, catches your attention. Several curses accompany the scream. Through your pain you feel Jimin gasp. Then you feel a soft warm hand on your head. 

“Oh, you poor thing.” A honeyed voice speaks. A moment passes and in the next you feel the white pain in your guts disappear. Not instantly. No. Gradually. It subsides into nothing. Only the weakness being in its wake. “It was an illusion.” The gentle voice says again. This time you find your head turning around. Reluctantly leaving the protection of Jimin’s warmth. A kind smile treats you when you do. And you recognize the face right away. 

That wrinkled face and grey hair. The old woman from the cottage. You perk up instantly. 

“... what you saw…” She continues with something that quite doesn’t reach your ears. “That was an illusion. It wasn’t real.” She pats your cheek. “You still have time.” Stands up. You panic yet again. This time because you know you’re about to lose the chance. Unfortunately, though, your still weak body refuses to even speak. 

“What do you mean she has time?” For your great pleasure, Jimin takes the chance. The woman throws Jimin a glance in disapproval. 

“She has time, my child. She’ll live until then.”

“How long are we talking about here?” This time it’s Jungkook. His voice sounds stern. As if he’s ready to fight. Strangle this old lady to death. 

“Until the day comes.” The woman on the other hand speaks ever so calmly. “Until she has to return ba—”

“What if she wants to stay?” Jimin doesn’t even let her finish whatever she’s saying. It’s kinda awkward since he’s still on his knees. You half on his lap. But he manages to bridge that with his voice somehow. He isn’t asking. He’s saying. 

A chuckle treats you in return. “I wish she had an option.” The woman shakes her head. Slowly. Then her voice turns serious. “She doesn’t.” 

Your stomach drops. You don’t think it’s possible to feel any more pain than you did a minute earlier but you do. You wait for the old woman to say something. She disappoints you. Or not. Maybe you’re glad when she turns around with nothing else. But Jimin changes that. It’s his time to chuckle.

“Every thing has more than one option. It can’t be just live or die. There must be a way. I know there is.” Jimin challenges. Voice sharper now. His grip on you tightens, as if he’s afraid the woman will take you away. 

“Sometimes it is just live or die.” The kind smile on the old woman’s face slips away. A silence falls over. Once again it feels like the end. End of the conversation. End of your hope. End of everything until Jimin speaks again. This time soft but you hear the steel edge. 

“Well, I’m gonna keep fighting.”

“Very well! Do it.” The woman simply shrugs. Expression indifferent. “I hope you’re ready for the consequences as well. It is, my dear,” She sighs. “not fair to force a fish to live on land just because you love it. That’s no love. That’s greed. Now,” She dismisses two of you as she turns to the rest of the people surrounding you. Hell, you even forgot they are here. You glance briefly at the dumbfounded faces. Mouths opened and brows furrowed. “This is a whole lot of work to do memory wipes.” The woman clicks her tongue in distaste. “Maybe I won’t do it…” Mutters to herself. “Yes… no need for such things. This memory will make her life a bit easy.” 

She turns to take a final look at you. Then like the last time she dissolves into the air. One moment she is there and the next not. You hear a freaked out scream. See Hoseok pushes himself into Yoongi and Taehyung stumbles on his feet. Catch the way Yoona practically climbs on her boyfriend’s body as Jin is crazily trying to find connections on his phone. Next to him stands equally ashen faced three women. J, Seoyoen, and Liya.Only three people remain calm—you, Jimin, and Jungkook. You have other reasons to freak out, however. 

All the pain and horror you endured sinks into the back of your mind as the hopelessness engulfs you whole. After everything, she said that you have no options. It’s either you leave or wither into dust. 

How simple yet complicated. 

You stay frozen in that way for what feels like years and you could’ve kept staying that way if it wasn’t for Jimin who finally breaks out of his miserable haze and prompts you to your feet. He offers to carry you when you refuse. Neither of you talk about what just happened. You ignore your friends. Only smile at Jungkook who starts following you and Jimin. You’ll talk about it later. You’ll talk and decide what’s the best way to say goodbye when your time finally arrives later. You’ll answer your friends’ questions later. For now, you’ll just rest. 

You want it. Desperately so. Yet, apparently the universe always has something against you. Even before you can make two steps forward, a sharp whine of an engine disrupts you. You and Jimin come to a halt at the exact moment a grey car rattles into a stop in front of you. The screeching of tires tears through the night air. Then someone practically jumps out of the backseat before the car engine cuts down. 

This time, it is a woman with a familiar bob cut. Face twisted ugly— you assume by dread. Mrs. Seong. Liya’s secretary. You only met her once and she was calm. Collected. Now, though, she looks as if she just escaped death. Still, you could’ve just shrugged off her presence and walked away if it wasn’t for the second person who joins her. 

Emi!

That’s when you know something is wrong. There is no possible reason for both of them to barge in here if everything is fine. Especially, judging by the looks both of them are wearing, something is surely wrong. Terribly wrong. 

“Mr. Park.” Emi is the one who breaks into a walk first. Makes a beeline toward Jimin who’s still keeping his hand around you protectively. She ignores your presence and the fact that Jimin is holding you, completely. Instead, she unclocks her phone furiously. “I know you’re on a vacation and I’m not supposed to interrupt you but this is very important and I- we had to…” She peers at Jimin like a deer caught in a trap. 

“Okay, what is it?” Jimin inquires. You can feel the way he goes rigid despite the way he asked the question. 

“I- um…” Emi stutters, holding her phone tight in her fingers. That makes Jimin snap. He snatches the phone away with one hand. Other still holding you. You curiously turn your face to look at Jimin. Try to take a glance at the screen but before you can Jimin’s hand drops from your body. He takes a step away from you. You feel someone else holds you protectively. Not letting you fall down. If there was any color left on Jimin’s face after what just happened, they all vanish leaving Jimin as a ghostly skull. 

“Fuck!” He curses aloud, then starts scrolling through whatever he’s looking at, frantically. 

“We are in the process of securing the removal of the videos and articles from all online platforms. I have already consulted with legal counsel, and we are preparing to pursue legal action against all parties involved, pending further analysis. But—” Emi starts rambling so fast that you only catch half of it.

Hoseok is the next person to snatch the phone away from Jimin. And you watch the way he pales as well. Next is Taehyung. You turn your head partially to catch Liya and Seoyone looks about to drop dead. Liya is holding a phone which you guess is her assistance. 

What’s going on? Did Liya actually bomb something down?

“How did this—” Jin questions, now a part of ashened people and holding Emi’s phone. “Who?” His question is directed at Jimin who looks too stunned to even speak. 

“I- I—” Jimin tries. Fails. Rubs a face across his face. 

“Someone obviously has tailed you.” Hoseok expresses. 

You scowl deeply, getting partially annoyed that no one is making any sense. You are at the verge of breaking when Jungkook steps in. He just casually takes away the phone from Jin, which is probably rude since that can be a company matter that doesn’t need strangers poking their nose in. Still, Jungkook does it anyway and that’s only when you realize that the person who was holding you wasn’t him. You glance over your shoulder to catch a curious Yoongi, holding you. You don’t get to dwell on him further when Jungkook gasps. His eyes instantly land on you. 

Well, that’s your cue to say fuck it and see what that is. You walk over to Jungkook with your wobbly legs. Peer over at the screen while he still holds the phone. An article title written in black bold letters is covering the screen. 

Public Decency Out the Window? The Power Couple’s Latest Stunt.

For a second, it doesn’t make any sense. Then your gaze travels to the picture under the title. Captured clearly and in full resolution. A man and a woman inside a supermarket. He has his arms around her. Her face is scrunched up. Not in a painful way but in a pleasurable way. She’s in pure ecstasy. 

You’re in pure ecstasy. Wrapped around in Jimin’s arms. 

Blood drains out of your veins. Heart stops beating. It’s like in a dream you take the device from Jungkook’s hand and start scrolling down. If you thought the worst was having a picture of how you look when you cum published, then the next image knocks the wind out of your lungs. Painfully. 

This time it isn’t a clear shot. Nothing is clear but anyone can see it’s two people having sex inside a car. Jimin’s car. You scroll down. 

The CEO of R.U.N and the CEO of The SE were caught engaging in public sex….

The words fade away. Then comes back again. 

Park Jimin and Kim Liya have reigned as the undisputed power couple of the business world…

Industry peers have voiced their disapproval of the couple’s controversial public behavior…

More pictures. Inside the super market. Jimin whispering in your ear. Back in the car. Even shots from your conversation after those moments. The precious moments you shared. You in his arms again. 

“You said there are videos?” You hear Jin questions. 

“Yes. But we’re already taking them down—” Emi starts. You don’t look at anyone. Just keep your gaze fixed on the screen. Maybe if you stare long enough it would change.

“That won’t change shit. People must have copies on them already.” It’s Taehyung.

“How long has it been since this was out?” Hoseok’s voice is shaky. 

“Uh- since this afternoon." Emi answers. 

“Afternoon? Fucking hours? And you’re only reaching out now?” You no longer care who says what. 

This is a nightmare. This can’t be really happening. Surely, this is another illusion of your mind. Hallucination. Any minute now, you’ll find Jimin talking to you gently and bringing you back to earth. But when you raise your head, you find him helplessly staring at you. 

“I’ve been trying to reach Mr. Park all these times…” Emi finds excuses, her eyes going to Jimin but he doesn’t care. Instead, he reaches you. 

“Lil…” He starts. You shake your head silently asking him not to do it. 

“Okay, how did this get out, though? Someone was following you and you didn’t notice?” Jungkook turns Jimin around with a firm grip on his shoulder. Jimin winces. 

“How did they know how to find you?”

“This is clearly Lil, right? Not Liya?”

“Have you traced it back to who took the pictures?”

So many questions bombarded the space. Only the last one gets an answer, however. Emi clears her throat awkwardly. 

“Yes. We did. We got the person behind the camera.” She taps a finger on her lips. Nervous.

“Good.” Jimin talks for the first time. “Who’s the bastard? What’s the fucking reason?” He turns fully toward his secretary. Emi looks utterly uncomfortable. 

“It’s- it’s someone from The Daily Scandal.” She mumbles inaudibly. 

“Daily Scandal?" Jimin repeats. Seemingly at a loss. 

“What do they want? They don’t fucking videograph illegal pornography. It’s shit— the tabloid but since when do they do these kinds of shits.” Jin presses. 

“The photographer was from The Daily Scandal but the photos are not being published in their magazine. He’s sold them to someone else. Some illegal sites.” Emi explains. 

“What the fuck do you mean, Emi? This doesn’t make sense.” Jimin is visibly trying to keep his calm. 

“He was there to catch some sweet moments of you and Ms. Liya.” Emi rushes to explain. Her face is red and is squeezing her left hand’s fingers with the right. “But he got something big and he sold it…” 

“But why was he there in the first place?” Someone brings out. And Emi falls silent. 

“Emi?” Jimin calls her out. Voice flat. Stern. 

Emi heaves a sigh. Then she turns to look at Liya, who’s standing there looking half dead. Her shoulders slump. Dread covering her beautiful features. It worsens when everyone’s eyes land on her. 

“What the fuck did you do?” Jimin barks so loud that even you flinch. He crosses the distance between him and Liya faster than a thunder. Liya takes a few steps back. 

“Do-don’t,” She tries to regain her composure. Acts like the powerful woman she is. “I- I just wanted to make sure the public knows we’re still in a relationship. My father was nagging me so much about the engagement. I wanted to show it’s—”

“So you sent a man after me?” Jimin yells. 

“No!” Liya finally matches his tone. “I sent a man after us.” Gestures between Jimin and herself. “It was supposed to be moments of us together. People were questioning our relationship after what happened in the club. My family was questioning. I just wanted to show everything was okay. It’s not my fault you decided to take your whore there and fuck her in public.” 

“Kim Liya!” Jimin’s voice booms across the endless night. Shutting everyone including Liya into a dead silence. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that.” He adds through clenched teeth. Liya doesn’t say anything back. Just glares at him with a fiery glaze that’s enough to burn the world down. Silence stretches into eons. 

“They think it’s you.” It’s Mrs. Seong who breaks the silence this time. Her face is a blank canvas. “The public.” She continues. “Your family. Everybody thinks it’s you who’s with Mr. Park.” Says to Liya. “Which is a good thing.” Says to Jimin. “This is a violation of privacy and you two are victims. We just need to make an official announcement, apologising for the indecency you caused and claim that you’re ready to face any legal consequences. You were together for a long time and people will surely take your side if we do this right and the news of the engagement will drown out the rest.” She states in one breath. 

And a different kind of realization dawns upon you. 

You’ve seen Liya’s name all across the article but it’s only now that it’s registering in your mind. To anyone and everyone who saw that article, images or the said videos, it’s Liya who’s getting pleasured by Park Jimin. His girlfriend. Not you. In this world you don’t exist. You’re not supposed to exist. 

No wonder you were experiencing a new kind of hell. This explains the hallucinations, doesn't it? It’s not just a few people this time. It’s whole fucking world. This relief you’re feeling right now, probably because that old woman did something. You don’t know how long it will last and the moment it goes away, you think you’ll turn into dust at the spot. 

“You’re not doing that,” Jungkook says. His voice is hoarse. Funny how he’s straight out ordering. “It’s going to put Noona in pain.” Mumbles. He doesn’t have to, however. You know it’s the first thing that rings on Jimin’s mind as well. “It’s going to destroy her.” Still Jungkook adds. Voice raising. Dangerously. 

Jimin’s gaze turns to yours. He doesn’t answer Jungkook. But just one look at his eyes you know what he’s about to say. You almost take a step forward when Liya beats you to it. 

“No. No Jimin. No no no… you can’t” She grabs his arm. Only for Jimin to step back, yanking his arm away from her hold. “This will ruin us.” Liya shakes her head frantically. “You’ll never get through the backlash Jimin. This will ruin your whole damn—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake Liya. Stop pretending. We both know you don’t give a damn about my company. You’re only worried about yours. Don’t try pretending to be a concerned girlfriend, because you’re not.”

“Well, of course I am worried about my company, like I should. But this is going to ruin more than just a company, Jimin. This will ruin my whole damn family. And what are you planning to do? Just give up on everything. Please don’t do this. We have to go with the plan.” Liya’s words turn into a plea at the end. Yet Jimin’s expression doesn’t even falter. He simply shakes his head. 

“I’m not putting her in pain. You created this mess Liya. It doesn’t matter what you wanted to do, it was fucked up to do that anyway.” Jimin takes a step back. 

A strange dread wraps around you. 

“Jimin.” You call him. Ready to ask him not to do that too. He doesn’t let you. 

“No, Lil. I’m not doing that. That’s it.” He states firmly. 

“Well what do you want to do then?” Taehyung asks. 

“We’re- I’m admitting that it wasn’t Liya on the videos. I’ll apologise all they want. I’m gonna admit that I fucked up but I love Lil.” Jimin walks to you. Ignore the way everyone goes berserk.

“Mr. Park.”

“Oh, please, Jimin…”

“Are you serious?”

“What’s even happening?”

Every voice drowns out as Jimin makes it toward you. He cups your face. 

“You need to sleep, Love.” 

……………………….

You tried your best. You talked and talked until you couldn’t anymore. Yet no matter how much you tried, Jimin stayed like a stubborn boulder. He was going to admit it wasn’t Liya on the videos. He was going to admit he was an asshole and a cheater. And then he was going to do his best to try and save his company. According to Jin, that was impossible. Several things were bound to happen. 

First, people were going to give Jimin hell. Second, Mr. Kim was going to pull out. Third, Liya was going to survive as the victim. Fourth, there won’t be a company named R.U.N the next time you come into this world. 

And you felt like shit. This never has been your intention. Still you had no other options but to give up in the end. Jimin wasn’t having any of your nonsense, as he said himself. No one could change his mind. 

That’s how you had to leave with Jungkook. You wanted to go home. You were tired. Pained and in the end were mad. You were burning with anger at how stubborn Jimin was acting. So, you wanted to storm away. You did. You practically threatened Taehyung and took his car with you. You even gave Jungkook the cold shoulder since he was supporting Jimin with everything. 

You were a mad mess when you went to sleep last night. Yet sleep had found you in its all glory the moment your head hit the pillow. You had ignored Jungkook’s request to use the bed and had slept in your good old mattress on the floor. 

Now as the morning has finally arrived and the first thing you can feel is a painful thrum in your head, even before you open your eyes. You groan in pain, keeping your eyes shut as you blindly reach for your bedside drawer where you leave your other phone behind. You’ve learned to leave it behind so you wouldn’t have to worry about losing so many possessions when you wake up in a ridiculous place every time you shift. You stretch your arm to the furthest you can. Something cold grazes your fingers but no matter how much you move your hand around blindly you can’t find the top of the drawer. 

With another annoyed groan you open your eyes, cursing the dull headache. Your sleepy eyes land on a white wall. 

What? 

That’s definitely not a sight you’ve been used to seeing when you wake up in your apartment. 

You furrow your brows in confusion. Turn to your back instantly, staring at the low white ceiling.

Familiar! You’ve stared into the same ceiling so many times but definitely not in the mornings. 

You gasp aloud as you sit back like a broken string of a bow. Your head turning around and taking in everything as fast as you can. 

The couch.

TV.

Coffee table. 

The kitchen at the far corner. 

You’re sleeping on a mattress, which is on the floor. 

You’re still at Jungkook’s place! 

You reach for your phone frantically. Check the time. It’s 7 a.m. And you’re certain you slept last night. You practically passed out for at least a good five hours. This can’t be. Maybe you’re dreaming. You’re supposed to wake up in your apartment. In your world. 

Your swirling thoughts get distracted when you hear a throat clearing. You snap your head to your right at the same time a shirtless Jungkook appears in the living room. Seemingly just woken up. Hair all rumpled and face all adorably puffy. He stretches his arms and yawns. Cracks his stiff neck from side to side. To the right first. Then to the left…

His eyes land on you. He freezes. Just for a fractured second before a loud scream leaves his mouth and he stumbles backward. And you have no idea why you join him with that scream. A one loud scream before you feel your stomach churn and the taste of bile rising up your throat, bitters your mouth. 

You rush to your feet in the next. Don’t pay any mind to still perplexed Jungkook as you disappear inside the bathroom. Throwing your insides out. Only one thing is plaguing your mind. 

You haven’t travelled back home. 

It didn’t happen. 

You didn’t shift. 

Something isn’t right. 

Something has changed. 

Yes it is. 

Things have changed. 

Changed!

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a/n- Leave a note if you enjoyed this one!

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