Had a great time this Monday, Lindseyās concert was awesome! It was a roller-coaster of emotions starting with lots of laughter and some crying, too, full with love the whole time. Thanks @tt-visionā for partying with me again.
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Untill the weekend I didnāt want to care about the game called Detroit: Become Human because David-san had some hands in it but... I started watching a letās play on the weekend because why not and I actually liked what I saw. There are some derps, mehs and bullshits here and there but man I love/like most of the characters and their stories. I reblog stuff I like so you will see posts from the game here on my very own tumbler dot com blog. I will tag them with ādetroit become humanā and ādbhā so feel free to exterminate those via Tumblr Savior or New xKit (if you havenāt already). Also if you are on phone there is an option to filter tags but idk if it works (Account->General settings->Filtering).
Iāve had like 4-5 crushes my whole life I guess thatās what you would call them. I always end up justifying my decision of never telling these people my feelings. I just donāt want to hurt myself with letting them know and this wholeĀ ātell your feelingsā thing is awkward for me like. My mind would keep repeating that scene and uuugh I have enough shit going on there I donāt want to add more. You can guess this time I feel a little different. I had this crush on a guy at work. To be honest if I think back I can see perfectly he had no feelings for me and would have been pretty bad if I told my feelings. Still it really hurts me this time that Iām never so bold to say something and I envy those people who are able to talk. When your mind is poking you constantly with theĀ āwhat if...ā ughhh thatās another shitty thing. I hope time will heal this soon.
Conclusion: stop feeling sad for yourself and focus on other things. Donāt let this crap drag you down aināt nobody got time for that.
Since I have this god damn tumblr then let me just write down some shit so I can get them off my chest. I will really miss my current intern job which has 0 connections to IT/programming. Iāve been there for 10 months and even though theĀ ārealā team can be idiots and ignoring fucks about interns/students working there I will miss some of those people. I will miss my intern buddies, too, I made some pretty nice buddies there and it will be hard to say goodbye to the things we did together at work. It was so much fun with them, putting stickers on the boxes, running the reports or just talking about all kinds of bullshit and laughing, lots of laughing. I know I will be able to talk to them after this but it wonāt be the same and the talks will die soon anyway. I will miss this stability from my life it feels like when I was leaving my flat. It wonāt be that bad being at home but man I would like to get away from here and be on my own for a while. My parents are okay most of the time but I canāt stand my fatherās attitude towards some things and this job was a great way to be not at home after finishing uni in January. Also, university, lol. I guess I will have a hard time finding a job as a junior/beginner software developer or programmer or anything related to my studies. I know some programming but now I wish I practiced more on my own because itās really close to nothing what I learned from university and companies want the best. We studied programming in the first year and then if I didnāt take some additional subjects from that my situation would be even worse. I envy those who already found jobs in our field or somewhere different. I mean I could go to a different direction since I have my agriculture degree but I donāt really want to because Iām not so interested in that. Iām not really looking forward to this spring with an unknown future. And if they call me back to have a chit-chat interview, well those are annoying, too. :( Wish I could go back and kick myself in the butt but I guess it has to be now.
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I would love to work in the software developer field but have to really polish up my skills because man I suck at programming, idk what I did at university for 3,5 years but not enough of that. :^)
29. favorite book?
Hmm, thatās hard to answer. It usually changes from time to time. I really do love āThe āCount of Monte Cristoā and one from my country calledĀ āA Rudnay-gyilkossĆ”gokā (itās a part of a series). :D
30. what color describes your personality?
I donāt know that much about these color stuff and which describes what but if I can say freely without looking it up, I would say dark green. Imagine it like the green in the forest which can be calm but if a storm comes turns it into a giant wave of leaves and branches.
rules: complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. when youāre finished, tag people to do this survey, have fun and enjoy!
1. are you named after anyone?
nope and yes. I was named after my mothersaurus and I have a middle name for fun.
2. when was the last time you cried?
I kinda teared up on something but I canāt remember what was it. I know it was around Women Days⢠because Iām 100000% sensitive that time. I really cried on the bookĀ āA dogās purposeā.
3. do you like your handwriting?
nope
4. what is your favourite lunch meal?
PIZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
5. do you have kids?
nah
6. if you were another person, would you be friends with you?
idk yea cause iām too friendly?????? Or nope maybe :āD
7. do you use sarcasm?
yeaaaaaa
8. do you still have your tonsils?
(the hell????? *checks in dictionary* ooooh) yaaa but I almost lost them around 6th grade
9. would you bungee jump?
no way man I canāt really stand heights
10. what is your favourite kind of cereal?
gimme gimme more stop talking
11. do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
aināt nobody got time for that
12. do you think youāre a strong person?
nah
13. what is your favourite ice cream?
Stracciatella and all kinds gimme gimme more we can talk about food all day long.
14. what is the first thing you notice about people?
The way the look at me I guessssss.
15. what is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself?
Wow aināt nobody got time for that list.
16. what colour pants and shoes are you wearing now?
My pajamas: dark purple shirt with pink base colored trousers (they have colored lines)
17. what are you listening to right now?
i have been listenting to all kinds of music all day I CANāT FIND THE ONE I NEED. gotta search moar. Oh and nothing right now.
18. if you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
idkkkkk... probably like dark green?