#peminem

Oh hey! It's Eminem's birthday and the last chapter of my pemgk fic is posted. what. a. coincidence. I wonder if those two things are related at all?

Chapter summary: it's Em's birthday, Pete overestimates Kells' jealousy, underestimates how down bad both he and em are for him, and em makes a very sexy birthday wish.

"All I do is drink coffee and say bad words."

Oh Lem. Sweet sweet Lem. 😌 Of course i know who says it.

MARSHALL

Jkjkjkjk

----

"This is all your fault."

"What? My fault? How is it my fault?" Colson seriously can't believe Em's blaming him for this. Hell. He can't believe the dude is bitching at him about it at all. Let alone decided to spend the first 5 minutes of their studio session ranting on it..

From his perspective it sounds nothing short of great.

"Don't play innocent. This has your name written all over it Kelly."

"Oh come on dude." Maybe he did have a minor part in it. But just from a cheerleading position. Em still needs to stop acting so paranoid, they've been friends for months now. Surely he has earned some level of trust. "You said it yourself, all I do is drink coffee and say bad words. No way I could be influential in the slightlest."

His ex rival shoots him one more suspicious look before settling down into his recording chair. Shoulders drawn in and expression still sour as he stares down at his phone.

It's cute. If Colson's being honest. He didn't take Em to be the bashful type when they first squashed their beef and started working together on a record.

Definitely can see how this whole situation spawned in the first place.

"So," Of course he doesn't let the topic drop though. Making music with his childhood idol aside, this shy reaction and small outburst is just begging for more attention. "Which one was it?"

"Which what?" Em's tone is still a little snippy, and his eyes aren't leaving the cellphone he's got clasped between his fingers.

"Did he ask you to dinner or a movie?"

He fully expects the middle finger he gets in response. Along with the swift swirl of a chair to plant Marshall's back in his line of vision instead. The nearly snarled. "Get back to work." Picture perfect.

What he hadn't expected was the rapid flush of color that overtook the older rapper's face. Completely contrasted by the pale tone of his skin and the dark fuzz of his beard. Surprise and embarassment visibily hot on Em's face before he spun around.

Another utterly cute response that's got regret settling in his gut for the first time since Pete first approached him the other week. But not enough to ruin his grin.

Pete may have scored the first date with Em but he's totally going to steal the second.

You and Me and Him (Us) chapter 4!

rating: E

Paul just sensed a sudden disturbance in Marshall's bank account-

Me, now, at the end of 2020 seeing Em and Pete collab and Em genuinely compliment how Pete killed his parody, suddenly overcome by a dozen different cute scenarios of shy dorky Em hitting Pete up over text post SNL sketch with some of his fave corny jokes from Pete's specials to try and become friends--:

You know how Em nd Pete have talked on the phone before? What if that became like a regular thing? Em starts calling after every show, regardless of whether he's mentioned or not and he tells Pete how funny and cool he is and at first Pete just listens and awkwardly takes the compliments, but after a while he starts participating and they start Really talking..

They talk about the show, of course, but also about how fucked up fame is, and about music and just about shit. After a while they both have a weird "aha..." Moment where they realize they're friends (I'm friends with Eminem?!) (I'm friends with someone who is also friends with mgk smdh) but also like as this is going on both of them start to develop crushes on each other. But they haven't really met in person, just talked on the phone and maybe some facetimes, so neither of them says anything until one of them absolutely cannot keep it in and one thing leads to another and that thing leads to phone sex bc cozy said horny asks.

From phone sex comes the inevitable need to meet up in person and when they do it's super weird bc what do you say to someone who's made you come in your pants and bare your soul all on the phone besides "... hey😳" ? But it's eventually cool bc they genuinely get along well, like each other and have chemistry and blue balls. Then they hook up and live happily ever after bc bruh this is not a prompt anymore it's just me rambling 😬

I need, or someone else needs to write a fucking 10 chapter slowburn of ALL of that. Damn 😭😭

It's so cute, and ahhh the idea of those two shy dorks starting off with phone sex before even meeting up to hang?? Please. Take all of my money. I can totally see Pete making some off hand remark one night while they talk about his jerking off habits, fully intending to follow it up with some self depreciating joke. But then Em responds too quick and chuckles while admitting he's in a pretty similar boat and- the idea, no- the mental image of Em jerking off that appears in Pete's braid just short circuits him a little. And it somehow becomes this, thing, he can't stop thinking about, even after they get the call back on track and inevitably end it.

Until his next jerk off session he finds himself biting down of his knuckles, more focused on some dozen odd wonderings on how Em likes to get himself off instead of the porn he has playing on his laptop. Like, would this be the kind Em would watch? Does the guy even watch porn? Would he just jerk it? Maybe use a flesh light? Or...a toy?

And the next thing Pete knows, he's got his head flung back against the pillows and his hips fucking up into his fist over some daydream Em in his head that's twitching and gasping while he grinds back and forth on a dildo.

Of course Em finds out about it too. Sorta. Not on accident either, Pete just can't keep it to himself the next time they talk, from the moment he saw Em's name on the caller screen his cheeks have been burning. Guilt and shame eating away at him until he can't hold it in any longer, and Em's mild rant about studio cleanliness is getting interrupted by a very loud, and very sudden.

"Fuuuuuckk--i- I totally jerked off to you the other night!"

And Pete's finding himself with a dead sounding line for the first time in months. Em silent as a mouse until he fumbles out several fast "I'm so fucking sorry"s.

Pete's fully expecting the guy to hang up on him too. Just, cut the call short and never talk to him again, but instead he gets a very quiet, but also very amused sounding "Really? Like, just my pictures?"

It's a better response than Pete could ever ask for, and totally what leads to them having actual phone sex because Em definitely presses and prods for more detail. Humming and encouraging Pete the whole way through his stuttered recap. Commenting here and there when Pete starts to mumble out the little questions he'd pondered over during.

Yes he watches porn, no not always, of course he has a pocket pussy, he considers them one of modern marvels of all time, and much to Pete's poor underwears bad luck, while he doesn't have some weird suction cupped dildo on his shower wall, he does own more than a couple different plugs and other toys to stimulate his prostate with.

The conversation shifting over to him pressing Pete to share all of his dirty little habits only makes sense to end in a demonstration.

And by that, I mean Pete facetiming his fist slicking up and down over his dick to Em until they both get off over the phone.

It's the perfect outcome.

Mans idol really complimenting his comedian best friend on his rap skills before him.