#pee*

I went out to TCC early, intending to pay my tuition and fees for the class I’m going to take this summer. Except. The Cashier’s Office had been closed for about 20 minutes by the time I got to campus.  “Oh well” I think. I’ll just have to submit some forms online. No big deal. I’ll just run across the street and get myself something to eat.

When i get back to campus, I am planning on dropping my stuff off in the chorale library since I had the keys and then running to one of the ladies’ rooms near the library. But alas. A quick check on my way to the library proved something I had been worried about: The bathrooms were locked.  But it’s not too uncommon for the women’s restroom’s to be locked during the “dead weeks” when there aren’t really and staff or students around. Generally the men’s rooms are still open (for the campus security, I assume).  Well gosh. This is a minor inconvenience. I guess that, if I get desperate enough I can go take over one of the men’s rooms- I’ll just leave a sticky note on the door to warn any men that there’s a lady inside. And then I remember, Oh! The auditorium is almost always open- and the bathrooms inside would be too. So I formulate a new plan: When the faculty lot opens at 5:30, I’ll go move my truck into it, run into the auditorium, and then back to the library! Huzzah!  Right before 5:30, Lisa texted me to find out if I was in the library. I say yes and decide that I can wait until she’s there to leave on my mission.  AS SOON AS SHE GET’S IN THE DOOR SHE STARTS BITCHING ABOUT THINGS AT WORK AND ABOUT HOW TCC HAS FUCKED SOME SHIT UP (story to come in a little bit). I was trapped. I couldn’t leave. I listened to her (legitimate) complaints, wishing the whole time that the story would end so I could just PEE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT WAS GOOD IN THE WORLD.  But alas, I could not escape. And suddenly it was about 6 o’clock. And then Leslie came in. And that’s where everything just gets FABULOUS.

TCC has a relatively new provost. I know NOTHING about her. Except that she makes poor decisions and doesn’t run them by ANYONE. The only times I’ve hear people talk about her, it was to say how much they hate her and what she’s done. For instance, she CANCELED the Civic Chorale for (at least) the summer session. Leslie just found out either today or yesterday. Leslie is now, essentially, unemployed for the summer. At least as far as TCC is concerned.  Leslie is trying to figure out what we can do to make sure this doesn’t happen again and mildly freaking out. Because, if this does happen again in the fall, we are so screwed. 

And, you may ask, would someone cancel the class? Because, I will answer with a frustrated voice, we only had two students sign up for the summer session. And the new provost looked at that and decided we weren’t worth keeping around for the summer. BUT!! We are an arts class. Those never have a large number of students. Our cap for the number of students that can register for credit is 8- maybe 10? So getting 2 students in the summer? That is good! That’s pretty normal for us. And it’s never been a problem before. We’re desperately going to try to get in touch with those two students and tell them that the Chorale will still be meeting and they can still join- even if they aren’t registered for credit. 

TCC is being “generous” enough to allow us to continue using our rehearsal space and our library and we should still be able to have our reservation in the auditorium for the concert. We’re a little worried about how we’re going to be able to access our rehearsal space if Leslie’s key card won’t work… The Chorale’s budget will allow us to supplement Leslie’s salary for the summer which is good.

We’re just. So worried about this potentially happening again in the fall. Because if they cancel us again, we are in serious trouble. We definitely wouldn’t be able to pay Leslie any extra. And we might not be able to continue using our rehearsal space and our library. 

We’re going to see if we can get in touch with the other arts classes (the bands, the African Drumming and Dance ensemble…) to see if they’re in a similar situation. At least a few of the bands NEVER get students in the summer. If we find out that they, with their 0 students, get to keep their affiliation with the College, then we have a problem. (I’m actually going to look a few of them up tonight on the student website for course drop/add. Just to see if anything appears different…)

We’d wondered if maybe Chris and Todd should go with Leslie to have a meeting with the provost sometime. But apparently that wouldn’t really help as she views this as being a matter between the College, it’s faculty, and it’s students. So bringing in “outsiders” would probably cause her to view us a bit negatively. And the best part is, we’re pretty sure this is happening because THERE CURRENTLY IS NO DEAN OVER THE COMMUNICATIONS AND HUMANITIES DEPARTMENT. The previous one retired at the end of the spring semester but she hasn’t been physically there in months. And the new one (who is actually a good friend of Lisa’s) doesn’t arrive until June 1st. So we have no one that can stick up for us right now. 

So. This put everyone in a delightful mood. And we had to be all cheery as we got into rehearsal and registration because we decided to not tell our general membership. We don’t want anyone to get worried and abandon ship right now. 

Chris and I, and maybe Todd and/or Leslie are going to be making visits to at least the “Big Three” local high schools to try to recruit their seniors for the fall. We’re restarting the Chorale’s scholarship so we’re hoping that will encourage more kids to sign up with us. And maybe keep us at TCC for a little while longer. 

Also, my friend Donna’s family is being threatened by a “right-wing militia nut job”. I asked why and apparently it has something to do with “the other son. That i haven’t met. That’s a bit of a criminal…” So Donna’s worried enough to have law enforcement involved (her husband got a promotion and works for the governor in some capacity now so THIS QUALIFIES AS THREATENING A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL) but also finds the situation hilarious.

Todd and I are wondering if the planets are in some strange alignment today or something that would cause everyone to have such a weird Tuesday.

On a bit of a different note, and purely to allow me to ramble into the void:

Lisa asked Todd after rehearsal if he’d mind her inviting his ex to come back to Chorale. And I think Todd was trying to not just say “fuck no” but he left it up to Lisa to contact the girl and see if she’d even be interested. And I am having very irrational feelings about this??? Because a large part of me is just like. This girl. Fucked up badly. And I only know like 5% of the situation. And when she fucked up, it fucked up hers and Todd’s relationship. And he is still hurt by this and it happened at LEAST 2 years ago. I mean. Just the way he responds whenever she’s mentioned. I can practically feel him putting up little defenses. And when Lisa talked about having her in Chorale it was like he was building a mental wall. He is still just so bothered by her and whatever happened.  And I just. Feel very protective of him because he’s such a good friend?? Like, it’s absolutely NOT my decision but I don’t want her coming back. I don’t want to meet this girl and have to be friendly to her because I’m not even sure that i met her when she was with the Chorale before and as far as she’s concerned I’d have no reason to know anything about her? I don’t want Todd to have to deal with her. He unfriended and blocked her on Facebook a few months ago (I assume that it took so long because of potential drama with mutual friends of something?) and it was so good that she wasn’t sending him near-novel-length messages anymore. He was happy about it. And now, Lisa is suggesting that she come back?  Like. The last time they saw each other, at the celebration of life for a woman’ from Chorale last August, she essentially cornered him and asked him for a hug (in a way and place that would make him appear to be the “bad guy” if he declined) and then wrote a LONG FB post about how it meant he’d forgiven her and how much she still loved him. (I only saw it because she TAGGED HIM IN THE POST and it showed up in my newsfeed. That’s when I started to learn about them. Todd hadn’t wanted people to know, that didn’t already know, anything about it. He was so annoyed when he’d realized how many people had been able to see that post.)

I am worried about him. Even though I know I really shouldn’t be. He’s a grown man and he can handle himself. I know this. But he’s also one of my best friends and my favorite people and I just don’t want him to have to deal with anything that upsets him. I am so very protective of him???

And I’m also wondering how many, if any, of my feelings about this/her are some sort of… misogyny? Whether internal or not? Do I feel like this about her because of the feelings I have for Todd, beyond our friendship? Do I see her as some sort of “potential threat”? As someone who may be “encroaching” into my “territory”?

( “Seriously anything with Deen in it is pretty normal there’s bound to be something missionary-” “RAY GODDAMIT” )