#pemm

"Strings Attached"

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IF YOU GIVE A CORGI A DUNGEON MASTER’S GUIDE

If you give a corgi a Dungeon Master’s Guide, they’re going to ask for a Monster Manual.

When you get them a Monster Manual, they’ll probably ask you for a Player’s Handbook. When they’re finished reading, they’ll ask you for a notebook.

Then they’ll want a pen to write an adventure with. When they write the adventure, they might notice the players need somewhere to fight. So they’ll probably ask for a battle mat and some minis.

Once they have the minis, they’ll want to paint them. So they’ll ask for some paint and paint brushes. They’ll start painting. They might get carried away and paint every mini in the house. They may even end up painting a dragon as well!

When they’re done, they’ll probably want to design the place the adventure starts in. You’ll have to get them some random tables for shops and NPCs. They’ll look at the tables, say “hmmm” a lot and roll the dice a few times. They’ll probably ask you to suggest places in the world. So you’ll tell them about where your character comes from, and they’ll ask you to draw it.

When they look at the pictures, they’ll get so excited they’ll want to draw one of their own. They’ll ask for paper and pens. They’ll draw a map. When the map is finished, they’ll want to name the locations. Then they’ll want to make random encounters for each one. Which means they’ll need dice. They’ll roll on the tables and write the results down.

Looking at the results will remind them that they need statblocks. So… they’ll ask for a Monster Manual.

And chances are if they ask you for a Monster Manual, they’re going to want a Dungeon Master’s Guide to go with it.

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